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Day 1
It's been a day since praimfaya hit the earth with all its destructive force burning everything to the ground. Well, almost everything. Clarke still wasn’t sure if she was actually alive or if she was in some kind of afterlife but from the blinding pain of her lesions she was pretty sure it must have been hell. But miraculously with each passing hour her health improved more and more and the fog in her head cleared little by little. By the end of the day she had stopped coughing blood.
She turned, looking at the dark pool of blood near her spot on the floor. She hadn't had the strength to move since she had collapsed there the day before, too weak and tired to even try. It took her a moment to register but a realization hit her. The nightblood was working, slowly maybe but still, she was going to survive thanks to it. Bellamy was right to still have hope in it.
Bellamy.
Was he alive? Did they make it? Only now everything that had happened the day before came back to her in a rush of fear and agitation.
She was still weak but she willed herself up and she slowly moved towards the radio that sat in the lower part of the lab.
She grabbed it and after sitting on the floor she pushed the button on the mic and started speaking.
“Ark station do you read me?”
No response but a static noise that clawed her hearth out. What if they hadn’t made it? What if she had been too late and they had died because of it?
“Ark station do you read me? Over.”
Panic was steadily cracking through her sore voice as she kept reciting her litany over and over again. But each time only static came out of the radio speaker.
She was disheartened, tears falling uncontrollably on her cheeks at the thought of her friends being dead. Dead because she wasn’t able to align a damned disc. How could they be dead after all they’ve done to survive in the past year. How she could have been the only one left?
Her puffy eyes fell on her limp body. She wasn’t supposed to be alive. She wasn’t supposed to be able to withstand the death wave, and yet there she was. All deformed and bloody and tired but still fighting.
Her mind travelled back weeks, to the the metal walls of the chancellor’s room in Arkadia.
“Do you still have hope?” She had whispered trough her tears.
“Are we still breathing?” He had answered broken as much as her but still sure and defying in his resolve.
A small smile grew on her lips at the thought. She was still breathing all right. And so she would still hope. She grabbed the radio again and with re-found strength she spoke to the void.
“Bellamy. It’s me, Clarke. Somehow I’m still alive. I hope you are as well. No, - she corrected herself shaking her head even though nobody was there to see - I know you are, I’m pretty sure you just haven’t got around to fix the com system yet but in case you have and you are getting this message, well… Know that I’ll be ok and I’ll be waiting for you to come down. I know we will meet again.”
She ended the transmission with that and she decided to look for some medicines. Nightblood or not she still had radiation poisoning and she didn’t want to risk it. She would have tried again tomorrow.
Day 30
“Bellamy. It’s been a month since praimfaya. Most of the lesions are healed now. I don’t think they will even scar. - A small chuckle escaped her lips, she definitely had too few scars considering all she’d been trough. - Lucky me. I’ve tried to contact the bunker but no luck on their end either. I’m guessing the radiation must have messed up the signal. I’m sure Raven would know what to do, she always does. I’ll try again when the radiation levels go down, maybe then I’ll be able to talk to you too.”
Day 78
“Bellamy, it’s me again. I went outside today. Since it’s been 78 days since the apocalypse and I’ve been running short on supplies I guessed I might as well take a chance and guess what, I’m still not dead. Maybe there is really hope after all. Tomorrow I’ll try to go to the bunker and see how things are there. Not that I’m expecting much since everything is still burning with radiation but well hope dies last as they used to say.”
Day 100
Clarke was in the bunker reading one of the thousand books Becca had left behind when the radio startled her with a loud screech. She almost couldn’t believe her hears. Maybe she was finally going crazy, after more than three months with no real human interaction it was only to be expected really.
But that flicker of hope she had been clinging to like a life line wouldn’t let her think she was. Instead her heart raced as she flung herself to the radio to adjust the frequency.
“-via. This is the Ring, do you read me?”
She couldn’t stop the tears from falling. It was his voice. Distorted by thousands of miles and a radiation poisoned planet but it was still that warm and gruff voice that grounded her more that gravity ever could. Bellamy was alive on the Ring and that knowledge alone made that tiny flame of hope she had burst into a wildfire inside her heart that burned even more than praimfaya ever did.
With trembling hands and a broken voice she answered his call.
“Yes! Bellamy, I read you! It’s me. It’s Clarke!”
“I know you can’t answer back, at least that’s what Raven said. Something about not having a long ranged frequency that can go up to space, I don’t know. Actually I didn’t understand a single word she said. You know me O., I’m not good with that stuff.”
Her joy was taken away as suddenly as it arrived. This transmission wasn’t for her. Of course it wasn’t, if the radio in the bunker wasn’t strong enough to get a message to space she was pretty sure hers wasn’t either and that meant she was actually talking to the void for the past 100 days, that meant that they had no idea that she was alive and well. Her heart broke a little at the thought, knowing first had how it feels to think you let someone behind to die a fiery death.
“But she also said you should be able to get our end of the message now that she fixed our radio so here I am. - He continued after a brief pause. He seemed so tired, Clarke wondered if he was getting any sleep but if she knew Bellamy he probably wasn’t. - The others are fine too, most of them at least.”
This pause was longer, heavier. Even through the radio Clarke could feel his guilt fill the air and if she wasn’t already crying she would have started as she heard his broken voice when he resumed his message for his sister.
“O… I left her behind. I promised that I wouldn’t let anything happen to her and I left her behind to die.”
“No… No! I’m alive! Bellamy I’m alive!” She almost screamed into the radio. She knew it was useless but she needed him to know. To know that he made the right call, to know that she was alive and that they would have met again as soon as they came down. But he didn’t know. None of them did. She was like a ghost listening in a conversation that wasn’t meant for her.
“Please, tell Abby that I failed and that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”
Another long silence interrupted his speech. Clarke was sure he was crying just like she was.
“I have to go now. The Ring is a mess and we have a lot to work on. I’ll call you again tomorrow. Be safe down there.”
Clarke was in a numb state of shock after that. She had never heard Bellamy Blake be so broken before. Not when he confessed his fears to her under that tree so long ago, not even when his sister refused to talk to him. Never she had witnessed him at such a low point. She wished she could simply wrap her tiny arms against his big frame and hug his sadness away, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t be able to do so for five years.
But he and the others were alive and now she would be able to hear from them and that was more that she could have ever hoped for this morning.
She wiped away her tears with the back of her hands and defiance in her heart she thought she would wait for them to come down and for the bunker to open up and that she would have surprised everyone. She was the Commander of Death after all and she would be damned if death took her before she could see Bellamy Blake again.
Day 234
Bellamy’s messages had become a way for her to keep track of time. Her constant as she tried to figure out a way to get off the island. They came always around the same time in the early evening and they were usually a recap of his day, of what they fixed on the Ark and of what they still had to do. She knew it was stupid since they wouldn’t be able to hear her but after he finished she would always answer with a recap of her own day. It wasn’t like having an actual conversation sure but it was still better than nothing.
That day he had missed his call though. He was more than three hours late and she refused to go to bed until she had heard his voice. She had to wait three more before he made his usual call to Octavia.
“Hey O. It’s me. Sorry I know I’m late but Murphy insisted on helping Raven with fixing one of the weather controls station that would let us know how bad the radiation down there are and well… He made crash the whole system for 8 hours. Raven threatened to float him if he ever tries to help her again.”
Clarke snorted at that, imaging the scene in her head, relieve filling her heart.
“Anyway, aside that everything here is the same. I hope everything is ok down there too. Love you.”
Clarke smiled fondly at his last words. She knew they weren’t for her but still, hearing him say that every day with so much love and worry in them made her smile. He sure did have a big heart. He was her heart, and she couldn’t wait for the day she could be reunited with him. She had realized for a while now how she felt about him and she swore she would let him know this time.
Day 365
Clarke received the daily transmission from the ark as she was making her way to what once was Arkadia. She had finally been able to get off the island on a make-shift boat the week before and she got the rover to work again that morning. She knew she would find no-one there but she still felt it was somewhere she needed to go to.
“Hey Octavia. It’s Bellamy. - She stopped the rover and turned the volume up to be able to listen to him better. - It’s been a year since praimfaya. Since I left her behind.”
After that first time on day 100, Bellamy had never brought Clarke up in a conversation again. She thought it was his way to deal with what he did and from the sad tone his voce had today she was knew she was right. As she heard the rest of the message the usual wrinkle of worry in her brown appeared again.
“Sometimes I think that if only we had waited a little more maybe she would still be alive. But then again, if we had waited more we would probably be all dead now, and she wouldn’t have wanted that.”
“Of course I wouldn’t, you idiot.” She said to no-one.
“She said I should use my head more, you know. - A dry laugh escaped his lips and Clarke’s formed a microscopic smile fondly remembering the moment they shared before everything went to shit. - It’s not really my thing but I’m trying. Now that I don’t have her for that I don’t really have a choice. But everyone is still alive so I guess I’m not doing too bad.”
Another simile colored her lips at the half joke. He had always been good at those.
“Anyway I’m guessing that for you this must be the new Unity Day, since now you are One Kru and all that. I hope you have as much fun as we did back at the Drop-ship. Do you still remember O.? Things were so much simpler then. I miss those days.”
Clarke took a moment to remember the party they had at the camp. The fun, the games, most of the 100 still alive and mostly happy. Bellamy’s smile. Yes, she missed those days too.
She resumed her drive but she changed the destination. She was going to stay at the Drop-ship tonight.
She didn’t take long to get there and she was pleased to see that it was still there. A little charred and rugged but still standing, just like them. This of all the places she had seen on earth was the closest thing to a home she had, it was where everything started. She got her radio and sat inside the Drop-ship in what had been once their medical bay and started her usual ritual.
“Bellamy. It’s me again. I know you won’t be hearing this but I’m still doing it. It’s my way of being close to you. Anyway, I do remember Unity Day. Actually I’m at the Drop-ship right now… We have so many memories here, I’m glad this place survived the apocalypse. Well in part it has at least. The forest is dead and it just started to grow back so there is only grass and small plants here now. The wall we built is no longer here and neither are the tents but the ship is still here. So are the tombs. It still feels like home but it’s missing it’s most important piece. You.”
Day 407
“Hey O. Me again. Today we were finally able to make the algae not taste like shit so it was big win. If I had to hear Murphy complain one more time about the lack of spices I might have floated him. Raven is still trying to come up with a way for us to come down safely but she’s hopeful and so am I. Now that we only have to do basic maintenance work days are starting to go by slowly but we found an old chess board. I’m trying to teach Echo and Emori how to play but neither of them seems too much interested in it. Do you still remember how I used to kick your ass every time we played? When I get down we should play again.”
“Bellamy, it’s Clarke. I’ve been roaming what was Trikru territory today. No much trees left here either but I’m pretty sure I head a bird. That is encouraging. The radiation levels are getting down quickly too so I’m hoping other animals will come back soon. Still no word from the bunker. I’m thinking of head to Polis next. To see how things are there. By the way I didn’t know you played chess. Wells and I used to play when we were still back on the Ark. I challenge you so make sure to take that chess board back with you when you come down.”
Day 560
“Happy Birthday Octavia! I would sing to you but you know how awful at that I am so I’ll spare you. We’re having a small party for you here. It’s nothing much buy I will be dammed if I don’t celebrate my little sister’s birthday. Despite all, it was the best day of my life after all. I love you so much.”
“Bellamy, it’s Clarke. I’m still trying to clear the rubbles from the bunker doors but there are so much. I might have to come up with something more than brute strength. Anyway I have got a deer today while hunting. I’m having a feast in Octavia’s honor too.”
Day 730
“It’s been two years O. It still doesn’t seem true. I finally went to the Skybox today. I’ve seen your cell. I’ve seen hers too. I knew she drew but O… I wish you could have seen it. It was full of beautiful drawings of earth. While there I can almost see the forest and the sky again. It’s my favorite place in the whole ship now. I miss her so much O.”
“Bellamy. It’s been 730 days since praimfaya. Two years. Three more to go. I’ve been drawing lately. I’ve drawn Wells, Finn, my mom. Even Kane. I’ve drawn all of you too. Especially you. You’re hard to draw you know. Must be the hair. I miss you too Bellamy.”
Day 1095
“Raven came up with an idea. I couldn’t explain the details to you even if I wanted to but it has to do with using solar energy to power the rocket. I know it will take us two more years to get down but it finally seem we are going somewhere. Keep waiting, we’ll be back before you know it.”
“Bellamy, I almost finished clearing the rubbles in Polis. Thankfully I was able to find some gunpowder left behind. Since I started blowing things up everything became easier. Raven would be so proud of me. I wish you were here but I’m waiting.”
Day 1250
“Today wasn’t a busy day up here. We are still waiting for Monty and Raven to be done with their calculations before we can actually start working on the rocket. So I went through the Ark files and I found out that today would have been her birthday. O. I never knew when her birthday was. I… I just wish I could have wished her a happy birthday. But I can’t now. O… I loved her and I can’t say that to her either.”
Clarke was crying as she heard him break down once again because of her. She knew. She had always known how much she was loved and yet hear him say it out loud was too much to bear. That day her message was the shortest she ever sent.
“I love you too Bellamy.”
Day 1460
“One year, one year and we’ll be back down O. I’m coming.”
“Bellamy I found a girl. A little nightblood who somehow survived the apocalypse. You would love Madi. And in one year I will introduce her to you. One year till we meet again.”
Day 1769
“Hey O. It’s Bellamy again. We are almost done with the preparation for launch. Raven and Monty are optimistic about our chances and I don’t know how to feel about that. Every time we were thinking everything was going to be fine something always happened. Still I trust them so we’ll see.”
“Bellamy it’s Clarke. Today we finished clearing the bunker doors. They shouldn’t have any problems opening them now but if I know my mom and Kane they will play it safe and be sure that the radiation levels are acceptable again before even trying so they might not be out on the five anniversary date. But you will and we are waiting. Made wants to meet you. All of you.”
Day 1825
Bellamy was suited once again in his orange hazmat suit, the only piece missing his helmet. He pressed the radio’s button one last time with anticipation running in his veins.
“Octavia. This is Ark station. This will be the last transmission you will receive from here. It’s finally time. We’re coming home. I love you O. May we meet again.”
And with that he left the radio that had been his lifeline for the past five years behind. He was going back to earth. Once again he was betting his life to go back there. He was afraid just like the first time they fell from space in the Drop-ship but his resolve wasn’t weaker either. Home. He was going home.
Clarke spent the rest of her day watching the sky. She knew that the ship was coming. The ship that five years ago flew away with her heart was finally coming home and she couldn’t but smile at the sky as if it was the most beautiful thing she ever saw.
“You are going to break your neck if you keep staying like that.”
Madi reprimanded her but since they heard Bellamy’s last transmission a couple hours before she kept staring at the sky too.
Clarke didn’t bother to respond to the young girl, she knew she was just as anxious as she was. How couldn't she be after hearing the story of the heroes that fled the apocalypse to the sky over and over again for a whole year?
The silence was starting to get unnerving but it was soon broken by the loud noise of a ship entering Earth’s atmosphere. The were here.
Clarke’s smile grew wider and wider as she saw the rocket get closer to the ground and as it faded from her view, engulfed by the young trees of the forest, she moved towards the rover and started its engine.
“Madi stay here and make something for dinner. Enough for nine people.”
“Oh come on! I wanted to come to!”
“No buts! You’ll have your chance to meet them.” And she started to drive towards the landing site, leaving the Drop-ship and her little nightbleeda behind. She loved Madi, she really did. But this was something she had to do alone.
Bellamy was the first one to get rid of his helmet once they were outside of the rocket. He could breathe and didn’t die horribly from radiation poisoning. It was going to be ok. Earth knew how to be a bitch but he wouldn't kill them, not that day at least.
He looked lovingly at the others as they readjusted to being on the ground. This had only be possible thanks to her and her sacrifice. He knew she would have been proud but his heart still wished she could be able to see them. To see how far they had come.
His thoughts were interrupted by the noise on an engine getting closer. It was a sound he knew all too well and when he was finally able to see the rover popping out of the young forest his heart swelled. Octavia must have seen them come down. He had missed his sister so much in the past five years that all he wanted to do was hug her until his arms fell apart.
But it wasn’t Octavia that came out of the rover. He was sure that his eyes were deceiving him. It couldn’t be. And yet it was her. Her blonde mane was shorter but so undoubtedly hers, as were her eyes, so blue and bright and alive that he had to remind himself to breathe at the sight.
Everyone was staring in shock at the girl who everyone thought was dead, everyone petrified in their disbelief until she said one word and the spell was broken.
“Bellamy.”
It was little more than a breath but that voice, her voice that he had missed so much was like lightning sparking him alive again. In less than a second he covered the distance that divided them and he wrapped his hands around her with such strength that both of them came crushing down with their knees on the ground, tangled in an embrace that conveyed five years of longing and regrets and mostly love.
“Clarke.” He cried in her hair.
“I’m here. Bellamy. I’m here.” She cried back, tears falling on her cheeks too.
“I thought you were dead.”
“But I’m not. I’m ok and so are you.”
He broke the hug just enough to be able to look her in the eyes. A tender hand caressing her face as guilt hit him over joy and relief.
“I’ve left you behind. I-”
“No. It’s ok.”
“It’s not! I-”
“You used your head. As I asked you to. Bellamy, you did good. I’m so proud of you.”
“Clarke. I missed you so much.”
“I know. I’ve missed you too.”
He didn’t know how much time he spent lost in taking in her features once again, and if it wasn’t for Raven who trow herself at Clarke too, he would have probably spent all eternity looking in her eyes.
After Raven all came in to hug their leader, even Emori and Echo. He smiled, bright and unburdened as he hadn't in years. Whatever Earth decided to trow is way now was sure would be fine because they were together again and together they were unstoppable.