Work Text:
1. Himchan
"And -- cut! That's a wrap."
"Thank you for your hard work," the members chorus automatically.
It's been a grueling two continuous nights and days of filming. They've had worse, of course, but variety has a tendency to drain them even more easily than their hard-hitting dance routines and tightly scheduled MV filmings ever have. And this one came hot on the heels of a tiring four-month promotional cycle. 'Sweet free time' -- what rot.
Youngjae is whining incomprehensibly about how badly he's going to come out in the show when it airs. Jongup's nodding supportively to Youngjae's every other sentence. Junhong's got that contemplative look on his face, which means he's calculating how much time he has to take his board out for a spin before they're bundled back into the van. Yongguk is hiding from the cameras again, and Himchan --
Daehyun squints at where Himchan is quietly making his way back to their van alone. A quick glance assures him that the other members are still busy talking amongst themselves, and Daehyun quickens his steps to catch up with Himchan.
"Hyung," he greets. "Are you all right?" His concern builds as Himchan grunts, but otherwise barely acknowledges him.
Daehyun hesitates and wonders if the wiser thing to do would be to back away. Himchan's tense posture and hunched shoulders make the decision for him, and he bravely forges on instead. "Hyung -- I just wanted to say…"
What could he say, to make it better? He sucks in a breath.
"You're important to us," he says at last. "I know you think sometimes that you don't matter, that you could disappear and it wouldn't make a difference. But we love you, and your fans love you. There's nothing you could do or say that could change what you mean to us. Like you said, in this variety show, you were real. People can see that. And they -- we -- appreciate that." He pauses, and continues quietly, "Even though we really suck at showing it."
Himchan never replies, but Daehyun is relieved when some of that tension leaves his body, and the sad lines around his face start to soften. Himchan is too hard on himself.
In the van, Daehyun opts to sit beside Himchan instead of his customary seat at the back with Youngjae. Youngjae gets a grumpy expression on his face when he's squished into the back with Junhong and Jongup, and shoots Daehyun a look of betrayal.
Daehyun smiles apologetically at him, but when Himchan falls asleep and snuggles determinedly into Daehyun, he puts an arm around his hyung and lets himself be cuddled.
It's going to be all right.
2. Yongguk
It's another all-nighter for Yongguk, who's hard at work producing the songs for their first full-length album. It has to be perfect -- something that will bring out Daehyun and Youngjae's beautiful vocals, Zelo and Yongguk's gritty raps, and give Jongup and Himchan a chance to shine. After a day of running around at the beck and call of his hyungs at the production studio, making his way back into B.A.P's shared dorms is both an incredible relief and a humbling experience. What would they say if they see their hyung behaving like a maknae? What kind of credibility would they have? B.A.P should bow and scrape to no one.
But when he stumbles back into the dorm, his members are still awake, and talking loudly. There are suspicious-looking, half-open boxes littering the floor of their dorm and the smell of oil and grease in the air.
"Ah, hyung!" Jongup notices Yongguk first and waves at him, brandishing the fried chicken wing in his hand. "Daehyun-hyung said you'd probably be hungry, so we ordered some food to share."
"Are you sure it wasn't because Daehyun was hungry?" Himchan mutters, but he brightens up at the sight of Yongguk. "Try some of this; you'll love it!"
"Weren't you guys just complaining you weren't getting enough sleep? What's with the midnight party?" Yongguk is sure that the flabbergasted look on his face doesn't suit him at all, but he's too tired to care.
Daehyun bounds over and slides a warm piece of chicken into his hand. "If we're tired, then Yongguk-hyung, you'd be even more tired. How can we be sleeping when hyung is busy working on our new album?"
Yongguk is certain the lump wasn't in his throat when he first stepped in.
3. Jongup
It's not that Jongup has nothing to say. It's just that there are times when the cameras are trained on his face and his members are watching him expectantly that makes his mind blank, leaving only a weak smile on his face. He's nowhere on the level of Daehyun, quick-thinking and comfortable with his tongue.
"Jonguppie, why don't you show them your reggae dance moves?"
"Jongup's been hard at work practicing his singing."
"I'll need Jongup's help for this impression."
"Do it in a Kyungsang-do dialect," Daehyun whispers in his ear, and, grateful for the intervention, Jongup opens his mouth and speaks.
4. Junhong
Being the maknae has its bonuses, but more often than not, though, it has a lot of baggage that is hard to shake off at times.
For all of his confidence when he's performing, take away his choreography and his raps and you're left with a surprisingly shy, easily embarrassed Junhong. He's used to keeping his head down at home, being scolded for leaving the dishes in the sink, the one left with all the unpleasant chores because his old siblings don't want to do them, and it translates just as easily into his carefully respectful behavior among his hyungs.
He doesn't mind, mostly -- the B.A.P members are used to being the youngest at home, and they know the trials and tribulations of being the overlooked one, the one nobody really expects very much from until they're suddenly standing on the stage, bright lights shining on them and daring anyone to ever underestimate them again. They don't go out of their way to make life difficult for him. But there are always other things that can take an unexpected toll on the maknae of a group.
Junhong doesn't like to whine or complain, so when the six of them return to their dorm, deadbeat and staggering on jelly legs after a grueling day of training, he allows himself to collapse quietly in a corner as Yongguk-hyung runs the first bath. Everyone's movements are slower after a long day; if Junhong's lucky, he'll finally be able to tuck himself under his covers in another hour and a half, after his hyungs take their shower and get ready for bed.
He's half-dozing when someone comes up to him and quietly nudges him. He grunts and shifts, unwilling to wake.
"Junhong-ah, take this first." Something wet and warm is pressed to his face -- a cloth, he realises. Junhong reaches up to take it, eyes still closed, and he hears Daehyun's soft chuckle. "All right, I'll do it. Go to sleep."
As the cloth wipes away the grime, Junhong feels it wipe away some of his tiredness as well. He doesn't voice it, but sometimes, it's nice to be the one being taken care of.
5. Youngjae
With Youngjae, it's hard to tell. He's developed a kind of poker face over the months since their debut. Daehyun knows it's to protect himself from the sometimes cutting comments from the millions of eyes trained on him. They still talk in the privacy of their dorm, but the kind of open, unrestrained Youngjae the public saw when they had all been given hand cameras and told to record their "diaries" in Singapore -- this is a Youngjae that is kept mostly under wraps now, under a persona that is careful and handsome and polite and doesn't rock the boat.
So Daehyun tries to make him laugh, to tease him and draw him out again. It works. Most of the time.
Sometimes it's hard with a same-aged friend. Easier to take him for granted. To assume that he'll always be there, regardless of what happens, regardless of what Daehyun says. To take it for granted that he's just as quick on his feet and with his words as Daehyun is.
"I'm sorry," Daehyun says, when it's finally just the two of them. They're alone on the roof, for some reason. The others have gone to get lunch.
Youngjae doesn't reply for a while, and Daehyun's heart sinks horribly. Is this it, then? The end of their friendship?
Fear forces him to speak.
"I didn't mean to imply your story wasn't important," Daehyun blurts. "I just -- " hate to think of how upset you were when the fans were making snide remarks about your weight " -- don't like you having to spill your guts like that to the world."
He thinks about the sleepless nights and the anxious frown that had started to form in between Youngjae's eyes whenever he scrolled through Twitter and their online forums, the way he began to compulsively check his appearance in mirrors before he went anywhere, the way he'd scarily stopped eating. Daehyun had gone through months of secret panic, afraid that Youngjae was starving himself beyond what their daily dance practices and hectic schedule could allow. Those nights that Youngjae had lain in bed, tossing and turning and unable to sleep, Daehyun had been worrying right along with him.
Daehyun forces the memories aside.
"Youngjae-ah. I've never once thought of you as fat or ugly." He swallows, then continues bravely. "You know, whenever they ask us to do visual rankings of our members, in my mind, you always come first. I think Himchan-hyung is handsome, I think you're even more gorgeous. I hate it when people try to say differently and make you feel bad about yourself. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Not to me."
Youngjae turns and faces him, still expressionless. "Is this your way of sucking up to me?" But there are hints of a smile tickling at the corners of his lips.
Daehyun almost cries at relief that floods through him. "Sure. If that's what it takes."
"You're lucky I like you so much." Youngjae smirks, and the sight does things to Daehyun's heart.
I am, Daehyun thinks, but doesn't say.
6. And one time they take care of him
Daehyun coughs weakly, trying in vain to pull his scarf more securely around his throat. Inside him is a building panic.
Their comeback is in a week. His high notes are challenging on a good day, impossible on a bad day. Half the lines of the chorus are his. B.A.P is known for their super rookie status and their live performances; all it will take is for one MR removed video to be posted of their comeback and they'll be doomed. Their loyal fans will know immediately it isn't their norm to lip sync, but it could be the nail in the coffin for the new fans they're trying to win. They have a great song, carefullly and painstakingly composed by Yongguk, and Daehyun isn't going to be the one to ruin it for the group. He won't.
It's this mix of fear and determination that makes him open his mouth and test his notes again. He frowns at the raspy noise, and pushes himself harder.
"Daehyun," Youngjae's voice says sharply, cutting through another coughing fit. "What do you think you're doing?"
"I'm warming up," Daehyun says defensively. "Don't we have practice in an hour?"
Youngjae regards the thick scarf wrapped around Daehyun's neck, his flushed cheeks and sweaty forehead, and his lips go tight. "What gives you the impression you're going to be a part of that rehearsal?"
Cold fear seizes Daehyun's heart. What was he saying? Just as Daehyun was brought in just before B.A.P's debut, had they brought someone else in just before their comeback? Was he being... replaced?
Youngjae must see the slightly wild expression on Daehyun's face because he grasps his shoulders firmly with both hands. "Stop freaking out. Whatever you're thinking -- stop it. Yongguk hyung has decided you need to rest more before our comeback. You're welcome to watch, but you're not allowed to sing."
"But -- "
Youngjae's eyes narrow. "Do you think we can't do without you?"
Daehyun inhales, a quick, surprised breath, and tries to keep the sudden hurt out of his face. He probably fails, because all of a sudden Youngjae is reaching to grasp his wrists, making a pained sound of denial. "I didn't mean it like that, Daehyun. I mean you put too much pressure on yourself." He scowls. "I know my singing can't compare to yours -- "
"Don't say that!" Daehyun protests automatically. Youngjae doesn't need another complex to add on to his already full plate.
Youngjae raises an eyebrow. "Naturally. I was the original lead vocal, after all. So you concede that I sing well?"
"Of course!"
"Then let me carry the notes for you in the rehearsal, and you can pay me back when we get to the real thing."
Daehyun somehow feels like he's been conned.
"Hyung!" Junhong springs out from nowhere, and presses a warm can into Daehyun's hand. "It's a honey ginger drink," he clarifies, as Daehyun stares at it. "Not grape, I wouldn't poison you like that."
"Thanks," Daehyun says awkwardly, fingering the can.
"Oh Daehyun," Himchan says, approaching the little group with Jongup in tow. "Drink it while it's hot; Junhongie convinced our manager to lend him money for that. Don't waste his heart."
"Hyung, here are the sweets you like," Jongup adds. "Himchan-hyung and I picked them up on the way here." He waves several packs of herbal candies at Daehyun, who takes them disbelivingly. Does everyone know he's got a sore throat?
"What's going on?" Daehyun says, backing away slowly. "Is this a hidden camera? What's the catch?"
Yongguk chooses that time to appear -- not a moment too soon. "Hey guys, I've just spoken to manager-hyung. He's agreed to cancel today's practice so that we can get some rest."
Daehyun chokes at that, and ends up having another coughing fit.
"Oh dear," Yongguk says, patting his back sympathetically. As if by clockwork, Junhong snags the can from Daehyun's weak grasp and opens it, thrusting it back at him. Daehyun sips at the drink and wills the burning in his throat to subside.
"So what's going on?" Daehyun demands, once he's breathing normally again. "Is this a parallel reality? Has everyone forgotten that we're making our comeback in a matter of days? We need all the practice we can get."
Himchan tuts at him disapprovingly. "Have you forgotten we've been doing nothing but practice in between all our concerts and fan meets? You also don't seem to realise that you're sick."
"A bit of rest never killed anyone." Youngjae's eyes are still dark with concern. "Overworking has."
Daehyun grasps desperately for his last card. "And manager-hyung agreed to this?"
"We kind of all agreed that we need our King of High Notes to drive all the girls crazy," Himchan says flippantly, tipping Jongup's cap off his head with a bored hand. Jongup yelps and grabs at his cap before it drops to the floor. "Can't very well do that if you end up straining your voice or developing vocal nodules."
"And it's only for one afternoon," Yongguk says reasonably.
"Which we're wasting," Youngjae points out.
Which is how they find themselves in a puppy pile in their dorm. Jongup and Yongguk have pushed the beds together, and Daehyun is emphatically made to lie down in the middle of all of that, with more pillows and blankets than he can shake a stick at. Junhong is sprawled out horizontally at the foot of the beds, his long body stretched out aross the beds. Himchan is snuggled on one side of Daehyun, and Youngjae takes his undisputed place on the other side of him. Youngjae's body is warm and comfortable next to his.
Yongguk snaps the lights off, and there's a dip in the bed as he joins them, slotting into the empty spot next to Jongup. There's silent breathing for a while.
"Pass the banana," Junhong says suddenly.
"A tomato is a fruit, not a vegetable," Jongup replies inexplicably, and issues a small snore to punctuate his sentence.
The remaining four dissolve into giggles. Himchan turns to make a comment to Yongguk, and Youngjae seizes that moment to say something to Daehyun.
"Daehyun." Youngjae's voice is serious, and Daehyun turns slightly to face him. "Don't take your health so lightly. You matter to us. More than a perfect stage."
"Don't let Yongguk-hyung hear you," Daehyun jokes.
"I already did," Yongguk's voice informs them through the dark.
Never one to resist putting in his two cents, Himchan chips in. "Listen to Youngjae, Daehyun. He's not the spokesperson for B.A.P for nothing."
"I thought I was the spokesperson," Daehyun protests weakly, albeit hoarsely.
Beside him, Youngjae sniggers. "You're not going to be much of a spokesperson if you don't have a voice." Daehyun punches him with his pillow.
"Don't fight, children," Yongguk admonishes.
They settle down obediently.
Shortly after, Youngjae starts snoring, Yongguk and Himchan join the sleeptalking chorus, and Daehyun squeezes his arms around his pillow and thinks about how lucky he is to have a family.