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“Hey, Dave?”
“Yeah?”
“I think I’m in love. … hey, don’t laugh!”
“That was hardly a chuckle. I’m not laughing at you.”
“You better not be. This is serious.”
“It always is.”
“What ya sayin, Dave? - C’mon, tell me.”
“It's nothing, Jack. Just... you’re in love with someone new every week. Either it’s Kath, or my sister, or the girl at the market, or someone who spared you a smile on your way to work. I apologize if I don’t take each declaration too seriously."
"..."
"Jack, don’t be mad.”
“I ain’t.”
“Jack.”
“It ain’t every week, Dave. It’s been months now since I last said anythin about being in love. And why? Cause these feelings didn’t just come outta the blue. I’ve been feelin’ them for a while. You could even say I've been pinin’.”
“Pining?”
“Yeah.”
“Who is it?”
“Ya know, since you were so rude, maybe I just won’t tell ya at all.”
“Really? - Jack, tell me.”
“Ya lost your privilege, Dave.”
“Jack- you know what, that’s fine.”
“Huh?”
“I can live without knowing who you’re pining over.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Okay.”
“...”
“...”
“Dave, you ain’t- you ain’t really upset, right?”
“Of course not. And neither are you?”
“I like teasin’ ya, Davey. It would take a lot more than that to make me upset.”
“Good.”
“...”
“So, who is it?”
“I was serious about the not tellin’ ya part. We all gotta keep secrets.”
“You aren’t allowed to interrupt my studying to complain about your love life and then not give me any details.”
“I’m allowed ta’ do whatever I want ta', about this, at least. Cause someone still hasn’t told me who he likes, weeks after he told me he likes someone.”
“... I didn’t mean to tell you that, in the first place.”
“C’mon, Dave, I’ve told you about each person I’ve liked except this one. You've been pinin', just like me. The least you can do is share this person's identity with your best friend.”
“I don't pine. And I can’t tell you.”
“Why?”
“I just can’t, Jack. Don’t push it.”
“No need ta’ get testy. Can I guess?”
“You won’t get it right.”
“Is it Kath?- c’mon, Dave, scoffing at my guess? I was that off? Okay, I’ll try again… Is it one a’ those girls from school? No? Uh… A celebrity? One a’ the girls at Medda’s theatre?”
“No, Jack.”
“We really don’t know that many girls, Dave. You gotta help me out.”
“It’s not-”
“Not what?”
“It’s… not a girl, Jack.”
“It’s not- oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh.”
“Is that a problem?”
“No- Dave, no, of course it ain’t.”
“You sure?”
“Well, it would be pretty hypocritical a’ me to say otherwise.”
“What- Jack- what?”
“The person I like- love- whateva I said. They ain’t- he ain’t a girl neither.”
“Is that why you didn’t tell me?”
“One a’ the reasons, yeah.”
“So, then, who is it?”
“I said it was one of the reasons, not all of them. You gotta tell me yours first.”
“Not happening.”
“Are you gonna make me guess again?”
“I never ‘made you’ in the first place. You started, and I didn’t stop you.”
“Is it Crutchie?”
“What- no, Jack, no.”
“Race? Spot?”
“Jack, this is stupid.”
“So it’s one of them?”
“It definitely isn’t. I was just pointing out that this guessing game is stupid. You are never going to guess, and I’m never telling.”
“I’m a great guesser. And I ain’t givin’ up. We’ve narrowed down our closer friends, which would naturally leave the other ones we’re friends with as the natural next guesses. But you’re smart, and you’d think a’ that. So who's someone I wouldn’t guess- don’t roll your eyes at me, Dave. This is some investigative shit goin’ down now.”
“Oh, sure.”
“Is it- it ain’t one of the Delancy’s, is it?”
“Oh- no, god no.”
“Okay, yeah, that one was a bit far-fetched-”
“And you call yourself a great guesser, Jack Kelly.”
“No need ta’ laugh-”
“It was so bad it’s laughable.”
“Bein’ tormented by you hurts, Dave. It really does.”
“How can you ever forgive me.”
“And the dry tone! I’m just tryin’ ta’ help.”
“Hmm, would you call me helping if I just listed off all of our friends’- and enemies’, too- all of their names, and forced you to identify which one you had feelings for?”
“I’d love it.”
“...You really would, wouldn’t you? I’m not humoring you today.”
“Why must you be so cruel?”
“Maybe I’d be less cruel if a boy hadn’t just dramatically fallen into my lap.”
“Millions a’ people would kill ta’ be this close ta’ me.”
“I’m sure.”
“..."
"..."
"...Dave?”
“Yeah?”
“Whatcha doin’?”
“Oh- sorry- your hair just looked ruffled-”
“-No, I wasn’t askin’ ya ta’ stop. I like the feelin’ of your fingers in my hair.”
“Okay. … Jack.”
“Uh huh?”
“You seem really into this.”
“It’s like a scalp massage, Dave. Forgive me fa’ enjoyin’ it.”
“You are forgiven.”
“You still didn’t tell me who you like.”
“I would, if you just told me who you liked.”
“Yeah, but when I tell ya, I’ll just look like an idiot.”
“No, you won’t.”
“Trust me on this, Davey.”
“You’re my best friend, Jack. My first real friend. I’m not going to let that change over some passing feelings of romantic attraction, okay?”
“...Okay.”
“You’re actually going to tell me?”
“Yeah, yeah. Just- just let me enjoy this for another minute.”
“The hair thing?”
“No, bein’ this close- no, wait forget what I said. Let’s go with the hair thing.”
“Were you going to say being this close to me? That won’t change.”
“No, I was goin’ ta’ say the hair thing. We’re stickin’ with that.”
“Alright, Jack.”
“...”
“... Tell me now?”
“Fine.”
“You don’t have to sit up.”
“I kinda do.”
“And, if you don't want to tell me, you really don't have to. I want to know, but I don't want to pressure you.”
"Nah, I gotta get this off my shoulders."
"As long as you're sure."
“A hundred percent. ... Uh, Dave… Davey, like ya’ said, we’re best friends. And we’ve gone through a lotta shit together. I care about ya’ more than I care about most people I’ve met, so I guess it shouldn’t be much of a surprise that I started… That I started fallin’ for ya’.”
“Jack-”
“Please let me finish, Dave. Ya like someone, and that’s okay, and I don’t mind. I ain’t mad about it, or bitter, and I’ll even help ya’ with him, if ya want. I didn’t come here with any delusions that ya like me back, so… I just wanna still be friends.”
“Well, I don’t.”
“Dave, please- Davey, are you laughin’?”
“Jack-”
“Oh, shit, now you’re cryin’. What’d I- I’m sorry?”
“Jacky- Jack, Jack-”
“That sure is my name- Okay, I appreciate the hug, really, but I’m kinda confused and just a bit hopeful so please hurry and explain.”
“I don’t want to be your friend, Jack.”
“Mixed signals, Dave.”
“I love you.”
“I- you-”
“I don’t want to be just your friend.”
“You love me?”
“I love you.”
“But I don’t- but you said you liked someone.”
“Yeah. You.”
“God, Davey. You shoulda just said that.”
“I wanted to. But what if you didn’t feel the same?”
“I do, though.”
“And now I know that. … But, Jacky, what are we?”
“I dunno, Dave. You tell me.”
“I love you, and you love me. I’d call that enough.”
“I would too. … Davey?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too. … Jacky?”
“Davey?”
“We should- do you want to- Jack. Kiss me.”
“Thought you’d never ask.”
“...”
“... Davey, Davey- could you- hair?”
“I should have known you were only in this to get me to pet your hair. You’re like a cat.”
“Dave- Davey- please don’t compare me ta’ small animals when we’re kissin’.”
“Sorry, Jacky.”
“And I love kissin’ you well enough with just that, but the hair thing- Yeah- yeah, could you keep doin’ that?”
“Only if you kiss me again.”
“Fair trade, Davey Jacobs.”