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When Marinette was twelve they didn't really have many friends. They usually sat alone at lunch. It was just them and their lunch. Sometimes after eating lunch they'd go to the library. Find a table in the back and hunch down while trying to draw a dress that didn't look like trash. Other times they'd go home, upstairs in their room where they'd try to catch a nap.
No, they didn't really have a lot of friends. Everyone just had their own partner, they guessed. And they simply hadn't found their's yet. Maybe that's why Marinette loved art. No one really cared beyond what you've created. People would like it, a few compliments, then they would go to other subjects.
And, to be quite honest, Marinette didn't really know what they'd do if they had friends. They didn't know if they would've told them right off the bat or wait. Maybe both, depending on who would spend time with them.
No, Marinette didn't have a lot of friends.
*
When they first transformed, Marinette had to stifle a sob at how tight the uniform is.
*
"Hey, bug." Chat dropped down to them on the ledge, going to a sitting position with his leg brushing theirs. "You doing okay?"
Ladybug shrugged, letting out a sigh. With a grunt, they leaned forward, covering their face with their hands, pretending not to notice how Chat's breath hitched and body tensed as they did. "I had a meltdown thing yesterday when I got home."
Chat's voice was hesitant. "Was it because of the tourists calling you by. . ."
Ladybug nodded, still covering their face. Chat pulled them closer, hugging them as they slightly shaked. "Sometimes I wish I didn't say Ladybug. I don't think I like being Ladybug. Everyone just. . . Chat, we literally have skin-tight suits. I don't-"
They broke off as their voice cracked.
Chat rested his head on theirs. It made him sad to see his partner like this. "If the suit's bothering you, maybe we can start wearing stuff over them? Like jackets or hoodies or something."
Ladybug sniffed. "Thanks, Chat." They gave a wet laugh. "Isn't it funny how I'm more out as a superhero than my civilian self?"
Chat furrowed his eyebrows. "You're not out to your friends?"
Ladybug shook their head. "Never really had any before this year, and I don't want to scare them off, and I'm out as Ladybug so they'd probably think I'm just copying, and so. . . yeah, not a lot of friends, I guess."
He pulled away so they were looking at each other. "I'd be happy to be friends you." He raised his fist in a parody of their after battle fist pump.
Ladybug looked at the hand. (When Marinette was twelve they didn't really have many-) They raised their own and met his, faintly whispering, "Pound it."
They looked back up at Chat as he grinned. A smile slowly started to spread on their face.
*
Chat landed beside the statue, grinning and striking poses for the cameras and people cheering.
The man next to him chewed on a lollipop as he stuck out a hand. "Hi, I'm Theo. I was the one who created the statue. It's an honor."
Chat turned to him and shook the hand, grinning. "Nice to meet you, Theo. Great statue." The superhero turned his gaze to said statue, Theo doing the same. Chat's face turned thoughtful as he took in the two figures. Was it just him or did Ladybug's copy look more. . . feminine?
The thoughtful face turned into a frown as Chat saw the text. To the superheroine and superhero of Paris.
He nudged Theo. "Hey, buddy. I think you got the text wrong."
*
One of the Chat Noirs turned to the other, sneering. "She doesn't deserve you, you alley-ca-"
Their yoyo wrapped around them before he finished his sentence, making him topple to the ground. The real Chat Noir moved so he was standing above him. "You know what? You're right; I don't deserve them. But you don't even deserve to be in the same city as them."
*
Ladybug fingered a lock of hair. "Thinking of growing it out," they said. "I thought it would help. It does but at the same time, it's not me. Y'know?"
Chat Noir grinned. "Wouldn't mind seeing you with long hair." He frowned. "Not that I would be the one who gives you permission, because, like-nevermind, you do you, bug."
"Kinda just want to keep it short since I don't want my parents to be even more confused. Like, they're trying but yesterday I was trying to explain to my mom on some trans stuff about coming out to my family and she was like 'I don't see why they need to know until you bring a significant other home' and I was like, 'no, Mom, I meant like about my gender' and she kept going back to my sexuality. And then one thing led to another and I spent a few hours crying in my room." They laughed bitterly at the end.
*
Marinette fumbled with their phone. The bathroom tiles felt cold against their skin, and they muffled another sob. Every time their torso moved it brought a sense of wrongness, an unending mantra of too heavy, too heavy, not flat, get it off, tear it off.
They couldn't move, they couldn't fucking move. Their fingers finally found the contact and they jerkily typed.
meltdown. talk to me?
Marinette held their breath. A few seconds, then they typed: won't talk back, ill type tho
They didn't realize they were mouthing the word 'please' and holding their breath until the screen lit up and all that breath exited them in a sob.
"Hello? Bugaboo?"
hi, they typed after muting their mic.
"Alright," Chat Noir said. "So am I talking about anything? Y for yes, N for no."
y
"Gotcha." A moment of static that Marinette interpreted as a sigh, then, "So today I was talking to a friend, well multiple friends but I only knew one of them well so I'll say one friend, and we were all talking about us. Like, Chat Noir and Ladybug us. Of course, I and another immediately went on about how you're the greatest, and then the other two went to my defense, which was amazing.
"A few minutes of that, and Bug, you'll never believe it, a girl in my class stood up to her bully! Well, technically I'm friends with her bully but-"
dude?
"Yeah, well she, the bully, was my only friend for a long time, but yeah I'll admit she's not that good of a person."
that's how mafia works
"Yeah right. Anyway how was your day?"
Marinette stared at the phone. They had it on low volume so Tikki wouldn't wake up, but now they felt like screaming. Or crying.
tried to go get some cookies, fell down the stairs, now my side hurts and I feel over sensitive.
Chat sucked in a breath. "Oof. Sucks. Yeah, don't know anything that would really help. Does the five things you see, etc. work?"
not for me. just keep talking
"Okay. It's gonna be okay. You know that, right bugaboo?"
*
"Hey, Marinette!"
Oh. Okay. This was really gonna happen. Marinette turned to the blond, smiling while their ears flushed. "Hey. . . Hey Adrikins-er, I mean Adrilens. Adriens. Adrien! Hey Adrien!" They awkwardly finger-gunned at him while smiling. Awkwardly.
One day at a time.