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Brown.
That’s all they could see when they opened their eyes.
They were cold, and they couldn’t breathe. A burn spread through their lungs and they had to get out-out-out!
Purple claws broke through the dirt as they hauled themselves up and out of the near frozen ground.
The trees, scattered around them, were covered in snow. Behind them, a coat of colors they didn’t have the names for yet hung from a wooden stake in the ground. Though they didn’t know why, something in their mind pushed them to take it down. They shrugged it on and noticed it was warm, even with the cold wind whipping around them. A sense of familiarity flooded their senses, but they couldn’t tell why.
They couldn’t remember anything. Not their name, not their race, not their job or their hair color or their eye color.
They had no memories, not of friends, not of family.
They were empty.
They felt the breath stick in their throat and their pulse quicken. Long nails dug into the earth below them and they did their best not to cry out loud.
‘Little one’ they heard a voice whisper in their ear.
When they turned to face the direction of the voice, they saw a young elven woman, with shock white hair tumbling down past her dark blue shoulders. Her dress was a blue slightly darker than her skin, with flickering sparkles on it. A jewel in the shape of a crescent moon rested in the center of her forehead.
‘Be calm, my child. You will find them soon.’
They wanted to ask her who they’d find, or what was going on, but no words would come.
‘Don’t speak, little one.’ She said, cupping their cheek in her hand. ‘I will guide you, my darling. You must trust me.’
They found themselves nodding, which caused the woman to chuckle. ‘Rest now, little one. I will take you where you need to go.’
She waved a hand and they felt their eyes slip closed, darkness washing over them.
~*~
Caduceus was taking watch by himself when he felt the air around him shift. It wasn’t too much of a surprise. The Wildmother had told him that a big change was coming. Slowly, he rose to his feet and turned.
He saw a blue elven woman, though she looked more like a girl to him. In her arms was a purple tiefling covered in jewelry and a familiar coat.
“Well.” He said. “This was not what I was expecting.”
The elven woman chuckled. “The Wildmother said you were interesting, Mr. Clay. I assume you know who I am and why I am here?”
Caduceus nodded slowly. “Yes, Mistress. I knew that they were a follower of the Moonweaver, but I didn’t know how devoted they were.”
The Moonweaver looked down at the tiefling in her arms. “I have… plans for Mollymauk. They have things they need to do.”
The firbolg moved towards them, slowly taking Mollymauk into his arms. “Yes, Mistress.”
Caduceus went to walk away, but the Moonweaver caught his arm gently. “Please, Mr. Clay. Watch out for them. All of them.”
Caduceus smiled. “I’ve been trying.”
With one last smile, the Moonweaver turned into a glittering white butterfly and took to the skies.
Caduceus rested them in his bedroll before going back to his watch, though he stayed near Mollymauk. The others would be rising soon, as it was only an hour or two from dawn.
In their sleep, Molly curled forward, wrapping himself almost completely around the firbolg, tangling their tails together. Caduceus smiled, and sent a silent prayer to the Wildmother, hoping She would pass it on to the Moonweaver.
~*~
They woke up curled around something warm and soft, with a gentle weight carding through their hair.
When their eyes opened, he was met with kind eyes and a gentle smile.
“Well, hi there.” He said quietly, running his hand through their hair. “Welcome back.”
They tried to speak but only one word could come out. “Empty.”
He frowned, and suddenly they knew they would do anything to see that smile again. “Well, that won’t do, dear. Perhaps Caleb will be able to help when he wakes.” He thought to himself for a moment.
“Mr. Clay?” A shrill voice said, blocked from their view. They sat up quickly, afraid of the sound. “Who are you talking to?”
“That’s a tricky question to answer, Nott. Why don’t you wake up the others and we’ll talk about it?”
They crawled into his lap and squeezed their eyes shut, shielding themself from the rest of the world.
“Shhhh.” He cooed. “It will be okay, friend. Why don’t you go back to sleep for a little while?”
Their eyes slipped shut again.
~*~
“Cad, why did you wake us up, man?” Beau complained, a surprisingly awake Yasha behind her.
“Yeah, Deuces, we had at least another half hour of sleep!” Jester whined, pulling a sleepy Fjord behind her.
Caleb was with them, though he looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, and perhaps he hadn’t. Caduceus had heard him crying out in his sleep. Sometimes he called for his parents, other times he called out for Mollymauk.
The Mighty Nein slowly came around Caduceus, eyes immediately falling to the colorful form in his lap.
“Is that-?” Fjord began but was cut off by Jester rushing forward.
“Molly?” She said, voice shaky but hopeful.
“They don’t remember anything,” Caduceus said gently. “The Moonweaver brought them here a few hours ago.”
“Wait- the Moonweaver, like the goddess?” Beau asked, eyes never leaving Mollymauk’s form.
“Well, yes.”
“But they are alive?” Yasha asked. Though she didn’t appear too moved to the untrained eye, Caduceus could tell she wanted to take her friend into her arms.
The firbolg nodded. “Yes, very much so. Though they are a bit jumpy. They haven’t let go of me since their Goddess left.”
“Have they woken up?” Fjord asked, eyes wide in shock.
“Yes, they probably will again soon.”
As if on cue, Molly’s red eyes flickered open. They regarded the others carefully, shrinking into Caduceus’ chest when they saw just how close Jester was. They relaxed slightly when they saw Caleb, tail flicking gently. The wizard moved towards the tiefling slowly, though he didn’t get close enough to touch. He looked like he was in a trance, tears in his eyes but none yet falling. They reached out one hand to him, opened their mouth to speak but-
“Empty.”
Caleb flinched and pulled his hand back, trance clearly broken. “Ich-I’m going on a walk.” He muttered out before stumbling into the forest.
Molly whimpered loudly, burrowing into Caduceus’ shoulder, face hidden by their pink hair.
“I’ll go,” Yasha said, hushing any silent conversations that might have been happening about who should go after Caleb.
~*~
Caleb didn’t get far, only far enough that no one heard his sobs. His poor Mollymauk. The voice that spoke just one word didn’t sound like their own at all. There was no silly accent that they never shared the true origin of, nor was there the usual teasing tone.
He slid back on a tree, settling on the stump. He brought his knees to his chest and did his best not to cry out. He felt the fire tickling his palms, itching to break free just like it always did when he was lost in his emotions.
He was so focused on not letting the fire loose that he didn’t hear Yasha coming up behind him. He didn’t see when she squatted in front of him, taking his palms in hers gently.
“Caleb.” She said, her voice steady and familiar and calming.
He looked up at her with wide blue eyes. “I know I shouldn’t have run. They need me but I, scheisse, Yasha, I cannot see them like that. Not now, I-” His voice broke off into sobs.
Yasha awkwardly pulled him into her arms. “It’s okay, Caleb. Everything is going to be okay.”
“What if they never remember?”
Yasha frowned, though Caleb couldn’t see her face. “They will. They’re Mollymauk. They’re full of surprises.”
Caleb let out a wet laugh. “Aren’t they just?”
Yasha pulled away, looking Caleb in the eyes. “We should go back.”
Caleb allowed himself to be pulled back to camp.
The rest of the Mighty Nein were clearly doing their best to pretend that they weren't watching Molly intently. The tiefling, still in Caduceus’ lap, had taken to playing with their jewelry, looking at it with child-like wonder.
Caleb approached slowly. He sat down across from Mollymauk and began to speak quietly.
“I know you probably don’t remember anything. But your name is Mollymauk Tealeaf, and you are so incredibly loved.” He reached under his shirt and pulled out the periapt, letting it catch the sun and glimmer. “Especially by me, mein Liebling,”
~*~
Mollymauk was fiddling with the decoration that hung off their horns. They didn’t know very much, but language was beginning to make sense again, and they were able to pick up bits of the conversations around them. The green man seemed stressed but was doing his best to calm the blue woman. They also noticed that the man whose lap they were sitting in was gently singing in their ear.
They felt safe with these people, though they didn’t know why. Everything in their body was screaming to go find the blue-eyed man that ran off, but their brain didn’t seem to be on the same page. It felt like their whole life story was on the tip of their tongue, just out of reach.
They were so focused on their jewels that they lost track of the world around them. They stopped noticing the firbolg’s singing or the hushed conversation around them.
“I know you probably don’t remember anything.” Their eyes snapped up to look at the human man. His eyes looked sad, but his voice was strong. “But your name is Mollymauk Tealeaf, and you are so incredibly loved.” He reached under his shirt and pulled out a necklace that glittered in the sun. “Especially by me, mein Liebling,”
Molly’s eyes did not leave the man’s face. They were racking their brain, begging to remember something. Their prayer was answered by a small voice in their ear.
‘You love them too, little one. Go to him and you will soon remember all.’
Suddenly, memories flashed behind their eyes. The human laughing as they pressed kisses to his cheeks. An orange cat that followed them around, swatting at their tail and their jewelry. The orange cat curled up in their lap and the human’s voice reading to him.
Molly crawled forward, untangling themself from the pink haired man. They threw their arms around the human, placing themself in his lap.
“Cat. Cat. Cat.”
“Cat?” The human asked. “Do you mean Frumpkin?” He snapped his hand and the orange cat from their memory appeared.
“Cat!” Molly said again, smiling. They remembered something!
“Yes, Mollymauk.” The human grinned, nuzzling his face in Molly’s hair. “I’m glad you’re back.”
Molly didn’t know a lot. They barely knew their name, but they knew they were glad to be back.
~*~
That rest of the day was quiet, most of the group too shocked to move on just yet. Molly had refused to let go of Caleb, which wasn’t a surprise, but they also refused to let go of Caduceus, tangling their tail around the firbolg’s wrist, a sound somewhere between a growl and a whine leaving their throat.
So, when they got ready for sleep, Caduceus moved his bedroll next to Caleb’s and allowed the tiefling to sandwich themself between them.
When they got up to take watch, Molly moved with them, curling up between them while Caduceus and Caleb watched their surroundings.
It was the dark that gave Caleb the courage to speak up.
“We were together before they died,” Caleb whispered. “We were planning on telling the others the day that they got kidnapped.”
“Does anybody else know?” Caduceus asked, regarding Caleb carefully.
“I think Yasha figured it out, but she hasn’t asked yet. Nott and Beau know, but they don’t know how serious we were.”
“And how serious was that?”
Caleb let out a shaky breath, regarding Molly’s sleeping form. They looked peaceful like this, curled up with their feet in Caduceus’ lap and their head in Caleb’s. They still looked too frail and too odd, too unlike Mollymauk, but Caleb was glad they were back where they belonged.
In his arms.
“I love them more than anything in the world.”
Caduceus nodded, humming like he didn’t already know the answer.
“I’m sure they’ll remember soon.”
~*~
Having Molly back was weird for the Nein, particularly when they remembered so little, but they were happy to have the blood hunter with them. Even Beau and Nott were mindful of the volume of their voices, giving them extra food at meals, smiling whenever they looked at the tiefling.
Jester showed them pictures she had drawn in an attempt to help them remember. It didn’t seem to work, but Molly seemed to enjoy the entertainment.
Molly clung to Caleb and Caduceus. They spent much of their time near one of them, though they preferred to be squeezed between them, though they couldn’t really figure out why. Caduceus guessed it was because he was the first one the tiefling saw when they woke, but, either way, he’d grown used to his purple shadow.
Molly, though they still didn’t talk much, liked to braid flowers into the firbolg’s hair and patch up clothes when they could, listening to Caduceus’ stories of home and their time as pirates. Caduceus found himself searching out their company more and more, finding their steady breathing and gentle humming incredibly calming, particularly when it was mixed with Frumpkin’s purring and Caleb’s accented voice.
He’d also grown used, and come to enjoy, spending time with Caleb. Having Molly back changed the human. He was still sad and closed off, but he smiled more. He made jokes and read to Caduceus and Mollymauk every night, just because he could. Caleb had learned Caduceus’ likes and dislikes, and he’d learned the human’s. Caduceus couldn’t still his fluttering heart when Caleb would say ‘oh no, schatz, Mr. Clay doesn’t like meat. I’ll find him something’ or ‘I bought you some flowers because they reminded me of you.’
So, this is the love Clarabelle had warned him about.
Huh.
~*~
Molly, though they didn’t really understand the passage of time just yet, knew that they’d been back for at least three sunsets when somethings started to make sense again.
Names never really stuck, but colors did and so did emotions and feelings.
There was the little green one. She was nice, though they could tell she was not comfortable around them just yet. She seemed to be holding herself back with them, but they loved the orange man more than anything, so she dealt with them.
Then there was the green man, much taller than the little green one. His accent was much different than all the others and he was a little awkward, but they liked him. His weapon looked vaguely familiar and sometimes, when Molly looked at it for a long time, something ached in their chest, like jealousy or want.
They stopped looking at it after that.
The blue woman was usually with one of the green ones and Molly liked her a lot. She was louder than the others, but Molly didn’t mind much. She was fun and always had stories to tell them, though they didn’t really know which, if any, were true. (They guess none).
There was the pale one. Besides the pink man and the orange man, Molly liked being with her the most. She was quiet and she looked kind of scary, but Molly knew she wasn’t. She asked to hug them when they were new, and she was so gentle, silent tears moistening their hair. She braided their hair and told them about the circus, something that none of the others knew about. They liked her. Molly decided that, if the pink man or the orange man were busy, they’d go to the pale one.
Usually gawking at the pale one was the other, less blue one. She was gentle with them, but they could see she was sad. Every time she slipped Molly some food or helped them make their bed, her eyes were weighed down with guilt and regret and sadness.
They wanted to fix it and tell her that it was okay, but they didn’t have enough words just yet.
The pink man, taller than all the others and much calmer, was the first person they had seen when they opened their eyes. Molly spent a lot of time with him, listening to his slow, drawling voice telling them stories. Molly found themself craving his touch, sleeping curled around him more often than not.
The orange man was a completely different animal. He was the only one that Molly had fleeting memories of, though they didn’t have a timeline or a name, just a feeling.
Love.
Whenever the orange man looked at them, Molly felt like they were whole and happy. Their tail was constantly reaching out for him, sometimes without Molly even noticing. They liked being with the orange man.
They liked being squished between the pink and the orange men even more.
~*~
Caleb had always found Caduceus fascinating. He was drawn to the firbolg, a feeling he hadn’t felt since he’d first met Molly, an urge to talk and tell and love.
But he’d just lost Molly, and he couldn’t betray their memory so soon, so he pulled away, keeping Caduceus at an excruciating arm’s length away.
But then Molly was back, pulling Caduceus and Caleb together again, drawing the two to them.
And Caleb was the happiest he’d been in a long time.
He was with Molly again and, even though Molly wasn’t completely awake yet, they were here and alive and with him, in his arms. Even in their state, they could sense his emotions, hugging him when he got overwhelmed, purring and petting his hair.
Gods, he’d missed them more than anyone could know.
Then there was Caduceus, who Molly kept with them, and thus Caleb, more often than not. Caleb noticed little things that he couldn’t notice with the distance he’d created, like how Caduceus sang while he worked, usually in Sylvan or Giant, or how he often pretended to eat or drink something even if he hated it.
After that, Caleb was careful to pick out things that he knew Caduceus would enjoy, like mango and dates, just to see that big, dopey grin.
He found himself longing for the nights, something he never thought was possible with his nightmares, sleeping peacefully with the two people he cared for more than anything within reach.
~*~
Molly’s eyes flickered open, chattering noise startling them awake They sat up, whining slightly when they saw that the pink and orange men were not with them in the tent.
Wait.
That wasn’t regular chatter.
That was the sound of battle.
They threw open the tent and stepped out. It was dark, though because clouds were covering the sun, not because it was night.
The green man and the little green woman were fighting something humanish and tall. The blue woman, the pale woman, and the less blue woman were engaged with something that looked a bit like a cat, only huge and mean.
The pink man was standing off to the side engaged in a fight with the same creature as the green ones, only this one was even bigger and meaner looking. The pink man was bloodied and bruised, his stick raised to block a blow intended for a brown lump behind him.
Wait- that lump had orange hair.
Molly sprung into action, reaching blindly for the swords that they kept by their bedroll. The pale woman had given them the two swords the day they’d woken up in attempt to jog their memory. Without thinking, they dragged the blades across their skin.
Ouch, why would they do that?
They watched in awe as ice soon crusted the blades.
Right, weird blood magic. Someone had mentioned that.
“Hey, asshats!” They shouted, a new language sprung from their throat without a thought. “Over here!”
The giant winced, as if the words had hurt him, before stumbling towards the loud tiefling.
“Molly, no!” They heard the green man- Fjord, their mind supplied (hey that’s new)- scream, but they were too focused on saving Caleb and Caduceus.
They rushed forward, swinging widely, landing hit after hit on the giant, thankful for the damage it had already sustained. It fell in a matter of moments, a loud thump ringing through the woods.
By the time they’d finished it off, the others had killed their rivals, watching Molly in slack jawed-awe.
Molly dropped their swords. “Caleb!” they shrieked, scurrying over to Caduceus, who was already healing the human. “Caduceus, is he going to be okay? What can I do?”
“He’ll be okay, I’m sure.” Caduceus reached out his head, pressing his palm to Caleb’s chest. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and spoke a quiet prayer. The firbolg’s hand glowed with a soft swirl of pink and teal.
Below him, Caleb gave out a small gasp before blue eyes flickered open. He sat up quickly, clutching his head. “Gods, schiebe, that hurt.”
“Caleb!” Molly said, falling to their knees and throwing their arms around the human’s neck. “I heard the screaming, I was so scared.” They pulled back, coming face to face with Caleb’s shocked expression. “Caleb, why are you looking at me like that?”
Caleb brought a trembling hand to their cheek. “Mollymauk?” He said, his voice colored with awe.
“Yes? Dear, what’s this all abo- Oh. Oh right.” They trailed off, the memories from before the fight coming back to their mind. “Well, at least I remember this time.”
“My Mollymauk.” Caleb whispered, pulling their lips to his. “Mein liebling.”
“I’m here. I remember. I love you so much, Mr. Caleb.” They whispered back, taking a few moments to savor the feeling of being in Caleb’s arms again before they stood, facing the rest of the party.
They looked about as shocked as expected, though Yasha and Nott looked smug. Caduceus, who had moved to heal Beau just winked at them but did not speak.
“So… I’m back?” Molly said with a flourish of their hands.
That was the only prompt the Mighty Nein needed. They were surrounding Molly in a moment, hugging and crying.
“Molly!” Jester sobbed, wrapping her arms around their thin frame. “Thank the Traveler, we missed you so much. We have so much more to tell you. I got a weasel and a puppy and Beau got an owl but it flew away and never came back-”
“I’m sure the unpleasant one deserved it.”
“Oh fuck you, Molly.”
Yeah, they were glad to be back.
~*~
Being fully back from the dead was weird.
They remembered their first week out of the ground, but it was fuzzy.
One of the only things they remembered vividly was how safe they felt sandwiched between his darling Caleb and Caduceus.
It made no sense really. They’d known Caleb for a while sure, but they’d never met Caduceus before their little stint in the afterlife.
But apparently, that didn’t matter to Molly’s heart.
Though Caleb and Molly were even more inseparable since Molly fully came to, Caduceus was often with them. Even when the firbolg tried to give them some space (because the firbolg wasn’t completely naïve. He knew that couples sometimes needed alone time), the pair would search him out, particularly at night, often pulling their bedrolls as close as they could justify.
When Molly would go into a town, they would find themself searching for things that Caleb and Caduceus would like, going out of their way to find tea shops and bookshops.
They didn’t really address their feelings, until they were forced to, in true Mollymauk fashion.
“So,” Beau had said one day, a few weeks after their ‘awakening’ as they had come to call it. (They don’t know who thought it was a good idea to send the pair of them on a shopping trip, but here they are) “When are you and Caleb going to address the fact that you are both in love with Caduceus?”
Molly stopped in their tracks, almost dropping the vial of lavender perfume they were holding (That they bought completely for them, not because Caduceus and Caleb mentioned they liked the smell of it). “What the bloody hell are you talking about, unpleasant one?”
Beau rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean, Tealeaf. You and Caleb haven’t left his side since the Moonweaver dropped you off. At first, we thought it was because Caddy was the first one you had seen, but that’s bullshit. You’ve been back for nearly a month and the three of you have been attached at the damn hip.
“Plus, Caleb and Caduceus were carrying a candle for each other before, but Caleb was too afraid to offend your memory and Caduceus was afraid to cross any lines so soon after he’d lost a lover.”
Molly remained silent, though the thought of Caduceus being with them made their heart skip a few beats.
“Now, I’m not saying you idiots have to get married or whatever but get your shit together at least. I don’t want to have to ever talk to you about your love life again, obnoxious one.” Beau said, punching their shoulder.
Molly rolled their eyes, but still, a smile crossed their face. “Whatever you say, All-Knowing One.”
~*~
When Molly broached the subject to Caleb, a few days after their chat with Beau, the human blushed almost immediately.
“So,” Molly said, draping their body across Caleb’s lap. “A little blue owl told me you were carrying a bit of a candle for our dear Caduceus before I came back. That true, darling?”
“I-uh- Before I knew you were alive, the thought crossed my mind, but ah-” Caleb struggled. “But I couldn’t. Not so soon after losing you.”
Molly pressed a kiss to the center of his forehead. “I quite like him too, my love. I see the appeal.”
“Oh?” Caleb asked, his voice surprisingly neutral.
Molly suddenly felt very nervous, fiddling with their nails. “Yeah, uh. I like him a lot. Like, a lot a lot.”
Caleb nodded, bringing his hand to cup Molly’s cheek, the tiefling leaning into his touch. “I like him too.”
“Sooooo,” Molly said, a small smile on their face. “What do we do with that information?”
“The only thing we can do, liebling. We have to talk to Caduceus.”
~*~
After a bit more discussion, the pair decided it was time to talk to Caduceus.
“Caddy?” Molly said, entering their shared room, Caleb right on their tail. “Are you in here, darling?”
A familiar head of pink hair popped up behind changing divider. “Yes, lavender. Just a moment.” After some shuffling, Caduceus emerged, dressed in flowy, pale linen shirt and pants. “What can I do for you two?”
“Well, uh…” Molly trailed off, looking to Caleb for help, a deep purple blush high on their cheeks.
“We wanted to know if you could talk for a moment. We have some… things we’d like to discuss.”
Caduceus smiled and nodded, ears flopping slightly. “Sure thing. You wanna sit on the floor? I just made some tea for us.”
Molly happily took the cup of tea, sitting in a triangle with Caduceus and Caleb on either side of them. “So, Caddy, Caleb and I wanted to talk about something kind of personal, if you don’t mind.”
Caduceus tilted his head to the side but nodded regardless. “You can talk to me about anything, Molly.”
“Mollymauk and I were talking a bit earlier about our relationship and, as much as we love each other, we both found ourselves caring very deeply for you in a similar way,” Caleb said, avoiding Caduceus’ perspective purple gaze.
Caduceus smiled, a dopey little smile across his face. “Yeah?”
“And, if you’re interested, we’d like you to…” Molly trailed off, struggling to find the right word. “… join us in our relationship.” (Molly realized that wording was odd, but they were too flustered to think of anything better. Plus, it was best to speak plainly with Caduceus, right?)
“Oh, oh that’s nice,” Caduceus said, his deep voice barely a whisper with adoration. “I’d like that a lot. I have to admit, you’ve both drawn me in more than I was expecting when I left my home a half a year ago.”
“The Mighty Nein has that effect on people.” Molly grinned. “Now, what do we think about a cuddle puddle?”
Caduceus nodded, standing to his full height. He then reached down to help both Molly and Caleb up, bending down and pressing a brief kiss to both of their lips as he did. “That sounds nice, lavender.”
They moved to the bed together, settling in for a night’s rest (and perhaps a few more kisses) before another busy day in the morning.
As Molly began to drift off, surrounded by the men they loved, a horrible thought crossed across their brain.
They had Beau to thank for this.
They’d just have to get her, Yasha, and Jester together to make up for it.