Chapter Text
Tags may get updated with the posting of the second chapter, depending on if I will add any more characters.
This fic is the last one in the 'Cliche busting' series, but the first one in the 'Bamf Peter' series. I wanted to keep the universe I have created for the characters to live in, but didn't want to add fics that don't have a cliche busting theme into the series, as that felt like false advertisement to me.
Here a little bit to catch you up:
- As with all the other fics in the series, Civil War got resolved peacefully (and Ross is out of office), and Infinity War and Endgame did not and will not happen. This fanfiction series universe is a happy place. Okay? Good.
- Tony and Pepper share custody over Peter with May. Peter occasionally calls Tony Dad (he might also at one point refer to Pepper as Mom, but Aunt May will always be Aunt May, without the title diminishing the magnitude of love he feels for her)
- Peter has a male Pitbull named Hope, a shelter rescue dog who was about to be euthanized.
- Tony has spilled the beans on live tv about Peter being heir to Stark Industries.
- Peter is acquainted with some of NYPD's detectives and the captain.
- Tony, being the overprotective helicopter parent he is, has used his, so far limited, access to nano-technology to make a watch for Peter that tracks pretty much everything and can't be taken off by anyone other than Tony (or, in the event of Tony's demise, Pepper, May, Happy, or Rhodey) – See part 1 and 2 of the series for reference.
- Tony and Pepper still own and live in the Tower, and the Avengers all have rooms (floors) there as well. Due to the events of the second story in the series (the wounds we see and the scars we don't) May and Peter have also taken up residence in the tower (more specifically on Tony and Peppers floor, where they have their own living spaces). Though right now this arrangement is temporary and the two might move back into their house in Queens eventually.
- Since I ignore Infinity War and Endgame, neither Tony nor Peter have nano-tech-suits. (Though they might at some point)
- I have stolen the concept of the X-Men's Danger Room. Though it is only mentioned here and not really utilized in this chapter.
- Also, the identities of other vigilantes are known to the Avengers (part of the fixed Accords thing)
- Last but never least, my very favourite part of this series, Peter swears in food names. Shit = Skittles, Damn = Donuts, Hell = Hot Dogs, Fuck = French Fries or Fruit Loops, any kind of name calling, i.e. Bitch, Ass, Fuckface, etc = Licorice
Avengers training (Or, how Spiderman kicks everyone's butts)
“I'm not doubting your engineering capabilities, Tony.”
Came the tired sounding voice of one Steven Grant Rogers, as he and Tony walked along one of the many hallways in the tower. The slightly shorter man beside him let out an annoyed huff.
“Sure as hell sounds like it to me. What the hell is wrong with my specially designed training robots?”
The super soldier sighed.
“For the fifth time, Tony, there is nothing wrong with your robots. All of us have used them in training before. They make for good sparring partners, okay? But at the end of the day, they are just machines. They follow a pre-determined code of defense and attack patterns. Which makes their movements predictable. And while that is fine for regular training, if you really insist on taking Spiderman on our next mission with us, I'm gonna have to be sure that he can hold his own in a real fight.”
The mechanic rolled his eyes.
“There are so many things wrong with what you just said, it's not even funny. You do know that the kid has been doing this for three years now, right?”
“Yes Tony, I know. But infiltrating and clearing out a Hydra base is a little more high profile than Spiderman's regular petty thiefs and kittens stuck in a tree.”
Now Tony almost felt insulted on the kids behalf.
“Oh, right. It's not like Pete ever does anything else than web up purse snatchers and rescue helpless little pets. It's not like he gets shot at regularly, or has to take on a bunch of armed and dangerous people at once.
He certainly doesn't have enough experience in strategic planning to safely take down a bunch of very organized bank robbers, without getting the hostages hurt in the process.
And it's not like he has taken care of that Vulture guy, who was running around with alien technology.
And that time the whole team was in Uruguay chasing down a lead to another Hydra cell, while a crazed scientist made a serum that turned himself into a fucking Lizard person out of my worst nightmares? Spiderman definitely had nothing to do with taking that guy down before he could turn every citizen in New York into his reptile underlings.
Did you know that Lizard guy could throw cars around like they were golf balls? Can you throw cars around like they are golf balls, Cap?
Let's also not mention that time the kid had to fight a deranged escaped convict in an armored, weaponized rhino suit that was shooting up downtown Manhattan, all alone, because once again, non of us were available as we were busy traversing the forests of some third world country in search of yet another, who would have guessed it, Nazi hideout. But I'm sure that guy was no more dangerous than your average Joe, stealing grandma's freshly baked cookies. Or how about-”
At this point Steve threw his hands up.
“Okay! Stop! Look, clearly I worded that poorly. I didn't mean to belittle what Peter does. I'm sorry. You are right. The kid has accomplished a lot and he is a formidable hero in his own right. But you are the only one of us who has actually fought with him. He has never trained with any of the other Avengers and all I and anyone else has to go on, are whats in his files and a bunch of shaky Youtube videos filmed by civilians as far as his fighting capabilities are concerned. And obviously that is not Peter's fault.”
He continued preemptively before Tony could open his mouth to further defend his son.
“That other stuff you said is true, too. We have had a lot of missions as the Avengers, that took us out of state for weeks at a time. Which has left vigilantes like Spiderman and others to pick up the slack when something bigger went down here.
To be completely honest, I can't even remember the last time we were called in for something on the home front, ever since we got the Accords sorted out. And while we have somehow managed to spend enough time with Peter to grow ridiculously fond of him, we have never seen his alter ego in action.
Spiderman has never called on us for help during his patrols, and as we have already established, all his bigger fights happened when we were out of state.
- Which now that I think about it, is actually slightly worrying and maybe we should talk about that with the team later on.-
But my point still stands.
I know that Peter is an incredible hero, but I don't know what he is actually capable of. When he can handle something on his own, and when someone needs to back him up. When he can be called to back up someone else. And if we are supposed to fight together, that is something I need to know, just as I do with everyone else on the team. Can you at least see where I'm coming from?”
And while Tony would like nothing more than to continue arguing, he could admit to maybe, kinda, sort of seeing the point his friend was making. He sighed.
“Fine. Friday, be a dear and tell Pete to gear up and come to training room 'snooze-fest'.”
“Got it, boss.” The A.I. answered happily.
Steve raised a questioning eyebrow at the shorter man.
“Which one is training room 'snooze-fest'?”
Tony waved a distracting hand in the air, as the two continued on their way.
“The one without all the hard-light holographic technology and force fields and all that other sexy machinery. The boring one. You know?”
He decided to ignore the side-eye Cap gave him.
“You mean the one that we all use regularly?”
“Got it in one, Capsicle.”
Steve just sighed and gave up. He had learned long ago that sometimes, arguing with Tony was like walking backwards in a circle, that would at random intervals turn into a triangle, while blindfolded. Or, to put it in easier terms, a hopeless endeavor.
They soon arrived at the lower level training room, and just had to wait a few more minutes for Peter. The teen was clad in his Spiderman suit, though was holding the mask in his hand. He smiled upon seeing the two Avengers.
“Hey Tony, hi Steve. Friday said to meet you here?”
The two also smiled at the younger and Steve nodded.
“Hi Peter. You got here fast. We didn't interrupt something, did we?”
The boy quickly shook his head, having made his way to the two adults.
“Nah, I was just skyping with MJ and Ned, but it was nothing important. So, what's up?”
The Captain clapped a strong hand on his shoulder.
“Tony has suggested to take you with us on our next mission. And while I'm in favor of this, I would like for you to do some training exercises with me before hand, for me to properly assess your ability. If that's okay with you, of course. You don't have to join in on an Avengers mission, if you don't want to, or don't feel ready to.”
Steve wasn't sure what reaction he had expected from the kid, but it was definitely not Peter shooting Tony an exasperated look.
“Is this about last month again?”
“You bet your fucking ass this is about last month, punk.”
Surprised, Steve looked at the grumbling billionaire questioningly.
“What was last month?”
As Tony answered, he kept a laser eyed focus on the pouting teen in front of them.
“Last month, this little idiot decided to take down two of the major drug rings in New York. Which made up about 250 armed and ruthless people. At once. Alone.”
While the super soldier looked appropriately horrified, the spider enhanced teen in question just scoffed.
“I wasn't alone.”
Tony rolled his eyes.
“Oh, right! My bad.”
He turned to Steve.
“He wasn't alone. He was backed up by a blind man and a drunk woman.”
Steve's appalled gaze swung back to Peter, who crossed his arms over his chest defiantly.
“Number one, Matt can dodge bullets almost as good as me, and number two, Jessica wasn't that drunk.”
“Are you talking about Daredevil and Jessica Jones?”
But Steve's question was ignored.
“Oh, that makes me feel so much better! The blind guy without a fashion sense knows when to duck and the alcoholic skipped a beer or two. You should have called the police!”
“Wait, I think I remember seeing this on the news back then. They called it the biggest bust of this decade.”
But again, no one seemed to be paying attention to Steve.
“We did! We had them secure the area.”
Peter threw his hands in the air.
“They should have gone in with you! Instead you just made them handle the ones trying to escape out of the warehouse.”
“Well of course! Do you know how many automatic guns these clowns had? The police could have gotten hurt!”
“You could have gotten hurt!”
Just like that the shouting stopped and in its place was an awkward, uncomfortable silence.
Then Peter deflated.
“I'm sorry, dad. You know I didn't do this to worry you. But Jess got the tip that the two groups were going to throw down that night just before it happened, and we were the only ones close enough at the time. If we hadn't corralled them in that warehouse, they might have taken their drug war to the streets.”
Tony similarly gave a defeated sigh.
“I know, kid. I know. You did good. I just... this is the kind of thing I want you to call me in for, or the other Avengers. And we weren't there. We are just never there when something big goes down here, and then you have to go at it alone and I hate that.”
Peter took the two steps separating him from his father (figure) and hugged him. Which was all the encouragement needed for Tony to wind his arms around his (surrogate) son as well.
“I wasn't alone. I was careful. I'm always careful. I promise.”
Tony held him tighter, buried his nose in the brown curls, and inhaled deeply.
“I know, kid. It's just so.. I can't lose you. I can't.”
Steve would have felt incredibly awkward, if it wasn't such a heart warming scene.
Who would have thought that the Tony Stark he had met years ago, fighting an Asgardian prince, would one day turn into this man?
Really, Steve thought, parenthood becomes you, Tony.
It took another thirty seconds for the father/son duo to untangle themselves from their hug, and Peter covertly wiped a small tear from his eyes.
“Is that the only reason you want me to come with on Avenger missions? So you can keep an eye on me?”
The teasing smirk on his lips betrayed the fact that Peter wasn't really upset. Tony scoffed, ruffling the shorter boys hair.
“I have a ground breaking technology Stark watch and an A.I. for that. But,... okay. It's part of the reason. I'm just really sick and tired of coming back from nowheresville fucktown, just to be told by my hysterical fiance that you have been wrestling mutated sewer crocodiles.”
“Oh please, like Pepper would ever be hysterical.”
“But I also know that you are more than capable for these kind of missions, and that you would be an absolute asset for the team.”
Peter visibly preened under the praise. It was cute. Then Tony suddenly snapped his fingers and fixed the teen with a suspicious glare.
“Hey, that reminds me, how come May hadn't joined my future wife in being hysterical? Fighting about 250 armed criminals definitely ranks in the top 10 justifiable reasons for being hysterical.”
Peter just grinned.
“Matt distracted her.”
“How the hell did he distract her from something like that?!”
“Remember how I said that he is almost as good as me at dodging bullets? Turns out he got hit by a few. Refused to say anything until the fight was over, then tried to just go home like nothing is wrong. Jessica stopped him and just threw him at me, told me to, and I quote, 'Get the french frying idiot some god donuts medical attention before he croaks like a little butt licorice'. Okay, that's not a direct quote, I may have paraphrased a little. Jess used way more swearwords. Like, way more. So I brought Matt to the tower. He nearly bled out in med bay. Helen wasn't there and aunt May assisted the on-call staff. Seeing that I only had some minor injuries after having to stitch back together a man who was adamantly refusing any kind of anesthetic, and cursed enough to make a sailor blush, probably just had her thankful enough not to stress over it any more.”
And Tony, … just blinked.
Steve took that moment to clear his throat.
“So Pete, what do you think? Just some light sparring between you and me for the start, then we will go from there.”
The teen nodded eagerly at first, but then shot a dubious look at the mechanic.
“What's the threat level?”
Tony clapped him on the shoulder encouragingly.
“'Bout a 5. Remember the training robots from the country music series? Keep that in mind, and you are good.”
While Tony's words did nothing but confuse Steve, something that he should really be used to by now, they seemed to be setting Peter's mind at ease.
The super soldier decided not to question it and instead waved Peter forward to the training mats.
“Okay, no weapons, no gadgets.”
He was interrupted when the door to the room opened and Natasha and Clint stepped in. Clint shot the trio a surprised look.
“Hey, didn't know anyone would be here. Did we miss team training?”
Peter jumped excitedly up and down, waving to the two.
“Hi Clint! Hi Tasha!”
Because of course Peter was allowed to call one of the deadliest women alive 'Tasha'. The two waved back at the teen.
“Hi squirt.”
“Hello little spider.”
Tony rolled his eyes as he answered Clint.
“Since only a percentage of the team is present, you quite obviously didn't miss team training. Cap wants to ascertain that Spidey is ready to join us for our next mission.”
He got two very different reactions to that.
Natasha nodded simply. “Good. It's about time.”
While Clint had a rather pinched expression on his face. “Don't you think he is too young for that?”
They turned to each other at once. “Really, Nat? The kid isn't even old enough to order a beer yet.”
They ignored Peter's “Beer is nasty, why would I ever order that?”, as Natasha countered
“He has been doing this for a few years already, and has some impressive fights to show for it. He also laid down Castle some time ago.”
(“Castle?! Frank Castle?! When did you meet that maniac? You fucking fought him?! Are you fucking kidding me?!”
“... eh, you see,... the thing is.... CAP! He said a bad language word!”
“Oh for the love of god, won't anybody ever let me live that down?”)
“Have you been spying on the kid, Nat?”
“Of course.”
(“Look, dad, I had to! Mr Castle was about to shoot that mugger!”
“I don't care if that guy points his gun at the fucking pope, as long as you stay the hell away from him!”
“You know Tony, it really wouldn't kill you to watch your language a bit.”)
“I know you have done more dangerous stuff when you were even younger than him, but that doesn't make it okay to put him in such a dangerous situation.”
“I wouldn't support the idea if I didn't think he could handle it, Clint.”
(“It's all good. Matt talked Mr Castle out of his murderous rage. I mean, he didn't so much use his words... more like his fists and teeth... and he kicked him a lot... Actually it might have been more of a fight than talking. But Jess said they are always like this. And Mr Castle even apologized to me after. Said I had a mean punch and to call him if I ever needed help.”
“He gave you his number?! You do not need the number of a homicidal maniac, we have Barnes for that!”
“Not cool, Tony. That's my boyfriend you are talking about.”)
The two long time friends and partners stared at each other for a long moment, until Clint gave in.
“Fine. I trust your judgment. But I want in on the assessment training Cap!”
The archer said loudly in the direction of where Steve stood, as both he and Natasha turned to the other three in the room.
They stopped short, however, when they were greeted with the sight of Peter having pretty much scaled the blond super soldier, crouching on the tall man's shoulders and holding his phone aloft, while Tony was all but grappling with Steve to get at the teenager, as Steve tried to keep the genius at bay and talk him out of deleting The Punisher from the kids contact list.
It was, perhaps worryingly, not the most bizarre thing they had ever seen.
I know that's a rather short chapter, but I know that some people have problems reading longer chapters in one sitting, and this was the most agreeable point at which to cut things off. The meaning of the threat level and the reference to country music will be explained in the next chapter.
The next chapter is already halfway written and shouldn't take too long for me to update here.
However, seeing as we are not yet at the point where the training begins, I would like to know your thoughts on how you think it's gonna go, and whether or not you feel my rant in the notes at the beginning is justified (I do tend to overreact sometimes when it concerns my favourite characters)