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This is it, it’s official. Luke Hemmings is a complete and total failure at everything.
Or at least at remembering his apartment key.
“Fuck!” He says to himself, taking a seat on the stoop outside his door and rubbing his hands together in an attempt to generate warmth. He’s managed to lose his key which is actually supposed to be his backup key that he keeps under the cheesy ‘Welcome’ mat to replace the original key he lost.
Luke pouts to himself, looking around for a solution. He could walk to his landlord's place, but it's like a block away and Luke just walked a mile from his work to his home and he can barely feel his fingers. He needs to call the landlord, but Luke's phone has lately decided that it wants to have The Worst Battery Life In Existence and has died even though he barely used it all day.
The only other solution that would prevent Luke from becoming an ice cube involves his neighbor. It’s not that he doesn’t like the guy, Caleb? C...arlos? Something with a C. It’s just that, he’s got a really...extravagant sex life.
The blond almost wants to pat himself on the back for his choice of words. He makes note to use that word out loud in real life conversation, and also look it up to make sure he’s using it right.
Anyway, C-something is constantly boning people and is very unashamed. Luke hears all the thick Australian moans from the one guy who always asks C to call him daddy. He hears the laughter and video games that come after a quickie with another guy. Sometimes, Luke even hears the headboard roughly hitting the wall and pleasure filled cries of pain.
On those nights, Luke has taken to listening to really loud heavy metal music.
He knows that he technically has every right to go to his neighbor and complain and throw a fit, or even just politely ask him to keep quiet. Luke knows that, but he just can’t bring himself to do it. He’s just not built for confrontation...or any kind of interaction with people.
But now he absolutely needs to interact with C because it is, like, really-fucking-cold degrees outside and Luke can feel himself turning black with frostbite. He’s just lucky it hasn’t started snowing yet.
He rubs together his chaffing hands and burrows his nose deep into his scarf before standing up and approaching his neighbor’s door, which is near identical to his own. Besides the lack of an aforementioned cheesy 'Welcome' mat and the big plastic '12' where Luke's '11' sits right under the peephole. He raises his shaking fist to knock lightly.
The door swings open after a couple moments and there is Luke’s neighbor. Yes, there he is, his tanned torso on full display, simple black tattoos marking his collar bones and catching Luke’s eye. He is also only in a pair of green underwear with...toucans on it? Luke can feel the heat pouring out of the house and he almost steps right in without any permission.
“Can I help you?” The boy asks, his black hair pleasantly fluffy and a big, white smile plastered on his face.
Luke’s voice is shivery when he answers, “I-I’m l-locked out of my h-house,” He jabs a shaking thumb towards his apartment.
“Oh!” His neighbor nods and moves to the side, “Come in! Come in! Wouldn’t want you freezing to death on my front steps!”
Luke gratefully enters the house and is hit by a wall of heat. He can never get his heater to work this well, what the fuck? Luke lets out an embarrassing moan as he leans against the closed door. His neighbor laughs at him.
“I don’t think I know your name?”
That’s good because Luke sure didn’t know his, “Luke,” He brings a hand up to his chapped lips, trying to warm up the frozen metal of his lip ring.
“Calum!” His neighbor responds, almost as warm as his house is.
“How did you get your house this warm?” Luke asks, trying to sound casual and curious and not bitter. He obviously doesn’t succeed, judging by Calum’s laugh.
“Secrets,” He replies, bringing a long finger up to his plump lips, then he continues in a hushed voice, “I fucked the landlord,”
Luke almost chokes on air and Calum chuckles brightly again. He slaps a hand on Luke’s arm.
“Oh, wow, you’re like an icicle!” He says, rubbing his hand up and down Luke’s sweater covered arm in an attempt to warm it.
Luke leans into the touch, mostly against his own will, “Tell me about it,”
Calum giggles and brings up another hand to rub at Luke’s other arm. He’s got three other black and grey tattoos on his arm and one on each hand. Luke looks them over for a moment, intrigued. He wonders if they mean anything, or if Calum just thought they were cool.
“So, what are you gonna do about your apartment?” Calum interrupts Luke’s thoughts.
“Oh…uh, call the landlord, I guess,” Luke sighs, he doesn’t want to talk to the landlord. He’s called him enough times asking for new keys. “Unless you want to do it for me, maybe get him to make me a thousand keys,” He regrets his words as soon as they come out of his mouth.
“I’m so sorry,” He quickly apologizes but Calum is laughing again.
“I’m afraid the landlord has banned me from using sexual bribes against him,” He smirks, “But I still manage to get around it a couple times,”
Half of Luke wants to be disgusted by how slutty his neighbor is, but another part of him knows that he has no right to judge what Calum does with his own body. Besides, Luke might be willing to fuck the landlord too if it means he also got this kind of heat in the winter. The landlord is not exactly bad looking, a little old for Luke's taste. Kind of a douche.
Before he really realizes it, Luke has zoned out. He is mentally creating a pro/con list to fucking the landlord when the sound of a voice coming from somewhere in Calum's apartment distracts him.
"Are you done yet, baby?" A relatively tall boy with dirty blond hair walks out, devoid of any clothing, "Daddy wan -- oh!" He blushes prettily when he notices Luke, jumping slightly. Luke tries not to stare as his very prominent erection flops with the force of his jump.
Hmm, prominent is a nice word too. He is on a roll today. Music major? More like Luke Hemmings, English major.
The other boy blushes even more, the redness traveling down to his little patch of chest hair between his, admittedly nice, pecs. He quickly covers himself and backs up towards where he came from.
"Uh, who is that, Calum?" He asks, laughing nervously. His laugh is cute, Luke will admit. At least Calum picked cute boys to have sex with.
The tanned boy in front of Luke does not seem to have any problem with his sexual partner standing in his living room naked. He drops his hands, which the blond had forgotten were warming up his arms.
"This is my neighbor, Luke! He's locked out right now." Calum said, then his voice took on an effortlessly sultry tone, "Go back to bed, daddy. I'll be right there." He winked at the boy before turning back to Luke, who watched as the rather flat and pale butt of Calum's partner retreated hastily.
"Sorry about him," Calum replied with a slight roll of his brown eyes, "Always so impatient, and I'm supposed to be the baby."
He laughs and Luke kind of wants to puke because he is so uncomfortable listening to Calum speak freely about his kinks but he is also weirdly aroused. His subconscious suddenly supplies him with many visuals of his neighbor in compromising positions and shouting out that Luke is his daddy.
Luke screws his eyes shut and shakes his head, as if he can shake the images out of his brain. It just gets worse because now Luke is picturing the other guy joining them and he swears he has never been this gay. He used to just think band dudes were hot, it has never festered this far before. He's never even touched a dick that wasn't his own!
"You good?" Calum asks, his concerned tone making Luke open his eyes. His face is really close to Calum's face and he can kind of feel Calum's warm breath on his still frozen nose.
"Yeah, I just, yeah. I'm fine, I'm, yeah," Luke rambles, causing Calum to smirk a bit, raising his eyebrows in amusement.
"Are you getting all flustered over Ashton?"
"That guy?" Luke gestures vaguely towards where the guy came from and went back to, "Your, uh, your daddy? No, I'm fine, I'm...good."
Calum huffs out a laugh that Luke breathes right in because he is still really close to the other boy.
"Really? Because," His hands come up and are very suddenly resting on the cold skin of Luke's cheeks, "You're blushing."
There is a bit of stirring in Luke's pants, he's not gonna lie to himself. He is, however, going to lie to Calum.
"I-it's cold," Luke supplies, his voice failing him.
"I know a way to warm you up," Calum replies, hands still on Luke's face. His lips look very inviting and very plush and very pink and they are turned up into a smirk that creates a gathering of butterflies deep in Luke's stomach.
Is he honestly being propositioned by his sex addict of a neighbor? Is Luke honestly getting the chance to have firsthand experience with the person he has been awkwardly listening to for the past few months? Is this actually happening?
Luke takes a step back, pulling his face out if Calum's grasp. He laughs awkwardly, "I think I should just call the landlord,"
Calum nods, obviously respecting Luke's decision. "The phone's over there," He points towards the kitchen area where Luke spots the black phone that comes in every apartment. "The landlord might answer you even quicker since it's my number, you picked the right house." He winks before walking back towards where Ashton is, "Now, if you don't mind, my daddy needs me to come home immediately."
Luke takes a few deep breaths to calm himself down before calling the landlord. He feels kind of dumb for turning Calum down but also the thought of suddenly jumping into a threesome with two strangers kind of grosses him out. It's just not his style.
Luke is so hopelessly a romantic. He's only ever had sex with two girls. Granted, he had tons of sex with them once they reached that point in their respective relationships, sure. But it was still only those two girls.
He kind of wants that not-so-exclusive look into Calum's sex life, but he doesn't want to get it as easily as anyone else could.
After about two minutes of steady breathing, Luke picked up the phone, listening to the dial tone for a moment. He hasn't heard a peep out of Calum and Ashton yet. Obviously, daddy has more shame than his baby.
Luke presses a few buttons and the line rings only twice before the deep voice of the landlord answers, "I told you already, Mr. Hood, I can't keep giving you stuff just because you offer to suck my dick."
Luke cringes on the other side, clearing his throat awkwardly, "Um, this is Luke Hemmings, apartment 11? I, uh, lost my key again and Calum let me use his phone..."
"Oh! Uh, oh..." The landlord answers, his voice slightly higher now that he was flustered, "I, uh, didn't I just give you a spare key?"
"To be honest and quick, I basically lost every key you've given me,"
"You need to be more responsible, Mr. Hemmings. These keys cost money."
"I'm sorry, if you just give me one more, I'll go have a bunch of copies made, yeah?"
"I'll be right over to Mr. Hood's to escort you into your apartment,"
"Thank you, sir,"
The line goes dead and Luke lingers in the kitchen for a moment, listening to the white noise coming from the phone. He puts it down and slowly makes his way to the door. He wants to thank Calum but he is not risking his innocence by going back there.
Luke exits the apartment, immediately regretting it as soon as the frigid air hits his delicate skin. But he stays out there, rubbing his hands together and looked desperately in the direction of the landlord's apartment.
He is startled when the door opens behind him and Ashton walks out, now clothed, thankfully. He's got a red bandana tied around his head, keeping his slightly sweaty, curly locks out of his face. He smiles politely at Luke, raising his hand awkwardly. Ashton briefly adjusts his pants before walking out to a silver car parked in front of the building.
Luke frowns as he watches Ashton walk away, his steps obviously uncomfortable. He can't believe that Calum let him leave without getting him off. He would have thought that it was against some kind of code or whatever. Luke shakes his head, he needs to stop being a dick and assuming things about his neighbor.
"Hey, you ready, Luke?" The landlord is standing right in front of him and is waving a hand in front of his face.
"Oh, yeah," Luke starts walking towards his door, pausing when he realizes that the landlord is not following him. He is, instead, staring wistfully at Calum's apartment.
"Uh...sir?"
"Sorry! Let's go, sorry," He quickly walks up to Luke.
"I'll mail you a key by tomorrow." He says as he unlocks the door with his master key, "Try not to lose it too fast, okay?"
"Yeah," Luke replies with a polite laugh. He knows he is going to lose it right away.
The blond quickly enters his apartment, though it's almost as cold as the outside is. He runs to the thermostat and quickly turns up the heat. Even after a few hours, he is still missing the extreme warmth of Calum's apartment.
He is kind of suspicious when he doesn't hear obscene noises coming from the apartment next to him for a few weeks.
But also, Luke is kind of super focused on getting done the project that he was supposed to do over winter break. Considering that winter break was over in a couple days, he didn't really have time to worry about his neighbor's sex life.
Then he finishes his essay and it's almost dark out and he hasn't slept. He is jittery from all the coffee he's consumed though; he hasn't even had actual food in who knows how long. He also has not checked his mail, he realizes.
For some reason, the mail is suddenly of dire importance. Obviously more important than eating. He walks outside and he can feel snowflakes falling down and pricking his skin through the holes in his knitted sweater. Luke opens the metal box that is bolted into the side of his apartment and finds a couple bills and a lot of junk.
He sighed, Luke was so not ready to see his heating bill for this month.
"Oh, hey, Luke,"
He turns and is suddenly face to face with a smiling Calum. Maybe it's the sleep deprivation or the large consumption of coffee or even the fact that the sides of Calum's hair were shorn and the longer bits were styled into a mohawk-y/quiff thing. Luke doesn't really have a good reasoning for what comes out of his mouth next.
"Hey, haven't been hearing you having sex with anyone lately."
Everything goes silent as soon as the words leave his mouth. The snow possibly stops falling and Luke drops all his mail. He quickly presses both of his hands to his lips, as if his present self can prevent his past self from ever speaking. Calum's mouth falls open in shock, but the corners of his mouth are upturned in amusement.
Luke removes his hands to apologize profusely before picking up his mail and a small collection of snow and rushing back into his apartment. He slams the door shut and falls down against it, ignoring Calum's call of his name.
He can't ignore when Calum starts knocking on his door seconds later though. Well, he probably could, but as previously addressed, Luke is a failure.
He stands up and slowly creeks the door open, revealing a smirking Calum with his arms crossed.
They stare quietly at each other for a moment before the tanned boy speaks.
"I guess I should have known that you could hear all that. It's not like I'm exactly quiet,"
Luke just smiles nervously, "It was inappropriate of me to bring it up."
Calum laughs, "Nah, I think by now you can tell that I'm not exactly secretive about my sex life,"
Luke lets out a breath of anxious laughter, eager for this conversation to be over. He doesn't need to be reminded of Calum offering to "warm him up" and everything else that happened that day that has haunted Luke for weeks.
"And yeah, I haven't been doing anything lately...anyone," Calum shrugs, looking intently at Luke, "I've been kind of...distracted..."
Luke's blue eyes flit all around, trying to look anywhere else, but Calum's firm gaze was piercing into him.
"Definitely distracted by someone lately,"
"I-is that my phone?" Luke laughs manically for a moment, "I totally just heard my phone ring. Gotta go, bye!" He slams the door shut loudly and sinks down onto the floor again. He can feel the puddle from the snow he brought in with his mail soaking into his black jeans.
He loudly groans to himself. So loudly that Calum can probably hear it, even if he went back inside his house. Luke is so fucking stupid. Everything he does is stupid and awkward. Luke Hemmings, awkward major.
He presses his skinny fingers against his eyelids, rubbing and pulling the thin skin. He needs a drink. He needs a lot of drinks. Luke needs to get fucked up.
He walks to his room, putting on more appropriate clothes. A dry pair of black skinny jeans and some kind of band shirt. He styles his mess of blond hair into a quiff and then calls a cab. No drinking and driving for this guy, he was a responsible adult with no friends.
Luke gets the cab driver to take him to a less crowded bar so he can drown his misery in alcohol alone. Luckily, he just got paid and he still has a bunch of money left from his Christmas bonus.
A few hours later found the bartender cutting Luke off and calling another cab to bring him back home.
"But he's so hot..." Luke slurs out, resting his empty bottle against his face. He's managed to tell the bartender the whole story about Calum three times, along with two other people at the bar. Though one of them stopped listening halfway through and walked away.
"I know, buddy," The bartender answers, his voice condescending, "It's going to be okay,"
He has to get out from behind the bar in order to help Luke safely get to his cab and honestly, he doesn't get paid enough for this.
The cab driver is not as nice, asking Luke for his money and telling him to get out. Luke stumbles his way out, swaying as he walks towards the steps to his door. He hears the cab drive off before he even makes it to the top step.
His vision is blurring and he can feel a retch coming on. Luke hasn't eaten anything all day, he doesn't know what he's going to throw up, but he needs to do it soon. He grabs a doorknob, eager to get inside so he doesn't have to clean up barf tomorrow.
He could have sworn he locked the door, but he guesses not. Also, his house is abnormally warm, it's probably just the alcohol though. He stumbles around, tripping over stuff he doesn't remember leaving out. When did he even get a football?
Suddenly there are arms around him and Luke jolts. He tries to squirm out of the grasp of whoever is in his house. Then he sees a familiar black tattoo on a familiar tanned arm and he stops moving, looking up and finding the concerned face of his neighbor.
"Why are you doing in my house, Calum?"
Calum raises his thick eyebrows, understanding washing over his face.
"Are you drunk?"
"You're drunk!" Luke replies defensively, trying to wiggle out of Calum's grip again. He's too strong and Luke gives up again. He slumps, "Why are you in my house?"
Calum laughs, "This is my house,"
"No, it's not," Luke slurs.
"Oh, right," Calum snarks, "I've been sober all night hanging out in your house and waiting for you to come back."
Luke's drunken stupor causes the sarcasm to be lost on him, "Why have you done that?"
Calum rolls his eyes, still amused by the whole situation. He leads Luke back towards his room.
"Come on, buddy," He grunts as he half drags the taller boy, "Let's get you to bed."
"I'm sure you'd like that," Luke mumbles, still kind of feeling like he is going to barf and focusing more on that than his actual words.
Calum hesitates before chuckling, "Yeah, I guess I would,"
"I would let you, probably," He groans suddenly, leaning down into himself. Calum redirects them towards his bathroom.
He sets Luke down in front of the toilet and starts running soothing fingers through his quiff. He slowly combs out the knots and the rough spots being held together with hairspray. He brushes it back against Luke’s head as he dry heaves into the toilet. After a few minutes of that, Luke falls silent and his body goes limp. His face is pressed against the toilet seat and Calum sort of wants to laugh but mostly feels bad. Luke is too pretty for this.
He grunts as he picks his neighbor up off the floor and drags him into his bedroom. This is not how he wanted to have the blond boy in his bed. Calum makes sure Luke is in a comfortable position and throws a blanket over top of him. He grabs a pillow for himself and heads out to his couch.
Luke wakes up with his head pounding and a nose full of the smell of bacon. But...how is someone making bacon? He lives alone.
He quickly sits up, but it is a bad idea. His head pounds and he lets out a moan of pain, pressing his fingers to his temples. Luke waits for a moment for the pain to pass, before slowly opening his eyes and looking around. He is certainly not in his room. These are certainly not his sheets or his blanket.
He frowns, did he go home with someone last night?
Luke is even more horrified when the door opens and Calum walks in. His neighbor smiles brightly at him, holding a tray table and carefully setting it up over Luke.
“Morning, sunshine!” Calum greets warmly, “I figured you’d want some breakfast, also pain pills. You were so wasted last night,” He chuckles as he holds out a hand with two little pills in it.
Luke hesitantly reaches over and takes the pills. He picks up the glass of orange juice that Calum provided to wash them down. The juice feels amazing on his sore throat, but also he kind of feels like he is going to throw it right back up.
“I hope you like bacon and eggs! I’m not much of a chef,” Calum sort of gestures towards the plate with slightly burnt food on it, “You should eat though. I don’t think you ate much before you went out drinking, you were having a difficult time throwing up.” He frowns, as if concerned.
Luke’s head is still pounding and there is so much going on and he still doesn’t know if he slept with Calum last night or how he even got here in the first place.
“I’m sorry, am I overwhelming you? Do you want me to go?”
Luke slowly shakes his head, his voice groggy and barely audible, “No...you, you can stay…”
Calum grins, he carefully takes a seat on the bed, doing his best not to disturb the tray table. He sneaks a hand over to take a piece of bacon.
“Please eat,” He says, his mouth full.
Luke picks up a fork and stabs a few pieces of egg, slowly bringing them to his mouth. He chews for a long time, swallowing thickly.
“How...um,” He starts, trying to figure out how to speak, “I, what…what happened last night?”
Calum shrugs, “You kind of just barged in at like midnight, I think you were trying to get to your place. You were obviously drunk so I figured I’d let you stay,”
“You let me sleep in your bed?”
Calum just shrugs again, smiling softly and taking another bite of his strip of bacon.
“Where did you sleep?”
“On the couch,”
Luke sighs, taking another small bite of his food. It’s starting to go down better, his headache slightly fading.
“Why?” He asks after a while of silence.
“Why what?”
“Why did you,” Luke waves his hands, vaguely gesturing at the bed and the food, “Do all this?”
Calum doesn’t answer for a while, “...It was just the right thing to do, I guess?”
It’s too early and Luke is too hungover to be thinking so hard. But he can’t stop. It’s like, before he just thought Calum was some emotionless, mindless slut. Just a dick attached to a body. But of course he is more than that. Of course he is a genuinely nice guy who would help some stranger who broke into his house in the middle of the night. Of course Calum is hot and nice. Just, of course Luke has a fucking crush on him.
It is like he’s in high school all over again. Liking this person who is so far out of his league that they’re practically playing a different sport.
“I think I should go,”
Calum frowns, eyebrows furrowing together, “Are you sure? You haven’t even finished your breakfast yet.”
Luke digs his teeth into his bottom lip, “Yeah, I’m gonna get out of your hair,”
“You’re fine, honestly!” Calum insists, “I don’t mind.”
Luke picks up the tray table and sets it to the side, pulling the covers off his body. He smiles politely at Calum before getting out of the bed, swaying slightly on his jelly legs.
“It’s cool,” He says, balancing himself out and taking hesitant steps towards the door, “Thanks for everything, though, really,”
“...Okay…” Calum says, still looking concerned, “Bye then,”
“See ya,”
Luke books it back to his apartment, grabbing one of his keys hidden all around outside to unlock his door. He takes a seat on his couch, pressing his fingers to his throbbing temples and taking deep breaths. He is so stupid, so dumb. Luke Hemmings, awkward major, to be honest. Luke Hemmings, failure major. If his college offered those majors he would be at the top of his class, let’s be real.
Though he supposes it would be hard to be at the top of his class when he is majoring in failing… Whatever, he would manage it, because he is just so good at failing.
He is too tired for this. He needs a nap and he needs more bacon but he doesn’t have any. He should have stayed at Calum’s and taken more bacon. Yet another failure for Luke Hemmings, failure major.
Luke wants to just go sleep forever but he knows that school starts again soon and he can’t afford to ruin his sleep schedule now. He turns on his TV and ends up watching cartoons for the entire day, not moving from his spot on the couch.
Luke is soon blissfully distracted by the holidays and his family and he doesn’t see Calum again until well into December.
The snow outside is mostly melted and tainted with dirt and the beautiful part of winter is officially over. Luke is outside looking in his mailbox when Calum’s door opens and a boy with green hair peeking out of his beanie walks out looking annoyed.
“I’m sorry, Mikey,” Comes Calum’s voice. Luke watches as he follows the other boy out, the two of them ignoring the blond sifting through his mail even though he is right next to them.
“Whatever,” The green haired boy answers, “I don’t need you, I’ll go…” He hesitates as he glances over at Luke who smiles back sheepishly, “Hang out with Ash.”
“Luke! I haven’t seen you in a while!” Calum says, his tone friendly and contrasting the distrusting look his friend is giving him, “Michael, this is my neighbor, Luke,”
Then the green haired boy, Michael, nods, a smirk forming on his face. “Ahh, Luke, yeah?”
Calum shoots a glare at Michael, “Shut up, go fuck around with Ash,”
Michael pouts but waves slightly at Luke, his hands half covered by the sleeve of his sweater, and walks off towards the road. He’s probably going to the bus stop a couple blocks down.
“Hey!” Calum says, slapping Luke’s arm lightly to get his attention, “You should come to my New Year’s party this weekend!”
“Oh…” Luke nervously searches for an excuse not to go, but Calum is grinning hopefully at him and his hair is curly and falling into his eyes and Luke is weak. “Um, sure,”
Calum’s grin gets somehow bigger and cuter and he jumps up slightly. “Awesome! Come by around 8!” He is so enthusiastic that Luke can’t help but smile back. He tries to subside it by biting down on his lip.
There is a moment of silence and the two are just standing outside their respective apartments, smiling at each other.
“Um, I should let you get back inside,” Calum says suddenly, looking down at Luke’s socked feet, “You must be cold,”
Luke is freezing but he doesn’t want to leave Calum. He can’t find a way to say this without sounding weird so he sighs, “Yeah, see ya,”
“Bye!”
Luke finds himself anxiously fussing with his hair by the time it is 8 on New Year’s Eve. He’s got on a pair of ripped jeans and a flannel, hoping that he’s not going to be underdressed. Luke’s not exactly the fancy clothes type.
He nervously readjusts the bracelets on his wrist as he waits outside Calum’s door for his knock to be answered. He can hear All Time Low playing loudly from inside but it doesn’t seem to be very crowded.
Luke’s suspicions are confirmed when Calum opens the door with a warm smile and there’s only, maybe, like, fifteen people there. Luke does his best to smile back but his heart is kind of in his throat because, wow, Calum really must like him to invite him to such an exclusive party.
It kind of blows Luke’s mind because Calum likes everybody. Calum will fuck anything that moves. Everything he thinks he knows about Calum keeps shifting out of perspective and Luke sort of doesn’t know how to handle it.
The boy reaches out and grabs Luke’s hand and he can feel Calum’s warm fingers against the cool metal of the ring around his pinky and his heart drops into his stomach. Luke feels dumb and so confused and he needs to stop acting like a little kid with a crush because he is a mature 18 year old.
Calum pulls Luke into the kitchen then starts talking to someone. After a moment, Luke recognizes him. It’s the green haired boy from before, except he has purple-ish hair and an eyebrow piercing. Time really changes people.
Luke needs a drink.
He subtly removes his hand from Calum’s loosening grip and the other boy pays him no mind as Luke travels into the kitchen in search of alcohol. On the counter, Luke finds there are several opened bottles of wine and he chuckles to himself for a moment. This is an adult party. Look how mature he is, at this adult party.
He picks up one of the totally classy red Solo cups and fills it up with wine. Luke knows he actually doesn’t even like the taste of it, but he downs it anyway. He needs to be at least buzzed right now if he wants to make it through the night.
Luke kind of lingers in the kitchen, nursing a second, third, and fourth drink. He watches as Calum goes around, politely talking to all his guests, flirting slightly with them. He wonders if they all know about Calum. He wonders if they are all just Calum’s booty calls. Do they know about each other? Are they competing with each other? Are there ever fights over who gets Calum?
Luke is pouring himself a sixth drink when the black haired boy finally makes his way over with a grin.
“Aren’t you just a little social butterfly over here, hanging out with the wine?” Calum teases.
Then Luke blurts out, “So, how many people here have you had sex with?" Because he doesn't love himself and everything he does is just the worst possible thing he could do.
Luke's mouth falls open in shock at his own words and so does Calum's. But this time, he doesn't look even the slightest bit amused. His mouth falls shut and twists into a disappointed grimace.
"Luke, I tried really hard to just kind of accept that you're really awkward and cute," He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, "But clearly we have different views on things. My sex life isn't the only thing about me. And this is my body, I can do whatever I want with it. I don't need you to come in and throw shame at me. No matter how cute you are."
"Wait, no!" Luke stutters out, "I didn't-"
"But you did." Calum says with a sad smile, crossing his arms over his chest in a way that sort of looks like he's trying to protect himself, "I haven't even been able to have sex with anyone lately, because all I've been thinking about is you... But I don't think you're good for me. And I think you should leave, please."
Luke looks around and the party is still going on, everyone is unaware. Except the purple haired guy is shooting Calum a concerned and suspicious look. He looks back at the boy in front of him and Calum is just looking at him with that same sad smile and his eyes full of regret and determination.
Slowly, Luke sets down his mostly filled cup, and turns on his heel to walk out of the kitchen. He does his best to slip out unnoticed.
Once again, Luke finds himself locked out of his apartment. He didn't even think of taking his key when he was just going next door, but he did think about locking the door.
"Fuck me," He muttered to himself as he looked around in the dark for his spare keys that he'd hidden around his apartment building. The only source of light was Calum's porch light, which was flickering dubiously.
Luke pulled out his phone just in time to watch it power down because it has The Worst Battery Life In Existence. Also he was kind of nervous about the party, and he sort of forgot to charge the damn thing.
Luke Hemmings, failure major, makes his valiant return.
He stumbles around in the dark, feeling for that specific rock that he put one of his keys under. He whispered to himself, quietly deprecating himself and everything he has ever done.
Then he hears a door open, the sounds of Calum's party leak out into the winter air. Luke's head whips around and he sees the guy Luke saw naked a few weeks ago, fully clothed currently, looking pointedly at Luke as he closes the door behind him.
"Hi," Luke says sheepishly when the guy doesn't say anything.
"So, you're Luke, right?"
"Unfortunately," Luke replies, chuckling humorlessly and straightening up from his bent down position. The guy walks closer to Luke, and Luke walks closer to him to meet him halfway.
"You're the guy that's got Calum all worked up?"
He pouts at the guy's disbelieving tone, crossing his arms defensively.
The guy laughs a bit, a hand flying up to press his black fedora further onto his head, "Michael wanted me to come talk to you," He laughs again, "Well, actually, what he said was "Ashton, we need to go beat up the guy who's fucking with Calum." but I suggested a more polite approach,"
Luke takes a step back, hoping to avoid getting beaten up, though he'd probably deserve it.
"I'm not gonna beat you up," The guy, Ashton, says. "Unless you show me that you should be beaten up anyway."
There is a moment of silence, Luke kicks at the dirt with the toe of his shoe, "So, why are you out here in the dark instead of in Calum's ridiculously warm house?"
"Calum asked me to leave," Luke answers quietly, feeling like he just told his mother that he broke her favorite lamp. Except Calum is so much more than a lamp. He is a real person. Luke broke someone's favorite person.
"So that's why Calum just ran away from all his guests to go hide in the bathroom for twenty minutes."
Luke didn’t think he could feel that much guiltier, but he was definitely wrong. When he looks up, Ashton looks mad at him but he also looks sort of disappointed. That really messes with Luke's head, he can't handle when people are disappointed in him.
“Luke, I feel like you don’t realize,” Ashton says, stepping down off the porch and closer to Luke, “Calum really likes you. Like a lot. All me and Mikey have been hearing about these past few weeks has been about your long legs and your blond hair and your blue eyes and your one dimple and your lip ring and how you’re taller than him and no one else is ever taller than him.”
Ashton’s annoyance is visible as well as his fondness for Calum. Luke feels like he’s drowning in guilt.
“But anyway, Calum likes you. He hasn’t really liked anyone in a long time. I’ve known Calum for almost four years, Michael’s known him for ten. He hasn’t had an actual romantic relationship in years. Then suddenly you come along with your long legs and he turns into mush and just wants to hold your hand. I don’t think he’s fucked somebody since the day you walked in on us. Do you know how rare that is for Calum? You just don’t fucking know, Luke. You don’t know what you’ve done to him.”
Ashton looks like he’s hurt, Luke actually kind of sees the glint of anger in his eyes growing rapidly and this guy has got huge biceps. Luke is fearing for his pretty face, he backs up as Ashton steps closer to him.
“I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so stupid and oblivious!”
Ashton’s hands are curling into tight fists and Luke brings his own shaking hands up to protect his aforementioned pretty face. He can’t believe everything that is happening to him right now. He stumbles on a little hill in the ground while walking backwards and finds himself sprawled out on the ground.
“Ashton!” A voice calls out, making the guy in front of Luke jump back a few feet and attempt to look innocent. Calum runs over to Luke’s side. “Dude, what the fuck?”
Luke can see Calum hold out a hand in the dim porch light, but he just stares at it. Stares at the three letters on the side of it, wondering what they could mean. Everything goes still as Luke lies on the ground and stares at Calum’s hand while Calum glares at Ashton.
Then Calum’s brown eyes turn to look at Luke, not that Luke can really tell that they’re brown in this lighting but they are brown, he knows that much, and Luke reaches his dirt covered hand up to latch onto Calum’s. Even in the darkness, he can see the nice contrast of his pale skin against Calum’s tanned skin. It’s kind of riveting.
Luke might be drunker than he thought.
Calum gives Luke a small smile that doesn’t really connect to his eyes or anywhere else with his body language. It makes Luke sad. He wants to see the white teeth and crinkly eyes and red cheeks that come with a nice sincere smile.
“Are you locked out again?”
The blond boy looks down at his feet, trying to half step on his foot, but losing his balance slightly. He grabs onto Calum’s arm and the black haired boy reaches out his other arm to stop Luke from falling. Luke finds himself kind of wrapped up in Calum and very dizzy and he should probably stop drinking to solve his problems. Calum is turning him into a problematic alcoholic.
Calum looks down at the ground for a second, then at Ashton, then at Luke’s hair, and pretty much everywhere else except Luke’s eyes. He steadies the blond boy onto his feet and gives another half-hearted grin before pulling out his phone and turning on the flashlight. He walks around for a couple seconds before picking up a rock and grabbing the shiny key under it.
Luke obviously needs better hiding places.
The tanned boy walks up to Luke’s apartment and unlocks the door. He opens it and gestures for Luke to come over. The blond obliges, stumbling over on the uneven dirt.
“Hey, go drink a glass of water and get to bed, yeah?” Calum says quietly, waving his hand to guide Luke into the apartment. Luke nods slightly and for once Calum’s smile almost meets his eyes. Or maybe not, it’s still kind of dark.
Luke doesn’t listen to Calum though. When he gets inside, he closes the door and sinks down against it, holding his dizzy head.
He sits in silence for a few seconds, just barely hearing the music thumping from Calum’s house. Then he hears Ashton and Calum talking right outside his door. Granted, it is also kind of right outside Calum’s door too.
“What the fuck was that Ashton?!” Calum is shouting, he sounds angry.
“He hurt you!”
“I can deal with myself, asshole! You’re not actually my dad!”
“Is that seriously where you’re going with this?” Ashton is clearly offended, “Dude, I care about you. You’re my friend and I care about you. You’ve done nothing these past few weeks but talk about that guy, I haven’t even seen your dick since that day he came over! Then he comes in and is a total douche that makes you run off to cry in the bathroom in the middle of your party like you're some teenage girl? I’m not fuckin’ having it! Neither is Michael!”
“Just mind your own business for once, Ashton. Please.” Calum’s voice actually cracks in desperation, “Tell Mikey the same thing. I don’t need you guys to protect me. I’m fine.”
Luke hears as Calum’s door opens and closes shortly after. He leans his head back, hitting it on his own door. It’s a bad idea, Luke’s already got a nasty headache brewing.
He supposes he should follow Calum’s advice and get a glass of water and go to bed. Instead, he just kind of curls up against his door and sleeps on the floor.
Another bad idea for Luke Hemmings, bad idea major.
He wakes up with a sore back and a sore head and a sore attitude. He’d drank enough to feel hungover but not quite enough to forget anything that happened last night. Luke wanted to slam his head against something but with the way it was throbbing, it kind of felt like he already did. Whatever, he deserved it.
Luke is such a fucking dick. He shouldn’t even be allowed around people. Let alone cute boys with tattoos and fluffy hair and nice smiles. He should just move out so that Calum doesn’t have to deal with him and his word vomit and general failure anymore. It would be for the best.
Instead of moving out, Luke gets up off the dirty floor and makes his way into his kitchen. He really fucking wants bacon. He wants bacon more than anything in the world. Luke needs bacon to survive this day, he’s sure of it.
Luke doesn’t get bacon. He settles for stale cereal and gross coffee. He doesn’t deserve bacon anyway.
Weeks pass, Luke finishes his project just in time for school to start back up. He doesn’t see Calum for a while. He also doesn’t hear Calum having sex next door either. He hears Calum’s friends come over and video games being played and laughter being shared, because the walls are fucking paper thin, but Luke doesn’t hear any of the usual moans and groans he used to.
If you had told Luke months ago that he didn’t have to hear his neighbor get it on every day, he would have cried tears of joy. But now the silence was just fills the blond with guilt. He wishes Calum would just start having sex again, because he can’t help but feel responsible for the lack of fucking happening.
The words keep haunting him. Calum’s sad voice saying that he hasn’t been able to have sex with anyone because he couldn’t stop thinking of Luke. Ashton’s angry voice saying that it’s rare that Calum hasn’t fucked anyone since that day he knocked on Calum’s door.
More like Luke Hemmings, guilt major.
And to make it worse, it turns out Michael fucking goes to Luke’s school. He’s in Luke’s fucking music theory class. Sometimes he just shoots Luke these looks. They aren’t even glares at all, he just looks plain disappointed. And wow, it's really fucking Luke up.
Luke never meant to hurt Calum. He didn’t want to ever make the boy sad and now he just doesn’t know what to do to fix it and it is fucking him up.
He is barely making it through the day with this guilt constantly eating at him. His quiff game has been off for days, his blond locks falling limply against his forehead. The other day he wore slightly loose fitting blue jeans.
Luke doesn’t even know who he is anymore.
An asshole, that's who he is. Calum was nothing but nice and sweet every time Luke spoke to him. Calum was just a cute little cupcake that Luke stomped on. He wishes Ashton had punched him, he deserves it.
That's all that races through Luke's mind. Any time he lets his focus falter, he ends up thinking about Calum. Luke honestly just fucking hates himself. How could he do what he did?
Needless to say, Luke’s pretty shocked when Michael makes a beeline towards him when the music theory teacher tells them to pair up. He throws his weak noodle arms up in front of his face to protect himself for the inevitable throw of a punch. But nothing comes.
Slowly, Luke lowers his arms and looks around at his classmates staring curiously at him. Michael is standing calmly in front of him, his eyebrow raise accented nicely by the piercing. Luke considers briefly if he planned that.
“Be my partner?” Michael asks when Luke doesn’t say anything for a while. The class has since returned back to normal and is humming with the sound of people conversing about the topic the teacher gave.
“Why me?” Luke replies hesitantly.
Michael rolls his eyes, “Because I’m curious to know your thoughts on musical grammar,” His voice drips with harsh sarcasm, “I want to talk to you about Calum, idiot.”
Luke pales at the sound of Calum’s name. His toes feel numb with the rush of nerves that just went through his body. Or maybe he can’t feel them because the guilt has eaten them off.
“Dude, you look more fucked than Calum does,” Michael says, his voice sounding kind of concerned. He looks nervous as he gestures for Luke to take a seat. The blond quickly obliges. He places his sweaty hand over the sweaty hair covering his sweaty forehead.
“Man, do you need to see the nurse?” Michael looks really concerned now, crouching down to be eye level with Luke.
Luke shakes his head, pushing his hair up and out of his eyes and probably making himself look even worse. “I’m good,”
Michael still looks nervous, he obviously didn't expect Luke to already be feeling like shit, “I don’t think you are,”
“I’m fine.” Luke tries to say the last word firmly, but mostly it just sounds weak. His voice is really working hard to contradict his words.
“I’m sorry but,” Michael starts, standing up straight and crossing his arms, trying to wipe the nervous look off his face and replace it with a strict indifference, “I don’t really think you deserve to be the one who is really messed up right now, judging by the story I’ve been told.”
“No,” Luke nods, “You’re right. I’m a piece of trash. I know this, you know this, Ashton knows this, everyone at that party knows this,” He hesitates before whispering, “Calum knows this.”
Wow, more like Luke Hemmings, drama major. Luke takes deep breaths, trying to calm himself down.
“And I thought Calum was going crazy over this,” Michael says.
Luke’s head snaps up, “How is he? Is he upset?”
“I mean, he was kind of secluded for a couple days, but he’s mostly gotten over it.” Michael shrugs, “He still looks kind of sad sometimes though and I don’t like it.”
Luke doesn’t like it either. Calum deserves to be happy. He never wants to see the boy not smiling ever again.
“Which is what brought me here. Ashton didn’t think this was a good idea, but honestly, I don’t fucking care. I just want my best friend to be happy again. And if you’re the one who is going to do it, then that’s just how it’s gonna be.”
“What do you mean?” Luke asks, his voice finally under control.
“I want you to talk to Calum.”
He immediately shakes his head vigorously, “No, I can’t,”
“You have to,” Michael insists.
“No, you don’t understand, I can’t!” Luke continues shaking his head, “Every time I talk to him, I fuck up and say the wrong thing. Me talking to Calum is what started this whole mess. I can’t do it again, I just can’t.”
“Luke, calm down,” Michael says, placing both his hands on Luke’s broad shoulders. This doesn’t stop Luke from shaking his head. The purple haired boy sighs and gives the other boy a little shake. He lets out a yelp, but finally sits still. “Now, you are going to decide what you want to say to Calum. I’m giving you two days to do this, including today, then you are going to talk to him on Sunday. You can write it down and read it to him for all I care. What happens from that point on is to be determined.”
“But-”
“No, this is going to happen.” Michael says sternly, his grip on Luke’s shoulders tightening, “You messed Calum up and now you’re going to fix him.”
The bell signaling the end of class rings and Michael gives Luke one last squeeze before grabbing his bag and putting his papers away.
“Two days.” He says firmly, holding up two fingers as he walks out the door.
Luke feels so sweaty, he peels off his damp flannel and fans himself with it.
“Are you okay, Luke?” His teacher asks, concern lacing her tone.
“Y-yeah,” Luke stutters out, sounding entirely not okay.
She smiles comfortingly but doesn’t push the topic. The blond is grateful for it.
It’s a good thing this is his last class of the day because he can’t handle much else today. Also he apparently now has a homework assignment from Michael. One that is due in two days. Luke doesn’t even know where he is going to begin.
He spends the walk home from school trying to gather his thoughts. By the time Luke is home, he kind of has something going. He pointedly ignores Calum's door as he enters through his own. He rushes inside and immediately gathers a notebook and a pen and sits down at his tiny kitchen table.
He’s grateful for the two days he has to work on what to say to Calum and uses both days to his advantage. Luke spends most of Friday freaking out and jotting down small fragments of apologies and compliments and regrets he has. Then he spends half of Saturday forming it all into a nice, neat paragraph. Once he’s satisfied with the outcome, he starts practicing the speech.
Luke kind of knows that once he’s in front of Calum, all this practice will be down the drain, but it’s worth a try. If his life were a movie, this weekend would probably be a cool montage. He wonders what song would play in the background. He thinks probably something slow and sad to fit the mood but usually montages have fun songs.
He wakes up on Sunday feeling jittery. He doesn’t even know when he’s supposed to go talk to Calum. Luke assumes that someone is going to come get him and put him in front of the boy and tell him to speak.
Luke finds his paper with the final draft is quite rumpled and kind of unreadable from all the clutching and sweating and writing he has done all over it, so he makes a second copy. He writes the words as neatly as possible, and big enough that he is going to be able to read it smoothly to Calum.
He really hopes this works.
Luke is halfway through yet another run through of the paragraph when he hears a knock on his door that he has been dreading all day. He slowly walks up to the door, peering out the peephole. He sees purple hair and also curly blond-ish hair and Luke knows that Michael and Ashton are probably going to beat the shit out of him if he doesn't fix Calum today.
His teeth sink into his bottom lip as Luke slowly opens the door. Both of the boys in front of him are clearly not having any of his nervous shy boy realness today. Michael grabs his arm and pulls him out of his apartment.
“I hope you’re ready,”
Luke is still in his boxers and an old shirt that has a stain on it and his hair is not even remotely done. He pouts and tries to protest, “At least let me change!”
They both ignore him as Ashton knocks on Calum’s door and Michael keeps a firm grip on Luke, keeping him in place. Calum answers looking sleepy but he, unlike Luke, is fully dressed.
“This better be something good,” Calum mutters, rubbing at his eyes, “If you made me get up and get dressed this early when you know Sunday is a lazy day,”
Calum stops rubbing his eyes and actually opens them and takes in the scene in front of him. Then his eyes narrow and he shakes his head.
“Guys,” He says softly, reaching out to pry Michael’s hands off Luke’s wrists, “I told you to leave him alone.” Calum pulls Luke away from Michael and guides him so that he is out of the cold winter air and in the warmth of Calum’s house. Then he stands in front of Luke, as if protecting him from the other two.
“Not when he’s made you as sad as you’ve been!” Ashton insists.
Calum sighs, “I’m fine. How many times do I have to tell you?”
“It doesn’t matter how many times you do, we can tell you’re not fine!” Michael replies.
Luke can tell they’ve been through this whole spiel many times. He decides it’s probably time for him to speak up, though he doesn’t really trust his mouth.
“I, um, I agreed to this,” He says quietly from behind Calum.
The tanned boy turns to look at him curiously, “What?”
“I mean,” Luke hesitated, carefully choosing his words, “Michael told me you were sad and that I should talk to you...so I am going to do that.”
Luke’s hands shake as he unravels his paper with his newly written speech on it. It’s been crumpled up in his sweaty hand since Michael and Ashton knocked on his door. Nervously, Luke clears his throat before beginning to read it. He stumbles a few times, but he mostly gets it all out.
“I know I’m not good with my words or the whole brain-to-mouth filter thing, and I want to start by saying I’m sorry for that. It’s just kind of who I am, I guess. I know that I’ve done nothing but subtly insult you these past few times we talked and I’m going to try really hard to avoid that this time. I think you’re really cute and you’ve been nothing but nice and polite to me so I’d really like to get to know you personally. I understand that you own your body and have every right to do whatever you please with it. I’m sorry for the implications that I may have made. I think they mostly came from a place of me being kind of flustered by the thought of you in sexy situations and the fact that I’m pretty virginal. But I can’t make excuses for my behavior. I’m not saying you should forgive me and I’m not even asking you to consider it, really. I completely deserve for you to be mad at me forever. I was kind of pressured into this whole thing because Michael thought it would make you feel better and I guess I kind of was hoping it would work. If it doesn’t I understand.”
The silence is palpable as Luke slowly looks up from his paper and looks at the faces around the room. Michael and Ashton are both staring expectantly at Calum who just looks dubious and uncomfortable.
“So, which one of you wrote that?” Calum finally breaks the silence and turns to look at his two friends.
They both shake their heads, “Luke did,” Ashton says, pointing at the blond.
Calum just gives him a disbelieving look, “Sure,”
“Honestly, Calum,” Michael persists, “I came up to him on Friday and told him to figure out what to say to you and neither of us have seen him since.”
Calum still looks like he thinks everyone is lying to him.
Luke takes a deep breath before crumpling his paper up into a ball and throwing it on the ground. The small noise it makes is enough to get everyone’s attention on him. He looks Calum in the eyes.
“Everything I just said came from me, I promise. I know I’m a fuck-up and I’m awkward and I don’t know how to talk to cute boys, but I promise that all those words were from my brain. Those are the things I wish I could have said to you so many times before, but instead I just said dumb things because I’m a failure.”
Calum’s expression softens, a small smile replacing his previous disapproving frown.
Luke continues, quite proud of himself for not messing up yet, maybe things are turning around for him, “I hope I, like, I don’t know, gave you some sort of closure? I don’t want you to be sad. Especially not over something as dumb as me.”
Calum nods solemnly, “You did, thanks." He looks like he wants to say more, but he doesn't. Luke awkwardly starts to walk towards the door.
"So, I'll just...go..."
Michael and Ashton are still staring expectantly at Calum, who looks kind of pained. The four of them say nothing as Luke walks back to his apartment. His door had been left ajar and all his hot air had definitely escaped.
"What the fuck was that?" Luke hears Michael shout as soon as he gets inside.
"He can hear you, you know," Calum replies calmly.
"Good!" Michael exclaims, "I want him to!" He raises his voice, "Luke, listen up! Calum is going to tell us all why he didn't kiss you like he's been wanting to since he first saw you!"
Luke pales, he doesn't need to actually hear Calum reject him. The silent polite rejection he just got was enough, thanks.
"Did you ever think that maybe I want some time to think?" Calum is clearly fighting to keep his voice calm, "Not everyone just goes around making rash decisions just out of the blue like you, Michael."
Luke feels sick as, once again, everything goes silent.
"Can you guys please leave?"
Luke hears shuffling and the sound of a door shutting. Then, as if he knows Luke is standing right by his door, Michael mutters an apology.
"I thought this would work to both of your advantages,"
Luke doesn't reply.
Then things go back to normal. Or at least, as normal as they could possibly be.
Luke doesn't see Calum, and he also doesn't hear much from him. The only thing telling him that his neighbor hasn't moved is the loud music that plays pretty much constantly. Luke can't complain, it's good music.
Sometimes he hears Calum singing and maybe sometimes he sings too. Maybe sometimes Luke tries his best to harmonize with Calum and maybe he hopes that Calum notices.
Michael actually kind of becomes friends with Luke. They work pretty well together in music theory and sometimes Michael tells him what Calum is up to, but Luke pretends he doesn't care.
"He's still kind of off, but he won't tell us what's up. I know he's still thinking about you,"
Luke hums, plucking at the strings on a guitar, "Okay,"
"Ashton and I have had to hook up with each other a lot more now, I don't think Calum is fucking anyone."
Luke just nods, still focused on tuning this guitar, which is already in tune.
"I mean, Ashton's hot and everything, but his daddy kink kind of creeps me out. And I'm just not submissive enough to do it right."
The blond grimaces at the thought.
"I just don't understand it. Whenever I say daddy I think of my dad and he is just, not hot at all and then I'm softer than a fucking marshmallow. I don't know how Calum did it, I know for a fact that his dad isn't quite the looker either." Michael sighs wistfully, "I miss Calum, he knew me inside and out...literally."
Luke looks up and sees Michael's filthy grin, "Could we maybe have a friendship where we don't talk about this stuff?"
"Sorry..." Michael is silent for a little while, listening to Luke try to tune a guitar that is literally in perfect tune already. "You really should have had sex with him when you had the chance though, he's the best lay I've ever had."
Abruptly, the blond stands up and sets the guitar down gently in his seat. He leaves the classroom without asking permission and walks swiftly to the bathroom.
Luke is trying really hard to not be such a drama queen, he really is. But it’s obviously not working as he is currently breathing really heavy in his school bathroom. He is leaning heavily on the sink, trying to avoid looking at himself in the mirror, that would be just too cliché. Honestly, Luke’s probably done more embarrassing things in his life, this can’t be the worst thing to ever happen to him. Why is he acting like it is?
Just the mere sound of Calum’s name sends him into a nervous spiral of regret and embarrassment. Luke knows that he’s being ridiculous. That in a couple months the name will mean nothing to him and he will probably just laugh about this whole situation. Luke knows that it’s only been a couple days since he last spoke to Calum, and that he’s not going to feel like this forever. He knows this, but he can’t stop himself from feeling the way he feels.
The human body is so stupid, Luke wishes his emotions were as smart and level headed as his brain. It’s probably just teenage hormones. He wonders when he can stop blaming his teenage hormones, he’s technically an adult now. Luke still kind of feels like a fourteen year old though.
He finally glances up in the mirror. Luke’s got dark purple bags under his eyes, and his hair has not seen a good day in months. He’s taken to hiding it in a beanie, but it still just looks gross. Luke’s hair is so affected by his emotions, he wonders if that’s where all his emotions come from. Maybe he should cut all his hair off and he won’t have to feel anything anymore.
Luke tells himself to stop being a fucking dumbass because his emotions definitely don’t come from his hair and he would look awful with a buzz cut.
The bell finally rings and Luke waits for the school to clear out a bit before leaving to get his things from the music theory classroom. His plan to avoid Michael is foiled when the purple haired boy is there waiting for him.
Luke still tries to avoid him by not speaking to him. He grabs his bag and starts to walk towards the door, ignoring Michael’s calls of his name.
“Luke, c’mon, talk to me,” Michael follows Luke out of the classroom and then out of the school.
Finally, he snaps, “Usually when people ignore you it means they don’t want to talk to you,”
“Wow, okay, Mr. Sassy Pants,” Michael says, his tone sarcastic but still light and humorous, “Excuse me for trying to be nice for once.”
“You’re excused,”
Michael’s mouth drops open in shocked amusement, laughing as he continues walking with Luke.
“Are you going to come home with me?”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” Michael replies, “I’m gonna drop by to see Calum,”
The conversation ends there. They are about halfway home when Michael speaks up again.
“Look, dude,” He starts and Luke already knows he doesn’t want to hear it, “Just hear me out, yeah? I’ve known Calum for, like, ten years, probably more. No one has ever gotten under his skin the way you have. I don’t know how you did it, but you have. And, like, you’re still there, even after that whole closure thing, or whatever.”
“What do you expect me to say?” Luke asks, “Like, I don’t know what you want from me. Why are you telling me this?”
“I’m telling you because I need to know that if Calum ever decides he is going to kiss you, if you are going to kiss back. I need to know if you even want Calum the way he wants you. Should I be rooting for you or not?”
It's like Michael always knows exactly what to say to mess with Luke's head, "I, I don't know,"
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"I've never even liked a guy before! I don't know what's happening to me!" Luke was quick to get defensive.
Michael laughs, "Do you want to kiss Calum?"
"I don't know!"
"Would you like it if Calum kissed you?"
"I don't know!" Luke repeats.
Michael stops walking, the blond immediately following suit.
"Have you ever kissed any guy?"
"No!"
So Michael grabs his face and pulls him into a rather uncomfortable kiss. Luke's lip ring is awkwardly positioned between them and Michael's hands are still roughly grabbing his cheeks.
"Now you have," Michael announces when he lets Luke go.
"Hardly! What the hell was that?"
"I'm trying to help you figure out your sexuality!"
"You can't just surprise kiss people in real life!"
"Oh my god," Michael groans rolling his eyes, "You're so picky. Do you want to try again?"
"No, I don't want to kiss you!" Luke crosses his arms defensively, starting to walk again. Michael follows him. They are almost home.
"But do you want to kiss Calum?"
"I-I don't know!"
"Well considering you gave a definitive no for me and a wishy-washy maybe for him, I'm gonna go ahead and assume you want to kiss Calum."
Luke does kind of want to kiss Calum but at this point he has protested so much he's not sure admitting defeat is worth it. Then he starts thinking about kissing Calum and also other things. Like holding Calum's hand and touching Calum's hair and asking Calum what his tattoos mean.
As they approach Luke's apartment, he decides it kind of is worth it. Anything is worth it. Luke turns around and stops the other boy in his tracks.
"Fine, yes, I want to kiss Calum."
Luke hears a "Really?" but Michael's lips don't move. Michael is actually making that whole mouth open shocked/amused face again.
Luke can't fucking believe.
He turns around and sees Calum leaving his apartment. He's making the same face as Michael and Luke wants to roll his eyes so hard but he's also kind of nervous.
"Do you want to kiss me, Luke?" Calum asks, closing his door. He steps closer to the blond and he looks really cuddly in his sweater and Luke wants to cry.
"We, uh, we've already been over this," Luke offers as a response.
"I don't think I have though," Calum replies, his voice taking on a coy, flirty tone that makes Luke kind of weak at the knees.
Luke nervously licks his chapped lips, giggling slightly, "Um, I thought you needed some time to think,"
"I did," Calum grins, stepping even closer to the other boy and he is so warm and Luke has been outside for too long and he gets cold really easily. "And I think, that I want to kiss you."
Luke feels all his nerves collecting in his stomach, he just stares at Calum. They are inches away from each other, just staring. Nothing is happening.
"You guys suck," Michael claims from far away. Or at least, it sounds far away. Luke is so lost in the smell of Calum's deodorant and his sweater that possibly just got taken out of the wash.
His eyes are locked on Calum's lips, which look really soft and well taken care of. Luke has a tendency to bite his lips and forget his chapstick and all around his lips aren't very attractive. Not like Calum's.
Luke was wrong. He doesn't kind of want to kiss Calum. He wants to kiss him a lot. He wants to kiss Calum more than anything in this world. Luke wants to kiss him more than he wants bacon.
"Are you guys serious?" Michael's voice says again, "Like are you honestly kidding me with this?"
Then Calum finally tilts his head the slightest bit upwards to connect his lips with Luke. It's better than the kiss with Michael. Like miles better. Luke doesn't even think the kiss with Michael comes anywhere near this kiss that’s happening right now.
Luke gets so lost in his thoughts that he kind of forgets to kiss back. Then Calum's lips are leaving his and he is looking confused and like he's about to put his defenses up again.
"Wait, no, kiss me again,"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," Luke nods, "Yes, yes, kiss me, do it,"
So Calum does and Luke makes sure to respond. He brings his hands to rest delicately on Calum's lower back, where he tries to slightly pull him closer. Instead he kind of accidentally yanks him closer and they both stumble a bit and Calum’s teeth kind of sink into Luke’s lip. They don’t break the kiss though, and maybe Luke kind of likes the feeling of Calum’s tongue rubbing over where he bit as sort of an apology.
In the distance, there is a sound of a camera shutter. Luke doesn't want to react to it, doesn't want to ever have his lips not touching Calum's, but the other boy does. He turns to look incredulously at Michael, who is holding up his phone with a smirk.
"I'm sending it to Ashton,"
Calum shakes his head, turning back to Luke, "My friends,"
Luke wants to say something witty and smart back but the tanned boy in front of him is so intoxicating and he is kind of extremely distracted. His eyes still staring intently at Calum's lips.
Calum gets the hint and pulls Luke back in.
"Ashton's mad," Michael comments, but is ignored. He pouts, "I wanted to hang out with Calum today,"
Calum pulls away again with an exasperated sigh and says, "Go cheer up Ashton instead,"
"I don't wanna!"
This time it's Luke that has to break the kiss, "I swear to god, Michael," He leaves his threat empty and does his best to shoot a glare at the purple haired boy.
"I can't believe this!" Michael exclaims, "My best friend and casual hook up, ditching me for a boy he's just met! It's because of his legs, isn't it! I'm sorry my legs aren't good enough for you, Calum!"
Calum rolls his eyes and pulls his entire body away from the other boy. Luke pouts, missing the warmth already. Calum is literally sunshine and Luke is, like, a popsicle.
He grabs onto Luke's wrist and tugs him towards his apartment. The blond follows easily, Michael trailing behind as well.
Until Calum stops him with a hand on his chest, "Go find something else to do, Michael."
"I'm seriously so offended!"
The door slams shut in Michael's face and Calum presses Luke up against it for good measure. He pulls the blond into another kiss that hopefully won't end up getting interrupted.
The kiss breaks when Calum decides he wants to start kissing Luke's neck, which the other boy is totally fine with. He is very much into neck kissing it seems, something he was not previously aware of. He might just be into Calum though. Luke's definitely into tangling his fingers in the soft black hair on top of Calum's head, that’s for sure.
"Wait, um," Luke says hesitantly, pushing the tanned boy away slightly. Calum pouts at him, and Luke regrets pushing him away because he just really wants to be always kissing those lips. How did he ever survive without it? "Are we like...what, what are we? What is this?"
"What do you want us to be?" Calum asks kindly, smiling lazily at the blond.
Luke feels really dumb and embarrassed when he stutters out, "B-boyfriends?" Why would Calum ever want to be Luke's boyfriend? Calum was a cool guy who had casual sex partners and wasn't tied down by lame relationships.
"I'd like that, I think,"
Calum smiles and Luke smiles back and they kind of just stand there smiling at each other for a while.
"Does, um, so, like," Luke bites his lip, unsure of how to go about his next question, "Are you still going to...like, um,"
"I'm not going to have sex with anyone," Calum insists with a laugh. Luke sighs a breath of relief, he didn't want to offend the boy yet again.
"I mean, honestly," Calum continues, blushing, "I haven't even been able to even think about anyone but you for months, so..."
Luke grins, all his teeth on full display. He happily resumes kissing Calum.
More like Luke Hemmings, boyfriend major.