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Tony landed on his back, Steve's solid weight knocking the breath out of him, but that was completely unimportant, because Tony was was licking into Steve's mouth and Steve's hands were unbuttoning Tony's shirt and, god, Tony loved his life right now. It was amazing enough that Captain America was alive, but for Captain America to be alive and nearly naked and in Tony's bed? Oh, yes, he had the best life in the entire history of the world.
Until Steve pulled back.
Tony tried to follow but, really, when Captain America wanted you to stay put, you stayed put. You couldn't argue with muscles like that. Tony wriggled experimentally and watched Steve's muscles flex slightly in response.
Yeah. There was no doubt, Tony's life was fucking amazing.
Steve was looking earnest. Which was kind of his default expression but he was looking especially earnest right now. "I've been reading about safe sex," he said, "and all the pamphlets say we need to discuss our previous sexual partners before we do this."
Tony blinked. "That's what condoms are for," he said. "They're much better than the ones you had, by the way. You can actually feel through them."
But Steve was shaking his head. "It's not just about disease," he said. "Besides, I think I'm actually immune to everything. It's about emotional intimacy, and our physical expectations, and making sure we're both looking for the same thing from the experience."
"I'm looking for an orgasm," Tony said. "I really, really want an orgasm. Really."
Steve's mouth was set in the line that Tony already categorised as I Have Super Soldier Stubbornness. "We're not doing anything more until you tell me about your previous sexual partners."
Tony buried his hands in his hair and made a noise of despairing frustration. "I don't know! JARVIS, how many people have I had sex with?"
"I regret I haven't kept a record, sir," JARVIS said. "I suspect I can't count high enough."
"See?" Tony said. "Even JARVIS can't tell you about my previous sexual partners."
Steve was looking slightly flabbergasted, but he recovered enough to say, "Well. Okay. But I think you should know that I've had sex with two people."
"Fine," Tony said, "you're not a blushing virgin. Neither am I. Will you take my damn clothes off and fuck me?"
"And I have had sex with a man before."
"Even better. Why don't you demonstrate what you learned?"
"Including," Steve continued determinedly, "anal sex and oral sex."
"It'll go quicker if you just show me what you've done. And then I'll show you what you haven't. It'll be educational and fun."
"And the man," Steve finished, "was Howard Stark."
"Lucky hi-" And then Tony's brain caught up with his mouth and he shut up.
"Can we carry on now?" Steve asked.
"Did you just say," Tony asked slowly, "that everything you know about fucking men, you learned from my father?"
"Not everything," Steve said. "I've been on the internet since I got here and there are some things I'd like to try out."
And while that was a fascinating idea, Tony waved it away as not being relevant to his main point at that time. "But all your practical experience is with. My father."
"I don't sleep around," Steve said, looking slightly offended. "I was in love with everybody I've had sex with."
Which, on the one hand, meant that Captain America was in love with Tony, which was fantastic and amazing and, yes, his life was great. But, on the other, meant that Steve had been in love with Tony's father, which meant that Tony's life sucked.
"Oh, god," Tony said, remembering. "He gave me all the pictures of you that I had on my wall as a kid."
Steve looked pleased. "He kept pictures of me?"
"That was entirely not my point," Tony said.
Steve rolled off Tony with a sigh. "I don't see why you're so bothered by this."
"Really," Tony said. "You don't see why I'm bothered by the fact that your cock has been inside my father. Or possibly the other way around."
"Both, actually," Steve said helpfully.
"I don't want to know the details!" Tony said, and screwed his eyes shut, as though that would help shut out the mental images. It didn't.
"Does this mean that we aren't going to have sex?" Steve asked sadly.
Tony opened one eye and looked over at Steve.
Steve was... Well, quite apart from the whole Captain America, Saviour Of His Country, thing, Steve was tall and blond and gorgeous and his muscles had muscles and he was nice. Which was an impossibly bland way of describing the sheer depth of goodness in Steve and his complete lack of any malicious impulses but it was true.
And there were the muscles.
"Why don't you tell me about what you read on the internet?" Tony said. "And never, ever mention my father again."