Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Midoriya’s American Friend is Dead to Him
Today
December 1 11:42AM
V: So... Tani… I need you to help a girl out
Tani: wassup?
V: I need to interview people for my studies class
V: guess what you just got volunteered for?
Tani: wtf V
V: pls, 4 me?
Tani: …
Tani: fine. But like hell I'm suffering alone
V: ???
Tani: 1 sec
Midoriya Izuku was frowning, and Uraraka Ochako was confused. To be honest, she was worried, too, since he kept looking at his phone and typing. Was he texting someone? Everyone in Class 1-A was actually paying attention to Present Mic, though. Uraraka furrowed her eyebrows and tried her best to return her attention to the teacher.
Present Mic was emphatically waving his arms as he reviewed the words on the board.
Throughout class, he recounted stories about his experiences speaking English abroad. Some of them were incredibly amusing. He even got Todoroki to break a smile and huff in a way that might be mistaken for a chuckle. Both were almost unnoticeable, but they happened. And Midoriya was missing it!
“So in short, listeners, where you are matters when you are speaking English. A water fountain in the USA is a bubble fountain in Britain. And you should use caution when using pretty, quite, or rather as an intensifier if you don’t know where someone is from. Don’t make my same mistake! Sarcasm, my dear listeners, is not always universal!”
Everyone nodded which is when Present Mic noticed Midoriya’s stationary head.
“Let’s see what else you know!” Present Mic began strolling through the aisles between the students’ desks, still talking. “Someone use a word that describes how you are that has different connotations depending on the country.” The pro made a show about who to pick once he stood right next to Midoriya’s desk, even spinning around with his hand extended.
“You!” Present Mic pointed at Midoriya. “How are you?”
“I’m pissed,” Midoriya grunted without even lifting his head from his hidden phone. Present Mic was surprised but rolled with it.
“Oh? Are you drunk or angry?”
Midoriya finally lifted his head and started flushing. His face was trying to imitate a piece of paper, it seemed. Midoriya started stuttering.
“U-u-u-u-uh...angry, sir? I’m not old enough to drink...”
Present Mic started laughing, his booming voice echoing from the walls.
“That you are! Good answer! I hope you deal with that anger responsibly!”
Returning to the front of the class, Present Mic wrote “pissed” on the board. “If you are in America, pissed means to be angry.” After writing “USA=angry” he drew a mad face next to it with hair that looks suspiciously like Bakugou. Most of the students laughed while Bakugou grumbled an angry “Is that supposed to me? What the fuck?”
“Most people might say ‘I’m pissed off,’ but saying ‘I’m pissed’ does the job as well,” Present Mic continued. “If you were in the UK, Midoriya or any of you listeners would be breaking the law! Pissed means drunk over there, and I don’t mean only a little drunk. Thankfully Midoriya put my worries to rest!” Present Mic made a dramatic sigh of relief.
“Anyway, that’s all of class. Stay sober!”
The students of Class A-1 packed up and slowly started walking out of the classroom. Uraraka stole glances at Midoriya as she finished up. Eventually Midoriya came over to her desk with a beaming smile and asked her if she was ready for lunch.
Relieved that he seemed to be acting more normal, Uraraka, Iida, and Todoroki made their way to the cafeteria.
Today 13:10
V: this is a long second
Midoriya knew what he wanted to do, but like always, he was worried about it. And like always, he was also overthinking it. All through lunch, he muttered to himself. He tried to keep up appearances and join in the conversation, but everything kept bringing him back to the same worry.
Should he introduce them to V? Midoriya was apprehensive about introducing his only true childhood friend, one with far too much blackmail, to his current high school friends. Plus, she knew, and Midoriya had no doubt she would meddle. Giving her direct contact was just asking for trouble. Then again, maybe that was a good thing?
Thankfully, his not so internal monologue was low enough that no one else heard. There were a moment or two where Todoroki looked like maybe he heard something. On more than one occasion the duel quirked boy asked Midoriya if he was alright. Each time Midoriya shrugged off the concern, Todoroki looked less and less convinced.
This was one of the few times he regretted always sitting next to Todoroki.
He’s going to do this. It’ll be fine. They’ll all get along and he won’t regret anything. No problem. He’s got this.
Today 13:15
Group chat: Class 1-A Class News
Deku: Hey guys! I know we don’t use this a lot but a friend of mine needs to interview some people for her heroic studies class. Is it okay if I add her?
Chargebolt: wat?
Pinky: wait? this exists?
Red Riot: i forget we even had this thing!
Ingenium: Who is this person? Do you trust them? How did you meet them? What class are they in?
Deku: V is someone I’ve been friends with since middle school. Of course, I trust her! She currently goes to school in America.
Invisible Girl: life makes so much more sense now…
Deku: What do you mean?
Cellophane: you knowing english slang was pretty...unexpected
Grape Juice: ARE WE ALL MISSING THE PART WHERE MIDORIYA KNOWS A COLLEGE GIRL????!!!!
Uravity: …
Deku: Are you okay Uraraka-san?
Uravity: I’m okay :) I think that any friend of Deku is okay to be added to the chat!
Froppy: I agree with Uraraka, Midoriya-chan
Ingenium: I suppose if she is a friend of yours Midoriya…
Deku: Thank you! One second…
Lord Explosion Murder: What the fuck! Why the fuck should we add an outsider to this chat? Let alone a friend of fucking Deku!
Today 13:24
Chat: Tani and V
Tani: you good
Tani: come on
V: took you long enough
Today 13:25
Group chat: Class 1-A Class News
Deku: Everyone, this is my friend V.
V: Sup :)
V: One sec…
V has changed name to Insomnia Inc.
Insomnia Inc: Better
Lord Explosion Murder: Get the fuck out.
Insomnia Inc: No thanks Kacchan
Lord Explosion Murder: How the fuck do you know that fucking name?!
Insomnia Inc: I’m friends with Tani, I've heard a lot about you, Kaachan. I knew he was exaggerating about the language, though, You are way more eloquent.
Shouto: I like her.
Lord Explosion Murder: No one asked for your opinion Half n half
Uravity: Tani??????
Insomnia Inc: It’s my nickname for Izuku
Deku: She misread my last name as Midoritani instead of Midoriya.
Deku: Thus, Tani was born.
Creati: Does Midoriya-san talk about all of us?
Insomnia Inc: Yep! Though, I will need everyone to introduce themselves for me…
Insomnia Inc: I don’t know you guys by your hero names...
Today 13:30
Tani: don’t you fucking dare
V: : P
Earphone Jack: this is gonna be interesting...
Ingenium: I shall start then. My name is Iida Tenya.
Insomnia Inc: class pres right?
Ingenium: That is correct.
Uravity: Me next!
Insomnia Inc: No need for that. I already know your name Uraraka :)
Uravity: really?!
Insomnia Inc: Yea, you come up a lot when I’m talking to Tani
Uravity: Awww Deku…
Deku: Of course I talk about you Uraraka-san, you’re one of my best friends!
Uravity: Thx!
Red Riot: What about me dude!? Kirishima Eijirou.
Insomnia Inc: Oh! You’re the dude with the hardening quirk
Can’t Stop Twinkling: What about moi? The famous Aoyama Yuuga?
Insomnia Inc: ...shiny…
Chargebolt: Oh! Oh! Me next! Kaminari Denki!
Insomnia Inc: You’re the one with the lightning quirk right?
Chargebolt: got it in one
Insomnia Inc: try not to permanently fry your brain dude
Earphone Jack: I tell him that all the time
Earphone Jack: He doesn’t listen
Earphone Jack: Jirou Kyouka btw
Insomnia Inc: you’re the girl with the sick sense of style
Earphone Jack: sick?
Insomnia Inc: you have good style
Earphone Jack: gotcha
Lord Explosion Murder: This is taking way too fucking long. Hurry the fuck up so I can move on with my life.
Insomnia Inc: You have a life?
Pinky: nice burn! I’m Ashido Mina!
Insomnia Inc: Alien Girl
Creati: Yaoyorozu Momo
Insomnia Inc: class mom that makes a lot of stuff
Invisible Girl: Hagakure Tooru!
Insomnia Inc: what do you actually look like?
Invisible Girl: the world will never know…
Tentacole: Mezou Shouji
Insomnia Inc: do your...extra mouths...have their own personality
Tentacole: yes, yes they do
Froppy: Asui Tsuyu
Insomnia Inc: but you like to be called Tsu-chan right?
Froppy: right
Sugar Man: I'm Satou Rikidou and Anima is Kouda Kouji
Insomnia Inc: sweet maker and animal talker, got it
Tail Man: Ojiro Mashirao
Insomnia Inc: your the guy with the tail and the karate moves right??????
Tail Man: Yep
Cellophane: Sero Hanta. Sup?
Insomnia Inc: scotch tape dude right? I'm good thx
Tsukuyomi: Tokoyami Fumikage
Insomnia Inc: and Dark Shadow is the name of your shadow???
Tsukuyomi: Yes
Grape Juice: And for the most important person in the class...me!
Insomnia Inc: and who are you?
Grape Juice: Mineta Minoru!
Insomnia Inc: who?
Grape Juice: you don't know me???!!!
Insomnia Inc: obviously you're not that important
Insomnia Inc: moving on…
Insomnia Inc: anyone else?
Deku: Ah! Todoroki-kun, you haven't introduced yourself yet!
Shouto: Apologizes. I'm Todoroki Shouto.
Insomnia Inc: Todoroki...Kokoo??? Wat???
Shouto: Kokoo? Where is that coming from?
Insomnia Inc: I'm really sorry.
Insomnia Inc: My kanji reading skills aren't all that good.
Insomnia Inc: I've been practicing for years but I sometimes forget some of the readings for some characters.
Insomnia Inc: This is really embarrassing.
Insomnia Inc: Shit.
Insomnia Inc: Tani honestly tries to help, so I should know this by now. He’s a good teacher.
Insomnia Inc: I just suck as a student I guess.
Insomnia Inc: I really need to study more but I don't really have a lot of time between work and school.
Insomnia Inc: Ah! Fuck! I’m making excuses now.
Insomnia Inc: And cursing. Dang it!
Insomnia Inc: I suppose there are some nights where I could stay up to study but I would have to schedule it in.
Insomnia Inc: But there are only so many hours a day.
Insomnia Inc: But this is important!
Deku: V, you're rambling.
Uravity: I can see why you and Deku are friends V!
Lord Explosion Murder: yeah, they both mumble like fucking idiots
Shouto: No one asked for your opinion Bakugou.
Insomnia Inc: You are now my favorite person after Tani, Todoroki
Shouto: Thank you and to correct you, my first name is the same as my username on the chat: Shou-to
Insomnia Inc: OH! YOU’RE TANI’S SHOU-CHAN!!!
Today 14:00
Tani: CONTINUE AND YOU ARE DEAD TO ME
V: >:)
Uravity: WHAT!?