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When she was a kid, when they went out to the playground, or the park, or kindergarten, anywhere, sooner or later someone would call her ‘Sunshine’. So full of joy, upbeat, brightening up everyone’s day. She’d identified with that. Yellow and orange. Bright and happy. Warm. Eternal fire. That was her.
Now she heard the kids running through the nearby grove laughing with their cute little voices and all it did was annoy her. She was starting to hate the sun. Too bright, too warm, too many people making too much noise. All she wanted was peace. Not have people knocking at her door asking if she was okay. If they could come in. If she wanted something to eat. Every day. Over and over.
She tried to see it as a nice gesture but after the fifth time it started being bothersome, after the tenth it was nothing but and after the fifteenth she stopped responding. She’d started locking the door to her room when saying the same word again and again had gotten too exhausting. When they’d started ignoring it and came in anyway. When they’d started lecturing her. Telling her how she couldn’t let herself get put down by this. That this wasn’t the end. All that crap.
All she wanted was peace. Couldn’t they accept that? Couldn’t they just leave her alone?
When the sun finally set and the house quieted down she would sneak downstairs, grab a little food from the fridge - or sometimes just grab a bottle instead - and sit outside. Sometimes on the stairs, sometimes on the swing, and stare up at the moon or past the cliff out onto the ocean, cut across by silver streaks. So vaguely reminiscent of a swift movement as they stretched and bent and realigned.
Enjoying the silence she’d been longing for all day. The only noise made by the wind and the waves. Rhythmic as a breath. It was the only time these days when she felt like she could really fill her lungs. Just for a moment she felt okay. And on some days, for a few seconds, she forgot. Forgot what happened. Forgot how Weiss had been whisked away. Forgot that Blake had left them. Left her. Right after her arm…
But then some stray thought, or maybe a little gust of wind that moved her sleeve would have her remember everything anew. That moment, that split second, just a blink. It had happened so fast.
“Blake! Blake! Where are you?”
She heard her yelp and there through the window she saw him standing over her, stabbing her as she lay on the ground.
“Get away from her!”
All he did was smirk. Like he was satisfied with what he’d done.
That’s it! Nobody hurts her teammates! Nobody hurts her partner! Nobody hurts her friends and gets away with it!
She had her fire engulf her like so many times before, that familiar sensation of near unbound power.
She would beat the crap out of him! She would make him pay for hurting Blake!
Not even a second… it had happened so fast.
There she’d be, remembering it all. And she’d find herself staring at her lap where only one hand was clenched in a fist. Somewhere between fury and resignation.
At least Blake was okay. Nobody knew where she was but she got away from that madman and that was the most important thing. She was save. She was save. She was save... She left. Left her lying there bleeding on the floor. Left her there because she had somewhere better to be. Someone better to find. Left her there because she wasn’t good enough. Because she wasn’t strong enough. Because if she couldn’t even protect herself, then how could she protect her partner.
Weiss was back home in cold and luxurious Atlas. Probably enjoying a bubble bath somewhere in the Schnee family’s palace. Probably annoyed at her servants bringing the wrong kind of drink. Yang couldn’t really be angry about her leaving though. Her father had sent the ship. Weiss hadn’t really seemed happy about it, she didn’t really have a choice though. But the result was the same. She’d left to be somewhere better.
Ruby was traveling with the remaining rest of JNPR. Doing whatever. Searching for something or another. She hadn’t told her what she was up to. Instead she’d hid it from her as much as she could. Probably thought it would keep her from feeling hurt but really what it did was prove just how useless Yang was to them now. Beaten and broken. With one arm gone. It made her less than half a huntress. Without her arms she was nothing. With just one she wouldn’t stand a minute against a grimm. She’d be useless on a mission. She’d be a liability, a burden, nothing else. So of course Ruby snuck out and didn’t tell her anything.
They’d all left her. But at least they were all okay.
That was how she spent her time now. Trying to convince herself that this was for the better. Or at least that there was some good in this situation. Hour after hour, day after day… just trying to lie to herself as best she could.
She’d sit out there for hours. Thinking, trying not to think. Remembering and trying not to. Replaying the same memories over and over again. Examining every detail she had caught, every glance, every breath, every pause, every word. For hours, sometimes until it got brighter again.
And sometimes when she realized that she’d sit a little longer, waiting for the first rays of sunlight to creep above the horizon. Blinding her with their incessant yelling of happiness and good times.
She’d get up and sneak back into her room, locking the door behind her.
No, that wasn’t her anymore. That Sunshine? She was in the past...