Chapter Text
He had been trying to sleep for 2 hours now, but it was useless. Whenever he closed his eyes he could feel the water all around him, the air leaving his lungs and the ice starting to freeze his body. He stood up and removed one of the heavy sweaters he was wearing.
“JARVIS turn down the heating, I don’t want the windows to melt” he said to the air
“I don’t find that very likely to happen Captain Rogers” responded the tower
“That was a joke, just do it please” he said amused, he could already feel the temperature drop as the system responded
“Of course sir, I just don’t expect that kind of humor from you, perhaps master Tony but not you. I would recommend for you two to spend less time together”
He couldn't fight the laughter “me too buddy, me too”
He left his room and was about to knock on Natasha’s door but decided not to annoy her (even when she had said many times it didn’t bother her) and went to the elevator, thankful that Tony always had the tower on high temperature; he went to the common kitchen on the other floor, where he started to make some chocolate with one of those huge machines she always made coffee in the morning.
Thankfully he didn't need to sleep much, a useful side effect he guessed back in that day, and he could always squeeze a couple hours nap ant noon if things didn’t get complicated. It was always like this in the winter, somehow the days were manageable; the noise, the life the people, all that reminded him that he was alive, that there was life around him. But the night was different, the darkness and the silence, well as silent as New York can be, it was too much. That is why he usually slept during the day, at noon, when the sun and everyone at the tower kept him comfortable.
“Captain, are you alright?” Thor said, in a voice that could be considered soft for his usual demeanor, but still loud for the calmed night.
Steve nearly jumped out of his skin, and he was sure that if it wasn't for the serum his chocolate would be splattered all around the floor. “Thor! Don’t scare people like that; a normal human might have died”
“I apologize captain” said the god sitting on the couch in front of Steve, he had no shirt on (how wasn’t he freezing?) and he was weari… were those avengers pajama pants? “I was just surprised to see you awake so late”
“Steve, Thor, call me Steve; we have been living together for… what almost a year?” he said trying not to look so obviously at the blonde’s abs.
“Again, my apologies Stev…” he stopped mid-sentence when a deeply confused expression filled his face “but Steven, we do not share chambers; you share yours with lady Romanoff and I live with your flying friend” he continued to ramble “just as hawk man resides with your metal armed friend and Ms. Potts lives with man of iron upstairs”.
Steve couldn't help but chuckle a bit at the god’s confusion “Well yeah, we live in different apartments but we are all together in the tower, and we all come to the same kitchen and living room”
Shortly after the fall of SHIELD they all moved to the tower, it was Tony’s idea, something of “being all together in case of something nasty” but they all knew it was an excuse for not being alone; he had being a little paranoid since what happened in California. Nat and Clint were the firsts to move in, since they didn’t have rooms at SHIELD any more, then Thor came after leaving Asgard to be with Jane, but he stayed in New York “just in case”.
Banner accepted to move in after Tony offered him a new lab and his own floor, is wasn't that he didn’t wanted to be with them, but it was better for his temper to be alone some times. Sam and Steve were the last ones to come, but they were trying to find Bucky, who was in Toronto when they were able to catch up with him; after a couple weeks of they helping him remember and a few night of he and Steve just crying at the memories (Sam swears they were having sex but they both refuse it) he came with them to the tower.
“By the hot beverage and the heavy clothing I assume you are not very comfortable with this weather” Said Thor standing up; it took Steve more will power than he would admit not to look at the bulge that was right in front of him.
“Yeah, not a big fan of the cold, since the whole frozen thing you know” he said trying not to blush when the gigantic ball of muscle moved towards him.
“Allow me to fetch you another cup, this one is already cold” He said going to the coffee machine.
Steve finally lost the battle with himself and blatantly watched at the perfectly sculpted ass of the asgardian, “Thor, how are you only wearing pants? It’s freezing!”
“Oh… well I do admit that even if the current weather is quite cold is does not compare with Asgard’s winter or Jotunheim’s normal temperature” he said as he waited for the machine to finish with the cups “so I am not too bothered with it”
As soon as the cups were ready Thor took them and went back to sit with Steve, but this time he sat on the other corner of the same couch after giving him his chocolate. “As with many things in this world, in Asgard we do not have chocolate, I like it” he said with a grin
“You say that every morning with the coffee” the captain said smiling “sometimes I think you like it here more than Asgard” Thor stopped drinking and lost his smile “Oh! I’m sorry”
“It is nothing” he said shrugging, “sometimes I think that too, I do miss my friends but I do not have something to make me want to stay there, not anymore” a sad smile was on his face.
“I’m sorry for bringing it up” he was enjoying the talk with Thor and now he had ruined it and made it sad
“A dark winter night, I actually would be surprise if we talked something more charming Steven” said Thor drily
“It is very cold. Ok I have my frozen excuse, why are you awake so late?” said Steve desperately trying to change the subject of dead relatives
“As with every realm, times moves differently here that it did in Asgard, it is…. Faster, so I do not need to sleep as much” he said emptying his cup, “I can sleep if I want to, but I do not have the need to, so I usually come to watch some TV here every now and then”
“You don’t want to wake Sam right?” he could read his exact same feeling in the god’s face.
“If I find something funny my laughter will awaken him, he says its ok but do not desire to disturb his sleep, since he does needs it”
"I don't have to sleep that much either, Natasha said its ok if I want to talk, but even she needs to sleep"
"We have good friends, Steven" suddenly his face changed, "Speaking of your friends" said Thor, as if he just remembered something very important, "Son of Wil said that your other friend is doing better, and if my memory does not fail me he has not had an "episode" in a couple of weeks"
"Yeah, Bucky has been doing really good this last couple of weeks" Steve said smiling, "I guess going out with Nat wasn't such a bad ideas after all, she kind of puts him in his place, but I think he likes it"
Thor started laughing with this, and Steve could get how this would have woken Sam up “Samuel said something in those same lines, I am glad James id doing better”
“Hanging out with Bruce was a good idea, I have to give that to Tony, he really calms him down and helps with the mood swings”
“Dr. Banner is very skilled with temper issues, it was unexpected that none of us thought of it before man of iron, I am glad your friend is having a good time with the rest of us”
“I’m still not really happy with him living with Clint, but if someone was able to survive one of his tantrums long enough for us to go help it was Clint or Nat, and he had a free room”
“Yes! Hawk man is a very skilled warrior; that reminds me of a time me, the warriors tree and lady Sif were…”
They managed to move into a funny conversation, exchanging war stories and relating over how neither of the two liked modern music but were absolutely unable to get it out of their head
“No! Listen to me; you have never heard “Star spangled men with a plan” that still torments me, I find myself singing it more often than what I’m proud to admit” Said Steve barely managing to talk.
“Oh! But Steven I do have heard it!” At this Steve completely froze, “Star showed me a video of one of your performances, his father had recorded it and he found it a couple months ago, he showed it to us all”
“He what?? He is so dead” he said trying to look menacing
“Do not attempt to murder Stark” Thor said with a grin on his face, “I am sure you will not be able to live with the guilt, and it will not be a good example for the children to have Captain America kill one of his friends”
“I’ll just ask Nat to do it, I’m sure she has a plan and all the tools to do it without it been noticed”
“We all have a plan for that my friend, I could even believe Ms. Potts has one” Thor said smiling, then he noticed how Steve was hugging his clothes, “Is everything alright Steven, you seem to be very affected by this temperature”
“I’m ok, it’s just getting even colder by the minute” he said trying not to look so pathetic hugging himself
“I believe there is a window open in the kitchen allow me minute to go close it” he said standing up just to return a couple seconds later, “Done! That should help a little, but just to be sure” he said as he sat right next to Steve and wrapped an arm around his neck “Better?” he asked with a big smile
“Ahhh, y-y-yeah great!” he was completely unable to speak properly so he just listened to Thor ramble about his hammer, and nodded every time he looked straight into his face; because how did you expected him to pay any attention when the freaking god of thunder was hugging him so he wouldn't be cold!! Of course he had a thing for Thor, have you looked at the man, but no one but Natasha knew it.
The sex thing… that was hard to explain. Back then everything was so black and white, one thing was ok, all the other were wrong. It was also easier to go unnoticed, unless you completely dressed in pink everyone assumed you were straight, because everyone normal was; you had to publicly say it, or make something stupid and everyone would know it.
Yes he’d always liked guys, which had been very problematic; Bucky had to help him out of a couple fights with guys he’d flirted with. Thankfully everyone was so worried with the war that no one had time to gossip that the skinny guy was a fag. Bucky… he was a whole chapter on his own; they had… a thing, it wasn't physical or anything if they kissed 5 times he would be exaggerating.
They had been…. Companions, they were together, he was sure of that; and in the darkness of a theater or the silence of the night they would hold hands or Bucky would wrap his arm in his back, to protect him from the cold. But he was always finding him dates, or had one himself, because if they managed to outlive the war they had to return home, make a family; perhaps they could have had houses next to each other, with a big common yard, they wouldn’t have been together, but it would have been as close as you can be without it been weird.
Then there was Peggy, that was also complicated. He really liked her; he could even say he loved her, but it had been too fast, too much in too little time. In a moment when they were all together he had thought that it may have worked, the three of them (and Bucky’s wife, maybe even throw Howard in the mix), they could have made it; big houses, dogs, perhaps even children, and then Bucky was gone. And then even plans only with Peggy were impossible, I mean, he couldn't even make it to their first date.
He had grieved him, he really did, and maybe in his elusive moments of consciousness throughout the years Bucky grieved him; that’s why now they are only friends. And yes they did have sex, but no one will ever believe Sam, because they all think Steve wouldn’t lie and Sam is exactly the person to do that kind of jokes, but again, only Natasha knows this.
When he woke up everything was so different, so accepted, that he could experiment a little bit more, so he dated girls and he went out with guys. Things could also be easier now, if he asked to guy not to say anything they wouldn't, mostly because he didn't date that kind who would say it anyway, or just because they would have given blood to go out with him, which was disturbing, so not say it to the tabloids wasn’t too much of a problem.
He wouldn't deny it if it came to light, it was who he was, and he wasn't ashamed of it, not anymore; but he wasn't going to go and scream it in the middle of Central Park, it was his personal life and he was planning on keeping it personal for as long as he could.
Of course Bucky knew it, and Sam figured it out but it wasn't something they talked about. Natasha was the one he talked those kinds of things with, they started to like each other while going out on missions, midway thru she just stating adding guys to the list of people he should date, when he asked her why she just said “I’m good at reading people Rogers, don’t think it makes you special. But I have secrets of my own so I won’t tell if you don’t want me to”.
After that they became really good friends, he even took her out on a date, that went catastrophically wrong, so they get along great; and when he came to the tower he realized that she had specifically asked Stark for an apartment with 2 bedrooms and refused to let anyone move there until he came to the tower, which was sweet. She thought of him as her “gay best friend” and she was someone he could rely on, and could murder anyone without questioning if asked.
“I know it is ironic but I quite like it” Thor said “What do you think Steven? Steven? CAPTAIN!” He finally screamed realizing Steve was lost in his mind, with a very believable listening face.
“What!?!” Said Steve finally snapping from his memories and random explanations to the inexistent audience he was mentally explaining everything to.
“I was asking your opinion on Norwegian food since we are going out to eat later, but I just realized you have not been paying attention to me”
“Oh… sorry I got lost in memory lane” he said blushing
“I understand, too many memories not enough space for them, what is the last thing you remember?” how could he be so understanding with everything?
“Something about Clint trying to teach you how to use emojis” He said trying to get Peggy and the old Bucky out of his mind
“That was an hour ago” Thor said with a huge smile
“What? How could I been lost in my mind for so long” he said unable to believe the fact that he had made Thor talk with himself for the last hour
“You are very convincing with it, you even responded back to most of my questions” he said smiling
“I’m so sorry! I just… ” that was the moment he realized how close he was with Thor, and how warm he was, “Thor, why are we so close?” he said violently blushing. Since they were hugging and he had been resting his head in Thor’s shoulder until that moment
“Oh, it is still very cold so I moved in closer every time it seemed you were affected by it, and since you did not seem to be bothered with it, it quickly changed into this hugging position” he said, and maybe it was his imagination but he was sure the god holding him a little bit tighter now “And when I realized it, we were, as you call it, cuddling”
“We don’t have to stay like this if you don’t want to” Steve said changing his position and facing Thor, their faces were inches from each other’s, since Thor wouldn’t free him form the hung, not that he wanted to since it was the most comfortable he had been in ages.
“If I did no wanted to be in this position Steven, I would not be” he said coming even closer to his face. “You are surprisingly comfortable Steven” His eyes were incredibly calm, but there was something in them that Steve had never seen before, it was electrifying in some sense, which was very ironic.
“You are not so bad yourself” he said smiling and before he realized was he was doing he kissed him, it was an impulse and it was the stupidest idea he ever had, even crashing the plane sounded better in his mind at this moment, so he pulled away
“I’m so sorry! I-I didn't mean to I don’t know what came to me I t was an accide-” he was interrupted when Thor placed a finger in his lips
“As I said before, I would not be here, in this position, with you, if I did not wanted to be” he said and immediacy returned the kiss. It wasn’t violent or completely passionate, it wasn't soft and sweet either, it was something Steve had never felt before, there was something in there that he wouldn’t have expected from Thor but that felt completely natural to him; it was wild, unexpected and powerful, and there was something electric about it that made him want more, it was like kissing a storm if he had to explain it.
After a couple minutes they stopped for air and then just stared into the other eyes for a minute until Steve had, to his own surprise, to turn away to yawn, which was quickly followed by Thor doing the exact same thing, not even gods could run away from how contagious yawns were huh?
“I see that talking for this long has made the two of us quite tired” Thor said looking into his eyes with a big smile “perhaps we should take the opportunity to finally sleep and retire to our chambers, we can finish this…. Conversation tomorrow”
“Yeah, you are probably right, is better to take the chance and finally go to sleep” he said a little disappointed that Thor released him from the hug, “we should probably get up”
Once they had stood up, Steve realized that without Thor’s heat he was freezing, as if on cue Thor hugged him again from the back, which send a jolt of energy thru his spine “I see the cold is still an issue for you captain, perhaps I should take care of you for the night” he said to his neck
“I don’t know what plans you have Odinson, but I need at least dinner and a movie, I’m not that kind of guy” he said grinning.
“I was proposing to hug you and keep the cold away, allowing you to sleep without all those sweaters; I do not know what kind of plans you have in mind Steven” he said with a fake naïve tone
“Don’t play the little angel trick on me Mr. Thunder, but I do have to admit that sounds like a neat plan” he said turning around and facing Thor, still in his arms
“That is what I wanted to hear” he said, and then he grabbed Steve and carried him over his shoulder like a caveman to the elevator where he pressed the button to go to Steve’s and Natasha’s floor.
Wrapped in Thor’s warm arms he felt sleep as if he there want a single problem in the world.
He woke up the next day at 10, which wasn't a surprise since they talked until 5 am, and was a little disappointed to find that Thor was gone, but when finally left the bed he found a note on his bed side table: “Even if you were not paying attention we are still going to eat, be ready at 6.”
2 hours later Natasha had to punch him to get the smile out of his face.