Chapter Text
Tony POV
Tony was lying in their bed. Just the thought that it was Steve and his bed made him giddy. They’d been dating for over a year. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to look at Steve and not feel an overwhelming amount of love, and amazement that Steve has chosen him as his boyfriend.
However, Tony was not looking forward to when Steve gets back from SHIELD. They’d just spent the morning fighting the green goblin. God Norman Osborn was such a pain in the ass, specifically a pain in his ass. And well….. Tony may have leapt in front of a new bomb Osborn developed so he could push Steve out of the way without knowing anything about what the bomb would do. It turns out if wasn’t anything the armour couldn’t handle, and Tony walked away with only a sprained wrist and a pretty big gash on his leg, but Steve had come out of the fight super pissed that Tony would do such a thing.
“I’m also an Avenger Tony, I can take care of myself without having you putting yourself in danger! We both know that we work a dangerous job. If you keep trying to protect me from danger then you’ll be compromising the team because you aren’t working at top performance when you’re worried about me. Not to mention that I’m not delicate! I’ve handled myself fine up til now on my own.” Tony recalled Steve’s exact words before he went to do some other post mission work with Agent Agent.
And Tony knew that, he really did but… he just saw the bomb and didn’t think, just acted. He knows that Steve can handle himself but in that moment all he could think about was how much Osborn had bragged about the capabilities of this new bomb and when he saw it going toward Steve, his body moved on its own.
Tony sighed, blowing he’s breath out ever so slowly. “Compromising the team” Steve had said, and he can admit that struck him somewhere deep, causing all his insecurities to escape the bubble that Steve had carefully packed them in. There was no way he was getting away without a conversation about feelings, but at least there’s the possibility of angry makeup sex. Which is why he was trying to be good by resting in the bed, he needed to soften Steve up before they had this conversation. Tony decided to send Steve a few texts to hopefully soften him up even more before he came home.
Hey Bae! How’s all that paperwork going? -Tony
Tony smiled softly at his text. He loves using the pet names that kids these days come up with. Serious Bae? you can’t get any lazier than that. It always gave Steve this cute partly confused, partly exacerbates, partly embarrassed blushing brow furrowed expression. It would then morph into this expression like he was about to start lecturing kids about proper grammar while calling them son which led to frustration because there weren’t kids around to lecture. Thus, no matter what Tony’s own opinions on these pet names were, he must use them. Tony can practically see Steve’s expression when ever he even thought about pet names.
It actually didn’t take very long for Steve to text back, which surprised Tony. He must have expected Tony to text, which means he’s been contemplating what happened this morning a lot. That’s not a good sign.
Fine – Steve
Uh oh! One word replies, that’s also never a good sign. Tony couldn’t help but cringe. It’s been a while since Steve has been this mad at him over something in the battle field. Tony kept trying though.
Did you get any injuries? Have you checked with medical? – Tony
Yes – Steve
And?...-Tony
I’m fine Tony, you should be worried about yourself. How’s the leg? –Steve
Tony smiled a bit. Steve was always so concerned about him. Plus, no longer at one word answers, that was progress at least.
It’s good. Bruce wrapped it up for me and I took some hydromorphone (complements of Bruce) for the pain 3 hours ago. -Tony
He said it wasn’t as deep as it looked and probably won’t get infected –Tony
That’s good Tony. – Steve
You know I’m pretty lonely resting on our huge bed all alone – Tony
I’m surprised that you went to bed all by yourself. Thought I would have to find you in the work shop –Steve
Well I miss you! When are you getting home? –Tony
This time the response came slower.
I’m leaving you LOL – Steve
Tony froze. WHAT?
Steve tell me you’re joking right? That’s why you laughed after the comment? – Tony
No Response. He tried for humor.
Steve, do you know how rude it is to break up with someone over text?! –Tony
Still nothing from Steve’s end…..Tony was starting to feel desperate. Steve still struggled with 21th century etiquette, it’s likely that he doesn’t know that you shouldn’t break up over text message and maybe didn’t want to have a confrontation face to face with Tony. The LOL was probably trying to lighten the mood of the conversation despite what he’d said. Maybe Steve had been thinking about it since the battle and decided that Tony wasn’t worth all the trouble? Maybe this was the final straw that broke the horse’s back so to speak? He could just feel all his insecurities burst from his internal bubble. In Tony’s defense though, he pushed back his insecurities longer than he’s ever had before but then his reality came crashing down. Suddenly he realized that he’s hands were trembling badly. He picked up his phone. Tony couldn’t even blame Steve, but he wanted so badly to beg Steve for another chance, tell Steve that he can do better. But something in the back of his mind told him he wasn’t capable of change, that he’ll always be this broke person, that he shouldn’t waste more of Steve’s time and he should accept his fate. Accept the end of their relationship.
Steve, I’m sorry for all the shit I put you thorough this last year. I hope that you’ll still find happiness. –Tony
Looking at the comment Tony was surprised that his didn’t sound that bitter. Huh, maybe he was finally becoming an adult after all. He looked around the room. Before they were a couple it used to be Tony’s room, but Tony didn’t want to kick Steve out if he considers it his room now. He grabbed a bunch of his cloth from the closet, as well as, his pills, a few important pictures from the nightstand, and his toothbrush from the bathroom, and headed down to the workshop. He set himself up there until he found another room he wanted. Might as well stay since he was going to go to the workshop to mope and mourn their relationship in peace. The workshop will always be his safe haven, his sanctuary. Knowing himself he wasn’t going to leave for a while, so he might as well have supplies.
As soon as he made it to the work shop he dumped all of the stuff in his arms in the corner while locking the lab down. Knowing that his current calm was temporary until everything totally sank in completely. He reached for his pain meds. All that walking with the heavy load he was carrying was causing his leg to hurt. Plus, he was due for another dose.
Tony tried to open the bottle with his sprained wrist holding the vial, and he ended up popping the bottle open with more force that he meant to causing all the medications to fly out around the room, into his pile and rolling under appliances. Damn it, whoever thought of child proof vials? I mean serious? Screw children.
There wasn’t that much in the bottle to begin with. Maybe 20 pills, about enough for 4 days. Tony could just feel a migraine coming on. He would have just picked the pills back up but with his leg the way it is, he doesn’t think he can get into the positions required to fish all the pills back out. He considered going to Bruce for more but now that he was in the workshop he didn’t really want to leave. He could feel the break up starting to sink in, he could feel crushing loss, and depression fall on him like a pail of ice water. He went to the sink, grabbed the whisky from underneath and took a huge swig. This will work just fine for the pain, both the psychical and the emotional.
Chugging a fourth of the massive bottle, Tony contemplated while ignoring all of JARVIS’s nagging that he should consider a change in activity. He considered all the times the tabloids accused him of being an alcoholic. He wasn’t in denial, he really wasn’t, but he really didn’t think he was an alcoholic. He might turn to alcohol easily when things go wrong but when things are good he rarely drinks too much or feels the need to drink at all outside of social occasions. He admits there’s definitely dependence there, but he really doesn’t feel like the craved is daily like alcoholics do. He continued to try and contemplate anything other than him and Steve, and eventually his thoughts tapered off as he got more and more drunk.
“JARVIS, Lock Down. No overrides, not even Pepper’s. No one gets in. And not a word about anything related to this or anything about my current state to anyone in the tower. I’m not kidding this time, no using intonations or try to work around my orders in any way this time” Tony stated with all the seriousness he could muster before he lost himself in thought.
JARVIS replied with a “If you insist Sir”