Chapter Text
If Thor were a better person - a better friend - he might be able to find joy in the return of others’ loved ones. As it was, his foremost thought was, like a child, it isn’t fair.
He had lost everything, and gotten none of it back. His people were a remnant of a remnant - though they still lived, their spirits seemed broken, and Thor could not find the will to lift them, not when his own were barely glowing embers.
He was exhausted, and grieving, and without the motivating power of revenge he felt almost too heavy to move.
Valkyrie - Brunnhilde, she’d told him, as though she were sharing a secret - found him sitting on the cliffside where Odin had passed into Valhalla, staring at the night sky. He felt her staring at his back for several moments but didn’t turn; finally, she sat down next to him.
“Drink?” She asked, holding out a bottle. Thor took it, eyed it, and downed what was left in it before throwing it out to sea.
Brunnhilde scowled. “I wasn’t done with that.”
“You should be,” Thor said roughly. “Asgard needs you sharp. Not dulled by drink.”
“Asgard needs her king leading, not moping in the dark,” Brunnhilde shot back. Thor felt his expression tighten and said nothing. Do I not have the right to grieve? He wanted to snap at her. Do I not have the right to hurt? How much must I bear before I am allowed to bend under its weight?
After a long pause, Brunnhilde shifted, and sighed. “Look,” she said, and then stopped. “Your brother. He was…”
“Be careful how you finish that sentence,” Thor said, a rumble in his voice. She gave him a sharp look.
“You want me to lie? He was an ass. But he was an ass I could’ve liked. I’m sorry.”
Thor’s hands balled into fists. “He should be here.”
“Wish the world worked that way.”
“It worked that way for everyone else,” Thor said, his voice sharpening, rising. “But not for my people, not for Heimdall, not for Loki.” He could feel the lightning rising in him, power surging in his veins, and fought it for control (didn’t want to fight it, wanted to let go and let the storm rage).
“I remember when Kára died,” Brunnhilde said. “When Hela killed her. She died protecting me, and I...I couldn’t let go, right? Couldn’t take it.”
“Is this supposed to help,” Thor said.
“It’s shit,” Brunnhilde said, not answering. “But it gets better. Sort of. You learn to live with it after a while. Not right away - I spent a fucking decade chasing down anything I could find about bringing people back from the dead.”
Thor fell still. “What did you find?” He asked, slowly. Brunnhilde gave him a quick, sharp, glance.
“Nothing good,” she said. “Most of it’s - a hoax.”
“Most,” Thor said.
“What isn’t isn’t worth the cost,” Brunnhilde said bluntly. “It’s wrong, Thor. Unnatural. And you always end up paying too much for it.”
Thor felt his expression harden. “Tell that to Steve Rogers,” he said. “Or to Nebula. Or to Rocket, or-”
“It’s different,” Brunnhilde said. “You know it is-”
“Why,” Thor demanded. “Because it’s Loki?”
“Thor-”
He turned toward her. “If you know something,” he said. “If you know anything. Tell me.”
“I don’t,” Brunnhilde said, but Loki was a better liar than she was.
“Don’t lie to me,” Thor said, his voice a rumble. Brunnhilde stared at him, a muscle twitching in her jaw. “If you won’t tell me, I’ll only have to go looking for myself.”
“Are you trying to get to me by threatening to be an idiot?” Thor just looked at her, waiting, and she exhaled. “Fine,” she said. “You really want to know who has that kind of power?”
“Yes,” Thor said, without hesitation.
“You’ve met him,” Brunnhilde said, voice flat as a sheet of metal. “You helped start a revolution on his planet.”
Thor’s eyes widened. “What?”
“Yep,” Brunnhilde said. “Don’t let the attitude fool you. Gast has serious power. He just doesn’t feel the need to use it, most of the time. But there were a couple times when one of his champions - the ones before Hulk - died before he wanted them to. So he brought them back.”
Thor’s heart did something strange in his chest. Almost like it was restarting after having stopped. “Just like that.”
“Yeah,” Brunnhilde said. “Like that.” She snapped her fingers. “And it was awful. Every time. They got out and he dragged them back in because he couldn’t let them rest.”
Thor rose to his feet. “You call what happened to Loki rest?” He demanded. “You didn’t see him die. You didn’t see him struggling for air until his neck finally snapped.”
Her face was a little pale, but she stood as well. “Finally,” she said. “That’s it, right there. It was over, and you want to drag him back into it - that doesn’t strike you as selfish?”
Thor gritted his teeth and started back toward the settlement that was New Asgard’s temporary home, turning his back on her. His heart was pounding in his ears. Brunnhilde caught him up after a few strides. “Come on, Thor,” she said. “You know this is wrong. You know it. Stop and think a second-”
What seemed like eons ago, Thor remembered: it’s madness, Loki had said, before they’d gone to Jotunheim and everything had fallen apart. If he could go back…
“I don’t need to think,” Thor said. He needed Stormbreaker. “I’m going to get Loki.”
“Fucking dammit, Thor, would you stop?”
“No,” Thor said. “I will not. You can’t stop me. If you try to get in my way - don’t try to get in my way.”
“What are you going to do,” Brunnhilde said, “fly a ship all the way to Sakaar and demand Gast bring him back?”
“No,” Thor said grimly. “I’m going to use Stormbreaker to go to Sakaar and demand he bring Loki back.”
“He’s not going to do it for free. If he agrees at all.”
“I didn’t expect anything else.” Thor reached his cabin and almost flung the door open, grabbing Stormbreaker from where it was leaning against the wall.
“And what do you think you’re going to offer?”
Thor walked out of the cabin, axe in hand, and turned to look at her. “I guess we’ll see what he asks,” Thor said. He saw her open her mouth, but didn’t give her the chance to say anything more.
For the first time since Thanos had dropped Loki to the floor in front of him, limp and lifeless, Thor felt something like hope.
Thor landed in the middle of a party.
Literally in the middle of a party: he stood in the midst of stunned looking, gaudily dressed courtiers, all of whom had gone perfectly silent. The man in the middle of it all, looking exactly the same as Thor had last seen him, blinked once.
“Well, look who it is,” the Grandmaster said. “Sparkles! What a surprise.”
“We need to talk,” Thor said.
“I don’t suppose you brought back my champion, did you? It was - very rude of you to run off with him in the first place, but I might see my way to forgiving you if you brought him back with you.”
“No,” Thor said. “I didn’t.”
The Grandmaster frowned. “Disappointing. You know, out of the four of you troublemakers, you’re really the one I least wanted to see again. And barging into my party, wrecking my furniture - I don’t like it one bit.”
“I’m sorry,” Thor said, though it felt like chewing rocks to say it. “I need to ask you for a favor.”
The Grandmaster’s eyebrows crept upwards and he leaned forward, ever so slightly. “A favor. What kind of favor?”
Thor was keenly aware of all the eyes watching. “I’d rather discuss that in private.”
“In private,” the Grandmaster said, and something about the way he smiled made Thor’s skin crawl. “You would, would you? All right, all right - I’ll humor you, Sparkles. Since you’ve got me...curious.” He stood up, holding his drink out without looking for someone to take it, which they did. Then sauntered over to Thor. He stood there, just smiling at him, before one of his hands flashed up quick as lightning.
Thor caught it, turning his head just a fraction to see the disc he was holding. Anger flared in his belly that he pushed down. “Don’t,” he said flatly. The Grandmaster’s eyes gleamed.
“Can’t blame a guy for trying,” he said, but when Thor let him go he just turned toward the door. “Come on then, Sparkles. Let’s chat.”
Thor rolled his shoulders back, glanced around at the party, and followed, axe still in hand. He caught up to the Grandmaster in a few strides, carefully matching him.
“Very bold of you,” he said. “Coming back here, after that stunt you pulled. Stealing my champion, my favorite scrapper, and my favorite - ah - favorite. And stealing one of my ships! That must’ve been Loki, right? So naughty.”
Thor’s stomach lurched and he said nothing.
“Anyway - like I said, very bold. That’s not - necessarily a bad thing! Just, well. Surprising. That axe is new, isn’t it? Seems pretty, uh, special.”
“It is one of a kind,” Thor said simply.
“Nice, nice,” the Grandmaster said. He didn’t seem very worried about Thor’s having it. Either he was a madman or he didn’t think Thor was a threat.
Which he wasn’t. He needed what the Grandmaster could do too much. Which meant he needed to convince him to do it. Persuasion wasn’t his gift. Guile, a cunning tongue, he’d always had Loki for that.
That’s why you’re here.
“Here we go,” the Grandmaster said, opening a door and gesturing with a flourish. “This should do - after you, you’re the guest.”
Every instinct Thor possessed told him not to turn his back. He didn’t dare object, though, not now. He walked in, and the Grandmaster followed after, closing the door behind him.
“So,” he said. “What’s your pitch? I hope it’s interesting, because you’re, well, I’d hate to have wasted all this time on something boring.”
Thor took a deep breath and let it out. “Brunnhilde - Valkyrie - Scrapper-142 told me that you’ve brought some of your warriors back from the dead.”
“Might’ve done, once or twice,” the Grandmaster said with a careless shrug. “Mortals, you know, they up and die so easily, it’s just - total bummer.”
Thor’s heart leapt into his throat. “So - you can do it.”
“That’s what I said, wasn’t it?” The Grandmaster didn’t sound annoyed, exactly, but he did frown. “Do I have to repeat everything?” He paused, and then eyed Thor, and guffawed. “Wait, wait. I get it. You’re going to ask me to - to resurrect someone for you. Oh, that’s - that’s just hilarious, Sparkles, it’s cute. Who is it? Lover? Best friend?”
Thor’s throat closed and he had to clear it before the words would come out. “My brother.”
The Grandmaster frowned. “You’ve got two?”
“No,” Thor forced out. “Loki. I want…” No. “I am asking you to bring Loki back.”
“Oh,” the Grandmaster said after a brief pause. “Oh dear. Are you telling me that he went and, uh - died?” He sounded less upset than - offended. Thor’s gut twisted and he worked his free hand, the one not holding Stormbreaker, open and closed.
“Yes,” he said, finally. “Thanos murdered him.”
The Grandmaster pursed his lips. “Unbelievable,” he said, though it sounded like it was directed at himself. “That’s just - that’s so sad. Such a charming boy, struck down in his prime-”
Thor couldn’t listen to this. “Will you do it,” he interrupted. “Will you bring him back?”
“We-ell,” the Grandmaster said. “That’s the question, isn’t it?”
Damn you, answer it, Thor wanted to snap. He held his tongue, with an effort.
“I would,” the Grandmaster said. “Just because - well, you know, I’m nice like that. But I don’t know. Sets kind of a precedent, doesn’t it? I’d have everyone in the wide universe here, begging, pleading - sounds awfully dreary to me.”
“I wouldn’t tell anyone,” Thor said immediately. “I wouldn’t say a word that it was you.”
“Easy to say,” the Grandmaster said, wagging a finger. “But - well, you’re trickier than you look, aren’t you? Stealing off with my champion, and all. How is he, by the way? Good? I do hope you didn’t get him killed.”
“He’s fine,” Thor said, something in him clenching at get him killed.
“Good, good. Anyway, though - I’m going to need a little more than a promise, I’m afraid. Not that I - just for form, you understand.”
“I understand,” Thor said. Close. He was so close, all he had to do was make the deal, and he would.
“Good! Glad to hear it. So, here’s the thing,” the Grandmaster said. “I can bring Lo - Loki - back. And I’d like to.” Thor exhaled in a great rush, relief flooding him. “But not for free.”
Thor straightened up, setting his jaw. “What do you want?”
“Well, I just don’t know,” the Grandmaster said. “Make me an offer, how about that, maybe I’ll get...inspired.”
“I’d fight,” Thor offered. “In one of your matches.”
“Just one?”
Thor felt a whisper of doubt, but - Loki. “How many would you ask?”
The Grandmaster tapped a finger against his lips. “No, I don’t...no, I’m not feeling that. Something else.”
He didn’t have Asgard’s wealth to offer, or a useful alliance. He hardly had anything. Just...himself.
Thor took a breath and steeled himself. “If you wanted…” The Grandmaster just blinked innocently at him, and Thor hunted for the right words. “I would be willing to…”
“Oh! Oh, no thanks,” the Grandmaster said, waving a hand. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but - you’re not really my type. I mean, you could be, but...no thanks.”
No. Thor felt his chance slipping through his fingers and cast about desperately for something convincing he could offer.
“Wait,” the Grandmaster said, sitting up and raising a finger. “I think I’ve got it, actually. Oh, yes. I know what...oh, yes, of course.”
He sounded pleased with himself. Thor tensed, and made himself think of Loki, alive, breathing. “What do you want?”
“Loki,” the Grandmaster said. Thor started.
“What...do you mean?”
“I bring him back,” the Grandmaster said casually, “and I...well, see, what I want is...I get to keep him. Here. With me.”
Thor’s relief went cold. “What?”
“Goodness, you’re - you’re a bit slow, aren’t you? I said, Loki stays here. I bring him back, you can hug, kiss, whatever - and he settles down here and you go...wherever.”
Thor’s jaw worked. “Why?” He asked.
“Just cause,” the Grandmaster said. “Well, also - I like him. Liked him? He was a fun one. Good to have around. I’m willing to let bygones be bygones, kiss and make up. And if I send him off home with you - well. People will say I’m playing favorites.”
Because you never do that otherwise, Thor thought, his jaw clenching. “If there’s anything else-”
“Really?” The Grandmaster interrupted. “Anything?”
“Is there?” Thor asked, altering his question.
“No,” he said. “Not actually, really - I’ve more or less...hm, yeah. Deal or no deal?”
Thor closed his eyes. He thought of Loki, stuck on this planet with this madman.
He thought of Loki, dead on the floor of the Statesman, limp and lifeless, and the hole in Thor’s heart.
“I have a condition,” he said. The Grandmaster steepled his fingers under his chin.
“A condition? All right. I’ve gotta hear this.”
“Loki will stay here,” Thor said, “but I can see him whenever I want. I’ll be welcome here, without interference - without anyone trying to put one of those discs on me, or trying to attack me. Loki might not be able to leave here. But I’ll be able to come to him, without fear for my safety, or for his.”
The Grandmaster’s eyebrows twitched up. “Fear for his - goodness, Sparkles, you don’t think I’d hurt him, do you?” Thor said nothing, and the Grandmaster looked like he was going to pout. “I wouldn’t! Never.”
“My condition,” Thor said. “Do you accept it?”
The Grandmaster frowned. “Are you going to ruin one of my parties every time you visit?”
“I’ll endeavor to have better placement for my landing,” Thor said, his heart starting to beat faster. The Grandmaster examined him for several too long seconds.
“All right, then,” he said. “Sounds good. I keep Loki, you get visitation rights. Good?”
Something in Thor twisted uneasily at keep Loki, but he shoved it aside. “Unlimited visitation rights.”
“Yes, yes,” the Grandmaster said with a wave of his hand. “Unlimited.”
“Then yes,” Thor said. “We are agreed.”
He expected some kind of oath. Or contract. But the Grandmaster just rubbed his hands together. “Okay. Let’s get started, then - you brought his body, right?”
Thor’s stomach lurched like he’d missed a step on the stairs. “His…”
The Grandmaster frowned. “Well, I need a body to work with. Sheesh, Sparkles, really, you…? I can’t just slam something together from scratch, that’s - well, very messy, almost never works. One time - oh, doesn’t matter. Anyway, are you - you’re serious, you didn’t even bring his body?”
A wretched, wrenching kind of sadness rolled over Thor. “I - couldn’t.”
“What do you mean, couldn’t?” The Grandmaster asked. “Don’t tell me you lost it. That’s just careless.”
“I didn’t-” Thor’s eyes burned. He remembered clinging to Loki’s chest, sobs ripping through him as the ship disintegrated around them. And when the Guardians had found him, he’d been alone. “I didn’t exactly get a choice. The ship we were on exploded. I...his body...”
The Grandmaster sighed, heavily. “You’re really not making this easy for me, are you,” he said aggrieved. Thor felt a surge of nerves.
“But you - can you still do it? If you need-”
“No, no, I can do it,” the Grandmaster said with a wave of his hand. “It just makes things harder. Give me a minute.”
Thor held his breath, waiting. He couldn’t see anything, not like he could with Frigga or Loki, but he could feel it - a strange tingle on his skin, a building of pressure.
There was a quiet pop and Loki winked into existence on the floor. Thor jerked forward, for a moment thinking–
Blank eyes, shot with blood, stared through him. He was frozen - literally frozen - just as Thor had seen him. Still dead, and his eyes with their burst blood vessels, the ring of dark bruises around his throat, seemed to accuse. He heard himself make a choked noise, but he couldn’t look away.
“Mmm,” he heard the Grandmaster say. “Goodness. That’s...well. Unpleasant.”
Thor couldn’t tear his eyes away from Loki. Do it now, he wanted to shout. I can’t keep looking at him like this, but he wouldn’t stop, either. He moved forward, slowly, half reaching out to touch him.
“Ah,” the Grandmaster said. “Don’t do that. You’ll mess with the process.”
“The…” Thor realized that looking closely he could see the ice melting off Loki’s body, though as it did it left blue skin behind. Jotun skin, and Thor couldn’t help but stare. He’d never seen Loki like this before.
(He knew he was focusing on minutiae to avoid thinking what if this doesn’t work, what if he’s lying, what if–)
A twitch. A tremor, running through Loki’s body, like a shudder, and Thor stopped breathing.
Loki inhaled, a rasping, awful, sound that made Thor’s spine crawl. He glanced at the Grandmaster, who was still standing still, looking at Loki with strange, rapt, attention.
Then Loki started screaming.
It was a thin, strained, scream, like it was - like it was being forced out of a crushed throat, and Loki’s body seized up, shaking. Thor lurched forward with a cry.
“Hold it!” The Grandmaster said. “Stay right there, this is delicate stuff-”
“You’re hurting him!” Thor shouted.
“He’ll be fine,” the Grandmaster said dismissively. Loki’s back arched, Jotun-red eyes wide open as he kept on making that thin, rasping sound, almost more a high whine than a scream. Spasm after spasm contorted Loki’s body and Thor clenched his hands into fists, nails digging into his palms, trembling with the effort to hold still.
That strange tingle on Thor’s skin vanished, and Loki went limp, his eyes finally closing.
Thor couldn’t hold himself back. He threw himself forward on his knees next to Loki, reaching out with a shaking hand, looking for life, he seemed so still–
No, Thor realized. He could hear Loki breathing. Quiet, shallow, maybe a little unsteady, but he was breathing.
Thor’s exhale felt like a sob. He reached out to cup Loki’s neck only to shy away at the sight of lingering bruises, touching his face instead. His blue skin was cold to the touch but didn’t burn, and he could feel the ridges of the raised markings there, and Loki was alive.
“That’s just - so moving,” the Grandmaster said, and Thor briefly hated him even more, but even that was overwhelmed by relief, a sense of being whole again. He moved his hand down over Loki’s heart.
“His neck,” Thor said, his voice coming out choked. The Grandmaster hummed.
“Yes, yes. There’s a few, ah, glitches, surface marks tend to...last a little longer. Unfortunate, really, there was a fellow who...oh, never mind. They’ll go away and he’ll be pretty as ever.”
Thor only really heard they’ll go away and nodded, exhaling. He still couldn’t take his eyes off Loki, half afraid that if he did he would vanish, or this would all be revealed to be a cruel trick. “Loki,” he said, lowly, but anything else he wanted to say - he didn’t want to say in front of this madman. He turned his head, finally, to look up at the Grandmaster, who looked nothing so much as idly amused. “Thank you,” Thor made himself say.
“You’re welcome, Sparkles,” the Grandmaster said. He didn’t seem surprised by the change in Loki’s appearance; Thor wondered if he’d seen Loki like this before or if it just didn’t register. Either way, it didn’t matter. A strand of Loki’s hair had fallen into his face, and Thor tucked it tenderly back.
Loki made a small noise and Thor immediately tensed, leaning forward. He wanted to be the first thing Loki saw when he opened his eyes. Loki’s eyelids fluttered and Thor almost held his breath.
Loki’s eyes blinked open and they were bleary and confused but they moved, fixing slowly on Thor, though without recognition. For a terrified moment Thor thought he doesn’t remember, and then for another moment thought maybe that’s a good thing, and then Loki’s eyebrows furrowed, the dark pupils in his red eyes dilating.
“Thor?” He said, voice hoarse. Thor’s eyes stung.
“It’s me,” he said. “Loki, brother-”
“Welcome back, sweet thing,” the Grandmaster said cheerfully. Thor ignored him.
“Thor,” Loki said. “What…” He coughed, weakly, and Thor’s breath caught.
“It’s all right,” he said. “You’re…”
“Thor,” Loki said again. “What the fuck did you do?”
“I’ll leave you two for some private time,” the Grandmaster had said, with a bizarrely suggestive wink. Thor hadn’t even glanced at him, staring hungrily at Loki. Loki, who still hadn’t spoken again, though his skin had faded back to its more usual pale hue.
His eyes were still red, though. Not Jotun-red. Just the red of burst blood vessels. Thor’s stomach heaved briefly into his throat and he controlled himself.
“Loki,” Thor said finally, though he’d meant to wait for Loki to speak first. He seemed to have forgotten Thor was there.
“Shut up,” Loki said. Thor jerked back, surprised and not a little hurt.
“What-”
“The Grandmaster-” Loki cut off, clearing his throat, or trying. He coughed, one hand rising to his neck but it fell away before he made contact. “The Grandmaster does nothing for free. What did you sell?”
Oh, Thor thought with dread. He’d thought they’d have longer before he had to address this.
You. I sold you. He took a deep breath. “I was desperate,” he said hoarsely. Loki turned toward Thor slowly.
“Thor,” he said, dread seeping into his expression. “Tell me you didn’t-”
Thor hunched his shoulders. “It isn’t - I don’t have to do anything.”
For a moment, Loki looked relieved, and Thor’s heart lightened marginally. Then he tensed again. “Then who does?”
Thor did not want to be the one to break this news. He’d hoped, very much, to have more time. But he wasn’t going to lie.
“His condition for bringing you back was that you had to stay here,” Thor said. Loki just stared at him in seeming incomprehension.
“I misheard you,” Loki said after a moment, strangely faint. “Tell me that I misheard you.”
Thor swallowed. “I’m not leaving you here alone,” he said quickly. “I’ll be here too, I made certain he understands that-”
“You are serious,” Loki said.
“It was the only way,” Thor said.
“The only-” Loki choked, and for a moment Thor panicked. “The only way? Thor, you dragged me out of Valhalla, away from our mother, and sold me to a madman!”
Thor rocked back, the breath leaving his lungs. Dragged me out of Valhalla. He’d - known, he supposed, but it hadn’t mattered, not until Loki said it. It was over, and you want to drag him back into it, he remembered Brunnhilde saying, and his stomach sank. “I didn’t-”
“Didn’t think, yes, that’s obvious,” Loki said, and yet even as angry as his voice sounded all Thor could think was that it was his voice, that Loki was here and breathing. He could hardly think of anything else, except-
Mother. Was she well? Is she happy?
“I’m…” The apology caught in his throat. Thor could not say I’m sorry because the fact was that he wasn’t. Couldn’t be. “I missed you,” Thor said, but that was too little. “When you...a piece of my heart died with you. I lost everything and I could not bear-”
“And what about what I cannot bear?” Loki demanded. “What about that? Do you think I want to be stuck here for the rest of my life, slave to his whims?”
“You won’t be!” Thor cried. “I’ll be here to protect you-”
“Because you’ve done so well at that,” Loki’s voice was rising. “As when you protected me from Thanos - oh, wait! I can’t believe you-”
But apparently Loki had strained his throat too much, because he started coughing again. Thor lurched toward him and Loki wheezed, “don’t touch me.”
Anger and hurt and guilt were all twisted together in Thor’s chest. He stared unhappily at Loki as he got the fit under control, sinking down to sit on the floor with his back to the wall. One of his eyes had started to return to a more normal color, but not the other.
“I need you,” Thor said, when he thought he could speak without raising his own voice. “Loki, I - so much is gone. Is lost. You are the one piece of home that is left. I know this is not...ideal.”
Loki squeezed his eyes closed. “Not ideal,” he echoed, voice thick with scorn.
“But…” Thor swallowed hard. “You are my brother, Loki.”
“Your brother,” Loki said flatly, “whom you bartered to an immortal who sees people as pieces in his great game.”
“I didn’t barter you!” Thor’s chest burned. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. “Do you wish I hadn’t brought you back?” The moment he asked it, he realized why he’d avoided asking: because he was afraid the answer would be yes.
But Loki slumped. “Before you did it, yes,” he murmured, and Thor just kept himself from wincing. “Now...I’m not particularly keen on dying again, I suppose.”
It wasn’t much. Thor would take it. He had to.
He moved over toward Loki, and when he didn’t pull away embraced him, though gently - not hard and desperate as he wanted to. He almost feared to break him. Thor felt Loki inhale, his ribs expanding, and then sigh.
“You great idiot,” Loki said, sounding resigned.
“So you have been calling me for centuries,” Thor said, not letting go. He was never letting go again. “I am going to protect you. I know...I know you don’t want to be here. I’d rather you weren’t, either. But it need not be...you managed here before, and now you won’t be on your own.”
“Nor am I going to stay here,” Loki said. “As soon as I find a way out, I’m - we’re leaving. Whatever you might have promised, I didn’t.”
“Oh, dear,” said the Grandmaster’s voice, and Thor felt Loki’s body go rigid. “That hurts. That you’d want to run off like that, after I-? Wow, that’s-”
“He didn’t mean it,” Thor said quickly, before Loki could speak, suddenly deathly afraid of what the Grandmaster might do if he thought Loki was going against his wishes.
“That’s good,” the Grandmaster said. “Because you’d, ah...have a bit of a problem. Namely that you’d sort of...die. Again.”
Thor’s breathing snagged, a frisson of fear running through him like a bolt of his own lightning. Loki pulled away from Thor and he let him, just far enough that he could turn.
“Convenient,” he said, voice flat. The Grandmaster shrugged.
“Just the way it works, sweetheart.” He smiled, dazzlingly. “Now, you two’ve had your touching reunion. Lo-lo, can I...borrow you for a sec? I think we should have a little, uh...talk about some things.”
Now it was Thor’s turn to stiffen. “I’ll stay.”
“This is a private conversation, Sparkles,” the Grandmaster said. “Go on. Take a little walk. Don’t get - don’t get possessive on me.”
“I’m not-”
“Thor,” Loki said lowly, his eyes fixed on the Grandmaster. “I think you should go.”
Thor turned to stare at him, almost hurt. “What?”
“I’ll come find you,” Loki said. “But I think I’d rather...speak with him alone.”
“Well? There you have it,” The Grandmaster said. He made a little shooing gesture. “Have fun. Maybe get a drink? You seem pretty...tense.”
Thor didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to let Loki out of his sight.
But he didn’t dare try to argue with the Grandmaster too much, either.
“All right,” he said slowly. “I’ll...but I won’t be far.”
He left, though almost immediately turned to press his ear to the door. He couldn’t hear anything through it, though.
Thor wondered who he should ask about a place to stay. A shared place, so Loki would be close by. It occurred to him briefly that Loki might want his own space, but he brushed the thought aside. He’d recognize that it would be better to stay close together. It was safer.
It wasn’t just that Thor didn’t think he’d be able to sleep if he didn’t know that Loki was there, close enough to reach in seconds. At least until Thor stopped seeing him die every time he closed his eyes.
When Loki found Thor after his talk with the Grandmaster, he was in an extremely poor mood. He did look like he’d gotten to wash, though, to Thor’s relief. His hair was damp and he was no longer smudged with the dust and dirt he’d been covered it at the moment of his death. He was wearing different clothes, too, though they didn’t look like his. Thor supposed they must have been provided by the Grandmaster.
“Don’t talk to me,” he snapped at Thor, when he opened his mouth. “I am not in the mood.”
“What happened?” He asked gingerly.
“I thought I said not to talk to me.” Loki exhaled loudly. “He just wanted to catch up. And inform me that he’s willing to forgive my previous transgressions so long as I behave.”
Thor did not think that quite explained Loki’s mood, although maybe it did. The ‘being told to behave’ might well have done it on its own. “Is there anything you would like to do?”
“Sleep,” Loki said bluntly, and rubbed his eyes. He did, Thor realized, look exhausted. The bruising on his throat had faded but was still visible, and Thor realized he was staring at it again, his stomach clenching.
The sound of Loki choking. His dull eyes.
“What?” Loki said, and then seemed to realize what Thor was looking at and drew a sharp breath. “Stop that,” he said.
Thor shook his head. “Does it...does it hurt?”
Loki’s hand drifted up toward his neck and then pulled quickly away. “Not like it did when it happened,” he said, voice caustic. It didn’t quite succeed at hiding the slight tremor.
Thor swallowed hard. “It looks…”
“I’ll wear a scarf, if you’re going to stare,” Loki said tightly.
“That’s not - you don’t need to do that.”
Loki’s chin lifted, which just made the bruising more obvious. “I don’t exactly enjoy you looking at me like you’re going to be sick.”
“I’m not going to be sick,” Thor took a deep breath. “Seeing...watching what he did to you was among the worst moments of my life.”
“It ranks fairly high in my memory as well,” Loki said, his voice still dry. Anger flashed.
“How can you be flippant about this?”
“What else am I supposed to be?” Loki demanded, voice rising. “A couple hours ago I was in Valhalla, at Frigga’s side. And now I am here. I am a defacto prisoner on a planet made of trash. My body feels as though the universe chewed me up and spat me back out, which I suppose after a fashion it did. And my throat aches. Either I am flippant or I start screaming and don’t stop. Which would you rather?”
Thor flinched. His chest ached again as he imagined Loki sitting at Frigga’s side, the two of them smiling, laughing together.
Selfish, said Valkyrie’s voice. Shame and guilt washed through him.
“I didn’t want…” Thor trailed off. “I just wanted you back, Loki.”
Loki sighed, glancing away. “I know.”
“I went - a little mad.”
Loki glanced at him through his eyelashes, like he didn’t quite want to look at Thor directly. “The fact that you came here to ask for his help attests to that.”
Thor tried to smile, though he was sure it didn’t really look like one. “I had to pry it out of Brunnhilde. Valkyrie.”
“Ah,” Loki said. “So she does have a name. And survived. Good for her.”
“She survived.” Thor took a step toward Loki. “Do you...want anything? Something to eat? Who do we ask about where we’re staying?”
Loki’s eyebrows twitched up. “We?”
Thor faltered. “I assumed that...I’d like us to stay close. I know that this place is dangerous.” And you’re...not well. For all Loki was putting a brave face on it, Thor could see the traces in him. The tension in his posture, the flicker of his eyes toward doors and windows. The slight tremors that periodically shook him. He braced himself to argue, but after a hesitation Loki nodded.
“The Grandmaster already - kindly offered me a suite. But I will...ask for one with two bedrooms.”
One, Thor was tempted to say. One bedroom, so I can wake and hear you breathing, but he held his tongue and made himself nod. “I can ask, if you’d sooner.”
“No,” Loki said slowly. “I think it’s better if it comes from me.” He glanced at Stormbreaker, resting against the wall, and nodded at it. “I see Eitri finished it, if belatedly. Though the handle looks a little odd.”
Thor blinked. “What?”
“Your axe,” Loki said. “I - well, ‘Odin’ - sent the commission a while ago. Mjolnir was a mighty weapon, but I thought you might need something sharper.”
Thor stared at him. Oddly, his eyes stung. He remembered the mold - the mold that had already been there when he’d arrived looking for a weapon.
“He hadn’t finished it,” Thor said. “Thanos had attacked, and destroyed his hands. I helped him forge it. The handle was...a gift from a friend.”
Loki’s lips flickered, very slightly. “It suits you.”
He’d gone looking for a weapon to avenge Asgard, and Loki, and found the weapon Loki had meant for him. Thor wished he had known. Though maybe then it would have hurt too much.
“I didn’t know you’d commissioned it,” Thor said. Oddly enough, Loki seemed embarrassed.
“I am just...glad it found its way to you.”
And it brought me here to bring you back. Thor told himself it was something like fate. That he’d done exactly what he was supposed to do. That Loki wasn’t meant to be dead.
That he’d made the right choice.
They were installed in a suite with two bedrooms, spacious and comfortable. Thor eyed it almost suspiciously, though he couldn’t help but look at the sunken pool in the floor, steam rising off the surface, with anticipation.
Loki made a beeline for one of the bedrooms. Thor let him go, deciding that he deserved rest. For himself, he stripped down and sank into the pool, exhaling slowly.
He’d done it.
That hadn’t really hit Thor until just now. Not really. Caught up in the immediate emotions, in Loki’s reaction, in everything else, he hadn’t really absorbed that he’d done it. He’d come here to bring Loki back, and here he was. Alive.
A smile spread across Thor’s face. There’d been a price, of course, but - it was fine. They were here together. And Loki was back. That was all that mattered.
He sunk down into the water, letting the tension - the grief - that he’d been carrying since the Statesman ease, eyes drifting closed. All was not well, but one great wrong had been righted today.
Loki slept for maybe an hour and a half before he woke up screaming.
Thor had been inspecting the cooler in one corner, wondering if he dared drink anything in it, and before he was even thinking about it he had Stormbreaker in hand and was charging into Loki’s room, every alarm going off at once. But there was no attacker, no intruder: just Loki, twitching, his scream cutting off into a strangled choking sound-
Stormbreaker fell from Thor’s suddenly nerveless fingers and he stumbled to the bedside, grabbing Loki to shake him free of his nightmare. Loki’s fist hit him square in the nose, and his other slammed into Thor’s short ribs in a way that made Thor think there should have been a knife involved.
He stumbled back with a shout, shaking off the pain. You didn’t think that through, he thought ruefully, but Loki was awake now, eyes wide and breathing in ragged, uneven, gasps. For several seconds he stared at Thor without recognition, but then his eyes clarified and he seemed to focus. Thor exhaled a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
“Loki,” he said lowly. “It was only a dream.”
“I know, you idiot,” Loki snapped, but there was a rough edge on his voice that belied the sharpness of the words. He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back out of his face. He glanced down at his right hand and flexed his fingers, eyebrows pulling slightly together. “Did I stab you?”
“No,” Thor said, trying to dredge up a smile though his heart was still racing. “Not this time.”
Loki stared at his hand a moment longer and then visibly shook himself. “Lucky you.”
Thor hesitated, realizing that Loki must have tried to summon one of his knives. And failed. That was...concerning - was there something wrong with Loki’s magic? - but he decided it was probably better not to press on that now.
He walked over to the bed instead and sat down. Loki stared at him, looking briefly hunted. “What?”
“I just…” Thor didn’t think Loki would want to hear I panicked when you screamed, and I don’t want to leave you alone, I’m afraid. “I thought something bad had happened.”
“I’m fine,” Loki said, though mechanically, unconvincingly. Thor couldn’t tell if the shadows on his neck were just shadows or still bruises that should have healed by now. (What if they didn’t? What if the Grandmaster was lying and Loki would bear the marks of his death forever?)
Thor slammed the door on that thought. “Yes,” Thor said. “You didn’t just wake up from a nightmare and try to stab me. My mistake.”
Loki gave him a flat, unhappy, stare. “What do you want me to say?” He asked. “Do you want me to tell you that I remember every damned second of Thanos killing me? That I know now what it feels like when your own neck snaps?”
Thor’s stomach heaved and he swallowed hard. “If that’s what you need to say,” he made himself say, “then yes.”
Loki looked away, jaw working. His arms folded around himself like he was cold, though Loki didn’t get cold. “Not everything needs to be said.”
“If it helps you to speak of it-”
“It doesn’t,” Loki interrupted. His shoulders were drawn up, and his breathing sounded harsh, a little too fast. “Leave it, Thor.”
He looked down, unhappily. It felt as though there was more he should do. More he should try. But he was afraid of pushing too hard, or in the wrong direction. Whatever Loki said, he was fragile - visibly so. Thor did not want to cost him his sanity by saying the wrong thing.
“So much for a revolution,” he said, finally. “This place doesn’t seem to have changed at all.”
“Of course it hasn’t,” Loki said, his voice dull. “You’ve seen what the Grandmaster can do. I doubt this place will ever change, as long as he’s entertained.” Loki glanced at Thor sideways. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not discuss him, either.”
That was probably wise. He didn’t want to set off Loki’s temper again.
At least touch...maybe that was less dangerous than words. Thor reached out, thinking initially of clasping the back of Loki’s neck only to check himself and change it to a hand on his shoulder. Loki shuddered slightly but didn’t move to swat Thor’s hand away.
“It’s going to be all right,” Thor said, and hoped that he sounded certain, and not just desperate for it to be true. “We will...together, we can deal with Sakaar, and the Grandmaster.”
Loki made a noise in the back of his throat. “You say that now.”
“You did before, didn’t you?” Thor reminded him again. “What’s so different now?”
“Nothing,” Loki said, after a hesitation that made Thor think there was something Loki wasn’t saying. “I’d say the fact that he effectively owns me, but I suppose that wasn’t so far from the truth before. He owns everything on this planet.”
Thor bristled, frowning. “He doesn’t own you.”
“I said ‘effectively.’” Loki just sounded tired, though, rather than angry. He slumped back against the pillows. “You heard him. If I leave, I die. I don’t think that little clause was an accident, do you? No, that’s - insurance against property loss.”
Heat welled up in Thor’s chest. He knew what Loki was saying, and he could see the truth in it, and he hated it. And hated even more that he didn’t dare confront the Grandmaster about it, for fear that he would take back what he’d done.
He looked away. “I won’t let him treat you like - that.”
Loki opened his mouth, then closed it with a sigh and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I’m sure.”
“You don’t believe me,” Thor said. He could hear the faintly desperate edge in his own voice, and was ashamed, but - he couldn’t let Loki think he wouldn’t take care of him.
He could still hear the Grandmaster’s casual accusation, and even if he knew it hadn’t been his fault…
That didn’t make the guilt easier to bear.
“I believe you.” Loki gave Thor a tired look. “I’m exhausted, Thor. Let me rest.”
“Will you?” Thor asked, before he could think better of it. Loki tensed.
“What are you going to do if I say no?”
“I could stay here,” Thor said. “Just to...keep watch. And wake you if anything should happen.”
“You mean if I start howling like a demon again?” Thor knew better than to take that bait. He stayed silent, and the tension went suddenly out of Loki’s body. “Do as you like,” he said, weary once again. “I can hardly stop you.”
“You can ask me to leave.”
“Would you?” Loki’s hands twisted together in an anxious gesture as familiar as breathing. “If I asked you to walk away, would you?”
Thor hesitated. “Are you asking?”
Loki was quiet for several long moments, and Thor’s chest tightened. What if Loki did ask him to leave? And not just leave this room, but leave here, this planet? Would he? Would he ask, out of some need to prove that he did not need Thor’s help?
“No,” Loki said after a long moment. “You can stay, if you want.” He laid back down and rolled to his side so his back was to Thor, curled a little into himself. Thor tried not to sigh too loudly, walking over to pick Stormbreaker up from where he’d dropped it and lean it against one of the walls. There was no chair to sit on, so instead he sat down gingerly on the side of the bed, half waiting for Loki to object.
He didn’t, though neither did he move over to make more room. Thor swung his legs up anyway, sitting with his back against the headboard and his legs stretched out, one eye on Loki and the other on the door.
Thor almost dozed off several times, but each time managed to jerk himself awake. Loki didn’t scream again, though a few times he whimpered and twisted, turning his face toward the bed like he was trying to hide in it.
Somewhere else, Thor could hear the low beat of music - a party, somewhere in this tower. He wondered, vaguely, if the Grandmaster knew of anything to ward off nightmares.
He didn’t think Loki would want him to ask, and he doubted either of them wanted to be further in the man’s debt.
“I’m alive,” was the first thing Loki said on waking up. Thor gave him an uncertain look.
“Yes?”
“I thought I’d dreamed that bit.” Loki rubbed his eyes. Thor frowned.
“Did you...dream, in Valhalla?”
“No,” Loki said, and then paused. “I’m...not certain. It’s blurry.” Panic flickered across his features. “My memories-”
“That makes sense, doesn’t it?” Thor interrupted, hoping to head off what he recognized as burgeoning panic. “Valhalla is a place of the dead, not the living. Since you’re not...not dead…”
“I don’t want to lose my memories,” Loki snapped over him, suddenly tense enough he was almost vibrating. Thor blinked, and Loki sat up, glaring at him. “Mother was there. We spoke. We talked about-” He faltered, uncertainty and then grief flashing across his face.
His expressions were so...naked, It was more than a little unnerving, even if it was useful. It wasn’t right for Loki. “You will return someday,” Thor said. “In many, many years.” Together, the two of us. “She will be there then.”
“Will I?” Loki said, his voice turning caustic. “It was a bit of a surprise I was allowed to enter this time.”
Thor stared at him. “A…” He broke off, seeking words, but Loki was already waving a hand in dismissal.
“It doesn’t matter now,” he said, though Thor could see clearly enough that it did matter and he just didn’t want to discuss it. “The Grandmaster is expecting us at today’s games. Don’t look so horrified,” he added, before Thor could say anything. “He said it would be ‘disappointingly bloodless’.”
That was some relief. Thor didn’t know what he would’ve done if the Grandmaster had still been having his slaves kill each other. (Probably nothing, you coward.) “Do you want to go?” He asked. Loki gave him an odd look.
“It wasn’t actually a question. Your attendance is probably optional. Mine almost certainly isn’t.”
“Not-” Thor frowned. “You have to go?”
“I’d expect so, yes. The Grandmaster doesn’t make requests.”
“What was that about me?”
Thor whipped around. He hadn’t heard anyone come in, hadn’t heard the door open, and certainly hadn’t heard a knock. But there Sakaar’s master was, in the same sparkly gold robe and slippers he seemed to favor. Smiling.
Thor was struck by the nearly irresistible urge to punch him. He reined it in and glanced at Loki, who just looked resigned.
“Nothing of interest, Grandmaster,” Loki murmured. The Grandmaster frowned at him.
“Sounding a little - goodness, perk up! Let’s see a little more energy, am I right?” He glanced at Thor, as if for agreement. Thor tried not to frown.
“I think it’s understandable for him to be tired,” he said, trying not to sound like he was arguing. The Grandmaster blinked at him like he was surprised.
“Is it? Are you - are you tired, Lo?”
“No,” Loki said, a little too quickly. “I’m fine.”
“Because I could get you a little pick me up, if you needed. Just a little - something to help you feel a bit more…”
“Thank you,” Loki said, “but that’s...not necessary.” There was just a hint of a nervous thrum in his voice, and Thor glanced at him. He hadn’t seen it before, but Loki seemed almost...skittish. It wasn’t just dislike, or distaste. He studied Loki a little more closely and noticed the slight shift in posture toward something almost deferential. Like the way he’d said the Grandmaster’s title.
Slave to his whims, Loki had said, and Thor had assumed that was a new state of affairs, but Loki seemed a little too familiar with donning this mask.
Unconsciously, he moved a little closer to his brother.
“Well, kitten, you let me know if you change your mind.” The indulgent smile he gave Loki made Thor itch, not to mention - kitten?
Loki didn’t even twitch at being so named. Smiled, in fact, and it looked horrifyingly real. “Certainly.”
“Well, go on, then,” the Grandmaster said, with a little wave of his hand. “Take a bath, get all polished up - Sparkles and I will wait for you here.”
Loki gave Thor a look he couldn’t read, and then said, “I’ll be quick. I wouldn’t want to keep you waiting.”
“No! Take your time,” the Grandmaster said with that grin of his. “We can keep ourselves entertained.”
Loki hesitated, but turned and retreated into the washroom. Thor watched him go, frowning.
“You know,” the Grandmaster said, “I’m really - I’m actually glad it worked out this way. It’s nice, having Lo back around. He might be a troublemaker but he’s so much fun.”
Thor eyed him sideways. “That’s...good,” he said, carefully.
“Mm, yes. I wouldn’t normally be so quick to let things go - that whole ‘helping you steal off with my champion’ thing - but...I really did like him. Such a good sport.”
The back of Thor’s neck prickled. “Huh,” he said.
“Always game for anything,” the Grandmaster said with a reminiscent smile. “A delight at parties.” He hummed. “Do you know that - oh, well, I guess you wouldn’t. Brothers, right? Unless that’s - a thing, on Assburg, I know some families are...ah, about that.”
No, Thor thought. He can’t be serious. He glanced toward the closed bathroom door.
“You don’t mind, do you?” The Grandmaster said cheerfully. “I mean. Not that it’d particularly matter if you did, but...I don’t want any misunderstandings. That’d be...terrible. I figured we’ll just, you know, pick up where we left off. I’ll forgive anything - well, a lot of things - for a pretty face.” His smile looked like a leer. Thor’s chest tightened.
A slave to his whims.
“He’ll probably take some coaxing,” the Grandmaster said. “Skittish little thing, he is. And I guess dying won’t help that. But…”
Thor’s stupefaction evaporated and anger flooded in. He wanted to beat the Grandmaster into the floor. Cut off his head with Stormbreaker. Strike him down with lightning.
His hands clenched into fists. If he dies, what happens to Loki? Could I kill him? And if I fail…
“Anyway,” the Grandmaster said, and smiled at Thor. His eyes glittered, his expression almost unbearably smug. “You don’t mind. Do you?”
Thor’s jaw tightened. Before he could figure out what to say that wouldn’t involve shouting, the Grandmaster kept going. “Because, well...I’m going to...get on that. Him. Back on him.” His eyebrows rose with a little smirk. “I mean. We want to make sure everything works, right?”
His breathing had started to come hard and fast, and there was a faint fog trying to take over his vision. Thor took a deep breath. “I don’t think now’s exactly the time,” he made himself say, through his teeth. “Considering...considering.”
“Considering he was dead?” The Grandmaster waved a hand. “Eh.”
Thor bit his tongue, hard. Imagined ripping the Grandmaster’s head off his shoulders with his bare hands. If you touch him I’ll…
But he couldn’t make any threats. None whatsoever. Some protector you are.
“Looking a little unhappy there, Sparkles,” the Grandmaster said cheerfully.
Thor’s nails dug into the palm of his hand. “I am just worried about Loki. He’s not…” Loki would hate him for this. “He’s not at his best.”
“Oh, I know! Trust me, I can...I can tell. But he’ll get better. Don’t worry so much, Sparkles. Goodness. You’re...a little protective, aren’t you?”
“He’s my younger brother,” Thor said stiffly.
“I’ve got a younger brother,” the Grandmaster said. “You don’t see me fussing over him. Though - maybe he’s older. I can’t remember, it’s been a while. I’m just saying, Sparkles, it...didn’t anyone ever teach you to share?”
Thor trembled with the effort of holding still. “Don’t you dare touch him,” he burst out, before he could stop himself, and then felt a wave of terror. The Grandmaster’s eyebrows rose.
“Wow,” he said. “That’s - wow, sounding a little aggressive there. We’re not going to have a problem, are we?”
Thor glanced toward the bathroom door. His nails dug into the palms of his hands. “No,” he made himself say. “There is no problem.”
“Good,” the Grandmaster said pleasantly. “I’m glad to hear it.” He patted Thor on the shoulder. “I knew you’d be understanding.”
Thor took a slow, unsteady breath and let it out. Pick up where we left off. It wasn’t like he hadn’t noticed there was - something, there, at least in the way the Grandmaster looked at Loki, but he’d assumed that Loki wouldn’t be interested.
Of course, it was possible that Loki’s interests weren’t relevant.
Somehow, he was going to find a way to get Loki away from this planet.
The door opened and Loki emerged with still-damp hair before Thor could figure out anything more to say. He stopped, looking back and forth between them, and the little color in his face drained out of it.
“What did you say to him,” Loki said to the Grandmaster. Not asking Thor, which - if he’d had any doubts, there they went.
“The truth and nothing but the truth, sweetheart,” the Grandmaster said. Loki’s jaw tightened and relaxed.
“That wasn’t necessary,” he said, voice audibly strained.
“How many times do I have to tell you,” the Grandmaster said, “I’m not about necessary. Well, come on! Enough waiting around, the two of you need to just - lighten up, I swear, so dreary. It’s okay, though, we’ll get you sorted.”
Thor looked at Loki, who was plainly avoiding his eyes. So not only do you drag his soul out of Valhalla and force him back into a damaged body, haunted by nightmares, murmured a nasty voice that sounded like Brunnhilde’s, you’ve also chained him to an immortal, sexually depraved, madman.
What made him feel more guilty than any of that, though, was the fact that he didn’t feel guiltier.