Archive of Our Own ^beta

When he was searching for a place to live in, Jimin definitely didn’t expect something like this once he saw the notice.

Honestly, he was looking for anything at this point, desperate to get away from his house that he felt trapped in, from the family that stopped being a normal family ages ago. He just wanted to get away. 

Finding a flat in Seoul with a limited budget never sounded like an easy task and he knew it beforehand, but being “not easy” quickly turned out to be an understatement. A huge one.

Before Jungkook saved him, quite literally, sending him a link with “try this one, hyung <3” he was on the verge of giving up but then, he had nowhere else to go and staying in Busan was just not an option. Jimin grew so desperate at this point that he was, quite seriously, considering leaving the country but that would not work for obvious reasons.

The place looked quite nice on the pictures put online, from what he could make of them but even if it didn’t, as long as it wasn’t expensive, he was up for it. The owner, a very nice old lady (what kind of old ladies own apartments in Seoul, though?) kindly informed him that he will have a flatmate, which was something Jimin was prepared for - he once tried to look for a place to live on his own, but gave up as soon as he started. 

The other boy was supposed to be a photography major his age and the owner even gave Jimin his phone number, which he decided not to use before moving in unless completely necessary. 

Now, if he thought the flat looked nice on pictures, he wasn’t prepared for the real thing. For everyone else it wouldn’t probably be anything special, but Jimin is amazed at how bright it is. Even though back in Busan they lived in a house, not an apartment, this one seems to be so spacious and Jimin finally feels like he can breathe for the first time in years.

The flat isn’t even that big and after living in a house for years maybe he should feel trapped, but he doesn’t, it’s the opposite - he can ultimately feel more free than he’s ever been before.

__________

When his supposed flatmate comes back home, Jimin freezes where he’s standing in the kitchen. Of course he knew the moment would eventually come, and from what the owner of the flat have told him he’s a nice person, Jimin simply doesn’t feel ready. He got the boy’s phone number from the owner, yet never gathered up the courage to actually do anything about it and he was praying to gods above that the lovely lady that happens to be the owner of the flat doesn’t give the man his number.

Apparently, she didn’t. That, or the other simply decided to ignore it.

It’s not like he doesn’t want to get to know the other - after all, they’re going to spend the next year (at least) sharing a flat, sleeping in the rooms next to each other.

But meeting people means introductions and introductions mean, in most cases, at least handshakes.

There are, of course, people out there who refuse to touch strangers until they get to know them better just in case they turn out to be actual soulmates - knowing that someone you just met is also someone you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with might be a bit awkward at first. But since there are people who refuse to touch strangers, there are also those who drape themselves all over the people they just meet, apparently not being familiar with the concept of personal space. 

Jimin, however, isn’t any of them. He simply doesn’t want to find his soulmate, ever. 

Which, of course, didn’t stop kids back in Busan from “experimenting”. Word around the school spread quickly and since young people are usually very eager to finally meet the one they’re destined for, the one person that didn’t feel this way was quite a sensation.

At some point he got used to people approaching him just to try to touch him, of fleeting touches of giggling girls in the hallways who probably wished, or at least thought, they are the one (and from his reliable source of information in the form of one Jeon Jungkook he knows there were people who wished to be his soulmates, just like there were people wishing they were Jungkook’s). 

No one seemed to care about how disturbed by that Jimin was, none of his teachers really paid attention to it. Either that, or they used it as an occasion to tell him how he should ‘consider it’. 

The only person that didn’t judge him and his decisions was his dance teacher, and the practice room was where Jimin found his peace. No one disturbed him there, no one dared to and it was there that he was free from all ‘isn’t it weird?’ and ‘he’ll get over it eventually’ and the giggles and the touches that he hated more than anything. All the other kids in the dance group respected his wish not to be touched under any circumstances and back then, it was all Jimin needed.

It got better with time, just as he got used to it. After all, kids eventually grew up and slowly but surely started leaving him alone. They forgot about him like they forget about gossip that spreads for a week most, before disappearing, and Jimin was beyond happy.

But this? This is completely new to him and he has nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. It all seemed so much easier when he imagined it, but now that he actually has to meet his flatmate he’s so scared he has to put down the mug he’s holding because his hands are shaking so much. It’s pathetic.

When the boy comes from around the corner and enters the kitchen, Jimin breathes out in relief because the boy has color in his eyes which means he’s found his soulmate. Which also means Jimin is not going to be bothered by him on this particular subject, unless they decide to talk about it, which, one day, he will have to, but not today.

Besides this one fact, he’s so awfully handsome Jimin briefly wonders what on earth did he do in the previous life to get a face like this in this one because, seriously? 

The boy grins and Jimin tries his best not to do the same.

“You’re my new flatmate, right?”

Jimin nods hesitantly, and the color-eyed boy's grin somehow grows even wider. 

"You have pink hair” he says after a moment and well, this is definitely not what Jimin expected. “That’s so cool. I’m Kim Taehyung, nice to meet you.”

__________

Talking to Taehyung turns out to be surprisingly easy and all the nervousness Jimin felt before disappears almost instantly. He didn’t force Jimin to shake his hand like most people do and he was extremely thankful for that. Just like the owner said, they’re the same age and it makes the conversation flow easily. They talk about their passions and when Taehyung tells Jimin all about his photos, the other can see how much he loves what he’s doing by the way his eyes shine with excitement. He tells him about living back in Daegu, about how one of his friends from back there lives in Seoul too. Jimin, in return, tells him about his dance group back in Busan, about Jungkook and his brother Jihyun that he left in his hometown but that want to join him in Seoul next year, when they go to university. Before he realises, it’s already late and he hasn’t even started unpacking his things. Taehyung offers his help, but he kindly refuses. 

The first few days are a bit awkward. 

Even if Taehyung turned out to be nice the first day, it’s still the first time Jimin’s living with someone other than his family. It’s not that much of a difference technically, but in reality, it is.

Jimin is not used to living with someone he barely knows and even if he knows that this someone already has his soulmate (who Taehyung still has to tell him about), it doesn’t ease his nerves. Even though Taehyung is, so far, the nicest person he’s ever met (maybe except for Jungkook, but Jungkook isn’t here now), Jimin still feels awkward running into him in the kitchen, passing his room on the way to the bathroom or hearing him arrive in the house - and he can definitely see that the other feels the same way, even if he’s trying to be kind. 

One time, he accidentally drops a mug full of coffee just because he doesn’t expect Taehyung to be right behind him. Nothing happens to any of them, but he feels so embarrassed he wishes the ground could just… swallow him whole.

The first week, besides that one accident, passes rather calmly and Jimin spends most of it getting to know the area he’s living in now, walking around the campus even though his classes don’t start until next week. He barely spends the time in their shared apartment anyway.

It all goes to hell on a Saturday which he decided to spend at home, with Taehyung leaving sometime afternoon and arriving around nine, drunk out of his mind.

“JIMIN” he yells, stumbling into the room where Jimin’s reading a book, completely focused, not even having heard the door opening. The pink-haired boy jumps in surprise and almost falls off the bed. 

The room he now lives in, although a bit blank at first, as if no one’s ever lived in it before, now feels like home that Jimin feels he never had, with fairy lights above the bed and three pictures hanging above his desk - one of him and Jihyun, smiling brightly at the camera, one of him and Jungkook at the practice hall, courtesy of Jihyun. The last one, the one he likes the most, was of him, staring in surprise at the camera with a birthday cake he wasn’t expecting in his hands.

But now, all this peace and coziness is being violated by one very loud Kim Taehyung that wasn’t here just seconds ago.

“Taehyung, what the hell.”

It’s when the boy trips and almost falls, trying to get closer to Jimin, that he realises and chuckles.

“You’re drunk?”

“Just a biiit” Taehyung rolls his eyes while he steps to the middle of Jimin’s tiny room. “Can I sit somewhere?”

He’s already sitting on the chair before Jimin gets to answer. He and Taehyung haven’t talked much, except for the first day when they met, but he decides that must be the alcohol acting.

“I’m sorry I was so awkward” Taehyung murmurs, but Jimin shakes his head immediately.

“We’re basically strangers, it will take some time before we’re comfortable with each other” he hesitates before he adds: “but thank you for trying.”

Taehyung grins before he continues talking.

“I went out with my friends, you have to meet them! There’s Yoongi from Daegu, I’ve told you about him, and his soulmate Namjoon…” Jimin swallows at the mention of soulmates, a topic they haven’t breached yet but will have to eventually if he wants to be completely honest with his flatmate “... Namjoon’s friend, Jin, who happens to be my soulmate!” Taehyung laughs at that, like he’s just said something incredibly funny, but Jimin starts to feel sick. “And there’s Hoseok! He’s Yoongi’s friend, they’re actually flatmates. He hasn’t found his soulmate yet, though.”

Jimin really wants to interrupt, to ask Taehyung to stop talking for a second because while he appreciates him trying to bring Jimin into his group of friends, the topic of soulmates makes him sick. 

“Namjoon and Yoongi ran into each other at a cafe last year and boom, and then they introduced me to Jin and he turned out to be my soulmate, isn’t that amazing? How is that even possible?” Taehyung genuinely looks like he’s considering the possibility of it all happening, while Jimin nods, trying to keep up a smile. “He’s the best person in the world, you know, before all that I didn’t really believe in all the stories about soulmates, how the world isn’t the same once you meet them, blah blah blah, but it’s really like that and…”

“Taehyung” Jimin finally says before he can stop himself, his voice cracking. “Please, stop.”

Taehyung stops talking mid-sentence and turns around to look at Jimin properly, and once he realises that the pink-haired is almost crying, he freezes.

“Jimin? What…?”

But Jimin just shakes his head in response, trying to stop himself from crying. He’s done this hundreds of times, why is it now that he’s reacting this way? He’s heard people talking about their soulmates, bragging about them, over and over again until the word itself made him feel sick and he learned long ago not to cry, so why is he crying now?

Taehyung moves a bit closer to him, obviously considering whether to hug him or leave him alone, and Jimin himself isn’t sure which one would be better. 

It doesn’t take long for Taehyung to stand up, obviously deciding to leave him alone.

“You… don’t have to tell me what happened, if you don’t want to” the brown-haired boy says, looking completely lost. “But if you want to talk, I’ll be…”

“Please, stay.”

As soon as the words leave Jimin’s mouth, he regrets them. He shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t tell anyone, especially not his flatmate who he’s going to be living with for the next year, who was just being nice and tried to get rid of the awkward atmosphere, but then, it’s been so long since he let himself cry, since he’s told someone what happened to him, he decides to just fuck it and tell Taehyung everything, hoping that the other is drunk enough not to remember it the next morning, but even if he does, what about it?

Taehyung sits again, but it’s the bed he chooses this time, maintaining a distance that makes Jimin feel safe, yet not overwhelmed. 

“It happened when I was just a kid,” Jimin says, almost whispers really, and he’s not sure if the other can hear him, but that’s not the point right now - he just needs to get it off his chest. “Me, my mom and my brother, Jihyun, I told you about him” he briefly looks at Taehyung who confirms his words with a nod, meaning that, well, he can hear him. “We were waiting for my dad to come back from some kind of trip, honestly I don’t remember it that well. I…” he sniffs, even though no tear has yet left his eyes. “I was in the kitchen when Jihyun asked mom what happened to her eyes, why are they that dark” at that, Taehyung inhales sharply, obviously understanding what’s to come next.  “I… I don’t think he knew what it meant, but we both did and…”

Before Jimin can finish, however, Taehyung jumps forward and next thing he knows, he’s being hugged by the other. While his first reaction is to freeze up instantly, he relaxes seconds later because he already knows Taehyung has a soulmate and nothing can happen to him. 

“I don’t remember much of what happened after that” he finally says, surprised to find out that there are no tears in his eyes anymore and his voice is more or less stable. “But my mom… she hasn’t been the same ever since and even though we were just kids, we had to grow up almost instantly.”

“Are you mad at her?”

The question doesn’t surprise Jimin - the only two other people he’s told about this also asked it. He supposes he could be mad at his mother for abandoning them like that, always being right there but yet staying unreachable, but he could never bring himself to it, unlike Jihyun.

“No” he says and he means it. “No, I’m not mad. It’s not her fault. She… she really loved dad, they met when they were just children and it’s not surprising that it changed her. We tried everything we could to help her, doctors, therapists, meetings but nothing worked. She still wakes up every morning, goes to work, goes back home but after that it’s like… she’s not even there.”

Taehyung just sighs at that, trying to hug Jimin even more tightly even if it’s barely possible at this point and Jimin feels himself start to shake because this is it, here comes the worst part that nobody ever understand.

“It’s just… I don’t want to end up like her, you know? She was an amazing person, but it’s gone now and there’s nothing that could bring her back. I don’t want a life like that and if it means I have to spend it alone, so be it.”

__________

When Jimin wakes up the next morning, it’s with a sleeping Taehyung curled up by his side. He barely remembers what happened after he’s told his story, except for a lot of crying and Taehyung telling him how it’s all going to be okay, how it’s completely okay that he feels this way and Jimin feels… relieved. 

He gets up, trying his best not to wake up his flatmate and goes straight to the kitchen to drink some water and bring some for Taehyung who, most likely, is about to wake up with a huge hungover. 

He’s grateful. 

Never in his wildest dreams would he imagine that the first person he gets to meet in Seoul would be so supportive, so understanding of his situation and it’s like the pieces of his life that fell apart when he lost his father are slowly coming together. 

It’s like a new beginning for him and he’s living the past himself behind.

__________

The first two weeks of classes go in a blur. It’s full of getting lost at the campus, getting to know new people (and politely telling them not to touch him), getting to know his way around. So far, it’s nice.

He’s been trying to find a job for a while now, just in case because living in Seoul is expensive and even if he wanted, needed to come back to Busan, he wouldn’t be able to do it. He never wanted to go back there, leaving Busan was a new beginning for him, a beginning of something so good he wouldn’t be able to let it go.

He didn’t want to go back to the horror that his family home was, to the point where he stopped calling it home years ago, not even his brother being able to help. The mere thought of coming back makes him freeze before it changes into pure panic. 

He, at one point, had a dream of returning to Busan, waking up screaming because of how terrifying the thought of it was. He just dreamt of sitting in a train - but he wasn’t able to move and, as the train got further from Seoul, everything became darker and darker until Jimin couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe. Taehyung had to hear him because seconds later, he was already being hugged as he sobbed into his friend’s arm. 

He also offered to talk to the manager of the library he found a job in since he’s been in Seoul for a while now, and Jimin keeps it at the back of his head. Ever since their talk (or, well, Jimin’s rambling) about soulmates something changed, although he isn’t exactly sure what. They’re much closer now. They haven’t really talked about that night, not that much at least, but Jimin knows that Taehyung remembers and, more importantly, accepts what he’s heard - and he couldn’t be more grateful. 

It’s as he’s making his way through campus, eyes fixed on his phone with job offers open on it, that he bumps into someone. He trips over his own feet trying to get his balance and realizes someone just grabbed his arms.

No.

When he finally looks up, there’s a man in glasses staring at him with concern clear in his eyes but the only thing Jimin can see is the fact that one of his eyes is brown.

No way.

Before he can even realize, Jimin starts shaking because this did not just happen. He looks at his feet, too scared to stare back at the stranger. He’s been trying so hard for so many years, only to bump into a stranger because he was too damn stupid to look around while walking and…

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, are you okay? I’m…”

“No” Jimin says, realizes he can barely speak with how terrified he is. He wiggles a little, trying to free himself from the stranger’s hold, but it’s not working at all.

“Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m…” he’s too scared to look up, keeps staring at his feet instead because he’s not ready, he can never be ready for that and why wasn’t he paying attention . “Please let go of me.”

“Are you sure you’re okay, I…”

“Let go of me!”

The stranger stops holding him even before Jimin can register that he just, in fact, yelled at him and can this get any worse? He didn’t do anything wrong, it’s all Jimin’s fault and now he will have to live with the consequences. 

He takes a deep breath and looks up, thinking about how he’s going to explain his behavior when he realises that nothing changed. It’s still one of the man’s eyes that’s blooming with color (and staring at him with curiosity mixed with fear, at the moment).

“Wait…” he says, not even trying to hide how surprised he is and before he can control what he’s doing, he pokes the stranger in the chest.

What the fuck Park Jimin. 

“Oh my god I’m so sorry” he blurts out once his brain catches up with his actions, takes a step back and feels the tears he didn’t know were there streaming down his cheek. “Your eye- it’s, it’s brown and I thought…”

Before he can finish, the stranger chuckles. 

“You’re not the first one to think that,” he says with a smile so comforting that Jimin feels his nervousness disappearing instantly. It isn’t until he wipes his cheeks with the back of his hand that the tall stranger he just bumped into realizes that Jimin is, in fact, crying. “Are you…? What happened, are you sure you’re okay?”

Jimin lets out a relieved laugh. This isn’t his soulmate. He’s okay. He’ll be okay.

"I'm okay", Jimin repeats, this time out loud. The stranger laughs once again and fuck, he's about to do it. He's about to pull a fucking dad joke—

"And I'm Kim Namjoon. Nice to meet you."

No fucking way.

Jimin hesitates to introduce himself, still struggling with the whole making friends idea, but isn’t this what living in a new city, in a new place, starting your life all over again should be about? 

He’s been living his life trying to detach himself from everyone and he wasn’t, by any means, happy. Sure, it was safe and stable, the risk of finding his soulmate almost non-existent, but at what cost? This isn’t the life he wants to live now. 

“Park Jimin” he says with a smile. “I’m sorry I bumped into you and, well, I’m sorry for overreacting but…”

“Wait a second, YOU’RE Park Jimin?”

Since when do people know him around here? 

Jimin stares at the man, trying to remember whether they’ve met before, but honestly, that face? He sure would remember it. 

For god’s sake, Jimin, he has a soulmate .

“Um…” he finally says, staring at his hands instead of Namjoon’s face since at this point he’s blushing like an idiot for no reason at all. “Have we met before?”

Jimin can’t see it but can practically feel the stranger smiling and he has to fight the urge to run as far away as possible and never show up to the campus again.

“No, no we haven’t, I’m sorry. Are you by any chance Kim Taehyung’s roommate? I’m sorry if that isn’t you, I just realized you’re probably not the only Park Jimin with pink hair… now that I’m saying it I think Park Jimins with pink hair might not be that common after all, so…”

Jimin has to stop himself from laughing because the way Namjoon is stumbling for words is, in some stupid way, adorable. He looks up again instead, hoping to god that he’s not blushing like an idiot this time.

“No, don’t worry, that’s me. I didn’t realize you might be the Namjoon he was telling me about” he says with a shy smile, utterly confused as to what’s happening to him because he’s never had problems with talking to strangers before. Sure, it made him uncomfortable, but not this way and he doesn’t know what to do about it. 

Taehyung sure forgot to mention how good looking Namjoon is in real life, which is something they will definitely have a little chat about because mentioning the fact beforehand could have saved Jimin from completely embarrassing himself. 

“Can I buy you a coffee?”

Jimin blinks in utter disbelief because the universe has got to be messing with him at this point. It’s either the universe or just Taehyung pulling out some kind of elaborate prank. This can’t be happening. Not only did he just bump into positively the best-looking man he’s ever seen, embarrassed himself completely, but that man also turned out to be his flatmate’s friend, and now he’s getting invited for coffee? Something’s definitely not right.

“Um, I don’t want to be a burden” he finally says after a silence that was way too long for his liking. “I was on my way home anyway and…”

“It’s okay, really! I’m going to meet with Yoongi, Taehyung probably told you about him, and we would all meet one way or another at some point” Namjoon interrupts him before he can even finish the sentence. “Besides, I bumped into you, it’s only right that I buy you coffee now.”

This is ridiculous .

“No, really, it’s okay, I wasn’t watching where I’m going, it’s all my fault.”

“I wasn’t either.”

Jimin has to fight the urge to roll his eyes. 

__________

He loses, in the end, Namjoon weirdly persistent on buying him coffee, and even though he’s trying his best to refuse and straight-up run away, it doesn’t work. Namjoon has this weird way with words that kind of make you want to believe him, no matter what he says, which is how he ends up almost believing that it was Namjoon that crashed into him (although technically it doesn’t matter who did, Jimin just wanted to run away). 

He learns that Namjoon doesn’t actually study here, he attends a different university and studies philosophy , but he sometimes hangs around here since that’s where Yoongi studies. Yoongi. His soulmate, Jimin realizes, who he’s going to meet really soon. He still wonders what’s the deal with just one of Namjoon’s eyes being brown, but decides against asking. It’s not his business and, besides, he just met the man.

The coffee shop they enter is tiny but surprisingly cozy because of that, and Jimin already knows he’s going to come here more often. If he was nervous about meeting Yoongi who is Namjoon’s soulmate and Taehyung’s friend at the same time (double pressure), it disappeared almost instantly. The windows there are small, barely letting any sunlight in (not that there’s much of it in the middle of March), and there are little candles on each table, which makes the place weirdly intimate, even with all the people sitting inside. It’s much different from what Jimin’s used to, and he wonders how on earth did they discover this place.

That is until Namjoon leads him to the table (Jimin briefly wonders whether they come here often and if yes, whether it’s just the two of them or the whole group since he already knows Taehyung and his friends meet up quite often despite their hectic schedules. Do they always sit at the same table? He feels like he’s intruding).

The second they reach the table however, the nerves come back at full force once the person sitting there, a black-haired man, looks up. While Namjoon’s colored eye looks warm and brown and there’s something soothing about it, something that makes all your nervousness melt away, the man’s, who obviously must be Yoongi, the colored eye is icy blue and right now is pointed at Jimin with the look of vague disinterest. It makes the pink-haired freeze in his spot, not sure what to do next. That is until the cold eyes, one icy blue and one still devoid of color move from him to Namjoon standing right beside him, and something in them lights up.

For a brief second, Yoongi looks back at Jimin, this time clearly curious about what’s happening, before he looks back at Namjoon who snickers beside him. 

“Care to explain what the hell is going on?” he finally says, half amused and half something Jimin can’t identify, but Yoongi’s low voice makes him want to run away, fast. 

There’s something undeniably intimidating about him, but at the same time Yoongi looks soft, in some weird kind of way and Jimin has never been so confused in his entire life.

“Ran into him on campus on my way here, almost killed the poor kid, turns out he’s Park Jimin” before Yoongi can answer, confusion clear on his face, as if he’s about to ask who on earth is Park Jimin , the confusion turns into understanding just before Namjoon continues speaking. “Taehyung’s Jimin. His flatmate. You should’ve listened to him when he was telling us about him, hyung.”

Jimin feels a bit out of place, like he’s not here at all, but rather just observes the situation. He wouldn’t mind it at all, to be honest. 

Yoongi smiles and gets up from his seat to introduce himself and the pink-haired is pretty sure he’s about to die from a heart attack at a very young age. How is it possible for someone to have such a soft, gummy smile and not look weird at the same time? Jimin has no idea, but it's absolutely endearing.

Namjoon and Yoongi are easy to talk to. Even though they barely met, they make Jimin feel like he’s a part of all this and he never feels like he’s interrupting, even if the duo are soulmates. 

He tells them a bit about his life, not mentioning any of the heavy topics because if it’s meant to happen, they will find out someday anyway. Yoongi talks a bit about Daegu, how he met Taehyung there, but then he stops talking altogether, completely focused on something he was working on and lets Namjoon do the talking, only adding little comments from time to time when he feels the need to.

Jimin watches with fascination the way they act around each other, the way it almost feels like one isn’t complete without the other, like they’re one. They communicate without feeling the need to use any words, they just understand and it’s something Jimin has never seen before. Technically, he didn’t know many couples that were soulmates, so he never realised.

He finds himself thinking how much he’d want that.

If only .

Time passes quickly with Namjoon and Yoongi and before Jimin knows it, he already has to go, planning to be home a few hours back, the plan long forgotten in the middle of their conversations that he never wanted to end. 

He stands up, picking up his bag and smiles apologetically at the couple.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go now,” he says, a smile still on his lips. “I have some things to do, but…” he searches for the right words. “Thank you. For this. It was nice to spend some time with you.”

Yoongi and Namjoon both smile at him and Jimin leaves the coffee shop with two new numbers saved on his phone and hope blooming in his chest. 

When he enters the apartment sometime later, Taehyung is already sitting on his bed, looking like a kicked puppy.

“Tae?” Jimin asks, seriously concerned about what happened to his flatmate and ready to punch whoever made him sad. 

“So I’ve heard that you met Namjoon” his flatmate says and at this point, it’s clear that he’s just pretending to be sad, but Jimin decides to keep playing.

“Yes.”

“And you went for coffee.”

“That is correct.”

Taehyung looks utterly betrayed and Jimin has to stop himself from laughing and maintain a straight face.

“WITHOUT ME?”

And Jimin’s plan of not falling for it goes to hell because seconds later he’s laughing like an idiot at the ridiculous face that Taehyung, who looks annoyingly satisfied with himself. 

He does not expect, however, Taehyung jumping to his feet and running through the little space that is his room to attack Jimin with a hug, so he freezes at first, only to relax with a smile moments later. 

He has a flatmate that accepts him fully and two people he can call friends except for Jihyun and Jungkook who are back in Seoul.

He’s finally beginning to feel something close to being happy .

__________

The next morning, Jimin wakes up to voices talking quietly right outside his door. 

“You didn’t tell me you were coming over!”

“I wasn’t planning on coming over!” 

“Well, I haven’t told him yet!”

“About us? Joonie told me he’s already met Jimin, should I be offended?”

“Not about us , you overgrown child”

He blinks, trying to focus on them to maybe recognize who’s talking, but either he’s too tired, or he’s never heard these people before. Either way he’s sleepy and it’s his day off, so-

Jimin’s eyes snap back open. He doesn’t know the voices. There might be somewhere breaking into their flat as he sleeps.

(Maybe, if he paid attention to what the voices were saying, he wouldn’t be trying to walk up to the door as quietly as humanly possible with the bedside lamp as his weapon, since it was the closest, but go figure).

When he opens the door, the lamp in his hand high above his head, he realizes he might have overreacted, since the two people talking outside his room are no one else than Taehyung, his flatmate, who he didn’t recognize for some reason, and...

Why is Kim Seokjin standing outside his room? 

He stares back at the face he’s seen countless times on TV, on billboards, hell, Kim Seokjin is everywhere and now, apparently, he’s in his flat. Holding hands. With Taehyung. Why on earth is one of the most famous actors in whole South Korea standing outside his room?

Jimin needs a break. 

“Sorry,” he says, his voice barely louder than a whisper, as he realizes that he’s blushing like an idiot right now and, once again, wishes the ground would just swallow him whole. “I… thought someone was breaking in. Don’t mind me.”

Jimin closes the door again before he realizes what actually happened and he has to fight the urge to hit himself in the head with the lamp he’s holding. The pink-haired knows he has approximately a few seconds before either Taehyung or Seokjin (Kim Seokjin! Fucking Kim Seokjin!) open it again, so he runs towards his bed to put the lamp back. Pretending none of this happened seems like a reasonable idea right now. It might just work. 

It doesn’t, because the second the door opens again (fortunately, the lamp is now standing in its place), it reveals a very amused Taehyung and a clearly confused K i m Se o k j i n.

Jimin wants to die .

“I’m sorry I tried to kill you with a lamp” he blurts out before he can stop himself, which causes Taehyung to laugh out loud and Jimin to blush even more. Why on earth does this keep happening to him?

“Jimin, this is Jin, my soulmate” Taehyung finally speaks up after a moment of laughing quietly and Jimin looks in the taller man’s deep brown eyes and realizes, oh, this makes sense . Jin. Seokjin. This can happen, right? Yeah. 

“I’m sorry I’m here all of a sudden” Jin speaks up, looking half-embarrassed half-amused. “I was in the neighborhood and figured I’d pay Taehyung a visit.”

Jimin just waves his hand in no direction at all, trying to look as relaxed as possible “It’s okay, I just wasn’t exactly sure who’s standing outside and for a second I thought someone was breaking in and… You know what, this doesn’t make any sense, I’m Park Jimin, it’s nice to meet you” 

“If you want to eat breakfast with us, come to the kitchen!” it’s Taehyung speaking up this time and before Jimin can react, his flatmate literally drags Jin by the hand in the general direction of their kitchen, leaving Jimin all to himself. He finally drops the gaze from where the pair was just standing, and covers his face with his hand instead. So far, out of four Taehyung’s friends that he’s heard about, he made a complete idiot out of himself in front of just three. Way to go.

He searches through his wardrobe, trying to find anything that would qualify as decent, fails miserably and decides on a simple shirt and some jeans, which are definitely not a comfortable thing that he’d wear around the house normally, but at least he looks nice. Decent. Presentable. 

He exits the room not much later, after fixing his messed up hair a bit, and finds Taehyung and Jin (Kim Seokjin!) sitting at the little table they have set up in the kitchen, which (after Taehyung’s loud protests and Jin’s loud laugh) makes him sit at the counter.

If he thought Taehyung’s eyes were shining when he talked about photography and other things he loved, then right now, Taehyung whole was positively radiant. They weren’t talking about anything in particular, just some small talk, just getting to know each other, but each time Jin (wow, he really is eating breakfast with the Kim Seokjin) spoke up, it’s like the whole world disappeared for his soulmate. It was like there was no kitchen, no little apartment in Seoul, nothing except for the two of them and Jimin would feel out of place, if he wasn’t admiring how beautiful their relationship seemed to be. 

“Jimin? What do you think?” Taehyung’s voice brought him back but he had no idea what the other was asking about.

“Hm? Sorry, I wasn’t listening.”

“Jinnie is throwing a party next Friday, would you like to come? You can meet Hoseok and we can finally spend some time together.”

Jimin smiles. He’s never been included in things like that, with the number of his friends in Busan being two, one of them his own brother, and despite it being a quite scary change, it’s still nice. 

“Sure, why not,” he says with a shrug and is rewarded by a grin from Taehyung. 

He’s already heard about Hoseok, not only from Taehyung himself but from other students. He knew that Hoseok was studying at the same place as him, but he never expected ‘Taehyung’s Hoseok’ to be the same person as the legend people keep talking about at the dance department. He’s never seen him dance in real life, what with classes having just started, but he’s seen the videos.    

(“Hm? Yeah, that would be Hobi” Taehyung said one morning with a mouth full of food after Jimin’s shown him one and for the first time, Jimin actually felt like punching the other.)

He wants to meet Hoseok.

The second Seokjin leaves their flat, Jimin runs to Taehyung’s room and he has to stop himself from actually kicking the door open.

“When were you,” he says, pointing a finger at Taehyung, trying to sound as accusatory as he feels “going to tell me that your-soulmate-Jin is also Kim Seokjin?”

Taehyung looks up from a book he’s reading and grins. 

“First of all, my dear Jiminnie, you wouldn’t believe me anyway.” That might actually be true but it doesn’t matter, so Jimin just shakes his head in disapproval. 

“Second, it was so worth it to see your face, oh my god, you made my day.”

“I’m going to murder you one day, I promise.”

__________

Friday comes quicker than expected, with classes now in full force and Jimin getting home exhausted (but immensely happy) each evening just to fall asleep on the spot. Almost. Taehyung makes sure he showers and east first. 

(“Hoseok is like that also. When I was visiting Jin last year, we’d have to take care of him a lot because he wouldn’t do that himself”)

As time passes, Jimin becomes more and more curious about Taehyung’s remaining friend. So far, everyone else has been nothing but nice to him. He texts Namjoon on an almost daily basis now (though he still wonders what’s the deal with just one of his and Yoongi’s eyes being colored, but he figures he will find out sooner or later), sends pictures of cats to Yoongi sometimes out of spite, just to see annoyed emojis after his texts saying “look hyung, this one looks just like you <3”, which he already knows Taehyung does too.

Jin comes by one time, when Jimin is running out of the apartment, having overslept for the first time, and he gives him a cookie bought at a nearby Paris Baguette. He still has a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that his flatmate’s (and, well, friend’s) soulmate is an actual celebrity, but he’s getting there).

For the first time, he feels like he belongs somewhere.

“I have to visit you!” Jungkook says one time when they’re facetiming during Jimin’s break between classes. “I have to make sure those people aren’t just after you because they want to, I don’t know, sell your organs on the black market” he adds, to which Jimin responds with a laugh. He’d love that. He would love for Jungkook to meet his new group of… friends? He likes to call them that in his head, even though he barely met the bunch because they make him feel like he’s a part of the group and he blends in so easily he would never expect it. 

But now, it’s Friday and he’s been standing in front of the mirror standing in his bedroom for god knows how long with a slightly amused Taehyung sitting on his bed playing some game on the phone.

“You could at least help me, you know” Jimin sighs, turning left and right while still staring at his reflection like his angry glare is going to change anything. 

“You look good, Jimin, I don’t get why you’re making it all such a big deal,” his flatmate says, not looking up from his phone and Jimin rolls his eyes. 

“Easy for you to say, mr. I was born with the most perfect face the world has ever seen, but some of us did not get that honor and have to make up for it with their outfits” he says, only slightly annoyed because he himself knows that he’s overreacting a bit, but still. 

“First of all, shut that pretty mouth of yours, too much bullshit coming out of it. Second, it’s just a party and you already look freaking amazing Jimin.”

“They’re your friends” he whines.

“So what” this time it's Taehyung who rolls his eyes, locking the phone and putting it on the bed before he gets up. “If you want to make a good impression, trust me, you’ve already done that, Jin talks about you like you’re his little brother and you’ve only met twice.”

“I haven’t met all of them,” Jimin says and regrets it almost instantly because he can see in the mirror how Taehyung stops for a second, blinks twice before realisation hits him and he wiggles his eyebrows. 

“Well, if you had told me you want to impress Hoseok, we’d have a whole different talk Jiminnie.”

Jimin closes his eyes, prays to god for the patience he needs not to, like, kick Taehyung. In the face. He’s flexible enough to do that.

“I just want them to like me,” he says, opening his eyes just in time to see Taehyung winking. “Yes, them, Tae, not just Hoseok.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night my dear” Taehyung responds with a smirk but helps him choose the outfit in the end anyway. 

It’s nothing special, really, they ultimately decide on dark (but not quite black) jeans with a white shirt and blue leather jacket, the outfit he knows he looks good in and it makes Jimin feel oddly confident. Taehyung sits there in the background, scrolling through his phone, saying that “Jin asks where we are” and “Jimin hurry up” from time to time as he applies some light make up. He likes it, likes the way it makes him feel more confident, knows that it makes him look quite pretty. 

They leave their apartment not long after that.

Jimin has no idea where they’re going so he trusts Taehyung to lead the way (which is something he did not tell Jungkook in advance not to feed his theory on how his new friends just want to kidnap him), first in the subway and then in the busy streets of Seoul. He can see from the looks of the buildings and people around them that they’re in a richer area than the one they live in and while he feels a bit self-conscious, Taehyung seems to weirdly fit in with the atmosphere, like he’s used to it, like he belongs here. 

The other turns around at some point, looks at Jimin and smiles.

“Don’t worry, I was surprised at the beginning as well. It takes some time getting used to it.”

By the time they reach their destination, Jimin feels a bit better, but he’d still prefer to stay away from that area for as long as he can.

Jin’s apartment is huge and filled with people he’s never met before, which isn’t surprising really, but Taehyung grabs his hand as soon as they enter and drags him in the general direction of something that looks like a living room, even if it’s much too big for that.

He lets out a relieved sigh when he spots two familiar faces - Namjoon and Seokjin, who are sitting on the couch, drinks in hand, talking about Jimin doesn’t know what, but it looks, well, heated.   

“Jinnieeeeee” Taehyung screams, trying to be louder than the music that’s playing way too loudly for Jimin’s taste (at least for now, while he’s still sober) while somehow simultaneously jumping onto the man’s lap, which makes Jimin smile.

“No, Jin, listen” Namjoon looks a bit drunk already which is kind of impressive, honestly, considering how the party was supposed to start half an hour ago.

“That’s hyung to you.”

“Jin hyung , there’s got to be at least one planet out there that is inhabited.”

Jimin raises his eyebrows, struggling to figure out how on earth did their conversation, however it started, led up to this, while Taehyung just giggles and mutters ‘they’re always like this’. 

“Okay Joonie, but where’s your proof, show me the evidence.”

The passion in Jin’s voice makes Jimin snicker, before he looks around, trying to find the source of the alcohol in their hands. 

“The kitchen is that way” he hears Taehyung’s voice and turns to the general direction towards which his flatmate is pointing. This flat is way too huge.

“Do you want someth…”

“DON’T GIVE HIM ANY ALCOHOL PARK JIMIN” Jin suddenly yells in the middle of his discussion with Namjoon, having overheard them somehow despite the loud music. How on earth, Jimin has no idea. He nods, the last thing he wants is getting killed by Taehyung’s angry boyfriend (but oh boy, wouldn’t that be a piece of interesting news, the media would definitely love it).

__________

It happens an hour or so into the party.

Jimin is making his way back from the kitchen, already at his third drink (but that’s only because he keeps sharing with Taehyung whenever Jin’s not looking, really) when someone straight up runs into him in the entrance to the living room. 

He drops the cup he’s holding, can feel the drink spilling all over his shirt (and he really liked that shirt), before it dawns upon him.

Someone just run into him.

It isn’t Taehyung, he can see his flatmate still sitting on Seokjin’s lap on the couch (which means it isn’t Jin either), stopping mid-sentence and looking at him in pure terror.

He prays to all the gods above that it’s Namjoon, but he already very well knows it isn’t. Namjoon’s taller. Namjoon is still sitting on the couch.

The world in front of him spins. 

He can’t breathe .

“Wow wow wow, I’m so sorry, are you okay?” someone, most likely the person that just run into him, keeps asking questions but he can’t quite understand any of them. 

When he finally looks up from his hand that was holding a cup just seconds ago, there is a pair of green eyes staring back at him and he releases a shaky breath. 

Suddenly there’s Taehyung standing right in front of him, which is when Jimin realizes that the stranger actually grabbed his shirt (only because his hands are gone now). He can’t make out what the voices around him are saying, hears something about leaving someone ‘the fuck alone’, someone’s apologizing, but Jimin feels like he’s not there, not a part of it. 

He hears his name being repeated multiple times before he actually hears it and realizes Taehyung managed to get rid of the guy and turn around to face him. Namjoon and Jin are both standing right beside him and now Jimin’s not only terrified, he’s embarrassed. He shouldn’t have come. This was a bad idea from the beginning. 

“Please tell me it wasn’t me” he finally manages to say, voice barely louder than a whisper. “Tae, please, tell me…”

“It wasn’t” his flatmate shakes his head and Seokjin nods, as if to make Jimin believe them. “He found his soulmate ages ago, he’s Jin’s friend. It wasn’t you, Minnie, you’re okay.”

It takes some time for the world to finally stop spinning, but finally, it does. Nothing happened. He’s going to be okay. 

The music comes back to him and suddenly, everything is just as it was minutes before. The party goes on. The world moves on and he needs to move on as well.

“I’m sorry” he finally says, the voice way more confident now. “I need to go outside for a second.” He can see Taehyung opening his mouth to protest and it forces him to cut in. “I’m okay, Tae, shaken up but fine, I just need some fresh air. It’s not the first time it’s happened, really, I’ll be fine. I need air and a moment alone.” 

That seems to be enough, although all three of his friends (where’s Yoongi, anyway?) keep looking at him with concern as he forces a weak smile on his face. He hates to see them like this, hates to see them worry over nothing, feels ashamed because it’s his fault after all. If only he wasn’t like this, none of this would’ve happened.

Still, they let him go, Taehyung telling him to text him in case he needs it (he won’t) and after avoiding people on his way out as well as he can (which isn’t that difficult, thank god, considering the size of the place - he really didn’t think this through, what if the apartment was smaller) he’s finally outside. 

There’s a garden on the rooftop he realizes briefly, Taehyung having told him about it in passing, and he figures going there (and risking getting caught, if that’s a thing, since technically he was invited to be here) is a better option than going downstairs and just sitting on the pavement.         

When Jimin reaches the top floor, it dawns upon him that he’s forgotten his jacket which right now means he will have to sit in his (completely soaked) shirt outside, in the middle of March. He considers going back just for a brief moment, but going back would mean he’d have to face Taehyung, Seokjin and Namjoon again and that’s something he’s not ready for just yet, so he just shakes his head and goes outside.

The view is wonderful.

He’s only been in Seoul when he was just a little kid, back when his father was still with them, and he barely remembers any of it. Sure, there are pictures and you can always check the view over Seoul online, but it’s nothing compared to the real thing once you see it.

Despite the late hour, the streets are booming with life and there are people everywhere, talking, laughing, looking like they’re having the time of their lives. There are neon lights everywhere, and Jimin loves it, absolutely mesmerized by how colorful it makes the streets look. 

He's so lost in thoughts when suddenly He can hear the footsteps approaching him and even if it’s a security guard about to kick him out of here, Jimin doesn’t care at all.

It isn’t.

Someone sits next to him. Not close enough to make it uncomfortable for Jimin, but not far enough to make it the we’re-both-sitting-here-but-let’s-pretend-we-can’t-see-each-otjer kind of awkward, but that also means that a conversation is coming, sooner or later, and Jimin really isn’t in the mood for one, at least not now.

“Aren’t you cold?”

He figures out it might be a good moment to finally look at the stranger, now that they’re talking and all. He regrets that decision almost immediately, because holy shit, is everyone in Seoul this beautiful? Is it the air? The food here? This should be illegal if you ask him. He looks away again, realizing that first of all, he’s staring and second, he’s blushing like an idiot.

“Not really” he lies. It’s been a while since he came to the rooftop, although he’s not sure how much time passed exactly - Jimin’s doing his best to ignore the phone that’s buzzing in his pocket from time to time, probably due to texts from a worried Taehyung. He knows he shouldn’t ignore him like that, his flatmate having done nothing but helping him so far, but he’s honestly not in the mood for responding now, which is horrible and he will have to apologize as soon as he gets back downstairs.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but you’re literally shaking.” 

Jimin rolls his eyes. Of course, he noticed. He’s freezing to death in this exact moment, still too stubborn to go back downstairs before he manages to fully calm himself down, which might be a bit difficult with the stranger asking unnecessary questions and trying to keep up a conversation.

He knows what he’s doing isn’t in any way rational and it isn’t nice either - everyone around him seems to want to help, and Jimin hates it. He’s never needed any help before and it makes him feel exposed, vulnerable. 

The stranger sighs, obviously not satisfied with Jimin remaining silent, and in the corner of his eye, the pink-haired boy can see him taking off his jacket. No way .

“Here, wear thi…”

“Please don’t touch me.”

He’s too close now, way too close for Jimin to feel comfortable, and he has to fight the urge to run away, even though the stranger has done nothing wrong, at least for now. 

“I wasn’t going to” he hears the man say and hates himself for assuming, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. “I just don’t want you to freeze to death, but you can take the jacket yourself, you know.”

There’s something about the way he says it that makes Jimin want to actually listen to him, take the piece of clothing and wear it before he really freezes, but at the same time he doesn’t want the man’s help. Doesn’t want anyone’s help,

Jimin closes his eyes, ignoring the man next to him, hoping that he will eventually give up, but obviously, it doesn’t happen.

Moments later he can feel the jacket being carefully put on his arms and it somehow makes him smile a little. Whoever the man is, he respected Jimin’s request, at least the no-touching one. 

“I’m not going to force you to talk about what’s happening, you obviously might not want to share” is the next thing the stranger says to him and it makes Jimin open his eyes. “But just know that if you want to, well, I’m here.”

“Why are you helping me?” He doesn’t mean it in a rude way, but that’s how it comes out. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to be impolite, I just…”

“It’s okay” the stranger actually laughs and for some weird reason he can’t make out, Jimin feels himself blush a little (despite his cheeks being already red from the cold). “You looked sad.”

Well, that is unexpected, but he supposes he might look sad. Doesn’t feel it, he feels ashamed, maybe angry, definitely shaken up, but sad? It’s the last word he’d use to explain how he feels now.

“I’m not…”  he finally says, voice barely louder than a whisper “sad, really, just… I don’t know.” He also doesn’t know why he’s saying all this to a complete stranger that he’s met on a rooftop during a party, but it’s not the weirdest thing that’s happened since he came to Seoul. “Something happened and I just… needed a moment to breathe, I guess.”

He can see the stranger nod. “That’s fine. I hope it makes you feel better.”

Jimin’s confused. 

It’s not like he hasn’t met nice strangers in the past. This is the first time, however, that a conversation about how he feels with someone he doesn’t know doesn’t feel forced, unwanted. It’s nice.

“Why are you here?” he finds himself asking before he can stop himself. The man can be whoever, it’s not like the rooftop is closed for Seokjin and his guests only. It’s just, from the stranger’s appearance (or what he can see of it), he definitely doesn’t look like the type to live in a place like this one. “I’m sorry, I just assumed that you’re here from the party as well.”

“You guessed right,” the man says and from the way his voice sound, Jimin can guess that he’s smiling. “I just needed a little break and I like this place a lot.”

Jimin doesn’t know what it is that makes him want to talk to the man more, it’s like there’s a force pushing him towards the stranger and he can’t make it stop. He doesn’t want it to stop. 

No.

That’s not normal.

He gets up, shrugs the jacket off his shoulders to give it back and what he doesn’t expect is a pair of grey eyes, just like his own, staring back at him. It seems like the majority of people he’s met in Seoul so far (or at least talked to) has met their soulmates, so that’s a new one.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         “Thank you” he says quietly, feeling the sudden urge to look anywhere but at the stranger “for the jacket. I should go back, my friends are going to be worried.”

He can see, in the corner of his eye, that the stranger gets up as well and he suddenly regrets every decision he’s ever made because that means they have to go back together, which means more talking, and Jimin is definitely too sober for this. He’s also sure he’s seen the man before but just can’t remember where. Surely, he’d remember a face like that .

“You can give it back once you get inside and warm up a little.”

The way back to the apartment turns out to be much less awkward than he imagined it would be - after he forces the man to take back his jacket, insisting on not being cold anymore, they don’t talk. It’s a good kind of quiet, the one that actually makes you feel comfortable, makes you feel at peace, with no sign of awkwardness.

Much to his surprise, the stranger heads just where he’s going - towards the couch where Seokjin, Taehyung and Namjoon, now with Yoongi by his side, are sitting and it’s the moment when it clicks.

He’s seen this man before. Multiple times, in countless videos posted on youtube that he now watched almost religiously, but somehow still wasn’t able to recognize the person in them when he was sitting right next to Jimin, on that rooftop.

Why is he so dumb .

“Hobi hyung!” Tae straight up yells, jumping off surprised Seokjin’s lap. “And you brought Jiminnie with you!”

Jimin locks eyes with Hoseok, once again taken aback by the fact that they’re grey, not like any other of his (their) friends before he smiles shyly, wanting to say how he really didn’t know , without actually saying it.

Before he can react further, Hoseok has a bright smile on his face (is it possible for one’s mouth to be shaped like a heart AND for one’s eyes to shine so brightly while smiling? Apparently, it is now).

“I did, I found and saved him from death by sulking. Y’all can thank me later.”

The party after that is a bit of a blur.

It’s Seokjin telling them all some lame jokes that make Jimin laugh louder than he should (and apparently making him the only one to laugh). It’s a lot of alcohol, a lot of talking about everything and nothing. It’s Taehyung dragging him to the dancefloor, if you can call it that, while it’s just a fragment of the flat with no furniture, once it gets empty enough for Jimin to feel comfortable, so they can both make absolute fools out of themselves.

It’s Hoseok and he’s everywhere.

Jimin can feel the man’s eyes on him, can sometimes hear his loud laugh that could be irritating but somehow it’s not. Can practically feel his presence even if he’s not in the room, even when Jimin’s getting another drink in the kitchen. 

No amount of alcohol can make him forget about the beautiful smile Hoseok gives him whenever their eyes meet, one so bright it’s almost blinding, and the way he moved each time he decided to get up and dance instead of sitting on the couch.

He’s still willing to try.

__________

When Jimin wakes up, it’s with a pounding headache and barely any memories of the night before, or at least what happened after his last trip to the kitchen. He blinks once, twice, trying to fight the urge to go back to sleep when he realizes that he’s in his room and he doesn’t remember going there. 

He’s wearing a shirt he knows Seokjin gave him at some point, despite him protesting, so he can change from the one covered in alcohol all over, and there’s a glass of water along with some painkillers on his nightstand. 

His phone is charging.

What the hell .

He gets up, slowly, trying not to move too fast, but the first thing he reaches for is his phone instead of water. 

There are a few messages from Taehyung, all telling him to let him know when Jimin gets home (which, obviously, he didn’t do) and one text from a number he doesn’t know.

“Hi Jiminnie! It’s Hoseok. I don’t think you can remember the way back home, Taehyung gave me your number so I could text you before you freak out. I hope you’re okay, but just in case you’re not, I left some medicine on the nightstand. It was nice to get to know you!”

Suddenly, everything comes back.

For whatever reason (he knows the reason too well) he got stupidly drunk last night, not to the point of passing out, that barely happens to him, but to the point of not being able to walk a straight line? Definitely.

He remembers Taehyung giggling at him, in no better shape himself, he knows Jin said Jimin can stay the night if he wants to, but he also remembers refusing. Sleeping in other people’s houses always made him feel unsafe and being drunk only made it worse instead of better. 

It wasn’t always like that and at some point, he stopped considering his house in Busan a home that he belongs to, the only person that made it a bit more bearable was his brother. This one, however, feels safe. He’s already managed to make himself a home out of nothing.

He, unfortunately, remembers Hoseok offering to take him home. He refused, or at least he thinks so, but Hoseok was stubborn. 

They were talking in the taxi on their way back, that much he knows, but about what - he has absolutely no idea. 

Jimin wants to disappear.

He takes a few deep breaths but then decides it’s not enough, so he starts stomping around the room, despite his growing headache. He has to answer but the fear of making a fool out of himself yet again is bigger.

He texts Tae, telling him that he, indeed, did get home safe, and then switches back to the message from Hoseok. Locks his phone, unlocks it, locks it again, throws it at the bed only to pick it up seconds later. He’s fully aware he’s just making this harder for himself, it really isn’t that much of a deal (or is it?).

For some reason, Jimin wants Hoseok to like him .

He hasn’t felt this drawn to somebody for so long he’s not sure whether he ever felt like this.

There’s just something about Hoseok, something about his laugh that automatically made Jimin giggle each time he heard it, something about his sunshine smile. About the way he listens to you and doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t judge either. 

There’s so much passion and energy in his eyes Jimin wonders where it’s coming from and whether it’s always like this.

He inhales and opens the message window again.

“Hi!” typing a text has never been this hard and he scowls, even though he’s barely written anything. Isn’t it too enthusiastic? Too weird? 

It’s just a hi, chill . “I’m okay now, thank you so much for bringing me home, I’m sorry I was a bother. It was nice to meet you as well.”

He hesitates before he adds another line.

“Hope to see you again soon.”

__________

“We don’t really know why our eyes are like this” Namjoon tells him one time, when they’re sitting in the coffee shop they visited. Jimin has a break between classes and since Taehyung ignored all his angry texts, he decided to visit it on his own, only to stumble upon Namjoon. 

“There aren’t many people like this, so there’s barely any research to go through, and even if there were more, I guess they wouldn’t want to be experimented on,” he says, the book he was reading long forgotten. “Some think there might be a third person we need to find, and maybe it’s true.”

Jimin looks at him with sudden interest.

“I…” he can see that Namjoon is struggling, looking for the right words. “I don’t know how to say it without sounding ungrateful. You see, the way Tae and Jin keep talking about how they feel complete with each other?” Jimin nods, remembering the night a very drunk Taehyung stumbled into his room. They haven’t talked about it afterward, not really, his flatmate obviously understanding that Jimin isn’t comfortable with the topic. “With Yoongi, it feels like… something’s missing.”

He can see that Namjoon regrets his words almost instantly, so he doesn’t interrupt until his friend finds the right words. It’s the first time it happens, Namjoon usually being the clever, well-spoken and talkative one, with a rather quiet Yoongi by his side.

“That sounded bad, what I wanted to say that… I love Yoongi, of course, and I’ve never been happier but something… something’s not right. We talked about this, we agreed on it and it’s nothing about me, nothing about him either… So we’re searching.”

Jimin just nods, having no experience on his side to offer any kind of advice. He’s jealous, well, kind of. He doesn’t know what it’s like - to have a person that will support you through all that. Sure, he has Jungkook and Jihyun, he now has Taehyung and all his friends and he’s more than thankful for them, but it’s different.

“I hope you find whoever you’re looking for” he finally says with a smile and he means it. He wants Namjoon, hell, he wants all of them to be happy.

Namjoon gives him a shy smile in return and that’s when Jimin decides to tell him.

“When I first ran into you, I…” now he’s struggling to find the right words himself, what an irony. “I panicked because…”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to” Namjoon interrupts him briefly, probably sensing how uncomfortable Jimin is. “Taehyung told us to be careful around you, he didn’t say anything else and I don’t want to pry.”

Jimin, surprisingly, doesn’t feel mad about the fact Taehyung has mentioned his ‘problem’ - somehow, it makes him feel at peace because his flatmate truly cares about his well-being.

“I want to, it’s just… My dad died when I was just a kid” and just like that, the worst is now said. “It really… ruined my mom, to the point where I haven’t talked to her for years now, she just stopped talking when she’s around me and my brother. I mean, that’s not the worst part of it” he takes a deep breath, trying to collect his thoughts before he ends up crying again. He doesn’t want to, not anymore, not with so many wonderful people here to support him. “I just don’t want to end up like her, I’m too scared.”

He’s not crying this time and he’s thankful for that. 

Namjoon doesn’t move from his seat but the look he gives Jimin is so full of sadness he might start crying just because of that.

“It’s stupid, I’m…”

“It’s not, Jimin” Namjoon interrupts him. “I’m so sorry Jimin. It’s not surprising that you’re scared. I’m not going to give you a lecture over how your mother’s story doesn’t have to become yours, you’ve probably heard enough of those.” Jimin nods. So many people tried to tell him that - teachers, family members, hell, even Jungkook tried it once which in the end almost earned him a punch in the face, but just almost. “I just hope you’ll be able to find happiness someday Jimin, with or without your soulmate.”

When Yoongi joins them just minutes later, they’re both smiling again. Jimin leaves them after a few minutes, having to go back to classes, but before he does, he gives Namjoon an encouraging nod, allowing him to tell his boyfriend everything he’s heard from the pink-haired. It’s much easier for him that way.

Just before he reaches the training hall, he gets a text from Yoongi.

We’re all proud of you.

He’s late to the practice just because, this time, he actually starts crying

__________

He stays after practice to train some more, focusing on the move he just can’t seem to get right no matter how many times he tries. He keeps failing and falling and at some point he’s just so tired. 

The second he crashes to the floor, yet again, is the second the practice room door opens.

He looks up from the floor, already embarrassed of just falling like that, but the second he locks eyes with the person standing in the entrance, he just wants to disappear.

Of all the people that could have come over, of course, it has to be Hoseok witnessing him falling dramatically to the floor.

The man seems to be just surprised as he is, before worry replaces the bewilderment on his face.

“Jimin, are you okay?” he says as he drops his bag on the floor and rushes to his side like Jimin needs help. He doesn’t, it’s nothing big.

He just nods, scrambling to get up again before he fails, falling on the ground again. He has no idea how much time has passed since the classes ended, but now he realizes it must have been a while.

Hoseok drops to the ground next to him and Jimin just briefly notices how the other is trying to keep some distance.

“Please don’t touch me.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

“Sorry” he says before Hoseok has the chance to speak up. “I kind of… lost track of time, I don’t know for how long I’ve been here.”

He expects Hoseok to be annoyed because that’s what always happened when Jihyun caught him practicing late, maybe because Jimin isn’t supposed to be here anymore since, well, Hoseok is here. What he doesn’t expect is for Hoseok to give him this bright smile that makes him go insane.

They haven’t talked since that dumb party that Jimin doesn’t remember half of and since then, he almost forgot that whenever Hoseok smiles, it’s like everything around him shines. 

Almost.

Because Hoseok himself is hard to forget.

Before he realizes, there’s a water bottle standing in front of him.

“It’s okay,” Hoseok says, and well, to say Jimin is surprised is an understatement since Jihyun would have yelled at him at this point. “It happens to me as well. Drink some, you’ll feel better.”

It really does. Jimin feels ashamed for forgetting about something so necessary, but he was too focused on practicing, trying to get it right this one time. 

“Honestly, I came here to practice just a bit more” Hoseok starts talking while Jimin’s still drinking the water. “But then I saw you through the window on the door, I’m sorry for spying on you” he adds and Jimin tries his best not to freak out. This is fine. This is okay. “You’re great, Jimin.”

He wants to refuse, he really does. There are many words he would use to describe his dancing, but great isn’t one of them. There’s still so much he has to learn, so much he has to practice, so many aspects to be fixed. He shakes his head, but Hoseok is already talking again.

“Don’t give me that ‘I’m not’ or whatever you were going to say because you really are, Jimin. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”

He can feel himself blush like crazy. He’s heard compliments before, people were quick to give them to him back in Busan, but ever since he came here, he’s felt like there’s so much that he needs to fix, so much he has to work on. 

“Anyway, what I was going to say is that I work as a dance instructor part-time, just teaching kids, it’s nothing much” it makes Jimin look at him because he had no idea, Taehyung only briefly mentioned Hoseok having a job one time when the topic was brought up. “One of the teachers quit recently and we’re looking for a replacement and Tae told me you’re looking for a job. It’s not much, but I can talk to the manager, recommend you, you know. If it’s okay with your class schedule and all, but I think they’d be willing to change the time of classes at the studio of it’s necessary.”

“You’d be willing to do that?” Jimin must look even more amazed than he feels because Hoseok responds with a giggle. 

“Of course I would. You’re good, you’re looking for a job and we’re friends, but it’s mostly the you-being-good-at-dancing part, you know, before you call me incompetent or something” Hoseok laughs and Jimin laughs along with him. 

He doesn’t comment on how Hoseok just called him a friend, but he notices. There’s a voice at the back of his head saying how of course he’s gonna get called a friend, he’s Hoseok’s friend by extension, through Taehyung and Namjoon and Yoongi, but he ignores it before another thought comes creeping in, wondering how it would feel to be someone more important to Hoseok than just a friend. How would it feel to be love-

He shakes it off just as quickly, terrified by the fact that he even dared to think about it.

They spend some more time talking and Jimin finds it oddly easy to talk to Hoseok, despite them still being strangers, technically. They talk about their families back in their respective homes, although Jimin doesn’t mention his dad, just his brother, but the other doesn’t ask questions. They talk about dance, how it started for both of them, and Jimin uses the chance to compliment on Hoseok’s dancing, which makes the other smile in the brightest way he’s ever seen. They talk about everything and nothing, Hoseok tells him stories about living with Yoongi and Namjoon and how disgustingly in love the two are, which, for some reason, doesn’t make the pink-haired uncomfortable this time. He, in return, tells him all about living with Taehyung, about how he first met Jin and almost killed him with a lamp, which makes the other laugh so loudly and still, Jimin wouldn’t mind hearing this laugh every day, forever, from now on. Neither of them get any more practice done, too invested in their conversation and when Jimin finally leaves the campus, having promised to text Hoseok once he gets home, there’s a funny feeling inside of him he can’t quite describe.

__________

He gets the job, of course.

At first he thought Hoseok was just being nice, even when the man asked him for any kind of video Jimin was trying no to get his hopes high. When he eventually gets a phone call from the manager of the dance studio his new friend works in after he hangs up he squeals so loudly Taehyung bursts inside his room to check on him. They end up yelling together before he calls Jungkook to share the happy news.

“He did WHAT” Jungkook positively screams over the phone once he finds out it was Hoseok that got him the job. Ever since Jimin has shown him the videos of Hoseok dancing, Jungkook wouldn’t shut up about having to meet him one day, making Jimin promise over and over again that he would introduce them to each other once there’s an occasion. 

He wants that.

He really does.

He wants Jungkook to come over, meet his new friends that have been nothing but kind and welcoming ever since he came to Seoul. 

He spends the whole day thinking about what to say to Hoseok, how to thank him because no words he has in mind seem to be enough. 

In a brief moment of courage, he decides to call the man instead, which is something he regrets almost immediately, but there’s no going back at this point.

It takes so long for Hoseok to pick up that Jimin at some point hopes he isn’t going to answer the phone at all but just then, the man picks up.

“Jimin?” he’s somewhere outside, Jimin can hear the traffic all around. “Did something happen?”

“What?” he’s confused at first only to realize he’s never called Hoseok before - they kept texting, but that was it. “No no no. Wait, are you busy? I can call later.”

“It’s okay” Hoseok answers and Jimin can practically hear from the tone of his voice - he’s smiling.

The pink-haired takes a deep breath, collecting his thoughts quickly because he feels like he’s about to embarrass himself. Again.

“It’s just... The studio you work at? They called me and… I got a job?”

The noise Hoseok makes at that moment makes Jimin jump up from surprise - well, he wasn’t expecting that. 

He smiles, feels a blush bloom on his cheeks, stupid, Hoseok isn’t even here to see you, why are you blushing .

“They told me to sent them my class schedule and all so we can figure something out, but… I just wanted to thank you” he says, his voice getting quieter with each word for some reason. “Thank you, Hoseok. It means a lot to me.”

“Don’t thank me, Jimin” the traffic gets quieter, then disappears completely - Hoseok must’ve entered a building or something. “It’s all thanks to your skills, not mine.”

“But you recommended me.”

“I merely suggested” he argues, but Jimin knows it’s a lie. It must be.

“Still” the pink-haired says almost immediately. “You did it and I wanted to thank you. And if I can repay somehow then…”

“No” Hoseok interrupts him almost immediately. “I said it’s okay Jiminnie” (the nickname makes him blush even more, despite everyone else using it, it’s different with Hoseok).

“But I want to. Even if, you know, you say it’s nothing, it still means a lot to me hyung.”

“Buy me a coffee then” Jimin is sure that Hoseok is smirking, can, once again, hear it .

Well, that wasn’t a good idea.

__________

Their little meeting ( date , Jimin’s mind provides, but he shakes the thought off) ends up being a small celebration once Jimin gets a text confirming that there are three, not one or two, but three classes he’ll be able to teach with his schedule.

So here they are, sitting on Jimin’s bed that suddenly feels a bit too small, in Jimin’s room that’s suddenly too tiny and warm, both a little bit tipsy (Jimin finds out that during the last party Hoseok wasn’t drinking which, well, explains a lot), talking about everything and nothing at once because it’s so nice and easy to talk to Hoseok, Jimin feels like they’ve known each other for years instead of weeks. 

“I’m serious!” Hoseok is in the middle of telling him a story about how Yoongi got mad because his parents’ dog supposedly liked Hoseok a bit more than him. “He was so angry and, like, it’s not even my fault? Animals usually like me, I can’t control it, I don’t even know why it’s happening.”

“That’s cute.”

“You’re cute.”

Jimin’s eyes grow wide at the compliment and he blushes almost immediately. He can’t gather the courage to look at Hoseok so he just stares at his hands instead.

“Oh my god I’m sorry, did I make you uncomfortable” Hoseok is obviously startled by Jimin’s reaction. “I’m really sorry, I wasn’t thi-”

“It’s okay!” Jimin looks up only to look down on his hands again after realizing how obviously he’s blushing.

__________

Jungkook calls him one day immediately after Jimin gets out of the practice room, not having checked his phone once for the whole day because he was too busy. 

“I thought you DIED” is the first thing he hears after picking up the phone, Jungkook’s voice so loud despite the traffic surrounding Jimin that he winces.

“I had classes Kookie, there’s a thing called university you know.”

“You could’ve at least texted me, you know” Jimin can hear that the younger is trying to stop himself from laughing.

“I had no time.”

“Just say you’ve replaced me with your new friends and go.”

It’s a joke, Jimin knows very well that it’s a joke, can hear it from Jungkook’s tone, but there’s still a bit of guilt he feels. He’s trying his best not to neglect both Jungkook and Jihyun (although the latter seems to be neglecting him just fine), but sometimes, with his schedule, he forgets. 

“I’m really sorry Kook, I’m just really busy and…”

“Oh my god, hyung, I was literally joking” Jungkook sounds more serious this time like he’s realized he’d said too much (even though he didn’t because, if it wasn’t a joke, then he still had the right to say what’s on his mind). “I know you’re busy and you’re trying your best anyway. So, how’s life?”

Jimin sighs.

To be fair, it’s not so good, at least recently.

Classes are slowly becoming unbearably difficult and even if Jimin expected that and still tries his best, not wanting to waste the opportunity he’s given, it’s hard. The thought of giving up crosses his mind almost every day now and that says a lot - never in his life did he think of giving up on his dreams.

He barely has time for anything except for university, because when he’s not either studying or training, he’s working, and when he’s doing neither of those - he sleeps.

Taehyung had already noticed something’s not right, but Jimin refused to talk about it - since there’s nothing wrong except for him being so exhausted he falls asleep immediately after getting home. 

The only thing that keeps him from falling is meeting up with Hoseok, which has been happening a lot since Jimin started working at the same studio. Even if they don’t meet outside of the university of work, it’s still a little sparkle of light that makes Jimin feel it’s all worth it.

“It’s…” he hesitates, not wanting to worry the younger. Everyone knows Jimin is the last one to give up and since Jungkook wants to join him at the same major next year when he has to start university, he definitely doesn’t want to discourage his friend. After all, maybe it’s just him overreacting. The thought of not being good enough for this crosses his mind, but he shakes it off immediately. “It’s tiring. I have so much work to do it feels like I’m living or campus and at the studio instead of my own house.”

“But you knew it would be like that.”

“I figured.”

“And you’re strong.”

“Debatable.”

He hears Jungkook inhale loudly and can already feel the scolding coming up. He’s the older one, for god’s sake, it should be the other way around. 

“Shut up, hyung, you’re the most hardworking person I’ve met, do I have to remind you how many times I had to physically drag your from the studio?” Jimin fights the urge to say that it always worked both ways - Jungkook also had the tendency to overwork himself (although Jimin wouldn’t call what he did working too much, but rather doing the bare minimum - something Jungkook never agreed with him on). “You went through so much shit and you still managed, you can’t give up now. Of course it’s going to be tough, but in the end, it will be worth it.”

Jimin doesn’t know whether to cry because of how smart Jungkook has gotten apparently or because of what he actually said - decides he’s not going to cry over either of those because he’s still in public, after all.

“Anyway, I called to tell you about a competition, well, info I found about one but since you’re too busy you probably don’t want to do it and…”

“Wait, what are you talking about Kook, if you’re participating then, of course, I’ll find the time to support you, who do you think I am? Where is it? And when? I’ll figure something out even if I have classes or job, I can make it work and-”

“Wait wait wait hyung, that’s not what I meant” Jungkook interrupts him and Jimin just opens his mouth in silent surprise, even if the other can’t see him. “It’s in Seoul and I was thinking about, you know, how maybe you would want to participate.”

What?

“You know how I feel about competitions Jungkook” he says before it dawns upon him. “Wait, why are you checking out events in Seoul?”

There’s a moment of silence on the other end of the line before Jungkook sighs. “Surprise?”

Jimin has to take a deep breath and collect his thoughts before he speaks up again.

“So you’re telling me” he hesitates for a second. “That you’re coming over under the excuse of going to the competition. And you didn’t tell me?”

“I’ve been searching for something like that for weeks now, but you know that I’d come visit you anyway, hyung” there’s a hint of sadness, maybe disappointment in Jungkook’s voice and Jimin hates himself for a brief second. “I just, you know, wanted us to do something fun while I’m there. And I know that you don’t feel good enough for competitions, I really do, but I figured out, since you already got into university, what’s stopping you? That fact itself is proof that you’re good, hyung. And it’s not that big anyway, which is why I figured that you can try, you know? From something small, build your way up there.”

Jimin doesn’t even try to say a word during Jungkook’s speech, to surprised to find it in himself to reply.

“But since you’re so busy I guess it wasn’t a good idea after all. Wait, are you mad at me? I’m sorry, I just thought-”

“Jungkook” Jimin interrupts him mid-sentence, for his mind seems to be working again. “I’ll think about it.” He hears Jungkook’s surprised gasp and regrets it almost immediately, and yet he doesn’t stop talking. “Of course I’m not mad at you. If anything, I’m thankful that you thought about me.”

“Great! I’ll send you the details, hyung!” and just like that, the call is over and Jimin wonders what the hell did he just do.

He finds and dials Hoseok’s number almost immediately, not even thinking about what he’s doing and he realizes what’s happening when the man picks up the phone.

“Jimin?” there’s a hint of surprise in Hoseok’s voice, as well as a bit of something else that Jimin can’t exactly pinpoint. “What’s up?”

“Where are you?” he asks before he can stop himself, realizing how desperate he sounds. He doesn’t want to make Hoseok worried, but it seems it’s too late for that now.

“I just finished classes, why? Is everything okay?” of course Hoseok sounds worried, with what Jimin managed to learn about the other so far he always cares about others more than about himself.

He doesn’t know why he’s reacting this way. It’s nothing big,he can always refuse Jungkook and deal with his disappointment for a few days, maybe even hours - it’s not something that hasn’t happened before. 

“Can I see you?” he finally asks and oh god, Jimin hates how much he’s overreacting. It’s not a big deal and yet it makes him so anxious he feels like throwing up. 

He ends up in Hoseok’s flat no too much later, sitting on a couch with a mug of hot tea in his hands, staring at nothing in particular. Neither Yoongi nor Namjoon are there, so he and Hoseok are all by themselves and he doesn’t know whether it makes him feel relieved, or just more anxious.

Looking back at it, it was stupid. He should’ve just went home, ignored the details Jungkook has sent him and waited a few days before refusing because he’s too busy. But of course he had to cause all that drama around himself, making Hoseok worried when he was perfectly capable of dealing with the situation alone.

And now, there’s a very distressed Hoseok sitting on the other side of the couch, staring at him with anticipation. Oh god, Jimin is so stupid.

“Listen” he finally says and hates how weak he sounds. “I just… panicked, it’s nothing big. I worried you for nothing, really…”

“Jimin” Hoseok interrupts him before he can say anything more. “It made you upset, so it’s not nothing. I won’t force you to talk about if you don’t want to, that’s okay, but don’t ever belittle your feelings just because they might seem ‘stupid’ or whatever. If it makes you feel something, it’s not stupid.”

What did he do to deserve people like Hoseok in his life? Jimin has no idea. 

He wants to tell him, even if it’s not something he’d ever told anyone, not even Jungkook. It’s different with Hoseok and Jimin can’t exactly understand why, but it is.

“Jungkook called me... “ he begins slowly. “You know, my childhood friend. He’s fine, everything’s fine, don’t worry!” he quickly adds, seeing how distressed Hoseok seems to be at the mention of the younger. “It’s… He wants to visit me, meet you guys and it’s great, it’s all good, but he found this contest… it’s nothing big, really, I don’t even know why he’s so stubborn about it. I guess he just wants to support me like I always did for him, and he loves dancing so much, I’ve told you about him, it would be great for him to even go and watch, but…”

“But you don’t want to go.”

Jimin shakes his head. “It’s not even that, I just don’t want to perform.”

“But why, if it’s okay for me to ask?” there’s no rush in Hoseok’s tone, no irritation, just pure concern that makes Jimin melt. “I know that you don’t believe in how good you are, which is a shame really, but if just that was the case then you wouldn’t be here now, so I’m assuming it’s something else.”

Jimin nods quickly, not quite ready to say anything more just yet, but willing to show Hoseok that he’s going to, eventually.

A few moments pass before he collects the mess of thoughts that’s happening in his head right now and decides to speak up.

“I went to a dance competition once, back when I was a kid. We performed in groups, practiced for so long, everything was going to be perfect” he’s honestly surprised at how calm he sounds, despite the fact that this is a story he’s never told anyone before. He’s afraid that Hoseok is going to find it pathetic, but he wants the man to know. “My parents were there, at the audience, my dad took the day off just because I was performing.”

He sighs before continuing his story.

“I messed up. It’s a blur, I barely remember what exactly happened, but the next thing I knew I was sitting in the middle of the stage with my ankle twisted. I have no idea how it happened, I was just a kid, it shouldn’t be this hard, I must have tripped or something. On my way to the hospital, I promised my parents over and over again that I’ll practice harder, that I’ll get better, that the next time we’re going to win. They weren’t even mad at me and I think that’s the worst part.”

He stops for a second, about to reach the worst part of the story that he’s told multiple times before, but somehow, each time, it makes the tears gather in his eyes.

“Two months later my dad died.”

He can see the shock on Hoseok’s face as he continues the story - on what happened to his mother, how she hasn’t spoken a word ever since, how he had to take care of Jihyun, how they tried to help her - it’s all the same story over and over again. About how broken he was, they all were, but never had time to heal, about how a house that was once warm and colorful didn’t feel like home again. About how scared he is that the same thing will happen to him, just like it happened to his mother.

He looks down at the cup of tea, now cold, in his hands and realizes that he’s shaking. Jimin doesn’t have the courage to look at Hoseok anymore, feels stupid, embarrassed and so, so weak.

“I never tried to compete again” he adds, his voice barely there, it’s more like a whisper. “If I can’t prove to my dad that I’ve gotten better, then what’s the point?”

There’s silence after that, but Jimin’s too scared to look up and see Hoseok’s reaction, so he just continues fiddling with his cup. It’s after some time that he feels some kind of material being put on his shoulders and he realizes that it’s Hoseok covering him with a blanket, keeping a safe distance not to touch Jimin. 

He looks up, tears still spilling from his eyes and he finds Hoseok’s eyes, grey, so distressed it makes his heart break.

“I’m so sorry Jimin” he whispers. “I am so, so sorry.”

__________

Jimin doesn’t even remember falling asleep, but he must have done that at some point, since the next thing he knows, someone’s snuggling next to him, although he has no idea who it is.

“Hoseok?” he asks quietly, his voice hoarse and mind foggy, as he moves himself a bit closer to the person.

“Shh, Jiminnie” he can’t recognize the voice of whoever that is. “Go back to sleep.”

Jimin realizes that he wouldn’t mind it if it was Hoseok. He wouldn’t mind it at all.

__________

When he wakes up again, it’s to a sleeping Yoongi cuddled up by his side, both of them covered with a blanket. Hoseok is sitting on the floor scrolling mindlessly through his phone, but he looks up almost immediately when he realizes Jimin is staring at him. His entire expression lights up. 

“Slept well?” he asks with a smile and Jimin suddenly feels like running away. “I asked him to, well, comfort you in some way since, you know, I can’t really touch you and apparently that’s his way of comforting people” he adds, pointing at the sleeping figure. 

“I’m sorry,” the pink-haired says quietly, trying his best not to wake Yoongi up. “I don’t even know when I fell asleep, I didn’t want to be a bother and....”

“You’re cute” Hoseok blurts out and Jimin is pretty sure he can see the man regretting what he said. “If you were bothering me, I’d kick you out long ago. Besides, you looked like you needed some rest.” 

“I’m sorry,” Jimin says before Hoseok can even finish the sentence. He really feels bad about what happened, even if Hoseok keeps telling him he doesn’t mind. “It was stupid, I overreacted and…”

“Jimin” the older speaks up, interrupting him mid-sentence. “I’ve told you already, but don’t you ever apologize for feeling bad, about anything. It made you feel this way, so it’s not stupid. And you didn’t overreact. You had every right to react this way, if anything, I think you’re dealing pretty well.”

To say he’s embarrassed would be a huge understatement, and Jimin looks down on his hands instead of staring at the man in front of him. 

“And about that competition…”

“For god’s sake, can both of you shut up?” Jimin almost jumps up when Yoongi speaks up all of a sudden, having forgotten that the man is even there despite him still hugging Jimin’s side - or not anymore, since he apparently decided to stretch his arms out, almost hitting the pink-haired in the face. “People are trying to sleep here.”

__________

They don’t really talk about that evening, or the competition, after that, and Jimin’s grateful. Jungkook sometimes sends him messages about the contest, but the pink-haired decides to ignore them every single time, changing the topic to whatever comes to his mind before his younger friend can ask any questions. It works, at least for now, but Jimin knows that sooner or later he’ll have to refuse and disappoint the younger, which is something he will never be ready for.

He’s cleaning up after a particularly tiring day at work, all the kids armed with even more energy than usual, if that’s even possible, when the door to the studio opens and Hoseok’s head peeks in and Jimin has to fight the huge smile that’s blooming on his face, despite the tiredness he feels in his bones.

“I knew I’d find you here,” the older says, entering the room and closing the door behind him. “Do you need help?”

Jimin shakes his head, there’s barely anything left to be done anyway. “I’m almost finished.”

Hoseok responds with a grin. “Guess I’ll just stay around to bother you.”

The pink-haired responds with a giggle and continues shuffling around, while Hoseok makes his way into the room.

He doesn’t register when exactly the music starts playing and he has no idea when he starts moving along to it. He knows the song, he's heard it before but never thought about dancing to it - and it turns out to be perfect.

What he also doesn't realize is that Hoseok is dancing with him, up until he catches the man's smiling reflection in the mirror.

It feels so natural, like he's been doing it his whole life.

__________

A few days after he’s sitting with Taehyung in their tiny living room, both trying to study and both (or at least Jimin) failing miserably, when he gets a text from Hoseok and almost jumps up from his seat, which earns him a glare from his friend.

“What do you think?”

There’s a video attached to it, Jimin recognizes the place as one of the practice rooms from the studio they both work in. He hesitates before playing start, for no reason at all, but he plays it in the end.

Jimin remembers the song clearly - it’s the same one that was playing a few days back in the studio, when they were dancing for the first time together, the memory making him smile.

Hoseok is the one standing in the center of the frame, not moving until a certain moment in the song plays - and when he starts dancing, Jimin can’t help but let out a quiet gasp.

He recognizes some of the moves from what they did back then, just goofing around to the music, but it seems like Hoseok actually worked on the choreography, created something out of the little snippets they did a few days back and Jimin can’t stop the tears slowly filling his eyes. It’s beautiful.

The video is short and before he knows it, it has ended but the pink-haired just plays it again. Honestly, the choreography isn’t even that complicated, nor that extraordinary - but the mere fact that Hoseok decided to take something that was supposed to be just them playing around, and transform it into a choreography this beautiful, makes him want to cry for days.

The video ends, god knows how many times he’s watched it by now and when he looks up from his phone, still speechless, he finds Taehyung staring at him over the glasses he’s wearing.

“You’re so whipped,” he says with a sigh and Jimin finds himself blushing furiously. Taehyung just shakes his head. “You didn’t even deny it, I can’t believe this.”

He decides to ignore his friend, instead thinking of a reply that wouldn’t include him screaming or just, well, crying like he almost did the first time he watched the video.

He fails miserably.

OH MY GOD HYUNG, I love it so much!!! I can’t believe you really did this!!!!!! It’s beautiful.

__________

Dancing with Hoseok feels so natural it’s almost like breathing, and Jimin wonders how he lived without it up until now. They somehow manage to find a few hours a week, despite their busy schedules, and it keeps Jimin going, keeps him motivated.

When there’s nothing but him, Hoseok, a practice room, and music, Jimin forgets about everything. His father, who isn’t there anymore, his mother back in Busan, although it’s more like she isn’t there either. He forgets about Jungkook, about Jihyun who seemed to never have time to contact him, he forgets about his fears. He was happy before, dancing took his mind off things to some extent, but this is something new and he never wants it to end.

If Jimin (although he’s having a hard time admitting it) thought Hoseok was beautiful, then when he dances he becomes something out of this world and none of the videos the pink haired has seen were able to portray that, not fully at least.

He makes a decision one Wednesday evening, while they’re both laying on the practice room floor, Hoseok mindlessly scrolling through his phone, while Jimin just stares at the ceiling and thinks . 

What happened back in Busan has stopped him from growing in more ways than one. He keeps living in constant fear, feels like he’s stuck when he should be moving forward. He didn’t leave Busan for his mind to still be trapped the way it was back then. 

“Hoseok” he speaks up, breaking the silence for the first time in what feels like hours since they stopped dancing and just dropped to the floor. The man looks at Jimin with curiosity clear in his eyes and smiles. God, why is he always smiling?

“What is it?”

“I think…” saying it is definitely much more difficult than he initially thought just minutes ago, wondering on what to say and, more importantly, how to say it. “I think I want to try and apply for that competition Jungkook found.”

Jimin briefly wonders how is it humanly possible for Hoseok to get up this quickly, the curiosity now replaced with excitement. “Wait, Jimin, are you serious? That’s amazing, I’m so-”

“I want you to go with me, if you’d like that.” God, that sounds way more demanding than he initially imagined and Hoseok, well, he looks confused to say the least.

“Of course I’d go with you, what are you talking abou-”

“I meant, dance with me. There. At the competition. But only if you want to.”

It feels like something heavy has been lifted off his shoulders when he finally says it. Jimin has been thinking about it for a while now, looking back at it it probably started back when they began dancing together. He imagined how nice it would be to show someone, even if it was a small audience like the one he’d expect at a competition like this, how good they are together, how amazing the choreography they’ve been working on looks like when it’s performed by people who understand each other this well.

Suddenly, going on stage doesn’t seem so scary anymore. Not when he’d be doing it with Hoseok by his side.

He’s spent the previous years blaming himself for something he had no control over and it took away a huge part of his happiness - it was only right that Jimin would finally reclaim it.

The silence that follows is stressing him out, he can’t exactly decypher Hoseok’s expression which gives him all the more reasons to regret bringing this up at all. Jimin slowly sits up, ready to run away if it’s necessary (although he’s probably just being overdramatic) and he can feel the older man’s eyes on him all the time, yet for some reason he’s too anxious to look at him again.

That is until Hoseok suddenly crouches in front of him. 

“I’d love to do that, Jimin.” His voice is full of emotions the pink-haired can’t exactly pinpoint, but it makes him feel all warm and giggly as he looks up. The older’s gaze is filled with so much pride and kindness Jimin feels like crying. “God, I wish I could hug you right now, I’m so proud of you.”

“Not yet” he finds himself saying, immediately noticing Hoseok’s surprise. 

“What do you mean?”

He’s been thinking about it for a while, it came along with him finally considering participating in that damn competition, when he started dancing with Hoseok. Jimin’s been stuck in his little cage made of his fears and darkness that he was supposed to leave back in Busan for way too long.

“I’m tired of being scared,” he says and much to his surprise, he doesn’t feel like crying. His voice isn’t about to crack. He’s sure of what he wants, for what feels like the first time in his life. “I don’t want to spend my life being terrified of strangers and being afraid of people that are close to me, like you. I was supposed to start a new life here, and instead, it’s like I’m stuck. I want to give myself a chance to finally be happy, and living in constant fear isn’t going to help me with that. I’m… I’m still worried and I don’t know when it will pass, maybe in weeks and maybe in years but I want to try. I don’t know what will happen if I end up finding my soulmate, but I don’t want to keep living in constant fear of finding them.”

He didn’t realize it before, but now he notices that there are tears streaming down his face, but for the first time in what feels like forever, they’re the happy ones and when he looks at Hoseok, he sees that the man is close to crying as well. 

They sit like that, watching each other, no words spoken but there are none needed at this moment. 

When Hoseok speaks up, after a long moment of silence, he sounds happy.

“I’m so proud of you. Take your time Jimin, it doesn’t matter how long it takes, I want to be here, by your side, when you overcome it.”

It only makes Jimin cry harder.

__________

When he tells Jungkook about the contest, deciding that the rest is a topic for a whole different conversation, the younger just screams into the phone and it’s so loud Jimin is worried about his hearing - it’s not the first time his friend decides that yelling to the phone while talking to him is a great idea.

Taehyung is just as excited, although he has the decency not to scream in Jimin’s ear, which the pink-haired is honestly thankful for. Instead, he texts the rest of their friends, telling them how they all have to go now. Which isn’t making Jimin even more about all this. Nope. Not at all.

He also tells Taehyung more about his father and they cry together before his friend decides that he’s had enough and they end up watching some stupid drama that’s currently playing on TV and eating ice cream.

It’s nice and it’s more than Jimin could ever ask for.

He spends all his free time in the practice room, either with Hoseok or on his own, because despite knowing that it wasn’t his fault, he doesn’t want to mess up this time. Not when he’s dancing with Hoseok. Not when he finally decided to do it.

He texts Jihyun and although the younger texts him that he won’t be able to come cheer on him, but he’ll keep his fingers crossed in Busan, he’s not sad. 

In a rush of adrenaline after one of the practices, he decides to a message to his mother as well. Hoseok is there to support him when he decides to do it and he’s also there when Jimin doesn’t get a response despite his message being marked as read.

The pink-haired doesn’t cry this time, which is surprising to him because he was so sure he would. Instead, he feels nothing.

Maybe he’s really letting it go.

__________

“Have you ever thought about any other color? I’m not saying pink doesn’t suit you” Taehyung says, the gloves on his hand covered in pink hair dye that he’s gradually covering Jimin’s hair with. “I have a feeling grey would suit you. Or like, red? Maybe orange? Are you even listening to me? Tell Hoseok I said hi.”

Jimin hums and sends the message before locking his phone. “How did you know I was talking to him?”

“Please, when are you not talking to him” Jimin can see Taehyung’s eye roll in the mirror in front of them. “So, why dyeing your hair? Why pink?”

Jimin sighs. Looking back at the story, it was stupid, but he kind of got used to the pink hair by now so he kept it. 

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“Shut up, Tae, is there anything I didn’t tell you before?”

Tae just smirks and continues covering his hair with obnoxiously pink hair dye.

“Well, I was mostly just sad that my eyes are going to be grey forever, so I thought, hey, why not make something else colorful? Hence the hair.”

Taehyung’s reflection looks at him before it nods.

“Okay, understandable, but why pink? You could’ve chosen orange…"

“That’s boring.”

“Red?”

“Too much effort in managing it, pink looks nice even when it’s washing out.”

“... Grey?"

“Same thing, it just makes your hair go white in the end.”

“I rest my case” Taehgyung throws his arms in the air and Jimin watches, with terror, the splotch of hair dye that flies from his glows right onto Taehyung’s hair, which makes the man stop moving almost immediately and just stare at his reflection with eyes wide open.

Jimin has to fight the urge to laugh at terrified Tae is. “Remove it, it won’t be visible anyway, your hair is too dark for this, you’d have to bleach it first.” 

But Taehyung doesn’t budge and it’s making Jimin slightly worried. Can one go into shock because of hair dye in their hair? Does that ever happen? 

“Taehyung?”

“Do you think I’d look nice with green hair?”

Jimin stares at Taehyung’s reflection with just as much surprise as he did just seconds ago.

They end up deciding not to dye Taehyung’s whole hair - instead, Jimin bleaches it to a lighter color (while praying to gods above for it to work because if he screws up Tae’s hair, he’s not going to forgive himself, and nor will Tae and Jin) and they dye a few strands with a blueish-green the man chose himself. It turns out surprisingly nice (although, with Taehyung’s face, he’d look nice in anything) and Jin seems to like it as well, judging by the screech that echoes in the entire apartment when Tae picks up the phone just after sending him a picture and turns on the speaker.

__________

The competition is getting closer and with each day, Jimin feels like he’s getting worse and worse. 

By now, he knows the choreography by heart and reacts to the music almost automatically but there’s still something wrong - he just can’t figure out what that something is.

A day before Jungkook is supposed to visit him, which is also a day before the contest, dear god , he’s in the middle of practice when a very surprised Hoseok opens the door, like he didn’t expect to see Jimin here. Ridiculous, considering the competition is tomorrow

“Jiminnie?” he doesn’t even wait for the music to stop, just enters the room and starts talking immediately - Jimin is going to kill him later. “What are you doing here?”

The pink-haired just rolls his eyes, not bothering to answer the older, not even considering dancing - he doesn’t have time for any talking, he has to get it all done by tomorrow.

The music stops and Jimin feels like punching a wall. Or Hoseok. Or both, he can’t decide.

“What the hell?” he almost yells at the elder.

“What do you think you’re doing, Jimin?”

“Practicing?” Isn’t it obvious? He’s getting more and more annoyed by the minute. He’s been like that, a bit twitchy, a bit anxious, for the past few days and now it’s about to explode, whether Jimin wants it or not. 

He doesn’t. Hoseok doesn’t deserve this. 

It’s not like the contest is that big or that important - or well, it is, for Jimin, but still.

“When was the last time you’ve eaten?”

Well, that was unexpected. 

Jimin takes a second too long to answer, not really sure about what time it is now, how is he supposed to remember things like that? 

Hoseok just huffs and drops his bag to the floor, then crouches and starts rummaging through it, before he obtains a bottle of water and a sandwich. 

Jimin was expecting lecture, not food, but he’s not going to complain. He sighs and gets closer to his friend, sits down on the floor close enough to be able to reach him, but not enough for them to touch. The pink-haired takes the sandwich, mouthing a ‘thank you’ before he starts eating it and Hoseok just smiles before his expression goes serious again.

“I know this means a lot to you, Jiminnie” Jimin has learned not to blush at the cute nickname, although it still makes him feel all soft and smiling. “I really do. But you can’t overwork yourself like that.”

Jimin wants to interrupt, but Hoseok raises his hand to stop him.

“I know you’re not going to believe, but you’ve done enough, more than enough actually. You’ve practiced for days now, everything’s perfect even if you don’t see it. And you know I’m a perfectionist, you’ve worked with me.”

Jimin does know. He can recall all the times Hoseok forced him to stay longer than they were supposed to just so they could practice something more, just so they could make that one move that just wasn’t working perfectly. When they were practicing, he became extremely strict and Jimin could see that he’s truly someone who absolutely loves what he’s doing and will sacrifice anything and everything to achieve what he wants.

“You worked so hard, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so dedicated to something Jimin. Before, when I had to practice with anyone that wasn’t you or the kids” he smiles fondly at the mention and Jimin can see just how much Hoseok loves teaching children. “When I had to practice with other people, I usually ended up just straight up yelling at them. I got… I got frustrated when someone didn’t try hard enough and even if it worked in the end, it was tiring.”

Jimin has heard rumors about how strict Hoseok could be when performing with other people - just how he heard about the man in the first place. He was like a legend, but now, it was a legend Jimin had a chance to work with - and he wasn’t nearly as scary as Jimin was told. 

“It wasn’t like that with you.”

Jimin can’t fight the blush this time.

“You’re so hardworking and willing to try, to challenge yourself, it’s refreshing. I’ve never met anyone so focused on something, so full of passion like you’re filled with the love for dance. We never argued, we just discussed things, and you did amazing. It’s perfect, there’s nothing more you or I could’ve done. So please, turn off the speakers and just go home once you finish eating, or you know, I’ll just drive you back. You’ve got a long day ahead of you, we both do, I want to see you well-rested tomorrow.”

Hoseok really drives him home after that, despite Jimin protesting, saying something about it being late and the pink-haired being tired, although he stopped understanding what the other is saying long ago - shit, he really might be tired after all. The pink-haired learns that it’s not Hoseok’s car (as if the elder could ever afford a car like that ), and he just borrowed it from Jin to make all the moving around planned for the next day a bit easier.

He takes a nap during their drive home, even though it’s not that far - but with it being the evening, the streets are a bit busier than usual.

When they finally arrive, Jimin barely has the energy to keep his eyes open - Hoseok was right about him needing rest, but he didn’t realize it up until now.

He doesn’t want to leave the car, however, because staying there means staying with Hoseok and well, that sounds much better than going to his currently empty flat, since Taehyung is staying over at Jin’s place (and Jimin is still not used to Seokjin being one of his friends, but now it’s the other way around - whenever they talk or text, Jimin completely forgets that the man is famous and then goes out to the streets and suffers from a temporary shock each time his friend’s huge face stares back at him from the billboards).

“Jiminnie, it’s time to go” Hoseok’s voice brings him back to earth and he has to bite back a comment on how much he loves the nickname. “You’re about to fall asleep again.”

He just sighs before getting up from his seat.

“Goodnight, hyung.

“Goodnight, Jiminnie. See you tomorrow.”

__________

He’s fidgeting.

Jungkook should be there any moment now, and Jimin is, well, nervous. Or maybe it’s just the excitement - after all, he hasn’t seen his friend for months now. 

Hoseok is waiting for them back in the car (and a driving Hoseok is something Jimin still has to get used to, because damn ). He doesn’t even know why exactly they’re driving - it’s not like they can’t take the subway. Hoseok mentioned something about it being too much effort and how you can’t see the city from the underground, so at least Jungkook will be able to see bits of it this way. Which, theoretically, makes sense, but still - driving around Seoul is not the most efficient of ways. Still, if Hoseok’s willing to drive them around, Jimin is not going to complain.

He finally spots Jungkook in the crowd and almost screams with happiness, already running toward his friend. The younger doesn’t seem to notice him until the very last moment, his eyes going ridiculously huge with happiness that immediately turns to terror, realizing that Jimin’s running at him and has no intent to stop.

Jimin just launches himself at Jungkook, praying to the gods above that the younger will catch him - and when he does, the pink-haired giggles. 

Jungkook spins them around a few times with Jimin still laughing like a madman - he really did miss his friend. Some people are staring at them, but he doesn’t care, doesn’t stop laughing either. 

“Just so you know, I’m not going to carry you to wherever we’re going, so you have to get off me sooner or later” is the first thing Jungkook says. Then, after a moment of hesitation, he adds: “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Kook.”

It gets quite frantic after that.

Since Jungkook’s train arrived late into the day (Jimin tried to convince him to take the earlier one, to no avail), they don’t really have time to go home - instead, all of them, including Jin who miraculously found some time to go with the rest and see their friends competing, agreed to meet in a restaurant near the venue for lunch . Jimin is suddenly too nervous to participate in the conversation entirely, only throwing bits of comments here and there, but he listens to them. He’s not sure what’s making him more anxious - the competition or the fact that Jungkook, his childhood best friend, is about to meet his new friends, who already mean so much to him. It’s probably both.

They talk about dancing, Jungkook visibly trying not to freak out over the fact that he’s finally met Hoseok (although the pink-haired phone keeps blowing up from all the messages the younger is sending him). Jungkook tells Hoseok a bit about himself and the other does the same in return.

They get along just fine, Jungkook’s eyes are practically sparkling with excitement and he laughs so much it makes Jimin smile as well. He missed hanging out with his younger friend, even if he didn’t realize it up until now.

The venue isn’t that far from the station, but the traffic makes them travel for longer than it’d take by subway - Jimin ends up bickering with Hoseok over how this was a horrible idea hyung, we’re going to be late , the older responding with shut up Jimin, we’re almost there and we still have a lot of time, stop interrupting me before I cause an accident and we all die - which, theoretically, has no chance of happening because of the reason they started ‘arguing’ in the first place - all the traffic.

Everyone’s already there when they reach the restaurant, so they are kind late. All of Jimin’s nervousness over all six of his friends meeting up disappears almost immediately. 

They easily welcome Jungkook into the conversation that was already going (after Taehyung jumping out of his seat and running to give Jimin’s best friend a hug as soon as they entered the place, after which everyone introduced themselves quickly before continuing talking) and after a while, it feels like they’ve all known each other for years. They order food, going into an argument over the toppings on pizzas, with Taehyung, Jungkook and Hoseok being especially loud on the matter - and Jimin is happy. He’s so thankful for having met all those people and even if they, except for Jungkook, weren’t there before, back in Busan, when he was struggling the most - they’re here now when he’s recovering from all of it.

Food arrives so late Jimin and Hoseok have to eat it quickly, while the rest keeps talking with an exception of Yoongi, who keeps throwing curious glances in the general direction of Jungkook and it’s after Jimin notices the older doing it, he realizes that Yoongi hasn’t said a word except for greetings and some comments thrown there and there. But then again, Yoongi isn’t the most talkative around strangers from what Jimin managed to notice up until now, so he decides it must just be that. It’s not that the older is rude or ignores them - he’s listening, nodding from time to time, but that’s just it.

It all goes to shit the moment Jimin and Hoseok have to leave for the venue and Namjoon, who was sitting next to them, decides to go to the toilet (Jungkook wanted to sit there as well, but as soon as Taehyung let him go from the hug, he declared Kook as ‘his baby’ and therefore, the youngest was forced to sit on the other side of the table).

They stay in the restaurant until the moment Namjoon comes back, and that’s when it happens. The man is making his way back at the same time Jungkook stands up to wish both Jimin and Hoseok good luck, and the older trips over what must be his own feet since there’s nothing else in his way. It’s no surprise, really - by now, everyone has gotten used to Namjoon’s slight clumsiness, it’s all about what happens afterward.

Jungkook is quick to catch the tripping man so that he won’t fall on his face and Namjoon ends up blushing furiously, while Jimin sees that Jungkook is ready to laugh it off. Hoseok’s gasp, however, makes him realize that the other Namjoon’s eye, the one that was grey just until moments ago, is brown now. No one at the table seemed to notice, they are already laughing at Namjoon tripping over nothing, but neither he nor Jungkook move from where they’re frozen in their places.Jimin turns around to see Yoongi, who’s still sitting at the table, seemingly oblivious to what just happened, laughing along to something Jin has just said. 

There’s no way…

“Yoongi” Namjoon finally speaks up, not dropping shocked his gaze from Jungkook for even a second. “Baby, can you please come over here?”

Yoongi freezes in his spot and Jin along with Taehyung go silent almost immediately. Finally, the man gets up and moves from the table.

He notices Namjoon’s eye even before approaching them and suddenly, there’s terror written on his face.

Jimin’s gaze travels to Jungkook, but from where he’s standing, he can’t see much - not even whether the younger’s eye color changed. 

“What the fuck” Yoongi whispers and grabs Jungkook’s hand that’s still holding Namjoon in place, with more force than necessary. He’s scared , Jimin briefly realizes, but who wouldn’t be? 

They all, along with Taehyung and Jin, who seem to have realized what’s happening by now, watch Yoongi’s grey eye turn icy blue.

They’re all silent after that, at least for a moment, and it seems like the time stopped. No one says anything, no one moves.

“It’s you” Namjoon finally chokes out, while Yoongi repeats his ‘what the fuck’. “Oh god, it’s you.”

Jimin finally moves after that, jumps to stand in next to Jungkook, puts his hands on both sides of his head and forces his friend to move around so that he can see.

Jungkook’s huge, terrified eyes are green. 

Before Jimin can say anything, he hears Hoseok’s voice, telling him that they have to go, now, that they can’t be late for this, but Jimin just shakes his head. He wants to stay, needs to stay, has to be here to support his best friend (even if there’s nothing to be worried about, Namjoon and Yoongi are the kindest people he’s ever met), he can’t leave after something like that . 

Finally, the terror in Jungkook’s eyes gets replaced with something else entirely, something Jimin can’t quite pinpoint but it’s there. 

“Go, hyung,” he says, his voice so quiet and soft, unlike his usual loud, obnoxious presence. “I’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure?” 

Jimin honestly doesn’t know what to say, or what to think, at this point. All of this is so unexpected and he has to leave and oh god, Namjoon and Yoongi are-

“They’re my soulmates” Jungkook responds with the softest smile Jimin’s ever seen. “I’ll be fine.”

At the words ‘soulmates’ Jin gets up, dragging Taehyung along with him and then grabs one of Jimin’s hands that are still on Jungkook’s face. 

“Come on, Jimin” Seokjin speaks up with that weirdly calming voice of his. “They have a lot of talking to do.”

Jimin finally drops his gaze from Jungkook’s face and looks at his older friend, realizing that he and Taehyung managed to pack some of the food to takeaway containers they found god knows where. It’s when Jimin finally realizes that yeah, they should probably leave, as the initial shock disappears. 

Jimin can still hear Jungkook's voice for a while before he leaves. 

"So... Jiminnie was right, you really do look like a kitten."

Yeah, Jimin thinks. They'll be fine.

__________

He’s freaking out. 

When Jungkook sent him a message about the competition, he never expected it to be this big. There are so many people there, why on earth did he agree to do something like this, he’s freaking out.

Jimin’s sitting in front of the mirror at the backstage (they have mirrors there, it’s huge, why didn’t he research this before), Hoseok is nowhere to be seen and he’s panicking .

Looking back at it, he could’ve guessed. They had to send an application video, after all and maybe he’s just panicking? The auditorium seems huge, sure, but doesn’t it always seem like that when you’re the one standing on the stage?

It’s organized by some other dance studio and Jimin doesn’t exactly know the details - he figured out that the less he knew, the better (which wasn’t a good idea in the end, since he’s freaking out now, right before going on to the stage).

“You’re going to do great, Jiminnie” he hears a voice behind him and brings his gaze up to look in Hoseok’s eyes. Grey eyes. Jimin sometimes wonders what color they’re going to turn whenever he finds his soulmate.

The thought of Hoseok finding his other half, his soulmate, someone that was destined for him terrifies Jimin, yet he doesn’t know why. All he wants is his friend’s happiness, yet this particular thought makes him shiver, almost. 

“I don’t know” he whispers, looking down on his hands that he didn’t know were shaking. “I feel like I could’ve done more, or practiced more. What if I screw up again?”

He hears a sigh, but not the annoyed one - more than anything, the man sounds worried, and then a chair next to him moves before Hoseok sits down on it.

“There’s nothing more you could have possibly done without overworking yourself, which doesn’t make sense at all. You practiced day and night, we both did, why are you being so hard on yourself? I know that you want it to be perfect, Jiminnie, but it already is. Besides” he can hear the man smile. “I practiced just as much as you did, are you saying I should’ve practiced more?”

Jimin finally looks up, only for Hoseok to see his eyeroll. “You know that’s not what I meant. Besides, you’re… you.”

“Jimin.”

“I was always falling a little behind, I always had to practice more. I was always-”

“Jimin, stop this” Hoseok’s strict voice brings him back to earth. “Were you falling behind, or did you tell yourself that?”

Jimin doesn’t have a response to that. No one ever told him that he was worse than the others, at least not to his face - on the contrary, he received so many compliments each time.

It still felt like it wasn’t enough.

“You’re one of the greatest dancers I’ve ever seen, and I’m not just saying that because we’re close, Jimin. You worked hard to be where you are now, and it shows. I know that you’ll never feel like you’re doing enough, barely anyone ever does believe, but I honestly think you have nothing to worry about. Don’t you dare compare yourself to me, to your friends, to anyone ever again.”

Before he has a chance to answer, however, Hoseok smiles. 

“I came here to say that we’re next, so you better move your cute ass out of that chair before I have to force you.”

__________

The stage is a bit bigger than he expected it to be. He can’t see anyone from the audience with the lights being directed at them, but he knows they’re there. It makes him feel a bit better, a little bit calmer - he’s not going to see their reactions if he fails.

He shakes his head, just a bit, just so that no one will be able to notice. He’s not going to fail. They practiced so hard and for so long, he basically knows the choreography by muscle memory now. There’s nothing that can go wrong, except for random accident that he cannot control - because after hours of practicing and even more hours of talking to Hoseok he’s grown to accept the fact that this is what his twisted ankle all these years ago was, just an accident.

The lights shift and just before the music starts he can hear Hoseok’s calm “you’re going to do great”.

Music starts.

The second it begins, Jimin forgets about the audience completely - it’s like they’re back at the practice and there’s no one there except for him, music, and Hoseok. Every move, every step, comes naturally for him like he’s been doing this his whole life - and in a way, he has, but not like this, not with Hoseok by his side and even if he’s never felt like something was missing, he now knows it was.

It’s over before he has the time to realize it. He stops in his final position, the music ends and just like that, it’s done. All the hours of hard work and training, all the hours of laughter and dance, led up to this 

And he managed to do it just right.

There are applause and cheers somewhere in the background but he can’t hear it clearly, still overwhelmed with emotions and adrenaline, still in shock from all the emotions that hit him at once. There’s a happy Hoseok in front of him, saying something that Jimin can’t quite understand and he moves to exit the stage before he realizes that he still has to turn around and bow before that. He does that, turns around again, and then he’s off the stage.

There are people left and right, congratulating him and Jimin can’t even be bothered to tell them to stop touching him, for fucks sake, but he hears Hoseok’s voice commanding others to do that and he’s grateful.

“HYUNG!” 

He can see Jungkook running in his direction (where did he come from? The competition didn’t end yet), Namjoon and Yoongi are walking behind him with smiles on their faces (oh god, did their talk go well? He’ll have to ask) and there’s a just as much excited Taehyung on their side. 

Suddenly, he’s being picked up from the ground and he almost protests before he realizes that it’s Jungkook, which makes sense, he was just running towards him.

“You did so well, Jimin, you both did so well!” They’re spinning around now and Jimin honestly feels like throwing up from all the emotions. “I’m so proud of you both”

“Put me down Jungkook” he finally speaks out weakly. “Before I puke on you.”

__________

They’re sitting in Jin’s apartment, all of them in various states of drunk, and Jimin still can’t cope with what happened just a few hours ago.

When Jungkook finally put him down he was truly close to throwing up. All the shock started to vanish as his friends congratulated them one after another.

The only thing Jimin could focus on, however, was Hoseok’s blindingly bright smile. He’s seen the man smile, he’s seen him happy on multiple occasions, but nothing ever compared to how bright he looked in that very moment - Jimin had to fight the urge to hug him right there on the spot. He still wasn’t ready.

They won and he once again went into some weird kind of shocked - Jungkook had to practically push him back to the stage. 

It was a mess of yelling, congratulations, laughter, and happiness after that.

And this is how they ended up here, in Jin’s apartments, with drinks so they could celebrate but Jimin didn’t feel like drinking anything at all.

Jin and Taehyung are gone god knows where doing god knows what - Jimin would rather not know, while Namjoon, Jungkook, and Yoongi are all squished on the couch, with Kook sitting on the tallest’s lap and having his legs thrown over Yoongi’s legs - Jimin idly realizes that they’re being obnoxiously close with each other, which must mean that their talk went well - he’ll have to ask Jungkook about it later.

And there's, of course, Hoseok, next to him but still not close enough. Just like yesterday, Jimin's still afraid of touching him but right now he realizes he doesn't even need to. The pride he sees in his friend 's eyes is more precious than the award they've won.

__________

Jungkook leaves two days after that, but he spends more of that time with Namjoon and Yoongi rather than Jimin - and the pink-haired can’t blame him for that. He’s more than happy for his friends, seeing how stupidly happy they are themselves - with Jungkook constantly texting him about how ‘they’re so amazing hyung’ to which he usually jokingly responds with ‘of course you’d think that, they’re your soulmates’. 

They spend the last evening together, at Namjoon’s, Yoongi’s and Hoseok’s shared flat and although it was meant for them to spend as two only, there’s a grumpy Yoongi coming over every now and then asking them whether they need anything and in general, bothering them up until Jimin giggles and just tells him to stay with them instead of creeping around. The older ends up sitting next to Jungkook and putting his head on his lap, demanding attention, and Jimin has to stop himself from cooing at how cute the duo is.

When Jungkook leaves the next day, Namjoon and Yoongi are there at the station and once again, Jimin is internally dying from how cute they all are. The youngest promises multiple times that he’ll visit soon (and when Jimin jokes that he never promised that to him and jokingly punches the younger in the chest, Yoongi looks like he’s about to start a riot) and that he will try his best to get to university in Seoul next year.

Jimin can’t stop the single tear that escapes his eye because he’s so happy for his best friends. Namjoon and Yoongi are, honestly, the best soulmates he could ever find and he’s more than happy for him.

Something inside him wishes that he could experience that as well.

__________

Jimin is sitting in the kitchen, head on the table because of how exhausted he is after all the exams that he, miraculously, survived, when a very loud and obnoxious Seokjin enters the room.

“WE’RE GOING ON A TRIP” he practically screams out and Jimin quickly considers all the pros and cons of killing a person because wow, that was loud.

“What?” he raises his head from the table and the world, for some reason, spins. He really needs to get some sleep soon before he actually passes out, wow, Hoseok is going to kick his ass for this.

“You’re done with the exams, the rest is as well, and I have no schedules plan for the next two weeks, therefore, next Monday, we’re going for a trip.”

This doesn’t make sense.

“I don’t really have money for that, you know.”

That’s a lie. He just won an award at the competition, he’s clearly not thinking straight at this point, but no one after this many exams would be, to be honest.

“Miss me with that shit, Jimin, first of all, yes you do, second, if you didn’t I’d pay, third, we’re going camping!” Jin is way too excited for this hour. What time is it anyway? He might have passed out at some time, although he’s not exactly sure. 

Jin leaves the kitchen before Jimin has the time to mention that he doesn’t even have a tent. 

Hours later, when Taehyung comes back, he excitedly informs Jimin (who still feels a bit dead inside, but at least he managed to take a little nap) that Jin entering their kitchen with an announcement of them going on a trip was, in fact, not a hallucination like the pink-haired thought it was. 

“Namjoon and Yoongi already messaged Jungkook and he’s coming as well!” Taehyung seems to be even more excited that his always chirpy and happy boyfriend if that’s even possible.

They spend the next week planning it all - Jin finds a forest where it's allowed to go camping, just outside Seoul. They go shopping, bickering over what they will need and what they won't and Jimin?

He's actually excited for this.

__________

It happens one evening in the middle of the trip. Jimin leaves his friends who are currently sitting around a bonfire with Jin and Jungkook singing their lungs out and their respective boyfriends staring at them with literal stars in their eyes, which is disgustingly cute.

“I’m just gonna go for a little walk around” he announces with a smile because really, he loves the forest and it’s been a while since he’s been out in the wild like that - he wants to make the most of it. It’s not like spending time with the six people who easily claimed their places as the most important people in his life isn’t enough for him - lately, so many thoughts have been clouding his head that he just feels the need to spend some time alone.

Unfortunately, the main object of the mess that are his thoughts, decides to go with him as well.

Hoseok gives everyone his signature heart smile before he takes off after Jimin and the pink-haired swears he could see Taehyung wiggling his eyebrows. He's going to kick the younger's ass as soon as he comes back.

The thing about walking around with him is that Jimin doesn't need to say a word. The silence isn't uncomfortable at all, quite the opposite - it's nice, it's calming. It's already been a while since Jimin realized that he doesn't need words for Hoseok to understand him - and it scares Jimin, a lot.

It terrifies him, how close he's gotten to the man, the thought of Hoseok potentially finding his soulmate one day makes the pink-haired freak out beyond any control. Before, it didn't bother him, but now it does and he doesn't know why.

He knows why.

The train of thoughts in his head is stopped by a single drop of rain that drops right onto his nose.

"Uh, Hoseok?" he turns around in light speed and immediately notices how surprised the man is that Jimin finally decided to speak up. "Do you know where we are?"

The terror in the man's eyes is the answer.

Jimin takes his phone out of his jeans' pocket only to realize there's no signal. He can't call anyone and the rain, well, is getting heavier with each second. 

"There's no signal," he says, voice barely above a whisper and his mind goes straight into panic mode because wow, they're really going to die here, in the woods.

"I'm so sorry Jimin" Hoseok's voice is so quiet that the pink-haired feels bad about it. It's not his fault. It's not anyone's fault, or maybe it's their both. He should have paid more attention to where they were going. 

"It's not your fault Hoseok, shut up, it's just... oh my god what are we supposed to do now?" His voice is, at this point, barely louder than the pouring rain around them and they're both getting more and more soaked with each second. "I don't know where to go now and-"

"There's a cabin over there" Hoseok's straight-up yelling now in order to be heard.

Jimin doesn't think, he just runs.

Before they reach the cabin, which looks to be abandoned at least months ago, the water's dripping from their clothes and Jimin is shaking with how cold he is, his teeth clattering. Even if they do survive the storm, which wasn't in the weather forecast, for god's sake, of course he checked it, he's going to die from flu or whatever is going to attack his body next. 

It is abandoned.

The doors are open and there's still some rusty, old, covered in dust furniture inside. Hell, there's a bed even, with some covers that might actually save them before they both positively freeze to death.

They're both standing in the middle of the cabin, with no idea what to do next. They have nothing to change to, the only way they can get warm is to get those covers that were used by god knows who and the mere thought makes Jimin flinch - but it's better to do that than just stand there. They're going to get sick anyway, but there's no need to suffer more than it's necessary.

So Jimin does just that - moves from the middle of the cabin gets one of the covers for himself and offers one to Hoseok, who takes it without any word. It's not awkward, but he feels the tension in the air and has no idea how to clear it, even though he knows he's the reason with his overthinking, overreacting, and being too dramatic in general.

Hoseok speaks up first, some time later, Jimin's not exactly sure how much passed, when they're sitting next to each other, not quite close enough to touch, with Jimin staring blankly into the wall in front of them, still shivering like he's seconds away from dying.

"You're shaking so much, Jimin."

The pink-haired just nods, not having the power to even answer the man. For some reason, he's exhausted and he's also cold. Jimin's tired of this, of all this, just wants to go home, get out of the wet clothes, take a bath maybe and go to sleep, for weeks preferably.

Hoseok, on the other hand, looks to be in a way better state than him, at least he's not shaking anymore. His hair is still a bit wet and the shirt that he decided to just get rid of since it won't be useful with how soaked it is is laying on the ground. Jimin decided to keep everything on which, looking back at it, wasn't the best idea - but he's not capable of thinking straight at this point. All his worries, everything is gone and the only thing in his mind is how cold he is.

Hoseok sighs.

"I'm so sorry Jimin, but I'm not letting you freeze like this."

The pink-haired wants to ask what the man is sorry for but he doesn't have time to do it before Hoseok moves closer to him and takes his hand. 

He freezes. 

This is it, Jimin realizes. He didn't want them to touch like this, just because they need to, not want to. Jimin imagined this moment, this exact moment, so many times in his head but it was never like this. It was supposed to be beautiful, not forced, not like this. He's mad at himself, for being like this, coming up with leaving their group, for not checking where he was going, for being so stuck in his head that they both got lost. It feels like it's all his fault, he ruined it, he ruined it all and-

The pink-haired gathers up the courage and turns around to look at Hoseok.

His eyes are brown.

Jimin takes a shuddering breath at the same time as Hoseok gasps. The grip around his hand loosens up and then it disappears completely, Hoseok's hand is on his cheek now instead and he realizes that there are tears streaming down his face that weren't there just seconds ago. He doesn't know whether they're happy tears, they have to be, this is something he never had the courage to dream of.

"It's you" he finally chokes out. "It's you, Hoseok."

The surprise on the man's face disappears and a soft smile replaces it instead.

"Of course it's me, Jiminnie," he whispers. "Or at least I was praying it would be me."

After a moment of silence, his mind completely black, quite the opposite of the mess it was just seconds ago, Jimin laughs.

He's laughing like he's never had before, because this is it, this is the moment he was dreading and he was so terrified of and yet, everything feels right. There's no terror, no fright and it is replaced by pure bliss and happiness that he's never, ever experienced in his life. All the fear he always felt when he imagined meeting his soulmate, the way he would freeze almost instantly at the mere thought - it's all gone and there's nothing but peace and joy.

Hoseok keeps smiling at him, wiping the tears still spilling from Jimin's eyes with his fingers, trying to be as delicate as possible, and he looks like he's seconds from laughing himself.

He doesn't know how much time they spend like this - with Jimin laughing like crazy while still crying at the same time, because he just can't contain it, can't control the happiness that he's feeling, with Hoseok so ready to wipe the tears from his cheeks, smiling softly, his eyes full of nothing else than love.

When he finally stops laughing and the older looks like he's about to say something, Jimin doesn't let him - instead, he launches himself at Hoseok, finally able to hug him, to touch him, like he's been dreaming of for weeks now - but nothing he's ever imagined could be compared to how it feels in reality.

They're going to be okay.

Jimin knows they're going to be fine.

He has nothing to fear, not with Hoseok with him, by his side, with Hoseok being his soulmate, the one destined for him that he was so scared of finding and yet feels so happy when he finally did.

Jimin falls asleep in Hoseok's arms that night.

__________

He dreams about colors.

There's no exact place that he could pinpoint, it doesn't look like a part of the earth they live on. There's pink and blue, green and red, all the colors he can imagine and they're all around him, with no exact shape of form, it's more like just a place that's simply filled with colors. Colors he was scared he would be devoid of if he didn't find his soulmate, but now it's like he can see everything from a completely different perspective and he knows that he's been missing something his whole life but it's here now and he never wants it to disappear.

Jimin's dancing.

Right in front of him, with him, Hoseok is too.