Archive of Our Own ^beta

Its late, at least to be at a café, but they don't close and its almost ten o’clock at night and Changbin needs twenty ounces of straight caffeine injected directly into his bloodstream, stat. He has a song to compose, and he can’t be seen falling asleep at his computer mid composition.

The line is surprisingly long for the time of night, so he ends up standing in wait for a good five minutes. When the customer in front of him moves away to reveal his barista, Changbin can already tell that the night is going to be a long one.

People speak of staring at someone as if they were the sun is one of the most romantic way you could look at someone, but Changbin begs to differ. The barista is handsome. Almost blindingly so, Changbin just barely holding himself back from scrunching his face unattractively into a squint like how one would do while looking at the big obnoxious ball of hot gas burning in the sky, because no one wants that kind of fucked up glare being directed towards them. He has a hard-enough time making his expression looking approachable, he doesn’t want the barista thinking that he’s gonna rob the place.

He’s tall, taller than Changbin at least, and his hair is bleached. It’s the kind of brassy color someone with naturally dark hair gets if they didn’t use a strong enough lightener, and his black roots are long enough to assume that he's had that color for a while now but isn’t planning on re-dyeing it. He tilts his head and the crucifix earring he has on catches in the fluorescent lighting, and when he smiles almost confusedly his cheeks bunch up around his eyes and Changbin realizes three things in that moment.

The first and most important thing is that he has fucking freckles, and they only suit to enhance his attractiveness, which it is downright unfair that he gets to look this good at ten o’clock at night while Changbin's wearing an old oversized black sweatshirt that isn’t black anymore that he’s practically drowning in and a pair of worn ripped jeans sporting vague stains. The second thing is that Handsome Barista had said something to him and that his voice is deep as Fuck, so deep that Changbin can practically feel it reverberate in his own chest. The third is that he has most definitely been staring at Handsome Barista for way longer than necessary for it to be considered polite or go unnoticed, and he can feel his throat closing in on itself as he struggles to not break out into a panic.

“Um,” His voice breaks and he has to conceal a wince. “What?”

Handsome Barista smiles as if he's endeared, as if this is something cute and not something that makes Changbin wish that the floor would open and swallow him whole, but to each their own, or whatever. He leans forward on his palm propped up on the table. “I said,” He begins, smile turned something teasing. “What would you like? Something that’s on the menu at least,”

Changbin can feel his face melting in real time and clears his throat, risking a glance to Handsome Barista's name tag - ‘Felix’, is written in chicken-scratch, and Changbin repeats the name in his head like a mantra- before squinting at the big board hanging on the wall behind Felix that’s covered in several types of coffee orders. He knows what he wants and what he wants is something sugary enough to fucking kill him but there’s no way he’s going to ruin his brooding image by indulging his sweet tooth. He has a reputation to uphold, of course. Trying to keep his face as neutral and room temperature as possible, he still can’t help the faint scrunch of his nose when he orders, “Iced Americano. Large, please.”

Like Felix can just tell that Changbin doesn’t really want a large sized bitter ass cup of iced bean water, he raises his eyebrow as if to say, “are you sure?” and Changbin has never been less sure of anything in his life. Either way he shakes his head and fesses up the money. To pay he has to pull back his unintentional sweater-paw and stick his hand out holding the correct amount of cash. The bills are warmer than they should be and crinkled from being grasped in his sweaty and nervous hands for so long, but Felix just shrugs with a smile when he receives them and goes to work on the beverage.

He goes to take a seat at one of the barstools at the end of the counter, right next to the pick-up station. Its just so he doesn’t have to move much when his order is done. Not so he can ogle Felix without the other being too conscious of him looking, no. Changbin’s too busy staring at Felix's hands as he works to notice what exactly is being put in his drink, and so when its handed to him he thinks nothing of it when Felix stares in wait for him to take a sip. Nothing looks wrong with his drink, so he puts the straw between his lips and takes a big gulp, preparing his taste buds for extreme bitterness. He’s pleasantly surprised and confused when instead of it being a good ole cup of death in his hands, its lightly sweetened like there had been a syrupy flavor added.

He looks at Felix's awaiting face and frowns as the realization dawns on him, even though he clutches the cup of caffeine and sugar closer to his body. “This isn’t what I ordered,” He mumbles, straw still in his mouth. Its still not the sweetness level he wants it to be at, but its enough to satisfy his needs for now.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Felix exclaims in faux surprise, hand positioned right in front of his mouth. He's not too bad of an actor, Changbin thinks. “Do you want me to make what you asked for?”

Changbin quickly decides that the cons outweigh the pros of switching out his moderately sugared drink with something from the depths of hell, and shakes his head, still clutching the cup in his hands. He may or may not have only slept for four hours in the past two days and he needs an extra little sugared kick. Felix grins and does that ‘I'm Interested In What You Have To Say' lean thing on the counter again and the ice in Changbin’s cup rattle as he grips his fingers hard into the plastic. Felix wiggles his eyebrows. “Honestly, you looked like you wanted to vomit when you ordered. I'm pretty good at reading people, so I assumed you wouldn’t be too upset with your little adjustment.”

Changbin opens his mouth to say yes, he’s right but he shouldn’t go around messing with people's orders without asking, but before the words even begin to come out of his mouth some older looking boy with grey hair comes over behind Felix and whacks him on the back of the head with a plastic take-out cup. “Stop flirting with the customers and get back to work,” The stranger says. 'Chan' is written neatly on his name tag. Changbin didn’t know someone could look so incredibly classy and well put together while also looking haggard and at wits end all at the same time, but somehow Chan makes it work. Chan looks from Felix's face -which is reddening at an extreme rate, its as cute as it is alarming- and moves his glare to Changbin. His eyes soften, and he gives him the customer-service-worker brand Exhausted But Peppy Smile and then goes to drag Felix away, all the while bickering in heavily accented English.

Changbin sits in the same place uncomfortably, nursing his slowly watering coffee drink in silence. He sees something written on the side of his cup and chokes mid swallow. 'Sugarplum' is written in lieu of his name in the same sloppy, nearly illegible penmanship as Felix's name tag, next to it drawn is a tiny lopsided smiley face. The name is obviously a joke played on Changbin's bitter order, but he can’t help the flush on his cheeks or the stutter in his chest at it. He wants to die, he can’t be getting a crush on some flirty barista he met not even a half an hour ago.

Changbin continues to go the café at random hours of the day, never really planned. Somehow, he still manages to align his schedule with Felix's, and it’s a nice coincidence. They don’t really interact besides Changbin giving his order and Felix tampering with the drink, and he still writes Sugarplum on the side of his cup. Changbin hasn’t told him his name.

One-time Changbin comes to the café, its earlier in the day and Felix isn’t there manning the cash register like Changbin is used to. In his place is a sweet looking boy wearing a small but genuine smile with tired eyes, his name tag reading ‘Minho' in tiny but easy to read handwriting; he’s struck with the thought that he has heard this name before. After quietly mumbling his order (one large Iced Americano) he goes to sit at one of the back tables instead of sitting at a barstool like he usually would.

Minho calls his order and Changbin grabs his drink then heads out on his way to his apartment. As he’s walking he takes a big gulp from the coffee. Regret. The bitter taste fills his mouth and he recoils, used to the syrup that Felix adds to his order, and manages to choke it down before breaking out into a coughing fit. He wipes at his mouth with the black fabric that covers his palm, how did he ever survive before Felix? “What- What the fuck,”

“Too bitter?”

Changbin shouts, almost dropping his coffee, and looks up at the person who spoke to him. Its Felix, he's standing beside him holding a drink in his hand, too. He smiles down at Changbin and switches their drinks, then puts his arm over his shoulders. “Jesus,” Changbin says and puts his free hand on his chest. “You scared me. Where did you…?”

Felix hums a laugh while taking a sip of Changbin's cup and pats his shoulder. “I passed by you when you walked out, ordered as quick as I could and then chased after you.” He leans to knock his head against Changbin's. “Did you not see me? I walked right past you,”

Changbin has no idea how he could’ve missed him. He's not exactly short and he stands out, what with his freckles and blonde hair- And oh, so that’s what’s different. “You changed your hair,” Changbin says in awe, eyes wide as he stares up at the boy. It’s a warm, soft shade of brown, and it makes his eyes look even darker than normal and his freckles stand out against his skin. “Its…” He swallows. “It looks good,”

It looks more good, if he’s honest with himself. He looks... Kinda hot.

Oh no.

“Really?” Felix asks and when he grins his eyes sparkle in the sunlight and oh no. He takes his hand back from Changbin’s shoulder to run his fingers through his styled bangs and he looks shy and his cheeks are pink and oh no. “I was worried people would only like me because I’m blonde,”

Changbin shakes his head quickly and curses himself as he mourns the loss of the warmth that Felix's arm brought. “No!” He flushes at how loud and eager that sounded and clears his throat, trying to look nonchalant as he crosses his arms. “I mean- No, it looks really good, man.”

Ah yes, adding 'man' to the end of a sentence, the universal, unspoken no homo. Changbin cringes.

Felix’s smile gets even bigger, if possible and Changbin can feel the blush spread even farther across his face. His ears burn. He takes a sip of his new coffee to calm himself down. Its sweet, and he smiles back. “Thank you, Sugarplum.” He says and runs through his hair again and god, how can someone be so gorgeous and so adorable at the same time?

Changbin chokes on his drink, inhaling a huge gulp, and gags. He'd completely forgotten that Felix literally does not know his real name. There's also the fact that Felix had never said fucking 'Sugarplum' with his actual voice, audibly, in real life, 100% directed towards Changbin and not written on a goddamn plastic cup. “Fuck, I am going to die.” Felix rubs his back gently as his body wracks with his coughs, his palm hot, large and heavy through the thin material of his shirt.

“Should I give you a warning next time?” Felix asks, and fuck him, because when he looks up bleary eyed he’s wearing a shit eating grin, eyebrows wiggling suggestively. “Are you shy, Sugarplum?”

Changbin gives up and crouches down close to the ground, iced coffee cold hands pressing into his cheeks. He would murder Felix if he weren’t currently suffering from The Death himself. “I'm dying.” He says, voice muffled by his palms. He's pretty sure that Felix can tell how red his face is, seeing as his ears were so hot they felt like they were going to fall off. “I'm actually dying, Felix. Fuck you, I hate you, oh my god,”

“You can’t hate me, you like me too much,” Felix says and the look in his eyes says that he knows he’s right, and he is. But then he does something that makes Changbin reconsider liking him. “Ay!”

“Did you just- …Did you just fucking dab?” Changbin is really reconsidering liking Felix. All he does is laugh and dab again, like, three more times in quick succession. He looks too proud of himself. “Are you sure that I like you too much?”

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure,” Felix kneels in front of Changbin and takes his hands from his face, holding them in his own bigger, warmer ones. Changbin never really thought his hands were small until this moment; he doesn’t think his face will ever be its natural color ever again, he can’t handle this kind of emotional whiplash. “Wow your hands are cold. Are you cold? C'mon, stand up.”

Of course, Changbin is cold, and the glare on his face says just that. The last dregs of winter are still upon them and he is an idiot who didn’t wear warmer clothes on his little coffee run. Felix jumps up, tugging on Changbin’s hands. “Up, up,” He then takes off one of his jackets and then removes his hoodie to reveal a long-sleeved shirt. He hands him the hoodie. “Here.”

“What? No,” Changbin really fucking wants to wear that hoodie. He wants it with his entire being but if he does he might physically combust. “Won’t you be cold, stupid?”

Felix pays no mind to the insult and shakes the hoodie enticingly, grinning widely at him. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I am a very warm person,” Changbin has, whenever he's within a two-foot radius of the boy he feels like he's inside of a sauna in the middle of August. Then again, that could have to do with the whole Crush thing. “I'm actually kind of sweltering right now, so really you'd be doing me a solid by holding onto this for me.”

Changbin stares at Felix for a moment, eyes switching from his welcoming face to his hand that’s still swinging the hoodie back and forth. He pinches his nose and sighs, acting as if this was taking a physical toll on him (it is) and takes the hoodie from Felix's hand. “Fine,” He says and pulls the thick shirt over his head. He vaguely remembers that they’re doing this in the middle of the sidewalk only ten feet from Felix's workplace. Only once its on his body does he realize its fucking Dayglow orange with a puke yellow stripe going through the middle. He pulls the hood onto his head to cover his still red ears. “Oh, wow this is ugly.”

His head snaps up when he hears a snort from above him and Felix is bent over, trying to muffle his giggles into his fist and Changbin hates how adorable he looks like that. Felix straightens up and nods, still trying to not bust out laughing. “Yeah, yeah it is.”

“Okay, well…” Changbin looks away and makes a gesture to turn. “I kinda gotta… Go,”

“Oh, yeah, no I gotta get back to work.”

Changbin whips back and punches Felix in the arm. “You’re supposed to be on the clock right now? What the fuck, get back to work!”

Felix just laughs again because he’s just that bright of a person and brushes Changbin’s worries with a shove back to his arm. “Don’t worry, Chan's not there and Minho is more lax when it comes to matters of the heart,”

He almost drops his coffee for the second time and squints up at Felix, not sure if he heard right, or if he did and what that was supposed to mean.

“Anyways, I gotta go-” Felix is halfway turned to bolt but Changbin grabs his arm. He's not too sure why he does but he did it. “Uh,”

“Changbin,” He says, deciding this moment isn’t embarrassing enough. “My name is Changbin.”

Felix stares back at him with wide, blank eyes, mouth agape and Changbin can’t help but feel like somehow, he’s done something wrong. He rips his hand back like he’s been burned and takes a step back. He brushes himself off and pulls the strings of the hoodie to tighten the hood for effect, and then he’s turning tail and leaving, because apparently, they’re taking turns trying to run away. He's not even half way home before he finishes his coffee.

What he doesn’t see is Felix's bright red face staring after him.

Changbin bursts into his shared apartment with shaking hands and even shakier breathing. His chest aches with each expand of breath. He doesn’t really know why he’s freaking out about this, but anxiety is a bitch and life hates him, so he assumes this is fair. The caffeine and sugar in his system doesn’t help either, probably. Jisung is in their shared room eating a sandwich on his bed and usually Changbin would get on him for doing that because he’s just going to end up complaining about how his bed is full of crumbs, but he's also a bit preoccupied. Jisung shoots up and shoves the rest of his sandwich into his mouth in one big bite and at the next second is at Changbin’s side, hands hovering around his shoulders. Changbin nods and now Jisung's got his hands on him leading him to his own bed, sitting him down and rubbing his back, reminding Changbin of earlier and he shakes the palm off of him with a stuttered breath.

Jisung gets the hint and puts his hand on his knee instead, because he’s the kind of person who comforts through touch, and Changbin appreciates the changed area of contact. His thumb continues rubbing calming circles on his knee, and when he speaks his naturally loud voice is lowered to a softer volume, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Changbin nods. “Y-Yeah, I just need a minute,” He takes a deep breath, making sure to fill the entirety of his lungs, then slowly lets it go. He takes another few minutes to calm down completely, Jisung continuing to draw tiny circles on his knee with his thumb. He faces Jisung. “Okay, I'm good. I have a crush on somebody,”

Jisung's face turns into one of pure surprise, wide-eyed with raised eyebrows and mouth opened into an 'o' shape. “Really?” He leans forward excitedly, using his hand on his knee as leverage. He tilts his head to the side, its cute, and Changbin thinks that if they hadn’t been friends for so long he most likely would’ve had a crush on Jisung instead. “Isn’t that a good thing, though?”

Changbin winces and does a half and half gesture with his hand, shrugging. “Kind of? I haven’t had a crush since that one girl in sixth grade, back when I thought I had to like girls. So technically that wasn’t even a real crush,”

“What’s he like?”

What is this, a sleepover? Changbin snorts lightly at the thought and shrugs again. “Uh, well for starters, he's probably the most handsome boy I’ve ever seen. And you know STAY Coffeehouse? Well, he's a barista there-”

Jisung scrambles off of the bed immediately, grabs his pillow off of his own bed, and slams Changbin on the head. “No,”

“What the fuck, Jisung?” Changbin hisses, rubbing at the back of his head. It didn’t hurt but he’s still confused.

He sits back on the bed with the pillow in his lap. “Sorry, but me and Minho have chemistry. I'm on the dance team because of him, you can’t do this to me,” His eyes are big and pleading and Changbin has no idea who the hell he’s talking about.

“I have no idea who the hell you’re talking about,” Changbin says, softly gripping Jisung's shoulders. “What's a Minho-” His mind flashes back to earlier today and his different barista. “Oh! Tired boy! Damn, I thought he was gonna pass out on me.”

“He always looks happy and excited to see me, though… I wonder if he’s okay,” Jisung says, looking ready to jump right up off the bed and out the door to haul ass to the café, and Changbin jostles him again. Jisung shakes his head back and forth. “Okay, okay, no. This is about you, not Minho, not me, you. Okay. So, what’s the boy who stole my dear emo Changbin's dark heart like?”

“He’s… He’s kind of weird and… Flirty? He's- He hit on me and then he dabbed,” He's tripping over his words a bit because he’s trying not to choke on his laughter. “Jisung, he hit on me and then he dabbed in the same sentence, and oh- That’s another thing! I don’t know if he’s hitting on me because he likes me or if he’s just like That. I'm dying, Jisung,”

Jisung laughs at that, laughs so hard that he falls off of the bed again. “Ow,” He continues laying on the floor, pillow flung just out of his reach. Its silent for a few minutes before Jisung speaks up again. “I say go for it.”

“You say a lot of things,” Changbin mumbles while fiddling with the hoodie strings. He likes the hoodie, even though its an atrocity to god. It’s warm, and the scent is familiar like laundry detergent and ground coffee beans; Changbin for once doesn’t want to gag at the bitter smell of it. He squints at Jisung. “In fact, I don’t think you’re ever not saying things.”

“Okay, first of all, rude, second of all, we're not talking about my motor mouth. We're talking about more important topics such as where the fuck you got that sweatshirt. Its ugly as sin and I want one,” Jisung lifts his head from the ground, and multiple chins form under his face. “Is it even yours?”

Changbin tugs harder on the strings making the hood close tighter around his face. “...Its Felix's,”

“Oh, so we have a name!” Jisung sits up completely, a dangerous smirk across his lips that makes Changbin have to refrain from squirming uncomfortably. “Wait, Felix? Never mind, I know exactly who you’re talking about, now. Tall, freckled, and has a voice deeper than the marinara trench?”

“Mariana Trench, and yes, that's him.”

Jisung kicks up one of his legs and begins caressing Changbin's arm with his foot. “Honey, you’ve got a big storm coming,”

Changbin rips his arm away with a shudder. “I don’t trust you.” Jisung keeps smiling and Changbin has a sick sense of dread filling his chest.

Changbin is dragged out of his bed by an excitable Jisung earlier than should be considered legal. It's 9:30 on a Saturday morning when he didn’t even want to be disturbed until 1:00 in the afternoon and Jisung is pulling wildly on his arm, declaring loudly that he just suddenly remembered he has a routine he needs to show Changbin at his dance practice, right now, immediately. He throws on Felix's hoodie (he reasons that he can just clean it when he gets home, its not like he'll be seeing Felix around anywhere) and runs a brush through his hair resulting in him looking unruffled but somewhat fluffy, so he puts a baseball style cap on his head then pulls the hood over that. Fashion. The feeling of dread has yet to leave his chest but no matter how much he says that he doesn’t trust Jisung, he really does, so he follows after Jisung anyways.

Jisung is a liar and a bitch and Changbin is never trusting him fully ever again. They arrive at the studio that Jisung's dance team practices in and Changbin's heart simultaneously threatens to choke him and fall out of his ass at the same time. See, Changbin has never actually been invited to loiter around at one of Jisung's practices, the latter saying that he would be a distraction, which means Changbin has never met the rest of the members of the dance team.

Which means Changbin never knew Felix was a member of the dance team.

Changbin pulls Jisung aside, snarling a harsh “I thought you cherished being alive,” into his ear. Felix has yet to notice them as he's too caught up in the routine staring determinedly ahead of him, dancing in sharp, practiced movements; he’s dancing along to the blasting music in his ear buds. The look on his face is more than a little intimidating and Changbin hits his chest to try and make his heart stop fluttering.

“Hey, guys!” Changbin tries to make a break for it in that moment but he was too late, Jisung had already caught the rest of the groups attention. Besides Felix there’s two other members, Minho, who Changbin was already acquainted with, and another boy who’s taller than all of them (“Hyunjin,” Jisung whispers next to him). Felix has yet to notice their arrival, still staring himself down in the mirror and Changbin really wishes he could’ve made his break for it. Hyunjin smacks Felix on the shoulder and gestures over in their direction when he glares confusedly at the taller.

Felix's head snaps over to look at them and Changbin’s whole entire body tenses, chest tightening, but then he’s shooting him the brightest smile he’s ever seen from someone who looks like they’re having an asthma attack coated in fifty flavors of sweat at 10:15 in the morning. He pushes past Minho and Hyunjin, excitably rushing over and stopping near Changbin but not too close, keeping a safe distance away. He pauses, like he wants to do something but has now lost the courage to do so, clasping his hands in front of him. He ducks his head down, looking away.

“Hello gang,” Jisung lifts up his hand in salute, and then points to Changbin. “This is my producer friend I told y’all about. His name is Changbin. Do not let his resting bitch face scare you, he’s just soft and emo like the rest of us.”

He waves lamely, “Hi.”

Everyone gives a similar bland sort of greeting- Besides Felix, who greets him happy and earnest, waving overzealously from where he stands, almost whacking himself in the face. “Hi Changbin! Its nice seeing you again.”

Hyunjin looks between them with a small tilt of his head. “You two know each other?” Felix nods while Changbin continues to stare silently and nervously at him.

Jisung, of course, must open his big mouth. “Yeah, they really know each other-” Changbin cuts him off with an elbow to his ribs and after Jisung is done being doubled over coughing his lungs out, he goes over to join Hyunjin away from where he might be physically attacked.

Minho stares off into the distance for a moment before perking, grinning like the cat who caught the canary. He makes eye contact with Changbin, mouthing ‘Sugarplum?’ and Changbin lets out a loud and surprised half-cough half-choke.

Felix takes a few steps closer to Changbin, everyone else in the room leaning forward in an attempt to eavesdrop in a way that is trying to be subtle but is not subtle at all.

“You look nice,” He mutters.

Changbin looks down at his outfit with a start because oh fuck he's wearing Felix's Atrocity To God hoodie that makes his body seem twice as small as it is. His throat closes so tight on a choke that he can’t breathe, face turning red. His gaze flicks to Jisung who’s shaking Hyunjin back and forth in pure stress, completely invested in what is happening while he nods his head in what should be an encouraging manner, but it mostly looks like he’s having a fit. Changbin turns back to Felix who’s staring at him in that same wide eyed, truly interested manner he had looked at him with the first time they met, and he fiddles with the sleeves of the hoodie. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen anyone this happy to be in his presence before. Thinking of something to say he takes off his hat and ruffles his hair nervously. He opens his mouth, saying the first thing that comes to his mind which admittedly wasn’t too charming.

“Of course, I do; its your shirt,” Gag him with a spork, never let him speak again. What the fuck did he mean by that? Felix tilts his head and Changbin can’t tell whether he looks endeared-confused or grossed out-confused, so he jumps to amend his previous statement by saying something worse. “I was going to return it to the next time I see you, which is right now, I guess, but I’m not wearing a shirt under this.”

Jisung is shaking Hyunjin wildly in his despair as the taller smacks his forehead repeatedly, beyond them Minho lays distraught on the ground. Changbin contemplates slamming his head against the wall in hopes of knocking himself unconscious when Felix snorts, throwing head back cackling. He sighs and wipes a tear out of his eye and smiles that big, beautifully bright smile of his before he pats Changbin’s head, still giggling. He murmurs a soft 'Cute', ruffling his fingers gently through his hair and then stalks off to join the rest of the dance team; they’re all posed in a way that Changbin can assume someone said 'Act natural' before pulling the most unnatural pose possible, thinking they’re acting inconspicuous. Jisung has a leg poised up ramrod straight, Hyunjin poses model-like in front of the mirror, and Minho still lays on the ground but now its more Paint Me Like One Of Your French Girls swank than I’ve Just Been Murdered And You’re Now Stumbling Across My Body chic.

What is wrong with him, Changbin usually hates being called cute or when people pat his head (Jisung does it on occasion if he’s feeling especially brave), he thinks it patronizing because of his smaller height. If Felix is the one doing it, though, he apparently turns into a flustered pile made up of gooey affections and sweat, as his knees seem to be jello and he can’t move. He sends a panicked look to Jisung, the younger rushing over guiding him to a corner of the room to sit and watch. He misses Felix walking up to Hyunjin, quietly saying 'I'm going to die'.

Hyunjin pats Felix's shoulder then gets up and connects his phone to the music player across the room next to the mirror-wall. Everyone meets in the middle to stand in position as the music starts up. Wait a minute, Changbin knows this song- This is Changbin’s song, one that he composed. He vaguely remembers staying up three nights in a row -its because of this that he met Felix, going on a coffee run so he didn’t fall asleep while working- Jisung had said he didn’t have enough time to work on one, what with schooling and the dance team, so Changbin had taken it upon himself to produce a song for him as any good best friend with musical talent would do. The song currently is an instrumental for now filled with heavy bass and some electric guitar layered underneath (he'd asked his friend Woojin if he could sample his playing, the older readily agreeing) he has lyrics written for it, but he’s never found the right voice for it. The song itself is dark and sharp, the dancers’ movements even sharper, the whole thing captivating to watch.

The dance is over as soon as it started, Changbin feeling like he’d held his breath the entire time. He thinks he may be falling even harder for Felix and even though the others had performed too, his eyes never strayed from him. He really wants to kiss him. Even though Felix is gross and probably smells like sweat and hard work, he wants to walk over, loop his arms around his neck and grip his fingers in his dark sweaty hair, planting a fat wet one on his lips, maybe nuzzle their noses together as they pull away and he’ll say something mushy like 'You’re amazing' and Felix will respond with something equally disgusting like 'You're the amazing one' while the rest of their little group gag at their fantastic public display of affection. But that doesn’t happen, because they’re not together and Felix does not like him; the entire scene had played out so vividly, so sweetly in Changbin’s mind that he can almost feel his tooth ache with a cavity.

Minho falls into a squat near Changbin, leaning in close and stage whispering “So, what'd you think?” He’s obviously excited for whatever Changbin’s opinion is. “I'm in charge of choreography,” He clarifies. “I hope I did your song justice- I'm very thankful to you for producing it, and to Jisung for even getting the idea.”

Felix slides onto the ground next to Changbin out of nowhere, throwing his arm around his shoulder and getting extremely close into his personal space. He smells like coffee and arduous work. “You made that?” Changbin nods and Felix brightens even further, if possible. “That’s amazing!”

Changbin takes off his hat and runs his fingers through his fluffed-up hair, nodding, and only when he looks up does he realize how close they are. He lets out a garbled ‘Meep’ noise that sounded more like a drowned cat than human. Minho watches them closely with a small smile.

“Uh,” He gulps, being this close to Felix is really bad for his heart he’s coming to find, and he can’t stop staring at his lips. “Your dancing is what was amazing.”

Felix's grin is even more beautiful up close and Changbin wants to kiss him again. If Minho weren’t there he might’ve and for that he’s thankful. The scenario continues to play in his mind for hours.

Changbin is now home alone, laying on his bed having a very intense staring contest with his ceiling. He’s tired bored out of his mind- After the dance practice had ended a few hours later Jisung said he wanted to go and third wheel over at Hyunjin and his boyfriend Seungmin’s apartment, leaving Changbin alone with only Gyu and his thoughts. His phone that was lying next to his head buzzes multiple times making his brain rattle. Speak of the devil.

From: J. One

i still cant fuckign believe you . what the fuck

you told him, to his face, that ur not wearing anything under his sweatshirt

no tiddie protector no barrier no nothin !

and instead of being weirded the hell out he was endeared as Fuck??? he called you CUTE!!!!!

looked like he was boutta spell tuna sub backwards

why cant i find me a man as whipped @ minho wyd

To: J. One

Die.

From: J. One

listen . dont even TRY to be hard ur so soft for him

To: J. One

Not even.

...

Shut up.

From: J. One

PLEASE u melted faster than mcdonalds soft serve Bye

To: J. One

Please choke.

From: J. One

srry im not into that

To: J. One

I will kill you with my own two hands. Blocked and reported. Get out of my house.

From: J. One

fuck you im valid

ily too sweaty. smooches

gn ! :) <3

To: J. One

…

Sleep well. <3

He watches the time pass on the little clock at the top right corner of his screen.

12:34 am

12:35 am

Fuck it.

Changbin sits up in his bed and throws off his sheets, Gyu flying off the mattress and somewhere onto the floor. He pulls on that fuck ugly hoodie over the plain black t-shirt he wore to bed and doesn’t even bother with a hat. He stalks into his living room grabbing his wallet, keys, and stuffs his feet into Jisung’s Hamtaro slippers.

Changbin starts the somewhat long trek to the café, humming to himself trying to keep his mind off of how he’s alone at almost one in the morning walking the empty streets. He wishes he would’ve brought his earbuds, but the hoodie resting heavy on his shoulders provides a warm sort of safety. The slippers on his feet drag against the concrete making an echoing sort of scrape noise as a backdrop to his nervous breathing, and he gives a sigh of relief when he finally reaches his saving grace, STAY Coffeehouse.

He looks at his reflection in the window, hair fluffy and unkempt, sticking up at one side and he regrets forgoing a hat. His cheeks are flushed from exertion but the bags under his eyes give way to how exhausted he is. “What a mess,” He whispers to himself before walking the rest of the way to the entrance and pushes open the door.

Its completely empty on the inside, besides Felix who is manning the register- Or more like he should be, as he’s slumped over the counter, head resting on his arms. He’s snoring loud, sounding like an actual lawnmower but Changbin can’t help but find it adorable, the tightness in his throat lessening and lessening the closer he gets to Felix. He’s out of it, Changbin notices, bags heavy and bruise purple beneath his eyes, his cheeks pale and unsaturated making his freckles stand out even more against his skin. Vigorous dance practice followed by work must be tiring and Changbin hums worriedly, reaching out and running his fingers through Felix's dark hair and the younger boy groans softly in his sleep, pressing his head closer to his hand. He doesn’t notice the smile on his face until his cheeks begin to ache.

The door from leading from the kitchen to the main shop creaks open and Changbin whips back his hand as fast as he can, shoving it deep into the hoodie pocket. It’s Chan, Felix’s silver haired coworker who accused the boy of flirting. Chan raises an eyebrow and Changbin’s face flushes red hot; he must’ve been caught in the act, but Chan says nothing of it. He looks at Felix and clicks his tongue before going back to Changbin.

“His shift ended around fifteen minutes ago, but I decided to let him sleep,” He pats Felix’s back lightly and frowns when he doesn’t even stir. “Poor boy has been getting less and less of it lately, I’m worried that my unhealthy habits are rubbing off on him.”

“Ah,”

“So,” Chan starts, plowing through Changbin’s awkwardness. “I’m guessing you’re the Changbin I never stop hearing of?”

Changbin, too startled to say anything else, only manages a shocked “He talks about me?” He thinks he’s starting to sweat.

Chan’s laugh is too awake sounding for what the time is. “He doesn’t shut up about you.” He shakes his head, still laughing under his breath. “What would you like to-”

Chan is cut off as Felix gives a loud groan, stretching his arms out and accidentally smacking Changbin in the stomach. They both jump and Felix grunts confusedly. Chan makes a break for it back to the kitchen, stage whispering “I was never here,” before the door swings shut behind him.

“Um…” Felix rubs at one of his eyes, still half asleep. “Hello MTV, and welcome to my crib. I mean, what would you like to order, Sugarplum?”

Changbin wants to laugh, he really does, but Felix’s voice is sleep-scratchy and deep, and it makes something in his gut clench. The fact that he used that stupid pet name isn’t helping, either, it just makes Changbin want to melt and become one with the floor. He clears his throat. “What I want is for you to get more sleep.”

He grins drowsily, eyes just barely open. “No can do, I’m a hard-working man. I’m gonna make your sugar shit, ‘kay?” His voice is slurred and accented but Changbin can’t tell where its from.

“'Kay.” He watches Felix as he works, body going through the motions despite being mentally asleep. “Chan told me your shift is over.”

Felix pauses. He then starts making another drink. “For myself,” He clarifies. When he’s finished he adds enough money to cover both despite Changbin’s protests and slips out from behind the counter. He passes Changbin his drink and unties the apron knotted around his waist one handed. Changbin shouldn’t find the action being done casually so stupidly attractive, but he really does.

“I'm ready to go, what about you?”

Changbin shrugs, “Yeah, why not.” He was planning on leaving with Felix whether the younger knew it or not.

“Cool, ‘aight Channie, I'm leaving!”

The only reply they hear is some clanging and pain-induced yelling. Must've dropped something. Chan pops his head out through the door and grins, pastry powder swiped all down the left side of his face and stray hairs standing straight up. “Goodnight kids, be safe.” Changbin raises an eyebrow while Felix looks completely unfazed as if this is a normal occurrence, and the more he thinks about it, it probably is. Chan waves in their direction, noticing his hesitance. “Hah, don’t mind me, a bit stressed ‘s all. Bye!” He pops back into the kitchen.

Felix goes to hold the door for him and a person passes through, Changbin bumps into them. “Woojin?”

The older turns around and smiles. He looks a bit windblown, his cheeks flushed from the frigid air. “Hi Changbin, Felix! Have a safe walk back, you two.” He disappears into the café with a wink and Chan rushes to greet him.

“You know that old man?” Changbin asks. Felix nods and takes the lid from his iced Americano and chugs it till its empty, Changbin watching in horror.

“Kind of? He just started coming in at ass o'clock in the morning. Next thing I know he’s showing up every morning- I’m glad he does, though. He makes Chan look less tired about everything.” He shrugs and wipes his mouth. He tosses the empty cup of death into a nearby trashcan and looks back to Changbin, who still stares in disgust. “What?”

“You’re absolutely vile.” He says.

“You’re just weak.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “It really is a small world though. He’s the one who did the guitar in my song you guys danced to today.”

“That’s so cool!” Felix’s smile is bright and awake like he hadn’t been dead asleep only ten minutes ago. “I’d never expect you to make music. It was so awesome, I can’t believe you did that!”

Changbin smirks, elbowing him in the side playfully. “What, did you think I just order coffee and melt into the void? I didn’t know you danced, either- Or that you'd be so good at it.”

He blushes and scratches at the back of his head. “Thanks. And- And I dunno, when you first came in you seemed cool and mysterious. Maybe you did illegal street art or something for all I knew.”

“Hey, I’m no hooligan. I only dress like one.”

“Yeah, I know that now. You’re actually a poser who just pretends to like black coffee so you can keep up with your image.” Changbin smacks him on the arm repeatedly, Felix's scream-laughter echoing loudly. “Fine! I take it back, I take it back!”

“Brat.” He takes a sip of his drink. He shakes the half-finished cup. “My tolerance has gotten way better though. Me a year ago wouldn't even drink this.”

“Are you kidding me, I add a cavity's worth of sugar every time I make it.” Changbin shakes his head and shrugs. “Why didn’t you ever say anything about it?”

“I dunno…” He mumbles and looks down, suddenly feeling flushed. “You’re just you and I’m shy. I’m still shy.”

They go silent and he doesn’t notice Felix staring at him. He does, however, notice when Felix trips (caused by him not paying attention because of the Staring At Changbin thing) and almost lands on his ass. Changbin luckily has semi quick reflexes and manages to grab his hand in time, pulling him back before he could fall. “Be careful.”

He smiles at Changbin not really seeming worried and squeezes his hand. They don’t let go of each other’s hands the entire walk until Changbin stops. They’ve reached his apartment complex and he winces, retreating his hand. “This is me. You live near here?”

The look on Felix's face says it all. He pauses wide eyed like he hadn’t thought of himself at all, which he probably didn’t, and now he’s just realizing it. “I live all the way across town.”

“Oh my god.”

“I wasn’t even paying attention.”

“Oh my god.”

Felix turns to leave, about to fucking book it. Changbin reaches out and grabs his hand again. “Uh-uh, what do you think you’re doing?”

Felix hooks his thumb over his shoulder. He tilts his head confusedly and his dangly crucifix earring catches in the moonlight. “Going home?”

“No. It is two in the god damn morning, you are not walking home alone.” He pulls him all the way to his apartment door and unlocks it.  “Get inside, idiot.”

“But-”

“I’m not offering, I’m demanding. If you don’t get into my fucking home right now I’m kicking your ass.”

Felix shuffles inside and tip toes off his fancy dark brown work shoes. “Bossy,” He quips. “Really though, thanks for this. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

“You’re not inconveniencing me any, chill. Jisung isn’t home anyways; if he were I’d feel bad for you.” He pulls the hamster slippers off his feet and leads the way to his and Jisung’s room. He sets the slippers on Jisung’s bed.

“Do you want me to take a bed or sleep on the couch or something?” Felix asks. Changbin almost feels bad for him with how awkward he seems.

“No, take mine. Jisung is a dirty fucking rat and never cleans his things.” He gestures to Jisung’s bed that was littered with Oreo and breadcrumbs. “I don’t even want him sleeping on it.”

Felix frowns and shuffles his feet awkwardly on the floor. “I can’t do that to you, man. What kind of guest would I be?” He looks so out of place in Changbin’s room wearing his work uniform; white dress shirt and black slacks, top two buttons of the shirt popped open and his hair is mussed up from its regular style. He just looks out of place in Changbin’s room in general. Changbin looks down at his fuzzy dark skull print pajama pants and can’t help but be inferior anyways.

“Felix. Get in the bed. Please. I want sleep. I'm begging you.”

He thinks for a moment before crossing his arms defiantly. He raises his chin. “I’ll get in the bed if you get in the bed.”

“What?”

“Share the bed with me.” Felix rocks back and forth on his feet obviously pleased, grinning like he’s won something. “You won’t let me sleep on the couch and I won’t let you sleep on the couch. Compromise.”

Changbin’s heart beats in his ears loudly like there’s a rock rattling in his ribcage rather than a vital organ. He swallows thickly and raises his chin too, copying Felix’s pose. “Fine.” He sniffs. “I call the wall spot.”

Felix smiles, endeared. “Okay.” They stand in a staring match for a few seconds before he gestures to the bed. “Are you going to get in?”

Changbin narrows his eyes at Felix. “Shut up.” He murmurs, grabbing Gyu up off the floor and climbing into his bed, back turned to Felix and stuffed plush clasped tightly in his arms. He will not let himself be embarrassed by this.

The bed dips beside him as Felix clamors in beside him, his back warming from the body heat almost instantly with how close the other boy is. Felix shuffles closer, his chest almost touching his back and he shivers, hoping Felix doesn’t feel it.

“Changbin,” He whispers, afraid that the other was already asleep. Changbin turns his head back to look over his shoulder and hums in acknowledgment. He doesn’t think he could sleep for the life of him. Felix is already looking at him and he smiles, something soft and different than his usual brightness. It makes Changbin’s chest clench. “Thank you.”

“Of course. I wasn’t gonna let you walk home this late by yourself.”

“No, I mean,” Felix cuts himself off with a frustrated noise and his nose scrunches in thought. His voice is more slurred and accented than usual with his tiredness. “Not just this. I mean you coming in everyday and talking to me, for letting me know you. It just- I'd like to think you’re my friend now.”

Changbin almost flinches, and he turns back around to face the wall, making sure Felix can’t see his soured expression at the word Friend. He can’t be selfish, not when Felix is so vulnerable about this. “You’re welcome.” He bites his lip before continuing, curling in on himself around Gyu. “I’d like to think you’re my friend, too.”

He hears Felix yawn behind him, “I’m glad.” He sets his forehead against Changbin’s back, resting softly on his spine between his shoulder blades. Changbin’s eyes droop, lulled by the warmth surrounding him, Felix’s deep slow breathing making him feel less alone than he would without Jisung. Its nice, and he falls into one of the best rests he’s had in a long time.

Changbin wakes up the same as any other normal person does; angry, confused, and not knowing what year it is. There’s an arm burning through his shirt to his skin like hot iron gripping his waist and he has no idea who the fuck he invited into his bed late into the night. Until he does. His body tenses immediately and his lungs are already stuttering on each breath. Felix’s chin is hooked over his shoulder, breath brushing softly against Changbin’s cheek, his chest lava rock hot against his back and their legs are tangled together. He can’t tell where one of them ends and the other begins anymore, but that might have to do with the fact that he just woke up and he’s still slightly delirious. Honestly, he’s really not one for cuddling, generally despising any kind of skinship that he doesn’t initiate himself, but with Felix instead of feeling uncomfortable or forced everything is lax and gooey with the still rising sun, light peeking through the blinds making the atmosphere honey golden and sweet, Changbin melting under the attention given by some sleep-clingy boy. When he tries to pull the other’s arms off (a bit reluctantly) Felix tightens his arms around his waist and shoves his face deeper into his neck mumbling protests, so Changbin doesn’t try for any longer. He lays there awake for he doesn’t know how long- Long enough for the sun to move past the gentle beauty of early morning and more into the bright ugliness of day, before Felix wakes up.

Felix rises like the sun; a glowing ball of energy, ready for the day and alive. Then again, he does a lot of things like the sun, given that it’s the only metaphor Changbin finds accurate enough to describe the half-enigma that is Felix. He doesn’t know if Felix is really an enigma -unpredictable and confusing, despite his upfront personality- or if Changbin himself is just stupid -clueless here with Felix like he is with everything (everyone) else. Probably a little bit of both. His arms curl tighter around Changbin, holding him as close-to-the-chest as possible for a few lingering seconds before letting go and rolling away and off the bed completely.

He hits the ground with a grunt, sitting up quickly and whipping his head side to side as if took look for anyone who could’ve saw him. Changbin snorts, turning over and laughing outright at Felix’s bewildered look. He pouts and ruffles his dark hair, eyes wide and awake as he stares at the old plush in Changbin’s arms. He raises an eyebrow, curious but not judging. His eyes are puffy from deep sleep, his freckled covered cheeks are pink and sleep-flushed, and his dark hair is artfully tousled with one strand curled against is forehead; it’s unfair how attractive he looks having just woken up.

He clears the thought from his head. “Gyu is not just a stuffed animal he is a Friend and a Companion,” Changbin sits up and stets the plush down on the bed. He stares Felix down, eyes challenging. “Now let’s move past this.”

Felix holds up his hands in hopes of placating Changbin, cheesy grin in place. “Hey, I said nothing. Besides, its nice to have something that gives you comfort when you fall asleep.” The look Felix shoots him makes the blood boil in his ears, and he grins back just as obnoxiously. “So, how long have you been awake?”

Changbin smirks. “Long enough to know that you growl like an animal when I try to pry myself out of your arms. You sound like when someone tries to take Gyu away from me.”

Felix sputters and flounders for something natural looking to do with his arms, and he settles for shrugging and scratching the back of his neck stiffly. The blush spread across his freckle laden cheeks make him look like a strawberry, and Changbin enjoys finally being the one on the other side of embarrassment more than he probably should. “Yeah- Well, I... I… I have no reply.”

Changbin stands up from his bed and ruffles Felix’s hair (its way softer than Changbin wanted it to be), heading towards this kitchen to look for something mildly suitable for two hungry young men, one of which is on a tight ass budget like you would not believe. Felix scrambles to rush after him, his sock clad feet thumping loudly in the silent apartment. He’s not used to the apartment being this still, when Jisung is home everything is loud and buzzing with untapped energy.

Changbin hops onto the kitchen counter, standing on his knees searching for something besides month old ramen packets. “We have saltine crackers and some peanut butter if that suits your fancy.” As a college drop out with no job and his parents only supporting him enough to keep him off of the streets, his funds are pretty low.

“You don’t know how to cook?” Felix asks.

“Oh, and you do?” Is Changbin’s incredulous reply.

“Actually,” Felix says like a smug asshole. “I do. I work at a café, you know. Those have pastries. That I have to make, sometimes. I also live with Chris, and that man does not want anyone in his kitchen unless he can trust them.”

Changbin tilts his head. He doesn’t recognize that name. “Chris?”

“Chan,” He clarifies. “You see, we’re both from Australia- It’s the name I met him as. Our mothers know each other, and when I moved to Korea it was already kind of decided that I would room with him- It was his idea, actually.”

“That’s… Really cool, actually. He sounds nice.” Changbin says, uses his hands as leverage on the counter as he twists himself around to sit back on his ass in one practiced movement. He wonders how he looks, daylight shining through the window behind him casting his body in a yellow gumdrop glow, sitting on his kitchen counter wearing Felix’s oversized sweatshirt kicking his feet back and forth because they can’t touch the ground, looking all domestic and shit.

“I think we have pancake mix,” He offers before hopping down and getting the paper package. He passes the bag off to Felix. “I would cook them up, but I don’t want it smelling like burnt in here.”

“I can do it! Do you have any mixing bowls?”

After getting all needed cooking materials Changbin stands next to Felix, resting with his back against the counter as he watches him mix the water and powder together in the big metal mixing bowl he’d gotten out of the cupboard. The silence is nice, but Changbin still breaks it. “Hey,” Felix makes a deep humming noise to show he’s paying attention. “I’m gonna go put this in the wash. So you can- You know. Take it home.”

Felix turns around and Changbin tugs on the honestly Kind Of Gross sweatshirt. “Oh, okay. I’ll try not to burn down the kitchen while you’re gone.” He says with a smile.

“I’m trusting you. Don’t burn my shit.”

He laughs, shooing Changbin out of the room with a batter-covered plastic spatula. “Okay, okay. Get out, fool.”

Changbin returns to the kitchen wearing a fresh black t-shirt and a different pair of fuzzy sleep pants. He poses dramatically as way of announcing his entrance, leg kicked up in the air and arm poised at the neck. “I am back.”

“Ah, yes,” Hums Felix. “Have I long awaited your arrival.” He points at the table with the same previously mentioned plastic spatula, but instead of batter it is covered in what Changbin assumes to be grease from the now cooking frozen sausage patties he smells. “Sit.”

“No.” He says stubbornly, poking out his bottom lip and dropping the pose. “You’re my guest, and yet you’re cooking for me.”

“I’m repaying you for letting me stay here,” Felix replies easily, brushing him off. “Let me do this for you, Sugarplum.”

You’re always doing things for me, Changbin thinks. “I wanna help.” Felix quirks an eyebrow at him from under his messy fringe, but he stands his ground. Crossing his arms, he says in the cutest voice he could possibly muster, trying to sway the other, “Please let me help?” He lays the act on thick, hoping to use his Ultimate Charm to get his way. It’s never failed him yet.

Felix turns pink and looks away. “Okay,” His voice cracks, and Changbin can’t help but feel pride swell in his chest, even though he played dirty. “I’m putting you in charge of the pancakes and I’ll fry up the sausages, m’kay?”

He passes him the pancake spatula and grabs another for himself. It’s cliché- But as he gives Changbin the utensil Felix’s warm fingers brush against his own and he grips the plastic so hard it could crack within his suddenly-sweaty grip.

 “Aye aye, Captain.” Changbin slaps his hand holding the spatula up to his forehead, splattering batter onto the side of his face. “Fuck,” Felix reaches over and wipes the batter from his eye. “Thanks. I got this.”

He does not got this.

“Shit! Fuck, oh my god.” Changbin wails as Felix fights back the giant fire-pancake induced flame with an old wash cloth. “Fucking- Put it out!”

“I’m trying!”

Changbin gets the lid to the pot and slams it on over the fire, hoping to suffocate it. Its successful, if just barely. He huffs out a laugh, breathless, and wipes some sweat from his brow. “Well. That was terrifying.”

“You know what they say; trauma brings people closer together.” Felix gives a dramatic wink and some finger guns, then pokes Changbin’s cheek.

"Yeah, yeah." Changbin grumbles, rubbing at his cheek abashedly. "Whatever. Help me scrape the pancakes that are still edible off the pan so we can eat. I'm starving."

 "Anything for you, Sugarplum." Felix manages to peel off and save some of the pancakes and flips the sausages off of the other pan. Balancing what amount they wanted onto their plates, they make their way into the living room.They sit squished together in the living room on the small loveseat sat in front of the TV, pressed together from their elbows jabbing into each other’s ribs to their legs, hip, to thigh, to ankle. Felix is kicking one of his legs back and forth languidly, his sock clad foot brushing up against Changbin’s ankle with every forward sweep. Changbin kicks Felix in the back of his calf, and they end up going back and forth kicking each other in silence as they eat, the sexy noise of Wet Pancake Chewing the only noise in the room. Fuckin’ gross. Felix mocks his maple syrup mote and Changbin scrunches his nose at his lack of sweetness. “These are somehow burnt on the outside but still undercooked on the inside.” Felix complains, though he continues to eat.

“It’d probably taste better with syrup.” He says and pointedly shoves a sugar drowned bite into his mouth.

“Maybe. Not worth the try.”

“Coward.”

“Yeah.”

After they finish and set their plates on the table, Changbin kicks back and rests his head on Felix’s shoulder and clicks on the television and some B-rated horror movie comes on screen. “Oh, I think I’ve seen this.” Felix makes an inquisitive noise. “Yeah, and it fucking sucks.”

“Do you like horror?”

“I am a horror connoisseur.” Changbin says, laughing when the poor bastard of a side-character’s head explodes. It looks like raspberry jam more than anything else. With his ear smooshed against Felix’s throat he hears him gag. “I’m guessing you don’t like it?”

Changbin’s head bobs as Felix shrugs his shoulder. “I’m more of a romance kind of guy, what can I say.”

He snorts, “Of course you are.”

They don’t speak for a while, Changbin wholly invested in the film even though he himself admitted its awful. Felix tries to pay attention but stops once the protagonist’s love interest gets her eyeball ripped straight from the socket. A commercial snaps Changbin out of his stupor and he takes the opening. “Hey.”

“What?”

He hesitates. “Are you and Jisung, like, a thing?”

He almost knocks himself off the couch. “No! I mean, I had a crush on him for like a month after we first met, but now if we were to date we would literally destroy each other.” Changbin scrambles to make eye contact. “Trust me, I am very single.” He says vehemently, which is embarrassing in itself, but he can’t have Felix thinking he’s got his eye on fucking Jisung.

Felix looks away. “So. You like guys, then?”

“Where is this even coming from?”

“Just-” Felix suddenly sounds nervous, which Changbin can’t comprehend why. “Answer the question, please.”

“I’m gay, yeah.” Admitting it to Felix both lifts a weight off his shoulders while adding a completely different, denser kind of weight. Changbin sits back again but doesn’t lean on his shoulder like he wants to. “What about you?”

“I’m bi,” He says nonchalantly, like the admission didn’t just make his brain shut down. He peeks at Changbin out of the corner of his eye, continuing in a softer, shyer voice. “Never had a boyfriend that lasted, though.”

“Never found the right person?” He asks, chest constricting. The movie might as well be static, the noise loud and sharp but incomprehensible in his head. Where is he going with this?

 “Not then,” He turns his to look directly at Changbin. “But now I’m not so sure.”

His stomach drops, and he chokes back a high-pitched whine that wants to emit from his throat. This is usually when he blushes down to his toes and brushes off what Felix is implying, like all the other times before. With all the time they’ve spent together, it’s been harder and harder to deny Felix’s attempts to advance their relationship; there’s no other way to interpret what he’s saying now without sounding like a total idiot- Not to mention like a cowardice jackass.

Felix looks a lot closer all of a sudden, and Changbin can taste his own heartbeat on his tongue. “’S that right?” He whispers, cringing inwardly at how his voice wavers on the last word.

He nods, and yeah, he’s definitely way closer now. Changbin could probably count the freckles on his face if he really wanted to, which he does, but now’s not the time. Felix reaches over and sets his hand on the other side of his leg, effectively cornering him in with no place to escape, he gulps around the lump in his throat and closes his eyes shut tight because Holy Fucking Christ this is really actually happening. He jumps when Felix’s lips touch his. It’s a nice kiss, one of the better ones that Changbin’s experienced; it’s warm, just like the rest of him, and it feels like all of the tension held between them disperses with the single action, but it’s not cinematic which somehow leaves him feeling relieved instead of disappointed. There’s no sparks behind his eyelids, no shock of electricity running between where they’re connected. It builds slowly and softly, warm and gentle and welcoming. He wouldn’t mind if he never stopped feeling like this.

They pull away and Felix looks scared. Straightforward, confident, flirty Felix looks nervous and scared and way smaller than he has any right to be. Changbin opens his mouth- To reassure him that its okay, it was the right thing to do, to scream, to what? His brain scrapes enough power to say anything at all and-

The front door is quite literally busted open with a loud kick, an even louder voice screaming “Hey, asshole, I’m back!” Felix rips away his hand as if Changbin were a branding iron and he’d gotten a hair too close to the red-metal. He’s only moved a few inches, but he suddenly feels unreachable.

Changbin turns his head slightly to yell back at the fucking intruder but his eyes never leave Felix’s. “Yah, have you no respect for your elders?”

He hears Jisung groan from the entrance. “Please, I heard that from Hyunjin nonstop last night. He’s only, what, six months older than me? Who does he think he-” Jisung jumps when he sees the guest sitting in his spot on the couch. “Oh. Hey, Felix. What are you doing here?” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at Changbin and he’s never wanted to kill the little shithead more that he does in this very moment.

“Hey, Jisung.” Felix greets back, self-conscious expression from before gone from his face and replaced with a cheery smile as if it never even existed. He doesn’t know how to feel about that. “I walked Changbin home last night and he let me stay over. We made pancakes if you want any.” He leans in to stage whisper a loud “He burnt them, though.”

He’s still reeling from the emotional whiplash, but he assumes the best thing he could do in the moment is to play along. “Hey. They’re not that bad, I swear.” They are that bad, but its not like Changbin is gonna tell Jisung that. Karma is one sexy bitch.

Jisung’s stomach gurgles loudly and he grins, patting his belly. “Cool.” He cocks his head in Changbin’s direction and then gestures to the kitchen. He smiles, tense. “Wanna come help me get some, Changbin?”

“Not really,” He says, snuggling deeper into his spot.

“Yes, you do.” Jisung stomps over and grabs his arm, leaving Felix alone in the living room. He drags him into the deepest corner of the kitchen and grabs his shoulders, shaking him. When he speaks its in a harsh whisper hoping to keep Felix from hearing them. “Changbin what the fuck did I just walk into?”

Changbin, who was quietly wailing in a monotonous voice as he was being shaken, grabs at Jisung’s forearms and whines, shaking him back. “Dude I have no fucking clue, but I am like this close to losing my fucking mind.”

Jisung peels himself back and reaches up to smoosh Changbin’s face in his hands. He angles his face to meet each other’s eyes. “Okay, okay. Start from the beginning.”

“Okay, well, I was working on that song for your dance team and decided I needed some coffee-”

“Oh my god, no.” He pats Changbin’s cheeks repeatedly until he fully shuts up. “I meant start from the beginning of last night.”

“I know,” He grins. “I just like to be difficult.”

They stand there for a moment before Jisung straight up hits his cheeks. “Well?”

“Augh, stop that, brat.” He pries himself out of Jisung’s hold and crosses his arms defensively. “Well… He walked me home, and I didn’t know that he lived all the way across town. It was two o’clock in the damn A.M., so of course I wasn’t gonna let him walk home alone in the dark, and I invited him inside.” He leaves out the sharing beds bit. “We made breakfast, and then we started talking and. He kissed me.”

Jisung’s hands are back on him in an instant, shaking him more vigorously than before. “Oh my god, did you tell him you like him too?”

“No,” Changbin says exasperated, slapping Jisung’s hands off of his shoulders. “I didn’t have the chance to because someone just happens to come home right as I’m about to say something.”

His face crumples, mortified, and he rubs at his own face. “Oh god, oh god, I am so sorry.” He gasps, finally pausing in movement for the first time since he’s arrived, now staring wide-eyed at him. “Wait. That means Felix just kissed you and you didn’t say anything. What if he thinks you rejected him?”

All of the color leaves Changbin’s face.

Oh fuck. “Oh fuck.”

They run out into the living room to find it empty, a note left on the table. Changbin picks it up, it’s obviously from Felix, written in barely legible Korean. ‘Sorry, something came up so Chris wanted me home! See you again and thank you!’ Jisung pops his head over Changbin’s shoulder to read the note. They stand unmoving for a few moments, staring at the note in silence, Changbin with his heart threatening to explode and Jisung wracking his brain in confusion. Felix left his sweatshirt, too.

“Who’s Chris?”

Changbin walks through the front doors of the café, spotting Chan at the front counter looking bored at the lack of customers. Granted, its eleven thirty at night, and the only people who come in that late are weirdos like him. He doesn’t even bother hoping that Felix is there because he knows he’s not. Felix hasn’t been at the café for every single day that Changbin has showed up, and its starting to freak him out. He doesn’t have his number, because if he did this would have been solved the moment Felix fled his apartment like some shittier, gayer version of Cinderella. Chan perks up at the sound of the little bell above the door only to frown in disappointment when he saw that it was him; Changbin would be offended if he didn’t feel the same way.

“Welcome,” Chan says either way, eyes as exhausted as his voice. “What can I do for you?”

“I need advice,” He answers softly, determined but tired. “Maybe also your home address. I need to talk with Felix, but he’s been avoiding me and-” He cuts himself off with a gulp and sighs, looking away. “It’s really scaring me.”

“Okay, c’mere.” Chan points at one of the barstools in front of him. “What’s up with Felix? He asked if he could use his vacation days early and hasn’t spoke to me about what was wrong.” He perks up suddenly, face cross as he glares at Changbin. “So, what’d you do?”

“He kissed me!” He blurts, face burning instantly at his own outburst. “I didn’t do anything and- And I know that that’s what the problem is. I didn’t react in time and then my dumb fuck roommate showed up before I could really do anything and-”

Chan sets a firm hand on his shoulder. He’s stood up, leaning over the table and into his face. “Calm down. Breathe.” Changbin exhales the breath that he wasn’t aware he was even holding and slumps into his seat. “So, he made the first move and when you didn’t show the reaction he wanted he left?” He nods and the crease in Chan’s forehead deepens. “Poor kid’s always jumping to conclusions.”

“I just- I don’t know what to do,” Changbin confesses, looking down at his dirt-scuffed sneakers and ratty jeans. He picks at a loose thread sticking out from the hem of his shirt absentmindedly. “I want to- He needs to know how much I like him; how much he means to me.” Saying it out loud makes his heart hurt deep beneath his skin, the ache spreading to the hallow of his bones.

The pressure is removed from his shoulder and Changbin doesn’t look up as Chan walks out from the counter, his fancy shoes tapping quietly against the hardwood floor. Changbin doesn’t dare look up when he knows is face is an ugly almost-purple due to how hard he’s blushing. He know its overdramatic, but he feels like he’s going to cry, and he hates it.

“I’m gonna tell you something that’s probably amazingly, stupidly obvious that you don’t need some stranger telling you, but I’m going to tell you anyways, because I care for Felix like a little brother and this situation is a bit ridiculous. Relationships are a mutual thing, a two-way street. Give and take. Let yourself be more open with what you feel, and I don’t think something like this will happen again.” The chair next to him squeaks and Changbin looks at him out of the corner of his eye. He’s not looking at Changbin, and when he speaks he looks as if he’s trying to convince himself rather than Changbin. “Don’t let him get away.”

“So… Can I have your address now?”

After getting Felix and Chan’s address he practically throws himself from the café, yelling out thank-you’s and apologies for leaving so abruptly, and races down the street while punching in the address onto his phone. It’s a 20-minute walk on foot, but Changbin’s sure he could make it in at least 15 if he runs hard enough. Before leaving on his asthma-inducing trek he pulls up the messenger app, shooting a quick text and hoping that he’d read Chan correctly.

To: Teddy Bear Man

Are you and Chan okay?? The man seemed Tense.

Changbin arrives to the apartment complex that one of the most important people in his life resides in, and wow he really doesn’t know if he can do this. His heart is pounding in adrenalin everywhere in his body, he can feel his brain pulsing in his skull with each heavy heartbeat, his chest clenching on every offbeat. He keels over and splays his panic-sweaty palms on his knees, the sharp cold of his hands prickling over the thin skin of his knees through the ripped holes in his jeans. The air is chilly around him and the shallow breaths being ripped from his lungs billow out in a cloud of smoke like some kind of ice dragon. He checks his phone; only took him 10 minutes, no wonder he feels like he’s going to fucking die.

“Bitch up, stupid. You need to do this,” He mutters to himself, his voice wavering with still laden anxiety. He manages to slam his hand down heavy onto the door only twice before he backs up almost two whole feet, and then has to lean back down to catch his breath again.

The door opens with a muted click and Felix gasps. “Jesus,” He gasps. “I thought you were Chris. What are you doing here-?”

Changbin hacks out a fuck ugly cough and sniffs, straightening up and wiping the copious amount of sweat off of his face. He must make a real pretty picture right now, flushed and disgusting from his Olympics worthy sprint across town, being able to fill a goddamn pool with the amount of sweat he’s producing. “Lee Felix!” He shouts. Felix’s neighbors are probably going to hear this and wonder what kind of ugly, stupid bastard is yelling out a love confession at the top of his lungs in the middle of the hallway, but he can’t find it in him to give a single shit. “I like you! I like you so much that I feel like I’m going to physically combust.”

Felix stares at him, mouth agape, hand slipping off of the door handle. His hair is light again, a soft blonde, almost pink color in the vague orange-ish hallway lighting. Changbin can take time to appreciate it later when he’s not pouring his heart out all over the hallway floor. “I’m sorry. When you kissed me, I was just so shocked and confused and then Jisung- I just. I didn’t know what to do. Then you left, and you kind of ripped my heart out.” He tries to laugh but it comes out sounding thick and labored, garbled like he’s speaking underwater. Is he crying?

“I went to Chan. I had no idea what else to do, because you were obviously avoiding me. He told me to stand up, to take the first move for once. So, Felix. I like you, and I hope you like me, too.” Here it comes. Changbin takes a deep breath and clenches his eyes shut to the point of pain. “Will you be my boyfriend?”

Its quiet, deathly quiet, his heartbeat roaring banshee-shriek loud in his head. Hands grasp his shoulders and he jumps so violently at the unexpected, warm touch that he almost falls flat onto his ass. Felix lifts his face up by tilting his chin until he can stare him in the eye and yeah, Changbin is crying now. He’s so fucking stressed. The fond, happy expression on Felix’s face is probably the most love that anyone has ever shown him in his entire life. They wrap each other up in their arms, being pulled together like those cheap but strong ass magnets you can buy for like 50 cents at a gas station, melding to fit the other like puzzle pieces. He’s finally able to breathe around Felix, and that thought alone is invigorating. Felix nuzzles his cheek against the top of Changbin’s head, and for once he’s glad he’s short as hell. He’s not sure but Felix may or may not have just kissed his temple and he also may or may not be having heart palpitations.

“I’m hoping that’s a yes?”

Felix giggles (fucking giggles, lord help him) and rubs his face against Changbin’s hair again. “Yes,” He says through a sigh, like all the weight he was carrying left him, too. “I’m sorry for being stupid.”

“No, it’s- It’s okay.” Changbin mutters, pressing his face into Felix’s neck. He’s warm, so warm like always, and smells comforting like coffee beans and whatever sunshine would smell like if it were a person. He tightens his arms around Felix’s shoulders and gives the biggest smile he’s probably ever made. His cheeks ache with it. “I’m really happy, right now.”

“Me too.”