Chapter Text
His head was pounding. It felt like that time after they beat Jasper, he and Amethyst didn’t leave the house for like a week because their headaches were so bad. Garnet had explained that sometimes fighting as a new fusion can be incredibly taxing.
He took in a sharp breath, and immediately felt that something was off. His lungs were empty. Completely empty, like, they didn’t feel like anything at all. He took another deep breath. It felt like air was just passing through him.
The act of breathing was comforting, but it didn’t serve any functional purpose.
Steven blinked. Where had that come from? Of course he needed to breathe. He took another few deep breaths just to be sure, and then something clicked in his mind.
This isn’t my bedroom.
He was lying in the middle of a gigantic pink bed, the sheets emblazoned with a pattern of pink diamonds. Above him hung an opulent pink bed canopy, curtains currently drawn shut.
It all felt like something a princess would have. It was all wrong, he had a single bed up in his loft bedroom in his beach house. Not… not all this. Though, he wouldn’t be opposed to having this. He could have the best sleepover party in the entire world with a bed this big.
No, he shook his head to try and clear his thoughts. I have to stay focussed here.
His eyes still groggy, he made his way off the bed, and tried to fight his way through the curtains until he noticed that there was a small button way back at the head of the bed that automatically withdrew the canopy.
And that was when he realised that something was definitely wrong.
This isn’t my room. That… that’s not my window. What is that?
Through the window, he could see a massive city sprawling below him, the architecture strangely familiar, yet also completely foreign. Most importantly, there were four monolithic pedestals in plain view. On the one closest to him stood a massive pink pair of legs, buttcheeks glinting in the light, causing Steven to blush.
Behind that was a massive white head and torso, almost seemingly looking down on him. It made him feel really small. Smaller than he already… was?
He felt taller, come to think of it. As tall as Garnet, maybe taller.
On the sides of the two limbs he had already looked at, were two ships that he never hoped to see again, and it only confirmed his fears. Blue Diamond’s arm ship, and Yellow Diamond’s arm ship.
“Homeworld.” Steven gasped, almost shouting in surprise when he realised how different his voice sounded. It wasn’t his own voice anymore. Or, it was, but it felt… lighter? Lighter, and deeper, and more… commanding. Feminine, almost.
Kind of like his mother’s voice, he realised, but he brushed that thought off. That was ridiculous.
There was a soft buzzing at his door. Steven gasped, and cursed inwardly. Of course, how could he have been so foolish? He had to… get ready?
What? Get ready for what? I still want to know how I got to Homeworld.
“My Diamond?” A soft, familiar voice asked, which turned his blood to ice.
He whirled around. Pearl was at the door. It was unmistakably Pearl. That long, slender form, that long pointy nose, that kind voice with just a hint of nagging.
But she isn’t Pearl. There were obvious differences, like the fact that she was soft pink instead of white, and her hair was styled into two swirly buns, nestled on the sides of her head, and that her gem was in her navel rather than on her head.
She held herself completely differently. This Pearl wasn’t confident and independent, she was demure and submissive. Her hands were clasped in front of her, always serene, eager to serve.
Until she shrieked.
“Oh, my Diamond, I’m so sorry! I-I thought- I heard footsteps and your voice, so I assumed you were ready!” The Pearl - Pink Pearl, turned away, blushing furiously. “I-I’m so sorry for the intrusion, it’s just that your rest period had ended and you have an urgent appointment with Blue Diamond that-”
Pink Pearl was cut off by the sound of a soft chiming noise that seemed to echo out of nowhere.
“That starts now!” She squeaked, trying to make herself as small as possible. “Ah! My Diamond, please, get dressed.”
Steven was left completely speechless. His mind hadn’t caught up with everything yet. “What… what did you just call me?”
“Pardon, my Diamond?” Pink Pearl asked, unsure if she’d heard him or not.
“Why are you calling me that?” He asked, his stomach twisting into a knot. He did not like where this was going.
“Because you are my Diamond?” Pink Pearl asked, thoroughly confused at his line of questioning. She belonged to her Diamond, of course. Why would her Diamond be confused?
“What? No I’m not!” Steven shouted. “Um… unless I’m dreaming again.” He wondered. “Pearl, answer me. Who am I?”
Now the Pearl was definitely confused. Was it a trick question? Was her Diamond testing her? Of course, her Diamond had just ordered her to answer the question, so after a short pause, she did. “You are Pink Diamond, of course. The most luminous, radiant, beautiful and loving of all Gems.”
“Okay.” Steven laughed a humourless chuckle, as he looked into a mirror. “I’m definitely dreaming.”
I guess I have no choice but to go along with it until I wake up.
It wasn’t his body. It was, as Pink Pearl had just said, Pink Diamond’s body. He recognised it from when he had that dream as Stevonnie on the jungle moon. It would explain his lack of breath from before, because he was in the form of a Gem. One thing that had not changed, though, was his eyes. They were the same as they had always been.
“My Diamond? Please, Blue Diamond is waiting for us. You need to get dressed.”
Her words didn’t register in his mind, as he continued to look himself over. He looked around for a wardrobe or something, and then remembered oh, yeah, it’s a dream. And I guess I’m a… gem? I can just shapeshift new clothes on, like Pearl does.
He struggled to remember what Pink Diamond looked like, but for the life of him, he just couldn’t. It had really only been a quick glimpse that he’d got, back on the jungle moon. Instead, he just did what felt right to him. A softer pink version of his mother’s white dress, with a diamond shaped cutout for his gem instead of a star. He kept his feet bare, he didn’t really feel like wearing thongs with a dress.
“Okay, I’m, uh, ready.” Steven grinned awkwardly. The Pearl stared at him for a second longer than she should, before her gem glowed and she changed her previous outfit to match.
She now had a leotard that went up to her breast, and a transparent pink tiered skirt that flowed down to the floor. Unlike Steven, however, she kept her pink leggings and ballet flats.
“Very good form, my Diamond.” Pink Pearl praised Steven, causing him to blush.
What am I doing? This isn’t… this is wrong. She shouldn’t be calling me that, I’m not a Diamond, I’m just… having Diamond dreams again. When I wake up, I have to tell Garnet.
They stepped out of the bedroom, and into a giant, magnificent chamber. A high roof supported by twirling pink pillars, the walls lined with stained windows that cast sparkling pink light onto a… chair?
No, just ‘chair’ wouldn’t do it justice. It was made of pure crystal, carved out to mold to his form perfectly, lined with cushions so he would be comfortable. This was a throne, as befitting of a Diamond like himself.
What? No, come on, I’m just Steven. None of this is mine.
Pink Pearl led him past the chair, though, down the hallway to a set of massive doors. Before her Diamond could move to open them, she placed her hand onto a panel and the doors swung open of their own accord.
Steven gasped before he could stop himself (he’d been doing that a lot since he woke up) at the sight of what was waiting on the other side of the door.
Two almost perfect copies of his mother, dressed in what looked like pink versions of the uniform that Jasper wore. Rose Quartz guards? They were holding a lance each, crossed over each other like knights would do to guard a door. They quickly lifted them up when they realised the door was opened, but that wasn’t as bad as the other thing beyond the door.
Blue Diamond.
Memories flashed back to Steven. She took my dad, and I couldn’t stop her because I was too selfish to listen to Garnet! She helped corrupt all the gems on Earth! She tried to shatter Ruby for fusing with Sapphire! She wanted to kill me when I was on trial! She… cared for me, and comforted me, every time I did something wrong and Yellow locked me away inside that dark room. It’s been so lonely here, I’ve missed her!
Wait, what was that last one? That one’s not my memory.
“Pink!” Blue exclaimed, her eyes lighting up considerably. She scooped Steven up before he could protest, and rubbed him against her cheek, in some bizarre display of affection.
“Help!” He cried, though it came out muffled and more of a ‘mmlp’. She simply laughed and placed him back down on the ground.
“You’re always so silly, Pink. Oh, what an interesting new form you’ve taken!”
Steven held his breath. This is it. This is where she recognises Rose Quartz’s dress and-
“You’re so creative, Pink!” Blue praised, as she walked into his no, Pink’s throne room. “So, tell me what’s been happening. It’s been so long since we’ve had a talk like this, I’ve been so busy with colony work.”
Steven blanched, his mind going blank. How was he supposed to worm his way out of this?
Pink Pearl seemed to come to his rescue, catching the confused and scared look in his eye. “Our apologies.” She bowed low enough for her nose to touch the ground. “My Diamond is still disoriented. She arose from her rest period less than ten minutes ago.”
She? Her? This is getting confusing. When will I wake up?
“Oh! Pink, I’m so sorry. If you need another hour or two, I can postpone.” Blue offered, looking abashed. It was a strange look for her.
The last time Steven saw Blue Diamond, she had an angry, murderous look on her face. She wanted him dead. And now… she’s being nice, like she was his mother or something.
Oh, yeah, right. I look like Pink Diamond. She probably is my, uh, Pink’s mother. Or something like that. Gems don’t have families.
“Um…” He swallowed. “Yeah, sorry, I’m feeling a little… light headed.”
He chuckled inwardly at his pun, even if it completely flew over everyone else’s head.
Blue Diamond left the room without a single word, and spared only a single glance back at Steven. The Rose Quartz guards resumed their post outside the door.
This was all too much for Steven. He was joking a few seconds ago, but now he really does feel light headed, like he’s about to faint. He stumbled around, barely catching himself on his no, Pink’s throne.
“My Diamond?” Pink Pearl asked in concern, rushing over to aid him. “Are you alright?”
“No… I… I don’t…” He slurred, feeling weaker by the moment. He went silent at the sound of another chime, this one higher than Blue’s.
“White Diamond…” Pink Pearl gasped in awe. She stepped away from Steven, letting him slump to the ground.
The doors flew open again, this time by force. So this was White Diamond. She towered above Blue or Yellow. Steven had never seen her before, but he was already terrified of her.
“Starlight. Are you okay? I heard you were sick. You didn’t catch anything… organic, did you?”
Steven’s breath caught in his throat. Does she know?
“Well, it’s no matter. Pearl, take her back to her room, and make sure she stays there. She clearly needs some more rest for… reality to sink in.”
Steven thought she was talking about Pink Pearl, but the second he caught sight of White’s, something inside him broke.
It was Pearl. Not just any Pearl, Crystal Gem Pearl. With that triangular peach hair and everything. The one that cared for him for his whole life, the one that ran away with his mother to start a rebellion, the one that taught Connie how to swordfight.
Tears streamed down his face as the lifeless and emotionless husk of his mother figure that he looked up to for so long carried him to a bed that wasn’t his, and tossed him inside.
He cried himself to sleep, as White Diamond watched impassively.
Steven found himself floating in a white void. It felt… strangely familiar. He looked down, and saw a familiar red t-shirt over pale skin. It was his own body, once again.
“Hello, Starlight.” A voice seemed to smile at him. “What are you doing in my head?”
She still thinks I’m Pink Diamond?
He didn’t really feel like talking, but he felt compelled to answer anyway, as though there would be disastrous consequences for ignoring her. “I’m sorry. I was dreaming and I accidentally projected myself into you.” The words came out unbidden, and foreign. They weren't his own, they were just what White wanted him to say.
“Hm. That’s okay, Starlight. Accidents happen. Now please leave.” White Diamond ordered, and he felt his body automatically obey.
No! Wait! I still have questions! Ngh…
“Wait!” He shouted through clenched teeth, fighting whatever was taking control of his body. He breathed a sigh of relief as he felt his muscles relax.
“Did you… say something, Pink?” White asked, no longer faking cheerfulness.
For some reason, the way she called him Pink rather than Starlight sent shivers through his entire body.
“My…” He took a deep breath to try and calm himself, but he was shaking too badly. “My name is Steven. I’m a human! And… I’ve gotta be dreaming. There’s no way any of this is real.”
‘White’ finally materialised, and Steven came face to face with White’s giant face. “What is that strange form you’ve taken? You didn’t look like that two minutes ago.”
“Because… I’m not Pink! I’m just… in her body? Oh no. Did I possess Pink Diamond?” Steven gasped in horror, the implications setting in. Was she not shattered after all? “I thought this was a dream!”
“What are you talking about, Starlight? Is this another one of your games? How many times did you think you could fool me before I caught on to your shenanigans?” White scoffed in disdain. “Assume your regular form and stop adopting these personas. I know you get bored waiting for colonies, Starlight, but there are less annoying ways to have fun.”
“But I-”
“And get out of my head.” White snarled, ensuring Steven couldn’t wrestle back control over his body.
His head was pounding.