Work Text:
It was a fairly usual morning at B.H.Org.; Though Dr. Flug, Demencia, and 5.0.5 happened to be walking into the kitchen at the same time that morning and they immediately noticed that something was off. Blackhat wasn't in the kitchen yet. Being the work-oholic that he was, he was usually the first one up along with Flug (who was also a work-oholic, but that's beside the point).
The next thing they noticed though, was even more unusual.
There was a plate of chocolate chip cookies in the middle of the breakfast table.
The trio looked at each other, wondering who in hell made the cookies. Demencia figured that 5.0.5 did it in the middle of the night because he couldn't sleep or something. After all, he liked that kind of stuff. 5.0.5 thought Demencia did it because she loved sugary sweets. As for Flug...he was baffled. He knew that 5.0.5 couldn't have done it because he was a bear and couldn't cook with his big paws. He knew that Demencia didn't do it because he had seen her attempt to make non-microwaveable food, and it was pure chaos. And he sure as hell knew that he didn't do it. So that left one person -or hellspawn- in the manor that could be the culprit, but there was no way that he would bake a batch of cookies.
On second thought maybe Demencia did bake them. He walked over to the plate and picked up a cookie; then he slipped it under his bag and took a bite. Surprisingly, it didn't taste like vomit. It tasted...good...like, really good. There was no way on earth that Demencia baked these, without fucking them up so badly that they were inedible. He turned to back to the others.
"Um...Demencia, did you make these...?"
"Nope! Why? Are they poisoned?"
"No, but they taste amazing."
"Really? I want one!" She ran over to the plate and grabbed a cookie. And then nearly put the entire thing in her mouth before chomping down.
"Mmmm...You're right! They're good!" She looked at 5.0.5.
"Hey Fives, did ya make these?" 5.0.5 shook his head.
"Well, if you didn't make them, who did?" They all looked at each other again. Demencia then suddenly got a devious smile on her face.
"Maybe...It was the Cookie Gremlin!"
"The what?"
"The Cookie Gremlin! She's a green, doll sized gremlin with purple hair that leaves cookies in the middle of the night for the evilest of villains!"
"Out of all your odd fairy tale stories, Dem, that has gotta be the weirdest."
"It's not a story! It's true!" Before he could say another word, Blackhat walked into the kitchen. He didn't even seem to acknowledge the plate of cookies on the table as he made his morning tea.
"Good morning, sir."
"Good morning, doctor."
"Um...someone made cookies last night. Do you want any?"
"No, I hate sugar."
"Alright..." Flug mumbled as 5.0.5 reached for a cookie.
///
About three weeks had passed since the 'cookie incident', and for the most part, it had been forgotten about. New and more important things needed attention, like the swarm of clients coming through Blackhat's office. The others weren't sure how he did it on busy days. Though he always got the job done.
So things went on as usual.
Flug woke up at 2 AM that night. It was the one thing that was actually normal, at least for that household. Flug had some sleeping troubles and usually woke in the middle of the night every few days. He decided to go get a glass of water before going back to bed. So he slipped his bag and gloves, and headed for the kitchen.
But another thing was off. When he got to the kitchen, there was a light on, and he could hear someone. Flug peaked inside to the kitchen to see Blackhat mixing a bowl of something. Was he...baking?
"Uh, sir?..." Blackhat stopped mixing and his head snapped to the side at a break-neck speed and almost dropped the bowl. He stared at Flug, who was anxiously standing in the doorway. He'd been caught redhanded; there was no way that Blackhat was going to get himself out of this one with a lie. He avoided eye contact.
"I...bake when I'm stressed." There was a moment of awkward silence between the two.
"And if you tell anyone about this, I'll rip your head off."
"Y-Yes, sir."
Flug left and decided to go to bed without the water. Besides, he had something better, the knowledge that the infamous, super-villain, extraordinaire Blackhat liked to bake. He smiled to himself as he walked back into his room. Flug found the idea of Blackhat, in an apron, baking a batch of cookies or cupcakes or something. at 2 AM oddly adorable.
That was another thing. After 25 years of working for Blackhat Flug had developed a small crush on his boss. And this new little detail about him only endeared Blackhat more to him. But he was something that Flug could never have; he ignored his feelings, for the most part.
Though he enjoyed that knowing feeling when he, Demencia, and 5.0.5 walked in the kitchen the next morning to find a plate of brownies on the breakfast table.
///
It was all so sudden.
Another month passed without incident. No baked goods mysteriously appeared on the breakfast table, Flug gained a few more feelings for Blackhat, work was done, blood was shed, and in general life moved on. Until a batch of cupcakes appeared on the kitchen table one morning.
But it wasn't the last baked good that appeared on the table. Every morning more and more things would be sitting on the table. There were suddenly whole gift baskets worth of cookies and cakes and every other thing you could bake in an oven being left on the table. Hell, there was even a batch of rice crispy treats!
Demencia and 5.0.5 didn't seem to mind. Demencia actually started making more stories about theses gremlins, trolls, fairies, and other mythical creatures that delivered baked goods to villains, heroes, and the people in between. The stories were actually pretty good, and she wrote these ones down. 5.0.5 also loved hearing her stories.
While it was nice to see them getting along, Flug couldn't help getting worried for Blackhat. This was a lot of treats. Something had to be wrong. He knew it. And it had to be bad, very bad. Flug needed to talk to him about it, but how could he do it without the others interfering? Then he had an idea.
///
Flug set his alarm clock for 2:30 AM that night. He hoped this would work...
///
BEEP BEEP BEEP
Flug quickly switched off his alarm clock. He shook his head to wake himself up, put his bag, goggles, and gloves on before getting up and heading to the kitchen. Everything was silent until he reached the kitchen. The light was on just as he expected.
"Well, here goes nothing..." Flug whispered to himself as he took a deep breath before walking into the room. There was already a plate of cookies on the table, Blackhat was mixing something in the bowl, and he could smell yet another thing baking in the oven.
"Um, sir?" Blackhat quickly glanced over to Flug and acknowledged his presence without even stopping his stirring; which seemed to pick up speed.
"Please, ignore me; go back to whatever you were doing." Flug's voice caught in his throat for a moment. He didn't know exactly how to start the conversation or what to say. So he just stood in the doorway for a few minutes, just staring at him while he tryed to find the right words.
"Why are you staring at me?" Flug turned his attention back to Blackhat.
"You already know that I bake when I'm stressed. So what's the problem?" He sounded on edge. But Flug swallowed his worries and and continued.
"A-Actually, sir, that is the problem." He stopped stirring for just a split second and looked at Flug in confusion. He stared stirring again, but kept looking at Flug.
"Go on."
"Well-I know you bake when you're stressed, so there's cookies or something on the table in the morning every once in a while. And there's nothing wrong with that, but lately whole gift baskets worth of baked goods have been appearing, and I would just like to ask you, are you ok?" He stopped stirring completely and set the bowl on the counter.
"Does it look like I'm ok?" Blackhat asked with a slightly frustrated tone to his voice as he gestured to the various baked goods around them
"Oh...Yeah..." He stepped further into the kitchen. Blackhat went back to stirring and Flug turned his attention to the plate of cookies on the breakfast table.
"May I...?" He asked pointing to the cookies.
"Help yourself." Flug picked up one of the cookies. They were loft house cookies; a favorite of his. He slipped it under his bag and took a bite. They were soft and sweet, but not too sweet. Just the way a loft house cookie should be.
"Mmmm...I have to say, boss, your baking is delicious!" Blackhat smiled, proudly.
"I try my best." Flug finished his cookie and pulled a chair out for himself. He watched Blackhat continue to cook. He was dressed a little differently than normal. He ditched his coat, vest, tie, gloves, and even his shoes and socks! It did make a little sense, though. The coat, vest, gloves, and tie all could catch fire pretty easily while baking or get stained. And he probably removed his shoes and socks so he'd be quieter and wouldn't wake anyone up. He'd worked for Blackhat for long enough to have seen his bare hands before, they looked like a human's but were gray with fingernails that were the same color as his teeth. Though he'd never seen his bare feet. They were wee a little more slender than the average human's foot, and only had 4 dog-like toes with nails that also matched the color of his teeth.
Odd.
The way he wore his dress shirt was also different. The first button was undone and the sleeves were rolled up. His dress slacks were left as usual along with his top hat. And he was wearing a black apron that Flug didn't even know they had, to top it all off. It looked...kinda hot in Flug's opinion.
Another thing about it was how focused and calm he looked as he baked. It was the way Flug looked when was building a model plane or sketching one. It was a look that no one -except Flug at the moment- had ever seen on Blackhat.
"So...Why baking?"
"Excuse me?"
"I said 'why baking'? Out of all the things you could do to relieve stress, why baking?"
"Well...It's oddly calming. I couldn't tell you why. Mainly because I don't know why. And don't tell anyone else, but I love cookies."
"I thought you said that you hated sugar."
"I lied."
"Huh, well that makes sense. What's your favorite kind of cookie?"
"Loft house cookies."
"Really?! But that's my favorite!"
"Well then it looks like we have something in common." There was a minute of silence.
"So...Why planes?"
"What?
"Why do you like planes so much? You were asking why I like baking, so why do you like planes?"
"Hmmm, where do I start...? Well when I was a kid I was fascinated with the concept of flight. I wanted to fly a plane since I read about it in this book I was reading. And then there's the feeling of flight. It's kinda like you're floating on nothing. It's a feeling of freedom. Like you can do anything."
"It sounds amazing. I'll have to fly with you sometime."
"Oh, sir-"
"Please, call me Blackhat."
"Ok. Blackhat, I'd love to fly again, but I don't know where I'd even find a plane to fly."
"Oh I don't know, maybe something will pop up."
Suddenly, there was a ding.
"Stop the conversation for a second, my muffins are done." He put an oven mitt and pulled what looked, and smelled, to be blueberry muffins out and put them on the counter.
"You made blueberry muffins? It looks like we're gonna be treated to a good breakfast tomorrow."
"Thank you, doctor. And that brings me to another question..."
"What is it?"
"You never eat breakfast in the morning like the others. Why is that?" Flug grew silent.
"Well, um, I-I..."
"Go on. It's not anyone else is here to hear it."
"Uh, well I'm not exactly human."
"Oh? Then what are you?"
"That's the problem. I don't really know..."
"I see. Well, what do you look like?"
"Um..." Flug shyly looked down.
"I'm not going to judge you. I'm a 3,000 year old being with one eye and green shark teeth. It'd be like the pot calling the kettle black. And I may have killed more people than I can count, but for God's sake I'm not a damn
hypocrite." He sounded disgusted at the last word.
"Well...when you put it like that...Alright. I'll...I'll take my bag off. J-Just please don't tell anyone about face." Flug slowly removed the bag, and Blackhat watched intently.
Flug's face had two different skin colors, a dark tan, and an almost bleach white. His messy hair was a black brown with a white forelock. And his left eye was brown, while his right eye was blue. But the most interesting part of his face was revealed when he bared his teeth in an awkward attempt at a smile; they resembled a dog's teeth.
"My whole body has the patchy hair, eyes, and skin-that I've had since I was human. The teeth I got later along with some other things-like I don't age anymore, but that's a story for another day. The reason I don't eat breakfast is because I only eat once a week. I...I eat human flesh. I store it in the freezer in the lab." Blackhat traced a finger one of the lines where the two skin tones met.
"Hmm...well I don't know what you are, except for beautiful, that's for sure." Flug was shocked.
"You...You really think I'm beautiful?..." He could feel himself blushing and tearing up. As cliche as it was, no one had ever told him that.
"I said it didn't I?"
"Thank you! Thank you, Blackhat!" Flug wanted to kiss him right then and there. But he didn't think that would end too well.
"You're welcome. And if we're all revealing secrets here. I don't know what I am either."
"You don't?"
"Unfortunately, no, I don't." There was a pause.
"You know, it kinda feels nice..." Flug started up again.
"What feels nice?"
"This. Y'know, having someone else who gets it; who gets you. That understands where you're coming from. Someone that you have that you can talk to. You're 3,000 years old, so I'm guessing you've had a lot of those."
"No, I actually haven't. Only you, since tonight. Just because I've lived a long time doesn't mean I've found any people that I like or relate to."
"You mean...You've never had a friend?"
"Do you count?"
"Sure, but to be honest, I didn't even think you considered me a friend. No one ever really has."
"Well, I do. Ever since last year."
"Is that why you only yell when I do something extremely stupid now?"
"I guess so, yes." Blackhat looked down for a second and shifted. He then turned around and started getting some things out from the cabinets. A pan, a spoon, a bowl, 2 knives, flour, confectioners sugar, milk, and butter. It was only then that Flug realized he was done stirring and was moving on with the next step with whatever he was baking.
"So, what's that you're baking?"
"Chocolate cake." Blackhat buttered the pan as they talked.
"Chocolate cake? That's a first. The last one you made was strawberry."
"I'm trying something different."
"Alright. Do you make all this from scratch or do you use readymade stuff?"
"I would never use readymade. All my baking is from scratch." He coated the pan in flour next.
"Impressive. I can't make anything other that readymade." Blackhat poured the batter into the pan and slipped it into the oven and reset the timer. Then took the bowl and poured a large amount of confectioners sugar into the bowl and added the butter next.
"Are you making the frosting now?"
"Yes, for someone who only makes readymade baked goods, you know your treats very well." He poured the milk into the bowl, and began to stir again.
"You've been stirring a lot since I got here."
"Yes, what's your point?"
"I don't really have a point. It's just that my arms would be exhausted if I stirred for that long. Hell, it's tiring just to watch you. And I hope I don't offend you, but do you get tired some time?"
"No offense taken. And as for your question, no. I don't get physically tired."
"Do you ever get tired in any other way?"
"There's more than one way to get tired?"
"Yeah, there's two other ways: mentally and emotionally. Tired in general is usually being overwhelmed and not being able to continue what you're doing properly or at all. So do you ever feel like you're mentally or emotionally stressed to the point where you can't work normally?"
"Well, now that you've explained it, yes I do feel like that sometimes. Why do you think that I bake?"
"Yeah...I guess that was a stupid question."
"It's one of the only stupid things you've said."
"Huh, really?"
"Yes, but that's expected. You are the smartest person in this household, after all."
"Aww, shucks Blackhat, you're gonna kill me with these compliments." Flug blushed. He hoped Blackhat didn't notice since he hadn't put his bag back on.
"Well, enjoy it. I don't compliment people like this in public."
"Still, I'm flattered."
Another ding went off.
"One moment, please." He removed the cake from the oven. And set it on the counter to cool. He went back to stirring the frosting.
"Done! See, now this is what real frosting looks like!" He tilted the bowl towards Flug. He peaked in the bowl; Blackhat made buttercream frosting. Flug unconsciously smiled.
"Would you like to taste it."
"Of coarse!" Blackhat pulled a spoon out of one of the drawers and put scooped out some of the frosting. He held the spoon in front of Flug's face. Flug felt his face go from a normal temperature to burning up in a few seconds. Blackhat had started out as his little crush when he came into the kitchen, but after getting to know him that night, he thought he might just kiss him. He leaned forward and and ate the frosting off spoon. As he expected, it was delectable. He involuntarily smiled again.
"Mmmm..." He looked up at Blackhat and locked eyes with him. They stared at each other for about three minutes straight. Flug saw something in that eye...though he just couldn't put his finger on it. He could swear he saw Blackhat's cheeks get just a little bit darker.
After he finished with the frosting, Blackhat broke eye contact and added the spoon to the rest of the dishes.
"I...assume that you liked it?"
"It was wonderful." Blackhat got a plate from a cabinet and flipped the plate onto it. He began to frost the cake. Flug noticed a shadow cast itself over Blackhat. He looked out the window to see that sun was just starting to come up. He then looked back to Blackhat, who was almost done frosting the cake. As fast as he did it, the frosting was smooth. He finished up and placed it on the table with the cookies and the muffins. Then quietly went over to the sink to wash the dishes.
"Um, the sun is starting to come up...I, uh, better get going if I wanna get any sleep..."
"Alright. Goodnight." Flug picked up his bag and goggles and started towards the door. He almost left the kitchen before remembering something.
"You know..." Blackhat looked up at Flug, yet didn't speak. He turned to face him.
"I never got to ask you why you've been so stressed this past week." Blackhat stopped what he was doing completely. He turned off the running water and stared at Flug.
"Oh...Well, uh...I, it's, um..." Flug had never heard Blackhat stutter before. Whatever he was stressed about, it was something big.
"Blackhat..." He walked up to him. It was only when he was standing next to him that Flug noticed that Blackhat's face had turned a shade darker. Each was illuminated by the faint shadow of sunlight. Blackhat stood there, speechless for the first time in his life. He debated a single question in his head.
Should he tell him...?
Blackhat tried to pull together the right words, but they all seemed to be stuck to the sides of his throat.
"Blackhat...what's wrong? You can tell me."
"You...don't need to worry about me..."
"Being worried about you is the reason I came to talk to you in the first place."
"I...It...It has something to do with you..."
"Me? Why would you be stressed about me?"
"Well...Because..." Blackhat couldn't take it anymore. He reached up and gently held Flug's face in his hands. Then he leaned down and kissed Flug directly on the lips.
Flug felt his his face go red for the second time that night. He was surprised at first, but kissed back quickly. In fear it would end too soon. The kiss ending at all would be ending too soon. He wrapped his arms around his waste; then tilted his head, deepening the kiss. They pulled away from each other a minute later, locking eyes again. Flug could see the same thing in Blackhat's eye that he did earlier that night. And finally understood what it was. It was love.
"...That. That is what I was stressed about." Now it was Flug's turn to be speechless.
"I...I had no idea you felt that way..."
"Well, now that you know that I do...I would like to know...do you feel the same...?"
"Are you kidding me? I think we both know the answer to that...!" He stood on his toes and kissed him again. Blackhat immediately kissed back. This time they kissed for longer. When they pulled away, Blackhat picked up Flug and spun him around; almost giddy with joy. The sun was coming up, it would be amazing to watch, but they were too happy with each other to be bothered with that.
Neither Blackhat or Flug had ever smiled that big in their lives.
It was past 4 AM, not that either of them cared. Both of them simply stared at each other for a few moments. Flug yawned since he'd been up for so long.
"Tired?"
"Mhm."
"Well then, I think we both deserve a little time off." Blackhat led Flug to his room. They both crashed on the bed. Not even caring what was happening outside the room. Though Flug managed to slip his bag and goggles on the way to Blackhat's room. They cuddled close to each other and fell asleep.
///
They both woke up a few hours later. Flug stretched and sat up.
"I think we should get up..."
"No...stay..." Blackhat wrapped his arms around Flug's waist and hugged him.
"Cuddley are we?"
"If that's what we were doing is called, then yes, I'm cuddley." Flug turned around and kissed his cheek through the bag.
"Well, I'd love to cuddle with you more, but we have to go make sure that Demencia and 5.0.5 didn't destroy the manor while we were out."
"I guess you're right..." Blackhat let go, then got up and stretched. They checked over the manor, but the only thing that was different was that some of the baked goods had been eaten and there was a note on the fridge that read:
"Dear BH and Flug-ster,
The Cookie Gremlin, Muffin Troll, and Cake Fairy came last night. We saved some of the treats they for you, the cake is in the fridge.
-Yours Falsely, Dem
P.S. I know that they Baking Creatures exist! I heard them making weird noises in the kitchen last night!"
Flug laughed and shook his head. Then he noticed that there was a cartoon drawing of a top hat and a plane with a heart in between them. He wondered if she suspected that they got together. (Little did he know that she went looking for the both of them that morning and found them cuddling. She actually took some pictures of them on her phone and was waiting for the perfect time to fangirl in front of them.)
Flug got out two muffins and made his coffee while Blackhat made his tea. They sat down together for breakfast, or brunch really.
"What? You don't want cookies for breakfast instead?"
"Actually, I was thinking we could have late night cookies once the others give us some alone time."
"Sounds like a plan."
And they both enjoyed their peaceful morning, together.