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The only nice thing about amusement parks were the resorts.
You know, the indoor, air conditioned part of the experience where there were no lines or sweaty families full of screaming children and adults searching for the nearest iced margarita stand. The place where there was no need to “split up” the party because there was wifi and cell service everywhere. Honest to god, it’s the twenty first century, why on earth was it so hard to keep in contact with somebody inside of a theme park nowadays?
Yoongi shook Hoseok’s hand off with a grunt. He loved him to death and loved holding his kink-worthy hand, but he didn’t want to right now. He was more than likely holding the thin layer of sunscreen and perspiration on Hoseok’s skin than his actual hand anyways. And when he turned to look, Hoseok only seemed a little offended, crossing his arms instead.
Luckily, he looked pretty lethal in the sun to forgive. His skin was somewhat tan to begin with, but it had gotten a little golden sheen since they stepped foot in this winding compound at the beginning of the week. Jungkook and Taehyung were certain they could get the best tans out of this trip, and while Yoongi had no room to speak considering how bubbling and red he was after two trips to the hotel pool, he figured Hoseok got the best tan out of anyone.
And with his hair swept back under his stupid looking backwards snapback and his eyes hidden behind his fuckboy sunglasses, he looked good enough to eat. Which was ridiculous. Yoongi in no way condoned cannibalism. But there was really no other way to talk about his boyfriend sometimes.
His sleeveless, madly attractive, goofy as hell, great in the sack, perfection incarnate, boyfriend.
With whom he had split off with from the other five earlier to ride all the pansy 3D rides. Because 5’10”, never intimidated, legs of a god Hoseok starts to shake when a roller coaster gets more than 20 feet off the ground.
Not that there’s nothing wrong with the 3D rides, it’s just that the lines were probably longer than most transplant waitlists and Hoseok was just a little too chatty for his own good sometimes.
As they moved up a few feet, still getting beaten by the sun’s rays worst than Germany in the World Cup, but just a little bit closer to the door (where they would likely wait just as long but inside), Hoseok managed to keep a constant running monologue. One that might not have annoyed his terribly patient and great at tuning things out lover if he hadn’t been trying so hard to engage with him the whole time.
“Would you rather … swim with dolphins or go to the moon?” Hoseok asked.
Yoongi sent him an eye dagger. Sharp, but not deep enough to cut. He shrugged. “Moon I guess. Anybody can swim with dolphins. You’re running out of shit to say, Hoseok.”
Hoseok frowned, “I’m just trying to make the wait better.”
“Yeah, well.” Yoongi didn’t say anything else. He let his dissatisfaction sit in the air, and leaned back against the bar of the queue. It was molten from being outside all day, but certainly not enough to keep Yoongi from putting all his weight on it with one little lean.
So Hoseok was quiet for a few moments and Yoongi shut his eyes. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to come on this stupid trip, but he loved Hoseok and didn't entirely hate Hoseok's friends. Sure, he had gotten into a few heated arguments with Namjoon and Jimin sometimes appeared randomly out of nowhere scaring the shit out of Yoongi, but other than that there was no harm done by any of them.
Except, really, he could have stayed in the hotel room all day. A vacation to him felt like waking up late to Hoseok already scrolling on his phone. Then knocking the dumb, oversized thing out of his hands and telling him to play with his hair instead. Yoongi wanted to eat food, take pictures, go for walks, buy useless trinkets, and find a nightclub where he could watch Hoseok dance. Not stand in lines for an hour and seriously contemplate ending his relationship if Hoseok conjured up one more stupid scenario.
“Would you rather give up seasoning or blowjobs?”
Fuck. Yoongi sighed.
Seasoning. Obviously. Of course. Getting blowjobs from Hoseok was the eighth wonder of the world. Even if Yoongi was pretty damn sure he was the better blowjob-er between the two of them, he couldn't even contemplate a world without Hoseok's mouth on him every once and awhile. But then again, seasoning is important and Yoongi loves food. He can still have sex with Hoseok, right? It's not like giving up blowjobs gives up everything else.
He was dizzy.
"Hobi, I love you. I really do." Yoongi lulled his head to the side. "But I think we're done with Would You Rather for the afternoon."
Hoseok nodded and Yoongi felt a little bad. The smell of summer and sounds of thrumming roller coaster tracks swept his senses momentarily as he remembered this was supposed to be fun. Namjoon and Seokjin had spent hours putting this trip together for everyone because they all needed a break. And despite everyone being in groups right now to fulfill their various rollercoaster, 3D, or photo-op desires, this was all about having a good time.
But instead he and Hoseok had been at each other all week.
The first day was fine. Dumb smiles and poncho kisses when they went on various water rides. They had their own hotel room so after dinner Hoseok kissed him silly wearing nothing but a scratchy bathrobe. He let Hoseok get handsy with him while they watched Disney movies and took too many selfies to count.
It wasn't until the coming days that they started to get testy. Like Yoongi snapping at Hoseok for losing tickets or forgetting something. Like Hoseok picking fights with Yoongi when he was tired and sweaty and hungry because he wasn’t thinking straight. Generally they apologized and made-up, but the tension was heavy.
Even the others had noticed it. They'd been having trouble themselves. A party of seven was tough to keep together. Especially when the youngest three had the attention span of fish and launched off towards anything cool and flashy before the eldest four knew what was happening. They all had their own squabbles and Seokjin kept asking Hoseok if everything was okay.
"Am I annoying you?" Hoseok asked.
"No," Yoongi lied, "I'm just irritable."
"Mmkay."
Hoseok looked like he wanted to touch him again. Take his hand or put his thumb in his pocket. Just something because he was a touchy person in all the littlest ways. But Yoongi wasn't interested. Hot. Sweaty. Pissed. Uninterested.
And enjoying the silence Hoseok had finally graced him with.
Until -
"Okay so," Hoseok started up, "Fuck, marry, kill-"
"You. You. And definitely you."
"Uh ..." Hoseok was taken aback, but gathered himself quickly. “In that order?”
"I'm free Saturday when we get back. Get married pen and paper style." Yoongi offered.
"Okay. Perfect." Hoseok nodded. "Then you can kill me Sunday so I don't have to go to work Monday."
"Deal." Yoongi felt a smile creep onto his face.
Yeah, he could never stay mad at Hoseok for long. Not when he did things like that. Not when all he was ever trying to do was make Yoongi smile anyways. There was never going to be a person who put up with Yoongi the way he did. Vice-versa was probably true.
There would never be anybody quite like Hoseok. Ever. That was it.
"You know I'm serious, right?" Yoongi raised an eyebrow.
"About the marriage or the killing?" Hoseok asked.
Yoongi kept his grin. "Both."
Hoseok didn't seem surprised in the least. "I never really figured we were going to have a big wedding anyways. And I think I remember saying he could stab me to Seokjin when I first met you so ... full circle really."
Yoongi laughed. He did remember Seokjin telling him that story. Hoseok had been so drunk he approached Yoongi with a bowl of peanuts, and if he'd been any soberer Yoongi would have taken him home that night. But instead they added each other on snapchat and Yoongi found Hoseok's stories a little too funny and his face a little too perfect to not start messaging him when he had the chance. And a few snapchat messages led to real messages and eventually he did take him home. Ancient history really.
Leading up to them getting married that Saturday. Signing a piece of paper and walking their happy asses back to their apartment where they'd invited some friends and family for dinner but surprise! it was actually their wedding. Yoongi's mom would never let him live it down. Hoseok's sister said she saw it coming and dressed perfectly for the event in preparation. They'd grow old together and invest in their portfolios and adopt dogs. All good things.
But they had one more day in this stupid amusement park.
"Wait," Hoseok said, "What about the fucking?"
"What?" Yoongi asked.
"Well fuck, marry, kill. In that order. What about the fuck?" Hoseok explained.
Yoongi looked around. The line wasn't moving. They were still outside.
He looked back to Hoseok and shrugged. "How badly do you want go on this ride?"
"Zero. How badly do you want to go back to the resort?"
"Infinity."