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In all your past relationships and friendships you always seeked especially two things: respect and honesty. And in Giorno you found both of them.
People were always surprised by how similar you were, in your mature and careful behaviour. How you carefully studied others, in order to know how to behave. Sometimes, people who didn’t know you thought you were just a fake person, ignoring how you were almost brutally honest with each other and your friends. Your behaviour wasn’t a fake one, but more a self-defence system.
In Giorno you found someone who could understand you for real. He knew the struggle of keeping just for himself a reply, he knew how heavy and poisonous were the anger and frustration you had to keep inside, again and again, ‘cause you “were in no position to properly reply”. He was just wholeheartedly grateful that your parents never did to you what his stepfather did to him. You were the last person in the world to deserve this and, oh god, in case he would have liked to have a “talk” with your parents.
That’s why he always did his best to make you feel comfortable to talk with him about everything and to reply to him as you liked. With you he felt understood and at ease; he could, for once, lower his walls and not think about every reaction, every word and action. It was… freedom. And he wanted you to feel the same.
Together, you made so many steps forward. Together, you found that respect and honesty, deep and sincere, you both had searched for so long. You were not just partners, but also best friends, allies, supporters. Thanks to your developed ability to read others’ emotions, you both could tell immediately if the other was upset and act consequently. That was what happened also that day. The right moment you entered home, Giorno needed just a look to see you were deeply upset.
After quickly checking his mental agenda, he grimaced. Oh… you said that you wanted to go to see your parents, that day. Your relationship with them, well… wasn’t the best of the world, but, from what you’ve said, it had improved considerably in the last years. However, some issues were still ongoing and your face said that those issues had resurfaced, during your visit.
He didn’t ask you how you were feeling. He didn’t fake ignorance or a smile, acting as it was all fine. He got up, leaving back every paper, and walked straight to you, simply hugging you, tightly, safely. His fingers gently rubbed your scalp, as you sank in his embrace, sighing in relief. No matter how bad the day had been, Giorno’s hugs had the power to lighten at least a bit the weight on your heart… they tasted like home.
“Want to talk about it?” he asked, kissing your temple. You sighed, closing your eyes, relishing a moment more in his warmth, before nodding. He led you to the couch, gently making you sit down, and then put on the stove some water for a good cup of tea.
After returning to you, he kissed your forehead, sitting near you and watching you with calm eyes, giving you the time to recollect your ideas. For long seconds just the soft noise of the boiling water kept breaking the silence in the room.
“My mother did it again.” you admitted, sighing. Giorno closed his eyes for a second. Of course…
“What did she say?” you huffed, fidgeting, before Giorno’s slender fingers came in the way, gently holding yours.
“The usual. She used me to rant about herself and inflate her ego. I had forgotten about one of my aunts’ birthday, not even one of my closest aunts, and I apologized for my bad memory. And she? She went on ranting about how forgetful I am, how instead she always had such a sharp mind when she was young… let’s say, how in general she was better than me in everything when she was my age.” you took a deep breath, after that long tirade, feeling empty. Giorno’s hands never left yours, not even for a second.
“And what do you think about what she said?” he asked, quietly. You shifted a bit, pouting, feeling at unease. What did you think about it…
“Well, maybe she was right. And, like, after that I told her to stop this, to inflate her ego using me to elevate herself and she seemed… hurt for real? And… and maybe I am the wrong one, not her, and that, well… maybe I’ll never be good enough to be at the same level as everyone else. Maybe I’m just too screwed up to be saved.” you muttered, bitterly. You heard Giorno shifting and immediately after you found his face in your vision range. His eyes were serious, as his expression, and it made him look older than his age.
“Don’t ever say it. You are enough, you are more than enough. Do you know how much they hurt you? And look at you. Look at how strong you are. Look at how gentle and sweet and wonderful you are. What you lived could have turned you into a monster, but it didn’t happen. Your will has been stronger and you emerged from that darkness. And even today you still work on yourself ‘cause you want to be a better person. I am so, so proud of you.” he said, with utter sincerity, gently stroking your cheeks. You blinked more times, to keep back few traitorous tears, before taking a deep breath. Enough…?
“But if I’m enough, if I’m… strong, as you said, then… why do I feel like this?- Giorno’s heart broke, hearing how lost your voice sounded. -Why do I feel so small, why her words always make me shrink down? It’s like… it’s like I’ve done not even one step forward. It’s like I’m still that scared child who learned to lie and read emotions in order not to be yelled at. I hadn’t grown.” you concluded, slumping on the back of the couch, your head low. It was so… you hadn’t grown. All those steps forward, all those progresses… all lost in a snap. What kind of progresses those had been, if they crumbled down at the first difficult? You wanted to cry, but your eyes were dry. Even they didn’t want to cooperate, it seemed…
“I have to disagree.” Giorno’s voice was strong and determined, as he gently picked your head up, his fingers under your chin, to stop you from lowering it again. His turquoise eyes stared into yours, firm, serious, but also so gentle, so understanding. He could understand at heart what you were feeling right now… You were similar, all in all. You both, under the shield you had to build to protect your heart, were scared of the world. But, oh… since the moment he met you, Giorno felt like the world wasn’t so scaring anymore. With you it was all better… and maybe it was worth to open up to the world. As long as he was with you, the world was a less scaring place.
“You’re just having a small setback. It’s normal, you’re still healing… there’s nothing bad in it. But this doesn’t delete anything good you have done in this period, it doesn’t delete your progresses. Even if now you feel small and not worthy… you aren’t. I can promise you, you absolutely aren’t unworthy and not enough. I know it hurts, now, that you don’t feel motivated to go on… but please, don’t let this stop you. You’re not alone, now… we’ll face it together, as we always did, ok? Those words will fade, as the pain they gave you. New, positive things will replace this pain. We’ll build new memories, together… we’ll build a happy life, as I promised you. It will be better, tesoro.” he gently pressed his forehead on yours, staring in your eyes. A faint, sincere smile colored his lips and soon was matched by one on yours. You couldn’t doubt Giorno, when he was speaking with such a heartbreaking sincerity. You placed your hands on his ones, softly stroking their back and relishing in their warmth, feeling protected, as even your self-doubt couldn’t do anything against Giorno’s light.
You sighed, feeling the weight on your heart lighter, at least a bit. All in all… if Giorno, the person who more than anyone else understood you at heart, thought that you could do it, that you were strong and worth enough to achieve the happiness you deserve, then… then maybe it was so. Giorno wouldn’t ever have lied to you, even if the truth he had to say was ugly and painful. He wasn’t the type. Everything he said to you was exactly what he thought. And, well… this meant that he really thought what was saying to you.
His words slowly sank in you, as small drops of light, slowly chasing away the dark gloominess that had darkened everything you were seeing. You were enough. You were worth it. You will have make through it. You were strong. And you weren’t alone.
“Thank you, Gio.” your smile was more confident, now, and it made Giorno’s heart flip in happiness. He smiled back at you, one of his rare but, oh, so beautiful full bright smiles, and softly kissed you.
“I’m proud of you.” he repeated, sweetly, before getting up and going to take off the stove the kettle.
“Would you like a cup of tea?” you smiled, turning to watch him, leaning on the back of the couch. A rush of affection ran into your veins, as you were watching his elegant profile, focused on the tea bags and hot water, his golden hair… your Giorno, who made so many steps forward, just as you. He was proud of you, but you were so, so proud of him too, of all the progresses he managed to do in that period.
“I’d love it.” you fondly smiled at him, waiting for him. He was right… together you could do it.
Together you were unstoppable.