Chapter Text
Sidney found the cliff views on the approach to Sanditon a mixture of comforting familiarity but more recently associated with anxiety and stress. The later caused mostly by his brother Tom and his grand schemes for the once peaceful seaside village. Of course Sidney had invested in Tom's plans, how could he not, when he owed Tom and Mary so much from the past ten years.
The upcoming ball was another such favour as requested by Tom. He insisted on Sidney's attendance but that alone wasn't enough, he had to get his rich friends involved in something that could very well be a disaster. At least Babbington and Crowe were fairly relaxed about such things, they were happy with entertainment of all sorts.
Sidney took a deep breath of the sea air that he had grown up with and found some comfort in the familiar scents and sounds. He often missed their old family homestead that he had passed further back on the road into Sanditon. His late father and mother would've been dismayed with how Tom was behaving when it came to his young family. Mary was exasperated with Tom when Sidney last visited and in her letters he could tell she was increasingly worried. So much of what he agreed to do for Tom was in reality for Mary's sake. Sidney had decided to get a moment with Tom on this trip and talk to him about slowing down on his grand schemes and to take time to consider his wife and children.
Sidney took another deep breath as he could see Sanditon in the distance. Almost there and he anticipated the other problem he was going to have to deal with. His ward, Miss Lambe. If all his plans had been followed she would be settled in her lodgings by now with Mrs Griffiths and the silly Misses Beaumont. Thankfully, he had thought of Sanditon as an alternative location for Georgiana when he had discovered her association with that scoundrel Molyneaux. She might have loudly objected when he had announced his plans and she had loud objections down to a fine art, but he was immune to her hot temper by now. In reality he wanted her out of his hair and out of London. She was an obligation he never wanted but owed to her father. Sidney could never understand why Admiral Lambe thought he was an appropriate guardian for his one and only child. Their years of acquaintance in Antigua was amicable but he never thought he was held in such high regard by the gentleman until he was dead and gone and his will revealed the enormous burden that was Georgiana. They had only been back in England a few months and already the years ahead before she came of age were unbearable to Sidney. Her wanton behaviour was bad enough but trying to protect her from unscrupulous gold diggers was proving to be stomach wrenching. He was convinced he was getting a stomach ulcer, but Babbington and Crowe but put those pains down to too much whiskey or rum.
Maybe some relaxing time with family and friends, along with some sea bathing would sort him out. The London scene was not what it used to be, but then again he was much older than when he had last enjoyed the entertainment of the ton. His life experiences since then had changed him and his attitudes to so many things. Recently he had become frustrated with the silliness and shallowness that surrounded him in London, even among his old acquaintances, he was increasingly becoming angry and irate. The odd bout of boxing helped relieve some of that anger but it couldn't go on, something had to change, but he didn't know what. Hopefully a few days in Sanditon would clear his mind and show him a way forward, some way to regain some balance in a society that had changed so much that it no longer suited him or else find a new society that suited him better, he currently knew not which.
He thought back to London society when he had last enjoyed it, when Eliza was his ideal, before she ripped his heart out and put him on a path of self destruction that was nearly the end of him. How immature he was, to think that her opinion was the be all and end all. They really had been too young to have been considering marriage. He could see that now, especially as he was all too aware of the hazards of such an event for Georgiana, who had riches to help her along, while he and Eliza had so little, ten years ago. What fools they were.
Now he was older, wiser, richer and much less tolerant of silly girls who only seemed intent on nabbing a rich husband by all sorts of allurements and tricks. The past few months had opened his eyes to the desperate lengths some girls, and girls were all they were, and their mothers, would go to get his attention and try to tempt him. Little did they know that all the fawning, fanning, fluttering and giggling had the opposite impact, than the desired one, on Sidney Parker. He was desperate for sensible conversation and straight forward honesty. The feathers, powders and paints, all made them look the same, they all blended into the one super fashionable mould with nothing to distinguish them or catch his attention. He was tired of them all. Maybe he was destined to remain an old crusty bachelor who just doted on his nieces and nephews. Actually that wasn't too bad an idea Sidney thought and smiled.
He was coming closer to the village when he spotted two ladies walking along the road towards him. On closer inspection it looked like Mary and someone he didn't recognise. He was happy to see Mary, he was always happy to see her. He stopped the carriage and alighted quickly to greet her. "Mary, well met" he said, " new maid?" The stranger looked at him slightly surprised. Her big brown eyes reflecting her confusion. Obviously not a maid then, who could she be? Mary's relatives were all known to him and he had never met this young woman before, he would've remembered. She struck him as somehow different from the normal young ladies, her hair was loose and not primped and prodded into some ridiculous fashion that took hours to achieve. She had a freshness to her that he couldn't put his finger on but no doubt she was as silly and giggly as all the rest of her sex.
"Sidney, this is Miss Charlotte Haywood. Our guest at Trafalgar house." Mary clarified.
"Miss eh?????" Sidney asked. Why could he not remember something that was told to him not five seconds previously? Was he losing his mind? What had distracted him? Her freckles? Her lips? Those eyes?
"Heywood" she said. He was even surprised by her tone of voice. Not a giggle to be heard. She was a novelty of sorts this Miss Heywood. Sidney had to glance away to process all this new information. He hadn't thought there were young ladies left who didn't automatically burst into giggles when he spoke to them. The Misses Beaumont were perfect examples and it wasn't just with him, they seemed to behave like that around all men.
Mary and he had a brief conversation about Tom and the blasted ball before he felt the need to move on. He was most unsettled by this revelation of sorts.
"Off to lady d's? Then I won't keep you. Miss Heywood" he made his farewells and returned to his carriage. "until later" he shouted, but he thought this was going to be very interesting and later he would get another chance to observe Miss Heywood much more closely and see if she was as unique as he thought or more likely, was as silly as all young females.
Sidney had a tough time, as usual, getting Crowe out of the hotel and to the assembly rooms. The man was a nightmare to accompany, unless there was alcohol to imbibe. At last they made it to the ball. Sidney was already prepared for his brother to pounce on them as soon as they arrived, no doubt because they weren't there early enough, or there should've been more rich and influential members from London society. Tom was rarely truly appreciative of what he did for him. Tom really had no idea how hard Sidney had worked to convince these two to come to a small seaside village, that no one had heard of, that had little or no entertainment in comparison to London. Only they were good friends and he was footing their bill, they wouldn't be here at all. Tom never thought of those sorts of things. He expected Sidney to be able to snap his fingers and all sorts of the high and mighty of London would come running. Sidney had no idea where Tom got these notions from, but he knew he was partly to blame as he always did try to satisfy his brother.
As they entered the ballroom Sidney had to admit it, it all looked well and there was a decent crowd with some reasonable fashion on display. At least it wasn't going to be a total embarrassment. As predicted Tom pounced on them as soon as he saw them.
"Sidney there you are. Well met, well met. Make yourselves known to these ladies."
Sidney turned to where Tom indicated and saw her, naturally she would be the first who caught his eye. Miss Heywood. He had to admit she appeared much different in this environment than on the cliff side yesterday, yet she stood out amongst the other two ladies on either side of her. Miss Brereton and Miss Denham. Sidney had met these ladies before and found one to be cold and the other so saccharine sweet that she was sickening. He had little or no time for either of them, and his face probably reflected that. He made the introductions to his friends and cringed as his voice changed on Miss Heywood's name. If Babbington or Crowe detected an interest on his behalf they would be insufferable, they were already haranguing him about his lack of interest in women. Even visits to certain boarding houses no longer had any interest for him.
Crowe of course tried to be flirty and witty with the ladies but was swiftly dealt with by Miss Denham, which surprisingly amused Babbington. Of course dancing was the purpose of their attendance so Sidney prepared himself for either Crowe or Babbington to request Miss Heywood to dance, as she was obviously the most attractive of the three. He turned away to hide his emotions from his friends and feigned disinterest. As Babbington reached for Miss Denham he was stunned, was the man insane? Why would he pick that iceberg over someone who was so blatantly delighted to be there and would be a delight to dance with? As Sidney watched them take to the floor he thought he was going to have to dance with Miss Brereton, as Crowe was a fool but he wasn't a blind drunk fool yet. As Crowe took Miss Brereton's hand he was stunned. Were his friends idiots? That left just him and Miss Heywood, facing each other. She looked somewhat embarrassed but he was intrigued. He glanced at her properly for the first time that night. Her hair was pinned up with a feather adornment, how predictable. Her dress was of a slightly dated fashion but her figure was not the slim norm of London and was displayed most attractively. It was hard to miss her figure in that dress. He hoped he wouldn't reveal too much of his interest until he knew more about her, his opinion was still undecided, the giggles and talk of inconsequence could emerge at any moment. As they took their positions Sidney felt a slight hitch to his breathing, this felt quite good, natural almost. As they began to dance he had to admit they seemed to move smoothly together, not that that was unusual with young ladies of today. However, there was no overpowering perfume from her, he could actually breathe, there was a light fresh scent of lemons or some such fragrance. As she started to speak she began with a compliment, ah well he thought, how disappointing, the usual techniques to attract and beguile were already being used. He was well used to deflecting these arts. To many people he came across as cold and stern but he wasn't in the habit of giving encouragement to young ladies where there was never going to be a development in any anticipated romance.
She proceeded to query if he cared about the advancement of Sanditon. That made him pause, a most unusual yet insightful question. Interesting. He was pondering the fact further when he was distracted by the announcement of Mrs Griffiths and her charges.
Sidney made his way over to welcome Georgiana and unsurprisingly she was still angry with him. He was really getting weary of her behaviour but he was at a loss as to what he could do to fix things. Her safety was his priority, not necessarily her happiness.
As the dancing continued he couldn't help but notice Miss Heywood dancing with Edward Denham. Sidney hoped that Tom, or at least Mary, had warned her off that particular questionable gentleman. The man was dangerous to any young lady, with or without a fortune. He had given strict instructions to Mrs Griffiths about him. He was a fine fellow if you wanted to have a laugh, a swim in the ocean or a few sherries but around women he had seen him in action too many times.
Sidney was getting weary of the whole thing, especially with Georgiana scowling at him every time they made eye contact, so he made an escape to a balcony to wait out the rest of the ball or until Crowe and Babbington had had enough. He was starting to relax when Miss Heywood joined him. He could have left her alone and excused himself but he was still curious and a little hopeful. Here was another chance to find out was she as shallow as all the rest or as unique as she seemed. She seemed to be glowing with good spirit and just happy to be there. There were no side eye glances or simpering behind her hand as she spoke to him. But maybe that was just her country ways, for he had learned a little more about her from Tom. Sidney asked what she was thinking about and expected some inane comment about the fashion or music, that was not her response.
"I was thinking.... how hard it is to make people out"
'Aha 'thought Sidney, 'another attempt to force her attentions upon me, ok let her try her best, let's see what she can compliment you with Sidney....anything you haven't heard before?'
"People in general " she continued to talk about general observations and not him at all. He was confused, not at all what he was used to. Was this young lady not also on the hunt for a rich husband?
"And what have you observed about me?" Sidney asked. He gave her another doorway into the usual compliments and flattery. He didn't think he had totally misjudged her. It would come out yet. He even gave one of his rare smiles to see if that could do its usual trick.
"I think you must be the sensible brother of the three" she replied.
Sidney had to laugh, he was right again. Part of him was disappointed but not unsurprised. Here comes the flirtation.
As she continued Sidney struggled to believe what he was hearing. These were not the compliments he was expecting, far from it. She was criticising his family to his face. The fact that she was accurate and he had asked her for her opinion, escaped him as his rage increased along with his shock and embarrassment.
Sidney reacted the only way he knew how. He went on the attack to defend his family. He knew it was working as he verbally slated her and her face reacted to every verbal punch as if it was a physical one. All his frustrations and anger seeped out of him and he laid them all upon her shoulders as if she was responsible for the years of hurt and disappointment he had suffered. He then found himself actually defending Tom and his actions, when he himself knew there were issues to be dealt with. Sidney had really got up a rage when it registered with him that he had gone too far and there were tears in her eyes. He knew he had to sort this out or Tom was going to have yet another reason to bug him. He apologised. But still he couldn't help adding out loud his own mental reservation, that she was a young girl with no experience or understanding. As he left the balcony he thought that while she is young and inexperienced, he was the tired and jaded old man who should've behaved better. He was ashamed of himself. Sidney realised he really needed to get a grip of his emotions. Maybe they had been buried away too long or was anger all he had left inside of him?