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Being dragged out of bed at 2 in the morning wasn’t exactly Ray’s idea of a good time. It didn’t help that he had only gotten to bed only two hours ago and then was suddenly awoken by knocking on his front door. Now, he was forced to stand in the living room with the last person he wanted to see.
“I miss you,” Joel said quietly.
Ray scoffed and crossed his arms. “And you’re telling me this why? In fact, why do you think I’d care about that?”
“I’m sorry. I really am.”
Just a week or two ago, Ray had overheard his boyfriend of two years insult his family and his friends in the worst way possible. Arguments had torn the two apart in no time and Ray wasn’t in any mood to give forgiveness.
“Look,” Ray breathed out heavily. “It doesn’t matter whether you said those things as a joke or seriously. What matters is that you insulted the people I love and then you ripped away my feelings as if they were nothing. Oh, and now you want me to take you back? Fuck that shit.”
Joel remained quiet as Ray continued to list off everything wrong the older man had done, his voice increasing in volume by the second.
“On top of all of that, you come over here in the middle of the night to tell me you miss me.” Ray laughed cynically and threw his hands up in the air. “You’re a fucking nutcase, Joel.”
Letting out an angry breath, Ray shook his head and pursed his lips, looking away from the older man. He could feel Joel’s eyes on him and just wished he could slip back into bed and forget about everything until morning.
“I have this problem where I don’t think before I talk,” Joel started, only to be interrupted by a scoff from Ray. The older man cleared his throat and began again, his voice slightly trembling. “I never meant to hurt you or the people you love. What I said was wrong and I deserve all the hate in the world. I just…what can I say to make you give us a second chance?”
“Leaving would be nice,” Ray mumbled, annoyed that his heart was actually feeling sympathy for Joel. He brought his hand up to his face, as if attempting to push back the secret need for Joel he had been repressing.
“Ray, please,” Joel reached out and stepped in closer to the younger.
Shaking his head, Ray stepped away and squeezed his eyes shut. “How can you expect me to just forgive you like that?”
He could hear Joel swallow before the man opened his mouth. “I’m not asking you to forgive me like nothing happened. I just want us to try love again.” Silence filled the room and Ray guessed Joel was thinking about his next words. “We’ve hit a bump in the road, but I don’t want to throw everything away just because of that. You make me happy, Ray, even when we fight. After all, aren’t those moments just when we learn more about each other?”
Ray thought about this and wondered if Joel’s words did indeed have some credence to them, realizing that despite all the times Joel pissed him off, they had some wonderful moments together.
“I’ll just leave,” Joel whispered and Ray blinked, unsure if he had taken more time to think about the situation than necessary.
Deep down, Ray knew that he truly did miss Joel, but felt too proud to admit it. The pain from their previous fight still stung and it chewed away at his brain. Watching Joel leave however made Ray feel panicked, and in a flash thought, decided his fate then. As Joel opened the door, Ray finally found his voice to speak to the older man, preparing himself for what awaited.
“Number one, stop leaving beer bottles around the entire apartment. We have a recycle bin for a reason.”
Joel stopped in his tracks and turned around slowly to stare at Ray. For some reason, this gave the Puerto Rican new confidence and he stood up straighter, now looking Joel head-on.
“Two, if something is bothering you about my friends or family, just let me know and we’ll see what can be worked out. It’s better than berating them behind my back.”
Ray held back a smile as Joel’s face morphed from confusion to distrust and finally settling on an unreadable emotion.
“And three, if you really want us to be a thing again, you have a lot of work cut out for you.” At this point, Ray felt his joking side take over and he tried to think of outrageous requests. “Food is a good place to start. You can…uh…” Ray’s voice trailed off as Joel practically marched over to him and grabbed his face with both hands. “Uh…food…you…what…was I talking about?”
Joel’s reply came in the form of a forceful kiss that Ray immediately had no objections to as he eagerly returned the affection, only then realizing just how much he had missed Joel in their time apart.
“Does that mean I can stop sleeping on Burnie’s couch?” Joel asked once the kiss had ended.
“Well, if you think my couch is an upgrade,” Ray teased and then smiled at Joel’s fake upset face. “Fine, come on, you. I’m tired.”
Ray dragged Joel to the bedroom and flopped down first, waiting for Joel to join him at his side. Immediately, Joel snuggled into him and Ray toyed with the older man’s hair as he drifted off to sleep. There was work still to be done in order to repair what had been broken between the two, but Ray guessed that would be solved in the morning and was just glad to have Joel back at his side.
Why he had decided in just a short conversation to start anew was beyond Ray, but when he heard Joel snoring softly beside him and a tight arm around his waist, he figured that maybe there was still something to be had after all.