Chapter Text
“Stay focused, youngling,” Yoda commanded as Leia’s mind wandered from her mediation. There were a million and one things Leia would rather be doing with her time, rather than sitting here in a stuffy training room with a dozen other Jedi children as they all sat in silence and meditated.
“Perhaps a break, you need, child,” Yoda did that annoying thing where he read her thoughts. Leia grumbled an insult under her breath as she pulled herself up from her mat and headed towards the door. She had the slight desire to walk over to Luke’s mat and sending him a quick kick but such actions would only put her into more trouble.
The Jedi Temple was truly a beautiful place to the outside eye, with tall pillars and wide corridors all holding a simple yet angelic design. Leia wondered the halls for what seemed like hours, wondering when such breath-taking architecture resembled more of a prison than a safe place.
In a way, it made sense for the Temple to be so beautiful. If Jedi were only really going to see the inside of such a building, you may as well make it pretty. It was a beautiful prison that had shackled her with rules and expectations she herself had no choice in obliging to. The decision had been made for her and Leia resented the fact that her soul had been sold to the Temple before she’d even had a chance to live freely.
“Shouldn’t you be in training with Master Yoda, young one?” A familiar voice sounded behind her. Leia couldn’t help the grin that grew on her face as she turned around and met the brilliant sight of her Dad towering over her.
Anakin lowered himself down so he was at eye-level with his daughter, his blue eyes identical to Luke’s shining with adoration. The familiar scar over his right eye didn’t look so harsh in the dim lighting of the Temple’s corridor.
“I got bored of meditation,” Leia answered honestly. All she wanted to do was jump into the man’s arms and let him kiss her forehead just like she remembered. But then Anakin stood back to his full height and Leia could no longer see his eyes shining.
That’s right, she remembered. We’re in the Temple. We aren’t Father and Daughter in the Temple.
“Your Jedi training is important, young one,” Anakin cleared his throat, distancing himself from his daughter with much force. Leia frowned, her bottom lip threatening to wobble as her foot twitched in a tell-tale sign of a tantrum brewing. She hated when he spoke all Jedi Master to her. She hated it when his voice went cold, as if she were just another Jedi youngling and not his only daughter.
Leia knew her Dad loved her, he’d whispered it enough times when he snuck into her and Luke’s room at night (the only time he was allowed to be Anakin Skywalker: Luke and Leia’s Dad and not Anakin Skywalker: Jedi Master). But she hated how he had to pretend as if he didn’t when they were walking in broad daylight.
Screw the rules Leia thought, waiting a few Jedi in long brown robes to pass before she asked the question that had been itching at her for weeks. “It’s Luke and I’s birthday tomorrow.” She stated the fact as if she expected him to forget.
Anakin’s eyes softened once more and he ducked down again once the corridor was deserted, his lips pulling down in a soft but sad smile. “I know, Princess. The best 8 years of my life.”
She wondered how he could say that when the truth was they hadn’t even been together for all 8 years. Sure, they’d been a family once but after the twins hit the 18 month mark, the Jedi had come banging on their mother’s apartment door and their life after that had been one of deception and secrecy.
“Are you going to sneak us to mom’s like you always do on our birthday?” Leia tried to not let the tears form in her eyes as she awaited her Dad’s answer. Each year on their birthday, Anakin would sneak the twins out of the Temple at night and take them to their mother’s before sneaking them back in at Dawn. She wasn’t sure if the tradition had started on their first birthday after being taken by the Jedi but she remembered the past few years clearly.
Last year, they’d arrived at their mother’s just after midnight. Banners and balloons had been spread all over the apartment and after a tearful reunion with their mother sobbing heavily, two large cakes had been brought out.
But now the twins were getting older and Leia knew sneaking them out was becoming far harder.
Anakin took in a deep breath, one which Leia knew was going to answer her question in a way she didn’t want. “Leia, sneaking you out is becoming impossible. The Jedi are doubling down in security as of late and you know as well as I that if someone catches us, we’ll all be separated.”
“We’re already separated,” Leia tried to stem the tears. She didn’t want to sound whiny (she wasn’t Luke!) but the unfairness of the situation was enough to bring that out. Her birthday was the only day of the year she saw her mother!
“If the Jedi find out about our family then they’ll move me away so i have no contact with you,” Anakin sighed once more. “They might even move you and Luke to different classes.”
The thought of that made Leia shudder. Her brother was the only stability of family that she had. With no promises of their Dad and their Mum being forced away, Luke was everything to her.
“We aren’t a family,” Leia sobbed, hating the hot tears that ran down her cheeks. She was going to be 8 tomorrow! She shouldn’t be crying like a baby over something that she had no control to change.
“Leia,” Anakin frowned, his eyes flashing with hurt. He looked like Luke when she made fun of one of his model pod-racers. “Don’t say that. Of course we are!”
“No,” Leia shook her head, taking a step back. “Families stay together. Families love you no matter what—“
“I love you no matter what,” Anakin stressed the words like they were his lifeline. “You know that; you have to know that.”
“Your love doesn’t fix everything,” Leia angrily wiped the tears away. “Just because you love me doesn’t mean you’re there for us. It doesn’t mean we’re a family. It doesn’t mean anything other than the fact that you just do. Luke and I are nothing but the product of you and mum’s lies.”
“Leia!” Anakin hissed her name, no longer caring to make this scene look innocent. Out of the 2 Skywalker children, Leia had inherited his temperament and emotional displays and right now, that was shining through.
“You and mum lied to everyone and now Luke and I are the ones who are suffering,” she sniffed, taking a step back when her Dad reached out a hand to console her. “We never even had a chance to be a family.”
She was about to run away when she stopped short, seeing another familiar figure making their way towards them. Anakin was still on his knees, a sunken look drawn across his face as Ahsoka finally joined their little scene. Her mongrels had grown significantly in the past years, her features growing out of her adolescence. She was still Anakin’s Padawan but rumours had been circling that she was soon ready to take her test.
“Everything okay here?” She frowned between the pair, knowing her Master well enough to know something was going on. In all her years by Anakin’s side, she’d never seen such a haunted look on his face. Coupled with the fact that Padme Amidala’s daughter was crying a few paces away from him, Ahsoka didn’t need to be a genius to understand something deep was occurring.
“I just got lost,” Leia mumbled, wiping the rest of the tears away. “Master Skywalker was trying to help me get back to my training room.”
Ahsoka could see through the lie but she didn’t press. She watched as her Master stood up to his full height, his eyes shining with a pain that Ahsoka had only ever seen once. His skin was pale and when he looked at his Padawan, she thought he’d seen a ghost.
“Perhaps you can help the youngling, Snips?” He cleared his throat. “I’ve got buisness to attend to.”
It made Leia want to be sick over the fact that her Dad had a better relationship with his Padawan than he did her. He could throw his arm over Ahsoka’s shoulder in public and boast about her accomplishments with pride without causing suspicion. He could laugh at her jokes and tease her without any other Jedi batting an eye.
But most of all, where Leia’s nickname of Princess was something only she ever heard, the whole world knew who Snips was.
“Are you alright Leia?” Ahsoka questioned as they walked back the way Leia had come.
“Yeah, why?” The Skywalker stubbornness came through.
“Well, not to point out the obvious but you’ve been crying. I know Skyguy can be a bit intimidating but you don’t have to worry.”
Leia almost rolled her eyes. Her Dad was so not intimidating— at least not to her. Sure, she could see why he could be: he was tall, a war hero, the Chosen One, extremely powerful in the Force and he had a dark side no one could truly understand or curve. But to Leia, her Dad was the guy who called her Princess and kissed her on the head each night despite the risk of exposure. He tickled Luke when the boy was upset and he always rolled his eyes at Leia’s sassy responses.
Leia just wished Ahsoka knew all of that. Perhaps in a different life the Togruta would’ve picked her up by now, using the Force to make Leia laugh away the sadness as she got called Skyguy Junior.
But that wasn’t meant to be. Leia would always be a Skywalker but only in private.
“Well, this is your training room,” Ahsoka stopped suddenly outside the tall doors that Leia had exited from a little while earlier. “Keep your chin up, yeah?”
Leia sniffed, watching as her Dad’s apprentice walked away. “Ahsoka!” She called before she was too far away to hear. Ahsoka turned around, a quizzical look on her face. “If you see my mum soon, can you tell her i miss her? And that i’m 8 tomorrow?”
A look of anguish fell across Ahsoka’s face. Even though the parentage of younglings was meant to be kept secret from them, the fact that Padme Amidala’s twins were Force Sensitive had made all media outlets buzz for months. It hadn’t been hard for anyone to piece together the fact that Luke and Leia Naberrie were the Senator of Naboo’s children. (It was just a fact no one really acknowledged).
“You know attachment is forbidden, Leia—“
“Just please,” Leia cut her off. “Even if you aren’t going to do it, please just tell me you will.”
Ahsoka sighed, nodding heavily. “Very well, i will do just that.”
Leia knew she wouldn’t.