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No matter how comfortable Chris had grown with Kanade and Maria, she was more relaxed when they weren’t home. She could never quell the need to know where they were at all times, hyper-aware to the presence of people who were out of sight. Keeping them by her side was the best alternative to them not being home.
Tsubasa was the only person that her paranoia ignored, whether she was right next to her or rooms away. That trust reserved only for her made Chris’s life bearable in the present. The security that surpassed her baseless fear of the others she lived with provided a break from exhausted nerves.
Today was different. The atmosphere was tense, and Chris couldn’t calm herself. She fidgeted, paced when she was still restless, unable to define the cause. Tsubasa herself seemed to feel it too, moving from room to room without purpose.
At first, Chris planned to ask her if she knew what was wrong; she changed her mind and retreated from Tsubasa’s presence. The air around her was thick and dizzying, like opening the window of a cool room and allowing the summer humidity in. Whatever the cause, Tsubasa was the source.
“Hey.” Chris had regathered her courage to approach Tsubasa and called for her attention. The intense stare she received almost sent her back into hiding, but she held her ground. “The others are still out?”
Tsubasa’s response was a deep, reverberating growl.
“Ah….” Chris wrung her hands and considered listening to her gut instinct to leave. She took a small step backwards.
Tsubasa lowered her head and sighed. “Sorry. I don’t know when they’re coming back.”
“Mm.” Chris watched Tsubasa glare a hole into the floor, her leg bouncing and shaking the couch. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Tsubasa said through gritted teeth.
Chris trusted Tsubasa. She lived a constant battle with her own wary subconscious to believe everything Tsubasa told her. Yet this, she allowed herself to doubt. “Are you sure?”
Tsubasa buried her face into her hand. “Yes. I’m just waiting for Kanade to return to help.”
A twinge of annoyance and jealousy shot through Chris. “What can Kanade do that I can’t?” Unless Tsubasa needed her to reach a high shelf with her feet on the floor or interact with strangers, Kanade was no better than her.
Tsubasa grumbled again, the edge taken off her hostility. “I entered my heat cycle overnight and she left before taking care of it.”
“Ah,” was all Chris could say. The answer seemed obvious after Tsubasa said it, indirectly explaining the heavy air and her cagey demeanor. Chris folded her arms and scowled. “You could’ve asked me.”
Tsubasa turned back to Chris, confusion taking over her expression. Chris shrunk under her scrutiny and crossed her arms tighter. Insecurity pushed away logic, the sensible reason that she wasn’t asked because and Tsubasa had never gone so far. But Tsubasa had helped her so much, and she could never return that kindness if she was never given a chance. Chris didn’t need to be protected from making her own decisions, and she wanted to help – it was hard to not want to, watching Tsubasa unable to keep her desperation hidden – if Tsubasa was willing to let her.
Speaking as if her answer was obvious, Tsubasa said, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You haven’t hurt me before.” Chris kept her eyes from drifting towards her claws. “I’m not as fragile as you’re always acting.”
Chris knew what Tsubasa was thinking about when her face took on skepticism. Their first encounter, Chris captured and sold, looking at a potential lifetime as a possession had Tsubasa not come across the group she was with. Their need for Tsubasa’s humans to fix the situation other humans had put Chris in. And then the months that followed before Chris would let down her misdirection glamor around Kanade and Maria.
“If you hurt me, I would tell you,” Chris said. Tsubasa ran her tongue over her lips and stared down at her own hand, ending in claw-tipped fingers.
Again, Chris was sure that she and Tsubasa were thinking the same thing: the risks that accompanied Tsubasa’s physical features, and the shallow scrapes and nicks across Chris’s body, acquired by simply standing too close together. For all the accidents, the violence that was Chris’s first impression of Tsubasa as she protected her, she never turned that anger towards her. Under the scales and sharp ends, Tsubasa was gentler than she was giving herself credit for.
Tsubasa looked her up and down, and Chris became too aware of their size difference. If this were about what Tsubasa wanted, Chris would have left her to wait, but she didn’t want to be considered unequal just for her size. Tsubasa’s expression was one Chris had seen before, similar to the unsavory judgement from passing strangers when they saw her with a girl who towered over her, and the desire she’d seen after being taken from her family.
This was different. Tsubasa was different.
With a rumbling sigh of resignation, Tsubasa said, “If I even think you’re hurt, we stop.”
“You don’t have to worry about me so much.” Chris scratched her cheek, recalling Tsubasa’s first promise to her. “You said I was safe, and I am.”
Tsubasa dragged herself to straighten her back, rested her elbows on her knees, and nodded her head towards the hall. “Bedroom.”
Chris’s heart stopped. Tsubasa’s agreement through a single, precise word, the power in her command, sent heat through her whole body, excitement, anticipation, a sudden awareness. Her mouth was dry; she gulped.
She took another step backwards and turned, and behind her, the couch creaked as Tsubasa stood. The walk to the room provided enough time for unease to work its way into her consciousness, but also time to think about her choice. Her heart pounded in her ears, but not too loudly to sort out her thoughts.
The answer was easy to reach, that she had no problems with heading for the bedroom with Tsubasa. With the time for potential regret instead came confidence that this was the right choice.
Tsubasa set a hand on her side as they stood at the foot of the bed and asked, “Are you sure?”
Chris looked up to her, determined, and said, “I told you, it’s fine.”
As soon as she’d said it, Tsubasa picked her up for a kiss, hands at her thighs to support her and pressing their lips together. Chris threw her arms around Tsubasa’s neck as she was thrown off balance, lifted into the air and pulled against her chest. The points of Tsubasa’s teeth brushed against Chris’s tongue and lips, unavoidable when she was this passionate. After a moment to orient herself, Chris met her with as much vigor as she could.
Chris felt herself fall forward and she held on tighter as Tsubasa leaned back, lowering herself onto her back with Chris laying on top. Neither broke the kiss except to draw in breath, returning as soon as they could. Warmth rose to Chris’s face and ears as she tried to flatten herself against Tsubasa, getting as close as she should without physically melting into her.
Tsubasa’s hips bucked, and Chris was bumped into the air, falling an inch to land back on top of her. Before she could settle in against Tsubasa’s chest, Chris was tossed upwards again. She tried to weigh herself down, but Tsubasa’s strength proved too much for Chris to stay flat against her. Tsubasa turned her head away with a reluctant huff, both breaking the kiss and preventing Chris from reinitiating it.
“Off,” Tsubasa said, taking her hands off of Chris to hold the sheets. Something grew stiff against Chris’s thighs.
Chris took her lower lip between her teeth. Tsubasa’s hips jerked again, and Chris closed her mouth so she wouldn’t bite through her lip if Tsubasa was too rough. “I’m not hurt,” she said.
Tsubasa spoke before Chris could defend herself. “Sit upright.”
Chris paused to consider Tsubasa’s compelling words. She pushed herself up and dismounted Tsubasa to sit on the bed next to her, legs crossed, and awaited her next order. Her eyes drifted to the growing bulge between Tsubasa’s legs, and she tore her gaze away when Tsubasa turned.
With a long, fatigued groan, Tsubasa rolled onto her stomach and propped herself up on her elbows to look up at her. Chris looked down in return, feeling even smaller than she was as she locked eyes with those of an apex predator who had what she wanted less than an arm’s reach away. Her palms sweated.
Tsubasa waved a finger in Chris’s direction. “Take that off.”
Chris swallowed again, hard. She reached behind herself to untie her dress, fingers trembling. Tsubasa’s hungry stare both encouraged and intimidated her, drove her to undo the first knot faster, but made her grip clumsier. It fell loose, and Chris moved to slip it down her legs.
Before Chris could ask if that was all, Tsubasa growled, “Everything.” Her hips began rocking, pressing her groin against the mattress as she gave a short, impatient whine.
Chris slipped her thumbs into the waistband of her panties and locked up, willing herself to move but entranced by the sight of Tsubasa holding on to the edge of her restraint with her claws sunk deep into the mattress, and by the rips and holes littering the sheet. A frightening sight, sitting nearly naked in front Tsubasa as she held herself back from taking what she wanted, but Chris didn’t feel she should hesitate when she was willing to offer it. Still, she couldn’t finish undressing.
Tsubasa pressed her forehead into her palm. “Sorry.” Her tongue flicked out across her upper lip. “If it’s too much-”
“’S fine,” Chris said, grounded in Tsubasa’s own pause, the knowledge that Tsubasa could stop herself from going too far. She slid the pair down her legs. “Is- ah!” Chris yelped in surprise, trying to ask if there was anything else Tsubasa needed of her, but received an answer when Tsubasa lunged forward and pushed her face between Chris’s thighs. “Ah-” Chris caught herself as she fell backwards as Tsubasa’s tongue met her.
The mattress squeaked as Tsubasa grinded against it, louder than Chris’s breathing. Louder than the sound of her heart slamming against her ribs, matching its beat with the rhythmic thumping of the bed frame against the wall. Her whole body was hot, but she felt her face grow warmer as her sense of hearing was now bombarded with an inescapable draw to what Tsubasa was doing.
Tsubasa nudged Chris’s legs further apart with her shoulders, and tore a new set of holes in the sheets with both hands. Chris’s elbows wobbled as she tried to support herself under Tsubasa’s tongue, forceful, but soft and warm in direct contrast to hard scales and sharp claws. She collapsed to an elbow and her back arched, an unconscious effort to not crush her wings by falling on them.
With Tsubasa so enthusiastic between her legs, Chris struggled to lift herself, but she didn’t want to ask Tsubasa to stop just so she could move. With one push, she threw herself forward, leaning over Tsubasa’s head and holding onto her shoulders to remain up. There wasn’t much room to move in her position, but she couldn’t fight the urge to move her hips in time with Tsubasa. She took a fistful of Tsubasa’s hair to keep her balance while swaying weakly.
Tsubasa pulled away far too soon, and an embarrassing whimper slipped from Chris’s throat. She threw a hand over her mouth to cover any further noises. “Do you need me to stop?” Tsubasa asked.
Chris shook her head hard enough to make herself dizzy. The sight of Tsubasa looking up at her longingly, clutching the bed to keep her claws off of Chris’s skin, her mouth wet and shining, made Chris lose her remaining breath. Tsubasa’s brow furrowed and she asked instead, “Do you want me to continue?”
As soon as Chris nodded, Tsubasa returned to licking her, and her hand over her mouth muffled a moan of relief. As soon as Chris felt stable enough to hold back any further shameful noises, she held Tsubasa’s shoulder again. Tsubasa’s forehead dug into Chris’s stomach as she pushed her tongue more firmly, maintaining her pace.
Tsubasa’s breath was hot against Chris, coming out in short, harsh bursts as she humped the mattress more fervently, shaking the frame and banging it into the wall. The edge of Chris’s vision faded, and she squeezed her eyes shut as her. Her body was light despite the intense pressure she felt from every direction, from inside, demanding release. Before that feeling was satisfied, Tsubasa stopped again and had already backed away before Chris could ask what was wrong.
“Lay down,” Tsubasa said, voice tight. “On your stomach.”
Chris watched Tsubasa remove herself from where she was settled and collected her thoughts in the wake of unfulfillment. “Down,” Tsubasa repeated, and Chris’s heart skipped. She rolled over as told, an unconscious movement before she even knew she had moved, stretched out to lay flat, quivering from her fingertips to her toes as she waited for Tsubasa’s touch to return.
Her wish was granted when Tsubasa kneeled over her, the mattress dipping at her knees and the hand she planted near Chris’s shoulder. Her opposite hand settled on Chris’s waist, and she said, “Raise your hips up.”
Gathering what control Chris had her limbs, she bent her knees to lift her back end with Tsubasa’s assistance, keeping her face and chest against the mattress. Something hard pressed against her and her hips twitched with the primal instinct to draw it in. She felt Tsubasa gyrate against her, and the hand at her waist moved to Chris’s own hand. Taking it into hers, Tsubasa led Chris to reach between her legs to grip her dick.
Tsubasa took in a sharp breath at her touch and her hips jerked again, and she released Chris’s hand to tear at the sheet. Chris’s fingers brushed against the surface, hot and softer than the scales at its base, exploring as far as she dared. Tsubasa almost pulled out of Chris’s hand.
“I, I need you to,” Tsubasa’s voice was strained and uneven, “to guide me in. And relax.”
Tsubasa made short strokes in and out of Chris’s half-closed fist, showing cracks in her restraint now that she had Chris mounted and ready to take her. Chris allowed Tsubasa to do as she wished as her patience waned, imagined it inside her instead of making weak, erratic movements against her hand, motivated to leave her frozen state with the sound of Tsubasa panting as she held back. She begged herself to just move her wrist to direct Tsubasa, but she couldn’t convince her arm to move.
Perhaps Tsubasa had a valid point in wanting to protect her. And if Chris still desired to be protected, she knew she could ask Tsubasa to get off her and wait for Kanade as per her original plan. Tsubasa was too rough, too fast, more than Chris was prepared for.
Tsubasa wasn’t so rough that she hurt her, nor was she too fast to be careful. Her nails grazed Chris’s thigh, not piercing the skin, despite the way the rest of her body shook in her heat-driven lust. Chris didn’t just want to help Tsubasa, she wanted to make use of the trust between them to share an intimate moment, for Tsubasa to treat her in a way no one ever had or could.
Relaxed as told, she aligned Tsubasa with herself, and as she opened her mouth to tell her it was okay, Tsubasa jumped forward and buried herself to the hilt. Chris yelped in surprise, taking a fistful of a part of the bedsheet that was still intact, and with her other hand, gripped the back of her head and wound her fingers through her hair. Filled with both relief and deeper dissatisfaction, Chris attempted to mirror Tsubasa’s previous thrusting to encourage her, but there wasn’t room to move while pinned.
Through her frustration at Tsubasa’s stillness, and embarrassment at how frustrated she was, she dully heard Tsubasa call her name. “Are you okay?” Tsubasa asked, more clear now that Chris was tuned in to listen.
The words, “I’m fine,” spilled out from Chris’s mouth of their own accord, on instinct to reassure the woman she loved and of something more carnal. Without delay, before Chris had realized what she said, Tsubasa pulled out and slammed herself back in.
With her face down, Chris was able to muffle a shout as Tsubasa frantically thrust into her, all traces of her former gentleness gone. Tsubasa took great care in accounting for her size in their daily life, but now, weighing down on Chris from behind, pounding her into the mattress with a ferocity Chris hadn’t seen since they first met, the disparity was forgotten. She wasn’t just Tsubasa’s smaller and fragile partner, but her belonging, a prized treasure.
Fear left Chris’s mind as soon as it arrived, that from her position, she was immobile. That she was unable to ask Tsubasa to stop if she were hurt and was restricted by Tsubasa’s body weight and the hand at her hip that kept her in place. Her chest felt tight and pleasure shot through her core. Tsubasa maintained complete control of her as she continued her aggressive pace.
Chris’s knees shook when she was no longer able to support herself without Tsubasa’s help, lost to the sensation and falling limp. The apprehension that came with being bound turned into another intense wave of bliss that passed through her. Tsubasa knew what she wanted, and all Chris had to do was lie passive and let her take it.
There was a prick at the back of Chris’s neck, and Tsubasa’s hair fell across Chris’s shoulder. She’d taken Chris’s skin between her teeth, a delicate action, and potentially a dangerous one when she was thrusting into her so hard. Chris recalled Kanade laughing off scabs from obvious bite wounds rather than explaining, but Tsubasa never bit down on Chris’s neck. Her teeth grazed the surface, tickling, and Chris’s need to come overtook concern.
Perhaps Chris was out of her senses with euphoria, but the danger was comforting. There was a sense of safety in Tsubasa’s teeth resting a simple twitch of the jaw away from cutting through Chris’s skin, in the grip she had on her instincts while seemingly a slave to them. It was a much-needed reminder of the reason she trusted Tsubasa, that she was never a threat no matter the influence on her actions.
Coherent thought, fear and joy alike, were chased away as Tsubasa drove into her harder. She was vaguely aware of her physical self, the growing heat, the pressure that was close to snapping under that wonderful and foreign friction. The ever-present knocking of the headboard against the wall, fading into white noise. Pulling her own hair until it hurt, because she couldn’t do anything but hold on tightly.
All at once, reality blacked out as orgasm hit her. Either Tsubasa sped up, or Chris’s perception of time slowed. Her legs gave, and Tsubasa pulled her closer before she could slip down to lay prone on the bed. Tsubasa’s breathing quickened, became frenzied and wild as she neared her own finish.
As Chris’s awareness pieced itself together, the first thing she registered was something hot spilling into her. Next, the full feeling leaving her as Tsubasa pulled out and let Chris fall back to her stomach. Finally, Tsubasa flopping to the side, freeing Chris, assuming she had the energy to move. They laid face to face, Chris hiding herself in the crook of her elbow, feeling herself blush.
“Are you alright?” Tsubasa asked, brushing Chris’s hair away with the back of her hand.
Chris opened her mouth to speak, but words didn’t come. She nodded.
Tsubasa bit down on her lower lip and stared into Chris’s eyes. “I’m sorry it was like that.”
Chris shook her head; there was nothing to apologize for. Tsubasa had done nothing Chris didn’t want, wouldn’t want again. The sense of belonging and respect assuaged a fear she didn’t know lingered.
When Tsubasa had saved her from captivity, Chris stayed because she trusted Tsubasa wouldn’t mistreat her, but she lacked true security of her own self. Knowing that as a member of a horde, she was still another’s property, was a massive hurdle to clear. Tsubasa owned Chris, by nature of their arrangement. By Tsubasa’s choice, they were equals.
Tsubasa continued to stroke Chris’s cheek, soothing her out of the rush of adrenaline and emotions. She didn’t know that her body could be so tired while her mind was awake, taking in every one of Tsubasa’s features. The sweat across her brow plastered her bangs to her face, creased with worry. Chris knew she should explain herself, let her know how she felt, but no words could elaborate how happy she was.
She settled on telling Tsubasa, “I love you.” It wasn’t something she said often. To say so was to admit it, that she loved Tsubasa, loved the others, enough to be vulnerable. A reminder that they were capable of hurting her. But there was no reason to not say it because Tsubasa couldn’t hurt her; time after time, Tsubasa proved nothing could make her hurt Chris.
Tsubasa’s face relaxed, and her lips tugged into a smile. “I love you, too.” Chris’s heart fluttered. Like herself, Tsubasa refrained from verbal affection, favoring small physical displays and close, comfortable silence. While neither of them regularly voiced that sentiment, and Chris didn’t feel she needed to hear it, it was welcome.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Tsubasa asked again.
“Yeah,” Chris answered this time, and she reached up to rest her hand on top of Tsubasa’s, still playing across her cheek. “I told you I would tell you if I wasn’t.”
“You did,” Tsubasa said. “I’m sorry for not trusting your judgment.”
“Nah, it’s, uh,” Chris curled her fingers around Tsubasa’s palm, “thanks for looking out for me. All the time, not just now.”
Tsubasa leaned forward and kissed her forehead, and Chris lifted herself from hiding in her arm to return it, pecking Tsubasa on the lips. “And, um,” Chris toyed with her hair, tangled in the back where she’d pulled it, “if you wanted to do this again, if you don’t still think it’s unsafe….”
Smile returning, Tsubasa said, “I trust what you believe is safe.”
When Kanade and Maria returned, Tsubasa and Chris followed an unspoken agreement to tell neither what had happened between her and Tsubasa. It was a private moment Chris wasn’t willing to share unprompted, especially not with them. Chris kept her distance for the remainder of the night.
The following morning was as uneventful as any other. Tsubasa was subdued compared to her demeanor the previous afternoon, though Chris noticed how closely she stuck by Kanade’s side. Chris might have been insulted if she wasn’t still tired from the day before. Maria was oblivious, or a stellar actor ignoring the change in the air and Tsubasa’s and Kanade’s behavior.
The back of Chris’s neck still itched from surface-level scratches. She rubbed the irritated skin, then felt a second hand touch her and heard Kanade say, “She got you too, huh?”
Chris whipped around and swatted Kanade’s hand away, glaring up at her. “What do you want?” Chris asked.
Kanade tapped her own neck. “Tsubasa?”
Face suddenly hot, Chris diverted her eyes down and mumbled, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“C’mon, you’re hers too, aren’t you? Why so defensive?” Kanade sat down next to her without invitation. “She was horny when I left yesterday and not when I got back. You were the only one home with her.”
“Dunno why you care then.” Chris didn’t bother coming up with an excuse, but if Kanade didn’t believe it was a problem, then it wasn’t her business.
“Alright, real talk, I wanted to make sure you’re not hurt,” Kanade said, and Chris shrunk back as Kanade’s eyes wandered over her.
“Why would I get hurt?” Chris asked, bothered with the continuous assumptions that her own girlfriend was too much for her.
Kanade laughed, sending another wave of annoyance through Chris. “Listen,” Kanade said, “it’s not about you being weak. Tsubasa’s a lot to handle even for me, so of course I’m gonna worry.”
There was nothing to argue. Kanade was right, Tsubasa was more than she expected, and Chris lowered her walls now that she knew Kanade wasn’t patronizing her. “Just sore,” Chris confessed. “Around my shoulders and back.”
Chris felt Kanade’s eyes scan her as she leaned to the side and said, “I don’t see bruises, so she probably just put you through a good workout. And she didn’t force it on you?”
“Of course not.” Chris picked at her fingernails as she worked herself up to say, “I kinda had to push her into it, actually. She thought I’d get hurt, too.”
“Oh, thank god,” Kanade said with a relieved sigh. “I’ve never left her alone like that before.”
“You don’t trust her?”
“I don’t trust her hormones, she’s rough this time of year.” Kanade pulled her collar down, revealing a fresh cut that had yet to scab. “Let me worry about you just a little, yeah?”
Chris was still searching for an appropriate answer to learning they’d already slept together this morning when Kanade said, “She gets out of control in heat, normally you’d have to ask her to do stuff like this.”
“So, she…” Chris thought back to Tsubasa’s visible hold on herself, and her uncharacteristic, short tone. “She isn’t always like that?”
“Nah, she’s a huge softie. Spent our first few months afraid of hurting me, actually.” Kanade leaned back and smiled. “I almost miss it, she was adorable when she was trying to be careful. No complaints about the way it is now though.”
Chris stared down at her knees, and Kanade continued speaking. “She’ll be like this for few weeks. It’ll be nice to get some help taking care of her.”
“You make it sound like a chore,” Chris said, though she wasn’t sure she could blame her when she was letting Tsubasa go even further.
Kanade barked another quick laugh. “I’m only one woman. She’s insatiable when she wants to be, and I’m already running out of room for bruises.” She glanced back over to Chris. “Hey, you said she was softer with you? You should let me watch some time, she isn’t like that for me anymore.”
Chris didn’t know what kind of face she made, but Kanade grinned and waved her hand. “Kidding, kidding. You’ve got enough on your plate I’d bet.”
“Yeah, you don’t have to make it weird,” Chris said with a huff.
“But if you need anything you can ask me. No boundaries here,” Kanade said.
“Then, um,” Chris had something on her mind already, and Tsubasa hadn’t been around for her to ask, “do you know if she can get anyone pregnant?”
“Don’t worry about that either.” Kanade stretched towards Chris’s head to ruffle her hair, but Chris ducked out of her reach. “She’s not producing anything. Done it damn near every day of her heat cycle for years now, and do I look like I’ve had a kid?”
“Alright.” Chris bit the inside of her cheek, glad to have at least one risk negated. “Thanks.”
“Can I kiss you?” Kanade asked. Chris nodded, happy to oblige when given a warning, and let Kanade scoot closer and pull her in by the back of her head for a brief, chaste kiss. “You got nothing to worry about. You're tough, and you've got all three of us.”
“Yeah.” Chris debated if she wanted to return to the opposite side of the couch before she settled in against Kanade’s side. “Thanks again.”
Kanade wrapped an arm around Chris’s shoulders and asked, “You’re doing alright, yeah? With everything?”
“I guess.” Chris neither planned to nor wanted to get sucked into a long, serious conversation, but Kanade could be bearable for a short while.
“I won’t tell Maria,” Kanade said, changing the topic back. “She already knows about me and Tsubasa, don’t worry about that. But she’s not gonna pry with you.”
“Unlike you?” Chris asked.
“Hah, fair.” Kanade rubbed Chris’s arm. “I couldn’t not check up on you, though.”
“Thanks for that,” Chris said, more grateful than she knew she sounded.
“And jump in any time with Tsubasa, don’t worry about putting me out.” Kanade hummed mischievously. “Or join us.”
Chris pushed Kanade away, who willingly released her, and moved an arm’s length away. “I’ll think about it.”