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I wasn’t one to jump into relationships easily, friends or more, close or far; it’s so hard for me to trust people. With you, though, it was so easy. I could talk and laugh, sidling up right beside you and not feeling anything more or less of it. I could smile and giggle, show you my art and give you my heart- oh how I hadn’t realized that I’d fallen for you. The days passed by slowly afterwards, as if in slow-motion, and my heart broke every time I saw you because I knew that I wasn’t yours, and you weren’t mine.
I’d never mind the times, though, where we’d sit together and just pass the time in one another’s company, enjoying the comfortable silences that stretched out between us as our fingers were millimeters from touching. I never cared, it was close enough. Besides, I knew one day you’d turn around, realize that I’d been here the whole time, waiting patiently. Well… As patiently as I could. You always knew how impatient I could be at times.
Laying back against the grass, a large tree above us to shade us from the bright sun in the cloudy sky. We chat and talk about everything and nothing, soon enough the quiet comes again and I want to scream, I want to cry out and tell you how much I love you, but I know better. I could just sit here beside you and pass my life away, it’d be enough for me. I wouldn’t mind as long as I was with you, not caring if I was ‘with’ you.
There never really was anything all that special about us. It was about as textbook as you could be, the talking and laughing, the going out and playing games or seeing movies, everything. There was no fanfare or bells and chimes signifying our relationship; whatever it may be. There wasn’t much fighting, aside from the regular friend-butting-of-heads, it wasn’t some big dramatic show. It was common, it was regular, it was nice. It was good enough, at least for now.
You knew I’d wait forever, wait a hundred years, a thousand hours; I’d wait. I would never change in the sun and shine, or rain and darkness. I would always be there for you, I will always be there for you. I know, it’s cheesy and silly, but poetry and fancy words won’t work for us, so I guessed I’d be wrong all along. Sometimes though, I’m wrong in guessing that I’m wrong.
Maybe you knew, too, how much you meant to me. I never knew though, how much I meant to you, so I didn’t try and push anything you didn’t want. I was fine with being beside you, just close enough. All I needed was your hand to steady me, to pick me up when I fell. The times you weren’t there were the worst, because I’d busy myself with thinking and picking apart flowers. ‘They love me, they love me not. They love me, they love me not…’ Thousands of petals surround me, hundreds of flowers picked apart.
As long as you were beside me, I was content. I could be quiet, and I have been, holding your hand to stay balanced, never straying because I knew if I did you might doubt me, and oh, how much I’d regret that. I stand here now, quiet, waiting oh-so patiently for the day that you’ll realize that I’m the one, there never really has been too many. Oh, when you realize, and the silence is broken, how the sky will open and clouds disperse…
Oh, how I wait for that day.