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It All Began With a Kiss
It all began with a kiss. A kiss so brief and sudden Karamatsu wondered if it actually happened. But how could he deny it when it was his own brother who initiated it. How could he have anticipated Ichimatsu’s kiss? It was unexpected and happened on a day like any other in the Matsuno household where he found himself caught up in yet another scuffle with the fourth son. He must have said or did something again to piss the other off, because before he even had time to figure it out, he found himself trapped by an iron grip to his shirt collar and a glare that could kill.
He expected the violent shakes to his shirt and baring teeth of his riled up little brother. He expected the growls and insults thrown at him, things that rarely bothered him anymore since he heard them so many times. What he did not expect was a pair of chapped lips pressing against his own after all of that.
Before Karamatsu could blink and register what was done to him, he was let go to fall onto the carpet of their living room. He searched for some sort of explanation from his brother’s face, only to find him turned away. Ichimatsu’s mouth moved to say something, but Karamatsu was still in shock from the contact and his heart was beating hard against his chest and all the way up to his head. What did he say? Just when he reached out to ask, his brother walked out of the room, leaving him alone to his disorientation.
And this became the first of the many kisses that followed weeks on after.
❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖
They had a routine. It was simple and straightforward, and they’ve done it enough times for Karamatsu to believe that they were following s script. Ichimatsu would always be the one to make the first move. The fourth brother would jump at the chance whenever their brothers and parents weren’t present in the house. It didn’t matter whether they were in the living room, the bedroom, or the kitchen, once they were alone, Ichimatsu would find a way to do what he want to him. His brother had his way of greeting him either with a sharp pull to his collar or a hard push to the floor. It wasn’t too surprising to the second son that his brother would use some sort of violence on him. The eldest would of course protest or asked questions and they would all be ignored. There was no point answering them when Ichimatsu’s intentions were made so obviously clear. And each time, Karamatsu allowed the other to have his way with him.
Sometimes when he was left to ponder his thoughts during the day, he would recall those private sessions they had together. The dark and heavy scent of arousal emitted by his younger brother had an overwhelming effect on him. The way the Ichimatsu loomed over him, casting a nasty sadistic sneer at him before bringing their faces close together had him mesmerized and frozen on the spot. Any objections he initially had were short lived. Any rationale and morale thoughts he had were abandoned and replaced with his brother. It made Karamatsu wonder if he was some sort of masochist, because this beastlike side of Ichimatsu didn’t bothered him as much as he think it should… he was more enamored by it instead and was prepared to keep up with his brother’s momentum as well as whatever else he had to offer.
What surprised Karamatsu, however, was the fact that none of that animal-like nature presented itself once the kissing and touching began. Counter to what Karamatsu had expected, Ichimatsu kisses were firm and passionate rather than lustful possessiveness. It amazed him that his younger brother was capable of doing what he did and had the ability to awaken newfound emotions in him that he never knew to experience. Of course with time and lack of restrictions, their kissing evolved to something more elaborate. When soft pecks and grazing between lips weren’t enough, they replaced with tongues and teeth. Sometimes messy with spit and sweat. Other time moderately painful bites and tears, but never enough to draw blood. Their exchanges varied, but each one was just as intense if not more. Before they even realized it, they were doing more than just kissing.
The aftermath of each session was always the same. The air between them would become unbearably hot and uncomfortable that the two of them found themselves too out of breath and exhausted to continue. During those occastions, Karamatsu could feel a silent reluctance from the other to part ways. The memories of Ichimatsu wrapping his arms around him in a way that was almost protective. The way he buried his face into his neck, occasionally pressing a soft trail along his skin. The scent and the warmth generated from their bodies as they pressed impossibly close together. Sometimes his brother would whisper his name in a mantra as he embraced him, and it made Karamatsu’s heart filled with joy, because he felt cherished and loved. He made sure to memorize every little detail about his brother in these special moments, because to his dismay, they never last.
❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖
Why did Ichimatsu kissed him that day and the days that followed? What was the meaning of all of this? Why him? Karamatsu couldn’t help but wonder about these questions every waking minute of the day ever since that incident. He was confused and frustrated by what happened and it was starting to irritate and tire him out. He had hoped that things would return to normal, but wondered if that was even possible since they did do something no blood-related siblings should ever do to each other. Perhaps he wouldn’t feel as uncomfortable and alone about everything if his brother would just answer his questions. Of course he turned to Ichimatsu for explanations, he tried several times on the first day. To his disappointment, Ichimatsu ignored him with a scoff or glare every time he tried to bring the incidents up. Instead of getting answers, Karamatsu was left with more questions to torment himself with.
Eventually he turned to himself for explanations. What would one do if the only other party involved refused to talk you? He couldn’t ask his other four brothers for advice and definitely not his parents. Just thinking about the others finding out about their little affair terrified him. Perhaps he only had himself to blame for the whole ordeal. Maybe if he wasn’t so passive and resisted his brother’s advances harder in the beginning, he wouldn’t be in such a risky situation now.
Karamatsu was no fool. He knew they had walked into something no siblings should ever step foot into. Incest was frowned upon on and there were negative consequences if he and Ichimatsu were to be discovered. There were nights where he couldn’t sleep when he imagined that kind of reality. What would their brothers and parents think about their own flesh and blood committing these sinful acts with each other? What would other people would say and how would they treat them? The things he and Ichimatsu did were unnatural and immoral, and he needed to do whatever he could to prevent anyone from finding out about them. He willed himself to do so, for himself, but even more for Ichimatsu, because he had no idea what the fourth son would do and whether he was capable to protect him when that time comes.
But there was something else that terrified the second son even more than being caught. The fact that despite knowing the severity of their condition, he would still choose to love his brother. The realization of how easy it had become for him to push all the unthinkable aside when he was with Ichimatsu, how he felt not a single ounce of shame when he touched and kissed him. How he wanted that distinct feeling to last forever whenever they held onto one another. He felt something from Ichimatsu that was something more than sibling affection, and Karamatsu couldn’t deny his own for him. He loved Ichimatsu. He had fallen for his brother and had come to accept them so readily and quickly, that it frightened him. But he couldn’t stop loving him and if he could have Ichimatsu by his side, he would be willing to face any punishment that came with that choice.
However, with each passing day, Karamatsu grew more and more anxious with these newfound feelings. It was like carrying an invisible weight of complex emotions and drowning in a pool of inescapable uncertainty. There were still many questions he had that have yet been answered. Everything started with the fourth brother. He was the person to confess his feelings to and he was the one to provide him the answers he desperately sought.
It was a challenge getting his younger brother to answer his question, let alone be in the same room as him, because once the kissing and touching ended, Ichimatsu would act as if nothing happened and avoided him whenever he could. If Karamatsu confronted him in a way that wasn’t to his liking, which was majority of the time, the fourth son would resort to physical violence just to get away from him. It was more discouraging rather than upsetting being treated with such hostility, and ultimately Karamatsu felt abandoned and lonely. He couldn’t help but think that perhaps the connection he felt with Ichimatsu was one-sided, a simple illusion he entertained himself with. It was easy to come to such conclusion given the chain of spiteful messages and behaviors directed at him. Still, in those intimate moments where their lips sealed and skins touched, he couldn’t help but to think that maybe, just maybe, Ichimatsu felt the same way he did.
It was like assembling a jigsaw puzzle. He pieced out half, but that wasn’t enough to see the whole picture. The other half of the puzzle have yet to be filled and Ichimatsu held all those missing pieces. What did Ichimatsu feel during their sessions together? What did he think of Karamatsu? Why him? He needed to know, but his brother never gave him a chance talk to him about it.
That is until one night.
❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖
Karamatsu woke up to the sound of whimpering and wetness on his cheeks. Had he been crying during his sleep? He didn’t recall having any nightmares or sad dreams. He rubbed at his eyes and found nothing there. Another muffled sob reached his ears and he felt droplets of liquid fall to the corners of his mouth. It tastes salty.
“…orry. I’m so sorry.”
The voice was quiet, almost inaudible under his brothers’ snoring, but he definitely heard the apology. Karamatsu blinked his eyes several time to adjust to the darkness. The first thing he saw was a crying face that looked identical to his. Was he still dreaming? He squinted, noticing the familiar half lidded eyes and messy hair and right away he knew exactly who that face belonged to.
“Ichimatsu?”
The fourth brother gasped upon realizing his older brother had awaken from his slumber. Did he wake him up with his crying? Did he hear what he said? His first instinct was run away so that he wouldn't be seen. He got up from their shared futon and turned to leave, but he moved too fast and his feet got tangled in the sheets of their blanket. Shit. He was going to wake everyone up. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the fall, but it never came.
A pair of arms wrapped around his waist and he felt himself being pulled backwards. He could feel Karamtsu’s firm hold and attempt to steady him, helping him regain his balance. His heart was beating fast from the initial shock and his eyes were strained from crying and staring in the dark for so long.
“Are you okay Ichimatsu?” The sound of his name brought him back to his senses and he noticed that the other’s hands were still on him. He broke out of Karamatsu hold and backed away. Even though he couldn’t see him well in the dark, he could tell the other was frowning due to being hurt or concern. Most likely the latter.
“Are you okay? You aren’t hurt are you?”
“I’m fine.” He mumbled.
“Oh. That’s good.” Karamatsu sounded relief, yet there was still a tint of worry in his voice. Ichimatsu chose to ignore it.
They stood in the dark in silence, eyes focusing on anything but each other. The only noise present was the sound of their brothers’ snoring. Karamatsu wiped the sweat that was forming on his palms onto his pajama pants. The stillness made him feel restless. He didn’t know what to say to in the given situation. Now that he thought about it, he never held an actual conversation with the fourth brother. On their normal days, he would put on his act, shouting poetic lines and striking poses. His brother would then ignore or scorn at him. And in in their private sessions… well, he simply stayed quiet and lend himself to the sensation of his brother.
This was not the time to do any of that and he felt extremely lost. Their lack of proper communication probably brought him to this state. He honestly want to talk to Ichimatsu properly though. He hoped for a chance to better understand the other, his brother who had always been somewhat of a big mystery to him. He wanted to know more about Ichimatsu’s interests and personal stories. He wanted to hear any aspirations he might have and be there to cheer him on. And if he were to find himself in any trouble, Karamatsu wanted to be there for him as well.
The hands on his sides balled into a fist in attempt to build some confidence as well as easing his nervousness. If he want to know the reason behind the kisses and touches, whether he had any sort of feelings for him… the same feelings Karamatsu had for him, he would have to ask him now. This was chance he was desperately looking for.
“Ichimatsu, we need to talk.”
“Save it for tomorrow,” his brother grumbled and Karamatsu noticed the fourth son’s figure making his way back to their futon.
“No, now.”
The serious tone caught him off guard and actually scared Ichimatsu a bit. Whatever his older brother wanted to talk about was definitely about something other than what happened tonight. He wished he could disappear from their room right now. He knew exactly what Karamatsu wanted to talk about. No matter how many times Ichimatsu avoided his brother’s questionings, he knew that his luck would eventually run out and he would have to face reality.
He still resisted though.
“Can’t you hear? I said tomorrow, Shittymatsu,” he hissed, making sure to hint his irritation to it before returning his focus back to the futon. Maybe that would finally get his brother off his tail. To his dismay, it had the opposite effect.
Karamatsu managed get a hold of his brother’s wrist despite having a hard time seeing in the dark. It was a hard grip, finger nails digging into the other’s skin enough that it probably hurt. The second son felt bad for the harsh treatment, but he would feel much worst if he lost his chance to confront Ichimatsu. He quickly pulled his brother out of their room and into the bathroom. Maybe they can talk in here so they wouldn’t wake anybody up. He freed his brother’s wrist to close the bathroom door.
“What the hell was that for?” The fourth brother rubbed at his wrist and glared at him. He was extremely peeved by the sudden rough handling. With the bathroom light, he could finally see the other more clearly. Ichimatsu’s hair appeared to be messier than usual and his eyes glowered at him with resentment. He noticed they were slightly red and wet from earlier. He still need to ask his brother about it and what he said to him in the dark.
“I’m sorry Ichimatsu, I just want to talk,” Karamatsu tried again.
“I already said no.”
“Please?” The pleading voice made Ichimatsu feel extremely uncomfortable, as if a heavy weight of guilt was placed on him. He knew what Karamatsu wanted to talk about and he was aware that he owed him an explanation for everything he had done to him.
“Fuck off.”
He was the worst. Even when given the opportunity to tell his brother his true feelings and to apologize for what he had said and done to him, he couldn't do it. Running away was the thing he knew how to do best. Pathetic. Trash. He hated himself for being the way he was. He hated how much of a coward he was with his own feelings. He hated himself for harboring something other than sibling affection for his older brother. But the biggest reason why he hated himself was his selfishness and lack of self-control.
No one, especially Karamatsu needed to know that his younger brother had been harboring a sick sort of love for him for years in the shadows. Yes, he was aware that incest was wrong, but he allowed himself to keep these feelings as long as he kept it hidden from the world. He convinced himself that he would be satisfied with just loving his brother in secrecy. He would be willing to adopt a persona to give the impression that he disliked Karamatsu if it helped prevent the others from finding out. And it had worked fairly well for a few years, until he broke his own conviction by losing to his lust that day. He was fully aware that his feelings toward his brother were unacceptable to the general norm and he knew that if he acted out on the things he had wanted to do to his brother, he could never take them back. But he fucked up by forcing himself onto Karamatsu and making him go along with his scheme. Ichimatsu was sure that he committed a crime, because he dragged his brother into something that would potentially scar him for life.
The second eldest faltered at his words and Ichimatsu tried not to let his hurt expression get to him. He needed maintain control over their current circumstances by keeping his mask on. Even though they had done things that were beyond acceptable between siblings, as long as Karamatsu doesn’t know the real reasons behind them, he would still be able to walk away unmarked. At least that was what Ichimatsu believed. It might be irrational or stupid, but the fourth son strongly believed that he could mitigate the mistake he created. He could never take back what he did to his brother, but he can prevent them from doing anything more than what they already committed. Whatever feelings and connection that had developed between them over the past few weeks should never have had the chance to do so, and it was about time Ichimatsu end their silly play once and for all. Karamatsu’s questioning would only bring him back to the truth, and if that were to be revealed, Ichimatsu wouldn’t know what to do.
Karamatsu’s body was trembling and he was doing his best to remain calm. It was easy to give up and break down right now given how his brother responded to his pleas. But he finally had his brother where he wanted. This was his chance to get all his questions answered, to find out what was going on between them and where the hell they were going, because he sure didn’t know. He couldn’t go through another day wondering what this all meant while harboring romantic feelings for the other all at the same time. It was too much for him to handle and it was driving him mad. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He was close, maybe a few more pushes and Ichimatsu will open up to him. At least that was what he had hoped.
“What was that kiss for?” He locked eyes with his brother. Their eyes held together for a few seconds before Ichimatsu's wavered. He was avoiding him again. Karamatsu licked his lips.
“Ichimatsu, tell me. Wh-what were those kisses for?”
He wanted to say he loved him. He had so much to tell him, that he felt horrible and afraid about the idea of loving him and being in love with him. How painful it was to always be under the same roof growing up together, but not allowed to openly love him the way he wanted, because this sort of love was wrong. But even if their relationship wasn't incestuous, a person like him did not deserve someone so confident, kind, and normal like Karamatsu. He was the exact opposite, fearful, selfish, and a deviant. Who was he kidding? Did he actually think there was a future for them? He would be committing something akin to crime if kept Karamatsu to himself, because he would only be holding him down. Karamatsu deserved someone who could bring out the best in him and make him feel happy. That person was definitely not Ichimatsu.
“Ichimatsu, answer me!”
A pair of hands grabbed his shoulders roughly pulled him out of his thoughts and he was forced to look up at his older brother. His eyes widen at the distraught look on the other’s face. He never seen Karamatsu like this before, so stressed and terrified, the opposite of his usual cheerful and confident self. His lips sealed themselves. He wanted nothing but to scream out the truth right now, but he could never tell his brother that, not if he want things to go back to normal for him.
He forced his hands to stop shaking before reaching up to grab Karamatsu's by his pajama collar. He pulled roughly at him until their noses where inches away, before giving the other one of the cruelest smirks he could mustered. He felt his brother's breath hitched and he was slightly relieved that his act was still effective. Even if the mask was breaking, he'd wear it until the end.
“What is it then? You've finally got my attention, so why don't you fucking say something, nii-san,” he glowered at his brother and gave another harsh pull. He felt Karamatsu's grip on him loosen, but was still firmly planted on his shoulders. He watched him hesitate for words before leaning in to his ear.
“Let me guess. You want to talk about feelings, huh?” Karamatsu's quickly turned to him with an expression so genuine and resolute that it almost threw Ichimatsu off track. He avoided those eyes fixating on him and burst out laughing, letting go of Karamatsu. The second son stumbled backwards, his hands rested against the door for support. His eyebrows furrowed with unease as he watched his younger brother teary eyed and breathless from laughing at what seemed to be the funniest joke he had ever heard. By the looks of it, his brother would most likely brush off the topic again. Karamatsu swiped off the nervous sweat from his face before taking a step forward.
“Yeah, that's right. I want to talk.”
That tone again. Ichimatsu was afraid of it and hated it, because he didn't want to talk about anything. He just wanted to move on from it. He doesn’t understand why Karamatsu keep bringing it up. He stopped laughing and looked at the other with disinterest.
“This is stupid.” he heard quick footsteps and suddenly his older brother was right in front of him again.
“What the hell?”
Before he could say another words, he felt a pair of hands cupped his face and he was pulled forward. The first things he noticed were his brother's eyes, which were closed under knitted eyebrows. Karamatsu had long eyelashes, which Ichimatsu was very fond of since he had a he chance to see than up close when his brother was asleep next to him, or when they were sharing a kiss… which apparently was what they were doing right now.
A warm tongue was pushing against the line of his lips, trying to make its way in. He would be impressed and even slightly happy by the fact that it was his older brother who initiated the kiss this time. He almost wanted to ask about it, but he was preoccupied with the situation at hand now, and would rather focus on that instead. Ichimatsu was a bit ashamed and disappointed in himself for not resisting more, but then again, he had always been weak for Karamatsu. His plan to end things between them left him momentarily as he gave into the kiss.
“This, I want to ask about this,” his brother’s voice came out low and out of breath when he pulled away from him, but just barely as their noses were still touching. Karamatsu face was flushed red, eyes half lidded and dazed. Ichimatsu was convinced that they were mirror images of each other by now given how warm his whole body felt at the moment.
“Ichimatsu, do the kisses mean anything. Are we… do you…?” He felt the hands holding his arms trembled ever so slightly. His older brother was stammering while at the same sending expecting glances. The he looked at him made him want to smother him with hugs and kisses, made him want to tell him that they meant more than what he can put into words.
He could tell Karamatsu everything right now and he deserve to know it, but he wouldn't allow it, because that would mean making the same mistake twice. Everything started when he gave into his incestuous desires, harboring those immoral feelings and letting them fester until he couldn't control them anymore. Even now in the present moment, he wanted more, the senseless thought that they could become something more. But if he were to let their affair continue, Karamatsu would never be able to turn back. He refused to let that become a reality.
“Isn't it obvious?” He scoffed, but Karamatsu's eyes only looked at him with soft fondness and Ichimatsu almost choked out at the sight. If Karamatsu ever felt anything akin to what he felt for him, he would never know, and it was for the best if he never did. And besides, he already decided to do what was right for Karamatsu. He gritted his teeth and dug his fingernails into the palms of his hands until they left markings. The lingering pain was incomparable to the one he felt as he pushed himself to lie to the person he loved.
“I wanted to let off some steam and you were conveniently there.”
He watched the other, expecting him to yell at him or cry, but Karamatsu’s expression remained the same. It took a few more seconds before his brother finally blinked.
“I-I don’t get it. What do you mean, Ichimatsu?” He was smiling nervously now. Ichimatsu let out a loud sigh before pushing him hard against the door with one hand.
“Do I have to spell it out for you or are you really that stupid?” He loomed over him and suddenly the air around them felt heavy. The glare that was directed at him was full of contempt and it made Karamatsu regret what he said earlier. “I was pent up and I used you to relieve myself. You did a great job by the way, burazah.” The smirk was no less spiteful and Karamatsu felt his chest tighten uncomfortably.
“I still don’t understand. Why me?” His voice came out shaky and Ichimatsu burst out in a fit of laughter. Out of nowhere, the second son could feel a cold hand sliding underneath the side of his pajama. He jumped, both from the chill and unexpected touch from his younger brother. Ichimatsu leaned in even closer until their fronts were pressed together, enough that Karamatsu knew the other could hear his frantic heartbeat. He shivered when he felt Ichimats’s lips next to his ear.
“Why wouldn’t it be you? You’re an idiot, a wimp. It’s almost ridiculous how you barely put up any resistance. Are you really that much of a pushover or are you secretly a pervert, Shittymatsu? You’re more like a convenient toy, so much fun to play with, so easy to manipulate with…” The fingers continued to invade him and Karamatsu’s entire body felt cold and uncomfortable. He shoved his offender away from him. Ichimatsu stumbled backwards and maintained his balance. Karamatsu had created a distance between them.
“Oh, what is this?” Ichimatsu forced himself to look amused by the other’s reaction, but in truth he felt disgusted with what he said and did. Karamatsu was breathing hard, his arms wrapped around himself protectively. His expression mixed by shock and fear, and his eyes… his eyes were looking at anywhere else but Ichimatsu. It was painful for the fourth son to watch, he didn’t mean any of that and he didn’t mean to make the Karamatsu look like that. But, wasn’t this what he wanted to achieve all along? To get his brother to stay away from him, so that they can end this mess they were in? Karamatsu won’t be coming anywhere near him at this rate. He really was great at being the trash he was. He should be happy that his plan worked. He took another look at the other and he felt another pang of guilt. He smoldered the feelings anyways.
“Did you actually think there was something special to what we did?” Karamatsu turned to face his brother, eyes wide with alert.
“Did you believe that this would last forever, that we would actually become something? That’s so stupid! You were only lending me a helping hand. Have you forgotten that we are brothers? Blood-related siblings who came out of the same womb, you don’t fall in love with your own brother!” He was a hypocrite, a fucking hypocrite. He was fully aware of everything he said to Karamatsu. These justifications, weren’t meant for Karamatsu, but for him. Yet, he had to keep up his charade.
“I thought I was trash for using his brother, but I guess there are worst trash out there,” he shot another repulsive look at the second son.
The bathroom walls, floor, and lightning seemed to blur and fade before his very eyes, and Karamatsu wondered for a moment whether he was actually in his futon sleeping alongside his brothers and that the Ichimatsu who stood in front of him was just a fragment of a bad dream. But the words he heard echoed and repeated themselves. They resonated so clearly in his ears and in his mind that there was no denying that he was very much awake and everything that was happening was real.
The question he wanted to ask, he finally got the answer to it. He just didn't expect that it came out this way and with this much pain. There was a buzz in his head and ache in his chest, and everything felt heavy and numb. His breath was coming out short and it was becoming more difficult to focus on his surroundings. His legs gave in and he found himself on the cold bathroom floor. The pain didn't register, because he was overwhelmed by a wave of recollections and thoughts about everything that happened between them, what he felt and had believed, and what Ichimatsu said and did to him just now.
Had he been wrong this whole time? Everything that they did, those deep passionate kisses, coveting touches… the way those brown eyes looked longingly and earnestly at him. His brother's face had been burned into his memory, there was no way he could ever forget it. He was certain there was something more than what Ichimatsu was saying. There was no denying that his brother mistreated him, acted extremely aggressive and unreasonable at times, and said hurtful things to him. However, when Ichimatsu wasn't doing any of those, he showed another side of him that Karamatsu never knew existed.
The Ichimatsu who embraced him closely. The Ichimatsu who delivered gentle yet heated kisses. The Ichimatsu who looked at him in a way that made his heart race with joy. That Ichimatsu made him feel cherished and wanted.
The image of Ichimatsu crying over him in the darkness of their bedroom found its way back and he remembered the silent apology. It was another out of character thing for the fourth son to do and when he factored that in with everything that had happened, the entire picture seemed off. In one instance Ichimatsu would treat him like dirt and then in another instance he would hold him like he was something dear to him. He would say hurtful things in front of him, but apologize behind his back. It was very odd and Karamatsu's intuition was telling him that his brother was hiding something from him.
His wavering hands balled themselves into fists and he stopped shaking as his legs regained their strength. The floor titles clinked against his feet as he stormed over to his brother. He grabbed at the fronts of Ichimatsu's pajama, very much the same way that was done to him and he knew that was a mistake, because immediately Ichimatsu's hands are on his.
“What the hell are you doing?” He glared at his older brother.
“You're lying,” Karamatsu returned one of his own, refusing to let go of the other despite having nails dug into his hands, “you don't mean that!”
“Let go of me, Shittymatsu!”
“Why were you crying?” He felt Ichimatsu tensed up under his hold. “What were you apologizing for?”
“I-I wasn't.” The tone wasn't convincing and the growing silence from the fourth son was making Karamatsu impatient and irritated.
“You were! I heard you, and you said something before too.” He shook the other harshly, trying to gain some sort of response out of him. “You said I lo-.”
“I didn't say anything!” Ichimatsu's shove came with more strength than what Karamatsu anticipated and he ended up crashing his left elbow against the sink. The second son let out a pained noise and Ichimatsu eyes grew wide with fear realizing what he had just done. He took a step towards his brother, wanting to help him, but he stopped himself. Karamatsu was grabbing onto his throbbing elbow, trying to ease the pain, but he was still very much focused on the conversation he was having with Ichimatsu.
“It doesn't make sense for you to cry and apologize… and said what you said,” he locked eyes with Ichimatsu's, “after all that we've done together… I don't believe that you don't have even a little bit of feeling for me.”
“I don't.” It came out almost inaudible. Ichimatsu pulled at the corners of his pajama, his lips sealed into a thin line. He wanted to leave. He didn't want to be in the same room as his brother right now.
“Ichimatsu, what is it that you are trying to hide?”
Ichimatsu realized that he was finally cornered and he couldn't run away. Karamatsu had finally caught on. It was difficult to think of a new plan that would get him out of this mess. He felt overwhelmed, he was anxious and desperately want to stop everything, but he didn’t know what how. So he only did what he knew best.
“I told you already! I didn't cry and I didn't say anything!” The outburst accompanied by the rage on his younger brother's face took Karamatsu aback, but his own anger towards his brother's denial, the contradictions in his brother's actions and words, sparked within him and Karamatsu refused to back down.
“Stop lying!” He shouted and Ichimatsu’s hands were back on his collar again. His body tensed as dark eyes glowered at him.
“I'm losing my patience.” Ichimatsu was breathing hard, as if he was fighting two battles as one. Physically with the person in front of him and mentally with himself. He yanked hard, bringing Karamatsu's face close to his. His voice dropped low and the words came out stone cold. “Listen closely. I've never felt anything for you, nothing. Whatever that was done to you, was to help ME feel good. Whatever stupid thing you came up with in your head, that's all on you, but know that that's messed up nii-san. These feelings you have for me, it's freaking gross, so do me a favor and stay away from me. I don't want to turn into someone like you.”
He watched his older brother’s mouth opened and closed itself, but the noises that came out were unintelligible. His brother who he secretly admired and hated for his boisterous confidence was reduced to someone unrecognizable, and it was all his doing. Ichimatsu released his grip and stood up. He had felt Karamatsu's trembling under his hands when he said those things to him and he wish he could wipe that sensation from his memory, because now he had to live with the fact he hurt the person he loved.
“We're ending this.”
“But! You can't just!” Karamatsu eyes were wide with bewilderment and the words came out jumbled. He knew he must look desperate and pathetic with where he was at right now. On his knees, on the floor, tears ready to burst out any moment. Him pleading his brother to reciprocate his feelings for him. Yeah, he really was miserable. But he really couldn't believe what he heard.
“Ichimatsu,” his tears were falling down now, “what am I going to do with these feelings?”
“You can go fuck yourself.”
He felt something hard struck against his face and he saw white sparks. The he never got the chance to register the fist, but the taste of iron in his mouth and the burning hot pain to his side reminded him otherwise. It made him dizzy and sleepy and he would have drifted off had he not noticed the shadow towering over him. He could see a tear stricken face, flushed red and shaking. Ichimatsu was pulled off from the floor and lifted up until he met his brother eye to eye. Karamatsu looked angry, but it was almost irrelevant compared to pained look in his eyes, and at that moment Ichimatsu realized he went too far.
“You’re so cruel. I hate you.”
Something seemed be collapsing within him. Ichimatsu never knew words could hurt so much.
“Hey, is anyone in here? I need to use the toilet.” The bathroom door suddenly swung open and Osomatsu walked in. He yawned loudly and scratched his stomach, still drowsy from sleep. When his eyes adjusted to the bright light and the first thing he saw was his immediate younger brother standing over the fourth son, hands balled into fists. His eyes shifted to Ichimatsu watery face and he noticed the blood dripping from his mouth.
“What the hell is going on?” The eldest son quickly made his way over to his injured brother, pushing Karamatsu away. He inspected Ichimatsu’s face and mouth and let out a breath of relief since the bleeding wasn’t anything too serious. No bones were broken, only a cut and bruise. He turned to glare at the second eldest. “Karamatsu, what were you thinking? He’s bleeding!”
Karamatsu was quick to scowl back, but it fell just as soon as he did when he saw the wounded face cradled in Osomatsu’s arms. His body tensed up at the realization of what he did and a wave of shame hit him. What the hell did he do? His anger got the best of him and he ended up hurting his own brother.
“Ichi- I- I… didn’t mean-” Karamatsu stepped forward, shaking and stammering, lost to what he should do.
The whole situation was wrong. His brother looked so guilty and fragile right now and he shouldn’t be apologizing to him when it was all Ichimatsu’s fault in the first place.
You’re so cruel. I hate you.
Karamatsu’s words continued to resonate in his head, it was the only thing he could hear, despite the two eldest talking over him. He deserved it. He was so determined in keeping his brother from finding out the truth, he went beyond what was acceptable. Everything spiraled down to shit when he lied and Karamatsu was always the one hurting on the receiving end.
“It’s all my fault,” a dry sob escaped his lips and he tugged at his older brother’s sleeves, “everything happened because of me!”
Osomatsu frowned at the sudden outburst and turned to Karamatsu who looked just as confused.
“Calm down Ichimatsu. What are you even saying?” Ichimatsu shook his head, still grabbing tightly at his brother.
“You don't understand… after all the things I did to him, I'm the biggest living piece of trash on this planet. I don't deserve to live.”
This was bad. Osomatsu face contorted to one of extreme concern and he started to bombard his brother with questions, while Karamatsu started panicking. Was Ichimatsu going to tell their brother about them? If Osomatsu found out, he would definitely tell their parents and the others. And then what will happen to them? He glanced over at his younger brother. Ichimatsu was talking to himself over Osomatsu’s questions. His brother was clearly thinking straight nor was he aware of the danger he was putting them into. Karamatsu had to do something quick.
“Ichimatsu, what are you saying?” He asked again. The eldest still didn't know where his brother was going on with his speech.
“I'm disgusting, who would... towards their own brother?”
This time it came out as a broken sob, yet a little too quiet for Osomatsu to hear. And luckily it was, because Karamatsu took advantage of it to divert Osomatsu from further questionings.
“It's okay Ichimatsu, I forgive you.” He gave him a nervous smile and then turned to Osomatsu. “He said something that made me really upset and I punched him without thinking. It was really foolish and uncool of me to lash out at my younger brother on such trivial matters.”
Ichimatsu's stopped crying momentarily to gape at his brother. Why was Karamatsu lying? Why didn't he tell Osomatsu about them? What was he thinking?
“What did he say that made you so angry that you punched him? This is very out of character of you, Karamatsu.” Osomatsu eyed him suspiciously.
“Uh… um, he made a mean joke. He said uh… making my eyebrows look like skid marks is the only full-time job I have.”
The bathroom was silent except for the dripping water from the sink. Both the first and fourth son stared at him dumbfounded for a few seconds before Osomatsu let out a loud tired sigh and glared at his two younger brothers with irritation.
“What the hell, are you two for real? You fought over something like that?”
“Yeah, it was really stupid. I'm really sorry for punching you Ichimatsu.” Karamatsu gave his brother hinting looked before turning back to his other brother. Osomatsu was still skeptical and he narrowed his eyes at the youngest in the room.
“Ichimatsu?” The tone startled him a bit, but he got the note.
“Y-yeah. It's fine.” He covered his mouth with his sleeve and mumbled. “I'm sorry for making fun of your shitty eyebrows, Shittymatsu.”
“Heh, that absolutely fine. I forgive you my dear burazah!”
The eldest still had doubts, but since the two apologized to each other and were talking to each other like they usually did… and the fact that he was drained and sleepy and still needed to relieve himself with the toilet, Osomatsu didn't care nor have the energy to deal with this matter any longer.
“I'll take care of it.” Karamatsu chipped in right on cue earning himself a once over from the other. He smiled assuringly. “I'm not going to hurt him again, I promise. I know where the first aid kit is. I'll take good care of him.”
And that seemed be enough to satisfy Osomatsu. Karamatsu was quick to get Ichimatsu out the bathroom and out of their brother's presence. It was still too risky for them being there.
❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖
Not a single word nor glance were exchanged between the two since leaving the bathroom. Ichimatsu lingered behind his brother, following him downstairs to their living room in silence while maintaining a careful distance. He just didn't know what to do or what to expect after what happened in the bathroom. He snuck a brief look at Karamatsu, who went to turn on the lamp. He wonder if he was still angry at him. Ichimatsu wanted to apologize to him, but didn't know where to begin. He had so much to apologize for.
“Ichimatsu?”
He flinched at the call of his own name and Karamatsu took a step back at his reaction. He looked surprised and then guilty. He pulled his hand back and attempted to smile at his younger brother.
“Sorry for startling you. I'll... I'll get the first aid kit to clean up the wound, so please wait for me on the couch.”
Ichimatsu watched him disappear from the room before mentally reprimanding himself. He kept making his brother feel bad for his own ineptness. How shitty can he get? The sound of footsteps made him jump onto the couch and straighten himself out. The second son came in with the kit and he set it on the couch next to his brother.
“I'm going to clean it now, okay?” Ichimatsu nodded and he took that as cue to start working.
He brother gently dabbed the cut on the lips with disinfectant, trying to get rid of the germs and dried blood without bringing more pain. The elder of the two did his best to focus on cleaning the wound. He didn't want to look at Ichimatsu right now knowing what he did to him. The cut wasn't too deep and would heal given a few days, but the large purple and blue bruise on the cheeks… they would take over a week to disappear. Karamatsu swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. He didn't deserve to cry, he wasn’t the one injured.
After what seemed to be the longest and tensest five minutes they've ever experienced, the second son was finally done patching up his brother. Ichimatsu gave the bandage on his cheek a brief pat before turning over to Karamatsu, who was packing up the first aid kit.
“What about your arm?”
Karamatsu blinked and gave a puzzled look before recalling hitting his arm against the bathroom sink earlier that night.
“Ah, it's fine, nothing to worry about.”
The fourth son narrowed his eyes before seizing his injured arm. Karamatsu yelped in pain as the sleeves of his pajama was pulled up, revealing dark bruises. Ichimatsu frowned at them and he glared at the other before getting up from the couch.
“Ichimatsu?”
“Sit here.” His voice was filled with gravel and Karamatsu obeyed without further protesting. The fourth son came back as soon as he left, holding an ice pack wrapped up in a cloth.
“Don’t move.” He pressed the pack to his brother’s arm without warning. Karamatsu stifled back a cry from the initial pain by biting on his sleeves. Shit, he applied too hard. Ichimatsu pulled back a little and hesitantly pressed the pack more gently. He seemed to get it right this time, because he felt the other gradually relaxed. They stayed like that for a while before Karamatsu eventually broke the silence.
“I'm sorry, Ichimatsu.”
Ichimatsu was surprised from the apology, but quickly shook his head.
“Don't. It wasn't your fault.” It was his brother's turn to shake his head.
“No, it was. Look at your wounds.” He gestured over to his brother. “I should never have raised my hands at you out of anger.”
“But I was the one who made you angry by saying all those things in the first place!” The second son had every right to be angry at Ichimatsu, but he couldn’t find it in himself to remain angry. He just wanted some sort of congruence with the other. He covered his eyes with his hands and his voice came out strained.
“I was really upset Ichimatsu, at everything you did and everything you said. You made me feel confused and hurt and alone. It was really hard for me you know?” He was gripping hard onto his pants and he lowered his eyes, smiling bitterly. “But you weren't wrong for saying all those things, because they're true. It was my own fault for developing feelings for you and then forcing them on you. I tried to blame you for everything that happened, when it was my fault to begin with. I’m selfish… disgusting. I’m such a disgrace.”
Ichimatsu dropped the ice pack in exchange for his brother's face. He lifted his head up to see fresh tears trailing down the other’s cheeks and he felt like crying as well.
“Why are you crying?”
“I- I don't know.” Then he started weeping and Ichimatsu maintained a close hold. “Actually I do know. I'm scared, Ichimatsu. I love you. I love you more than a brother, so much that I don't think I will ever be able to stop. But I know that it is wrong, unacceptable, and I respect your boundaries, so I’ll… I'll do my best to stop myself from being this way. I'm not going to push my feelings on you anymore. I'll keep a distance so that you won’t be uncomfortable.”
Karamatsu's sobs and shaking frame, the way his shoulders slumped over made him appear smaller than he was. Hearing his brother’s plead made Ichimatsu feel a mixed wave of sadness, shame, and hatred for himself. He was the reason why his brother fell to this state and he didn’t deserve any of this. He knew better. If the task of loving someone was as simple as what Karamatsu had said, they wouldn’t find themselves in this state. He knew firsthand how difficult it was reject one’s own feelings. He opened his mouth to disagree, but Karamatsu interrupted him, grabbing onto his shoulders roughly.
“I know it's selfish of me to make such a request, but don't tell anyone about me, about what we did. Please don't, I'm begging you Ichimatsu. If they find out… I don’t know what would happen to us. We're still brothers aren't we? I-I don't want to be separated from you and our family. I don't know what I would do if they take you away… without you, I-I can’t… I don’t know. I’m so sorry.”
His brother couldn't be more wrong. If Karamatsu was selfish, then what does that make him? Everything he did up until now had been selfish and cowardly. Forcing himself on the other, ignoring him, treating him like shit, lying to him, and blaming him for his own feelings. Making Karamatsu apologize and cry multiple times to trash like him. Fear had taken over him in the worst way possible. Years of secretly harboring affection and lust for his brother made him lose control, but fear also made him run away and hurt the person he loved. And even now, after Karamatsu's confession, his own insecurities and self-loathing prevented him from reciprocating those feelings even though that was what he truly wanted. But he didn't deserve being with Karamatsu. He would be a burden, only bringing misfortunes to him.
Karamatsu must have noticed the conflicted look on his face, because it was his turn to hold him. He lifted his face up, his hands were warm and gentle, just like the smile he was giving him.
“I’m sorry for worrying you. Never mind me, I'm sure everything will go back to normal. If anything, I'll always be there for you, so it'll be okay. You can count on me Ichimatsu.”
Always. Why was he always like that? Where did he get all that confidence? It always seem to be the greatest when one of his brothers was in trouble. No matter how unreasonable he was or how much he pushed him away, Karamatsu always insisted on helping Ichimatsu whether he want him to or not. Even when he had been hurt, he never hesitate to placed Ichimatsu's feelings before his, going so far as to discard his own and take the problem upon himself. Was he stupid or kind? Maybe stupidly kind was what Karamatsu was and what he admired about him. His brother who shared the same face, yet was the total opposite of Ichimatsu.
The fourth son didn’t know anything other than act on his own shortcomings. Always acting impulsively, running away and lashing out when things get tough. He was convinced that pushing Karamatsu away would be for his own good and that being hurt was an inevitable part of the process and that it was worth it in the end. But how would he know? And was that what the other wanted? He never considered Karamatsu's feelings or what he had to say. And now, he would never know, because he never allowed the other a chance to speak.
His cheeks tickled and he was drawn back to his brother. He didn't realized he was crying again. Karamatsu's thumbs were rubbing away the tears in a comforting manner. He pressed their foreheads together and whispered comforting words like “everything’s alright' and 'don't worry' to ease his younger brother.
No.
Karamatsu had already spoken even when Ichimatsu tried to stop him many times. He acknowledged his feelings and made it be known to the person he loved. It was Ichimatsu who never said his part even though he had every opportunity to do so. Didn’t everything started, because he didn’t say it properly? Would it make any difference if he said it now?
He eased into his brother’s gentle touch and calming voice. Same black hair, facial structures, and body frame. To the outside world, they looked like each other, they were identical brothers. Yet to him, Karamatsu was more to that. He was brilliant, captivating, and Ichimatsu couldn’t help but to be drawn to him.
Would it make any difference if he said it now?
It wouldn’t correct what he did and he doubt admitting his love for his brother will help return their relationship back to normal. Nevertheless, the opportunity to speak had presented itself to him yet again, as if to tell him that this what he should do, what he must do. The truth was inevitable, so he finally gave in.
“Going back to the way things were? That is impossible for me.” He shook his head. “I couldn't keep lying to you anymore.”
“What do you mean, ichimatsu?” Karamatsu looked at him with confusion.
“You aren't the only one who has feelings their own brother.”
“Ichimatsu, you…”
“Everything you said was true. I did have feeling for you, Karamatsu. I had them for years and never told you about them.”
“Why didn't you tell me?!” Ichimatsu did not expect sudden outburst directed at him, but it made him slightly annoyed. His brother should know better.
“Don't be stupid, you know why I couldn't!”
“Why couldn't you?”
“It's incest!”
Karamatsu looked away from him, expression strained and contemplative. He had been right this whole time. Ichimatsu did have feelings for him all along. That would explain why he kissed him and everything else afterwards. He should be happy that their feelings were mutual, but he wasn’t satisfied with the confession. He didn’t understand why Ichimatsu had been so hesitant in telling him the truth and had gone so far to keep him from finding out, to a point where he said things that made him doubtful and ashamed of his own feelings. Did his brother know the how much trouble he had caused him with his lies? If he could accept his own feelings, why couldn’t he?
“I hate myself. I'm disgusting and pathetic piece of trash. I knew it was wrong, that this love had irreversible consequences.” Ichimatsu broke into a defeated sob and it startled the second son. “I wanted to keep you out of it, I didn't mean to get you involved. You were innocent and didn’t deserve any of this. I only had to refrain from touching you, but I couldn't even do that! No matter how much I tried to push them away, the feelings just keep coming back. It was terrifying… I couldn't see you as just my brother anymore. You stood out from the others, I saw you differently, started to notice things that I don't usually pay attention to. I thought keeping you in mind and secretly watching you from afar would be enough, but it wasn't enough. I wanted more of you to myself.”
The second son’s face was slightly flushed, he was not used to his brother’s honestly. He had no idea his brother felt this way about him. Ichimatsu wiped his tears with his sleeves and tried to catch his breath.
“I thought I could keep you to myself just until I was satisfied, but it was an excuse. My feelings for you won’t ever disappear, I knew that already. But I didn’t want you to return my feelings, because that would mean you were like me. I was abnormal, but you weren’t. You didn’t love your brother like I did.”
“But I fell in love with you. I’m no different than you,” Karamatsu said quietly. He didn’t like the reasoning behind his brother’s actions, but he was starting to understand.
“You are nothing like me. I forced you to reciprocate my love for you and you did exactly what I had been trying to prevent. You fell in love with me. I didn’t want you continue down this path, it was fine for me, but no. I couldn’t let you fall down with me. So I ignored you and said things to give the impression that I hated you. I did everything I could to distract you from finding out, yet you managed to see through me and confronted me about it.”
“So what you said, about using me and my feelings being one sided… you didn’t mean it do you?” The doubt in his voice made Ichimatsu regret everything he said in the bathroom.
“Everything I said was a lie. I was just so scared and desperate to keep you away from finding out the truth that I resorted to that. I’m… I’m really sorry for everything, but please believe me this time. I really do love you Karamatsu.”
Karamatsu eyes shifted downwards, nodding his head slowly, as if he was convincing himself of something else. There was silence between the two and Ichimatsu could only watch his brother with apprehension. He finally did it. He told Karamatsu everything and although he felt a sense of relief from his confession, he was afraid to hear what the other had to say. He fought the urge to leave the room. No more running away. It took a while, but eventually his other brother spoke up. Karamatsu let out a deep breath before giving him an empathetic smile.
“I finally understand why it took you until now to tell me everything. I must have been hard for you, Ichimatsu.” He laughed lightheartedly. “Thank you for telling me.”
He stared dumbfounded at his brother. Was that all? He did not expect the calm demeanor and the thank you. He was having trouble processing this sort of response to his deepest and longest kept secret. His older brother gave him a guilty look.
“Ichimatsu, I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to forgive you right away. It’s a lot to take on and I just need some time to reflect on it, I’m so sorry.” Karamatsu lowered his head and Ichimatsu was quick to hold him back.
“Don’t apologize, Karamatsu! None of this is your fault. We both know that the way I treated you was wrong... and I can’t take back the damages that I’ve done to you.” He swallowed hard, trying to urge himself to continue with what he needed to say. “I tricked you into loving me. I don’t want you to forgive me at all.”
His brother shook his head and took his hands into his.
“You did no such thing. You only initiated it and I went along with it. You didn’t force me to love you, I fell for you on my own accord. And I want to forgive you, Ichimatsu, because you clearly feel sorry about everything. When you don’t censor yourself, I see your sincerity. You might not see it, but I do,” he wrapped his arms around him, holding him close, “and besides, I love you. I don't think I can hold a grudge against the person I love, let alone my brother.”
What's up with his kindness? Was his brother some sort of angel or something? Ichimatsu was grateful. He buried his face against his chest and hugged him back. He didn't want to show how happy and close to tears he was right now. Karamatsu chuckled and ruffled his younger brother's hair. He was growing to love this honest side of Ichimatsu.
“There, there my little Ichimatsu. Everything will be okay.”
“Where do you get all that confidence?”
“Heh, I will fight any battles to protect my baby burazah. My heart, body, and soul are dedicated to you my honey.” Ichimatsu groaned at the cheesy proclamation. Karamatsu's laugh died down and his smile faltered slightly.
“I'll be honest with you Ichimatsu, I am a little scared of what would happen from here on out… how things would go with you and with the others if they find out. I just don't know if I can be as confident when that time comes. I guess I’m not as reliable of an older brother that I thought I could be.”
It didn’t occur to Ichimatsu until now that he wasn’t the only one struggling with his inner turmoil. His older brother was just as troubled and scared as he was, perhaps more given how insensitive and unhelpful he had been towards him throughout this whole time. He didn’t love him the right way the first time. He hadn’t been honest with his feelings and he left Karamatsu to deal with the confusion and pain by himself. He did things he regretted and could never take back, but maybe he could move beyond his past self by correcting his current self. He want to be there for him this time. This time, he will make sure he loved his brother properly.
“Karamatsu.”
“Hm?” The second son pulled back to look at his brother and was met by a familiar pair of lips. He blinked once before Ichimatsu pulled away.
“I love you.” The tone of the other’s voice and the way he looked at him made the second son’s heart flare up. Before he could say anything, Ichimatsu leaned in once more, pressing even deeper than before.
“I love you.” He kissed him again and again, saying those three words over and over. Karamatsu’s heart was racing as he melt into the fervent kisses. The temperature was rising and he felt a light buzz in his head. The way the other felt and tasted, they were still so addictive… and a bit too much for him to take in at the moment.
“Wait, Ichimatsu!” He managed to gather the strength to pushed his brother away, just enough so he can catch his breath. The fourth son was breathing just as hard and his face was flushed red.
“Why?” It was obvious and somewhat dumb question to ask, but Karamatsu felt the need to anyways. Ichimatsu only shrugged.
“It's because I love you.”
“No, I mean yes! But why are you saying it out loud. It's… it’s embarrassing.”
“You were the one who kept asking what the kisses were for, and I'm just telling you the truth since you wanted to know so badly. Each and every one of them was for that reason. Are you satisfied with my answer, Shittymatsu?”
Karamatsu opened his mouth to argue back, but he really didn't have anything to say. His younger brother gave him a playful smirk, making his face glowed a sharp scarlet.
“O-okay.” He made an attempt to turn away to hid his face, but Ichimatsu made a grab for him. He was pulled into an embrace, his brother's arms wrapped around him tightly, so he couldn't escape. His younger brother was warm against him and he could hear and his heartbeat, and Karamatsu found it to be very comforting. Ichimatsu held him close.
“I’m a bit slow when it comes to these sort of things, but I realized that there is more to loving you than with kisses and words, and that is me being there for you so that you wouldn't have to do everything alone. That is what I want to do from now on.”
Karamatsu could only look in awe, impressed by his brother's sudden resoluteness. The Ichimatsu now was different. No more hiding, only telling him his genuine feelings. His brother wanted to become a better person and lover for Karamatsu’s sake. It was loud and clear, and it reached his heart. Pride and affection swelled within him.
“That's what I want to do too.” He slipped his hands into the others, intertwining their fingers together and he grinned. “We can do it together, Ichimatsu.”
The gesture made the fourth son’s heart danced and warmed him in the most uplifting way possible, and he welcomed all of it. He squeezed their hands close, returning Karamatsu’s smile.
“Yeah.”
❖ ❖ ❖ FIN ❖ ❖ ❖