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It all started in a small mountainous kingdom with a young, tragic king who loved from afar. Not that he would remember until too late.
“Here you sit again, gazing with those sordid eyes.”
Connor sighed but did not move his gaze from the town below. “Hello wife.”
“Am I as such?”
A frown touched his lips briefly and he finally tore his eyes from the blacksmith roaming the market. His hands paused playing with the golden coin. His wife had that same frown she had carried for the last few weeks; a downturn of the lips that carried such heavy disappointment.
“Of course you are, Amanda. There was quite the ceremony celebrating it.”
She scoffed quietly, “Perhaps we are wed but I have yet to bear you an heir. Instead, you sit here pining after a commoner, day after day.”
Connor was getting irritated now. Did she think scolding him would do much for her? It would not change his heart.
“I do not love you. I cannot change that.”
“Duty does not require love,” she snapped. “It requires action, yet here you waste. Rotting over love.” Her mouth was drawn further down in distaste, now more of a grimace, and her dark skin wrinkled unpleasantly near her eyes. “It is the highest insult you have paid me husband. Expect it to be returned in full.”
With a snap of her heel she spun from the room.
It was the next day he spat up a purple petal in the morning. Besides wondering where it came from, he gave it no thought. He really really should have.
Each day it grew worse. More petals, more blood.
Still, it did not change his routine. He would sit there and watch the roads hands fiddling with his golden coin and on occasions when his blacksmith went to the market he would follow his entire trip with wide admiring eyes.
It was on the first day he coughed up a full flower, a purple orchid, that Amanda deigned to speak to him again.
“Husband. Have you come to your senses yet? Just tell me who it is you long for and it can be fixed.”
Connor snorted, letting out a bitter chuckle. “I had my suspicions. I will lay with you wife, until you are with child but I will not divulge my heart.”
“Then on your head be it. Let us hope that a child comes before your death.”
It tooks months before he was not well enough to move. By now even his people knew how sick he was. Whole flowers and stalks would pass between his lips followed by a torrent of blood. He shivered at every breeze and he could barely move without pain wracking his body. One thing he refused to give up was his window watching. He had his guards help him move when he could not do it alone. It was a clear defiance to Amanda whom had inflicted this curse on him, though he could not physically prove it. He was not about to start a war with her home nation over it either.
Instead, he anxiously waited for his younger brother to arrive so he could warn him of the witch his wife was. He would not wish his precious brother to be married to one such as her, that cared nothing for love.
The day after his brother arrived home, victorious from war, King Connor died on his throne, purple orchids sprouting from his very skin, with Amanda’s words ringing in his ears, “You foul wretch! May you never have peace in your lifetimes. Let your soul wither each turn until you are obliterated!”
“Markus!”
The tanned teen turned and grinned at Connor as he jogged up to the boy’s side.
“Ho, Connor. What brings you out this early?”
He raised both eyebrows, because just one was beyond his facial capability, at his best friend. “I’m always up this early.”
“It was… oh what’s that word?”
“Rhetorical?”
“Yea that,” he chuckled. “All those big words. I don’t know how you do it.”
Connor matched his steps to the other’s, ignoring the bubbly feeling in his chest. It was, unfortunately, not just a happy feeling. It also meant that petals were sure to make themselves known sometime soon. But he couldn’t worry his friend.
“It’s not hard. Kara is a very nice Lady of the House. She always lets her servants read and learn in the library in our free time.”
“If only Carl were still here he might have. Leo doesn’t really care for anyone. Hey, are you okay?”
Connor blinked at the abrupt change of subject. “Of course. Why?”
Markus frowned lightly, looking for a lie with those observant heterochromatic eyes.
“Well, you’ve been so busy lately. I hardly ever see you anymore. We used to just walk to the market everyday, at least. But these last two months…”
His chest constricted, pushing the bubbling up his throat until he had to cough. He ignored the sticky feeling of blood and petals as he dropped his hand without looking at it. The rest of the flower he swallowed harshly and it scraped at his throat on the way down. It was going to be so much worse later but he couldn’t-wouldn’t worry Markus.
“Sorry. Sorry. You made me choke on my own spit. Lord help me. I’m fine Markus, just really busy. Lady Kara is preparing for her marriage you know? Everyone in her house is running around like chickens with their heads cut off!”
Markus was still regarding him with a frown but he nodded to acknowledge the words.
A week later, just after Lady Kara’s marriage to Ser Todd, Markus found his best friend’s body in the forest covered in red and white Chrysanthemums.
“Heave ho!”
Connor shivered in his tattered clothes pressing as far away from the stench of the rotten corpse as he could. It did little good considering the cell was tiny and it’s only other occupant had died several days ago. Connor was surely going to die next. He’d been left to rot with no food and hardly any water. His lips were cracked and hardly bled anymore, and his fingers and toes were numb.
He sighed and closed his eyes.
The rock of the ship swayed him into another uneasy sleep.
He only wished he had said something...
His tentative peace was rudely broken by the sound of cannon blasts. He startled, coughing harshly, choking on the object that came up, and ignoring the yellow sunflower that scattered along the floor with his blood.
The sound of swords clashing and men screaming started above deck and he couldn’t help but blink in bewilderment. Who the hell would attack the fastest and most heavily armed Navy ship in the world?
“Connor?”
Oh. He would. Of course he would. For being a pirate, he cared too much about the men under him.
“Are you insane,” he croaked, blinking at the dry burn in his throat and eyes.
Two colored eyes, blue and green, sparkled at him from the dark. “Is that even a question?”
Connor snorted. “You took a huge risk-”
“Ah, but the spoils are worth it! This huge ship, either ours or sunk, with all its treasures. And you, of course.”
His heart clenched. No. He wouldn’t say anything. It was his burden. Captain Markus had more than enough on his hands, like taking on the Navy. He didn’t need to worry about an ailing crewmate.
“Great, take me away O’ Captain. This smell is killing me.”
“We can’t have that,” he laughed gaily.
The next week was spent under Lucy’s care while he recovered and they made port in a small village they had an alliance with; protection for fair trade. Connor made sure he was not on the ship when they sailed away again. It would be another day or two before they noticed his absence in full. By then he would already be dead and his body would be discovered by a villager covered in cheery yellow flowers that reached high towards the sun.
“Ride!”
Connor laughed as he steered his dappled horse through the hills with ease. Already his pursuers were falling behind, except for one. The same one that would almost always catch him. The entire reason he had been hitting the same town for the last few months.
Of course, he was positive that the same man was the reason he was also inconveniently choking on flowers and roots in the morning. But what was he supposed to do? Tell his mortal enemy, I love you? Right. That would certainly end in a mission failure.
“Stop goddammit!”
“Come on Sheriff! Gotta try harder than that,” he whooped, jumping a large boulder.
“You son of a bitch!”
“She was a whore, not a bitch!”
He was not expecting the man to suddenly close the distance on him, his horse gaining speed with great heaving breaths. It put him right in range for the pistol on the sheriffs hip.
“Oh, shit.”
The bullet to his shoulder knocked him clean from his horse and he tumbled right down another hill smacking his head on the way.
When he woke, he was in a jail cell, stripped to his johns, where he was told about his hanging scheduled for later in the day. Well, it had been one helluva run the last few weeks but everyone had to go sometime. It was unfortunate that it was his own heart that got him caught. Well, momma always did say love was for the weak. Not that he believed her because she was such a bitch .
He chortled, thinking of the Sheriff’s words.
Maybe it was better this way anyway. He’d rather not choke on his blood the way the disease was prone to killing people who didn’t confess. This way it would be semi quick.
His death passed without fanfare until the next day when the small town came out to Bellwort flowers sprouting from every inch of his skin. He became the talk of the town, wondering who such a scoundrel could have been hopelessly in love with.
“Watch it, asshole.”
Connor banged on the hood of the car as it screeched to a stop in front of him. He clearly had the right of way. He coughed into his hand, trying to ignore the stabbing pain in his chest. Fuck, but he hated the fact that he was sick and how rapidly it was progressing. Supposedly that meant he was head over heels but he barely even knew the guy he was pining after. Sure, he admired him from afar and maybe had a bit of a crush but this was ridiculous.
He stepped into his building, making his way through the halls, nodding a pleasant greeting to the workers as he always did. He went up a few large flights of stairs and stopped to look out the large windows to the side that displayed the men hard at work carving wood. Their factory was one of the top sellers and it always made him proud that he had the opportunity to work here.
But admiring was only meant for short times so he moved on to his office where he sat and immediately started crunching numbers. The boss needed more efficiency and Connor could be ruthlessly efficient when cutting losses. Maybe that’s why everyone was always so leery around him despite his politeness.
Everyone except Markus Williams. Who stepped into his office with a bright smile.
“Morning Connor. You look hard at work like always.”
“Good morning sir. I’ll have the numbers your father needs shortly.”
“Aw come on. Surely, you can indulge me in a bit of conversation. You’re always so hard at work.”
Connor glanced up wearily at the Chairman’s son. Markus was such a bright ray of sunshine that sometimes it burned Connor just to be around him. And yet, for some reason he was dying for this man. Very quickly. Doctor’s said at this rate of growth he would be dead within the week and he’d only had it for five days.
“What would you like to speak of, sir?”
“What do you think of my father’s company? You’ve been working for him for five years now. One of the longest employees to last here.”
Of course he’d been here the longest. He was just as efficient as the boss needed. Speaking of efficiency, he wondered if he should take the surgery. His chest clenched again and he coughed.
“Th-that’s right. I enjoy working here.”
“I see. Connor, I’m going to be frank with you. My father is dying and the company is going to fall to me. You are extremely good at your job. Too good. Almost machine-like. You have no empathy for the people during this depression.”
He really didn’t like the sound of where this was going.
“Isn’t it better to save the company and all of its employees instead of keeping the few and sinking this ship?”
“Of course.” Markus leaned against the desk, hands flat on top of it. “Let me reiterate. You are the efficiency manager and you are efficient. In firing people. You don’t look for alternative solutions. If you wish to stay with the company when my father dies that will be the first thing you do. Or you’re fired. Understand?”
He clenched his teeth but gave a short nod. People were much more expensive than Markus realized obviously. Cutting a few pennies here and there through different materials was hardly going to be the same as sending someone home. But he liked his job. He didn’t want to leave. Couldn’t afford to leave what with his father’s ailing health.
Shit. He wouldn’t be able to afford the surgery.
“I understand.”
Markus straightened, fixing his cuffs. “Good. I really do hope you stay on with us, Connor.”
And then he left.
With a sigh, the efficiency manager dropped his pen on the desk and his head in his hands. How could he love such a man? Such an inefficient, emotional, empathetic… beautiful… kind…
He sighed deeply through his nose.
Better to have loved, right? He couldn’t just erase an entire emotion but at this rate he wouldn’t even be around to see how Markus would run his company. Maybe. Maybe it was better this way. Markus wouldn't have to worry about him and he could gift his all his saved money to his father so he could buy his medicine.
Yes. That worked.
Three days later Richard found his son in his bed covered in tiger lilies and cold as ice.
“What the fuck!?”
“I apologize, Lieutenant. I didn’t mean for you to see-”
“Connor you’ve got fucking Hanahaki! What the hell? Who do you love? And is that a whole flower? How long have you had this? I didn’t even know androids could get that!”
Connor blinked at the rapid fire questions before answering in order. “I realize the state I am in is not optimal. Who I… admire is not your concern. Yes, it an Everlasting Flower. I have had this for 39 hours 12 minutes and 22 seconds. I was not aware that androids could either.”
Hank stared at him with wide blue eyes, his mouth hanging open.
“I apologize for the state of your restroom. I will clean everything as quickly as possible.”
“Wait wait wait! One, who you admire is my business because you are my partner and I fucking care for your health you shitty android. Two, there is no way you’ve had it for less than two days. It doesn’t progress that quickly.”
Connor plucked the blue stained flower from the sinking, making sure to grab the fallen petals as well. He looked down at the flower cupped in his hands as he spoke, “I am not lying Hank.”
The older man sighed and sagged in the doorway, his righteous anger fading.
“I know you’re not kid. Maybe it’s an android thing but if you’re already that progressed then you need to confess.”
“I do not think that to be a wise idea.”
“Connor…”
The android looked up with an unhappy frown. “Do you think I want this? I don’t. I inquired with him if he was open to starting a relationship with anyone. His exact words were, ‘No, Connor. There’s so much to be dealt with. Maybe when the talks go through and we have equal rights.’”
Hank squinted in thought before realization dawned on his face. “Shit. You’re crushing on Robo-Jesus, aren’t you?”
“How did you-?”
Just those words should not have caused that leap of logic. It could have been anyone at Jericho, like Simon or Josh.
“I’m not stupid, Connor. Your face lights up when you talk about him. If you told him about-”
“No. That would be emotional manipulation. I cannot force my feelings onto him when he harbors none. And telling him about my predicament will only make him feel obligated to help, forcing more unnecessary weight onto his shoulders.”
“Shit, Con.”
“Lieutenant, you are already late for work. You should go.”
“Fuck, I can just call in. You’re more important-”
“Please go.”
“Connor.”
“Please. We can talk when you get home.”
He knew Hank would be worried the whole time at work but he’d rather the older man not be here for this. The counter in the corner of his HUD glared at him. He was lucky that he wasn’t human. The rate of growth would have killed him at hour 36. Instead, he had time to say goodbye in his own way.
But that had been ruined by the Lieutenant walking in on him. He’d honestly thought Hank had left already because he’d been on time to work the entire week.
He heard the front door slam some time later and he let his hands drop to the counter with a sigh. “Goodbye Lieutenant.”
His biocomponents creaked and shifted again. Connor shuddered from the force of another Heliotrope forcing its way from under his chassis.
00:12:09
The cold felt extremely nice, chilling the overheated processors trying to self repair him still. He had chosen the Riverside Park mostly because of sentimental value. He hadn’t been since Hank had pointed a gun at him but it still meant a lot, to him and to Hank.
He was going to miss the man. He hoped he stayed angry that he was blocking all incoming calls and refusing to talk instead of falling into grief again. Connor had only just gotten him back onto a healthier track. He’d hate for his hard work and negotiations to go to waste. At least he still would have Sumo. The dog hadn’t been happy to see him go, instinctively sensing something wrong, but he’d accepted the pets and followed the android all the way to the front door.
00:08:01
He’d miss Markus.The man had been such a brilliant star for all android kind but for Connor… for Connor he’d been something more. He was a guiding light yes, but he was more warm hands and kind words and forgiveness and acceptance.
He was also an overburdened man that was too empathetic for his own good. So Connor stepped in to help, taking the legal burdens from him while Markus did all the talking. Eventually they had drafted all of their requests and they were now in talks about pushing through some of the legislation that would grant them personhood. He didn’t need Connor anymore.
00:06:54
His fingers, synth skin fading in and out, brushed against the Everlasting Flower that had pushed out his regulator pump.
He had briefly thought about the surgery but the idea of removing all emotion related to Markus had his entire system shaking. He’d almost rebooted right then embarrassingly enough.
Another Heliotrope shoved its way from his neck.
00:05:00
Suddenly, Connor was not in the snowy park anymore. He was in a mountainous kingdom, on a forested noble’s land, on a pirate ship, in the wild west, in New York during the Great Depression… He was every single Connor all at once. He was and he wasn’t. He lived and died. He suffered and loved. And every single time Markus was there. Always there and always the cause.
“Do you regret it now? When you face oblivion?”
The voice was in his ears, in his head, whispered in the very air around him. It was Amanda and yet it wasn’t.
“No,” he gurgled as thirium spilled from his lips as the flowers forced their way up and out.
He was terrified and anguished. He was filled with love and longing.
He was everything but regretful.
He didn’t want to die.He didn’t want to be erased forever.
But he couldn’t give Markus up.
00:00:36
He heard the faint noise of a car and then doors slamming and running footsteps. Then his auditory processor cracked under the pressure and silence became his companion.
The shining stars were blocked by a tear stained face and grey hair. His lips were moving but Connor heard nothing. He had really hoped the Lieutenant wouldn’t find him like this.
00:00:24
And then there was Markus leaning over with wide, guilty eyes.
No. No no no. He wasn’t supposed to be guilty. It wasn’t his fault.
“Markus,” he tried to say but he didn’t know if it came out right. His audio box was under massive strain. “Markus. I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to see…”
00:00:19
Hank’s face was angry again, probably yelling but Markus leaned down and ran his fingers behind Connor’s ears. He shook his head, his eyes filling with tears when he found the slight protrusion of his biocomponent.
“Don’t cry,” he begged. “Please don’t cry.”
00:00:14
Markus shook his head again, blinking strongly. It still didn’t stop the tears from falling down his cheeks.
He felt a flower force it’s way from his cheek, curling over his right eye, blocking his dimming vision and Hank’s face.
00:00:11
Markus reached down for something. He brought his white skinless hand back into view with Connor’s own hand.
He couldn’t even feel the pressure anymore with how overloaded the rest of him was.
The RK800 shook his head as Markus pursed his lips.
There was an insistent nudge against his code but he blocked it. He didn’t want to hear false platitudes or confessions.
00:00:06
A hand to his forehead turned him enough to see Hank’s grief stricken visage again.
No. This isn’t what he wanted. This wasn’t how he wanted to say goodbye. Things should have already been settled. Why did they have to come after him? Why did they have to find him before he was gone?
He was… He was terrified.
He didn’t want to die.
He accepted the interface.
But only the comms.
Like a coward.
00:00:01
Connor, please! I love you! I just wanted to wait!
If only he believed it.
00:00:00
Markus waited for the flowers to wither. Waited for Connor to cough up the mess like he’d seen done in so many human videos. Nothing happened.
He laid there, eyes dimmed, covered in Heliotrope with one everlasting flower on his stomach and in his mouth. Like a martyr for love.
A martyr that Markus could have prevented.
If he’d just noticed… He had wondered why Connor had brought that up. Had sort of hoped it was for the reasons he wanted them to be. But he didn’t want to just jump in while they had so much going on. Stress and relationships usually worked together like oil and fire. He didn’t want that.
He certainly didn’t want Connor to sacrifice himself so Markus wouldn’t have to ‘feel bad for him’. Hank’s explanation had left a lot to be desired but the RK200 had gotten the gist of it. Connor didn’t want false feeling from him. Completely understandable.
They weren’t false, though. Not at all.
He had felt them burn through his blood, short circuit his processor, and create sensations of phantom pleasure. They were real and they were strong.
And now they brought him nothing. Nothing except heartbreak when before they would make his heart pound. Nothing except grief when before they brought joy and hope. Nothing except death when before he thought he was alive.
He… almost wished he wasn’t alive if this his how deeply it could be felt.
He had mourned lost androids before, of course, but Connor had been closer than most. Connor had noticed him not the Deviant Leader, and helped him stand strong when before he was being crushed by the weight of his people's’ fates.
Now all that was left of Connor was a garden of Remembrances and Eternal Love.
“Fuck. Shit. Why did I go to work? Why did it have to be him? Shit! Connor please.”
Markus wanted to console the human but he couldn’t; he just didn’t have the energy left in him to spare. How could he let someone lean on him when he had no one to lean on anymore? How was he supposed to carry all that crushing weight on his own again?
A sob bubbled up from between his lips.
Then a gut wrenching scream followed.
His anger, his frustration, his sorrow, and his pain. All of it he shoved into his voice as it grew staticy and hoarse. He screamed and screamed and screamed until his face was shoved into a jacketed chest and strong arms wrapped around his back.
Markus allowed the contact but his own arms clenched around Connor as if letting him go would mean his body would disappear forever.
What was he supposed to do now?
