Chapter Text
The sound of coughing and videogames fills the bedroom. Lying in bed is Kouta, pale and clearly sick. He’s trying to play a game on his handheld but has to pause while he waits out his burst of coughing.
While he’s coughing, the door to his room opens and Mandalay enters. She bustles around him, fluffing his pillows and cleaning up his empty soup bowl, trying to hide her worry at her nephew’s illness.
“Hey Kouta,” Mandalay says gently.
“Hi aunt,” Kouta replies.
“Are you feeling any better?” she asks, feeling his forehead with her hand.
“A little,” Kouta grumbles, a bit unhappy to have his game interrupted any more.
“Guess what?” she says in the tone of voice reserved for delivering good news, “Gran Torino’s here to visit you.”
“Really?” Kouta groans in the tone of voice reserved for those who disagree with the goodness of the news delivered. “Tell him I’m sick, I can’t have visitors.”
“You are sick, that’s why he’s here.”
“He’ll pinch my cheek,” Kouta whines, trying to pull himself deeper under his blankets, “I hate that.”
“Maybe he won’t.” she replies.
The door swings open again and Gran Torino wanders into the room with a vacant expression, cane in hand.
“What? Who’s this?” he squawks, holding out his free hand while he walks as if he has no idea what’s going on. Gran Torino gets to Kouta’s bed and pats the sheets in confusion before pinching his cheek.
Kouta shoots Mandalay an ‘I told you so’ look, to which she has the audacity to grin. “I’ll leave you two pals alone for a bit,” she says with a smile as she leaves.
In the silence that follows her departure, Gran Torino hops up on a chair by the bedside and tosses a wrapped package onto Kouta’s lap. “I brought you a present,” he says with a grin, dropping the senile act.
Kouta looks at it skeptically. “What is it?”
“It’s wrapped for a reason,” Gran Torino deadpans, “You have to open it.”
Kouta picks it up and tears into the wrapping to reveal an old but rather ordinary book. He turns to Gran Torino with an unimpressed look. “A book?”
“That’s right.” Gran Torino replies with a small smile, “Back before all your video games and your smartphones and your memes, we read books. And this is a special book. It’s the book my dad read to me when I was sick, and the one I read to the sick Problem Children that Eraserhead shafted off onto me. And now, I’m gonna read it to you.”
“Does it have anything exciting in it?” Kouta asks.
“Are you kidding?” Gran Torino laughs, “Swordplay, fighting, torture, revenge, villains, monsters, chases, escapes, miracles, true love, blockheads getting kicked around!”
“That doesn’t sound too bad,” Kouta says with a shrug, reluctantly interested. “I’ll try to stay awake.”
“Thank you so much,” Gran Torino replies dryly, “Your vote of confidence is overwhelming. Now then.”
He clears his throat and settles into the chair. “The Hero Princess bride, chapter one…”
Ochaco Uraraka was raised on a small farm without much money in the land of the League of Villains. Her favorite pastimes were riding the family horse and tormenting the Quirkless farmboy that worked there. His name was Izuku Midoriya, but she never called him that. Isn’t this a wonderful beginning to a story?
Nothing gave Uraraka quite as much pleasure as ordering Midoriya around. She had short brown hair that she hated styling, pink pads on her fingertips from her Quirk, and wore the cheapest and most practical clothes she could find, but she was still beautiful.
“Deku,” she would say, “Polish my horse’s saddle. I want to be able to see my face in it by morning.”
And he would reply, “As you wish.”
Midoriya was rather short, with a smattering of freckles, shining green eyes, and a tangle of green hair, and he was as handsome as she was beautiful. And ‘as you wish’ was all he ever said to Uraraka.
It was years after they had first met, when Midoriya was chopping wood, that she brought him two empty buckets.
“Deku, fill these up with water.” She said. “…Please.”
“As you wish.” He replied, as he always did.
But this time was different, because it was that day that Uraraka was amazed to discover that when he said ‘as you wish,’ what he meant was ‘I love you.’ And what was more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.
She was in the kitchen as he brought her the buckets of water she’d requested. “Deku,” she said before he could leave, “Hand me that kettle.”
Midoriya looked at the kettle on the shelf, one she could easily reach herself. He walked over to grab it and hand it to her, standing very close to her. They looked into each other’s eyes as a small nervous smile split his face. “As you wish.”
It was that night at sunset that they shared their first kiss, passionately-
“Hold it!” Kouta cries indignantly. “What is this? Where’s the fighting, the monsters? Is this just a kissing book?”
“Calm down, kid.” Gran Torino says with a placating wave of his hand. “Just wait.”
“Well when’s it get good?” Kouta asks, crossing his arms as he settles back into bed.
“Keep your pointy hat on and let me read.” Gran Torino grumbles as he looks back to the book. “Midoriya had no money for marriage-”
Nor did Uraraka, so he packed his few belongings, most of which was journals and hero merchandise, and left the farm to seek his fortune across the sea.
On his final day at the farm, the two stood locked in an embrace by the gate to the fields. It was a very emotional time for Uraraka… Hey, if you want to read this book you can do it yourself, knock off the groaning.
“I’m afraid I’ll never see you again.” Uraraka said tearfully into his shoulder.
“Of course you will,” Midoriya told her, though he was crying far more.
“But what if something happens to you?” she asked, squeezing him a little tighter.
“Don’t worry,” Midoriya said, putting on a wide grin despite the tears still flowing down his face and by now soaking their shoes, “I’ll always come for you.”
“But how can you be sure?” Uraraka said, pulling back so she could look him in the eyes.
“This is true love,” he said, managing an even bigger smile as his eyes gleamed with happiness, “You think this happens every day?’”
They smiled at each other and shared one last long kiss before he left. But there was not to be another, because Midoriya didn’t reach his destination. His ship was attacked by the Dread Hero All Might, who never left captives alive. When news got back to Uraraka that Midoriya was murdered-
“Murdered by heroes is good.” Kouta says, perking up a bit.
Gran Tornio shoots him a look. “You’re a bloodthirsty kid, you know that?”
When news got back to Uraraka that Midoriya was murdered, she went into her room and shut the door. For days she neither slept nor ate, utterly brokenhearted. “I will never love again,” she declared on the day she finally ran out of tears to cry.
Five years later, the main square of the League of Villains was packed with more people than ever before, all here to hear the announcement of Prince Shigaraki’s bride-to-be. Prince Shigaraki was a thin, pale man with many hands grasping his body, including one over his face. He stood on a castle balcony overlooking the square as he prepared his announcement.
Behind him stood All for One, who wore a suit and a metal helmet to hide his scarred face, as well as Kurogiri, a man made of dark mist. Beside him stood his right hand man, Stain, whose outfit was so elaborate and covered in knives it’s a wonder the manga artist could ever draw it consistently.
Stepping forward to the balcony, Shigaraki prepared to speak. Below him the crowd leaned forward, eager to hear his rousing news.
“Listen up you NPCs,” he shouted raspily, one hand scratching at his neck. “One month from now is All for One’s something-hundredth birthday, and at sundown I’ll be getting married. She was a useless xp bundle like you all, but now she’s an actual supporting character. Wanna meet her?”
He pointedly put his hand down on the railing in front of him with all five fingers, turning it into dust. The sporadic cheering suddenly became deafening.
“Yeah, well, there she is.” He waved his hand and a fanfare began, announcing Uraraka’s appearance. She was beautiful, with her hair done up and dressed in fine clothing, a style not at all how she usually dressed.
“There you go, your princess…” Shigaraki trailed off, then leaned back. “What’s her name?” he whispered.
“Uraraka.” Kurogiri supplied with a long-suffering sigh.
“Princess Uraraka!” Shigaraki shouted as if nothing had happened.
Uraraka walked into the crowd and the citizens go to their knees around her without so such as an order. She blinked back tears, moved by their respect and admiration for her when they didn’t even know her. Though dressed beautifully and respected by everyone around her, she felt more uneasy then when she’d been wearing old work clothes at the farm in the countryside.
Uraraka’s emptiness consumed her. Although the law gave Shigaraki the right to choose his bride, she did not love him. Despite his reassurance that she someday would, the only joy she found was in her daily ride.
Now with her pick of the royal stables, she could choose from the best horses of the finest breeding, and so it was that she found herself riding far out in the countryside. Lonely, quiet, and deserted, so far from that man who was to be her husband.
“Excuse me!” called a voice, interrupting her thoughts.
Uraraka reigned in her horse and looked to the source. There were three men standing beside the path. One wore crisp, clean clothes and a pair of spotless glasses, standing so stiffly she may have mistaken him for a statue. One wore his chest uncovered to show off his muscular physique, with spiky red hair and a wide friendly smile filled with pointy teeth. The last was a blond wearing fancy clothes and with several pocket watches, a smarmy smirk on his face.
“We’re circus performers,” said the blonde, whose name was Neito Monoma. “But we’ve become rather lost. Would you happen to know of a nearby town?”
Uraraka raised an eyebrow. “Circus performers? I should have guessed from your clothes. But no, there’s no towns around for miles.”
Monoma’s grin grew wider. “How weird!” he said gleefully, “Then there won’t be anyone to hear your screams!”
The one with pointy hair, whose name was Eijiro Kirishima, lunged for her. He grabbed her by the neck with a regretful wince as his arm hardened up. She barely got out the start of a scream before the grasp of his hardened fingers on her nerves rendered her unconscious.
As Kirishima pulled her off the horse, Monoma began pulling some fabric out and sticking it on the horse’s saddle. The man with glasses, whose name was Tenya Iida, stopped scolding Kirishima for his potentially harmful maneuver and turned towards Monoma. “What is that?”
“Fabric from the uniforms of the Shie Hassaikai,” Monoma replied without looking up as he scattered things on the ground, “As well as some expended Quirk-neutralizing bullets.”
“Who’s that?” Kirshima asked.
Monoma pointed over his shoulder at the ocean past the beach where their boat was moored. “The rivals of the League of Villains,” he said as he smacked the horse to send it running, “Once it gets back to the castle, Shigaraki will blame them for her abduction. And when he finds her body on their border his suspicions will be confirmed! A brilliant plan, as to be expected from me!”
Kirishima’s previously unflappable smile faltered. “Her body?”
Monoma hopped into the boat, gesturing for the other two to get in. “Of course! I hired you to start a war, which is a prestigious line of work with a lot of tradition behind it. It’ll look great on your résumé as vigilantes.”
“I dunno,” Kirishima said, his smile entirely gone now, “I don’t think it’s very manly to just kill someone while they’re defenseless, much less an innocent girl.”
Monoma whirled on him with an incredulous look. “That’s strange, I thought I just heard you say the word think! But I must be mistaken, since I hired you for your brutish strength, not your two and a half brain cells!”
“I agree with Kirishima!” Iida proclaimed, his hand rapidly chopping the air as he spoke. “This course of action seems dishonorable and uncouth, more suited to back alley ruffians or brutish thugs than men like ourselves.”
Monoma’s grin grew wider, almost to the point of hysterics. “So, you have opinions as well as legs! What happens to her isn’t your concern, I’ll borrow her Quirk and throw her into orbit myself. But remember, never forget…”
He pointed at Iida with a frenzy usually only seen in rabid dogs, though Iida managed to maintain a steady appearance of calm. “When I found you, you were drinking yourself into a stupor trying to dull the pain of the nerve damage you brought on yourself with you half-baked plans of revenge!”
His finger snapped to the side to aim at Kirishima, who looked afraid now. “And you were just pathetic! A whiny coward who didn’t dare step in when he felt afraid, the farthest thing from a man you can imagine! Not to mention your hair!”
Monoma glared at the two for a moment before turning back to the front of the boat, his grin dying back down to the normal smirk. Behind him Iida leaned closer to Kirishima, who was self-consciously reaching up to touch his hair.
“Don’t worry, Monoma just likes to fuss.” Iida said softly.
“Fuss, fuss.” Kirishima muttered. “I think he likes to scream at us.”
“He probably means no harm.” Iida replied.
“He’s really very short on charm,” Kirishima said, starting to pick up a rhythm.
“Oh,” Iida said proudly, “You have a great gift for rhyme!”
“Only some of the time,” Kirishima said, his smile starting to return.
Monoma spun around to look back at them. “Enough of that!”
The boat was quiet for a minute. And then…
“Kirishima, are those rocks ahead?” Iida asked.
“If there are,” Kirishima replied gleefully, “We’ll all be dead!”
“No more rhymes!” Monoma yelled, “I mean it!”
Kirishima held out a bag of trail mix that he pulled from seemingly nowhere. “Anybody want a peanut?” he asked, grin back in full force, unbothered by Monoma’s scream of rage that came in reply.
They sailed for hours until the sun set below the horizon. The waves grew higher in the dark, with only the occasional flash of moonlight between the clouds. In the bottom of the boat Uraraka stirred, gradually returning to consciousness. In the infrequent light, Monoma looked over a map.
“We’ll reach the cliffs by dawn.” he said to Iida.
Iida nodded silently in response, not taking his eyes off the darkness behind them.
“What are you doing?” Monoma asked.
“I simply wish to be sure that no one is following us.” Iida replied.
Monoma waved a dismissive hand. “That would be inconceivable.”
“Think that if you want, but you will be caught.” Uraraka spat, “And when you are, Shigaraki will use your dust to fertilize his garden. Well, assuming he has a garden. Let’s be honest, if he does, it’s Kurogiri who takes care of it.”
“You should be more worried about your own fate, your highness,” Monoma said mockingly. He looked over at Iida, who still hadn’t turned around. “Stop doing that!”
“Are you sure we are not being followed?” Iida asked.
Monoma scoffed. “Like I said, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all ways inconceivable. No one in the Shie Hassaikai knows what we’ve done and the League of Villains can’t possibly have gotten here so fast.” He paused for a moment as if he was done speaking, then spoke up again with a bit less certainty. “Out of curiosity, why do you ask?”
“Because someone is following us.” Iida said bluntly.
“What?!” Monoma shrieked. He spun around to stare into the darkness behind them, as did Kirishima. The moon was behind clouds, and the air was filled with the sound of wind and waves. There was nothing they could see or hear that indicated a pursuer, and yet they held their breaths and watched.
Minutes stretched by as the three practically held their breath. Then the moon slipped through and there it was. A sailboat, with a dark green hull and green sails. It was far behind them, but by the swell of its sails they could tell it was gaining.
“It’s probably just some fisherman,” Momoma said, though he lacked the arrogant certainty he had before. “Just out on a pleasure cruise. At night. In waters infested with-”
A splash sounded beside the boat and all three turned towards the source. It was Uraraka, who had leapt overboard and was now swimming away.
“After her!” Monoma shrieked, grabbing Iida by the shoulder and shaking him, “Jump in, don’t let her get away!”
“No, thank you,” Iida replied politely as if the order hadn’t been screamed at him, “It’s bad for me to get water in my engines.”
Kirishima shrugged as Monoma turned towards him. “I can’t swim. I can sink like a rock though!” he said with a grin, hardening his arms for emphasis.
Monoma groaned and rushed to the rudder. “Fine! Veer left!”
In the water, Uraraka swam as fast as she could. As she did, the wind died down. In the silence a new sound could be heard, a deep mechanical tone reverberating through the water.
“Do you know what that is, Highness?” Monoma called after her, “That’s a zero pointer! If you doubt me, just wait. They always get louder when they’re about to crush someone.”
Uraraka continued to swim, but she changed to a quieter breast stroke. The sound grew louder and water surged up around the boat as something gigantic moved below the surface, eight glowing red eyes shining below the water.
“Come back and we won’t hurt you,” Monoma promised. “I doubt that thing will give you a deal like that.”
But Uraraka was more determined than she was afraid. The tone was louder now but she still pressed on. Off to the side, something metallic breached the surface before sinking back down, but still she swam on.
She was scared, sure, petrified even because who wouldn’t be, but she made no reply. But then those eyes under the water turned up and locked onto her. She was frozen, trying not to move and hoping to escape its attention. But it started rising up, those glowing eyes growing closer and closer. She knew that was it, there was nothing she could do, that it was all over.
And then the hand rose from the depths, massive metal fingers curling shut to crush her like a grape-
“She doesn’t get crushed.” Gran Torino says.
Kouta blinks in surprise. He’s sitting up more now than he was at the beginning of the story, his hands gripping the sheets tighter than he probably thinks they are. “What?”
“The zero pointer doesn’t get her, kid,” Gran Torino says patiently. “I’m explaining it to you since you looked nervous.”
“Well, I wasn’t nervous.” Kouta says indignantly.
Gran Torino says nothing, simply raising an eyebrow. “Well, maybe I was a little concerned,” Kouta admits, “But that’s not the same thing!”
“I can stop if you want.” Gran Torino says, hiding a grin.
“No.” Kouta says, a little too fast to seem nonchalant. “You can read a little bit more… if you want.”
Gran Torino smiles. “Okay then. Now where was I…”
“Do you know what that is, Highness?” Monoma called after her, “That’s a zero pointer!”
“We’re past that,” Kouta says. “You read it already.”
“Did I?” Gran Torino says, speaking in the voice he uses while playing senile. “My mind must be going again. Ah well, not like I’ll miss it.”
Kouta rolls his eyes. “The zero pointer was about to crush her.” he says, a bit of eagerness leaking into his voice.
“Ah, right!” Gran Torino says, “So then…”
And then the hand rose from the depths, massive metal fingers curling shut to crush her like a grape. But just before it could, Kirishima’s hardened fist lashed out into the water. His blow struck one of the eyes sitting just below the water and cracked the glass. Being a robot that had made the supremely poor decision to dwell in the water, this immediately destroyed it as water gushed in and short circuited the whole thing.
A moment later, he grabbed Uraraka by the neck of her dress and hauled her out of the water back into the boat.
“Put her down,” Monoma ordered, “And give me some rope!”
Iida’s attention remained on the ship behind them, which was now even closer. “I think they are getting closer.” he oh-so-helpfully declared.
Monoma ignored him as he tied Uraraka’s hands together and stuck gloves on her so she couldn’t use her Quirk. “I suppose you think you’re brave?” he said to her scornfully.
She met his gaze levelly, wishing she’d kept some seawater in her mouth to spit in his face. “Compared to you?” she retorted, “As a lion.”
As Monoma scoffed and moved away, Kirishima leaned closer. “I think it was pretty brave,” he whispered, “Real manly to pull a move like that.”
And on they sailed towards the Cliffs of Insanity.