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Things begin to unravel for Lena when she spots the half-naked man working the front desk.
It almost makes sense at first. They are at a beach resort, after all, so it could be a professional decision to have staffers dress in beachy attire. Ever the scientist, Lena begins to take in more of the scene around her: namely, the collection of middle-aged people in various stages of undress.
Alarm bells begin to chime in her brain.
“What kind of retreat did you say this was again?” she asks.
“Gosh, I don’t know. It’s one of those made up business words,” Kara replies, studying the brochure she’s held in her hand since they first landed for their spur-of-the-moment friend-cation. “Got it! It’s a tantric retreat.”
Kara stumbles into Lena’s back as she comes to a dead stop.
“Tantric,” she says, slow and careful. Kara rereads it, nods.
“Yep. That’s what it says.”
Lena’s voice wavers despite herself.
“Kara, tantric isn’t a business term.”
“What? Yes, it is! It’s like synergy, or whatever other made up words you people use.”
Lena’s only half listening now, too busy taking in more of the room: the moody lighting, the abstract art that clearly carries some yonic implications, the men chatting in the lobby with horribly twisted handlebar mustaches – it’s all crashing in on her at once and every instinct tells her they have to get out of there now.
So she tries to do that, tries to grab Kara’s innocent little hand and get her out of there before anyone can notice them, but their escape is thwarted by the one person they were here to meet.
“Lena Luthor?” the woman says, looking shocked but decidedly confident for someone not wearing any clothes. “What on Earth are you doing here?”
There are many things she can say to this.
I have been trying to lock in a trade deal with your business for six months but can never get in the same room as you , for example.
Or perhaps: my best friend has been researching you for months and discovered you were going on a business retreat and thought we could come stalk you but despite her journalistic aspirations she clearly does not understand what sort of business is going down here.
She could even say something like I love visiting unusual beaches and observing sexually adventurous white people appropriating Eastern concepts from afar if she were really feeling it.
Instead what she says is, “we’re here for the retreat.”
Thankfully, terribly, the woman smiles.
It is surprisingly easy to convince Kara to stay.
“So it’s a couples retreat?” she asks as soon as they are alone. “A couple ‘a gals at a couple’s retreat – that sounds pretty good to me. We can get massages and do yoga or whatever and you can close that deal!”
Lena must look thoroughly unconvinced because Kara nudges her, smiles that disarming smile, and says, “Lena, you’ve been trying to get Evelyn Brooks to talk to you for months! This is your chance, we can’t leave now.”
That look she gives Lena is so bright and genuine that Lena actually starts to believe her.
“Fine, we’ll stay, but if anything gets too... tantric we’re leaving.”
“Got it. I’ll keep a vibe on the synergy, make sure it’s all chill.”
“You really need to learn what those two words mean.”
“I refuse! Okay, so coming up first it looks like an introductory meditation and a session called-” Kara pauses, clears her throat, reads, “Reawakening Your Lover’s Love: Empowerment Over Impotence.”
Lena does her best not to groan.
Lena knew a great deal about Evelyn Brooks thanks in part to Kara’s research. She knew where she grew up, what led her to starting one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the world, even which restaurants she frequents on a monthly basis.
And now, thanks to this fun mishap, she knows that Evelyn and her partner of four years are having marital issues. She learns as much as they go around the circle discussing what has brought them here this weekend. Lena thinks cruel fate is not an acceptable answer.
“Sometimes we limit our love when we should be expanding it,” their yogi instructor is telling them after Evelyn’s teary reveal, earning sage nods from everyone in the room except Lena. “Sometimes we let the world take too much of ourselves and we have none left for those who deserve it most.”
“Do I do that?” Kara whispers at her with the most devastated expression on her face. “Do I limit our love?”
“You’re the most loving person I’ve ever met,” Lena speaks low, trying to end this conversation without drawing too much attention. “None of this stuff applies to us.”
“Excuse me!” the instructor cuts in and suddenly all eyes are on them. “I understand the need for quiet intimacy, but in this workshop we value openness. This is a safe space here. There are no secrets.”
Lena glares at him but sees the appraising look Evelyn is giving them, so through gritted teeth she says,
“I’m sorry, we were discussing how lack of love is not an issue for us.”
Kara, ever the helper, jumps in,
“It’s true! Lena is an excellent lover! I mean,” she looks to Lena who is now too busy choking on air to contribute, “I just mean that she,” she pauses, then smiles with sudden confidence, “she treats our relationship like a good business.”
Kara is now making meaningful eye contact with Evelyn Brooks and Lena wants nothing more than to evaporate into a fine mist.
“She’s driven and goal-oriented and- and disciplined!”
“She disciplines, huh?” someone murmurs, and of course Kara responds.
“No, never! Well I mean, one time, but I was being kind of bad, so,”
Lena, still coughing, tries to seal Kara’s mouth shut with her mind, yet she persists,
“and she’s so passionate and focused and dedicated . When she wants something to happen, she’ll work all night to make it happen.”
“Okay dear!” Lena finally croaks out with a hand clasping firmly over Kara’s, “I think they get it now.”
Kara’s bright red face likely matches her own, but amazingly a glance at Evelyn Brooks reveals the other woman seems almost pleased by that train wreck. The instructor is also smiling, saying,
“Well! Hopefully we all will be feeling that way for our partners by the end of this weekend.”
Kara gives her a hesitant thumbs up. Lena wonders if she might be experiencing heart failure.
Evelyn corners her after the session.
“I’m impressed, Lena Luthor,” Evelyn says, “When I first heard you wanted our business I flat out refused. No Luthor was touching my baby. I knew your brother well, and you know what his biggest problem was?”
“His homicidal tendencies?”
“His refusal to admit he wasn’t perfect. Dealing with him was like dealing with a wall, but now here you are with your lover actually trying to work through your issues. I respect that.”
“Yes, well, it’s like Kara says,” Lena says through gritted teeth, “I love her like I love business. I am always willing to improve for what I love.”
“I’m starting to believe that. Tell you what, you two keep it up and maybe later you and me can talk about that deal.”
Lena’s joyous expression must imply she is open for a hug, which she quickly diverts into a handshake before Evelyn’s bare frontal business can touch her.
Their next activity is called ‘sensual sand connections’ – a terrifying possibility.
It seems Kara had been right before about them doing yoga. She had not anticipated what that meant for their personal space.
They sit together in a circle just at the edge of the water and begin in an embrace the instructor calls father-mother (“although we welcome all mother-mothers as well!”) which results in Kara sitting cross-legged with Lena in her lap wrapped around her in a tight embrace.
It’s almost funny at first. Kara giggles at the closeness but schools herself. They soon fall into the focused energy of breathing in time. The soft crashes of the nearby sea meld into the sensual drums and Lena can’t feel anything but her own breath, Kara’s, and the ways their bodies meet between. Her head has lulled forward until her forehead touches gently against Kara, and she opens her eyes to find her staring back.
Everything fades away then and it feels for a second like Kara might be leaning in, like Lena might be as well-
A freezing ocean wave washes over their laps and Lena nearly barrels over Kara in her haste to escape. She can hear the instructor calling after them but all she can focus on is putting as much space between her and whatever that was as possible.
Eventually, Kara catches up to her.
“Sorry,” Lena apologizes lamely, “that was just becoming a bit too much.”
Kara nods, crosses her arms, looks contemplative.
“No, you’re right. The synergy back there was like, really weird.”
“Kara, I swear to God-”
The weekend passes by with relative ease as they fall into their roles. Lena is a born salesman, and whether it’s selling a romantic or corporate partnership she plays to win.
Their beach mishap is ignored, and Kara thankfully doesn’t mention it. Instead they play the loving couple: they do prayer circles, they stare into each other’s eyes for abnormal lengths of time while their instructor chants in a language he clearly doesn’t speak, they even hold their hands to each other’s hearts. Lena spends the entire time hoping Kara ignores how fast hers is beating.
Things are fine until they aren’t: the final ceremony for the weekend is another yoga session, and Lena anticipates more embraces. And there are embraces happening, but Lena quickly realizes the final event is much more tantric than they had anticipated.
They run until they can’t anymore and collapse onto the sand.
“Was that even legal?” Kara is asking, “There’s no way that was legal!”
Lena is too busy wheeze-laughing to reply, and when she is able to she just says what has been building in her chest all day,
“Can I just thank you again for pretending with me this weekend? I can’t believe you’d do all this for me. I’m just... I love you so much, Kara.”
Saying that burns like it always does. She loves Kara so much it hurts to breathe, and she’ll take any love from her she can give.
And Kara must say it without realizing, without thought:
“How could I not?” she says, “I’m in love with you, too.”
They both sit in it before realization really hits, and Kara sits up ramrod straight, eyes wide and terrified.
“I mean,” her voice cracks, she laughs to cover it, “I mean I love you too. I didn’t mean, I-” she keeps laughing like that will somehow make the situation better, and Lena feels like she should reassure her or something but the phrase I’m in love with you won’t stop bouncing around her brain like a foghorn.
“Kara, I,” she starts, but her heart is thundering about like a pair of shoes tossed in an old dryer and forming anything more than a shocked stutter is impossible. Not that it matters, really. Kara has already run from the room.
She keeps sitting in the moment longer than she should, though in her defense she did just have her entire world shift on its axis.
“I’m in love with you too!” she shouts, her words echoing out over the crowd just as there is a lull in conversation. The other resort attendees cheer and a few even jump happily, which would be nice if they weren’t completely naked.
Kara doesn’t seem to mind, her eyes only on Lena while giving the tenderest smile.
“You do?”
“Of course I do. I always have.” She takes Kara’s hands and squeeze them tight. They smile at each other, staring deeply in a way uncomfortably similar to their previous tantric lessons. Lena remembers again where they are and seems just about to back away when Kara pulls her close.
“Maybe you and I could go-” Kara pauses, eyebrows raised comically, “-figure out what synergy means to us, if you catch my drift.”
Lena may not have known much love for the majority of her life, but as she stands there with Kara in the setting sun, surrounded by drunk and aggressively naked strangers, her heart knows how deep love can truly be.