Chapter Text
Dean should have known it would be hard this Christmas, it was difficult for the last few months, thanksgiving was painful with all the questions about where 'he' was.
He knew he messed up, he shouldn't have expected it to go back to the way it was just because of the holidays.
Cocooned in a pile of blankets wearing a sweater that was left behind and already drunk, all he can think of is 'his' absence, wishing he could change things, apologise properly, start over.
Grabbing out his phone the only text he sends that Christmas eve is "I miss you Cas, and I'm sorry." The only message he got back was "Message not sent."
Dean spent his first holiday season alone without Cas.