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As Lance’s eyes fluttered open, the sound of dishes clanking together rang in his ears and the smell of bacon filled his lungs.
Grabbing his phone off the nightstand, he squinted at the numbers on the screen before groaning and tossing the phone back.
Just as sleep was about to take him once more, he heard footsteps by the door.
“Lance?”
“Hm,” he grumbled back.
“I know you’re awake,” the voice said with a hint of amusement. “It’s already 10.”
“You mean it’s only 10.”
The voice grew louder as feet padded across the hardwood floor towards the bed. “Get up, lazy ass. I made breakfast.” The springs of the mattress creaked under the added weight.
Lance flipped over and snuggled his face into the soft red shirt, snaking his arms around the torso it covered. “I know. I can smell it.” He took a dramatic inhalation of air, earning a snort in return.
“You’re like a giant puppy. Get up.”
Chuckling into the fabric, Lance sharply tugged the body back. “Nope.”
“Lance! You fucking---”
There was a brief struggle, arms flailing, legs tangling, until suddenly Lance was pinned down with a swift blow to the chest, knocking all the air out of him.
And sitting triumphantly on top of him, eyes gleaming and face flushed, was the love of his life.
Keith was grinning now. “Don’t even try it, loser.”
With a wheeze, Lance conceded, “Alright, you win, you win.”
“I always do.”
Lance traced his fingers down Keith’s bare leg. “But I’m not really losing, am I?”
The smug look on Keith’s face vanished in an instant. Ears bright red, he cried, “Lance!”
Now playing with the hem of Keith’s boxers, Lance looked up, the picture of innocence, “Hm?”
With a heavy sigh, Keith crumpled his body on top of Lance’s and muttered into his neck, “Alright, five minutes. But if we get out there and the food is cold, there will be hell to pay.”
Lance made a satisfied noise in the back of his throat before nuzzling his face further into Keith’s chest. “But it’ll be so worth it.”
"Yowch,” Lance muttered as he gingerly removed a plate from the microwave.
Over his shoulder, he saw Keith sitting cross-legged on the couch, staring intently at his laptop. Taking the other plate on the counter in his hand, Lance padded over to the couch and fell back onto it, jabbing Keith with his elbow as he did.
Lifting his computer away from the potential hazards, Keith cried, “Hey watch it, doofus.”
That only prompted Lance to snuggle closer, bringing the plate to Keith’s face. “Your breakfast, my liege.”
Keith nudged Lance’s knee with his foot. “Oh wow, thanks. The breakfast I made. How thoughtful of you.” Nevertheless, he took the plate with an absent-minded kiss to Lance’s forehead as he scrolled through the site.
Leaning into Keith’s chest, Lance asked through a mouthful of eggs, “Whatcha looking for?”
“A present for your mom. You think she’d like this?” He gestured to the screen. “Her tools are pretty worn out and I wanted to get her a new set before spring planting.”
“You’re such a practical gift giver,” Lance teased before setting his plate aside and sliding his fingers down the trackpad. “Ooh, this set comes in a canvas bag. She’ll love that. Get that one.”
Keith ran his fingers through Lance’s hair as he added it to his cart. “What about your dad?”
Lance tilted his head up at Keith. “Papi’s easy, just buy him any of those new kitchen gadgets and he’ll be happy.” He tucked himself under Keith’s chin. “The real question is, what are you getting me?”
Chewing on a piece of bacon, Keith smirked. “Your gift’s been ready for ages.”
Lance’s eyes lit up. “Really? What is it?”
“I’m not telling you, stupid,” Keith said as he placed his laptop and plate on the coffee table in front of him.
“Oh, c’mon. Please ?”
“No. Christmas is like three weeks away.”
“Please?” Lance begged, clasping his hands together.
“Well… I can tell you what a part of it is?”
Lance sprang up and dove into Keith’s lap, garnering a grunt of surprise. “Part of it? There’s more?”
Keith shrugged and averted his eyes. “Yeah, I just… There was a lot I wanted to give you.”
With a laugh, Lance tugged Keith’s shirt and dragged the other boy towards him. As their lips met, he muttered, “I love you.”
Pulling Lance closer to him, Keith smiled into the kiss. “I love you, too.”
All of a sudden, Lance pulled away and blurted, “I got us the Costco movie pass.”
Blinking away his shock, Keith asked, “The what?”
“You know that movie a day pass that Costco is selling right now?” Keith shook his head and Lance explained, “It’s like $90 for a whole year’s worth of movie tickets. As long as we see a movie a month it’s totally worth it.”
Keith was beaming. “A movie a month?”
Lance pecked him on the lips. “Yup, so that means we have at least 12 dates next year. Prepare yourself.”
Keith gave a contented sigh and pressed his face against Lance’s chest. “I love it. Thank you.”
“So, what’d you get me?”
There was a moment of silence before Keith muttered something into Lance’s shirt.
“What was that?”
“I said, you get one free pass.”
Lance furrowed his brow. “Huh? A free pass for what?”
Keith was blushing now. “One beauty day. Facial, manicures, nice smelling lotion… I’ll let you do anything you want. One day.”
Lance’s jaw slackened. “You… you’re serious?” Keith nodded and Lance felt his heart constricting in his chest.
Keith took Lance’s silence the wrong way and hastened to say, “Like I said it’s only part one. It’s just a small thing. I have other stuff I pr--WOAH!”
In the middle of his explanation, Lance had yanked Keith towards him so hard that they nearly fell off the couch. Keith opened his mouth to say more but Lance brought their lips together in a sloppy kiss.
“Lance... I… I can’t breathe,” Keith huffed through their kiss.
“Don’t care,” Lance murmured.
Keith craned his neck and continued, “And you’re gonna stretch out my shirt if you keep pulling on it like this.”
“Stop whining and kiss me, you fucker.”
Keith chuckled and let himself fall back into the kiss before asking, “So does this mean you like it?”
Breaking away, Lance traced a hand down Keith’s face, eyes glistening. “It’s perfect.”
Keith felt a heat crawling up the back of his neck. “C-cool.”
“And I’m using it right now.”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“But what about breakfast?” Keith protested while weakly gesturing to their abandoned plates on the table.
“Now.”
"You want me to put that on my face ?!”
Unscrewing the small jar in his hand, Lance sighed and turned towards his boyfriend. “Yes, Keith. It’s not rocket science.”
“But it’s sugar. Isn’t it sticky?”
“You’re going to wash it off after a few minutes.” Lance scooped some of the pink substance into his hand. “Here, watch.”
Turning on the sink with his free hand, Lance briefly stuck his hand under the stream of water before rubbing the pink goop onto his face.
Keith scrunched up his nose. “Why?!”
“Exfoliation, my good man. Exfoliation.” With his face now smeared with the sugar scrub, he turned to Keith and beamed.
An amused huff escaped from Keith’s lips. “You look ridiculous.”
“Maybe so. But soon you will too,” he said as he scooped up more of the scrub and began to approach Keith.
“No way,” he screeched. “It looks nasty.”
Lance attempted to grab onto Keith who scooted away into the shower. “No, your face is nasty. Did you see that cleansing wipe you used earlier? It’s like you’ve never washed your face in your life.”
Moving behind the shower curtain, Keith cried, “I wash my face!”
Stepping into the shower, Lance made an exasperated noise. “I see you in the bathroom in the morning. Washing it with just water doesn’t count.”
“Why not?! That’s what washing is.” He was backed up against the wall now, trying to anticipate Lance’s next move as he dodged his outstretched hand again.
“Soap, Keith! That’s why we as the human race invented soap. Only using water just moves the dirt around… And would you stop being a giant baby and get over here already.” As he said that, he managed to hook his fingers through one of Keith’s belt loops and yank him towards himself.
“AARGH!” Keith screamed as Lance wiped the scrub across his cheek.
“Think you’re slick, huh?” Lance gloated as he continued to rub the mixture onto Keith’s face. “Now we get to look pretty together.”
“I hate you,” Keith grumbled.
“But c’mon, it feels good right?”
As Lance moved his fingers in gentle swirls along Keith’s forehead and nose, Keith shrugged. “A little.”
Lance chuckled and moved his thumbs in little circles on the apples of Keith’s cheeks. “That’s Keith for yes.”
Pouting, Keith mumbled, “It smells really sweet.”
“Well, yeah. It’s sugar.”
“Hmm…” And with that Keith licked the corner of his lips before promptly grimacing and spitting directly into Lance’s face.
“KEITH!”
Still spitting the scrub out of his mouth, Keith cried, “This is disgusting!”
“You’re disgusting!” Lance yelled back. “And I can’t even rub your nasty spit off my face because I have this scrub on and I would just be rubbing your spit in more . Why the fuck did you eat it?!”
“You said it was sugar! Sugar is food!”
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean you should eat it, you desert rat.”
Keith folded his arms across his chest. “I thought it would taste like candy.”
Lance’s paused and looked at Keith’s face, disgruntled and half-covered in pink gunk. A snort escaped nose and before long he was full out cackling.
“You’re such a kid sometimes,” he said between fits of laughter.
Keith cracked a small smile. “You look like a drugged up clown.”
“Try saying that again after you’ve looked in the mirror.”
Keith swiveled his head towards the mirror above the sink and, at the sight of the haphazard smears on his face, he nearly choked on his laughter.
“We look awful.”
“Yeah, no kidding.”
Attempting to wipe his eye without touching the scrub, Keith wheezed, “Isn’t this supposed to be a beauty regimen? We look ten times uglier than before.”
With a lingering look at Keith’s tousled hair and wide grin, Lance smiled and wiped the rest of the sugar scrub onto Keith’s chin. “Eh, it’s not so bad.”
Smiling back, Keith murmured, “No?”
Closing the final gap between them, Lance whispered back, “No.”
The moment their lips touched, Keith grimaced. “Ugh, I can taste it again.”
With an evil grin, Lance dragged him closer and planted another kiss on Keith’s lips.
“Gross! Stop it,” Keith protested through his laughter as Lance landed another kiss.
“Aw, c’mon. Don’t I taste like strawberry candy?”
“You taste like ass.”
“Even better.”
“Shut up.”
“I’ll shut up if you kiss me.”
Keith rolled his eyes but wrapped his hands around Lance’s neck. “Fine,” he said before shoving his tongue into Lance’s mouth.
Lance’s screech of “Keith, you asshole!” was muffled by the insistent press of Keith’s tongue against Lance’s.
“This is the worst kiss ever,” Lance said as he struggled away from Keith’s vice grip.
“You asked for it. Taste my fury.”
Lance stifled a laugh. “You’re the worst.” He pushed Keith up against the sink and whispered, “I want a real kiss.”
Keith went silent for a moment before snickering. “I--I’m sorry. I know you’re trying so hard to be suave but your face looks so stupid.”
Lance flushed. “Shut up.”
“Aw, don’t pout. I love you like this.”
Leaning in, Lance grinned. “Even if my face is covered in the most unkissable substance in the world?”
In response, Keith planted another wet smooch on Lance’s lips. “Yeah. Even then.”
"Let me go!”
“I’m almost done but you have to stop kicking m--oof!” Lance grunted and pushed Keith’s foot away from his face, “Would you hold still?”
“It tickles,” Keith whined before erupting into another fit of laughter. His leg jerked forward but this time Lance was able to catch Keith’s foot before it connected with his chin.
“Stop kicking me.”
“I can’t help it! Why don’t you quit rubbing that weird rock on my feet?”
Undeterred, Lance flung his arm in the air. “It’s a pumice stone. And it’s for removing the dead skin.”
“All skin is dead!”
“This is the deader skin!”
“That’s not a thing.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is. That’s why you love it when I rub my feet against your legs in bed. Because my skin is alive and thriving.” He shoved his foot towards Keith’s face. “See that? Smooth. Plush, even.”
Keith folded his arms in an attempt to contain himself. “Get your plush foot away from my face.”
“Keep your crusty foot away from my face and we have a deal.”
“I am not--” Lance rubbed a particularly ticklish spot and sent Keith into another laughing fit, jerking his leg forward.
Lance sighed and put down the stone. “There, I’m done. Be glad you’re so cute when you laugh or I would’ve given up long ago.”
“Wouldn’t that have been easier for both of us?”
Shrugging, Lance said, “Maybe. But then I wouldn’t be able to do this.” With that, he yanked Keith’s foot towards his ear and cradled it against his face.
Keith snorted. “What are you doing?”
“Yes, hello? May I speak to Keith please?” Lance asked in an exaggerated falsetto.
“No, you may not.”
Lance gasped. “But I have something important to tell him.”
Keith perched up on his elbow and smiled. “Leave a message.”
“Oh, well I mean if you insist.” He whipped around, dragging Keith’s foot with him. “I just wanted to tell him he’s the best boyfriend in the world and that this is the greatest present anyone has ever given me because even though he hates all this beauty crap, he loves me enough to do it anyways. And he makes me laugh and he cooks me breakfast and he buys cute gifts for my parents... And I love him so much it scares me.” His voice dropped low as he said that and, although his face was hidden, Keith could see his ears turning bright red.
Eyes widening, Keith hoisted himself upright and tugged on Lance’s arm. “Say that to my face, you idiot.”
Letting go of Keith’s foot, Lance turned around, eyes fixed on the floor. “You’re the one who said to leave a message.”
Inching closer to Lance, Keith asked, “Does that mean I can go back and listen to it anytime I want?”
“No…”
“Please? Christmas gift part two?”
Lance’s eyes flitted up and held Keith’s gaze. “You make me laugh and you cook me breakfast and you buy cute gifts for my parents and I love you so fucking much.”
“That it scares you?”
“Yeah.”
Squeezing Lance in his arms, Keith murmured, “Same here.”
Lance brought their foreheads together. “Can we pause the makeover? I suddenly have an overwhelming urge to snuggle on the couch with an Indiana Jones movie marathon and three whole boxes of pizza rolls.”
Cupping Lance’s face in his hands, Keith kissed him, slow and deliberate. “Wow, you really do love me, huh?”
“I don’t want to make you suffer all day.”
“I’m not suffering.” Lance made an incredulous noise. “I swear. This is actually pretty fun. I take back my 'only once' thing.”
Lance blinked. “Really?”
“Yeah.” He traced his thumb on Lance’s cheek. “You know, I don’t really care what we do. Anything with you is fun. It’s like your superpower”
“Keith…”
“And seeing you all excited like this is like getting myself a present.”
Lance swallowed hard as his stomach tied itself tighter and tighter. “If you don’t shut up, I’m going to ask you to marry me right here and now.”
Keith’s head shot up so fast that he smashed their noses together.
“Ow, K--”
Keith’s mouth hung open for a few seconds before he stammered, “D-do you really mean that?”
Lance looked a bit sheepish as he said, “I… It’s crazy, right? I mean, it’s way too soon. You know I was kidding.”
Keith sat up straight. “Well, I’m not. Marry me.”
“What?!”
“You heard me, you coward. Marry me.”
“That’s the worst proposal ever!”
“Worse than you threatening me with marriage so I would stop talking about how amazing you are?”
“Keith, I can’t handle this right now,” Lance cried as he buried his face in his shirt.
“It’s been nearly five years, Lance. That’s plenty of time. Some straight people get married in like three months.”
Face still hidden in his clothes, Lance joked weakly, “What, so you’re basing your life decision on the heteros now?”
“No, I’m basing this decision on my love for you. And yours for me. Isn’t that what marriage is all about? Finding someone you want to wake up next to every day? Someone who makes you laugh. Someone who takes the things you hate and makes them the most fun you've ever had.” He nudged his forehead against Lance’s. “You’re that for me and more. So what do you say?”
Lance peeked out of his shirt, tears running down his cheeks. “Of course I’m going to say yes, you piece of shit.”
Keith erupted with laughter as he took Lance’s face in his hands and kissed every inch. “I knew you would, moron.”
Lance rolled his eyes, rimmed red with tears. “Right. ‘Cause you’re such a know-it-all.”
“Mmhm.”
“And stubborn.”
“Yep.”
“And pushy.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And you’re my fiancé now.”
Keith grinned. “Regret it?”
Lance pushed Keith back onto the floor and kissed him hard. “Not even a little.”
"Congratulations, Keith!! Oh my stars, that is just… Holy quiznack! You’re engaged!!” Allura cried on the other end of the line. “I have to tell Shay when she gets home.”
Keith tucked the phone under his ear and opened the jar of sauce in his hands. “I know. We don’t even have rings yet because it was so out of the blue. Lance made us little ones out of ribbon.” He smiled as he recalled Lance tying the blue ribbon on his finger and saying, “Christmas gift part three.”
“Have you let the others know already?”
“We’ve been making the rounds. Lance can’t keep his mouth shut about it even though he was so resistant at first. The cheeky brat.”
Allura groaned. “Oh stop, I can feel your engaged bliss from here. It’s disgustingly adorable.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s pretty nauseating. I caught myself dancing while taking out the trash yesterday. I’m a mess.”
“You’re happy,” Allura corrected. “And I’m happy for you.”
“You think our wedding will be as cool as yours and Shay’s?”
Allura scoffed. “Uh, no way. But as long as you have an open bar, we’ll make it a night to remember.”
Keith winced at the thought, but just as he was about to give some excuse, he heard the front door open. “Oh, Lance is home.”
“Well, you better go then. I’ll see the two of you for dinner this weekend anyways so you can give us all more details then. Friendsmas and an engagement party? I have to go buy some champagne.”
“You do that, Allura,” Keith said with a smile before hanging up.
“Honey, I’m home!” Lance called from the hall.
“In here!” Keith said, adding some sauce to the bowl. “I thought we could have a mini barbeque night.”
“Oh, good. I think my friend here will like barbeque.”
Keith’s head shot up. “Friend?”
And as he turned around, he saw Lance cradling the tiniest little orange kitten in his hands.
“Shut the fuck up,” Keith whispered as he made his way towards Lance.
“I haven’t even said anything yet.”
Keith gingerly stroked the kitten’s head. “This is?”
“Part four. Well, actually he’s number two of the litter but still.”
“Where did you get him?”
“Hunk’s cousin’s cat was having a litter and I figured it was about time to add to our little family, so…” Lance waved one of the little paws. “Merry Christmas.”
Burying his face into the kitten and Lance’s arms, Keith choked back a sob. “He’s so fucking cute.”
“You hear that, little red? I think he likes you.”
“I love him.”
Lance raised his eyebrows. “What? On the first date? You didn’t say you loved me until like two years in.”
“It wasn’t that long.”
“Okay, like one and a half. My point still stands that it was not on day one.”
Keith extracted the kitten from Lance’s grasp. “This and that are different.”
“How exactly?”
“Because he’s a gift from the heavens and perfect in every way and you’re you.”
Lance made an offended noise but then watching Keith scratch the kitten’s chin with such joy, he conceded, “Yeah, I can’t blame you. I fell in love at first sight, too.”
“What should we name him?”
“Machete.”
“Denied.”
“Why not?! Don’t you love that kind of shit?”
“We are not naming our cat Machete.”
“C’mon, he can be Titi for short. Or Mashie.” Lance cooed at the cat, “Right, Mashie? My little Titi. My big, scary dangerous killing machine. My macho man.”
Keith choked back a laugh. “Lance, no.”
“Lance, yes. You know you’re not going to be able to think of him as anything else. He is Machete now.”
“He is n--” Keith glanced down at the kitten who mewled back.
“See, he likes it.” Lance picked him up and lifted him in the air. “And on this day, I christen thee Machete!!”
“Don’t swing our son around like that,” Keith said as he grabbed Lance’s arms.
“This is a rite of passage. All great warriors must endure it.” Lance kissed Keith on the forehead. “Don’t worry, I’m going to be the fun dad and you can be the worrywart dad.”
“I can be a fun dad. I’m the one with the motorcycle! That’s fun.”
“No, that’s just sexy.”
Keith smirked and snaked his arms around Lance’s waist. “You think I’m sexy?”
“Maybe.”
“So I’m the sexy dad?”
“No, that’s definitely me. I have more sexy points than you. The motorcycle is only like five sexy points and that stupid jacket you have is like negative ten so it cancels out.”
“Well, then those fuzzy slippers you have are like negative fifteen at least.”
Lance pouted. “You don’t like my fuzzy slippers?”
Machete meowed, causing Lance and Keith to look down at his tiny body, stretching in protest.
Lance clucked his tongue soothingly. “Oh, sweetie, Daddy and I aren’t fighting. Don’t worry your little fuzzy wuzzy head. We love each other very much.”
Keith pressed himself closer to Lance. “Do we?”
“Dunno, you tell me.”
Their lips met in a kiss so tender that it made all of Keith’s hairs stand on end. He shivered as Lance’s free hand traced down his back.
“God, I love when you do that,” Lance muttered as he yanked Keith closer to him, stumbling back a little against the wall.
Another soft meow brought them back to reality as Machete clawed his way onto Keith’s shirt.
“He likes me better,” Keith boasted as he tucked his face into Lance’s chest.
“Of course he does. You smell like barbeque,” Lance said as he buried his face in Keith’s hair. “Which is plus two sexy points.”
Keith was about to retort when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw the red ribbon tied around Lance's ring finger. “Hey, Lance.”
“Hm?”
“I’m so happy right now I think I’m going to explode.”
With a chuckle, Lance kissed the top of Keith’s head. “Me too, mullet brain. Me too.”