Chapter Text
“Agent Romanoff, welcome back.” The voice in her ear greeted her as soon as she stepped out of the plane, making her smile.
“Commander Hill.” She responded, gesturing for Banner to follow her as she walked towards the entrance. “Missed me that much that you couldn’t wait until I was downstairs?” Natasha asked with a sultry voice, smirking.
There was a pause on the other side, and she could almost see the raised eyebrow and the apparent blank face. Apparent because Natasha knew that the corners of her lips would be twitching up - Maria was always amused by her ridiculous attempts at flirting with her. Oh, Natasha knew she could make basically any man or woman fall for her in a sitting with the right words, right body language, right touch.
That wasn’t what she was after with Maria Hill, though. She actually liked the other woman’s company; her wit, humor, intelligence, directness and often sharp sarcastic quips made Natasha feel drawn to her ever since joining SHIELD. And as much as everyone seemed to think otherwise, the Black Widow knew that the Commander actually enjoyed her presence. Sure, most of the times she’d answer Natasha’s flirtatious phrases and barbs with either a blank face or a raised eyebrow.
However, whenever the two of them were alone, they’d actually engage in conversation. Never anything too personal, – not like with Clint – but Natasha would frequently stop by her office and her comfortable couch when she had down time, and they’d trade anecdotes over what’d happened on the days or weeks since they’d last saw each other. It was nice. And her terrible flirting lines often amused Maria, so Natasha kept saying them. Who knows, maybe one day it’d pay off.
“Agent Coulson and Steve Rogers are inbound. If you could greet them and ask Coulson to come to the bridge, we’ll start the face-trace soon.” Maria said, voice even.
“So professional…” Natasha started, looking around to see a quinjet approaching. “Anything else I can do for you, Commander?” She asks, stressing the use of her title.
A soft, low chuckle sounded on the other side and Natasha’s smile widened, making Bruce look confused at her.
“Try and make sure that the new guys don’t fall off the edge?” There was definitely amusement coming through her voice this time. Natasha considered that a win.
“Aye, aye, ma’am.” She quipped before moving towards the jet that had just landed.
----
Making sure the two had entered the room behind her, Natasha made a beeline to Maria.
“They’re both safe and sound in here, Commander.” She said, not bothering to hide the smirk on her lips.
Not taking her eyes off her people and screens, Maria answered her.
“And SHIELD is happy to know that it can count on your abilities to keep special guests from plummeting to their deaths, Romanoff.”
Natasha’s smirk grew larger. If she didn’t know better, she’d say she was being flirted with back.
“Happy to be of service, ma’am.” She answered, biting her lower lip and waggling her eyebrow as Maria finally turned to look at her. A deep sense of satisfaction settled inside her when she saw the taller woman’s lips forming a subtle smile. Instead of answering her, though, she moved back to her screens, calling out numbers to Fury.
----
“Agent Romanoff.” A familiar voice called for her right before she could enter the hanger.
“Seeing me off as well? Hill, a girl could get used to this.” She said, with a wink.
The taller woman stopped barely one step away from her, allowing a small smile to appear on her face before it was replaced by a worried gaze. This was new. Sure, she’d looked and sounded worried sometimes, when she and Clint were on a mission or when Natasha would come back a little more bruised than she’d like, but she’d never… not tried to hide it before.
Before Natasha could ask her what was wrong, Maria placed a hand on her arm and directed her a little away from the exit, looking around as if to make sure no one would hear them. The hand didn’t leave her arm after they stopped walking, and Hill stepped closer – her height making Natasha have to look slightly up to keep eye contact.
This was definitely new.
“What’s wrong?” She asked, frowning at the taller woman.
“Nothing exactly, just… the Captain is going with you, so maybe let him take care of the face to face fight with the evil god?” Maria proposed, not quite meeting her eyes.
Natasha’s frown intensified.
“You want me to stand down?”
“It’s not about your abilities.” Maria was quick to say, and at another moment Natasha would have been impressed and actually charmed at how fast the other woman gauged where her mind had gone to. “I know better than most the extent of your skills. I did write your dossier.” She completed wryly.
“Why, then?”
“So far everyone Loki turned was human. Just humans. No super serum injected in their bodies. I… we can’t lose you. Clint’s already been compromised.” Maria said, blue eyes finally meeting hers.
“Oh? Even if I’m just a human?” Natasha quipped, noticing the other’s slip but not exactly sure if she should mention it now.
“You’re not ‘just’ anything, Natasha.” Maria whispered, maintaining eye contact, and Natasha held her breath when she heard her name spoken like that - with a soft, pleading tone.
A beat passed. The hand on her arm squeezed slightly before dropping. She immediately missed the warmth it provided.
“Also, the quinjet you’re taking has a submachine gun attached to it under the command of the pilot, so...” The commander continued, seeming embarrassed for what she’d said before. Natasha smiled. She needed to go, so she could let the other woman off for now. She’d make sure to bring it up again later though.
“You say the sweetest things.” She whispered in a teasing tone, making Maria chuckle. Taking one step back and crossing her arms in front of her SHIELD uniform, the taller woman shook her head.
“Go, before they leave without you.” She said, drily.
Giving the woman one last smirk, Natasha turned around and started making her way towards the exit.
“Oh, and Romanoff?” Maria’s voice stopped her from opening the door. “Be careful.”
“My, my, Commander, I’m gonna start to think you do actually care about me.” She threw a wink along with her words before finally walking out, a soft smile on her lips. Maybe all the horrible flirting was working, after all. Or maybe it was just all the time they spent together. Feeling a little happier and warmer on the inside, Natasha entered the jet and headed towards the pilot chair. She was definitely bringing the whole ‘not just anything’ when she had a chance.
----
They all reconvened at the table by the bridge as soon as Loki was put away. As she went to sit down and open the video camera from the cage, she chanced a glance in Maria’s direction. Their eyes met briefly and Nat gave her a quick smile, noticing tense shoulders relaxing a fraction before standing at attention once more.
Huh, maybe she actually did care about her.
Fury’s voice started coming through the screen and Natasha turned her attention to the situation at hand, knowing that Maria would do the same.
With each word spoken, she could feel her companions getting tenser, Fury’s quip at the end not enough to diffuse it completely. She saw Maria make her way closer to the table as the Captain asked Thor about his brother’s plans. Blue eyes focused and calculating. It was quite the sight. Natasha turned back to Steve as he spoke again.
Mentioning the spell that took Sevic and Clint had her looking back towards Maria, only to find her eyes already on her. There was nothing expressive or different on her face, but the mere fact that she was looking at Natasha made warmth spread through her chest. That look was as effective for providing comfort as any contact could have been. Not that she’d not have liked Maria’s hand on her arm again. She might have to make that happen soon.
She tuned back into the conversation when Thor defended Loki.
“He killed 80 people in two days.” She told him coldly.
A pause.
“He’s adopted.” He answered.
Natasha saw Maria raise an eyebrow at that, clearly amused despite herself. New voices approached and everyone turned to look at Stark as he started explaining what Banner had just asked. Natasha had to suppress a smile at the look on Maria’s face as Tony talked.
The flippant way Stark dealt with every single thing always sort of got on Natasha’s nerves, even if it often amused her too. Right now though, with everything going on, amusement was the last thing on her mind.
Apparently, she was not the only one; out the corner of her eyes, she could see Hill biting her lip to stop from commenting or telling the man to stop trying to issue orders around the bridge.
“How does Fury even see these?”
“He turns.” Maria’s deadpanned response made her lips tug upwards. Everyone has a breaking point.
Natasha’s attention to Stark putting some kind of device on one of the panels breaks as Maria asks the questions that had been playing on her mind.
“When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?” She asks, sounding almost bored.
“Last night.”
Natasha was pretty sure Maria would very much have liked to deck the playboy right now. Couldn’t exactly blame her.
Watching the two geniuses talk was getting annoying. Fast. Natasha placed both her elbows on the table in front of her, supporting her chin as Fury walked in. As annoying as it was to admit (privately) that she didn’t understand exactly what they were saying, she could get the gist – and she was very interested in the answer to Fury’s question. How the fuck had they turned Clint?
“Monkeys? I do not understand.”
“I do. I understood that reference.”
The captain sounded so proud of himself for that that, despite it all, Natasha had to actually bit her lip to stop herself from laughing. She looked away, placing her forehead on her joined hands, eyes glancing over to Maria. The tension on her jaw told her that the other woman was suffering similar difficulties in reigning in her amusement (or exasperation) at their present situation. A second later, blue eyes found green and Natasha lost the fight, allowing herself to smile a bit at the idiots they were working with. She raised an eyebrow as if to say “is this was we have to deal with”.
A twitch of lips, eyes rolling upwards and a slight shake of head were her answers. If that didn’t mean “I know right”, then Natasha didn’t know what could.
She smirked to herself, quite pleased, as Maria turned to talk to Fury. Before she could dwell too much on her having managed to get an amused reaction from Maria though, a sinking feeling dropped to her stomach. She had no one to tell this to. No one to plan the next stage of her year-long trek to get Commander Hill to open up to her. Barton had been compromised. She was finally making progress on feelings and wishes about Fury’s right hand, that the bird boy had made her aware of in the first place, and he went and got himself temporarily brainwashed. She shook her head angrily, looking back at the camera that showed Loki in his cell. She needed her friend back, and she was gonna do anything she could to get there.
----
“Is this love, Agent Romanoff?” Loki asked her.
She was pretty sure he didn’t mean fraternal love. Why was it that they always assumed it was about romantic love? Heck, she wasn’t even sure that she was actually capable of the fraternal kind, let alone… her thoughts were interrupted by a flash of a tall, no nonsensical, brunette with eyes bluer than the sky. She squeezed her own arms tight, trying to get a grip.
“Love is for children. I owe him a debt.”
A lot of talk. Some stings. São Paulo was not a place she liked to revisit.
Monster. She brought it. Banner.
“Thank you for your cooperation.”
The Hulk was a danger. A huge danger. She should not have agreed to this. As soon as she was out of the door she power walked in the direction of the lab. The whole ship was in danger right now. Every single life.
Maria.
She kicked her step, entering just behind Thor.
----
“This is agent Romanoff. I copy.” She said, willing herself to move. The quickest way to save everyone now was to stop Barton. She needed to get to him.
“Natasha.” The voice was not Fury.
Hill.
She was alive.
Good.
“I’ll inform when it’s done.” She said, in lieu of anything else. This was hardly the place to say anything else, anyway. She had a friend to rescue.
--
Maybe he didn’t need the last punch. Better safe than sorry, though. She smiled. He called her Natasha. She could say the punch was for all the teasing she had had to suffer since he caught on that her flirting with Hill was more than just that. That she actually wanted something with the other woman, even if Natasha kept denying it.
“This is Agent Romanoff. Barton’s taken care of.” She said.
“Taken care of?” It was Maria that replied, voice tense.
Natasha’s smile turned soft at that. The other woman knew Clint was her best friend. She was most likely worrying she had had to put him down for good.
“He should be waking up himself with a massive headache soon.” She said simply.
“Roger that.” There was a pause. “Good work, agent Romanoff.” Came softly after, breathy, as if the speaker was relieved. Natasha closed her eyes, taking in the moment and the warmth spreading through her chest, settling on her heart.
Not a couple of minutes later, though, as other agents arrived to take Clint away, coldness surrounded her.
“Agent Coulson is down.”
The words kept ringing on her ear.
Natasha hadn’t lost her best friend. Maria had lost hers.
She blinked back the prickling sensation behind her eyes. She had no idea how to comfort her. What could she say? What could she do? Nothing. She wasn’t good at this. She wasn’t good with feelings. She wasn’t even sure how she herself felt. Coulson was her handler and he was a nice guy. He’d always been there for her and Clint and it’d always felt more than just a job. Like he actually cared.
Maria’s last words came back to her. Good work. They weren’t exactly comfort words and yet Natasha had felt comforted. Looking towards where they were taking Clint, she quickly made her way opposite of it, reaching the control room in record time. Looking around, she saw her. Away from everyone, hands behind her back and looking outside. The reflection from the windows showed a blank expression. That is, a blank expression to anyone who was not Natasha Romanoff.
Silently, the assassin made her way towards Maria, stopping just to her right, left arm hanging limp from her side.
Maria didn’t turn to acknowledge her.
“I’m sorry.” Natasha said finally. She needed to go back to Clint, needed to help him through the remains of the mind control when he woke up, but she couldn’t just leave without saying anything.
“It doesn’t add up.” Maria’s response came out hollow and broken. “He…” She started, but couldn’t seem to finish. Taking a deep breath, her hands left her back to settle by her hips, face turning down to hide the tears that started forming on her eyes.
“It never does…” Natasha said, and almost slapped herself when Maria turned to look at her. Her eyes showed a vulnerability that she had never seen before in the commander. Instead, she slowly reached her left hand towards Maria’s right, pulling it away from her hip and intertwining their fingers.
“I’m sorry, Maria.” She whispered, and the blue eyes that had just gone down to look at their joined hands snapped up to meet her gaze once more. She squeezed her hand, never breaking eye contact, trying to transmit without words that she was there for her. That she was not alone.
Maria didn’t respond. Instead, she looked back out of the windows, but her grip around Natasha’s hand tightened a little, and her shoulders seemed to relax slightly. Natasha didn’t know if it was the contact or the use of her name, but she was glad she was apparently helping, somehow.
“How’s Clint?” She asked.
Natasha bit her lip before responding, “He’s at medical. I need to meet him before he wakes up, I just wanted to…” see you first, she trailed off, a faint heat raising up her cheeks at the unfinished sentence.
Maria looked at her again then, the small smile gracing her lips doing wonders to relax the Russian (even if it made the blush intensify).
“Thank you.”
----
“He didn’t. I’ve been compromised.” She finally said.
“What do you mean?” Clint asked, and Natasha just stared at him till it dawned. “But… you always said that you were just…” He trailed off as she looked away. He was just looking for confirmation; she knew that he knew.
Yes, she’d always said it was just for fun. It was just to tease the commander cause she needed to relax. She did, but that’s not why Natasha flirted with her and-
“I knew it.” Clint said, and Natasha really didn’t know if she wanted to smile – relief that he sounded like himself again – or deck him for going back to being a pain in the ass. She settled for a glare, which he completely ignored. “Compromised, huh?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I held her hand.” The snort by her side earned her partner a slap on the shoulder and another glare.
Hawkeye raised his hands and went back to being serious.
“So you decided to go to war, then?”
“She’s his fucking second in command, Clint. She’s right in the middle of it and...” Natasha trailed off. Clint’s hand on hers giving her the strength to continue. “I got red in my ledger. I would like to wipe it out.”
“For her?”
“For me.” She answered, looking at the wall across from her. “For me to be a better person.”
“A better person so you don’t feel guilty for being with her?” He asked and before she could get mad at him she saw a small smirk on his face. She narrowed her eyes.
“I hate you.”
----
The radio crackled to life a few minutes after they left the Hellicarrier.
“Agent Barton?” Maria’s voice came through, making Natasha squeeze the hand support of her seat tighter. She had wanted to see her before they left, but there was no time.
Not to mention she’d probably have done something stupid had she seen her before jumping on a possible suicide mission.
Like a kiss. Just to know what she tasted like. What she felt like.
Fuck, she should have gone to see her.
“Agent Hill! It’s good to hear your voice!” Clint said, a grin on his lips as he glanced at Nat. She glared at him, feeling the confused look on the captain’s face behind them.
“Likewise, agent. Am I right to assume Steve Rogers and Agent Romanoff are with you?” The woman asked, and Natasha could not decide on what her tone of voice represented.
“Yep.” Was his simple answer, and she had to fight back a grin as she heard a small sigh from the other side. It sounded more exasperated than upset. “I’m really sorry none of us could stop by to say goodbye ma’am, but we were in a bit of a hurry.” He said, looking at Natasha with a raised eyebrow, and she squeezed her seat harder.
“Clint.” She hissed, risking a glance back towards Steve behind them. He looked utterly confused and Natasha felt her cheeks begin to heat up.
“I see.”The voice said. The three people inside the quinjet staring at the communicators panel in silence, Natasha fidgeting with her armrest. “Barton, Rogers.” She called after what seemed like too long a time.
“Ma’am?” Steve asked.
“Set the jet to automatic and go to the back.” The three of them just continued to stare at the panel, Natasha’s heart beating faster. “That’s an order, gentleman. Now.” Her voice brooked no argument, and Natasha was quite amused to notice that Clint jumped on his seat at the tone and hurried to comply.
As soon as the other two were as far back as possible, Natasha turned to the console, leaning in closer to at least try to keep the conversation private.
“As alone as we can be right now. How can I help you, commander?” She asked, trying to go for levity, but with how her heart was pounding in her chest and ears, she wasn’t sure she succeeded.
“Nat.” The shortened version of her name made her heart stumble. They were doing this. Over a com and with Hawkeye and Captain America in the back, probably listening to every word they were saying. While they were probably heading for their deaths.
“Maria?” She answered.
“I’ve…” She heard the clearing of a throat on the other side before she continued. “I never been a big fan of cooking, but I’ve always been told that I can make a great lasagna.” She continued, sounding a bit hurried, and Natasha would bet anything that her cheeks would be flaming red.
A smile spread through her face and Natasha closed her eyes.
“Red sauce?”
“Red and white.” Came the soft reply and now Natasha pictured a soft smile on the other woman’s face.
“Drinks?”
“Red wine, though I’ll make sure to have some vodka around if you want.”
Her smile grew.
“Dessert?”
There was silence for a few seconds before the reply came, lower than the rest of the conversation.
“I think we can come up with something on the fly.”
Natasha’s smile turned into a full blown grin, and she just knew that Maria had the same expression.
“Sounds like a date to me.” She drawled after she was sure her voice was under control.
“Good. Then come back alive.” Maria said, and if her voice sounded a little broken by the last word, Natasha was not going to call her out on it.
“Is that an order?”
“It is, agent.”
“Aye aye, commander.” She said, and the communication was promptly cut off. “Come back, you two.” She called out to the back. As the two approached, the red on the captain’s face and the shit-eating grin on Clint’s let her know they’d heard everything.
“Shut and buckle up. We’ve got a world to save.”
----
“Clint.” She said, as soon as she closes the door after saying goodbye to the rest of the Avengers, pulling out her phone.
“Yes?”
One message from M. Hill. She opened it.
“I was wondering if you could drop me off somewhere?” She asked, smiling.
“Oh?” Clint said, smirk in place and eyebrow raised.
“I have a date to cash on.”