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This was not how Gray had imagined finally confessing his feelings for Natsu. In his many daydreams he had played through countless scenarios, embarrassing ones where he blurted it out in the middle of the guild, romantic ones where he would drag Natsu off and tell him over dinner…by his bedside…in the heat of a battle…out camping at night…in the middle of a brawl. He’d imagined shouting it aloud for the whole world to hear or whispering it so only the Dragon-slayer could hear the words. He’d naively thought that he’d imagined every possible way that he could tell the flame brained idiot that he loved him, what he had never imagined though, was doing it in the middle of war. In front of the dark wizard they had been fighting so hard to defeat and seconds after he had learnt that pink-haired, child-like idiot that he had fallen in love with years before, was also the very demon that he had sworn to kill.
“I’m sorry…” Natsu was never meant to sound that broken, that guilty and Gray’s eyes narrowed, seeing the lack of surprise in the green eyes that were doing everything in their power to avoid looking at him. He knew. Natsu already knew what he was…Now the odd quiet and strange expressions he had caught on the Dragon-slayer’s face ever since he had run off to fight Zeref alone made sense, and how he wished they didn’t bile rising as the reality of the situation sank in. His hands curled into fists at his side as his attention shifted to Zeref, catching the smirk on the older man’s face before his gaze shifted to the book in Zeref’s hands. The book of E.N.D. Something unpleasant lurched in his stomach as he recalled how close he had come to destroying that book during the Tartarus events. How close he had come to destroying Natsu…I could have killed him. Neither of us would have known why, but I could have killed him…
That thought gave him pause. Before there had never been any doubt or hesitation about killing E.N.D when he thought of facing the demon. He had promised his father. He had Devil-slaying magic and it was the one goal he had strived towards since the moment Silver had given him that magic. But now, his stomach churning wildly and with Natsu staring at him with those pained eyes, the thought of keeping his promise, of killing the demon left him feeling sick. I can’t kill Natsu…
“Don’t apologise…”
“But…”
“Natsu,” Gray cut him off sharply, not wanting to hear the protests or reasons for why he had to apologise or for why he thought that Gray shouldn’t forgive him. I can’t kill him…I won’t. He ignored Zeref as he moved to the Dragon-slayer, reaching out to grip Natsu’s shoulders, unprepared for the fear that flickered through the expressive eyes although the smaller teen made no effort to escape his hold, instead leaning his head against the Ice mage’s chest.
“It’s okay,” Natsu whispered, his voice choked as his hands came up to grip at the material of Gray’s shirt, a shudder wracking him before he lifted his head to meet Gray’s gaze. “You can do it. You can keep your p-promise.” It took the Ice mage a long moment to comprehend what the Dragon-slayer was telling him, what he was giving him permission to do and something shattered in his chest at the sight of the calm acceptance in Natsu’s eyes. The idiot honestly thought he could go through with it, that he could kill one of his family…his teammate…the man he loved. Gray’s fingers tightened on Natsu’s shoulders, so tightly that he was probably leaving bruises, but the Dragon-slayer gave no sign of discomfort or wanting to escape, and the Ice mage’s stomach clenched as he realised the idiot was waiting for him to act.
That he was waiting for him to keep his promise.
Gray knew from long experience that actions had always meant more than words to Natsu, something that usually drove him up the wall, but which right at this moment was a relief because he didn’t have the words. Hell, he wasn’t even sure he had the voice to say what needed to be said, a painful lump having filled his throat. Instead he gathered his courage and years of pent up feelings, hesitating for the barest moment before leaning in, brushing his lips against Natsu’s forehead before moving lower. He heard the Fire mage’s breath catch, but he didn’t dare look, instead focusing on trailing butterfly kisses down Natsu’s cheeks and nose, pausing to kiss away tears that neither of them had noticed beginning to fall, before finally claiming the Dragon-slayer’s lips. His legs quivering with relief when he felt Natsu leaning into the kiss, his response shy and tentative to start with, but growing in confidence as Gray moved his hands from the Fire mage’s shoulders and drew him into a tight hug, fingers curling against the back that had stood between him and danger more times than he cared to count.
When they pulled back, they remained tightly pressed together, Natsu burying his face once more into the Ice mage’s shoulder to hide his blush, whilst Gray rested his head against Natsu’s. His heart was pounding in his chest, his lips tingling, and despite everything going on around them he was smiling because Natsu hadn’t pushed him away and had actually responded and it was that finally allowed him to find his voice.
“I love you…” He felt the jolt of surprise that went through Natsu a second before the Dragon-slayer pulled back to peer at him, muted happiness in the olive eyes, and a tiny half smile playing on his lips and whilst it was a far cry from his usual grin at the moment it was more than enough for Gray.
“I…” Natsu began but then paused, his gaze darting across to where Zeref was stood. He wanted to return the words. Words that he had long since accepted that he would never be able to say, first out of fear and later because of who or rather what he was, but how could he? It was clear that Gray had no intention of going through with his promise to Silver, the emotions behind those kisses had told him that. But that didn’t mean that it wasn’t going to happen, after all surely not even Gray could put him above all their friends…there family…and even if it wasn’t Gray that ended it, there was no guarantee that this war wasn’t going to tear them apart and he found himself shaking his head helplessly. I can’t say it…He turned apologetic eyes back towards the Ice mage, hoping that he would understand.
“It’s okay,” Gray assured him as he caught the silent apology and the pleading look. If he was honest he really did want to hear the words, but he could understand why the Dragon-slayer couldn’t say them right now. And when he had first summoned up the courage to make his confession, he still hadn’t dared let himself believe he would get a positive response, so the promise of one in the future…if they survived this…was more than enough for now. A relieved expression passed over the Dragon-slayer’s face before he abruptly tensed in his arms, olive eyes widening with horror and Gray felt the warm feelings dissipating as the Dragon-slayer whimpered suddenly. “Natsu? Natsu what is it?”
“G-Gray…” Natsu was clutching at him now, shaking his head wildly as his expression slowly contorted with pain. “No…” His voice cracked as he suddenly lurched back with a shriek, and Gray could only watch in horror as the Dragon-slayer fell to his knees, watching as Natsu scratched frantically at his arms where rust-coloured scales were beginning to emerge through his skin. It was only when Natsu cried out again, his hands flying to his head where curved horns were slowly forcing their way out, blood staining his hair as he writhed that it dawned on the Ice mage what was happening.
“STOP!” He shouted, whirling to face Zeref and seeing that just as he had expected the older mage had opened the book and his stomach lurched. E.N.D…Natsu was becoming the demon…His gaze darted back to Natsu as the Fire mage let out another whimper, and his hands clenched at his side. I can’t kill him…his devil magic was rising to the surface, the marks spreading up his arms, but it wasn’t the demon emerging in front of him that was his target. Instead his eyes blazed as he turned to face the dark wizard, his lips pulled back in a snarl that Natsu would’ve been proud of. “Give him back to me,” he demanded, trying not to flinch as Natsu fell forward, clawing wildly at the floor as wings began to push through the skin of his back, the pained whimpers twisting into a gargled scream that had Gray’s heart twisting painfully in his chest. Natsu, please hold on…
“Why?”
“Because he’s mine,” Gray growled, hating the smirk that met his words and he tensed as the crimson eyes darted across to Natsu whose shrieks and whimpers were slowing dying away, and the Ice mage swallowed. He had no idea of what to expect from the demon. Would Natsu have any control? Would he remember who Gray was? There was no way he could fight Natsu properly, no matter what he became…but the thought of trying to fight of the demon known to be Zeref’s strongest, whilst dealing with Zeref, terrified him…this wasn’t a battle he could afford to lose, but it wasn’t one that he was sure that he could win. But I have too…His gaze flickered to Natsu…to E.N.D…who had gone completely still, save for the harsh breathing filling the air and he straightened. “I won’t let you have him.”
It had been a long time since he’d fought purely as a Devil-slayer, and he shuddered slightly at the feel of the magic creeping up his arm as he charged towards Zeref. He could feel his magic hungering to fight a demon, could feel it reaching out towards Natsu, but he sternly smothered it. I won’t fight Natsu! He didn’t miss the irony of that thought after all those years of brawling, all his promises to bring down E.N.D. but now that the moment had come, those fights were the furthest thing from his thoughts. Instead, all he could see and think about was Natsu. The idiot who had somehow become the centre of his world, who had captured his heart without meaning to and who had returned his kiss and he snarled as he lunged at Zeref.
Apparently Zeref had deemed him enough of a threat to pay attention to as the man turned to meet his attack, and he found himself unable to even check on what was happening to Natsu, barely able to block the dark magic let alone launch a counter-attack of his own.
I have to win…I can’t win…
**
He was aware that he was being pushed back, and he couldn’t help but wish desperately for the rest of the guild to arrive. But he knew that they were caught up in the fights around the city, it was why he had been the only free to chase after the Natsu when the idiot had taken off to seek out Zeref on his own once more, still it couldn’t quell the hope, the silent scream for help ringing through his thoughts. We need help…I need help. They had both grown so much over recent years, but as he fell back, feeling blood trickling from a fresh gash on his side, he had a feeling that even if they’d both been able to fight side by side as they had against Mard Greer it wouldn’t have been enough. He’s too strong…Despair, grief that he wouldn’t be able to bring Natsu back and fear of what would happen to the Fire mage if he failed warred for control as his knees gave beneath him, and he found himself being pressed against the ground, his magic barely responding to him now.
He blinked when the attacks paused a couple of minutes later, his ice shattering as the last of his magic faltered and he weakly lifted his head, swallowing as he took in the magic gathering around Zeref’s hand. There was no way he could dodge. No way he could block an attack of the magnitude, and he closed his eyes as he saw the spell release. I’m so sorry Natsu…However, the pain he had expected never came, instead a feral cry that had him shivering rang out and his eyes flew open as he sensed movement above him, and his mouth fell open as he found E.N.D…Natsu looming over him, the demon’s heaving back the only sign that he had just taken that attack, until the Ice mage caught sight of the blood trickling down Natsu’s leg.
“Natsu…”
“You…said…” Natsu’s voice was rough and broken, but it was still undeniably the Dragon-slayer and Gray swallowed hard as he tilted his head to look at him. The olive that he loved so much had been replaced by a deep amber, but the eyes were nothing like the wild ones he had been expecting, there was humanity in them, a faint echo of Natsu, that brought tears to his eyes. He’s still in there… The Ice mage risked a quick glance towards Zeref, but it was clear that the older man was just as surprised as he was, if the widened crimson eyes were any indicator and Gray’s attention snapped back to Natsu, as the demon asked softly. “I’m…yours?”
“Yeah…” Gray’s voice was just as soft, stunned that Natsu had been able to pay attention to his words considering the amount of pain he had been in at that point, shaking his head for a moment. Would he ever learn not to be surprised by Natsu? Slowly he eased himself into a sitting position, hissing as the movement pulled on his injuries, but never once breaking eye contact with Natsu as he added softly. “You’re mine…You’re mine!” His voice rose at the last bit, wanting to make sure that there was no doubt about what he was saying, about his feelings, and he was rewarded by the sight of Natsu’s lips quirking into a small smile.
“I want…” Natsu began hesitantly, amber eyes flickering slightly with an emotion that Gray couldn’t quite identify, before he added softly. “You to kiss me like that again…”
“Natsu…” Gray breathed, hope creeping in through the doubt that had overcome him a moment before, pride and love warring for control. He’s fighting this. He’s not letting E.N.D. win… However, fear lanced through him a moment later as Natsu charged forwards with a growl, and he finally dawned on him that what he had seen in the Fire mage’s eyes was a silent goodbye. “No!!” His voice cracked as he watched flames engulfing Natsu, and seconds later spreading to devour Zeref as the demon latched onto the dark mage with a vicious growl that resonated through the air as the pair disappeared within the flames. “NATSU!!”
The fire seemed to burn forever, although it had been only a few minutes, and by the time the flames began to fade away into a cloud of dancing sparks the Ice mage had managed to stagger to his feet. He didn’t want to look. He didn’t want to see Natsu or be faced with the loss that he was sure must be looming over him, his vision already blurring with tears at the mere thought of it. Natsu, you idiot…why? All thoughts of hiding from the truth, from staving of the loss for as long as possible disappeared completely as he heard a broken voice calling his name, and his head shot up as swiped a hand across his eyes to clear his vision.
“Gray...”
“Natsu!” He cried, finally spotting the figure slumped in the middle of the destruction that the flames had wrought, and he was already moving forwards when the Fire-mage lifting his head slightly. “Natsu!” Gray broke into a stumbling run, forgetting his own pain and paying no mind to the fact that there was no sign of Zeref…that Natsu had just killed for him…instead falling onto his knees beside the demon, fresh tears trickling down his cheeks as he took in the burns and wounds now covering the Natsu’s body. But all that mattered right then was that his chest was still rising and falling, and that amber eyes had slowly risen to meet his gaze, and Gray let out a soft noise that was half a laugh and half a sob as he hesitantly reached out to brush his fingers against Natsu’s cheek. “You’re alive…”
“Gray…I...”
“Natsu,” Gray’s voice was soft as he cut him off, reaching up to cusp the demon’s face, not flinching away from the feel of scales beneath his fingers and instead stroking them softly. He didn’t care that at the moment this was E.N.D. All he could see was Natsu, the same Natsu he had fallen in love with, the Natsu who had managed to fight back against his demonic self for his sake, who had just saved them all. “You’re mine,” he whispered, brushing fingers tenderly across the scales to remove tears that were falling in response to his words. “You’re still my Natsu. You’re still the Natsu that I love,” he added, leaning in a pressing tender kisses to both cheeks, not caring that there was blood under his lips, just remembering Natsu’s request from earlier.
“Gray…” Natsu met his gaze for a moment, before shaking his head helplessly, his eyes drifting shut as he realised that he couldn’t put what he was feeling into words.
“I love you,” Gray repeated softly, not needing to hear the words returned right now, and instead moving down to capture Natsu’s lips once more, deepening the kiss as he tried to pour every bit of his feelings for the Fire mage into that kiss. His hands slowly shifting, as he sank his fingers into pink hair, pulling Natsu closer as he closed his eyes. Come back Natsu... It took a couple of minutes, but just as he felt the Fire mage nervously beginning to respond to the kiss, he felt the scales that had been pressing against his fingers beginning to fade away and his eyes shot open, widening as he watched the transformation finally slipping away. And when they separated a few minutes later, and Natsu’s eyes slowly opened, Gray found himself staring into the warm olive that he had first fallen for, and a soft smile spread across his lips as he realised the other teen was fully human again. Leaning in he stole another kiss, before pulling Natsu carefully into a tight hug. “You’re mine.”
“Gray…I love you,” Natsu could feel himself blushing, but he wanted to return the words. He wanted to say the words that he had wanted to say before, but been unable to, and he burrowed his face in the crook of the Ice mage’s neck as he heard Gray’s breath hitch in response. “I love you…I love you…” He was cut off by Gray’s arms tightening around him, and a tiny smile appeared as he caught how red the Ice mage’s ears had turned in response to his words and with a contented sigh he pressed closer, leaning into Gray’s chest. There was still a lot to do, they needed to make sure their friends were alright, let the others know about Zeref and he knew that they both needed to see a healer sooner or later, but for now he was already in the only place he wanted to be, and he let his eyes close as the Ice mage’s scent washed over him.
I love you, I’m yours…