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In this very moment, Taehyung was helping pack up his happiness to be shipped away. A.K.A., his best friend, Jungkook, was moving into his new college dorm tomorrow and Taehyung was helping him finish packing.
It surprised Taehyung how many old memorabilia Jungkook still had, and how good of a condition everything was still in. Like pictures they took together at their favorite swingset when they were about eleven didn’t have a speck of dust on them. Under pictures like that were ones from high school, wherein at least two were pictures of their first, and only time trying to smoke weed. Taehyung cringed at the embarrassing thought.
Taehyung quickly slipped the pictures into an envelope and placed them with others. Jungkook absolutely had tons, he would probably need a box for pictures alone.
“Jungkook-ah, how many photos do you have stashed away in this room??” Taehyung laughed, picking up some other knick-knacks and placing them carefully in a box.
“Well, think about it,” Jungkook placed his hands on his hips and faced his friend, “I’ve owned some kind of camera since I was nine, I’m now what? Twenty? Wow.” Jungkook shook his head, smiling to himself.
“Eleven years, time flies.” Taehyung says, turning back to continue packing up Jungkook’s things.
About 10 minutes later, they needed another couple boxes, and Jungkook offered to go get some from the garage. While Jungkook was gone, Taehyung moved onto his dresser, nosing at things he was curious about and may have even forgotten about, some things were so old.
After filling the clothes boxes with his clothes, Taehyung noticed something in the back of the drawer, a small box of a sort with a lock on it and no key in sight. Now, Taehyung was really curious. What could be in it? Porno magazines? A murder weapon? Jungkook’s colorful wardrobe?
Taehyung reached out his hand and swear he barely brushed the object when Jungkook came back upstairs, about three more boxes in hand. “Sorry, mom stalled me.”
“It’s no problem.” Taehyung mumbled, the words barely reaching Jungkook’s ears.
Taehyung kept packing, ignoring the box and eventually forgetting about it until they were done about an hour later. They both flopped back on Jungkook’s nearly bare bed (they’d packed everything except two blankets and pillows), both taking a moment to think.
“So, you’re really gonna be… “gone”, soon?” Taehyung questioned, still processing that yes, his life-long best friend was going off to college for a few years starting in just a few days. God, that scared the shit out of him. Taehyung is Taehyung because Jungkook is Jungkook. And without Jungkook, Taehyung doesn’t know what the hell he’s going to do.
“You could always come with me, Tae.” Jungkook chuckles.
Tae shrugged. He was taking a gap year unofficially to figure what he actually wanted to go to college for in the first place. He felt strongly towards photography, it being one of the only things he was passionate about, but he felt like he would be copying Jungkook a little too much. “What would I even do?”
“I dunno, be my friend through college?” Jungkook smiled, Taehyung could hear it. “But just do something you want to! Anything!”
“I don’t know what I wanna do!” Taehyung sat up and sighed, running a hand through his hair, tussling it up. Jungkook sat up after him.
“Then okay. I’ll support you either way, Tae. I’ll just miss you being by my side, ‘s all.” Jungkook’s voice went quiet.
Taehyung looked forward, soon getting a tight side hug from his friend. “I’ll miss you too, Kookie.”
Jungkook awh-ed, then let go of his friend, “We’re getting too sappy, let’s watch a movie or something.” Jungkook slid off the bed, Taehyung following in pursuit as they left to the living room.
They decided on a movie they’d seen thousands of times, since they were first just getting to know each other. It’s one of the first things they bonded over.
“I’m making popcorn, be right back.” Jungkook says as he slips in the DVD, leaving Taehyung to watch the menu selection come up and listen to the cheesy background music. He scrolls through his instagram feed, blindly liking the pictures as he skim-reads mostly boring captions.
Jungkook comes back a few minutes later, plopping himself down on the couch and placing the large bowl of buttery popcorn on the coffee table. He turned down the TV by a few volumes and let the movie play, “My mom and dad just got into bed so it can’t be too loud.” Taehyung nods, leaning back against his spot on the couch and trying to get comfy.
“Tae..!” Jungkook whined, not even ten seconds later. Taehyung hummed in response, looking over to his best friend who was holding his arms out like a child grabbing at a stuffed animal. “Come here.”
Tae scooched over to Jungkook, first laying down slightly on the extended part of the couch so he could lean against Jungkook (he was practically in his lap), and his arms were soon wrapped around Taehyung’s waist.
Taehyung silently basked in the warmth, smiling to himself every time he zoned out from the movie to think about it. He’d noticed something about himself recently. He liked his best friend. Not like a friendly like, as in, Taehyung found himself thinking about Jungkook in ways a best friend shouldn’t. He came to terms with it and made a vow that he would never tell Jungkook.
That was a few months ago. Now, Jungkook was going to be out of Taehyung’s daily routine and Taehyung couldn’t quite fathom how much that would change things for him. He wanted to tell him! He did, but he couldn’t find the right time or place. Taehyung figured there’d be a right time and place but with time running out to confess, he started revoking that thought.
Maybe tonight he could tell Jungkook? Taehyung was going to be here anyway… So actually, no. What if Jungkook didn’t feel the same (he probably didn’t, Taehyung noted)? Then Taehyung would be stuck in the same room as him trying to fall asleep in the same bed with awkward tension so damn thick not even Jungkook could breach it, and God, Jungkook was strong.
God, really Taehyung? Taehyung shook his head slightly, sarcastically disappointed in himself. Fucking muscle kink.
Taehyung shoved the oncoming wave of inappropriate thoughts into a box and put it on the top shelf of his mental closet, destined to be found again eventually.
Jungkook suddenly spoke, making Taehyung flinch out of his mind palace. “You okay?”
Taehyung heard the vibrations move through Jungkook’s chest since his head was pressed up against it. Taehyung’s face heated up slightly, causing Taehyung to sound a little unconvincing with his answer of “yeah”.
“You’re zoning out, you sure? We don’t have to watch this if you don’t want to.” Jungkook mumbled, turning the TV down a little more so Taehyung could hear him clearly.
“No, no, I’m fine. Don’t worry.” Taehyung pat Jungkook’s hands that were resting on his stomach, smiling even though Jungkook probably couldn’t see it.
Jungkook turned the volume back up, reaching to put the popcorn next to him which resulted in Jungkook literally breathing down the side of Taehyung’s neck, which bothered him more than he cared to admit.
Taehyung was dozing off near the end of the movie, it seemed longer than usual. Jungkook’s eyelids were getting heavy too, but he let the movie play out, also letting Taehyung fall asleep for a few minutes.
When the movie ended, Jungkook called Taehyung’s name softly with no answer, realizing his steady and quiet breathing.
Jungkook shook Taehyung slightly, just barely enough to wake him up, “Let’s get you in bed, Tae.” Jungkook mumbled, moving Taehyung out of his lap to stretch and hold his arms out to Taehyung so he could carry him.
This was normal between them, but Tae still got butterflies even if he was about to pass out. He lazily stood up and wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s neck, thanking every possible God that the room was dark because otherwise, Jungkook would most definitely notice the rosy tint all over Taehyung’s face.
“Okay, jump.” Jungkook said, Taehyung did as he was told and shifted on instinct when Jungkook’s hands brushed over his ass, eventually landing on his thighs.
They started walking to Jungkook’s room down the hall and Taehyung had his face nuzzled in Jungkook’s neck, having one of his strongest urges to just place a kiss on his gorgeous neck. Looking for any way possible to sate his need to do so, he simply started a minor conversation so his lips could brush over his skin. “Thank you, Kookie.”
“For what?” Taehyung knew they were about to head into Jungkook’s room, meaning that soon, Taehyung would be let go of and be left mentally empty-handed.
“Carrying me, I guess.” Taehyung heard the door softly close and Taehyung was already frowning.
“That’s a little silly, but okay.” Jungkook laughed quietly as he carefully sat down on his bed, moving his hands to his friend’s back since Taehyung was still clinging to him. Jungkook began running his fingers through Taehyung’s soft hair, knowing it would bring him closer to a deep sleep.
“I dunno… You didn’t have to, ‘s all. I’m thankful.” Taehyung brought his head up to look at Jungkook, they were both so tired yet so, so awake.
They sat in silence, staring at each other’s features for a few seconds before Jungkook sighed with an apparent frown, “I’m gonna miss you, Tae.”
Taehyung shushed him, “Don’t wanna be sad before I sleep,” Taehyung pouted and blinked, leaving his eyes closed for a little longer, “But I’ll miss you too, Kookie.”
When Taehyung opened his eyes again, it seemed like Jungkook was battling something out in his head, a major debate going on behind his sleepily glazed-over brown orbs.
Jungkook didn’t end up saying anything, and instead let Taehyung move out of his arms onto the cold bed, quickly wrapping himself up in a blanket. Jungkook used the bathroom and came back to see Taehyung’s arms out of the blanket and in front of him, waiting to wrap around Jungkook’s person when he got back.
The weight shifted on the bed as Jungkook sat down and Taehyung began grabbing at his shirt, his shorts, anything he could get his hands on because he just wanted to sleep. When Taehyung accidentally reached a little too close for comfort to Jungkook’s nether regions, Jungkook moved enough that he got Taehyung’s hands off him for a moment. Jungkook felt the blood spread throughout his whole body, and knew it would be annoying while he tried to sleep.
Jungkook quickly put his phone to charge and laid down, his back to Taehyung so he could grab onto him comfortably. “Good night, TaeTae.”
“Night, Koo..” His words fell sleepily off his tongue, not even able to finish the nickname.
It was only about 15 minutes later, as Jungkook struggled to fall asleep. He was just about to, he was half in half out, but Taehyung started whispering his name, the words and breaths right over his ear. “Jungkookie…”
Since Jungkook was half asleep, he brushed off his name being called as something in his forming dream. Jungkook didn’t know how to explain it. He was dreaming, awake, but he couldn’t move unless he woke up. The best way Jungkook could describe it was that he knew he was dreaming but… He could still hear and feel what was around him in the real world.
“Are you asleep yet?” Taehyung whispered again, and Jungkook was practically paralyzed, only able to see his dream world. Jungkook was unable to answer a simple “yes” and stayed quiet against his will.
“Good.” Taehyung whispered, “‘Cos if you were awake, God, I wouldn’t be saying shit right now.” He laughed quietly, Jungkook still able to hear him but unable to do anything.
“I’m really gonna miss you when you go away, Kookie. I really don’t want you to, but I need you happy. If you’re happy, I’m happy.” Taehyung whispered, his deep voice affecting Jungkook’s heartbeat.
“I’m pretty sure I love you, Jungkook. And not like how we’ll say ‘I love you’ in spur of the moment, I really- I think-” Taehyung sighed, and Jungkook couldn’t even change his expression to how surprised he actually felt. “I’m in love with you, Jungkookie, and I’m going to miss you like a clingy boyfriend every fucking day for four years.” Jungkook’s temporary dream-turned-nightmare in his head (which he was ignoring almost fully to focus on Taehyung’s blind confession) seemed to be coming to an end soon. And Jungkook was internally freaking out. He’s about to scare the shit out of Taehyung by waking up from a nightmare, oh God.
When Jungkook’s breaths became harsh because of his mind’s activities against his will, Taehyung whispered again, “Are you okay? Are you having a nightmare or something?”
YES! Well- No, but yes!!!
Jungkook couldn’t scream it out loud, no matter how loud he was in his mind.
When Jungkook’s nightmare had just ended with him getting beaten up and unable to do anything even in his dream, he sprung up in bed, breathing heavily with wide eyes. Taehyung was expectedly up right next to him as fast as he was. “Jungkook-ah, are you alright?”
The room was barely lit, only the light from the hallway peeking in from under Jungkook’s door was apparent. Jungkook stared at it to keep him grounded and calm himself down.
“Jungkook, are you okay??” The worry in Taehyung’s voice was more apparent now, much more visible.
Jungkook nodded and coughed a little, regaining his breath slowly but surely. “Yes, yes, Tae, I’m- I’m fine. I’m okay, Taehyung, I’m sorry for scaring you, I had a nightmare kind of, I’m sorry.” Jungkook babbled.
Taehyung hugged Jungkook tightly, to the point where he couldn’t breathe for a good few seconds. Soon, he let go and just let his hand slide down to Jungkook’s, taking it and showing it to Jungkook he assumed, since he couldn’t really see.
“I would say don’t ever do that again, but you don’t have control over it so,” Taehyung sighs, “I dunno. You just scared me, but I’m fine.” He laughs breathily.
“I know, Tae, I’m sorry.” Jungkook hugged Taehyung, slightly holding on for dear life when he remembered Taehyung’s quiet confession from earlier, which had been previously pushed to a second priority status. Jungkook squeezed him a little tighter before finally letting go, searching the dark for any sign of his eyes. He didn’t find one and gave up.
“Let’s sleep, Kook.” Taehyung mumbled, laying back down. Jungkook did the same, only this time he faced Taehyung.
“I’m really sorry, Taehyung.” Jungkook said as he got comfortable. Taehyung’s arms wrapped around him again as he put his head on Jungkook’s chest. Jungkook felt different about it this time. Jungkook moved his arms to envelope Taehyung as well, pulling him a little closer. This time it was different. Taehyung loves Jungkook, and Jungkook knew about it. Taehyung cuddling up to him felt different . He couldn’t explain how, but… He guesses it’s a good different. Butterflies in your stomach and a heated face was good, right?
-
The next day, Taehyung finished packing with Jungkook and came across the small box again. Taehyung was fucking curious, simple as that. So, he slipped the box into his backpack that he had luckily brought over this time, and decided that if Jungkook came looking, it would be after he left. Then, Taehyung’s excuse was he found it after Jungkook left and just had it for safekeeping. Safekeeping, yeah.
Taehyung and Jungkook said their “see you later”s when Taehyung left, instead of goodbye. While they both teared up, neither of them let a tear escape. They would see each other again.
When Taehyung got home, he took out the box and immediately realized he had forgotten something. They fucking key. The way Taehyung’s face fell so quickly made him almost lose hope on finding out what could be in the box. But luckily for him, he came up with another almost impossible idea. Lock picking.
Taehyung grabbed a bobby pin from his mom’s bathroom and got to work. Maybe a minute into his thieving stunt, he hadn’t unlocked it but he could press on the lock.
“Are you fucking kidding m-”
Click!
“The lock was fake oh my GOD!” Taehyung yelled out in frustration, glad his mom was at work.
He carefully opened the box, seeing a lot inside already. There was a small notebook that was a bit trashed and old looking (Taehyung swears he’s seen it before, but he can’t place his finger on it), a few photos that looked to be of Jungkook and him, and at the bottom Taehyung found a few “blank” CDs, they probably had something on them though. Looking closer, Taehyung noticed the writing on the CDs through the cases they were in, all saying ‘ Taehyung ’.
Taehyung’s heart rate picked up slightly, was this Jungkook’s secret hatred for Taehyung? God, Taehyung couldn’t help but feel a little bit deflated, but then, why the pictures? You wouldn’t keep pictures of your enemy, would you? Of course not, Taehyung thought.
Sifting through the pictures of him and Jungkook, he looked at the labels on all of them. Some recent, others very old.
Taehyungie’s birthday!! Happy 18th! 161230
Our forever swingset! 110519
Soulmates 170226
My bitch!! 180901
The nostalgia flowed throughout Taehyung as he looked back on every one of these moments, feeling something well up inside him, not exactly sadness, but kind of sadness? Taehyung couldn’t explain it.
My first picture with my first best friend! 100904
Such a cutie 151123
I love you 190801
Taehyung had to look over the last photo again. It’d been awhile since Jungkook had said he loves him. When they were younger, they were told not to, since it would insinuate that they were in a relationship. Both boys stopped saying they loved each other after that. And this photo was recent. Only a few weeks ago. They had gone to a party and gotten absolutely shitfaced, but somehow Jungkook’s camera survived to take a blurry-ass picture of Taehyung’s face absolutely lit up on Jungkook’s shoulder with one of the brightest, drunkest smiles he’s ever worn. Jungkook on the other hand, just looks like his normal, cool yet nerdy self, only ten times enhanced because of the alcohol.
This doesn’t mean anything, Taehyung told himself. He put the photos down on his coffee table next to the box and picked up the notebook, reading Jungkook’s probably 15 year old handwriting on the cover that said ‘Jungkook’s Eyes Only’. Taehyung shrugged, oh well. He opened the cover, already seeing it looking like a diary of some sort.
‘ 141011
Hello. This is weird, writing I mean. Feels like an essay, I don’t like it. My mom told me to since I told her I’d been feeling down lately. I don’t even know why. If I don’t know, she doesn’t know either, right? In case I die in some brutal murder and someone’s going through my things and has to read this to find my enemies, hi! I’m Jeon Jungkook!!! I hate Oh Yeongheon!!!!! It was probably him, honestly. But maybe he’s gone already because my best friend, Taehyung, would probably have killed him for killing me. Taehyung’s really nice and cool and I’m honestly a little scared of him, losing him as friend, you know? This is already really long so I’ll stop here. Writing still sucks though.’
Taehyung laughed at Yeongheon, as he remembered Jungkook’s deep-seated hate for that boy. After reading the first entry, Taehyung skimmed his entries after that, picking up on how he was increasingly mentioned. A few minutes later, he found a very interesting entry from him.
‘170109
You know what’s weird? People, human beings. You know what specific being is extra weird? Me. I’ve been feeling weird and I don’t think I like it? I think I know what it is and all that but it doesn’t fall under categories, I think. Maybe it does. I do and don’t think I’m gay. Or bisexual, I don’t know.
Either way, I’ve just suddenly started seeing different people in different ways.
A.K.A. I had a wet dream involving Taehyung about a week ago and for the fucking life of me I don’t know why.
It was of us at his birthday a few days prior, but… it was kinda weird and? Different? I forgot what happened from point A to point B (other than we drank a shit ton), but the next thing I knew (remembered) was Taehyung dragging me into his room and we… yeah. But I’m straight, I think? I mean, I haven’t had a real crush in god knows how long, but Taehyung’s just always been special. Not a bad special, no, never, there’s nothing bad about him, it’s impossible - he’s quite literally the epitome of perfection. We’ve just always been closer than I ever imagined I could be with someone. We have a special connection that I’m honestly scared of, I think I’m secretly scared of losing him because he’s just like my literal other half, you know?
...Anyway, it’s just been weird lately, I think I’m avoiding Taehyung? Just a little. Being late to reply to his texts, being hesitant when he asks to hang out, and I didn’t really notice until he called me out on it, asking what might be wrong. I didn’t tell him of course, just said I’ve been feeling weird lately, which isn’t a lie.
Fuck it, I’ll figure it out eventually.’
Taehyung just sat there for a bit, rereading every word on that page. The very faint memories of that period flushed back to his mind, he was reminded of how he really thought that Jungkook found out some nonexistent secret of his and hated him for it. Taehyung knew there wasn’t anything Jungkook didn’t know at the time. Well, almost anything. Maybe that’s why Taehyung was so scared then. Taehyung was probably scared that Jungkook had found out about his crush on him. That still scared him, maybe even more so.
But… Also maybe not as much? Taehyung couldn’t even process the thought that Jungkook had a fucking wet dream about him, definitely not the fact that he was his very secret gay awakening. Was he happy about it? Oh, abso-fucking-lutely, that’s a MAJOR confidence boost. But he was also just… Confused, maybe?
Taehyung kept reading the entries after that, having it hit him that it’s a major invasion of privacy, even for best friends. But fuck it, Jungkook’s going to be on a one-way flight to Seoul tonight, and Taehyung was already slowly but surely unraveling.
Taehyung was a little overwhelmed at the entries. He was mentioned and praised by Jungkook in almost every single one. Call Taehyung crazy, but he chose to believe it was Jungkook slowly falling in love with him. He wanted that fantasy - so, so badly.
And he did, slowly but surely. Jungkook has apparently been writing in this book for years, almost consistently. There was a very large gap between some of his writing in 2014 and in 2016, he said he kept forgetting the book existed. They’re increasing though, the frequency. So much so, that Jungkook’s last entry was merely a few days ago. Taehyung noticed the total jump in handwriting, referring back to when Jungkook had ranted about his Korean teacher taking points off for messy handwriting, resulting in him having to neaten his handwriting. Taehyung took a deep breath as he delved into the words, having spotted his name so many times already.
‘190907
I’m leaving for college in a few days, and I’m just going to be blunt - I’m scared fucking shitless. For so many reasons.
Number One: I have basically my entire life rooted here, I’ve only ever been to Seoul a few times for birthdays or my Dad’s business meetings when I was younger, so I don’t know much about it. I’ll learn though, I guess.
Number Two: I’m going to be completely alone there. I won’t know anyone and won’t have my parents to help me out. I’m going to look like a fucking foolish tourist, I just know it.
Number Three: This is the main reason that I can’t even really imagine yet. I don’t want to. Taehyung. I’m leaving him here, while I go fuck off to Seoul? I almost can’t believe I’m ready to say “fuck college and the rest of my life!” for him, but damn, I’m more than willing. He’s just so special, and… god, so many things. I’m not going to write about how much I love him, not yet at least, but yeah, I’m just…”
Taehyung had to stop for a moment, his breath hitching in his throat. “‘I’m not going to write…’” Taehyung took a breath, “‘About how much… I love him’.” Taehyung repeated the words to himself as he reread them, making sure he wasn’t seeing them incorrectly. He bundled up whatever courage he had left to keep reading, he was scared to read on, for some reason.
‘... thinking about how I’m going to be without him for years. God, I’m going to cry writing this, years ? Seriously? Years without Taehyung, my best friend, my grounding, my partner in crime, and dare I say - the love of my life . Emphasis on the life part, because I swear I’ve been infatuated with him since I met him and just didn’t know it. Or maybe it was a friendship at first and then as I grew older, I developed feelings for him. Truthfully, I have no idea.
But it’s been about 9 years since I’ve met Kim Taehyung, and he, is an angel . I feel like nothing without him, even if it’s just for a day or so, I want him by my side all the time. I’m never telling him that though, no matter how much I want to - especially now. But that’s the thing: he doesn’t feel the same. So I don’t plan on ruining our (platonic) relationship right before I leave for years. I don’t know what I’d do if that happened, honestly, I’d probably consider death for a while, but I’d get over it, I think.’
Taehyung stopped reading again, definitely not feeling ready for what the last few paragraphs held for him. He teared up as he read, smiling at the praise and gasping at the parts that are so, so wrong. A rush of emotions so sudden were flying at him, hitting his body even if their aim was bad.
‘Yeah, I’d get over it, I’d have to. For… well, then, it wouldn’t be for us, or Taehyung at all, I guess.
You know what? NO. I’m not going into sad boy hours right now, fuck that, fuck all that shit.
I’m just going to say that I wish I could tell Taehyung how much he means to me, like truly. We have conversations where we get deep and in our feels and say “I really appreciate you” and shit like that but I don’t want that, I want to tell him how deeply in love with him I am, tell him how every aspect of him is goddamn magical, tell him how I feel like I’m living in a fever dream because how does someone as nice, caring, hot yet cute, interesting, angelic, perfect like him even exist? Tell him how fucking happy I am to be his best friend - his go-to person. Tell him how lucky I feel to have him in my life. Tell him I love him so fucking much it’s hard to explain.
I hate this. Being in love. Specifically a one-sided love. To make it worse, I live in a fucking homophonic country where I couldn’t even rant about this shit online because I’d get shit for it. This stupid little book is my only outlet and I want to rip it up. I want to burn it and all the fucking memories it holds.
I’m leaving for college in a few days and I’m going to be blunt - I’m scared shitless. Why? Because Taehyung won’t be there. Because I may never come back. I may never see him again. But that might just be reality’s plan for me, so fuck it, let me just say my fantasy world out loud, let me tell you how I wish my life could be one day.
I hope Kim Taehyung is reading this mess of a book. I hope he knows how much I love him and I hope I’m not there for the backlash. If there is none, then I still don’t want to be there. If you love me back in any way… then yeah, maybe I want to be there. Maybe.’
Taehyung stared at the last word on the page. Maybe. He flipped through the few remaining pages of the notebook, finding no more entries from Jungkook. He slowly closed the book and set it down on the table, looking to the objects next to it.
The untouched CDs were still staring back at his teary eyes, screaming to be watched, and before Taehyung could deny, he gave in.
He definitely let tears slip while watching the small snippets of Jungkook’s life on his laptop screen, seeing him grow from the little 11 year old he was into the 20 year old he is now. But the underlying theme still remained - Taehyung.
Every clip mentioned Taehyung. Whether it be how cool he was, how good he looked, or even how much Jungkook loved him, they all showed Jungkook’s obvious appreciation for Taehyung since the beginning.
The last clip was again recent, Taehyung guessed maybe the week before Jungkook’s birthday, since he had mentioned it was coming up. Taehyung was fine (as fine as he could be, at least) until the very end, where Jungkook confessed again, only this time, Taehyung saw his face and heard his voice, instead of read his words.
“Taehyungie, I hope you know that I love you, so, so much. Truly, I do. Not a best friend love, either. I love you like… A boyfriend, I suppose. I definitely wouldn’t mind that.” Jungkook laughed and looked at the camera with his bright smile. “But, life sucks sometimes, so you’ll probably never know unless some fairytale romance movie shit happens, so it really is just me and my love for Kim Taehyung in my room right now, huh? That’s sad, but whatever.”
Jungkook looked up to his doorway, another voice coming onto the audio. It sounded like his mother and Jungkook stuffed the camera away, distorting their words being exchanged.
Soon, Jungkook picked up the camera again, “I’ve gotta go, and this is probably my last little message on here since I won’t have time to make more on another CD before I go, I think. So, I guess this is goodbye to my little outlet, A.K.A., me talking to myself in my room and probably sounding insane to anyone who just happens to walk by. Anyway, see you later, and maybe I’ll see you on the other side.” Jungkook smiled.
The video ended and Taehyung was sniffling and groaning. “Stop fucking crying, Tae, please.” He told himself. “It’s a good thing, dumbass.”
His conscience agreed, the only difference is that his conscience reminded him that Jungkook was leaving tonight, and it was already 6:30. Jungkook was already on his way the Daegu airport already. Fuck . Taehyung started flipping his shit - Jungkook was not leaving until Taehyung told him - in person. Taehyung wasn’t about to do this shit over a dumb text message, not happening.
Taehyung grabbed his keys, phone, and wallet and was on the road within a few minutes on his newfound journey of about 45 minutes to tell Jungkook everything.
-
Taehyung’s trip felt as long as 8 hours, though it might’ve been a half hour since he was speeding every chance he got, and somehow wasn’t pulled over. He’d made it to the parking garage of the airport, at Jungkook’s terminal (Taehyung had texted Jungkook’s mom frantically, asking her for all info on his flight and got it easily). What surprised him, though, is the fact that it’s 7 PM, and Jungkook should’ve been in the airport. Instead, though, he saw Jungkook strolling through the parking garage heading towards the doors now.
Taehyung parked as quickly and safely as he could and sprinted to where he’d seen Jungkook and his suitcase covered in stickers. He got to the spot, seeing Jungkook only a small bit ahead of him, still pretty far from the doors. So he ran to him, slowing down to a speed walk when he got closer, calling his name only once to grab his attention.
Jungkook stopped and turned to look at his approaching figure, surprise evident on his face.“Taehyung, what are you doing here?”
Taehyung was ready to risk it all, he knew Jungkook loved him just as much as he loved Jungkook.
It was only a few seconds after Jungkook spoke that Taehyung finally reached Jungkook, wasting no time before smashing their lips together in a bruising first kiss. Jungkook, though surprised, didn’t pull away at all. Instead, he quickly began kissing back with just as much fervor, wrapping his arms around Taehyung and pulling him closer as he tilted his head for better access.
God, he was a good kisser, Jungkook thought as he truly lost himself in Taehyung. Jungkook didn’t even care what might’ve prompted Taehyung to do this, he just let himself enjoy that it was happening.
They broke apart hesitantly, Jungkook chasing Taehyung’s lips as they both gasped for air.
Jungkook breathily began spoke his mind, “Why… Why did you-”
“Jeon Jungkook, I love you, so, so much, okay? I’ve loved you for so long, longer than I could even remember but just know that even though you’re leaving today I will not stop loving you - not now, not ever. You’re mine, and that’s that. Forever. My soulmate.” Taehyung was quick to cut him off with his confession, making Jungkook grow red as one of his biggest smiles appeared on his face. Taehyung smiled a little at Jungkook’s happy face.
“I know, Tae, I know.” Jungkook kissed him again, much more sweetly than the last, also much quicker. “I was awake, last night, when you told me. I was having a nightmare at the same time though, so I couldn’t move, or speak- or tell you anything in response. But I know, Tae. I love you too, so fucking much, you wouldn’t even believe it.”
Taehyung giggled, “I know too, Kookie. I found that little box in your dresser,” Taehyung paused seeing the surprise on his face and laughed a little, “And I took it this morning and went through it. The pictures, the notebook, and the little videos. All of it. God, it was a rollercoaster, but…” Taehyung looked down, “I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe I almost let you go without you knowing that, yeah, I love you too. And it sounds weird to actually tell you that but, I do. I love you, Jungkook.”
Jungkook’s eyes were obviously watering, and Taehyung couldn’t help but kiss him again, Jungkook responding by smiling into the kiss.
Jungkook unlocked their lips, beginning to speak against Taehyung’s, “Tae, I really hope you know how bad I’m willing to risk my life for you by not going to Seoul right now.” He giggled, and Taehyung’s heart soared at that mixed with the words.
“No, Kookie, I do. I read that part in your notebook.” They both laughed, leaning close enough for their foreheads to be touching, “But you need to go. I’m not taking that away from you. I’ll visit when I can, I promise, and maybe we could still work things out relationship wise.” He shrugged.
“What, like a long-distance relationship?”
“Yeah..” Taehyung mumbled, feeling a little embarrassed.
Jungkook was silent for a moment, leaning away from Taehyung. “If you’re up for it, then so am I.” He beamed.
Taehyung smiled and hugged Jungkook, “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Their hug was long, and sometimes they couldn’t even breathe, but that was a secondary thought of theirs at the moment. They eventually broke and came to terms with the thought that this would be the last they’d see of each other for a bit.
“I’ll talk to you soon, Taehyungie.” Jungkook smiled sadly.
“Text me before you get on the plane and when you’ve landed safely, got it?” Taehyung crossed his arms. Jungkook groaned but agreed.
Just an hour and a half later, Jungkook was on his way to Seoul and Taehyung realized that it was for the best. Jungkook could live his normal life and still have Taehyung in it as he’d wanted: his boyfriend. Taehyung was honored to wield the title of ‘Jeon Jungkook’s Boyfriend’ and it was his most prideful aspect.
They only told very close friends about them, but as the years went on, they slowly came out as gay and as a couple to their families, too. Most were okay with it, nobody really praised them too much, and some were just plain uncomfortable when they were told.
Nonetheless, they didn’t really care if they were ‘accepted’ or not. Because if their own family didn’t like them for who they are, they still had one person who always would.
Taehyung had Jungkook, and Jungkook had Taehyung, and that’s all they needed.