Work Text:
Pulling up his browser, Yata types in the site name with shaky fingers. He had gone on here plenty of times in the past, but knowing what he was about to look up had his heart racing.
"Damn it, just calm down," he mumbles to himself, growing frustrated with his nerves.
There was no reason for him to be this anxious. Fushimi had even said he wouldn't be home until later in the evening, and while he was disappointed about it before, he was grateful for it now. He had the apartment all to himself, which he had expected to make things easier. It didn’t though, and he had even resorted to holing up in his bedroom, just in case. He had been sitting on his bed with laptop in front of him for a good ten minutes before he had even managed to open the damn thing. It was ridiculous.
Yata knew there was no reason to be freaking out so much. No one else was there and even if Fushimi had come home in the middle of everything, he’d be able to close everything out before he even had the chance to catch a glimpse.
Taking a few deep breaths and several minutes to mentally psyche himself up, Yata enters the search. As expected, it receives plenty of hits. Yata’s eyes go wide as he takes in the numerous thumbnails for each video, nearly all of them piquing his interest.
"There's so many..."
He figured it’d be a lot, but he didn’t realize it would be this many. More surprising than the amount he’d found was the fact that he was actually happy about it, his variety of options making him tingle with excitement. It was making it hard for him to choose.
Scrolling through the results, Yata's cursor stalls over one particular video. He feels his face burning and his breath catches in his throat immediately after he realizes what it was.
This was it. The video that got him into this mess.
--
Just a few hours previous, Yata and Fushimi had guest starred on a famous talk show. It was nothing he wasn't used to, but the content was something new. Usually on shows like this they'd interview them a bit about future plans and what-not, but this one was different.
The plan for the episode was to make him and Fushimi "look back" on their past works and see how they'd grown as idols. It had sounded like a great idea when Kusanagi explained it to him, but he now understood why Fushimi had called him an idiot after he said he'd be up for it. Fushimi hadn't objected either though, the two of them going through with the deal. He should've known something was up when he saw the smug look on Fushimi's face then, but had just chalked it up to Fushimi being an ass.
As it turned out, the reality of what he'd gotten himself into was completely different than he'd expected. They said it was to showcase how they'd improved over the years, but it was made very clear early on that it was more of an excuse to embarrass them with their old, cringy content. Not that Fushimi had really been phased with anything they showed, the bastard. He didn’t seem to be bothered at all watching his younger self on screen, leaving Yata to be the only one to get embarrassed while everyone else - Fushimi included - watched in entertainment.
It was irritating that Fushimi was so calm about it, but Yata couldn't really blame him for not caring too much. Fushimi’s acting and singing always had a natural and smooth air to it, even when they'd first started out as idols. It always left him in awe to witness Fushimi’s performances and the same could even be said now. In fact, it was one of the reasons Yata had been so intent on getting him to join him in the entertainment world. He trusted his instinct that they could become something great together.
Yata didn't know how Fushimi managed to do everything so flawlessly, his movements seemingly effortless and graceful whenever they were on stage together. It could be inspiring as well as frustrating to see what natural talent could bring someone, but Yata didn't let it get him down. He had grown into his own over time, all the effort he had put into practicing and refining himself had paid off – and he was damn proud of it too.
Still, just because Fushimi was naturally good at those things that didn't mean he didn't work hard as well. Ever since they'd debuted, Fushimi had held up the image that he wasn’t particularly fond of being an idol and that he had only gone along with it all because Yata had roped him into it. It was a statement that always had the audience going crazy. The image that the ever-aloof and stoic Fushimi would continue to stay by his best friend’s side tugged at the heartstrings of those that followed them. Even Yata couldn't help but be touched by it whenever he reiterated the fact, his heart thundering in his chest.
It was something he didn’t think he’d ever get tired of, but as much as Yata liked hearing that he was the motive for Fushimi being an entertainer, he knew it was only a partial truth. Despite how much Fushimi tried to play the whole idol thing off as something casual, Yata could see that it held some meaning to him. Yata may have been the reason he had started out originally, but he didn’t buy that he was only sticking to it for him.
Being an idol was hard work, as it constantly kept you busy. There were always new dances and lyrics to learn, as well as photoshoots and even interviews. There was no way Fushimi would've been able to keep up if he truly disliked it. Yata knew all too well that Fushimi put all his effort into his work, even if he continued to downplay it. He also knew that when he really didn't like something, he made it very well-known. Instead, he worked just as hard as Yata did and they continued to better themselves together.
He loved that he was able to work by Fushimi’s side, and Yata wouldn’t change it for the world.
However, for as much as they worked together as a duo, they also had their own individual projects on the side. Said projects were also a part of the show they'd agreed to join, something that Yata didn’t recall Kusanagi mentioning. He didn't really mind and had enthusiastically gone with the flow when the host had brought it up after reviewing one of their first performances together.
All that enthusiasm was quickly sapped once he saw what it was they were about to play, Yata's face heating up at the memory. It had all started out so well, only for it to bring up something Yata had tried hard to forget in his long career as an idol.
The oh-so-popular "boyfriend" videos, or at least, that’s what he called them. They were something he hated with a passion, and for good reason.
They were videos that allowed the fans to imagine idols as their own partner, which is where he got the name. They were meant to act as the camera’s boyfriend which gave the illusion that the viewer was there with them. The script would determine what sort of activities the idol and fan would be doing. That usually meant they would have to pretend to hold hands, go on a date, or even just talk sweetly to the camera. They even did photo shoots where they acted like they had just woken up next to someone. Those were more tolerable than the videos, at least.
Shooting the boyfriend videos always left Yata humiliated and drained. It used up far more energy than any sort of concert or performance he had ever done. Yet somehow, he had done more of these videos than he could count on one hand.
It was mostly Fushimi's fault that Yata went through with them. He'd always turn the offers down whenever he got them, but his jerk of a best friend always had a way of getting him to agree. Fushimi's would always tease him for being a virgin that was too scared to even fake date a woman, which never failed to get him to try and prove him wrong, only to dig his own grave. He should've known better than to fall for such taunts, but it looked like he never learned.
Today had been the day he finally paid for it – his first ever video of that kind being shared to all that were present as well as watching at home. It wasn't like he had expected people to forget it existed, it was online so people could watch it whenever they wanted, but for him to have to relive it in front of thousands of people in horror... Yata had never wanted to disappear so badly in that moment.
It was even worse than he remembered, his past self looking tense as he walked with his back to the camera, his supposed girlfriend trying and failing to keep up with his pace. The part that got him the most though, the part had the audience erupting in laughter as he covered his face in embarrassment, was what came after.
'Hey, what are you doing all the way over there?' He had said, his head now facing the camera. He had taken a few steps closer to the woman, his hand outstretched, 'Come on, babe.'
"Agh!" Yata groans, shoving a pillow into his face. He remembered how difficult it was to utter those words then, his voice high pitched and shaky whenever he tried to get them out. In fact, he had such a difficult time that the directors had gotten too impatient and called it quits, opting for editing what they already had. They had removed his stuttering and tuned it up a bit after the shoot in order to make it sound smoother, but he had never seen the finished work until now. He had been too ashamed at the time to check it out and had never bothered to after.
Of course, Fushimi had gotten a kick out of his reaction then, and it was suddenly apparent to Yata why he had agreed to the whole thing in the first place. He had probably known something like this would happen... How, Yata wasn't sure, but it sure as hell didn't matter now. Thousands of people had already seen him wither in embarrassment at his painful attempt at acting smooth. It was just what Yata needed too, another thing caught on camera that Fushimi could tease him with.
If Yata had to complain about one thing when it came to his work as an idol, it would probably be all the embarrassing evidence Fushimi could dig up of him just from a simple online search. Not that he needed something like that, but he still liked to hold it against him sometimes. That dick.
After the host had sufficiently made Yata regret his past decisions, they had moved onto Fushimi's own boyfriend video. They had gone the same route as they did for him and chose the first one he’d ever done, which Yata was glad about. He wanted to say things had gotten better after that, but... they had somehow gotten worse.
Just like with his own, he had never actually seen Fushimi's boyfriend tapes before. It was mostly in a fit of embarrassment of wanting to forget his own that he’d never watched them up until now. The train of thought was silly, but he had kind of hoped that in doing that it would allow him to act like they'd never happened - for both himself and Fushimi.
When he was presented with the prospect though, he had to admit he was more than curious. How did Fushimi act when he was supposed to be dating someone? He knew it was mostly up to the directors to choose what they said, the script already being written, but they were open to changes if the actor didn't like certain things, or wanted to add their own twist.
Maybe Fushimi had added something of his own in there? Yata had sort of hoped he had, as it would give him a small glimpse at what the real Fushimi would be like while in a relationship, rather than acting. That thought had tugged at his heart a little, though he wasn't entirely sure why at the time.
Yata was surprised at just how much he wanted to know what Fushimi was like as a boyfriend when he thought about it.
His thoughts hadn't been entirely innocent though, his wounded pride wanting Fushimi to experience the embarrassment he had. He was expecting it to make him feel better, but life had other plans. Instead, it had introduced him to a new problem, leading him to where he was now.
As they played the video, Yata had come to notice that it was different than the one he had done, which he suspected had to do with his ability to act more... composed around women. Che. Instead of walking like he had done, Fushimi was sitting at a table in what looked to be some sort of café while his "girlfriend" sat in front of him. They both had fancy desserts plated before them, already partially eaten.
It was frustrating to admit, but Fushimi's acting was smooth, unlike his own tense and awkward performing. In the clip, Fushimi had taken a bite of his dish, when he suddenly looked up to the camera with a raised brow. 'What's wrong?' he said, his tone inquisitive. Answered with silence, Fushimi suddenly smirks, 'Ah, you want to try mine, don't you?' He had taken another spoonful then, his hand motioning towards the camera, 'Here you go, darling.'
Darling. That one word had Yata reeling when he'd heard it. He knew it was just acting, but it had his heart racing and his face felt warm up for a completely different reason than just moments before.
Fuck. Fushimi had said darling.
It wasn’t in the usual Japanese accent either, Fushimi’s English skills getting the chance to shine. He had pronounced it perfectly and the sound of it was like music to Yata’s ears.
It wasn’t something he'd ever imagined his best friend saying in the past, especially in such a gentle voice, but it sounded good. He knew that these types of things were only intended to make the fans go wild and yet he still he couldn't shake the butterflies that it unleashed in him. He was used to having his heart race and feeling breathless whenever he watched Fushimi on stage, but this time… it was different somehow.
He could feel a light and tingly sensation emanate throughout his body when he thought of that one scene, as though the word had triggered something in him. To have Fushimi feed him with a gentle look on his face and in that low, even tone wouldn’t leave his mind. He didn't know how to deal with these newfound emotions, but it almost felt like he couldn’t get enough. It was like how he usually felt around Fushimi, the same giddiness and contentedness still there, only amplified.
He had tried his best to play it off once it was over, but even he knew he'd spaced out for a good couple of seconds before he was able snap himself out of it with the reminder that he was on national television. He didn't even want to think of the dumb face he had made while watching it...
Shaking his head, Yata drives the thoughts away. None of that was of importance anymore.
Now that he was in the privacy of his own home and Fushimi was out, he could watch these videos without worrying about keeping up appearances. That didn't make it any easier though, as he'd been staring at his search results without doing anything other than groan and cover his face in embarrassment like a loser. He couldn't help it, the prospect of what he was doing somehow filling him with an anxious tension. It only got worse when he actually thought about what each link contained, his palms going sweaty.
What the hell would watching any of these get him, anyways? Besides, wasn't it kind of weird to watch videos of your best friend acting like your boyfriend?
"Boyfriend," he repeats aloud, the word calling out to him. It made him feel the same way he had when Fushimi had called him darling, a spark running through him. Wait… If he liked the idea of Fushimi calling him darling as his boyfriend… Didn’t that mean… An alarming thought comes to mind as he processes those emotions, his eyes widening. There was absolutely no way that was the case that he... He... "Ahh, fuck! I just don't get any of this shit!"
Fuck Fushimi and his damn smiles and smooth voice, toying with him like this. Why the hell should he care about any of it?!
Out of frustration, Yata motions his cursor to close out the tab before hesitating. He didn't want to believe it, but if, just if his train of thinking was really correct then these videos would prove it, wouldn't they? He had always considered Fushimi special and his presence meant more to him than anyone else in his entire life, but he'd never considered it as meaning that. But why else would Yata like the idea of Fushimi calling him pet names, and feeding him? Why else was he always so giddy and exhilarated whenever he was around him?
None of those things had ever clicked in his mind until today and it was all because of one damn word. He almost couldn't believe it how simple it was. It was almost fitting in a way, with how often Fushimi would call him simple himself. It was also kind of annoying, seeing Fushimi being right most of the time. Still, it was better for him to try and test out his theory now, rather than acting weird when Fushimi got home. He wouldn't be out much longer with all the time he’d wasted mulling over everything, so it was best he got moving.
With that in mind, Yata decides to go for it. He had plenty of options to choose from and all of them looked tempting. He may not have watched these before, but he did recall Fushimi doing some shoots in a few of the outfits shown in the thumbnails. They usually put up photos online as a sort of teaser before the actual video was released in order to garner attention. It worked well, of course. The fans eating up as much as they could get their hands on.
Bouncing his leg a little, Yata takes a deep breath as he settles on a random video. It didn't matter which one he chose to watch it the end, he was only doing this as a test.
"Just – let's fucking get this over with!"
Click.
--
Twenty minutes and more than a handful of videos later, Yata was at a loss.
He didn't think it was possible to have his heart race so fast just by watching something, but leave it to Fushimi to prove him that, yes, it was. Hell, he was starting to think it was comparable to some of his most animated concerts and that was saying something. His face had been burning ever since he'd started this whole thing, but the heat in his face had now made its way to his ears and even part of his lower neck.
He had gotten so into watching these damn things that he had even resorted to putting on his headphones to hear it properly. It was ridiculous, he heard Fushimi's voice every day and yet he couldn't get enough. These things are addicting... He could suddenly understand why the fangirls were so fond over them.
As he'd continued to watch more and more of these though, it became clear that 'darling' seemed to be Fushimi's thing. He wasn't sure if it was because Fushimi actually wanted to say it - unlikely, but there was a possibility - or because the directors just thought it suited him and decided to continue using it in scripts. Either way, Yata had to admit he may have... taken a liking to it. He didn't know what it was about it, but hearing Fushimi speak in English was far more attractive than it should've been. He always thought it was really cool before, but damn did it do things to him now.
There was one more thing that had become apparent in his binging of these videos and it was what he wanted to ignore the most. It was impossible to play it off now though, after all the time he'd just spend ogling his best friend with a red face and racing heart. These videos were a curse that had made him face something he didn't realize had been haunting him for so long.
He liked Fushimi.
He liked him so damn much he felt like he was about to burst, and the worst part, was that the moment he’d been hit with it had been caught on national television.
Shutting his laptop, Yata mumbles to himself, "Shit."
What the hell was he going to do now?
--
"Yata's been acting kinda weird lately, don't you think, Fushimi?"
Not even a minute into their break and already Totsuka was bothering him.
Taking a swig of his water bottle, Fushimi takes a moment before replying. Totsuka was watching Yata who was on the other side of the room, chatting with Kuroh and Shiro. Of course, Fushimi had noticed it, he just hadn't said anything.
It had been like that since they guest starred on that show and he'd gotten home from a shoot he had. He didn't know what had happened in the hour he was gone, but it was apparent that something had. It looked like Yata was trying his best to act like nothing was wrong though, so he had decided to see how things would play out before mentioning it to him. It didn't seem like he was mad at him or anything, which was good. He just couldn't deny that things seemed... off.
Normally, Yata would be talking energetically to him about whatever they'd just finished practicing, barely giving him a chance to rest. This entire week had been different in that regard, as he'd quickly rushed off after each practice to do whatever excuse he came up with that day. Even at home Yata acted strange, as though he couldn't be around Fushimi for too long or something.
Things would go as normal, the two of them playing a game or having dinner when Yata would look like he'd suddenly remember something, his face turning a bright pink. Whenever he got like that, he'd suddenly get all tense and would stumble over his words, his eyes avoiding Fushimi's own. It was honestly cute seeing him like that, but puzzling as well.
What's his problem?
"Ah, so you've noticed as well, Totsuka-san." Striding over to Totsuka's side, Munakata pushes up his glasses, "It's most intriguing, don't you think? Perhaps something happened off set, Fushimi-kun?"
As usual, the two gossips were coming to him for information. Annoying. He didn’t know why they were bothering when he didn’t know anything either. All he was sure of was that Yata was acting weird, and that was the only information he had. Besides, even if he did know more, he wouldn't be sharing it with them.
Sighing, Fushimi lowers his water bottle. They wouldn't be leaving him alone if he just stood there ignoring them, so it was better to get them off his back sooner than later. "If you're worried, why don't you ask him instead of me?"
Looking amused, Munakata huffs a light laugh, "I appreciate the advice, Fushimi-kun, however I've already done just that."
"Right. Of course, you did," Fushimi says, a frown on his face. Why would Munakata waste even a minute on gathering information?
Without invitation, Munakata continues to explain himself. "I became aware of Yatagarusu-kun's odd behavior soon after that show the two of you appeared on. Naturally I approached him about it. Unfortunately, he denied any claims that there was a problem, which I know to be untrue. He is quite the open book, as you know."
After the talk show... He thought the same thing, but if Munakata noticed as well, then there was certainly no denying it.
"So what you're saying is, your attempt at being nosy backfired and now I'm your next target."
"Being nosy?" Pulling that fake-hurt look of his, Munakata's eyes widen just slightly, "It's normal to be worried about your fellow teammates, is it not?"
Somehow Fushimi didn't think worried was the right word.
"Oh, the talk show!" Clapping his hands together, Totsuka brightens up. "Maybe he's still embarrassed about watching his old material? I think that dating video he did must've really gotten to him! He's not really good with that stuff."
Blinking in surprise, Fushimi thinks it over.
Yata had been fine up until they’d played those clips of them on their fake dates. Yata’s reaction to his own video had been just about what he’d expected, but when it got to Fushimi’s own, he had acted a bit weird…
He recalled the slight flush that was on Yata’s face then, his mouth slightly agape. It looked like he was in a state of shock or something, though he pulled himself back together relatively quickly. Only now did it click in his head that Yata’s reaction then and how he was acting now were related.
Glancing over to Yata once more, Fushimi feels a smirk form on his face. He might’ve just figured it out.
Looks like Munakata and Totsuka can be useful, after all.
--
"Phew! I'm beat!" Yata exclaims as he tosses his stuff on the ground before collapsing onto the couch.
Today had been another intense day of practicing choreography and Yata was just about spent. They had a concert coming up with the rest of the other idols and it was just as awesome as the last time. They didn’t all work as a group often, so Yata was always ready to go all out when they got together like this.
He may have gotten a little too into it though, his body being far more sore than usual. He had a habit of drowning himself in dancing and singing when he was really looking forward to a performance. And, well, when he was trying not to think about things too much.
He wasn’t entirely sure how to act around Fushimi now that he realized he liked him – a lot. Those damn videos had not only helped him realize his feelings, but had made him realize just how much he may have… actually wanted to date Fushimi. While seeing Fushimi act like that on camera was enough to give him a heart attack, he was aching to see what the genuine thing was like.
It was overwhelming, going from thinking of someone as your best friend, to realizing you actually fucking liked them, only to then piece together that you wanted to date them. Especially all in one day. How the hell did people deal with stuff like this, anyways? He had never had a crush on someone before, so he was at a loss. Thinking about it though, he had a hunch that these feelings had been embedded in him for a long time, waiting to be discovered and shared with the world. If he had to guess, it might’ve even been since middle school that he felt that way.
Took me long enough to notice. Seriously, how dense could someone be?
As he’s mulling in his thoughts, Yata feels the couch cushion sink in as Fushimi sits beside him. Without thinking, he looks over to Fushimi, his breath catching in his throat. He was closer than he’d thought, the proximity causing his face to heat up immediately despite his best efforts at trying to contain himself. He had been avoiding Fushimi just about all week by keeping himself busy, so they hadn’t had many chances to talk face to face outside of work related things.
Seeing Fushimi up close with a light flush and his hair slightly sweaty from practice was not helping him any, his mouth going dry. He had always thought Fushimi was attractive, but now the word held an entirely different meaning, his heart thundering in his chest. It had him feeling weak in the knees as he continued to look at him and Yata couldn’t help but suddenly be grateful he’d decided to sit down.
He couldn’t believe how much of a difference realizing his feelings would make. Everything about Fushimi only seemed to stand out more than it ever had before, every small detail catching his eye.
“I wonder why,” Fushimi replies in his usual drawling tone, “What with how much you were moving around today.” Glancing over to Yata, he offers a lazy smirk, “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were a robot. There’s no way a normal person can have so much energy.”
Ah. It had only been a week, but he had missed this. That smile and those annoying, teasing remarks. Amongst all the new things he’d faced recently, this was one thing that he was sure would never change.
“Che, whatever. Not my fault I have so much energy.” Crossing his arms, Yata huffs, “Unlike some people.”
Fushimi hums to himself before reciprocating, “Well, some of us don’t channel our frustrations through dancing.”
With that, Yata freezes. Frustrations?
“The hell’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, the sudden accusation leaving him on edge.
Shrugging, Fushimi keeps his gaze even. “Just that whenever you get like this, it means something’s on your mind.”
Shit. He should’ve known Fushimi would bring it up sooner or later with the way he’d been acting. Anyone would’ve noticed it was strange, especially someone as perceptive as Fushimi.
“That’s…” Yata mumbles, unsure of what to say.
Along with the revelation of his feelings, the idea of confessing had also crossed his mind. It was only a thought, but with Fushimi asking him about it… now would be the perfect time to bring it up. This was way too sudden! The whole situation was still new to him – it had only been a week, after all. Besides, how the hell was he going to tell his best friend that he’d realized he had a crush on him by watching his damn boyfriend videos of all things? It was mortifying. “I-It’s nothing! Really!”
Fushimi’s eyes narrow then. “So, you avoiding me all week has nothing to do with it, I’m guessing?”
“I-I wasn’t avoiding you! I was just busy – you know how things get!”
“Tsk, liar.” Sighing, Fushimi closes his eyes briefly before opening them again. “You’ve been acting weird ever since that show. I’m not the only one who thinks so, either.”
H-He noticed that?!
Breaking their gaze, Yata looks to the floor in embarrassment. This whole time he thought maybe he’d gotten away with at least that part, but apparently not. His face was burning at this point, the memories from that day replaying in his head. The moment he’d been hit with the idea that he might’ve liked Fushimi as more than friends… only to then confirm it later that day. He could feel the butterflies returning to him, threatening to break free.
Feeling Fushimi shift beside him, Yata’s eyes shoot open. “S-Saru?” He didn’t know what was going on anymore, but Fushimi was all too close to him. He could feel his breath on his face as they stared at each other, his eyes wide.
Is… this…
Instinctively, Yata’s eyes go lidded.
“Darling,” Fushimi says in a low voice, his eyes taking in Yata’s reaction.
Eyes bulging, Yata’s face heats up immediately at the sound of that. It was both in humiliation for completely misunderstanding what was happening along with the fact that Fushimi had just fucking calling him darling to his face.
“W-W-What the hell do you think you’re saying!?” He sputters, “T-That’s –”
Covering his mouth, Fushimi let’s out a snort. “So that’s really it, huh?”
“E-Eh?”
“You’ve been acting weird because of that, right? You’re so simple, Misaki.” Lowering his hand, Fushimi offers a small smile, “You’re such a virgin that even pet names get to you, hm?”
What. The hell. Was going on.
He didn’t know why, but he could feel himself begin to snap in that moment. “Hah?!” Yata exclaims, the volume of his voice making Fushimi’s eyes widen. “You think I was acting weird b-because of that? ‘Cause of some damn word?!”
Furrowing his brow, Fushimi eyes him, “Am I wrong?”
For someone so smart Fushimi was honestly so dense.
This is fucking ridiculous!
“Yeah, you fucking are, dumbass!”
Looking surprised at Yata’s sudden fervor, Fushimi blinks at him in shock. “Misaki…”
As usual, his emotions had won over his rationality and before he can stop himself, the words come tumbling out of his mouth, “It’s not about the damn word! Or – it’s not entirely b-because of it!” Running his fingers through his hair, Yata takes a deep breath before rambling, “It’s because you said it! Because I-I… fucking liked it. A lot. I-I liked it so damn much that I-I realized that I…” Watching Fushimi’s wide-eyed reaction, Yata forces the words out, “I wanted something like that with you, damn it!”
“Misaki…” Fushimi whispered, sounding almost breathless. “What are you say–”
“I’m saying that I... l-l-like your stupid ass, that’s what!”
With the words now fully out, the two of them stare at each other in a silence. Yata’s whole body was hot and his palms were sweating, his mind moving a mile a minute.
What the hell did I just do?
He hadn’t meant to say all that and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to face the consequences. If Fushimi didn’t feel the same way, what was he going to do then? He could’ve just put everything they had in danger, all because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.
Looking to the ground, Yata murmurs, “I-It’s fine if you don’t feel the same way. I know it’s really sudden and… I dunno weird, probably, so it’s whatever…”
“Misaki.” For the second time, Yata feels Fushimi inch closer. “Do… you mean that?”
Snapping his head up, Yata meets Fushimi’s gaze once more. “Are you fucking serious?” He was surprised as he registered the earnest look in Fushimi’s eyes then, the irritation of being doubted leaving him in an instant. Fushimi looked both uncertain and hopeful at the same time, the view making Yata’s throat tighten up. “Y-Yeah. I mean it. I… I really like you.” Biting his lip, Yata forces himself to continue, “I only just noticed it but, I think I’ve liked you for a really long time. I-I might even…” Sucking in a breath, Yata lets it all out along with his words, “l-love you.”
They were quiet again, before Yata feels the need to explain himself further, “I’ve been avoiding you because I didn’t know how to act after I realized. I wasn’t sure if I should say anything or not… if it would ruin things.” Letting out a dry laugh, he shakes his head. “But then your dumbass had to go and make me think you were gonna k-kiss me, only to say some stupid shit! Of course, I’d lose my cool and confess without meaning to!”
“Kiss you?”
“Y-Yeah. What else was I supposed to think when you get up in my face like that?!”
“Hm… you must really like me if you’re thinking things like that.”
Hearing Fushimi repeat what he’d just said makes his face flush. “O-Of course I do. I wouldn’t lie about that!”
“Then, if that’s the case this shouldn’t be a problem, right?”
Before Yata gets a chance to ask what Fushimi means by that, he feels himself being pulled forward suddenly. He couldn’t help but yelp in surprise by the action, Fushimi catching him off guard.
Fushimi had clumsily pressed his lips to his, the action being both firm to show his sincerity, but also gentle enough that Yata knew he could pull away if he wanted to, not trapping him by any means. Fushimi felt warm against him, the soft press of his lips being absolutely satisfying. Without thinking, one of Yata’s hands moves to the back of Fushimi’s neck as his fingers tangle in the soft black locks. Fushimi begins to move as well, his hands gripping onto Yata’s hips.
The kiss lasts only but a moment before they pull back. Fushimi’s eyes were half-mast and his face was flushed a tantalizing pink. Yata felt like he could look at that face for hours, his chest filling up with warmth.
“Holy shit,” Yata breathed. “That was – fucking awesome.”
Huffing a light laugh, Fushimi gives Yata an amused look. “It was only a kiss.”
“The hell? It’s not ‘only a kiss’ you fuck! Quit trying to play it off!”
“Is that what I’m doing?”
“You are!” Suddenly feeling bashful, Yata purses his lips, “It was my first one, after all…”
“Virgin.”
“W-Wha –” Frowning, Yata doesn’t fall for it. “It was your first kiss too!”
“And how do you know that?”
“Eh?” Pausing for a moment, Yata thinks about it. They never really talked about stuff like that, but Fushimi had never showed any interest in things like romance, so he’d just assumed. “It was, right?!”
“Would you be jealous if it wasn’t?”
What the hell was this, an interrogation?
Eyebrow twitching, Yata doesn’t even try to hide the frustration in his voice, “You know, you’re acting pretty damn normal for someone who just got confessed to. You… you didn’t even give me an answer.”
“I thought it was pretty obvious,” Fushimi says. “Or is a kiss not straightforward enough for you? We could always do more, if that’s the case…”
Another blush blooms onto Yata’s face at the insinuation. “D-Don’t go saying shit like that, asshole!” He really didn’t need thoughts like that in his mind, he already felt like his heart was about to burst as it was. “I’m being serious, Saru. I-I meant what I said and… I wanna hear you say it too.”
The grip on his hips tighten then as Fushimi seems to brace himself. He looked slightly tense, but his voice remained level, “I... About Misaki.” Catching onto those blue eyes, Yata’s breath hitches when the words reach his ears. “I feel the same. All of it.”
It wasn’t an ‘I love you’, but for Fushimi, it might as well have been.
“Saruhiko,” Yata gasps, softly. Brushing Fushimi’s bangs back with his fingers, Yata watches as Fushimi peers up at him through his lashes. They move together mutually then, the soft press of Fushimi’s lips on his own. It felt even better than the first time, their emotions and feelings intertwining.
Breaking the kiss, Fushimi offers one of Yata’s favorite smiles. “My darling.”
Surprised, Yata stares in shock for a beat before letting out a light laugh. “Heh, shut the hell up.” Even as he said that, Yata couldn’t help but smile as he pulled Fushimi into another kiss.
Reality was certainly better than fiction.