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“Hey. Been awhile huh?” A pause, a few heartbeats and then, “I just wanted to come say Happy Birthday. I know I forgot the last few years but...” A hiccup, a swallowed sob. “I always remembered within a few days. Sorry. I hope you’re not mad.” A half laugh. A sob that isn’t quite contained. “Who am I kidding? You’re not mad. You’re never mad about this kind of stuff. You’re not that petty. You’re one of the most understanding people I know...”
The soft crunch of dried grass being flattened, the creak of bones that have seen too much wear and tear. “I was busy the last few years. It’s... It’s been hard. There’s been a lot of rebuilding that needed to be done. Tokyo is coming along well. You wouldn’t recognize it now though. It looks totally different than before. A lot more traditional Japanese architecture and buildings. It’s actually really weird, seeing a skyscraper right next a long but short Japanese manor.” A hollow laugh, like the sound of wind through an empty tunnel.
“Pendragon... Well, there was no rebuilding that. Or the lives that were lost. Nunnally decided the best course was to just build a new capital and live somewhere else until it’s finished. No one had any arguments with that. I mean, what could they really say? ‘Yeah, let’s try to rebuild in a nuclear waste land’?” A shrug, and a pop. “Ow...” A sigh. “That’s been happening a lot lately. My bones are angry at me, that’s what my grandfather would have said. And it’s true. I’ve made them do a lot of crazy stunts over the years. Or maybe I’m just getting out of shape, now that we’re in peace times...”
A rustle of shifting cloth against the dry grass. A resettling of limbs.
A silence.
It stretches.
On
and
on.
Until there’s a soft sigh. A sad sigh. A sigh laced with heavy emotions kept bottled up inside. “I hope you’re happy. Knowing you, you probably are. You’re among family, right? And even if you weren’t, I’m sure you’re making friends. You always made friends so fast...Like me. I’ve never forgotten that day. I think it’s one of the best days of my life, honestly. You fell out of the sky like an angel, but with all the grace of a newborn colt trying to run. Your voice was like music to my battered heart. I’d been through something awful and you...You were just what I needed. I needed you in my life. I didn’t know I needed you, obviously, but I did.”
A chuckle, warm this time. Full of love and joy. “Even though those were dark days, and things were hard, I was glad we had them. They were the best, y-y-you know?” The tears were in the words, and on his face. He could no longer stop them, or stuff them back in the bottle of his chest where he kept them. He was over filled, and the tears and words just spilled out of him, like a popped bottle of champagne.
“T-they...They were the best days. The very b-b-best days of my life. They meant everything to me. I wish...I wish I could go back. Back to those days. Mornings with Lloyd and Cecile, school with Le-Le-” Here his voice cracked completely, and for a few moments he just sobbed loudly into the profound silence around him. There wasn’t even a trace of wind or bird song. Just his sobbing and the crackle of dried grass on soft cloth.
“Gods I miss him. I miss him. I miss you. I want those days back. I wanna go back so bad. I don’t want to be here. It isn’t fair, it isn’t right. It isn’t fair that everyone got to leave me and Nunnally behind to figure everything out on our own. Where’s the justice in that huh?! Where’s the justice for us?!” He was screaming at this point, shouting at the grass that was inches from his nose as he bent in half over his knees. His head rested on the ground fully and his tears watered the forgotten grass and stone as he muttered, “Why? Why us? Why?”
Over and over he muttered these words. And even as he did, even as he continued to sob, the world continued to spin on. The sun sank lower, the birds started their evening chatters, and the crickets began to chirp. At some point, the wind began a gentle breeze. The breeze gently picked up the edge of the man’s long cape, letting it hover a moment before dropping it. The man took a heavy breath, a dragging breath, then a deep breath. He took several more as he slowly sat up on his knees. Eyes closed, chest heaving, he sat like that for several minutes.
In time his breathing evened out, became softer, lighter. More controlled. More disciplined. As the sun began it’s slow descent downward, the man opened his eyes. He took in everything: the rustling leaves, the flickering light coming through the trees, the shadows of those dancing leaves on the tall gravestone head in front of him. The way his shadow laid on the gravestone inlaid in the ground in front of him. The letters so strongly carved into the stone. The symbol her sister had designed just for this; a rose in bloom, with a little winged fairy emerging. Who would have imagined Cornelia could be so artistic?
He took in all of these things with green eyes tinged red with fresh tears and layered with unshed ones. He wondered idly if he’d ever stop crying. If there would ever come a day where he didn’t shed a single tear over the loss of something important in his life. His loved ones, his dignity, his honor, his soul... He supposed it didn’t matter. It was done now, all of it. They’d created the impossible. They’d changed the world into a kinder, gentler place. The world of their loved ones dreams.
But was it worth it?
Was it worth such an unimaginably high price?
Suzaku Kururugi didn’t know. He didn’t have the answer to that question. He never would. He was damned to live a long, long, life, and he knew he’d die without knowing the answer to that question. But it didn’t matter. He’d keep going, keep up his end of the promise. The final request. The final mission. The Zero Requiem. Because he’d promised. He’d promised the man he’d loved since childhood that he would see this through to the end, whenever and whatever that was. He’d promised Euphie that he would stand fast for her principals, for her dreams. He’d sworn on the pin he still wore, even now, that he would always be her knight and uplift her ideals. He’d meant it.
He still meant it.
He bent down low again, and held his position for five heartbeats before pulling up and staring straight at the gravestone. “Happy Birthday, Princess Euphemia. I brought flowers. All your favorite, naturally. Your sisters send their love.” A pause and then, softer, much softer, “As do I.” A few breaths, to hold back another impending wave of sobs. A creaking of too tired bones as he rose, the swish of soft cloth on dead grass.
“I love you Euphie. I hope you and Lelouch are happy. I hope you’re together. Wait for me. I’ll join you, one day.”
A deep, terrible, sigh. The sound of something mechanical moving, and the muffling of sounds.
Zero gave his cape a soft pat down, shook off the grass, and inside the helmet and whispered only to himself and the spirits:
“I’ll see you soon. Wait for me.”