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Destiel’s eyes fluttered open. Stretching, she let out a loud yawn that sounded very much human. The young girl rubbed away the sleep from her eyes, and glanced around the empty flat they’d been renting for the past few days. It was morning now, and she’d fallen asleep late last night, but her aunt had been with her then. She wasn’t here now. Des searched the apartment with her grace, looking for signs of life. Other than a fly buzzing around on a cold coffee mug, there was no other life form besides herself. Destiel’s brow furrowed in puzzlement. Her Aunt Charlie rarely left without telling her.
“Aunt Charlie?” Des called out, her voice not echoing, but rather falling flat in the small, dull apartment. No answer came. “Aunt Charlie, are you here?” She asked again. When there was no response a second time, anxiety settled upon her. Breathing slowly to stall panic-mode, Des rose from the couch, and scoured every inch of the place, looking for a note, clues, sign of struggle or break in, or something.
When no sign of anything was found, Des spotted a rather odd combination of things: Charlie’s phone was lying next to her open laptop, adjacent to her untouched, cold coffee. Charlie hardly ever left her coffee alone unless she had to part from it to do something very important. Adding that to the fact that Charlie had left her phone all by its’ lonesome with only cold coffee to accompany it, made Des extremely nervous. She usually took her phone with her when she went out, so Des would be able to call her if anything were to happen. Except, now something was happening, and Charlie didn’t have her phone. Des thought about flying to pinpoint Charlie’s location, then remembered her father’s warning:
“Of course. Oh, and Des, do not fly. You won’t be able to do it with that missing primary. Everything will mess up and you will not find it to be very pleasant.”
Destiel sighed. She held up her right wing, after taking off her amulet that hid it. Fanning the wing out, she saw how incomplete it looked. Everything was in order, except for a very long, very empty space between two equally sized dark feathers, where there should’ve been an identical one. But there wasn’t. The two smaller, less noticeable plumages Crowley had taken from her were beginning to grow back; stems of rolled up feathers that were damp from growing, like butterflies from cocoons. These gave her hope, though when she looked back at the vacant space at the bottom of her wing, there was no budding stem of a new feather. Just a gap where one used to be. Des bit her lip. Damn her human side. Because of it she kept feeling ashamed of her imperfect wings. She recalled Hannah’s words when Destiel was first dying:
“But she’s, she’s an abomination. Seraphims are creatures that shouldn’t exist.”
Illegitimate. Freak. Abomination. Not supposed to be existing.
These names always circled in her head; doubt always one step behind the sass Des always put out. She followed Dean in that way, always adding in a joke or two and hiding behind the “I’m fine” mask. It was never true.
Her father and dad had never asked for her. They were just…stuck with her. She technically shouldn’t even exist. Not that she asked to be made. On the contrary, that was the problem: no one asked for her to be created, save a trio of crazy-ass witches who were not only mass-murderers, but long since then dead. Sure, Dean and Castiel loved their daughter, it was true, but…they didn’t want her, and this made Destiel the child that was never meant to be.
She eyed her aunt’s phone. After putting her bracelet back on, she picked up the phone off the table. Examining the little pink-cased thing, Des realized how desperately she wanted to call her dad, and ask him if he knew anything about Charlie. There were several things she wanted to ask Dean, but deep down, she knew she couldn’t. She had promised her father she wouldn’t. Des set the phone back down on the table, then sat down herself. Pulling up recent pages, Des searched through her history and sifted through her aunt’s personal notes.
~~~
Finally when Destiel had at last worked out what Charlie had been after, she went to her room, grabbing her bag that was already packed (why unpack when you know you’ll be moving out in a few days?).
As she grabbed the last shred of evidence that Destiel ever existed in this room at all, fear stopped her momentarily. What was she doing? Things were still and deafly quiet for a second that seemed to feel like hours. But something was growing in the silence, and Des didn’t realize this until it was too late.
Thump.
Was it an attack? Was she being attacked right now? Her eyes scanned her surroundings, her head snapping around to see everything.
Thump.
The noise was getting increasingly louder, faster, and more rhythmic.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Des looked down at herself. More accurately, her chest. The pulsating beat of her heart was throbbing in her eardrums.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
And, as if it was all a bad dream, things became clear to the seraphim why her heart was pounding unwillingly fast in her chest. She forced the thought from her mind: she would not succumb to the darkness inside her. Ever since Rowena had ripped out one of her irreplaceable primaries, something had snapped within the young Winchester. Something deep, and dangerous that was probably better left untouched. It was the gene that shouldn’t be there. And yet, there it was. All thanks to Rowena, it had just been given a kick-start.
A growl threatened to rise from her heart and bubble out her throat into a verbal snarl that wasn’t exactly angelic. Destiel summoned all of her good-natured will-power to command it away. She was not gonna let this…thing, whatever it was, get to her. As the growl slowly receded back to wherever it came from, it seemed to go as if it was saying: “This won’t be the last time, and I will be stronger when we meet again.”
Destiel shivered, feeling as if a storm had just passed. A very violent, unpredictable, volatile storm that couldn’t be harnessed. She clutched at the small, silver chain around her neck. It gave her comfort, and she smiled down at it. She’d gotten the locket as soon as she had begun hunting on her own after she had died. It was at a garage sale for about fifteen dollars, which was cheap considering it was in near-mint condition. Des clicked the side, and the locket sprung open. Inside, on the left half, was the picture of Dean, laughing in the Impala from the picture Sam had taken. Cas and Dean both had a copy of that very same picture. Des beamed and chuckled a little to herself. At first, that was all that was in the locket, but after Des and Cas had started living at the Bunker, and Dean and Cas had come to terms with their feelings for each other, the vacant right side was filled. The picture was one the girl had taken herself. It was of her father, kissing Dean. Des had secretly taken the picture when the pair had thought they were alone. She closed the locket. No time to brood over things you can’t change. Charlie needed her. That, she decided, she wouldchange.
The youngest Winchester finished packing up the rest of Charlie’s things and doing a last sweep over the place. She put both the bags in her truck, and headed off.
~~~
A hooded figure trudged down the wet road despondently. She’d missed the last rest stop for the next fifty miles about twenty miles back. Course, Claire Novak hadn’t realized that until after she was too far to turn back. No cars had been out, save a semi that had sped past her like she wasn’t even there. Her shoes were soaked through the sole, and her dark grey hoodie had done her just as much good as a sponge. It was cold, it was grey, it was wet, and it was miserable. Anything would have been better than to be outside in this crap.
Her ears heard it before she saw it. Turning around, Claire realized it wasn’t a trick of her mind. A set of headlights was coming close towards her. She waved her arms frantically, trying to get the driver of the pickup truck’s attention. The truck slowed, and the driver stopped next to her. The door opened, and Claire hopped inside without thinking twice.
“Thanks.” She muttered, then turned toward the driver. It was a girl, and she was young, with long black hair, but what struck Claire as odd was that on this dark, rainy day, the driver was wearing sunglasses and a hat, with her hair pulled back. The driver didn’t look at her, but was glancing around the truck nervously.
“No problem. Where you headed?”
“Doesn’t matter, just get me outta this muck and the nearest motel you can find.” Claire responded. The driver stared at her, and Claire noticed it was the first time the driver had really looked at her.
“…no…” The driver whispered, then grimaced.
“What?” Claire asked, coiling herself up, ready to defend. The driver bit her lip angrily, then took off her sunglasses and hat. Then Claire decided the rain would’ve been a better place to be. “Of all the fucking people in the world-!” Claire Novak yelled. Destiel Winchester rolled her eyes.
“Oh hell no, you can just get out now. I don’t want your homophobic filth in my car.”
“You hit on me, remember? And trust me, I don’t’ want to be anywhere near you, Freak.” Des flinched at the last word.
“Just get out!” She screamed.
“Gladly!” Claire shouted back, opening the door. As soon as the door slammed shut and Claire Novak was back in the torrential downpour, Destiel drove off, tires squealing on the wet pavement. She drove a few yards, glad to have Claire in her rearview mirror when she stopped the truck again. An idea had crossed her mind. When Claire caught up to where Des had stopped, she gave a dirty look to the seraphim and kept walking. Destiel rolled down the passenger window.
“Hey, wait.”
“Leave me alone.”
“Claire, wait! I can help you.” Destiel followed Claire in her truck slowly rolling beside her.
“Don’t even bother, Freak. How could you possibly help me? I don’t want your help!”
“Look, you think I want to help you? I wouldn’t do it if there wasn’t something in it for me.” Claire stopped and faced the truck, hands on her hips.
“Yeah? And what would that be? Stabbing myself? Because if it’s stabbing you, I’m on board.” She snapped. Destiel sighed, trying to keep a level head.
“No, I need you to make a phone call. You do that, I’ll drive you to the nearest motel, drop you off, and hopefully, we’ll never have to see each other again.” Des proposed. Claire took a moment to think about it. That last part sounded the best. True, she’d rather stay out here and catch pneumonia than be stuck with Destiel for the next thirty miles, but…
“A phone call, huh? To who and what for?” She asked. It might be worth it. Maybe. Des looked uncomfortable.
“To my dad; Dean. I can’t do it, and I need questions answered.” She replied. Claire thought this was a bit strange, but then she remembered who was she talking to.
“Why do you need me to do it? Why can’t you do it yourself?” Claire asked. Des sighed uneasily.
“I…I can’t. It’s a long story. And I need someone who knows what’s really out there to do it, and for now all I got is you. Much as I don’t like it, because, I don’t give a damn about you-”
“The feeling’s mutual.” Claire interrupted. Des ignored this.
“-and I’ll give you a lift and avoid you for the rest of my life. Which, the last part shouldn’t be too hard.” Claire thought about it, then reluctantly got back in the truck. She rolled up the window for Des, and pulled out her phone. It was soaked completely through, and wouldn’t turn on.
“You got a phone?” Claire asked. Des nodded, and pointed her thumb behind her.
“Yeah, in the back. It’s not mine, so don’t break it.” Claire grabbed the pink-cased phone, and stared at Des. Des, in turn, rolled her eyes. “I said it’s not mine! I hate the color pink!”
“Suuuure.” Claire responded. Des shook her head and took a deep, irritated breath.
“Whatever.” The phone didn’t turn on, but showed a zero-battery symbol when Claire pressed the power button.
“Didja even think that it might’ve been a good idea to charge it?!” Claire asked pointedly.
“Well I didn’t know it was dead!” Destiel protested. Both huffed at each other.
“I don’t know how in hell we’re both gonna get through the next thirty miles without killing each other.” Claire muttered.
“The truck will fall apart without my Grace to hold it together, and I need that phone call.” Des reasoned. Claire crossed her arms, and leaned against the window. Maybe she’d sleep through it.
“If you kill me in my sleep, I will come back and haunt your ass.” Claire threatened.
“Like I said, I need that phone call. And my father will kill me.” Des explained. Claire, still unsure, closed her eyes and felt two fingers on her head. Sleep found her before she could bark out a question.
~~~
Des pulled up at the BlueBird Motel and shook Claire awake. The young Novak blinked her eyes, and widened them to wake herself.
“We’re here.” Des said quietly. She’d had another heartbeat issue while Claire was asleep, and it was getting worse. Luckily, she’d been able to push it away again, but she needed to get as far away from Claire as she could possibly be.
~~~
“Hi! I can help you, just give me one sec!” A voice called from around the corner of the back room behind the counter when Claire rang the service bell.
“Can I get a double bed room please?” Des asked, throwing some money on the counter. The young cashier turned around the corner to help them.
“Sure, can I-” She stopped when she saw Destiel. She had slightly wavy blond hair that fell around her shoulders comfortably, and bright green eyes that showed kindness and a good heart. She was…strikingly human. Des’ heart fluttered in her chest, and she blushed nervously.
“I, um…” Des started, but found she couldn’t finish. She couldn’t get this stupid smile off her face, either. Claire looked from the seraphim to the cashier and back. She rolled her eyes.
“One room please.” She snapped, and the cashier stopped her staring/smiling contest with the Winchester to pay attention to Claire’s impatient stare. She looked from Des to Claire then back to Des.
“Oh. Yeah, sure.” She said quietly, staring down at her hands, taking the money and giving the two customers a room key. “You’re in room 107. If you guys need anything, don’t’ be afraid to ask.” She said.
“Thanks.” Claire muttered, heading out the door. Des held back a little bit, staring at the blushing girl who was slightly around her age, if she had to guess.
“See ya around, miss…?” Des asked.
“Lacey.” The blond replied with a heart-warming smile that was anything but fake.
“Lacey.” Destiel repeated, savoring the way it felt to say the name on her lips. “It’s a pretty elegant name.” Lacey blushed.
“I don’t think your girlfriend thinks so.” Lacey said bashfully, nodding towards the door where Claire had left through. Des laughed.
“We’re far from girlfriends.”
"Ah. So are you sisters, then?" Lacey shuffled some papers, pretending to look busy.
"More like we have an agreement. So is it just you out here, all alone on this abandoned interstate?" Des asked, sitting on the desk and clasping her sweaty palms together. Wasn't as if she hadn't done this a million times before. Though, it was different this time. Lacey laughed.
"What are you, a serial killer? You gonna take me into the back and stab me, or something?" Des huffed a laugh. "Yeah, it's just me here. My dad used to own this motel, but he’s gone now, and my mom died when i was little, and since I’m 18, I just took over the place."
"Family business?" Destiel asked with a knowing smile. Lacey gave her a look that meant she understood.
"Yeah. You too?"
"Yeah."
"So..."
"So... don't you get lonely out here all by yourself?"
"Sometimes. You get to meet some interesting people, though."
"Oh I bet. So do you mind showing me the way to room 107? I mean, you know this motel much better than me, and I've never been here before." Destiel asked slyly. This made Lacey laugh.
"Sure thing. I would've remembered you, Angel-Eyes." Lacey flirted with a wink as she went out the door, towards the room, looking back at Des with a smirk. Destiel was taken aback.
"Hey, that's my line!" She ran after Lacey, grinning like an idiot.
“First come, first to use it!” Lacey called back. Destiel laughed, and caught up to the young blond cashier.
The rain pounded on the roof above their heads, just barely covering the walkway to the room. The sky-fallen rain poured down it, then doing a kamikaze jump onto the parking spaces below. The air was wet, but it was good, it felt more new than anything. Destiel and Lacey walked close to each other, but not because the slightly rain-chilled air.
“Hey, I never caught your name.” Lacey gently elbowed Des. It was the first time the Winchester hadn’t used an alias.
“My name is Destiel Winchester.”
“That’s unique.”
“Otherwise known as ugly.” Des laughed a little bitterly. Lacey shook her head.
“No, I like it. It...stands out, but in a humble way. It makes you sound like you’re gonna do something awesome later on in life. Something important.” Des stopped walking for a moment to look at Lacey.
"How did a gem like you end up way out here in the middle of nowhere?" Des asked. Lacey shrugged.
"Like I said, it was my dad. This place is all I've ever known." She looked up at Des with her emerald eyes. Des smiled and leaned down hesitantly. They both leaned in, both ready to play it off with a laugh at any moment if they were reading the situation wrong. Des pulled back.
"I'm sorry, I hardly know you and you're probably strai-" Lacey reached up and pulled Des down into a kiss. Des put her one hand on the small of Lacey's back and the other hand she threaded her fingers through Lacey's soft blond hair. Lacey put both her hands on Destiel's cheeks. The kiss ended, but Des used her grasp on Lacey's hair to kiss her again. "Okay, so maybe you're not straight." Des corrected herself. Lacey chuckled and put her head on Destiel's chest. She was warm, and the seraphim enjoyed the feeling of another so close to her. They stayed this way for a minute.
"I have to make a phone call." Des said quietly.
"Okay." Lacey allowed.
"But I was wondering if you had another room with a single bed." Des smirked. Lacey smiled.
"Free of charge. Its buy one get one free day." Lacey and Des laughed.
"See you then?" Des breathed on Lacey's neck, leaving a kiss there. Lacey shivered from the cold in her thin white blouse. Des shrugged off her leather jacket and put it around her human's shoulders.
"You bet your sweet ass." Des leaned down for another kiss, then parted, entering room 107. She looked back at the blond, who was smiling at her.
Des blushed and walked into the room, closing the door behind her. She sighed, leaning her back on the door and ran a hand through her long black hair. Claire looked up at her from where she was stretched out on one of the motel beds.
"The hell took you so long? And what are you smiling about?" Claire snapped. "You know what, I don't want to know. Look, the phone line's dead. We're gonna have to wait until the storm's gone." She complained. Des didn't even listen.
"Yeah, uh-huh. Sure. Whatever you say." She muttered. Claire gave her a scornful look.
"The hell is up with you?" She asked reproachfully. Des shrugged.
"Nuthin." Claire rolled her eyes.
"Whatever." Claire rolled her eyes and Des closed hers, leaning her head back against the wall.
“Her skin smelled like lilacs…”
“Alright, I don’t wanna hear about your sappy homosexual romance, Freak.” Claire cut her off. If Des hadn’t been so love-drunk-happy, she would’ve jumped across the room and hit Claire. But her mind was only thinking about when she would see the young blond cashier again. Her thoughts were interrupted minutes after she’d closed her eyes again. “Well, I’m tired as hell-” Claire started.
“I don’t know how, ‘cause you slept like a rock on the way here.” Destiel could feel the glare through her closed eyelids.
“-and I’m gonna call it a night. And about that, that was your doing, if I remember because you sleep-zapped me.”
“I was helping you.”
“Well I dont need your help. I don’t want it, either. And I know you don’t like me. So why’d you do it?” Claire asked. Des opened her eyes and looked at the Novak.
“I know what it’s like not to sleep.” She replied seriously. Claire seemed to understand this, and turned over under the covers on the furthest bed. Des turned off the light. Rain tapped on the roof soothingly, the storm hadn’t let up, but it had become more rhythmic. Claire had fallen asleep more easily this time, with no help from Des.
The seraphim stepped outside again, craving the fresh, wet air over the stuffiness of the room. She leaned against the outside of the door, and stared at the flooded parking lot. All the water flowed, like a river to the sea, down the gutter and into the drain that was close to over-flowing. She wondered what her father and her dad were doing. She hoped her aunt was okay. She looked at the horizon.
Father? Look, I don’t know if you can hear me, or if you’re even allowed to, but...I don’t know where Aunt Charlie is. I know you said not to call Dad or Uncle Sam, but...I need to know. I’m at a motel in Iowa with Claire Novak. Don’t worry, we’re not trying to kill each other, she’s helping me with something and I’m giving her a lift. I...I don’t know what to do, Father. I need help. Please.
~~~
Castiel looked up from his beer. He stared straight at Dean as he heard his daughter’s prayer. Dean didn’t seem to notice, he was too busy laughing at a story Charlie was telling him about the one time a vamp she was hunting had tried to watch Twilight. Cas got up from the table and made his way into the hall. That was when Dean noticed Cas.
“Cas you alright?” He asked. Charlie, Dean, and Sam all looked at him. Cas nodded.
“Yes. I am perfectly fine, Dean. I just have to use the restroom.” He lied. Dean chuckled.
“Oh. Ha, that’s fine Cas. Never mind then.” Dean retracted his statement and seemed to drop the issue as Charlie resumed her story and Cas left the room.
Castiel stepped into the hall and into a vacant bedroom and closed it behind him. Then he pulled out his phone. Then he realized he didn't know what number to dial. Instead, he resolved to calling back with his Grace.
Des?
Destiel's head perked up. She had heard a voice not unlike her father's in her head.
Father?
Des. I am so sorry. Don't worry about Charlie, she's with us at the Bunker.
How are able to get inside my head?
I have my Grace back.
Really?!
Yes.
Father, that's awesome. I'm so glad. So...does that mean I can come home now?
You know the answer to that, Destiel.
There was an awkward silence between father and daughter then.
How is Dad? The young girl asked.
Your dad is fine, Destiel.
Are you okay? How is Aunt Charlie?
We're all fine, Des.
Okay. I miss you.
I miss you as well. We all do.
Claire's a pain in the ass.
Don't kill each other.
I will try not to.
Well...where are you?
I'm with Claire in some shitty motel in Iowa.
Alright. Stay safe. And Destiel?
Yes?
I love you.
I love you, Father.
And the voice in her head ceased. She sighed. That had to have been the first time he had ever answered her prayers.
~~~
Cas took a breath of relief. His daughter was safe.
The door opened behind him and then closed, the brief light emitting from the hall leaving the darkness of the room as quickly as it came.
"Cas?" Dean's voice called in the dark.
"Dean?"
"Cas-OW!" Dean stumbled over something and stubbed his toe. "Dammit, ow. Cas, what the hell are you doing alone in a dark room?"
"I needed a moment by myself." Cas lied. Dean neared him.
"Cas, I know what's going on..." Dean said slowly as he backed Cas against the wall.
"Oh?" Cas squeaked,because he was pretending to know what Dean was talking about, and because Dean's close proximity.
"You want me to sleep with you..." Dean murmured on Cas' neck. His smelled strongly of alcohol and it had obviously hit him hard. "It's okay, baby. I want to fuck you too." Dean slurred. His hands went to Cas' belt undoing it and kissing the angel's neck.
"D-Dea-AH!" Dean bit down on Cas. Cas tried and failed to push him away. "Dean, you're drunk. You should sleep-"
"Sleeeeeeep with meeeee!" Dean moaned pathetically.
“Dean, no.” Dean had moved to unbuttoning Cas' dress shirt.
~~~
Des felt a hand on her arm and jumped. Lacey smiled warmly up at her.
"Hey you." She said softly. Des leaned down and nipped Lacey's lips.
“Hey.” Des whispered back. Lacey pulled her into the next room; 106.
“I...I haven’t felt like this before.” Lacey confessed.
“Me neither. And that’s okay. I like this feeling.” Des responded truthfully. She put her hands on Lacey’s face. “I...I need you.” She said, the meaning running deep. Lacey smiled.
“What does that mean?” She whispered.
“That means...it means I...I love you.” Des nearly cried tears of nostalgia and relief.
“Is that what your dad told your mom?” Lacey asked. Des shook her head.
“Not exactly. It’s what my dad told my father.”
“That’s sweet. I need you too.” Des leaned down to kiss Lacey.
“I need you.” She breathed in her human’s skin. “I need you.” She felt the pulse on her human’s wrists. “I need you.” She felt her wings and heart beating together as one as she ran her fingers through her human’s soft blond hair. “I need you.”
“You’re so beautiful, but you seem so distantly sad. I don’t want to see you sad. Someone so beautiful shouldn’t be sad.”
“I need you.”
“You have a light inside you. I won’t let it go out as long as I live.”
“I need you.”
“I need you, too.”
~~~
Cas picked his human up and put him on the bed. Then Dean looked at him and whimpered pitifully.
“You don’t love me.”
“That’s not true, Dean you know that.” Cas tried to press two finger’s to Dean’s temple, but he slapped away the angel’s hand.
“No, you leave me alone, you...you...you friggin’ angel!” Dean threatened. Cas stared at him like a parent staring at a disobedient, stubborn child.
“Dean-”
“No, don’t you “Dean” me, Cas-t-iel.” Dean separated the syllables in Cas’ name, dragging out the word. Cas sat down next to him.
“Why would you think I don’t love you?”
“Because you never stay. Not for long.”
“As I recall, it was you who pushed me away, Dean.”
“Yeah, because when we give those orders to each other we always listen.” Dean shot, words biting at Castiel with sharp teeth made of angered sarcasm. “Just like it’s true when I tell Sam that I don’t cry when you’re not here.” This sent a pang into Castiel’s heart. He put an arm around his drunk hunter.
“What else happens when I’m not here, Dean?” Dean looked up at him with glossy eyes.
“Okay, just don’t tell Sam and Cas.” Dean bartered. Cas nodded.
“I promise I won’t tell them.”
~~~
Lacey put her arms around Destiel and they kissed.
“It’s okay. I’m okay with this.”
“So am I. Technically I’m seventeen. And you said you were eighteen…” Des said. It was true, she was beginning to show signs of becoming an older teen now.
“Alright.” Lacey agreed. Des looked into Lacey’s green eyes that were very different from Dean’s. Des was grateful for this small fact. She leaned down and kissed the young girl again.
“Lacey?” She called on Lacey’s lips.
“Yes?”
“I ne- Oh, fuck it, I love you, Lacey.” Des said, pulling Lacey close and cupping her one hand on Lacey’s ass, and the other caressed her face.
“I love you too, Destiel.” Lacey grabbed at Des’ clothes, pushing off her leather jacket and flannel. Des gently set herself on the bed, the two still very much entwined.
“Then show me.”
~~~
“Okay. When you’re not here, I cry about you. I don’t feel that good because I miss you and I love you, and I’ve always loved you. I never had the balls to admit it, either.” Dean continued.
“You were scared of being discriminated. That is understandable.”
“S’not okay. And don’t say it is, because it isn’t.”
“But Dean, it is. Fear is one of the strongest motives out there-”
“Stronger than love?” It was a question that seemed to literally hang in the air for Castiel. He wasn’t sure how to answer. How could he?
“Dean, I never said anything, because I knew you would never make the first move on your own.”
“But I did.”
“Well...that’s not exactly true, Destiel made you have a dream that would compel you to confess your feelings unto me, it was a spell. But she did it for all the right reasons. Sam told me.” Cas unveiled. Dean looked away and fell to his side on the bed.
“I’m lonely without you. I miss you. I want you. I never see you, and you never stick around for long. I miss you. I miss a lot of things, but you I miss the most. You I want the most.” He said mostly to Cas, but he stared off into space as if he was talking to the air itself. Cas lay beside him.
“I love you.”
“No you don’t. You’re lying. God, Cas, why you gotta be such a liar all the time? You and Sam. Always lyin’ tomeeeeee.” Dean had rolled over onto his stomach to avoid Cas.
“Dean, you’re very much drunk, I don’t think you mean a lot of these things you’re saying.” This made Dean laugh.
“Ha, ha. That’s funny because it’s not true because the more drunk I am the more truth I say. So funny. You’re funny, Cas. Always gotta be so fun-nny.” Dean hiccuped, then rolled over so that his face was being smothered by the bed comforter. “Purple nurples!” He exclaimed into the thick blanket. Cas would’ve laughed if he wasn’t so worried about what Dean had said.
“I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you. I wish none of this had ever come about. I wish you’d never met me, I’m so sorry, Dean. I’ m so sorry that I love you.” Cas said. Dean rolled over again, but this time it was to stare at his angel.
“Whaaadja say, Cas?” Cas bit his lip sadly and kissed Dean one last time.
“I love you.”
“Okay. I love you too, Cas.” Dean smiled, happy to kiss his angel. Cas reached out to put a hand to Dean’s head, to take away all the memory. All the pain and love he would erase from Dean Winchester’s mind, so that he could go on. He didn’t need to love the angel. With a happy little smile, Dean gazed from Cas’ hand to his face, the back. “Are you grabbing the invisible air, or…?” This made Cas laugh. The comment was so Dean, drunk or not, that he set down his hand and kissed Dean.
“I love you, Dean.” He repeated, softly touching Dean’s cheek, to feel the smooth skin and coarse stubble. “I’ve always loved you. From the moment I raised you, and I cradled your soul in my hands, I knew I would love you. Not like this, but it was a love synonymous with the love I thought I had for my Father. Over time, the further I fell from Heaven, the more I fell for you until, eventually, I realized just how much I truly loved you. Your words hurt me so much, and I hate that I’ve caused you so much pain. I want to take it all away, and love you as I should. I’m an angel now, and I will do everything I can and more to try and be the man you want. The one you need.”
“You’re the one I love.” Dean said, nearly in a sober manner.
“I hate leaving.” Cas said, wrapping his arms around Dean. Dean snuggled up to him.
“Then don’t. Do you really have to? What if we just stayed in the Bunker together forever?” Dean pitched.Cas thought about those last two words. They stuck out and replayed themselves inside the angel’s head, sticking like glue and looping like a catchy song.
Together forever.
“Dean?”
“Huh?”
“Come with me.”
“Where?”
“With me.” Cas took Dean’s hand and tugged him out of the room.
All the lights were off, and everyone else had gone to bed. Cas led Dean to the garage, to the Impala.
“Cas, what are we doing here? I love you more than my car.” Cas put a hand on Dean’s head, clearing his drunken haze. He would remember everything tonight. He needed to. Dean looked at Cas more clearly now, his gaze more focused. “Cas?”
“Hey, Dean. Ready?”
“Ready for wh-” The two men and the car were then zapped off to the countryside where Cas spread out a blanket he had taken from his room. The grass was surprisingly warm, and soft. Dean sat down next to his angel on the blanket. The doors of the car were open and the radio was playing a soft, slow song. Cas put his head on Dean's chest and they both stared up at the stars.
Neither said anything for a long time, theirs eyes only watched the midnight sky, hands being held together and bodies close. Soon, Dean began pointing out constellations and telling Cas wild, made-up stories behind them until they fell asleep in each others' arms.
~~~
Destiel turned over, Lacey’s arm wrapped around her middle. She kissed her human awake gently.
“Hey you.” Des whispered. Lacey mumbled something unintelligible and blinked her eyes. She stared at Des, as if seeing her for the first time.
“Hey angel.” Lacey smirked. Des’ smile faded slightly.
“W-What?” She asked shakily.
“You. You’re an angel. Must be. I saw your wings.” Lacey stated seriously, despite her smile.
“You’re joking, right?”
“Nope.”
“Shit.” Des swore. Lacey giggled deeply and kissed Des’ cheek.
“It’s okay. It’s pretty cool. I get the bragging rights of dating an angel.” Lacey laughed. Des sighed.
“Well, when did you see them?”
“I can see them now.” Lacey answered. Des looked behind her, and sure enough, there were her imperfect wings. Destiel let out a loud moan of frustration, checking for her absent bracelet. Then she looked around the room. Her jacket and other clothes were still on the floor, but she felt something was off.
“Claire was here.” Des said.
“Yeah, she came in and took some stuff. Why?”
“She took something kinda important.”
“What was it?”
“My concealing bracelet. It’s supposed to hide my wings.”
“Why ever would you want to hide them?” Lacey inquired. Des made a broken smile.
“Not all humans are ready for the truth. that and some people aren’t exactly happy with me.”
“Oh. Can’t imagine why.” Lacey chuckled, and it even made Des smile.
“Well, I’m not exactly an angel. I’m half angel. Half human.”
“Ah. Can I see them?”
“Huh? Oh.” Des sat up and away from Lacey and fanned out her wings. Lacey put a tender hand to them, fingers trailing over the long dark feathers gingerly. They traveled down and came to rest upon the missing primary.
“What happened?”
“The King of Hell’s mother ripped it out. Lucifer got thrown out in 2010 because of my dad and my uncle, but that’s a long story. A demon named Crowley took over and his mother pulled it out when she was torturing me."
"Wow, um. So are you, what, a demigod? Are you immortal? Are you like, sort of a real-life Percy Jackson?" Lacey asked, and Des laughed.
"One, Percy isn't immortal. Two, neither am I. But I think it's adorable that you think that about me." Des commented.
"You're a half-angel and you know about Percy Jackson?!"
"Yeah, my aunt made me into a big fangirl. Star Wars, Marvel, Lord of Rings, you name it."
"Mm, best of all worlds. Nerdy, supernatural, and hot." Lacey said, and Des chuckled. Lacey's hand stayed on the missing feather. Des knew it was noticeable and her flaws stuck out like sore thumbs.
"Say it, it won't be worse than what I've said about them to myself." Des said sadly.
"Say what?"
"How...imperfect they are. They're so ugly and uncut and I'm so ashamed of them."
"Wha-Imperfect? Des, they're far from imperfect. I would do anything to have wings like yours."
"Be careful what you wish for."
"Don't be ashamed of who you are. Our strengths and weaknesses make us who we are. Whether it's our fault or not." Lacey leaned over and kissed Des tenderly. "Don't be ashamed and don't be afraid." Des looked into Lacey's green eyes.
"I've needed you this whole time and I never even knew."
~~~
Dean woke up gently. The sun shone on his back and he had fallen asleep on Cas, chest to chest. He held back a groan (to not wake up Cas) because he'd fallen asleep in jeans, and he hadn never felt great after that. But he was content as shit, because he got to spend all night with Cas and wake up next to him. Cas was still asleep, the cute bastard was smiling in his sleep. Dean brushed back stray strands of raven hair from Cas' face.
“I love you.” He whispered. It was true, most of the things he’d said last night (which he remembered, with Cas’ help), including the mess about missing Cas, but he still loved the angel despite everything. Castiel opened his eyes at the sound, and flashed his pearly whites at Dean.
“I love you, Dean.”
~~~
Destiel and Lacey had gotten out of bed and put clothes on. Des had found her bracelet, which Claire hadn’t taken. At Des’ request, Lacey had gone to the room where Claire had stayed to grab a remaining bag while Des took a shower. But before she could even grab clothes for after her shower, Des heard a scream. She ran towards 107, with the door still ajar. There was Claire, with black eyes, and Lacey. And a knife.
“Claire, no.” Des demanded. “Let her go!” Des looked to Lacey, who was trying not to scream. "Lacey, it's going to be okay." Des looked up. "Let her go." Des demanded again. But Claire wasn’t listening, and neither was the demon possessing her.
“Destiel Winchester. Wings and all.” The demon said with Claire’s voice, followed by the slitting of Lacey’s throat. What was a cross between a squeak, a cry, and a scream came from Destiel, as she watched Lacey’s blood flow down, permanently staining her flawless white blouse. Des made a move towards the demon, but the demon just escaped from Claire’s mouth. Then Claire, who knew what had just unfolded, ran. Des cradled Lacey’s body as she bled out and the light left her eyes.
“I love you.” Des whispered, kissing Lacey’s flawless blond hair.
And that was the end of Lacey. The world was eerily still, until a faint, but progressively louder drumming came about.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
She shook her head. No, it wasn’t possible, though Des knew that it was entirely possible, and just as much highly probable. She closed her blue-green eyes.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
It was just too much to bear. It was too hard. She couldn’t hold back the thing inside any longer. She let go of the fight, and it consumed her.
Thump.
Thump.
Thu-
The heartbeat silenced and Destiel Winchester opened her black eyes.
To be continued…