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Magnus sat down on the couch next to Alec – who looked half asleep – with a not-so-inaudible sigh. He had just put Max to sleep with a rather magnanimous amount of cajoling and a whole playlist of lullabies. Max Lightwood-Bane was well behaved most of the time, but the arrival of the night brought forth magically summoned hyperactivity, a characteristic that often sucked the last ounce of energy from his fathers’ bodies.
Now, after three whole hours of engaging in these tiresome procedures, the warlock finally allowed himself the luxury of rest. Parenting was hard, Magnus concluded sadly. There had been a period of time in the early days of adopting Max that he had contemplated using magic to force his son to sleep. But he dismissed the idea when Alec expressed his appall.
“Blueberry is finally asleep!” he announced in the manner of one making his greatest achievements known.
Alec made a hissing noise. “Shhh! Do you really want to deal with him just when you finished?” Magnus ducked his head sheepishly and lowered his voice for the apology.
A moment of silence fell over the room, the heavy breathing of the two men blending with the air. It was a silence Magnus and Alec hadn’t heard in what felt like ten years but was really just two months and it was a silence they wished for sometimes – no wails disturbing the peace, no feet rubbing against the carpeted floor in trying to attend to the never ending needs of a baby…
They loved Max with all their heart and a life without him was now unimaginable, but a break from the hardships of fatherhood was long overdue.
“Are all babies like this? Or is it just the warlock ones?” asked Magnus.
Alec laughed, his eyes squeezed and mouth wide open. “My baby brother was a handful, that’s for sure.” The mention of his lost sibling no longer made him react the way he used to, though it wasn’t a faded memory, but it still pricked the Shadowhunter’s heart.
“It’s natural, Magnus. Babies need all the attention they can get around this time. I also think he isn’t going to stop calling you Magwuss anytime soon.” The last remark caused the warlock to groan, though he always secretly bubbled with pleasure when Max called him that. Honestly, it was endearing.
Alec languidly scooped up his lover and pressed a lazy kiss to his lips. They didn’t have the energy to go further but he enjoyed it while it lasted. Magnus laid his hand on the Shadowhunter’s chest and rested his head in the crook of his arm.
“Speaking of attention, I remember how you demanded mine the first time I saw you,” Magnus said coyly. Alec’s cheeks colored. “You mean at the Chairman’s birthday party?”
“Hitherto unknown, you arriving at my party was the second time I laid my eyes on you.” Alec’s eyes widened slightly and he tilted his head back a little to look at Magnus. “So you had seen me a first time?” He sounded slightly baffled.
“Well, yes. Do you recall visiting Moon in a Cup with Jace and Isabelle for one of your missions?”
“That start up place where Jace acted stupid after eating faerie fruit scones?”
“Precisely.”
Alec’s faced suddenly morphed into an expression of realization. “By the Angel!” he exclaimed.
“Look who’s voice is loud now,” Magnus commented dryly. But Alec didn’t seem to hear it.
“You were the drunk guy who stumbled into that place and handed out the posters to everyone?!” He was genuinely stumped now.
“Let’s just say my self-preservations on sobriety weren’t as refined as they are now,” Magnus replied subtly.
“Then why didn’t I see you?”
The light-heartedness of the recollection seemed to fade and shift to awkwardness. The answer was simple, but he felt like it would guilt trip his husband. So he expressed his hesitation, hoping Alec would take the hint to leave it be.
But the notion that Shadowhunters always got what they wanted came forward and stared into Magnus’ face with its angelic feathers all glowing and puffed up with pride.
You were in love with Jace.
“Ah well, you Nephilim tend to miss out the small details when you’re on mission,” he answered, trying to muster up all the nonchalance in his power.
But of course Alec didn’t believe a single word of it. “Magnus…” he started warningly. “You know I can read you like a book, right?”
“Kinky,” he chuckled. Alec glared.
“I was in love with Jace, wasn’t I?” he guessed and looked a little lost for words. Magnus could literally see the gears in his brain turning and thinking of what to say next.
“Hey, no. Alexander, look at me,” Magnus said a little boldly. “You were still confused at the time and I was just an inebriated jerk. Don’t ever feel sorry about it. We’ve all been through that at some point in our lives and I guess that’s just how it is. You can’t control your heart when you’re confused. It’s in the past and all that matters now, in this moment, is us and our family and Max.”
When Alec finally looked at him, it took his breath away again. The blue of his eyes was a little darker now from the lack of light. It still surprised Magnus how a man so beautiful could be his. He had done his fair share of mistakes and bad things, but somewhere in that pile someone had buried a blessing. He often wondered what good deed he had done to deserve that blessing. Alec was his blessing.
Life had put them both through the trials and tribulations of a relationship and Alec was proud of how they had persevered and come this far. His eyes briefly flickered to the silver band on his finger. It was his wedding ring and had the words aku cinta kamu engraved in it.
Despite the cold air of the room, the warmth radiating from Magnus’ hands holding his was palpable. And in that warmth a thin string of confidence and hope weaved itself around the two lovers sitting in the dark.