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Jonghyun woke up in the middle of the night when he felt his mattress sink to the weight of another body. He tensed, his heart pounding from fear.
“Jonghyun? Sorry, did I wake you up?”
Jonghyun gasped, immediately sat up and turned to the voice.
“Minhyun!”
The moonlight filtering through the window shutters was barely enough to illuminate the room, but it was enough for Jonghyun to see the figure in the dark. Minhyun was sitting at the edge of the bed, looking tired but as beautiful as Jonghyun last saw him. He rubbed his eyes, hardly believing he was really awake.
“What are you doing here? I thought you weren't allowed to leave your dorm?”
Jonghyun scooted over to let Minhyun come closer and Minhyun sat up next to him.
“I'm not,” Minhyun chuckled. “I snuck out during the night.”
Jonghyun slapped him on the arm. “Why? You should get back quickly before you get in trouble!”
Minhyun wrapped an arm around Jonghyun and laid down, pulling Jonghyun down with him. Jonghyun tried sitting up again but Minhyun grabbed his hand in a silent plea. He laid down, facing Minhyun.
Minhyun’s gaze swept over Jonghyun’s face, as if he was trying to memorize every little detail he might have forgotten during the months they’ve been apart. “I missed you. Isn't that reason enough to come visit?”
Jonghyun hoped the darkness of the room would hide his sudden blush.
“I-it's not. Who knows what they'll do if they find out you went to visit NU’EST, let alone that you snuck out at night? You know they made the rules for a reason.”
“I'm visiting only you though. It'll be fine.”
Jonghyun opened his mouth to argue again, but Minhyun gently covered his mouth with his hand. “It's fine. I'll only be here for a bit, anyway, so let's just enjoy our time together?”
Minhyun quickly retracted his hand when he felt something moist. He was about to tease Jonghyun about how licking someone else’s hand was not cool, when he saw tears.
“Jonghyun–”
“I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left you alone.” Jonghyun pulled the covers higher, blinking rapidly to stop more tears from falling. “I wasn't good enough to stay by your side. I should have tried harder, should have appealed more. Then maybe you wouldn't be suffering through this alone.”
Minhyun pulled him into a hug. It hurt to hear Jonghyun blaming himself. He should have been used to this, because it had always been in Jonghyun’s personality, but he hated seeing Jonghyun hurting.
“It's not your fault. Everyone knows mnet wanted us out. The only thing they could do in the end was make rules to put us in a disadvantage and only let one of us debut.” Minhyun stroked Jonghyun's hair, feeling his shirt get wet from tears. “I'm fine, Jonghyun. I have Jaehwan and Seongwoo and the others. And it's not like I can't come to see you again like this.”
“It's not the same.” Jonghyun muttered against Minhyun’s chest. “I miss you. I miss seeing you everyday. Seeing you when we wake up, seeing you when we eat, seeing you when we practice. I miss sleeping next to you and feeling your warm body. I miss feeling assured knowing that you’re by my side to support me. I miss hugging you and kissing–”
Minhyun lifted Jonghyun's head to kiss him lightly on the lips. A slight brush that left Jonghyun wanting more.
“If you say things like that, I might never leave.” Minhyun let out a wet chuckle. He didn't cry easily, but now that he had Jonghyun in his arms, his heart ached at the thought of letting him go again.
Jonghyun gripped Minhyun's shirt tightly and pulled him back for another kiss. Minhyun’s lips were warm and soft, and Jonghyun could taste the saltiness of his own tears. Despite the heat under the covers, he felt cold.
“I wish I could tell you: then don't leave.”
They laid together for another few hours, just basking in each other's company.
Minhyun pushed a stray hair out of Jonghyun’s face. “Who knows, maybe if you comeback around the same time we do, we can see each other more at music shows.”
Jonghyun propped himself up on his elbow and angrily hit Minhyun on the chest. “What are you saying! We could never comeback without you. NU’EST isn't complete without you!”
Minhyun licked his lips and smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. “It's not just your decision. If the fans really want it, if the boss wants it, if the others don't mind it, NU’EST can just promote as four until my contract ends. I don't mind. It's for the good of NU’EST.”
Jonghyun stared down at him, angry tears welling up in his eyes. “Frustrating. I haven't cried for months but you keep making me cry.”
Minhyun smiled, genuinely this time. He reached up to caress Jonghyun’s face. “I'm sorry. You know I'm just saying the truth, though.”
Jonghyun bit the inside of his cheek. “So am I. If anyone even suggests it, I'll batter them down. We will wait for you. I will wait for you.”
Minhyun flopped onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “Thanks, but... NU’EST shouldn’t have another hiatus. Not when we’ve finally gotten the popularity we want. We can’t let it cool down and have our struggles in Produce 101 become nothing.”
“It won’t be nothing, because you’re promoting. Let’s have faith in our fans, old and new. That they’ll have faith in us.”
Minhyun chuckled. “Now you’re sounding more like the leader you’ve always been. Anyway, let’s not talk about this anymore. It’s not what I came here for.” He pulled Jonghyun back into his embrace. “I’ve been dreaming of being next to you like this for weeks. I’m not sure how I survived without you for these past few months.”
Jonghyun buried his face into Minhyun’s neck and wrapped his arms around his waist. “You smell kind of different now…”
“Because of my new dorm? I suppose.” Minhyun kissed the top of Jonghyun’s head. “You still smell the same though, onibugi.”
Jonghyun snorted, and grinned up at him. It was comfortable like this, the two of them in Jonghyun’s bed just chatting about things that didn’t matter as if they had all the time in the world. It felt like a dream, a delicate, fragile dream that might shatter if you touched it…
They both jumped a little when a vibrating noise broke the comfortable silence, startling them. Minhyun reached for his phone on the bedside, slightly flustered. They looked at who messaged him, and saw it was Seongwoo.
ooong 4:36 am
dude where are you??
i woke up and saw you
weren’t there
ooong 4:37 am
you better get home soon
before the managers come
to pick us up in a few hours
cuz i can’t promise i’ll be
able to cover for you
min angel 4:40 am
k, thnx for worrying ㅋㅋ
I’ll be back before 6
Minhyun sighed, not wanting to get out of the warm bed to leave.
“I wish I could make you stay, at least a while longer.” Jonghyun whispered. “The others miss you too. It really isn’t the same without you here.”
Minhyun turned to meet his gaze, and smiled softly. “I know, I wish I could stay too.” He kissed Jonghyun on his forehead, his nose, his cheeks, and his lips, revelling at the pretty pink that dusted his cheeks. “I promise I’ll come back and visit you the next time I have a free day. I’ll even bring flowers. If not, I’ll sneak out at night again when I can. And next time, we can do something more than just sit around and chat.”
Minhyun smirked when Jonghyun’s ears turned red. “Are you thinking about something weird, bugi?” He teased.
Jonghyun flushed even more. “You’re too much!” He leaned forward and bit Minhyun hard in the junction between his neck and shoulder.
Minhyun flinched, watching Jonghyun with wide eyes. “Hey, Jong…”
Jonghyun sat back and gave Minhyun a hard stare. “I’m marking my territory. Who knows if someone will latch onto you since you’re too kind to properly push people away. You’re mine. And you better not forget.”
Minhyun broke out in laughter, which Jonghyun joined moments later.
“You sap… Don’t worry, I’ll never forget. I love you, Jonghyun.”
“Who’s the sap?… I love you too.”