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Min Yoongi does not like being awake. If people ask the thing that he enjoyed the most, he would say ‘sleep’ without any hesitation. With his messed up schedule that most of the times got him awake the whole night and asleep when the suns out, sleep is important: it kept him from killing everybody on a 5 ft radius just because they are annoying. Yoongi enjoy sleeping.
But, well, he enjoyed spending time with his boyfriend more. The human incarnations of a ball of sunshine that called himself Jung Hoseok- well to be fair, his parents named him- and that Yoongi had the privilege of calling his boyfriend. Their schedule does not match, it was a wonder they could get together in the first place. Yoongi’s a struggling producer at a new music company while Hoseok is a final year student that majored in business economics with dance tutoring as a side job. While Yoongi got most of his inspirations as soon as the sun sets, Hoseok more often than not will be dead tired by the time he came home from his university classes and dance classes. Their week went on like this, which made them appreciate the weekend and day-offs more. The days where they both could snuggle and stay in bed until for as long as they like and order food because both are too lazy to take a bath and being presentable enough to go out, these days are precious. On those days, Yoongi could stay awake all day, as long as he got Hoseok by his side.
It was Wednesday morning when Hoseok shook him awake at seven in the morning. The sun didn’t show any sign of showing up anytime soon and it was probably a minus degree outside. Yoongi had just came home at four, only got the time to sleep a few minutes before five. And he love his boyfriend, he really does, but being woken up only two hours after falling asleep was not the best thing in the world. Especially if you are Min Yoongi.
“Hyung,” He could feel Hoseok gently stroking his arms in order to rouse him from his sleep. He only grunted in response.
“Hyung, I’m sorry but can you please wake up?” The other thread carefully, knowing well that his boyfriend was tired and waking up a tired Yoongi needs precautions.
“Wha,” Yoongi grunted again. His sleep-addled mind going around between fuck why do you wake me up and don’t stop rubbing my arm its nice but what came out was a muddled ‘why’.
“Hyung, I know you’re tired but this is important. Please?"
“Are you dying?” He mustered enough strength to mutter a coherent response.
“What?"
“Are you dyingI?”Yoongi tried again, louder this time.
“Wha- No! I’m alive and well, I’m afraid. Sorry,” Hoseok said and smiled cheekily, now brushing bangs over Yoongi’s forehead.
“You will be if what you’re waking me up for is not that important,” Yoongi threatened, though it fell on deaf ears because Hoseok was giggling. It was a nice sound, honestly.
“Okay, you can kill me later, but please can you wake up now? I promise you could sleep again later,” Hoseok tried again as he resorted to softly kissing Yoongi’s head, trailing down to his nose, then down to his lips. Yoongi welcomed him with a sleepy and sloppy kiss, and as he opened his eyes- his tired, tired eyes that felt like it had been attached to a weight- he meet another pair he had grown to love.
“Good morning,” Hoseok breathed against his lips, smiling.
“You think you could bribe me with a kiss?”
“Well, i could try,” He gave Yoongi another quick peck before slowly pulling him up into a sitting position.
Hoseok had been awake for at least an hour, judging from how awake he was and how clean he smelt. He must’ve taken a shower before waking him up.
“Don’t you have class at 8?” Yoongi asked.
“Rescheduled to 10. Then I’m free until the dance class at 5,"
Yoongi squinted his eyes at Hoseok. “Then why the fuck did you wake me up this early?"
Hoseok made panicky shushing sound. “Hyung, she doesn’t like it when you curse!"
That woke Yoongi up.
“’She’? Who’s ’she’? Is there somebody else in the apartment?” Yoongi tried to peer over Hoseok’s shoulder, out over the door onto the living room. He expect somebody to wave or something but there was nobody there.
He looked at Hoseok, who stared at him with so much uncertainty in his eyes.
“Hyung, I really don’t know how else to say this but this has been bugging me-she has been bugging me for DAYS and I really cannot do anything anymore without her demanding me to tell you-“ He started speaking so fast for Yoongi’s sleep-addled brain to catch but Yoongi heard ‘bugging me’ and ’she’ and ’tell you’ and he drawn his own conclusion.
“Wait, wait, wait.She? Jung Hoseok are you cheating on me? With a girl? That is now inside our apartment?” Yoongi spat out a lot more viciously than he thought he would, cutting Hoseok’s ramblings.
“What?No!” Hoseok looked absolutely scandalized with Yoongi’s response. “Why would you think that way?"
“I don’t know. I'm sorry, you kept rambling on and on about a ‘she’ and I can’t really conjure up any ‘she’ that would be bugging you about something that had to do with me,” He reasoned.
His boyfriend got silent at that. He started playing with the bed sheet, twisting it between his fingers as he struggled to find the right word to say.
“Well,”
Yoongi looked at Hoseok suspiciously. “Did you break something of mine?"
“No. I mean, yeah, I did dent your favorite mug this morning but that really is beside the point,"
He kept looking at the door, as if looking for reassurance from it.
“And the point is?” Yoongi started to get impatient. He really wasn’t awake enough for this conversation.
But he really did not expect Hoseok’s answer either.
“It’s your grandmother,"
It was followed by a minute of silence and them looking at each other.
“Come again?"
And this time, when Hoseok opened his mouth, he cannot seemed to stop. “Your grandmother, hyung. She's been bugging me for says. She doesn’t like it that you kept dyeing your hair into different colors, you’re going to get bald before 30 and she said that you are not getting enough rest, what are you doing inside that studio all day? You need to work out more, and hang out in the sun more before you turn even paler. She also thought that you better listen to her because she told you to drink more milk and play in the sun when you were little but you don’t listen so who’s fault is it that you cannot grow taller?"
Yoongi stared at Hoseok like the other had grown a third eye.
“Oh, and she also mentioned that her handkerchief that you thought you lost months ago is at your parents house, inside the big black wardrobe in your parents room, under the stack of your father’s shirts. You left it there the last time you visited your parents and your mother just kept it there without knowing, yeah..."
Yoongi was stiil staring at Hoseok while the other kept playing with the bed sheet, avoiding his eyes. He cannot remember mentioning anything about losing his handkerchief to Hoseok though, and how would he know that it’s in his parents house? Back in Daegu?
“Hoseok,"
“Yeah?"
“My grandmothers are dead,"
Hoseok gave a little sad, understanding nod. “Yeah, I know,"
“Both of them,"
Hoseok gave another sympathetic nod. “I know. I’m sorry, hyung,” He looked genuinely distraught, like he doesn’t know what to do with himself, and he took a deep breath before continuing.
“Hyung, I can communicate with dead people,"
Yoongi was definitely not awake enough for this.
* * *
Half an hour and two cups of coffee later, Yoongi was at least coherent and awake enough not snap at everybody. Everybody here being Hoseok, because there was nobody there except the two of them. His dead grandmother, a little voice said in his head. Not out loud though, because that would mean that he believed about the existence of the supernatural and Yoongi is the most logical person there is, ghost is quite high on the list of ‘things he does not believe in’. But the thing is, Yoongi believed in Hoseok. Sure, the younger one jokes from time to time, but he cannot lie- his body language will give it up every time. As they sat side-by-side on the couch, Yoongi can see how nervous Hoseok had become: his hands fidgeting, limbs restless, eyes looking everywhere but Yoongi’s own.
The next time he spoke, Yoongi did so with careful consideration.
“So,” He started, breaking the silence in the house and pulling Hoseok out of his own thoughts.
“So…” Hoseok continued. He sounded timid and a tad bit scared.
“You can talk-communicate with dead people, basically ghost?” Yoongi thread his words carefully, though what he said still made him cringe a little in the end. He never thought those words will ever came out of his mouth.
“Yeah,"
“Does that mean that you can see them too?"
A small nod. “Some clearer than others. They’re never solid, though, its like watching through an out-of-focus lens that is slightly distorted, if that makes any sense,”
“How does that work, though? Does she talk to you like we do?”
Hoseok quiet down to conjure up an answer with a low hum. “I know I said ‘talk’, but I’m using the term pretty widely. It’s more like they’re projecting images into me: sometimes memories, sometimes moments as it happened,"
Yoongi nods though he haven’t really grasp the concept.“And you’ve been able to do this since…?"
“As long as I could remember, really. When I was younger, my perception on things are more open. I had less fear and more faith in a lot of things so I saw them everywhere when I was a kid. Befriend some of them, too,” Hoseok chuckled at the memory. Yoongi can’t help but to smile at that. So typical of Hoseok to befriend everything.
“Of course you would,” Yoongi took Hoseok’s hand in his, realizing that the younger was slightly shaking.
“Oh shut up, hyung. Chae-won was nice. Well, nice enough for the spirit of a seven-year-old who drowned at the nearby lake. You know, as a kid it was kind of hard to distinguish which one is which. They got mixed up a lot, made my parents worry a lot too. They told me to keep it a secret until I am old enough to handle it,"
“Handle what?"
Hoseok was smiling, but his eyes were sad. “You know, people leaving and calling me crazy after knowing that their friends can talk with ghosts. No parents want their kids befriend a kid who claim they can 'see' dead people. I’m pretty lucky my parents and Seokjin-hyung believed in me,"
Yoongi ran his thumb over Hoseok’s hand, offering silent comfort.
“I mean, kids were cruel, but I got some pretty chill friends. A handful of them know and they stayed but it’s not like I can tell everybody I met that I can see dead people. Wouldn’t be a good conversation starter, would it?"
They laughed quietly. “No, it definitely wouldn’t.”
It got quiet again.
"Is that…” Yoongi started, then hesitated. He’s very obviously threading through this conversation very carefully. “Is that why you haven’t told me?”
It was Hoseok’s turn to hesitate. His stare shook as he look into Yoongi’s eyes in his effort to look as serious as possible. To Yoongi he just looked scared.
“Maybe?” He sounds so small as he replied, searching Yoongi’s eyes for some reassurance that Yoongi himself wasn’t sure he had. “You must’ve think I had a screw loose or something,”
The chuckle that went out of Hoseok’s mouth sounded bitter and resigned.
Yoongi doesn’t like it.
“For the record, you seeing ghost is definitely no crazier than you believing in Santa until like, the third grade,”
That seemed to draw a chuckle out of Hoseok that disappeared as soon as he open his mouth again. “Do you, though?”
“Do I what?”
“Do you believe me?”
Does he?
While not religious, Yoongi definitely believe in a higher power, something bigger than everything he know existed. After all, it seems a little bit arrogant to think that the world as he sees, hear and feel are the only thing that existed. And while he’s not entirely sure about the existence of spirits and ghosts, he knows for sure that he trusted Hoseok.
So with a tenderness reserved for the younger one, Yoongi slowly pulled him closer and looked him right in the eye, smiling as he answered.
“I might not be entirely on board with the idea of spirits yet, but I’ll always believe in you. That’s one thing you can count on me to do,” He ended with a small peck on Hoseok’s quivering lips, feeling him smiling against his lips.
“The kids wouldn’t believe me if I told them how cheesy you are,” Hoseok said, posture relaxing.
He gave Hoseok another peck just for good measure. “Only for you,”
They fell into silence again, this time more comfortable, until Yoongi realized something.
“Hoseok-ah,"
“Yeah?"
“Is she- is she here right now?"
Hoseok took a few seconds to process that question before smiling as he answered.
“She’s near. She’s always near,” Hoseok squeezed Yoongi’s hands. “Do you want to talk to her? Well, more like you talk, she listened and the I translated the images and moments she projected into words but yeah, it’s communication somehow,”
Yoongi hesitated for a while. He hasn’t thought about his grandmother for the longest time, ever since she passed away five years ago. The one from his father’s side, anyway. She was closer to Yoongi than even his own parents, having taken care of him a lot as child when his parents worked. As a kid, he always told her how much he wanted to work in the music industry one day, and the day he got accepted at the company, she kept coming into his mind as he wanted nothing more than to be able to tell her how close he had gotten to his dream since then. Hoseok mentioned the handkerchief, he had a pretty good guess of which grandmother has been haunting him. She gave it to Yoongi a few days before she died, and the fact that Yoongi managed to lost it all those months ago had made him feel like such a shitty grandson.
“Can you tell her that I’ll try not to stay up late and dyeing my hair that much anymore? The staying up part might be harder to do but I’ll try. Also, thank her for always watching over me, even after all these time. I’m not sure I’m even worth watching over,“ He let out a bitter chuckle. "I will visit her soon, I promise. And I’m- I'm sorry about the handkerchief, how careless I was with it, and everything else really. I’ll be more careful with my stuff and body from now on,” He was surprised with how those words just flow out once he started. He felt a little bit raw after opening himself up like this, but whatever, Hoseok knew almost everything about him anyway.
It took a while before Hoseok could response. He was starring at an empty spot just beside Yoongi, nodding and smiling to himself -to his grandmother?- in what seems to be a silent conversation.
“She’ll be counting on it, hyung. She wants you to visit you parents too while you’re there. It has been a while. They missed you even though they did not express it,” Explained Hoseok. He shuffled closer so that they were almost in an embrace and spoke to Yoongi’s ear. “Hyung, you don’t have to worry. She never had a doubt that you would make it. Even as a child, she always thought you and your dreams shine the brightest. She’s proud of you, hyung. Always,”
And just like that, the rush of emotion he had tried to block since Hoseok mentioned his grandmother came out all at once as he slumped into Hoseok’s embrace and cried silently. He had promised himself and his grandmother in front of her grave that he will not cry anymore, not when it’s about her. But he guess she’ll have to excuse him this once because he hadn’t realized himself how much he needed that validation and acknowledgement about his achievements from a parental figure in his life.
He cried for a while, letting all his pent-up emotions out right there and then, and Hoseok just held him through it, running a gentle hand through his back. It haven’t crossed his mind before how hard it must’ve been for the younger to keep this by himself for that long. He must’ve mulled it over and over again in his mind about his reaction on this situation and how he would react. So he said the only thing he could say to him at that moment.
“Thank you,” He mumbled into Hoseok’s hair.
“I didn’t do anything really-,”
“And I’m sorry,” He cut the younger before he could finish his sentence. He could feel the confusion on Hoseok's face, mushed onto his shoulder, and as he tried to get out of the hug, Yoongi tightened his arms around him.
“Wha’ for, hyung?” Hoseok replied, muffled by his shoulder. He had given up trying to get out of Yoongi’s embrace so he’d just snuggled closer.
“For making you think that somehow, I wouldn’t believe you. That you had to suffer alone thinking how would I react,”
“Hyung, that’s not your fault, really. I was just being stupid,” Hoseok rocked both of them slowly in Yoongi’s embrace. It was a comforting motion for both.
“No, you’re not. I’m sorry that you think you couldn’t trust me with this, Hoseok, but believe me when I say I would trust you with my life. So from now on, please tell me about anything that you’re worried and struggling with, even if you think that it doesn’t matter. It does matter if I can somehow help lessen the burden. And in turn, I’ll try to be more open about, everything, really,” He rambled. From the one year they had been together, this was probably the first time they had a talk about this kind of thing. And Yoongi’s glad they did. He wouldn’t want something as petty as miscommunication create a riff in their relationship.
He could feel Hoseok giggling into his shoulder. “Okay, hyung. Thanks for believing me, it means a lot,”
They stay like there for a solid five minutes, just rocking back and forth in each other’s embraces, enjoying the quiet morning and the company.
“So, does this mean we’ll be going on a trip soon?”
Yoongi laughed at that. “Yeah, a vacation is long overdue anyway. We’ll go whenever we’re free within the month. Would you like that?”
Hoseok pushed Yoongi away so fast they almost both fall from the couch in excitement. “Yay! I’ll check the calendar for the next public holiday,” He exclaimed excitedly as he practically leaped from the couch and reach for the calendar, spring in his step.
Yoongi just chuckled at that, feeling lighter than he had been in a long while. And as he watched Hoseok looking through the calendar for the next public holiday, talking animatedly about what they’re going to do and where else they can go, Yoongi slipped a silent whisper through his teeth.
“Thanks, grandma,”
He hoped she heard it.
(She did)