Work Text:
Marcus couldn’t sleep on his bed. His bed, the first real bed he’d had since the boys home, and he couldn’t fucking sleep on it.
It wasn’t like he didn’t try, either. At night, Marcus would toe off his shoes, crawl under the thin sheets, and close his eyes, but it never worked. Somehow, it always felt more like he was following a checklist than trying to fall asleep. He’d toss and turn, attempt every possible sleeping position at least once, but none were comfortable. The bed was too high up off the floor, mattress too soft in comparison to the hard ground, and it fucking sucked.
I’m such a fuck-up, Marcus couldn’t help but think as he dragged himself up out of bed for the third night in a row, sheet pulled with him in white-knuckled fists. Gently, his socked feet touched the floor and he laid down on the hardwood. His arm reached up blindly to the top of the mattress, patting around until he found his pillow, and pulled it down with him.
Marcus shoved the pillow carelessly underneath his head. He shuffled for a moment to get comfortable, adjusting in such a way that had one of the floorboards creaking, a loud wail.
Marcus froze, heart pounding.
His eyes flew across the room to the other bed where a tuft of blonde hair was jutting up from underneath several layered blankets. Billy huffed out a breath, shifting in his sleep, but gave no other indication of being disturbed by the sound.
Marcus let out a deep sigh, carefully adjusting his sheet the rest of the way so that it fully covered him, from his shoulders to his toes. “What the fuck is wrong with me,” he murmured quietly to himself, mindful of the several assassins in training that doubled as not only his roommate but also his next-door neighbors.
Look, Marcus had no problem with Billy. Really, none. If anything, Billy was the closest thing Marcus had to a friend in this shithole besides Petra (The jury was still out on Lex, if Marcus was being honest with himself. The guy was kind of an asshole). But there was still a constant anxiety thrumming underneath Marcus’s skin- a worry that began when he was sent to the boys home and hadn’t left since. The kind that followed him around, during the day and at night, the kind that told him not to let others to close and to stay alert because people always end up hurting him, always end up leaving him, always-
Marcus took in a shaky breath, curling up under the sheet and staring up at Billy once more to make sure he didn’t stir, although it probably wasn’t necessary. If there was one thing Marcus had learned about Billy since they’d started rooming together it was that Billy was one of the deepest sleepers Marcus had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Even so, there was something about looking up and seeing that someone else was in the room that simultaneously scared and comforted Marcus.
He could trust Billy. Billy wouldn’t let anyone hurt him. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt Billy.
Billy was his friend.
Marcus rolled over, turning so that his back was to the other boy and he faced his own unoccupied bed. The solid material of the hardwood floor underneath him settled something in his chest and his breathing slowed, his eyes closing.
After a few minutes of trying to clear his mind, Marcus finally felt himself drifting off, the calm and fuzzy darkness of sleep edging itself around the corners of his consciousness. The humming of anxiety under his skin was fading, fading, fading-
A noise carried from across the room.
Marcus’s eyes jolted open, a sharp gasp pulling it’s way out of his throat. He stayed still, frozen, muscles tense. His instincts screamed at him to pretend to be asleep, to act harmless so that the crazy person trying to steal his shit wouldn’t realize he was awake, would come close enough that Marcus would be able to catch them off guard and take them down, would-
The person made another sound, but this time the fuzziness in Marcus’s head had cleared enough that he understood.
The sound was a whimper, and the person was Billy.
Marcus turned over to face his roommate’s bed, his sheet getting tangled up in his legs in his rush to do so. At first, nothing seemed too out of the ordinary. Billy had moved since the last time Marcus had looked over at him, had turned toward Marcus’s side of the room. His face was half shielded by his covers, but from what Marcus could tell, he seemed calm.
Calm, that is, until another small sound passed Billy’s lips. It was soft, a quiet moan of pain and fear that ignited a protective fire in Marcus’s stomach. Without thinking he moved, abandoning his sheet on the ground and shuffling across the room to Billy’s side with no hesitation.
That was the easy part, though because now that Marcus had Billy in front of him, he had no idea what to do.
Billy seemed to be getting more distressed, the small sounds making their way out of his mouth every few seconds or so. His eyes were squeezed shut in a way that looked almost painful, and he was shifting now, too. Billy’s hands clenched his blankets in tight-knuckled fists, pulling them up to his face in a protective gesture that unwillingly reminded Marcus of the story Billy had told him about his father days before. With that realization and the moonlight coming through the window, the slight bruising still visible above Billy’s right eyebrow was suddenly much more difficult to overlook.
Fury rose in Marcus’s chest at the thought, but he pushed it down. Focus on Billy, Marcus thought, reaching out a hand to touch his friend’s shoulder. Help Billy now, beat the shit out of Billy’s dickhead father later.
“Billy,” Marcus said, his voice breaking the silence, his hand brushing Billy’s upper arm. When Marcus made contact, Billy flinched back hard, and he let out a loud, scared moan. Marcus hissed, retracting his hand before he freaked his friend out further.
“Please,” Billy pleaded, and the sound was so out of character for his friend that Marcus flinched back as well. Guilt welled up in his throat as he watched Billy pull the blanket tighter still around him. Jostling his friend wasn’t going to work, Marcus knew that now, and he cursed himself for being so thoughtless.
“Billy,” Marcus said louder, worry over waking other students ignored in favor of helping his friend. At the sound of Marcus’s voice, though, Billy’s shuffling slowed just so. It was a barely-there change, noticeable to Marcus alone, but it was something.
Motivated by the positive reaction, Marcus spoke again. “Hey Billy, it’s me, Marcus,” he said, trying to project all of the calm that he possessed into his voice. “It’s alright, you’re okay, we’re at school, you’re safe, I’m here…” Marcus knew he was babbling, knew that if this was any other situation and any other person he would be too embarrassed to say any of this stuff, but it was working. Billy was calming down, coming back to himself, and if this was what Marcus had to do to help his friend, then fuck it, he was going to do it.
“You’re alright, man, it’s Marcus from school, we’re safe, it’s gonna be alright…”
Finally, after a few minutes, Billy’s eyes opened, and Marcus couldn’t have held back his sigh of relief if he’d tried. Although his eyes were still cloudy, the green slightly fogged over, they were making contact with Marcus’s own, and that’s all he could ask for.
“Hey man, you with me?” Marcus said. Billy’s grasp on his sheet had loosened, his hands shaking in their now gentle grip on the fabric. Slowly, giving enough time for Billy to pull away, Marcus moved his hands to place them on top of Billy’s own. Billy didn’t flinch, his eyes boring into Marcus’s with a careful intensity that made Marcus both want to look away and never stop staring.
Billy’s shaking calmed marginally as Marcus slowly moved their joined hands down to Billy’s chest, taking the sheet with them to reveal his friend’s face. Tear tracks streaked their way down Billy’s cheeks, the glare of the moonlight reflecting off of them gently. His lower lip trembled slightly, visible despite being sucked into his mouth. His eyes were wide where they stared into Marcus’s, but now they were clear.
“Hey, man,” Marcus said, trying for a smile, but he doubted it came through. He’d been told he was shit at smiling even in the best of circumstances. It seemed to be enough for Billy, though, whose lips twitched upward, and the knot in Marcus’s chest loosened just so.
They sat in the quiet for a moment, Billy still catching his breath, the sound of it rushing in and out seeming extra loud in the silence of the room. Billy kept his head down so that Marcus couldn’t see his face, but his shoulders heaved with each shallow inhale. Without thinking, Marcus began rubbing slow circles onto the tops of Billy’s hands where they were still clenched in his own. One of the few things, Marcus mused, that he may still have stored away that reminded him of his mother. The thought didn’t bother him as much as it once did.
After Billy’s breathing had slowed to a point where it seemed almost normal, Marcus cleared his throat, acutely aware of their still-clasped hands. “Billy…,” Marcus started, unsure of what to say, but Billy beat him to it. Marcus shouldn’t have been surprised, but he was. Everyone was always underestimating Billy.
“Can I, uh,” Billy started, his voice cracking. It sounded wet, too, and the meekness of it almost made Marcus tear up himself. Billy broke eye contact with him, staring down at their clasped hands for a moment before looking back up again. Marcus didn’t move, didn’t dare, content to let Billy lead.
Again, everyone was always underestimating Billy.
“Could we hug?” Billy asked, voice measured and careful. Marcus startled, hands flinching up from Billy’s in surprise. Billy winced, breaking eye contact with Marcus once more. “I mean, it’s okay if not, dude, I was only asking, barely being serious anyway, mostly kidding to be honest-”
Billy’s rushed, embarrassed rant pulled Marcus out of whatever stupor he had put in. For the second time that night he found himself moving without thinking. Letting go of Billy’s hands, Marcus sat up from where he had been kneeling on the ground, knees protesting at the sudden change, and climbed up to sit on the edge of Billy’s bed. An instinctual, natural feeling lead Marcus to pull his arms around Billy, feeling the warmth of his back against his flat palms. Billy’s own arms wavered in the air for a moment before settling around Marcus’s torso, wrapping tightly around his chest and squeezing.
It was nice, Marcus thought. Excluding Saya, he hadn’t had a hug in… well, he hadn’t had a hug in a while. Billy was warm, and his breath was soft on the side of Marcus’s neck. Marcus’s head had found a comfortable place to settle in the crook of Billy’s shoulder. It was… nice. A sniffle sounded by Marcus’s ear, the front of his shirt growing a bit damp, and Marcus pulled his arms tighter around his friend.
“Sorry,” Billy said, sounding less apologetic and more embarrassed. “I don’t mean to be…” he sucked in a breath, let it out, “needy, or weird, or whatever.” Another sniffle, quieter this time, and Marcus’s heart clenched.
“I’m always down for a good hug, man,” Marcus said, surprising himself with how honest he sounded, and with the realization that the statement was true- at least, true for Billy.
Billy let out a small huff that Marcus recognized as a laugh, and something loosened further in his chest. “Kinda gay,” Billy said, no malice in his voice, and he pulled back just slightly to rest his forehead on Marcus’s shoulder. Marcus pulled him impossibly closer and they slotted together just so, two parts of a puzzle joining at the perfect angle.
Marcus shrugged as much as he could without jostling his friend. “Nothin’ wrong with that.”
He felt more than saw the responding smile against his chest.
They sat quietly again for a few moments, breathing in tandem. Marcus didn’t want to move. It was for Billy’s sake, really. This was for Billy, and nothing else, and that was why Marcus didn’t want to move.
It wasn’t because he was enjoying this. No, definitely not.
Albeit reluctantly, Billy finally pulled back from Marcus’s chest. His head was still slightly tilted downwards, and he looked up at Marcus with hooded eyes.
“Sorry-” he started again, but Marcus cut him off before he had the chance to continue.
“Nope, no apologies,” Marcus said. “Nightmares are not your fault, and everyone gets them. It’s cool.”
Billy nodded in reluctant acceptance before letting out an attempt at a laugh. “I guess I woke you up, huh,” Billy said, the sharp quality of the sound ruining his attempt at levity. The guilt was clear in Billy’s voice, and Marcus’s heart twinged.
“Not really. I was still half awake when I heard you. But Billy,” Marcus said, making sure that he held eye contact with his friend before going on, “even if I had been asleep, it wouldn’t have been a problem.”
Billy let out a little hum, not necessarily the indication of understanding that Marcus was hoping for.
“Dude, I mean it,” Marcus insisted.
Billy looked away slightly, clearly not believing what Marcus was saying. “Alright, man,” he said, voice dry.
“I’m serious,” Marcus said, frustrated that Billy wasn’t getting it. Something must have come across in his tone, though, because Billy looked back at Marcus, and they held eye contact once more. Marcus took a deep breath before speaking again. “I’m serious,” he repeated. “Even if I was having the best sleep of my life and you’d woken me up by screaming at the top of your fucking lungs, it would’ve been fine. I’m here for you, dude. I mean that.”
Billy’s eyes were wide, and Marcus had no doubt that the shock was mirrored on his own face as well. What the fuck is wrong with me tonight, Marcus thought.
“Thanks, Marcus,” Billy said, and the sincerity of it stirred something warm in Marcus that he quickly pushed down.
“Anytime,” Marcus said, standing up from Billy’s bed, hearing his back crack in a few places. He turned from Billy, feeling quite satisfied with how everything went down, when his friend spoke again.
“Were you sleeping on the floor?”
Marcus froze before pivoting slowly to face his friend. “Depends?”
“Depends on what?”
Fuck. “On whether or not you’ll believe me if I say no?”
Billy laughed, rolling his eyes. “Your blanket and pillow are lying next to your bed. I know I’m stupid, but I’m not a complete idiot.” Billy said, his voice light, a wide grin making its way across his face.
Marcus wanted to go with his friend’s attitude, pretend like nothing was wrong, but he couldn’t make himself. Logically, he knew Billy wasn’t making fun of him, but Marcus couldn’t help but feel defensive. He clenched his jaw. “Listen, I’m not doing it because I want to, beds just don’t really… work for me. It’s not that weird. And I’m not in your way, so I don’t see why it’s even a problem for you at all-”
“It’s not a problem for me,” Billy interrupted, voice level but the implication of his statement lay firm in the air between them.
Billy’s eyes were carefully tracking Marcus’s movements where he stood, and Marcus cursed in his head. He forced himself to relax, his hands unclenching from the fists they had made without him even noticing.
“No, I know it’s not, I’m sorry,” Marcus said, arms coming up to cross over his chest.
“Don’t sweat it,” Billy said, relaxing where he sat on his bed, hand moving to run through his hair. Marcus couldn’t stop his lips from quirking up slightly at the sight of Billy’s mohawk bedhead. His hair was already a bit of a mess, pieces sticking up in some places, completely flattened in others. It was cute, more than anything. The thought should have freaked Marcus out more than it did.
“Isn’t it uncomfortable, though?” Billy asked, and Marcus quickly pulled his gaze away from Billy’s hair and back to his eyes, where it should have been all along, dammit.
Marcus shrugged, arms still crossed. “I mean, a little? But I’m used to that. The bed is just too soft, so, you know. You take what you can get.”
Billy was quiet for a second, clearly in thought. Marcus ran a hand through his own hair, knots in the curls catching against his fingers.
Without warning, Billy stood, causing Marcus to take a step back in alarm. “Woah, woah, what are you doing?” Marcus said, hands out flat in front of him he was placating a scared animal.
Billy turned back to his bed, grabbing his sheet and pillow before turning back to Marcus, a look on his face that said he thought Marcus was the crazy one. “What do you mean, ‘what are you doing’?” He scoffed, moving past Marcus towards where Marcus’s own blankets were, Billy’s sheet catching in the air behind him and moving like a cape. “I’m sleeping on the floor, too.”
Billy threw his pillow on the ground about a foot away from Marcus’s own, before dropping down next to it and beginning to straighten out his blankets. Marcus stood in shock, arms at his sides, before shaking out of his stupor. Jesus, he could never keep up with this kid.
Marcus walked over to where his own blanket and pillow lay and sat down. “That’s stupid,” he said, staring as Billy didn’t even look up at him, too focused on fixing his sheets.
“Not really,” Billy responded, still not looking up at his friend.
This was stupid. Just because Marcus couldn’t get his shit together enough to sleep on a bed like a normal person didn’t mean that Billy had to suffer with him. If anything, Billy deserved to sleep on a comfortable mattress after the nightmare he’d had, and whatever hero complex shit he had that made him want to sleep on the floor with Marcus was bullshit.
But Marcus didn’t know how to say any of that, so he just said, “This is bullshit.”
Billy finally looked up at Marcus, seeming to be content with his makeshift bed. “Dude,” Billy said. “This shit goes both ways. I’m here for you, remember? It’s only been like, two minutes, c’mon.”
Marcus sighed, slouching down where he sat. “You don’t have do do this,” he said, looking up at Billy through the wisps of his hair, making one last attempt at persuasion.
Billy nodded, settling down under his blankets. “I know.”
For once, Marcus didn’t have to be mindful of the floorboards creaking as he got comfortable, the wood squealing several times as both he and Billy shuffled under their sheets. Billy turned to face his own side of the room, back to Marcus, and Marcus followed his example, turning away from his friend.
It was awkward for a few minutes, but Marcus got the feeling that it was more something in his head than a vibe that Billy felt as well. Marcus found himself holding his breath a few times as if his mere presence would disturb Billy’s sleeping. Eventually, though, he found himself relaxing, the knowledge that his friend was watching his back as he slept making him feel secure in a way that he normally couldn’t. Just as Marcus was beginning to feel himself dozing off, Billy spoke up.
“I’ve known you’ve been sleeping on the floor for a while.”
Marcus let out a resigned sigh. Sure, he’d thought he was being slick by waking up just before Billy and moving onto his mattress, but Marcus was an assassin-in-training, not a spy. As evidenced by his work in class, stealth was not really his thing.
“Damn. Guess I’m never gonna live my dream of being part of the KGB,” Marcus said, sleep making his voice drag. Billy let out a little giggle that despite his exhaustion had Marcus practically glowing. It was quiet for a few moments before Marcus spoke again. “How’d you find out?”
Billy laughed, a quick, gentle thing that had Marcus smiling into the darkness. “Do you really think I’m that deep of a sleeper?” He asked, teasing. “I’d see you there on the ground every morning and just wait to get up until you were all settled back on your bed.”
Marcus bit his lip. “You could’ve just called me out, though. It would’ve been easier.”
He couldn’t see his friend, but Marcus imagined that Billy shrugged. “Didn’t wanna freak you out,” he said, as though the answer was obvious, a matter-of-fact.
A heat ran over Marcus’s cheeks, and he coughed. “I wouldn’t have freaked out,” he said, the words sounding like a lie even to his own ears.
Billy let out a small breath of air. “Uh huh, sure, whatever you say.” It was teasing without being patronizing, and Marcus smiled.
“Shut up,” he said, but there was no real heat to the words.
Quiet again, for a long moment, and then a “Thanks, Marcus,” so quiet that Marcus almost didn’t hear.
“Thank you,” Marcus replied. Silence, then, until Billy’s breathing evened out.
Marcus smiled to himself as he fell asleep.