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The countdown to summer vacation was on - the boys had even gone so far as to print out a calendar marking down the few remaining weeks. The hot pink MAY caught Burt's eye as he grabbed the salad bowl and it startled him again how he'd had one kid this time last year and was now up to three.
By the time spring break had rolled around, Leah Puckerman had pretty much given over parenting to Burt and Noah hadn't slept anywhere else since. It bothered him sometimes that Noah's parents continued to fail him, though, a sentiment matched by Noah's nana.
Sally Johnson had come to the garage the day before, to meet him. "Leah's weak, and that deadbeat Adam was, too," she said fiercely. "They don't know how to handle a strong boy like Noah. I put the fear of God in him when he was smaller than me and he still respects me. They didn't know how to do that, and she's paying for it now. All those months of missed dinners, and she finally tells me, go see Hummel's. She letting you take care of him now?"
"Yes, ma'am," Burt said. "He lives with us now."
"Good," she nodded. "Then maybe I can finally retire down to Florida. Been waiting for Noah to be taken care of. I thought it'd be a good Jewish girl, but a goyishe father will work, too."
Burt had found himself inviting her over to their next Friday night dinner, which had been turned into Shabbat by the end of their conversation.
Now it was Friday, and Nana Johnson had arrived with most of the meal in tow. Burt set the salad down in front of Kurt, who was listening to Nana tell the story of meeting...well, Burt wasn't exactly sure who it was. Kurt seemed to, though, judging from the stars in his eyes.
"All right," Nana finally said, briskly clapping her hands. "Noah, let's begin."
The Hudmels watched as they led prayers and lit candles and finally declared it time to eat.
"So, what are you boys planning for the summer?" Nana asked, as they started loading their plates.
"Well, as many of you know, I've already started planning out the book for my musical, Pip Pip Hooray," Kurt said. "I have some new pages, Carole."
"I can't wait to see." Carole grinned at him.
"I was, uh, wondering if you needed help at the shop," Finn said, looking at Burt. "I know I made a mess of that one thing," they all winced, "but maybe?"
"Maybe," Burt said. "I'll see what hours I can find. Maybe Kurt can teach you some stuff."
"I can do a few extra hours a week," Kurt said. "I want to be ready for the fall collections."
"I was actually thinking I might need to cut back on hours a little," Puck said. "Gotta fit in my pool cleaning business."
"Really?" Kurt asked. "I thought you would have given that up."
"No way," Puck said. "Easy money. I mostly do it in the mornings, Burt. Can we make that work?"
"Sure," Burt said. "That's easy enough. I'm impressed that you plan to keep your business going."
Puck beamed as Nana nodded her head. "Yes, well done, Noah. I always knew you had a good head on your shoulders. It sounds like you're all good boys here."
***
After dinner, Kurt helped Burt put away the dishes while Puck visited with his grandmother.
"How long has Noah had the pool cleaning business?" Burt asked.
Kurt shrugged. "Since the summer before sophomore year, I think." He stacked the cups by color. "Santana wouldn't date him without a good enough credit score."
Burt raised his eyebrow. "I don't think I knew what a credit score was in high school."
"Well, Puck learned and came up with that. He's lucky he didn't look 15, or else it probably wouldn't have taken off so well. He's very popular among young mothers." He tilted his head, considering.
"Probably a few older ones, too."
"What, you think they perv on him?" Burt said, frowning.
Kurt hesitated. "I think everyone appreciates a handsome young man around the house," he said. "Dishes are done, see you later."
Puck was closing the door behind Nana as Kurt passed.
"I've heard about what your pool cleaning entails," Kurt said as they went upstairs.
"Like I said, dude. Easy money."
"So you're still going to do all of it?" Kurt asked. "Even living here with Dad."
Puck looked at him oddly. "I don't do it here. Why should where I live matter?"
"Dad wouldn't like it, you know."
"He seemed fine with it at dinner," Puck said.
"Because he thought you were cleaning pools," Kurt pointed out.
"But I am cleaning pools."
"How does the sex fit into that?"
"It's like a reward system," Puck said. "For my best customers."
"Hottest customers?" Kurt said dryly.
Puck shrugged. "Whatever. The loyal ones, they get a chance for a little extra Puckzilla in their lives. I get a little extra cash. Everyone wins."
"You better hope Dad never figures it out," Kurt said.
"It's a damn fine business operation," Puck said. "We all have to start somewhere."
Kurt shook his head and headed to his room.
***
It was three weeks before Burt figured it out. It took some overheard conversations, a few of Finn's smirks when Noah talked about some of his regular customers and a few pointed remarks from Kurt about rewards programs, but he put it all together. He and Carole talked it over, and waited for a Saturday when Kurt had plans with Blaine and Finn was out with Sam.
"Noah, we need to talk."
Puck glanced up from his TV. "What's up?"
Burt turned the game off. "Tell me about your business model."
Puck frowned. "Well, I advertise, I get customers, I clean pools. There's some good word of mouth around about me, too. Puckzilla gets it done."
"Gets what done, exactly?" Burt asked.
"Well, cleaning. Chemicals. Fishing mosquito nests from pools after vacations. Stuff like that," Puck said. He sat up, remembering Kurt's warning that Burt should never find out about his entire business model.
"Sounds good," Burt said. "So you have some real good clients, right? They give you the most work, the most referrals?"
"Sure," Puck said. "I have a few of those."
"Got a reward program in place yet?" Burt asked.
And there it was. Puck didn't have a chance to respond before Burt stepped closer.
"I could have sworn that last fall, you said you wanted to stay out of juvy."
"I do," Puck said. "I've stayed out of trouble, too. Mostly, anyway. Well, you know."
"Thing is, Noah, prostitution and solicitation are crimes. Pretty big ones," Burt said.
"It's nothing like that," Puck protested. "What are you talking about?"
"So you don't have sex for money?"
"I've had sex with some of my regular customers, yeah," Puck said. "And they're the ones who tip well."
"It's illegal," Burt said. "Not only that, it's wrong. You shouldn't be sleeping with married women, and they shouldn't be sleeping with a minor. For money! Forget juvy, you could end up in jail, Noah."
"I give my customers what they want," Puck said. "And if it's me, and they're hot, why shouldn't I?"
"Because it's illegal," Burt repeated. "It cheapens you, it cheapens your business. You do good work, Noah. Why dirty it up with something like this? You're better than that."
"It's sex with hot women," Puck said. "Dude. You've got to understand that. It's a good thing."
Burt's lips tightened. "It's not. You wanna have sex, sure. You're a teenage boy, I get it. But this is wrong. They are taking advantage of you."
"I don't agree," Puck said, crossing his arms.
"I don't care if you agree," Burt said. "It's done. No more reward program. Maybe no more pool cleaning if it's too hard to separate them for you."
"You can't decide that!" Puck said, his voice rising as he jumped to his feet.
"As long as you're here, under my roof, my kid, I can," Burt said.
"Then maybe I shouldn't be here," Puck said angrily.
"You're going to put sex and money over family?" Burt asked.
"No!" Puck ran his hand roughly over his Mohawk. "I don't know. I'm trying to take care of my family."
"Well, I'm trying to take care of you," Burt said. "You don’t need to sell yourself for money. Kid, I hate that you ever thought you did. But you have a year round job now. You want to keep the pool cleaning business going, fine, I admire that. I admire that you still want to help out that lady and the baby. You're a good kid. But I will not let you continue this. You want extra money, you get more hours from me or you pick up another job. Deliver newspapers or something."
"I don't think they have that job anymore," Puck said, forehead furrowing.
"Don't be a smartass, you know what I mean," Burt said. "Are you hearing me?"
"You want me to quit, I hear you."
"I want you to have enough respect for yourself to see that you have better options," Burt corrected him.
Puck frowned.
“You want to stay out of juvy, right?” Burt asked.
“Damn straight,” Puck said.
“I want you to stay out, too. Do you remember what I said I’d have to do if you kept up the kind of behavior that would land you back in there?”
Puck’s eyes widened. “Oh, hell, no.”
“This is serious, kid. I don’t know how to get that through to you. We agreed, we are keeping you out of jail. I'm keeping up my end of the bargain here." Burt looked at him. "That's why I'm spanking you with the belt today, and if I hear that you've continued the rewards program after this, I will do it again. Every time you have sex with one of your customers illegally, you will get the belt. And Noah, I will hear about it. Do you understand?"
"No!"
"Do you get that having sex for money is illegal?" Burt asked.
"It's not like that," Puck protested.
"Do you get extra money after you've had sex with them? Yes or no."
"Yes," Puck said after a pause.
"Then that's it," Burt said. "That simple. You've been breaking the law, willfully. You're not the only one, but right now, I'm dealing with you, not your customers. I need you to take your pants and boxers down and bend over your bed." He unbuckled his belt and started to pull it off.
Puck couldn't help staring as the belt slid through the loops. He didn't know what he felt more - guilt that he'd disappointed Burt, upset that he was losing his easy money, or fucking terrified of the belt that was now in Burt's hand.
"Come on, Noah," Burt said. "You need to get yourself into position."
Puck slowly reached for the button of his shorts and undid it. He turned around, facing the bed, and shoved them down. He leaned over, resting on his elbows.
"Good," Burt said, stepping next to him. He rested his hand on Puck's back. "I want you to count them, Noah. It'll help, okay?"
Puck nodded and fisted the blanket in his hands. He barely had time to take a deep breath before he heard the whoosh of the belt through the air. It landed with a crack on his ass and it was half a second later that he felt it.
"Oh, fuck," he gasped, convinced a stripe of fire had just lit up on his backside. His back arched as he tried to move away, but Burt gently pressed him back into place.
"That's not a number, Noah," Burt reminded him.
"One."
"Good," Burt said and Puck heard the second whistle.
He jerked forward when it landed. "Two," he said, trying not to whimper or let his hands fly back to protect himself.
The next searing stroke made him kick out. He wrapped one ankle around the other, squeezing them just as tightly as his fists. "Three."
The next two came quickly and the pain blazed. "Four, five," he gasped out, burying his hot face in the blanket. He'd thought his ass hurt when Burt spanked him, but this was a whole new level. The belt bit into his skin again and he let out a sob as he knees bent. "Six." He slowly straightened himself again.
The pain continued to build as Burt switched sides and landed the next stripe from Puck's left. "Se-seven," Puck hissed, grateful to have something to focus on besides the burning in his ass. The next one fell just below the last and Puck's head jerked again. "Eight." He wiggled around, trying to relieve some of the pain.
"Two more, Noah," Burt said. He rested his hand on Puck's quivering back.
Puck's face was wet as he took in another deep, shuddering breath and nodded. The belt landed with a snap and Puck groaned loudly as his hips bucked. "Ni-ine," he said, his voice high and hitching.
One last whoosh and thud and Puck let himself fall flat on the bed. "Ten," he wailed. He reached back and grabbed at his red hot ass, flinching.
He felt the bed dip down as Burt sat down next to him and rubbed his back gently while he cried.
"We're almost done, Noah," Burt said, patting his back.
"Almost?" Puck repeated, wiping at his face.
"Come up here," Burt said, and lifted him over his lap. Puck's backside was red, some lines from the belt visible, but he didn't see any purple spots that would mean bad bruising.
"Noah, you said there was nothing wrong with what you've done, but you hid it from me anyway. That should have been your clue. If you're doing something that you wouldn't tell me about, or Carole or your grandmother, stop and think about if you should be doing it at all." He lifted his hand and without warning, swatted Puck's thigh.
Puck yelped in shock. "No, no, please! Not more," he cried, past caring what he sounded like as his tears started to fall again.
Burt swatted again, enough to sting but nothing like normal. "I want this to be completely clear to you," he said, slapping again as Puck bit his lip to choke back a whimper. "You are a good kid, Noah, but you don't think." Another smack. "You are smart and capable and don't need to pull these stupid stunts for money or attention or anything. You're so much better than that." He landed one last smack.
"Now you're done, Noah, I promise."
Puck let himself go limp over Burt's lap, hiding his face in his hands as he cried. Burt rubbed his back again, letting him get it all out. When Puck had calmed down to shuddery breaths, Burt helped him stand up.
"Come here, kid," Burt said after Puck had gotten his shorts back up. He pulled Puck into a hug, squeezing him tightly. Puck rested his head on Burt's shoulder, grateful for the support. He felt exhausted, sore and drained. It was nice to just relax against him, and Burt let him.
"Noah, you know I consider you my son now," Burt said. "That's why I want you to understand that I just want to keep you safe. Now, and later when you're on your own, I want you to be a man you can be proud of. Do you get why I punished you today?"
"You think that -" He broke off as Burt took a step back and shook his head. "No." He thought back to what Burt had said earlier. "I don't think they were taking advantage of me," he said finally. "I liked the money. I never thought of it as being a whore. But I don't want to go back to juvy, or jail, or anything like that."
"Well, that's progress," Burt said. He sounded sad and Puck looked at him, confused.
"I'm going to stop," Puck said. "I mean, you're right, I guess, it was illegal, and I said I'd stop doing that kind of thing. And if Ms. C wouldn't want money stolen from an ATM for Beth, she probably wouldn't want this money, either."
"Good thinking," Burt said. "So we're clear now?"
"Yeah," Puck said. "I get it. I still want to do the pool cleaning, though."
"That's fine," Burt said. "Kurt's bringing Blaine over for dinner, but you're excused if you want. Get your homework done, okay? Finals are coming up." He clapped Puck on the shoulder and headed downstairs.
***
When Kurt and Blaine came home an hour later, Burt pulled him aside.
"Did you know what Noah's reward program was?" he asked.
Kurt bit his lip. "I had a pretty good idea," he admitted. "Did you talk to him about it?"
"I did. Kurt, why didn't you tell me?"
"Didn't you wonder about the overhead conversations," Kurt asked. "It took me weeks to get you to hear everything. I couldn't tell you, it felt wrong. But if you heard about it, then that was something else entirely."
Burt shook his head. "You're taking to this brother thing too easily," he said. "All right, mastermind. I've got a task for you. Any ideas on how we can find out who these customers were?"
"I thought you'd never ask," Kurt said. He pulled out his iPhone and tapped the screen a few times. "I e-mailed you the list. I don't know if it's complete, but it's what I've been able to figure out. What are you doing to do? Some well placed rumors?"
"I think that's Carole's plan," Burt said. "Me, I'm going to call them and tell them what happens when you mess with a Hummel."