Chapter Text
Ling Yao had no idea what he did to piss God off enough to land himself Edward Elric as a roommate.
At first, when Lan Fan had moved out to live with and take care of her ailing grandfather, Edward had seemed perfect. He offered to pay more than his share of the rent “because he had the money, so why the hell not.” He didn’t eat any of Ling’s food. Hell, he wasn’t even around most of the time, either working or visiting his brother.
So yeah, Ling hadn’t minded the small, angry blond at all.
But then Edward got weird. Well, Ling suspected he had been weird the whole time, but after about a month, decided he was tired of hiding it.
It started with little things. He drew weird symbols on the walls, and when Ling asked what they were, he told him to “Fuck off,” and left it at that. Ling didn’t really mind, he’d gotten used to Ed’s filthy mouth and terrible personality, but it still left him curious.
Then he brought over a ton of old weapons. Swords, knives, there was even a bow. Again, this could have been written off as a weird hobby, and Ed’s eccentric-ness, but then Winry (Ed’s girlfriend, who had helped him move said weapons), warned Ling not to touch them under any circumstances. When he asked why, she just sighed and shook her head, telling him to ask Ed. Of course, Ed didn’t tell him.
Then Ed started coming home at weird hours, covered in blood, and sometimes, even his automail had been busted up (Ling always left when that happened because he didn’t want to be a witness to his murder at Winry's hands). He knew Ed was always ready to throw down, but Ling had no idea who or what Ed could possibly be fighting that could completely destroy automail like that.
He tried to sweep all of this under the rug, act like it was no big deal, and complained about it like it was a “weird roommate thing” to Lan Fan.
Lan Fan’s favorite theory was that Ed was a member of some cult. Although, she did genuinely believe he had an interest in the occult, and probably just enjoyed getting into fights.
Ling wasn’t so sure about either one of her theories, all he knew was that Ed was weird, and he had a feeling it was only going to get worse as time went on.
The icing on the cake though, however indirectly, was Ed getting Ling possessed.
Ling was fairly certain that topped everyone’s horrible roommate stories.
Ed got him fucking possessed.
“Hey, Ling. The fridge is fucking empty, you want to just go out tonight?” Ed asked as he slammed the appliance in question closed.
Ling glanced up from the paper he was writing. It was due at midnight, but that was a whole five hours away. “Yeah, sure.” He set his textbook aside. “Don’t you have work tonight, though?”
“Eh.” Ed grabbed his tacky red coat off the hook and motioned for Ling to hurry up. “I’m late half the time anyways. Besides, that damn bastard could do some work for himself, every now and then.”
That damn bastard was Ed speak for his boss. Ling wasn’t sure he’d ever heard him refer to the man as anything else. “I don’t know how you’ve managed to keep that job,” he said as he tugged his shoes on.
“I’m good at what I do,” he said.
“You work at an antique shop, Ed. It cannot be that hard,” he said.
“Tch. I’d like to see you try it.”
Ling rolled his eyes. Ed was probably just so grumpy because he had degrees in chemistry, biology, and engineering, but couldn’t find another job. Although, he never really seemed to be looking for one… “If you hate your boss so much, why don’t you just get another job? Aren’t you like a genius?” He’d graduated with three degrees by the time he was twenty-one, and acted like it was nothing.
“Since when do you care about my job?” he asked. “Fuck off.”
He raised his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright. Let’s just get some food.”
Because Ling was a broke college student, they ended up just grabbing some fast food, despite Ed’s whining. “I miss Winry’s cooking…”
“You’re just spoiled,” Ling said around a mouthful of french fries. “Me and Lan Fan live off this stuff.”
“And I feel sorry for you,” he said. He began to pick at the limp lettuce on his burger in disdain. “Honestly, Ling. Your life’s so damn boring.”
“Ouch.”
“No, really!” he said as he rested his elbow on the table. “You go to boring-ass classes, go to your boring-ass retail job, and occasionally you meet up with Lan Fan to go to your boring-ass ultimate frisbee league.”
Ling frowned. “What the hell made you think Lan Fan and I are part of an ultimate frisbee league?”
Ed’s eyebrows knitted together. “You’re not?”
“Uh, no?”
“Well whatever the hell you two do together,” he continued. “My point still stands. It’s so fucking boring.”
“Well, I agree with you about work and some of my classes, but it’s not so bad,” he said. “To me, your life looks like an anxiety inducing chaos disaster, and I don’t even know that much about it, so I think I’ll stick with my boring one.”
Ed shrugged. “Alright, whatever. Just saying you could try spicing it up every now and then.”
“Mmhm, and how would I even go about that?” he asked.
“I don’t know, start a fight!”
Ling crossed his arms. “I would prefer not to get arrested.”
“Ask Lan Fan out.”
“Lan Fan is a lesbian,” he said.
“Try some witchcraft.”
“I think you’re self projecting your hobbies onto me.”
Ed threw his head back and groaned. “God, you’re so picky. I’m trying to help you out here.”
“How?” Honestly, Ed was a disaster.
He shrugged. “Eh, whatever. You get bored enough, you’ll figure something out.”
“I never said I was bored!” Ling exclaimed. “Some of us actually like stability in our lives. Anyways, we should probably head back to the apartment. I have a paper due tonight.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Ed shoved the last bite of his burger in his mouth.
They were on the way back to the apartment when Ed got his wish and Ling’s life became a lot less boring.
They were about halfway back, and Ed froze and grabbed Ling’s shoulder. “Oh, shit. Hey, I just remembered, I had to do this super important thing for Hawkeye. I’ll see you in the morning. Good luck on your paper.” Then he turned and sprinted back the direction they’d come from.
“Are you kidding me?” Ling muttered. Of course, it wasn’t the first time Ed had pulled something like that, but that was the most blatantly untruthful excuse so far. He had no idea what the weirdo was doing, but it definitely wasn’t running an errand for whoever Hawkeye was. “Whatever,” he sighed, and continued on the way home.
As soon as Ed disappeared among the people on the street, someone grabbed Ling’s shoulder, shoved their hand over his mouth, and yanked him into an alley.
“Shit, that’s not Fullmetal!”
“You dumbass! They look nothing alike!”
Ling thrashed against the person who held him, but they were strong. Way stronger than any human had any right to be. The further he got pulled away from the street, the more freaked out he became.
Am I seriously about to be murdered right now!? I can’t believe my last meal was a McDonald’s hamburger! He tried to scream, and the person shook him. “Shut the fuck up, what the hell are we supposed to do with him?”
Finally, one of the kidnappers stepped forward so he could actually see them. She didn’t look like a kidnapper. She was beautiful. Then again, Ling supposed anyone could look like a kidnapper.
The woman scoffed and rolled her purple-red eyes. “Still don’t understand how you mistook him for Fullmetal. You’re so goddamn stupid, Envy.”
“Shut up, you slut!” the one holding him shouted. “He smelled like Fullmetal, so I grabbed! We should just kill him.”
Ling’s eyes widened and his struggling renewed. He kicked his legs, pulled against the iron grip that held his arms behind his back, he even tried to bite at the hand over his mouth. It did nothing.
“Watch it, brat,” the voice hissed in his ear. “I’ll end you right now.”
“Cut it out,” the woman said. She leaned forward, as if she were inspecting him. “He looks pretty sturdy. And we still need someone to shove Greed into.”
“Seriously?” Ling could hear the eye roll in his kidnapper’s voice.
The woman glared at whoever held him. “Yes, seriously. Look, it’s either that or kill him, and at least this way, we don’t have to go hunt down a Greed replacement later.”
“Fine.” The hand finally pulled away from his mouth, but before Ling could scream, he was bashed over the head, and knocked out.
When Ling came to, he almost wished he hadn’t. He was strapped down to a table, in what looked like some giant, shifty basement. “Oh my god, Lan Fan was right about cults.”
“Ayyy! He’s awake!” A person leaned over him, and Ling recognized their voice as the kidnapper he hadn’t seen, Envy .
A few moments later, the woman appeared as well. “Well knock him out again,” she said. “I don’t want to listen to him.”
“Awww, come on, Lust! Dontcha want to have a little fun with him?” they asked.
She whacked them on the back of the head. “Just put Greed in him.” She turned and stalked off.
Envy stuck their tongue out at her.
Ling struggled against the leather straps pinning him down. “What the hell is going on?”
Envy snickered. “Whiny little human. Don’t worry about it. It’s not like you’re gonna be around for much longer anyways.” They patted Ling’s head, much rougher than necessary.
“What the hell does that mean!?” he demanded, still fighting against his bindings.
Envy’s grin made him shudder. “Lust!” they shouted. “Get whatever’s left of Greed from Father. You’re right. He’s annoying as fuck.”
A few moments later the woman returned a tossed a little vial filled with red liquid to Envy. “There he is. God, I hope he’s less obnoxious this time around.”
Envy rolled their eyes. “You know he won’t be. He might have had his memories erased but I’m sure his garbage personality is still there.”
Lust sniffed. “You’re one to talk about a garbage personality.”
Envy bristled. “Watch it, you hag!”
For a pair of kidnappers, they sure didn’t get along very well.
“Alright, hold still unless you want to lose your head,” Lust said. Then her fingers lengthened, turning into massive claws.
“What the hell?” Ling squeaked, freezing when he realized she was not joking about taking his head off at all.
One of her claws slashed a shallow cut into his neck. He winced, and clenched his jaw to keep from crying out.
“Give me it.” Lust’s claws retracted back to fingers and she held her hand out.
Envy handed her the vial.
Ling jerked against the bonds again. They were not putting whatever that was in him, no way! It had to be a drug of some kind (and he had to have already been drugged, because he refused to believe that woman’s claws were anything but a hallucination).
Lust uncorked the vial and dumped whatever was inside it in his wound.
Immediately, intense pain spread through his entire body. He screamed.
Envy leaned down to whisper in his ear. “See ya around, kid.”
That had definitely been some kind of weird drug and Ling was definitely hallucinating. There was no other way to explain the disembodied voice he heard.
As his body jerked and spasmed, some adverse reaction to whatever he’d been dosed with. Crazy laughter rang inside his head. He banged his head against the table, trying to dislodge it. “Get out! Get it out! What the hell is happening!?”
Envy’s deranged laughter joined the laughter in his head. “Oh, get a load of this bastard!” they howled. “Greed’s gonna have a good time smothering his soul.”
The pain in his head intensified, and he was so close to blacking out. So close. Maybe he should stop fighting it. Maybe he should just black out. The pain would stop, and maybe the crazy voice would too.
Yeah, that’s it, brat. Give up control.
Ling passed out.
He got little snippets.
Snippets of his body moving, even though he wasn’t controlling it. He (not him? He didn’t know), got flashes of screaming, blood, claws.
“Greed, what the hell are you doing!?”
More blood. More screaming.
Was he screaming? He thought he might have been.
Shut up, pissant.
He was definitely screaming.
I’m getting us away from my fucked up family. You got somewhere we can hide out?
Ling gained enough awareness to realize someone was talking to him. “What?” His mouth didn’t move with the word, but whoever he was talking to heard it, all the same.
Somewhere to go! So we’re not passed out on the street and getting arrested ‘cause we’re covered in blood! Let’s go, bastard! Come on!
“Uh… home?” he suggested. “My apartment?”
Works for me, the voice said. Tell me how to get there.
Everything started to get hazy again.
Hey! Much as I hate it, we gotta work together right now. So don’t go fucking tapping out! Tell me how to get to your apartment!
Ling managed to tell the voice the address. “Sorry… that’s all I got…”
Everything went dark again.
Somehow, someway, Ling woke up in his bed the next morning. He had himself half convinced the entire nightmare had been just that… a nightmare.
Then he saw the dried blood on his hands and clothes. “Oh no…” He couldn’t remember everything. He remembered those people grabbing him, them drugging him, and then those weird flashes that must have been some crazy acid trip. Right? Right?
Not quite, kid.
Ling slammed against the wall. “What the hell?”
Ling, right? Alright, listen, here’s the deal.
Ling madly glanced around his bedroom, but there was no one there. “I’m going crazy. I’m going insane.”
The voice cackled. Nah, not really.
“Who are you?” Ling demanded. “What are you?”
Name’s Greed, the voice said. And I’m a demon.
“Demon?” Ling squeaked, still pressed into the corner. “You’re a demon?”
Eh? You hard of hearing? The fuck did I just say? Greed snarled.
“I’m possessed…” he muttered, staring at his bloody hands in horror. “What did you do!?”
Relax, Greed purred. I just took care of my jackass siblings so we could get out of there. And yeah, you’re possessed. Unfortunately for both of us, we’re stuck.
“Go possess someone else!” Ling shouted.
The demon laughed. It doesn’t work like that, fucking moron!
Ling slid down the wall and grabbed his pillow. He was one move away from having a freakout. He was possessed. Fucking possessed! What was he supposed to do now!?
Then he remembered he’d had a paper due the night before, and somehow, being possessed became the least of his problems. “Oh shit, my paper!”