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Break up wasn’t a new thing in his experienced love life. He had dated a lot of people back then in high school and college phase. He had his reputation high as ladies’ man and pretty boy. Let’s not forget to mention the charm flowing over from his whole presence and made either predators or preys looked at his direction in awe.
He knew the pain of expired love and the taste of goodbye word, yet, he never was the devoting one, as long as he checked his record, so it was manageable.
Kise Ryouta hardly got attached onto someone. Hardly, until Aomine Daiki happened six months ago and they ended yesterday.
.
One, one, one, one, one...
.
He has seen it coming, the loose of distance and the look in his eyes. It was dark, unreadable, as if Aomine changed to a new person who didn’t even have the slightest care when he was so broken by his words in their last fight. It was on the surface already, Kise could sense the words already parked on the tip of the latter’s tongue.
“I want a break up.”
That judgment sentence had been repeating like a broken tape in his brain as he curled under the thick blanket. Curling into a ball, cursing himself till morning again. How it was possible for him to be so careless? He shouldn’t be that dependent to Aomine, why he even stepped into an uncured disappointment hole.
.
Talkin' in my sleep at night, makin' myself crazy
(Out of my mind, out of my mind)
Wrote it down and read it out, hopin' it would save me
(Too many times, too many times)
.
In their six months together, fights and arguments were unavoidable. But, at the end of the day, Kise found himself calmed by the sweet words from Aomine’s lips. Recently he understood how a moron he had been walking his feeling into the snare.
The words coated honey were always dangerous, from whoever lips that came.
Kise slapped himself in front of mirror the night after his official separation with Aomine.
He blamed the impulsiveness of his excitement. Just because Aomine was unique in his way, there’s no guarantee that they would meet no end.
“You already failed the very basic rule, idiot.”
The reflection that stared back into him was the manifestation of misery. The black under his swollen lids, the death light of his topaz diamond, he looked halfway like a zombie. The only different probably was the red handprint on his porcelain cheek.
Heart beaten so fast in vague; agony and sadness and craving for his warm arms.
The whole night he held back from crying, because he had his vow for it. That he wouldn’t drop any single tear for his ex. It’s already years ago, the time he shouted the words in his graduation day behind the main building of Tokyo University.
Yet, after twelve hours of struggling and cold freezing his soul, he cried silently under the cover of his bed sheet. In the quietness of his fresh wound, he cursed his idiocy, blamed himself for being drown so deep.
Why didn’t he walk away first? He had guessed it in their first fight when he found Aomine in a bar flirting girl with miniskirt. Yet, he still stuck by the other’s side because none could pamper him as good as Aomine did.
He regretted it deeply now. Why did he even allow his arrogance taking control? The selfish side which has been the source of all his mourned nights, why he even chose to hear it again?
In between his tears, he remembered how Aomine had put his hope down a lot of time when he really needed a survivor. He realized how easy he let those I’m busy excuses to go.
Kise wished to get a comatose, his head throbbing like crazy. Every single detail came attacking his mind searching for a scapegoat, only made him surer that he would turn insane in an instant with all the voice shouting in his head.
.
My love, he makes me feel like nobody else, nobody else
But my love, he doesn't love me, so I tell myself, I tell myself
.
Days passed by, it was the third day and the aching was as real as it could be. Piercing and burning in a place he couldn’t heal physically.
He began to consider the idea of having a psychiatrist, but then it didn’t make sense. It’s just a broken heart, not a broken mind. But his soul cracked what should he do?
Kise rubbed his face harsh, cursing the man who left him for another man that he said a better fuck than he was. What a jerk, he banged his head to the wall. He tried to breath, but if he did, he would fall back to reality.
Why Aomine made him feel too special, it left only crumbled hatred now.
He hate to be a weakling. He hate to be unable to hold a grip of himself. Aomine should be grateful that he went home unharmed that night after their break up.
Contrary to what people saw, Kise Ryouta wasn’t quite the goody-goody two shoes he seemed to be. He had beaten people nearly death because they kidnapped his step brother and sexually harassed that brunette boy.
But, lucky Aomine for giving him too much sweetness toxic to remember. He could only assure himself to forget about that man and continue his life.
.
One: Don't pick up the phone
You know he's only callin' 'cause he's drunk and alone
Two: Don't let him in
You'll have to kick him out again
Three: Don't be his friend
You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning
And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him
.
“Ryouta. Open the door.”
The knocks on the door came with a familiar voice he hasn’t heard for years. It shook him out from the haze in his mind.
Kise went hurriedly to the front door of his apartment.
A red haired man stood as regal as high pride of royal blood running in his vein. Akashi Seijuuro, Kise met him years ago in his fuzzy childhood memory. It wasn’t too surprising when Akashi knocked on his door without a call. His parents have entrusted Akashi to be his guardian.
They’re arranged to be married by their parents since 17, afterall.
However, upon their parents’ proposal, they had decided together and said it openly to offer another proposal. It was Akashi’s plan, Kise was too shocked to able to work his brain at that moment.
They would try to date first, if it didn’t work in romantic way after three months, they should be given the right to choose their own couple. Then, if the second condition wasn’t fulfilled until the decided time, their parents’ proposal would be accepted without any further argument.
Three months with Akashi, it was rather amazing. They became incredibly close friend yet it’s so puzzling with Akashi’s distant personality and they agreed that they couldn’t step on a higher level; for now, was the additional Akashi given to him before that Akashi’s successor continued his study in Stanford, USA.
“Akashicchi, uhm – did I make you wait? Pl – please come in,” he stuttered slightly when he felt the sharp gaze from the ruby orbs locking his figure. It’s rare to find Akashi visiting him with such gaze, especially that he wasn’t ill.
“Did you break up with Aomine Daiki?”
Ah, Kise could feel the tight squeeze in his heart when that name being said.
It’s not unheard. Kise scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, avoiding the chill of Akashi’s eyes. Akashi always tracked his date: girls or boys, noble or peasant, old or young, he had the complete data of them. Where’s the address, how many are their exes, what the job they do for living, did they have criminal records; it’s listed neatly in his study room.
Sound creepy, wasn’t it? Yet, most of the time, Kise walked out from danger safely because Akashi did it.
Akashi walked in as Kise bit his lips, snitching his senses to disguise the source of his ache. A small bang from the closed door snapped his head up. He gave the latter a bitter smile.
“Yeah…”
There’s a subtle tension between them. When Akashi’s eyes met his, the ruby he adored for its depth color was burning in perhaps irritation. Kise was first to break the connection and asked if Akashi would like to drink something, which he refused immediately.
“I’m here to check you and have a conversation.”
There’s urgency in his voice and Kise nodded hesitantly. They sat crossing each other, eyes in one level. Akashi loosened his tie, sneakily observing the blond who was deep in thought.
“Don’t dwell on him.”
Kise slowly raised his head. The statement came from the latter lips was firm and it slapped him right on face.
Akashi stayed on his position, solid posture and intense stare. “I’ve looked into his profile. He’s a filty spider, spreading his web to catch his prays and using them until the last bit.”
He’s taken aback by the fact (he knew Akashi has done a full investigation or whatever to say that, Akashi Seijuuro didn’t waste his time for unnecessary talk, Kise recalled). Aomine gave the impression of typical fuckboy, indeed, but was it really? It’s hard for Kise to take Akashi’s words when his heart tricked him with Aomine loving and passionate action.
But, was it really because Aomine felt something strong about him, or because Aomine felt so good for his pants? The hostile side of his heart argued.
“As your parents have entrusted me to keep you safe, I’d like you to follow my words, rules for you to obey. It’s for your own good to stay away from him.”
Had words could reform into an object, Akashi would have become a declaration of life-sentence. It wasn’t arguable when he had that tone in his voice. Kise felt an ache in his heart. Should he really stay away? But wasn’t there a possibility that Aomine simply not in his right mind with the break up?
How if Aomine still has his feeling left?
Akashi has foreseen the hesitation in Kise’s face. Thus, he calmly snapped Kise out from his daydreaming. “Do you want to be his play thing, Ryouta?”
Kise heaved sharply. His pride was hurt, and as his logic came forward, the hostile of his heart grew bigger.
“… no, Akashicchi.”
That moment, his phone ringed. It was from the bedroom.
As if it was his place, Akashi casually snatched the phone first before Kise did. He knew who was calling. They both knew. Kise was prone to set a special ringtone for each of people in his contact, and judged by Kise’s expression, the red haired was sure that one was from Aomine.
“Listen carefully.” He’s right, as he always did anyway, Aomine Daiki was the name of the caller. “First, don't pick any of his call.” His finger landed on the reject icon on the phone.
“You are weak with words, he is so fluid with words. You’ll gradually say yes to whatever he wants and you’ll regret it after.”
And there Kise was biting his inner lips to repress his emotional side. Realizing the truth of Akashi’s words, it hit him hard.
“Second.” Akashi continued, ignoring the solemn in Kise’s face. “If he comes to get you here, don’t open the door. If you meet him somewhere don’t take any of his words. Don’t let him in, again.”
Kise nodded tentatively, it would be hard to do, but as Akashi has said, it’s best for him. And Akashi has proven himself as a qualified guardian. He owed the red haired a lot than anyone.
“Third, if he persuades you to stay in touch with him as friend or anything close to that term, tell him no. You don’t need a jerk in your life, Ryouta.”
.
I got new rules, I count 'em
I got new rules, I count 'em
I gotta tell them to myself
I got new rules, I count 'em
I gotta tell them to myself
.
It was hard to make it real; Kise found himself staring into nothing at few occasions when the thought of Aomine crossed his mind. However, the first week was quite smooth because Akashi stayed in his apartment while working his new business plan, and they spend time together whenever Kise went. With Akashi’s help, distracting him from anything related Aomine, he managed to get calmer.
It’s refreshing too that he felt more relieved after told Akashi’s everything, his regrest anger and everything.
The second week, nonetheless, was the opposite. Akashi was away to Belgium. It’s when his torture began. Without none to talk, it’s quite hard. But then he filled it with works, he took as many jobs as possible. He barely remembered how many photo session he had in a day because everything moved fast.
He avoided Aomine’s call. Every sorry message was deleted. When Aomine knocked his door, he stayed a log on the couch watching. He followed everything that Akashi had told him.
It made him feeling better but somehow hollow inside. It was like uneasy beat in his heart, expecting something. An anticipation that he couldn’t quite form it into words.
It came.
Aomine gave him a visit in one of his photo session. An apologetic smile and a bouquet chrysanthemum that Kise liked. It was a good strategy, Kise muttered in his mind as he looked around. Aomine knew that he wasn’t fond to make a fuss in crowded place. Now, Aomine was unavoidable.
It killed Kise. He only took a deep breath when Aomine did his sweet short speech. Telling him how he had been so wrong and blah blah blah. It was touching actually, but he remembered Akashi’s hand ruffling his hair and the serious worried eyes that he knew so well true since their childhood.
He chuckled and smiled to hide the fact that his throat dry and he felt so sour.
“Thank you, Aominecchi, but that’s all I can say, and I have a life to live on, in much better way, bye.” He said casually. Even though inwardly he felt so tensed, his hands cold. Before Aomine could proceed, he has jog to the crew and show his best act.
He gave the bouquet to his fans, then. And, he went home after paying a stop in front of Maji Burger to buy a cup of vanilla milkshake. That night, to lessen the ache and calming his sea, he called his step brother until he falls asleep. Enjoying the flat and stoic comments from his beloved Tetsuya until he was more relaxed and fell asleep.
.
I keep pushin' forwards, but he keeps pullin' me backwards
(Nowhere to turn, no way)
(Nowhere to turn, no)
.
Aomine sent him presents and a letter after he walked away easily from him yesterday. The letter was a damned stuff from the devil. Kise felt like he was being pulled forcefully when Aomine barging out about their happy moment and that he wanted them to still at last be friend, with benefit was unsaid, but Kise knew it will come later.
He inhaled a deep breath and said out loud the rules that Akashi has taught him. It became a magical spell for him.
He didn’t want to stop halfway. He was struggling until he reached this point and if he should fail one’s hope, he would choose to fail Aomine’s. Akashi has been saving his life and freedom more than once; he wasn’t going to fail Akashi’s.
It’s no way he’ll turn back.
.
Now I'm standin' back from it, I finally see the pattern
(I never learn, I never learn)
But my love, he doesn't love me, so I tell myself, I tell myself
I do, I do, I do
.
Almost a month since their broke up, Aomine still tried. After a check, Kise found out that his “ex’s new date” loved in America for a while. Kise only snorted and showed his disgust when he starts to see the pattern. It wasn’t too surprising then when he found out that Aomine currently also tried to seduce a friend he knew while trying to make up with him.
He saw what Akashi had warned him.
Aomine was simply just very experienced to fit himself to get the person he favour. He was a fuckboy, and Kise was more than assured that what Aomine sew in him wasn’t love or adoration. It’s lust and his own selfishness.
Of course. Kise told himself. This time, without hestitation, he built his wall high to prevent Aomine to sneak in.
Akashi returned at the end of the month, offered him a job as a model for Dolce and Gabbana fashion show in Milan.
.
One: Don't pick up the phone
You know he's only callin' 'cause he's drunk and alone
Two: Don't let him in
You'll have to kick him out again
Three: Don't be his friend
You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning
And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him
.
His fame quickly rocketed in the high tire families. He changed a lot and gained a lot. More freedom, more smile and more shine.
He was a living sun, or what the magazine has crowned him as. Aomine still tried. They met, after a cold words that made him shudder, but he remembered the rule well and waved him away.
“Who are you to tell me what to do?”
He was more prideful. Aomine held his hand, a smirk on his face. He whispered that he knows well that Kise had held back, persuading him to be back in his arm with lewd words and smug smirk.
Yes Kise did hold back, in different sense. He coldly returns the smug smirk on Aomine’s lips with a scoff and annoyed smirk, he jerk his hand free from Aomine’s hold quite easily.
“If anything that I have to hold back, it’s not to punch you on face.”
It was half lie but he managed to make it looked real and walked away. He knew the come out of his action was pretty great. He could see Aomine’s face cracking in disbelief.
.
I got new rules, I count 'em
I got new rules, I count 'em
I gotta tell them to myself
I got new rules, I count 'em
I gotta tell them to myself
.
Akashi asked him how he felt. One day in a rainy day when the red haired invited him to his penthouse. Kise answered it’s quite okay, and slowly he managed to feel far better.
Yes, he actually felt better without worrying Aomine and all the shits he could do to hurt him.
Akashi chuckled, he looked every bit of a proud teacher. Then, he took Kise to a dinner.
It’s been so long since Akashi stayed in Japan. That day, it was long enough for them to get out for dinner. Kise was actually happy that they could spend time together and so he agreed.
Yet, in the top class restaurant which chosen by Akashi, they met Aomine there. He looked very angry. That man walked straightly to them when Akashi was helping Kise when he almost fell because of his clumsiness. That tan man stormed like a thunder and grabbed Akashi’s collar. He accused Akashi to be the one restricting Kise to meet him.
Kise stood for. He punched Aomine right on face the way he once dreamt it after their break-up.
“You’re the one who walk out from my life. So stop acting like you should be in my life and decide what I should and can do.”
He didn’t cry or showed any winch of heartache. Kise was purely angry and after he punched Aomine once more. He really felt all the weight on his shoulder lifted. Aomine almost attacked him back, showing his true color. But then Akahsi with his scissor came.
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Practice makes perfect
I'm still tryna learn it by heart (I got new rules, I count 'em)
Eat, sleep, and breathe it
Rehearse and repeat it, 'cause I... (I got new...)
.
Practice makes perfect, people said. It did. Kise has not flinched anymore when he heard Aomine’s name or when he said his name. His brain knew better and his heart went along, He lived his life as Akashi has told him to.
He became more famous as model that he accepted more jobs and made the world acknowledge him even more.
Well, there’s a glint of guilty since he wasn’t keen to punch people. But he didn’t bother to think about it. That wasn’t his fault when he punched Aomine on face.
And now, he could proudly say that he got over Aomine.
.
One: Don't pick up the phone (yeah)
You know he's only callin' 'cause he's drunk and alone (alone)
Two: Don't let him in (uh-ooh)
You'll have to kick him out again (again)
Three: Don't be his friend
You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning
And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him
I got new rules, I count 'em
I got new rules, I count 'em
(Whoa-ooh, whoa-ooh, whoa)
I gotta tell them to myself
I got new rules, I count 'em
(Baby, you know I count 'em)
I gotta tell them to myself
Don't let him in, don't let him in
Don't, don't, don't, don't...
Don't be his friend, don't be his friend
Don't, don't, don't, don't...
Don't let him in, don't let him in
Don't, don't, don't, don't...
Don't be his friend, don't be his friend
Don't, don't, don't, don't...
You're gettin' over him
.
Kise is walking around the town, stylish as always. Being one of the supermodels in the world, he should keep his figure presentable anytime and anywhere. The whispers and squeals around him are heard quite loud, yet he is trained for that. He let it be and continue his steps forward.
It’s a good day. He’s going to have lunch with Akashi. The red haired now has settled back in japan after his plan to expand his family business over sea succeeded.
From: Akashicchi
I’ll arrive there in 5 mnts.
He can’t hold his grin to bloom. Hurriedly, he responded that message. In doing so, he accidently bumps into someone as he is too focusing on texting.
It’s Aomine Daiki for his surprised. He is walking with a girl, black haired, and very clingy from the way she holds Aomie’s arm. Kise knows that girl as one of daughter from his father’s friend.
“Well, isn’t this Kise Ryouta-kun?” The girl greets him with a slutty smile.
Kise chuckles lightly, casually greeting her back with a cheeky grin. Aomine’s presence there doesn’t give him a flinch, he is in happy mood after all and nah Aomine is old story.
“Heard you’re engaged with the Akashi.”
“Well, yeah, it’s been planned. Akashicchi is a very great partner as well.” He grins. It turns out that they become pretty well as couple. It’s been almost a years for them, and everything is never getting out of hand. “Ah, I should go now, he’s not keen on having late agenda.”
Then, the girl giggles and waves him bye-bye, pulling Aomine away. From the corner of his eyes, Kise can see a great regret reflected in Aomine’s eyes and he’s pleased by that.
He has proven himself.