Chapter Text
"Why should you be held to a different standard than any other side?"
Virgil new this was coming. God he hated it.
"Because... I was one of them." Virgil waited. For any reaction. Any kind of reaction would've been better than what he got. Silence.
Thomas just stared at him in shocked silence and Virgil hated it. He hated himself so much right now. Why did he say it? It's not like Thomas would accept him anymore. It was useless information. The only thing it would do is make Thomas hate Virgil even more than he already does. He knows. He knows, he knows, he knows and his best reaction is silence. Say something damn it!
Giving up, Virgil decided to just excuse himself from this mess, allowing Thomas to give an uncomfortable end to the video. Virgil ended up in the commons of the mind palace where the others were hanging out. When they saw him standing in the middle of the room, they smiled at him.
"Another successful video." Logan claimed.
"Maybe for you." Roman grumbled and Patton nodded, pursing his lips but they both laughed.
"Virgil, what did you th- Virgil?" Logan turned to Virgil for his opinion but was greeted with tears streaming down the younger side's face. Virgil touched his face, not even realizing he was crying. With that he ran up to his room quickly before any of the other sides could say another word.
"What's wrong with him?" Roman asked, concern etched on his face.
"Should we go check on him?" Patton asked. He, Roman and Logan sat in an uncomfortable silence as the pondered the question. Should they? Or will they just make everything worse?
"I'm not good with this feels kind of stuff. I don't think I sh-"
"We'll all go up." Roman said, standing and heading towards the stairs, not even stopping to make sure they were following. Patton and Logan looked at each other and quickly followed behind.
Roman knocked on the door and strained his ears for anything. He didn't hear a thing which made his nerves worse. "Virgil, are you in there? Can I come in?" No answer. He turned to the other two who seemed to look helpless. Suddenly, a sob raked through the silence and Patton went full dad mode.
"Virgil? I'm coming in." Patton tried the door to find it locked. He glared at the lock as if he wouldn't even so much as hesitate to cut through it to get to his dark strange son. Patton began ramming into the door, trying to break it down. Roman grinned at the gesture but Logan stared on disapprovingly.
"Patton, that's not wise. You can't just break down the door."
"BUT MY SON NEEDS ME!" he insisted and so Logan didn't argue. Only when Patton heard a whimper behind the door did he stop.
"Leave me alone." they heard from behind the door, barely audible. Patton hesitated. He sounded so miserable. So now he was stuck between the two choices. Leave his son in there alone to suffer... alone. Or break down the door, and attempt to comfort him, going against his wishes. Patton shivered. Both of those sounded horrible but his dad instinct took over.
"I'm sorry kiddo but your hurting. I can't just leave you." Patton called. He looked to Roman for help and Roman nodded, knowing what he had to do. Patton backed away and Roman backed up against the wall, thrusting his arm out in front of him and ran to the door.
Click.
The door opened as Roman ran full speed into Virgil's room and into Virgil. Roman fell on top of Virgil with enough force to knock the wind out of him. Roman quickly got off of him, blushing from embarrassment. Virgil wheezed and coughed. He squeezed his eyes shut from the force of his racking coughs. His chest hurt and tears now fell from coughing.
"Oh my god I'm so sorry I didn't mean to, I can make it up to you I swe-"
"Pri-" Cough "Princey, don't try and break my door down, ever again." and with that he got up, breathing heavily.
"I- I'm sorry, Kiddo, that was my idea. I'm sorry I was just worried."
"It- it's fine, I just..." His voice trailed off as he thought about how to explain to them. "I told him and he just-" a tear rolled down his already bloodshot eyes.
"Told who what?" Roman asked, taking a small, curious step towards him. Virgil scooted slightly away, anxiously.
"Thomas. I- I t- told him th- that I'm one o- of them." Virgil sobbed. Patton came over to him.
"Can I touch you?" Virgil nodded and he was immediately engulfed in Patton's arms. He shook in them but tried so hard not to cry. "Kiddo... if you don't mind me asking," Patton started after a few seconds of silence. "but why is that so bad? You're becoming more open and trusting! This is great!" Virgil shook his head into Patton's chest.
"He just... h- he j- just stood there. He just stared at me, Patton. He looked at me and said nothing. I shouldn't have told him. I shouldn't have told him, God, it was a mistake. A horrible horrible mistake. I'll never be able to take back what I said. I- I'll never b- be a- able to r- rid o- o- of th- that look." Virgil shuddered and a heart wrenching sob tore through him. He crumbled onto the ground and wrapped his arms around himself in efforts to calm down, unsuccessful.
Thomas hates you.
Dark sides are nothing but a nuisance.
You're the worst of them all.
And now he knows, on top of being the literal embodiment of Anxiety, you are also a dark side. A horrible nuisance. Something they could do without. A N U I S A N C E.
You should've stayed with the dark sides. You have no place here.
Another sob and soon he was crying, uncontrollable whimpers and cries. As he slipped into a panic attack, he barely registered Roman picking him up and quickly getting him to his bed. The 3 sides stared at the heart broken side with helplessness. Roman took Virgil's hand and started tapping a rhythm. 4, 7, 8. 4, 7, 8. After an agonizing 10 minutes, Virgil started to calm down at the steady rhythm of taps on his hand, his breathing starting to follow along.
When he was able to talk, he looked to them and started whimpering apologies. "I'm sorry you have to deal with my incessant rambling. I'm such a fucking nuisance." Patton felt a tear roll down his own face. He didn't even acknowledge the swearword. Roman squeezed Virgil's hand, having not let go yet.
"Virgil, you are in no way a nuisance. I don't understand what makes you think that, but whatever it is, I shall slay it." Virgil huffed at Roman's dramatic statement and he leaned tiredly into Roman.
"Was it a good idea to tell him?" Virgil asked, weakly. Roman was about to state that it was but looked up at the others. They seemed to have their doubts.
"I have no idea. But," Roman continued, feeling him tense up. "your intentions were good. You opened up to him. I guess only you could decide if it was a good idea." Much to Roman's delight, Virgil relaxed into Roman's chest. These were moments where Roman noticed what Patton constantly saw in him. He was curled up like a kitten and he had this slight purr, deep down in his throat whenever he was relaxed. Roman breathed a laugh and looked up at the others.
Patton was cooing and even Logan had a small smile. Small but it was there. Roman wrapped his arms around the small side and was about to say something but realized just how relaxed the side was. And the snoring. Roman picked him up very slowly and lied him down in his bed.
"I think I should go talk to Thomas. Anyone in disagreement?" Logan asked. When he got no answer he nodded a farewell and sank out.
Patton and Roman looked at each other and gave each other their sadness, awkwardness and relief all in one smile. Patton sat down on the floor and leaned his back on Virgil's bed. Roman joined him and they both sat there in a comfortable silence, listening to Virgil's light snoring and the rustling in his bed as he twitched in his sleep. Soon after they had sat down, they too were asleep.
Logan popped up in Thomas' bedroom who looked up astonished at the appearance of his Logical side.
"Mmmmm, what's up, Logan?" he asked, curiously.
"Could I please talk to you about Virgil?" Thomas quirked an eyebrow.
"Is something wrong?"
"Ah, that's the thing. I'm not quite sure." Thomas squinted.
"Deceit?"
"I can assure you, I am not Deceit. What makes you think that?"
"You know everything."
"How bold of you to assume that. Do you really think that your logic knows everything?"
"Ouch. Okay, it's you, what's wrong with Virge?"
"When Virgil told you he used to be... one of them, why exactly did you stay silent?" Thomas cringed.
"You saw that?"
"No, Virgil told us." Logan was quiet as he awaited an answer.
"I- I was just shocked."
"At what, exactly?"
"What do you mean?"
"The fact that he was one of them or the fact that he told you at all?" Thomas pondered this for a second.
"Both I guess."
"And why didn't you elicit a response to this? Virgil is quite upset over your silence. I'm fairly sure he believes you think low of him because of this." Logan stated almost sadly.
"D- did I hurt him? I- I didn't mean to! Where is he? Can I apologize to him?"
"He's asleep in his room. Roman and Patton are with him." Thomas sighed sadly and rubbed his face.
"I- I'm so sorry. Can I talk to him when he wakes up?"
"That all depends on him. I'll inform him of your request but he has to decide whether to come out or not."
"He already has, he's gay."
"You know that's not what I meant." Thomas sighed and nodded. With that, Logan sank back into Virgil's room. He found 3 sleeping sides. Roman had his head majestically leaning back, his mouth open and snoring loud enough to be heard over a cyclone and Patton had ended up leaning on Roman's shoulder. Logan slightly blushed at the sight but quickly got back his composure when he saw Patton stir. Patton groggily sat up and looked up at Logan. He rubbed his eyes and tilted his head.
"What did Thomas say?" Logan tried to keep his composure this time at the sight of the moral side. He thought he could but just to make sure he cleared his throat before talking.
"He said he was sorry and that he wished to talk to Virgil after he wakes up." Logan whispered, trying not to wake the others.
"And...?"
"That's completely up to Virgil." Patton nodded and stood up, leaving a snoring Roman on the floor and Virgil looking more calm than he has in a while.