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The first time Sirius could remember his brother- his sweet, little, innocent brother uttering the words ‘don’t you dare touch me’ was- naturally- at Bellatrix.
The older girl was a fifth-year at Hogwarts at the time. Regulus was five. She wanted to practice magic, and decided to volunteer her little cousin.
“Come on,” she growled, impatient. “Stop running, Reggykins. Let me just… trim your head.”
“You’re going to use Calvario and I’ll be bald!” he screamed back- his high voice both a source of amusement and distress for Sirius.
“Just- come here!” she shrieked, grabbing Regulus by the shoulders.
“Don’t you dare touch me!” he shouted, indignant.
Thank gods for accidental child magic, because Bellatrix was knocked down to the ground in that instant.
“Why you- you little brat! Come here- I’ll crucio that look right off of your face!”
OK, even Sirius knew that that was illegal.
Again. Thank the gods for, well, just being a child. “Mother!” Regulus screamed, at the top of his voice. “Mother! Help!”
Walburga raced up the stairs, desperate to protect her children from the maniac that was her brother’s oldest daughter.
“Children,” she said, tactfully. “Dinner’s ready. Hurry up now, before ‘Meda and ‘Cissa finish or they’ll get to eat all the dessert…” She glared at her eldest niece.
Thankfully, Bellatrix took the hint.
“Come,” she looked at her two younger cousins scathingly. “Let’s eat.”
.
The second time he heard Regulus utter the dreaded words was on a trip to Diagon Alley. Sirius was about to start his first year in Hogwarts and was already beginning to disappoint the family. What could he say? He was never known to be reticent.
“I can’t wait to find out which house I’ll be sorted into!” He beamed, ignoring his parents who had repeated the words ‘Slytherin, of course’ dejectedly since he’d first gotten his acceptance letter. “And when you get there we’ll race our brooms around the castle and wreak all sorts of havoc!” He beamed at his excitable little brother.
“Absolutely not!” Walburga said, sternly. “You are the scion of the Black Family. There will be absolutely no misbehaving. Do I make myself clear?”
Like hell was Sirius going to listen to her. Sirius Black listened to nobody.
And that was when it happened. An obviously muggle couple was walking around with their likely magical son who looked lost tapped Regulus on the back.
“Don’t you dare touch me,” Regulus growled ominously at the child, who took a step back in fear.
“Whoops- uh, sorry,” the kid said, trembling.
“Hey, hey, hey,” the boy’s foolish father said. “Take that back, that was rude and completely uncalled for!”
That was when their ferocious mother decided to interject. “Excuse me, this is a zone meant solely for magical beings. What are filth like you doing here?”
“Filth!?” the mother squeaked, outraged. “Why I-how dare you!? I’ll have you know that we are a very prominent family!”
“Muggle,” their father laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m sure that He will sort you out soon…” he whispered in the most ominous voice that Sirius had ever heard leave his father’s mouth. And as someone who oft found himself on the receiving end of ominous voices from their father, that was saying something.
Thankfully, the argument ended there. Otherwise, Sirius wasn’t sure what his parents may’ve done.
But nevertheless, it was an important moment in Regulus’s life.
The boy’s name was Gregory Thames…
The first person Regulus ever killed.
.
The third time it was directed at him.
Sirius had just come home for the summer. A lot had happened since he’d left for his second year at Hogwarts.
See, when Sirius decided that he was spending the Christmas and Easter Holidays at school to be with his friends that year, their parents had pretty much accepted that Sirius was a lost cause, and had turned their attentions on who?
Regulus.
It also didn’t help that his mother had begun to slowly lose her mind. Every now and then he’d see her polishing knives. Why? Wizards didn’t need knives, let alone family heirlooms dating back at least seven centuries. Long blades with golden, silver and wooden handles. In some cases the wood was from trees that were now extinct.
Nevertheless, it was terrifying. And alone with her, in the house, wandless… yeah, he had a reason to fear for his life.
Three more months. Three more months…
Of course, he realized, that this could just be some big, cruel method of trying to get him to bend to their ways, but he didn’t care. Why? Because it was working.
His parents had also decided to employ this tactic wherein they made him feel worthless throughout the year. Like Sirius’s owls home meant nothing, that Sirius was clearly ‘much happier with his new family.’
And even though he fought it at first, eventually doubt sank in and he began resenting his older brother. The one off having cool adventures… the one who was safe, away from their nutcase mother…
So when Sirius came home for the summer, and everyone else shunned him, Regulus found himself doing more or less the same thing. Spending long hours in the library- Sirius’s least favorite room in any house… or building, quite frankly.
So naturally, Sirius did what Sirius did best… he cornered him.
“Why’ve you been avoiding me?” Sirius questioned his little brother.
“I haven’t the foggiest idea what you mean,” Regulus replied, nervous.
“I mean, why has my little brother been spending all of his time in the godsdamned library instead of with his brother?”
“Look, Sirius,” crap, now he’d know. Regulus never called Sirius by name. It was always ‘Siri.’ “Please just leave me alone, OK? I have a lot of studying to do.”
“For what? You haven’t started school yet.” rather than reply, Regulus chose to just walk away.
“Hey!” Sirius called, walking after him, his hand landing on his shoulder. “I’m talking to y-”
“Don’t. You. Dare. Touch. Me!” Regulus seethed, his eyes narrowing and his face turning into a scowl. “You filthy bloodtraitor! You’ve been having fun with your bloodtraitor friends all year- why don’t you go pester them instead of pestering me? Huh?”
He pretended not to notice the light that broke in Sirius’s eyes, to be replaced for the rest of the holidays with a grim sort of nonchalance.
.
Surprise, surprise, the fourth time was also him.
Sirius had to run away. Ever since Regulus had been sorted into Slytherin the rest of the family did nothing but rave about how much of a better son he was than Sirius. Honestly, he wouldn’t be surprised if they’d gone out and disowned him on their own after Regulus got married and had his heir and spare.
If Regulus ever got married, that was. Sirius was beginning to think that his brother was celibate or something. Never, not once, had he ever expressed interest in any of the girls he’d met- or been forced to meet in some circumstances. And he’d never told Sirius of any crushes, so there was a chance that he just… just didn’t feel that way.
Regulus had had an even shittier Christmas than usual since his brother ran away on Christmas night. Guess whose family was now under scrutiny by the Death Eaters? If you’d guessed the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black then you’d be correct.
The pressure was now on him to be the perfect student- get straight Os this year, and join the Dark Lord’s cause. That was the only way to get his family into the clear.
And it was all fucking Sirius’s fault.
If Sirius had just stayed back and at least pretended to be a good heir then Regulus wouldn’t be in a position like this. Neither of them would. They’d be safe and happy if Sirius had just asked for Slytherin dammit! Regulus’s spouse wouldn’t have mattered. It wouldn’t have mattered if he’d gotten himself blasted off of the family tree had there been at least one heir. Wouldn’t have mattered that he liked men if Sirius hadn’t left.
But he did, and he’d never knew what hate could feel like- hadn’t thought himself capable of it in all of his wildest dreams… until now.
So when he was walking to his common room and felt a hand grab his- a familiar hand which he’d been holding since before he even could- and whispered in an oh-so-familiar- voice “We need to talk, Reg.”
He wasn’t surprised at the speed with which he spun around and backhanded his brother. Wasn’t surprised that he didn’t feel the sting against his own hand… didn’t even register the damned noises around him.
Because he was mad and when Regulus Black got mad all he saw was red.
“Don’t you dare touch me you filthy bloodtraitor!” He spat.
Sirius looked a mixture of offended and hurt, the red palm-print a stark contrast to his otherwise buff-beige complexion and signature Black-family grey eyes. His friend, Potter, raised his wand and pointed it at Regulus, no doubt ready to hex him to oblivion and back but Remus Lupin, a Gryffindor Prefect and another one of Sirius’s pain-in-the-arse friends, stopped the before anything happened.
.
The fifth time… The fifth time was weird, even on Regulus’s standards…
He’d wanted to know why the hell he’d spied his little underage brother, with one of the biggest pervert/psychos in their grade. Evan Rosier.
Of course, the rational part of his mind argued, Rosier was a Prefect. Perhaps this was merely a disciplinary session.
Then it happened again. And again. And again. He already knew that Snape was his brother’s ‘buddy’ as per Slytherin custom, so what the fuck was this creep doing with the boy who refused to acknowledge him anymore.
After what happened the last time he’d tried to reach out to Regulus- he shuddered thinking of it… so-so many tentacles- James had refused to let him go alone. And since the two of them were going, naturally Remus couldn’t leave them to go unsupervised. And since the three of them were going, no one wanted Peter to be alone with their boring roommate Rufus Scrimgeour.
“We’ve only 3 months until our N.E.W.T.s! You need to study more!” Seriously, calm the fuck down, Scrimgeour, that’s plenty of time.
“If you spent more time studying and less time losing us house points maybe we’d win the House Cup for a change.” Holy shit, Sirius wanted to find where Scrimgeour’d placed that stick up his ass and just shove it up further and twist it. Gods’ graces, that boy was a nightmare.
So there they were, all under James’s invisibility cloak, standing outside of the empty potions classroom, trying their hardest to open the door so that they could get in- there was a muffliato charm placed on the outside of the room- and spy on whatever the hell Rosier and his very underage, fifteen year old brother were doing.
Success! They’d managed to move the door enough and they began to sneak in. They sat down in a corner quickly to take in the ongoing chaos.
There were desks strewn about and his brother was screaming at Rosier, tears in his eyes.
“I can’t believe you! I can’t believe this!”
“Reg, please-”
“No! Don’t you fucking dare me to calm down! Not after-not after you and that whore-”
Woah! Hold up. What the fuck!?
“- kissed in front of everyone in the fucking common room!”
“Reg, baby, please. I was drunk- and she kissed me! I was looking for you, so I could tell you that I wanted to turn in for the night! I’d never cheat on you!”
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
He glanced to his left, where his friends sat under the bunched up invisibility cloak only to realize that their faces looked just as stunned as he felt. OK. Not asexual then… but still- and he knew that it was completely irrational to feel this way at the moment, given all that was going on- he felt hurt. Why had Regulus never told him that he liked men? Surely he didn’t think that Sirius would discriminate against h- holy shit. Wait! If Regulus had fucking told Snape about this before he told Sirius… someone was going to get beat up for this…
Regulus let out a cruel laugh. “Never cheat? Never fucking cheat!? Then what the hell would you call that!?”
“I-I don’t know!? But I didn’t-”
“You didn’t what!?” Regulus growled. “You kissed back- you kissed back with tongue! Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to be pointed by fucking Cedric Cromwell in the direction of your boyfriend kissing fucking Olivia Goyle!?”
Damn. Olivia Goyle was one of the hottest girls in their year- however she came with one of the nastiest personalities Sirius had ever seen (Yeah, even worse than Bellatrix)! Still, she’d probably make a good lay, Sirius didn’t know whether to pat Evan on the back or kill him slowly with the Transmogrifian Torture Curse.
Oh yeah, he cheated on his brother. Definitely the curse then.
“Babe- It was a reflex, from kissing you,” blargh, he didn’t need to know that. “Look, I understand why you’re angry and I agree, what I did was terrible. But dammit, babe, if I was sober it never would’ve happened.”
OK, Sirius was freaking out and even he knew that that was the wrong thing to say.
“And of course Cromwell told you- he wants to sleep with you! Reg, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to kiss back. I’m just so used to you sneaking up on me and kis-”
“What? So there’s no difference to you!? I’m just another mouth!?”
Sirius cringed. Oh fuck, Evan walked right into that one.
“No- of course not! But I was drunk! I’d had, like, nine firewhiskeys!”
“I’d had eleven!” Regulus screamed, more tears flowing.
Damn. Since when did his pint-sized underage brother drink? Sirius was going to have to get spies on the inside to keep him notified.
“Look, babe-” Evan gently touched Regulus’s shoulder, pleading him to see sense.
Ooh. Sirius winced. Bad move. Regulus hated being touched when he was angry with the person touching him. Sirius spoke from experience.
“Don’t touch me!” Regulus said, jerking back from Evan’s hand as though it were a hot flame.
“Please,” Evan begged.
Before Regulus could reply, Evan was on him, mouth desperately seeking Regulus’s, who opened slightly for him.
Regulus. His underage. Younger. Fifteen-year-old. Kid. Brother. Great, uh, thanks, Evan?
Suddenly, Evan was flung across the room, slamming hard against the cold, brick wall before dropping down and looking up, dazed- obviously- at Regulus, his lip broken and bleeding where Regulus had bitten down. Hard.
Regulus was shaking, trying to maintain a fierce exterior. His eyes betrayed him, scared, petrified… full of tears, that was for sure.
“I told you not to touch me! Don’t you dare touch me! Ever! We’re done, Evan. We’re over.”
Regulus turned and almost ran out of the room.
Sirius knew he ought to talk to his brother. But it still broke his heart the next morning when he went down to breakfast and saw his brother crying on Severus’s shoulder.
Fuck that boy, he deserved the stinging hex he had thrown his way during DADA that morning.
And even then it didn’t matter. If the rumors were correct, Regulus and Evan had patched up before the week was over.
.
Never in Sirius’s life did he imagine that this was possible.
He knew his brother was soft- but to do this… to actually go and willingly take the Dark Mark to appease the- his parents?
Sirius swallowed the bile in his throat. He had no family. There was of course Andy and baby Nympho- er, Nympha, but she wasn’t a part of his nuclear family, now was she?
There were no jokes that could lighten this mood. He-he needed to get out of there before he did something terrible. He ran into an alley waiting for Regulus to pass by so that he could ambush the idiot, letting his tears flow out- the despair in his heart nearly overwhelming him.
So when he cornered Regulus- who was trying to sneak back into the castle- on the path to Hogwarts, all that was left in him was 100% pure rage.
“What the bLOODY FUCKING HELL REGULUS!?” He screamed through his drying tears at the top of his lungs. He didn’t care if they got caught- hell, he hoped that they got caught.
“S-Sirius?” Regulus said, startled. His eyes widened and he placed his left arm behind him, as though he could hide the mark from his brother. The mark that Sirius had no doubt was under Regulus’s sweater which was under his cloak.
“Accio manus!” Sirius pointed at Regulus’s back, dragging the offending hand to him. He mercilessly ripped back the layers of fabric in the cold night to reveal the red, still healing skin that sported the dark mark.
“This?” He shook the arm roughly by the red skin, delighted in the fact that it made Regulus cry out in pain. “You’ve fucking signed your death warrant! You bloody idiot!”
“Siri-Siri, please!”
“NO!” Sirius barked. “You’ve lost all rights to call me that! Why did you do it? Mommy and daddy dearest wanted it!?” He shouted, glee filling him at the distressed look in his brother’s the boy’s eyes. “Or was it that boyfriend of yours?” He said, viciously.
“Yeah,” he said, noticing Regulus’s panicked look. “I bet it fucking was. I hope whoring yourself out to him’s worth it, because you’re gonna die for it. Or maybe you delight in that- huh? Little sicko, running around as a child with books on death and the dark arts?” he laughed humorlessly. “Goodbye, Regulus. I hope he’s a good shag.”
“Sirius,” Regulus tried to grab his hand as he turned away, his heart beating as loud as a metronome.
But Sirius swatted his hand away.
“Don’t you dare touch me,” he kicked Regulus in the stomach, sending the younger boy to the ground. “I hope that I get to kill you myself.”
He felt no instinct to go back and check if he was OK. He was too angry.
Less than two years later Regulus would die, during Easter Break at Hogwarts.
Evan would follow him a year later, too done with life to care about his own.
Five years later, when the dementors finally managed to crack him, that moment would be on replay in his mind. Why hadn’t he stopped him? They could’ve run away. He should’ve kept him safe.
And eighteen years later, when Sirius himself died and they were reunited, neither brother spoke of the incident ever again.