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Some days were dark and full of misery while his mind is trying to destroy itself. The meds helped a lot but they couldn’t entirely stop what was happening to him.
Some days were clear and bright, even more if Isak was beside him. Isak was like the sun, his own personal sun, brightening his days and making him smile.
His time with Sonja, the way their relationship had worked had been different and bittersweet at the end. She was understanding about his condition but while she was supportive in a way, she kind of got used to it and became indifferent.
Despite the appearances, their relationship had already been sort of rocky months before he had met and fell in love with Isak.
His relationship with Isak was an affectionate and emotional adventure with its joys and sorrows.
When Sonja had watched Even from afar when he had a manic phase, Isak found a way to go with the flow, like he had done the night of their first kiss, when they had ditched their respective girlfriends and ended up breaking in a house to take a dip in the swimming pool, even if at the time he hadn’t know what was happening to Even. As long as it was safe for Even, Isak just followed his lead.
He was still in contact with Sonja, they were friends. Even though she was still a little angry that Even had broke up with her, she could see how how he was with Isak, how they fit together. He wasn't in love with her anymore but he still liked her and didn't want to erase what they had for all these years.
Isak had been scared at first when he had learned about Even's sickness, he did not understand what was happening. But after he did, he was there, in the good and the bad moments and in-between, whether he was manic or depressed or feeling good, he was here, caring and always trying to find new way to help Even cope with himself. Isak always knew when to leave Even alone and when Even needed him, he just knew. It was one of many reasons Even was so in love with him.
He was glad that Isak was more comfortable with him, with their relationship now. There was nothing better than seeing a happy and carefree Isak smiling at him.
When before he was uncomfortable with public display of affection now he relished in them and even initiated them sometimes, throwing himself in Even’s arms after a too long day and devouring his lips.
Before Isak, Even had tried not to think about the future, his future. If his illness would get worse or maybe better, if he would have someone at his side, someone to love and who loved him back.
Now, he can see it and doesn’t scare him. He could see himself, together with his lover, beautiful, caring and understanding Isak. He can imagine, see them in the future so in love with each other, sharing kisses, clothes and happy memories.
Just having Isak in his arms made most of the bad things go away and calmed is overloaded mind. Both of them resting in their bed, Even pulling the sheet more tightly around his boyfriend, stroking his hair until he woke up and gifted him with a sleepy smile, peppering kisses on his face while Isak nuzzled into his neck, their arms wrapped around each other and their legs tangled. He could spend hours like this with him, exchanging loving kisses, their noses brushing. Simply having Isak in his arms made him feel calm, serene.