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Winter had slipped into the castle without warning and with more bite than the year before. Arthur was growing restless and that meant more work and hassle for Merlin, keeping Arthur happy and content. Today Arthur has been more persistent and prattish than normal and Merlin thinks that today couldn’t possibly get any harder as he,
“MERLIN!”
Speaks too soon.
Racing blindly up to Arthur’s chambers he runs straight into the bellowing royal.
“There you are you idiot, I have been looking for you everywhere! I need you to go to the kitchens and fetch some carrots, dates and ready our horses!”
Merlin looks at him incredulous, does the king seriously think he is deliberately going out there in the freezing snow? He is not going hunting during this weather, he is not!
“Take that look off you face Merlin, we are not going hunting, but we will be taking a ride out to the forest. That’s an order Merlin, from your King.” Arthur folds his arms and just stands there expectantly. Merlin doesn’t make any motion to move or leave.
“GO MERLIN!” He insists, shooing his manservant off to the kitchens, ignoring the muffled insults coming from his mouth. Despite how much Merlin is refusing to go outside Arthur is excited, he has been waiting to do this for a long time.
“Seriously Gaius, he wants to go out in these conditions, can he not see the place is covered in SNOW? If he expects me to go out there without complaining he has another thing coming!”
Merlin paces waving the supplies angrily, Gaius just stands there eyebrow raised.
“Did you even ask why he wants to go out there Merlin?” Merlin stops and turns to Gaius, running a hand through his hair.
“Erm, no, I just assumed he was being a prat, and forcing me out into the cold like he tries every winter” he shrugs. Gaius sighs, “Why don’t you go with him and just keep an open mind, he might surprise you”
“Fine, I will go with him. But if I get sick or I have to use my magic and he finds out, I am blaming you Gaius!” He turns and heads out the door towards the stables, where he finds Arthur with the horses ready to go.
“There you are Merlin, I thought you had gotten lost again” Arthur grins and nudges him, his smile melting Merlin’s frosty mood without any effort.
“Hey! That was only a couple times!” Merlin pushes back before jumping onto his horse, “So where are we going anyway?”
Arthur gets on his horse, turns and heads off without answering Merlin leaving him to just follow along.
A couple of hours of riding and they appear at an open field inside the forest, leaving Merlin with no idea what the purpose of this trip was.
Arthur dismounts his horse and ties the reins around the closest tree and settles the blanket and supplies down on the ground. Merlin follows suit and starts to collect the dry wood he can to start a fire since it seems they might be here a while. As he starts to light the fire he notices that Arthur is trying to set up a tent, trying being the operative word.
“Arthur what are you doing? First of all, you are doing that all wrong and second, are you mad? It is far too cold to be setting up camp for the night, the freezing floor will kill us before the sun rises in the morning!” he exclaims rushing over to the flailing king, helping him to set up the tent properly.
“Don’t worry Merlin I will keep your cold bottom warm” he winks and heads away from the tent, leaving a speechless and blushing manservant.
“Arthur what are we doing out here? Why have you brought me out here in the cold snowy winter? Why are we staying the night and why did you ask me to get these strange supplies?” Arthur ignores the questions preferring to roll snow into an increasingly large ball.
Once the tent is set Merlin walks over to his king and sits down next to him quietly asking, “Arthur, why are we here?”
Arthur mumbles a response that he can’t hear so he leans in further repeating his question. He looks up faces close together and looks Merlin straight in the eye and says, “I wanted to build a snowman.” Looking back down almost ashamedly he starts to roll more snow. “You don’t have to join me, you can just go back if you think it is too childish for you.”
Merlin sits there for a moment, “Arthur, why didn’t you just ask me to come out and build a snowman with you? You didn’t have to go to all this effort just to get me out here”
“Would you have really joined me Merlin? If I came to you and said come with me I want to spend some time with you, just us, playing in the snow, would you actually say ‘Sure Arthur, I will come and spend time with you there is nothing I would rather do than relax in the snowy forest’? I just can’t see it, besides it is to push aside duties to occupy my time with my manservant.”
Merlin places a hand on Arthur’s shoulder, “I would go anywhere if you asked me, duties or not. When have I refused you before?”
Arthur shrugs his hand off his shoulder “Every winter actually. ‘Arthur I am too busy stoking fires’, ‘It is too cold out there Arthur’, ‘Haven’t you spent enough time outside with the knights?’”
“I thought you were messing with me, trying to get me to go hunting with you or something. If I had known you wanted to let go in the forest, I would have happily joined you. I didn't expect someone like you to enjoy things like this.”
“Merlin this isn't just about the snowman, I miss you in these colder months. I barely see you with you running around with Gaius healing the townspeople. I just wanted you to myself for a bit, do you know what I do most of that time?”
“Train with your knights? Boss servants? Kingly duties?” he tilts his head in questioning as Arthur then stares at him more determined.
“I talk to the tapestries Merlin. The tapestries! I go down and talk to the horses in the stable too! Because I miss you Merlin, it isn’t the same without you around”
Merlin moves his hand to Arthur’s neck. “Well now you don’t have to talk to the tapestries anymore and freak out the servants, because I am happy to join you whenever you need me. You don’t have to be lonely anymore, I promise. Anytime you need to get away from the castle let me know and we will come out here and make snowmen and have snowball fights, where we can just be Arthur and Merlin, enjoying each other’s company.”
Arthur smiles and pulls Merlin close to him “I will hold you to that promise Merlin, I will drag you out here whenever I need you”
“Well then Sire, we will never get anything achieved because you always need me” Merlin replies cheekily.
“Yes I do Merlin, so what are we going to do about that?” Arthur edges closer to Merlin’s face, watching his reactions carefully.
“This!” Merlin exclaims as he shoves a snowball down Arthur’s shirt and runs off to hide behind a tree where he uses his magic to create a pile of perfectly round snowballs, while Arthur splutters, “I will you get you for that Merlin!”
“I am counting on it Sire!” he responds as he sends a ball hurtling towards Arthur’s face.
The snowball fight continues on with both sides about even.
“Merlin do you have magic?” Merlin stops dead, worried he has messed up.
“No, Sire”, he responds simply, to which Arthur shouts back “Then how are you beating me? You are not normally this skilful.” A grin returns to Merlin’s face “Pure strategy milord, you should try it sometime”
“You asked for it now Merlin!” as he fires multiple balls at Merlin all hitting their target perfectly.
Their antics continue until the sun starts to fade and Arthur notices that Merlin starts to shiver. He starts a fire and grabs a blanket from his supplies wrapping it around the both of them.
“Thank you for coming Merlin, it meant a lot to me.” Merlin looks at him fondly and leans his head on Arthur’s shoulder. “I’m serious I have never had a snow fight or built a snowman before. I always wanted to but father never let Morgana or I play out in the snow in case we got sick. It wasn’t until I started going on patrols that I really had a chance to enjoy the winter, and even then it was only for serious duties.” Arthur’s grip tightens on Merlin’s waist as he continues. “I always wondered if my mother had survived what my life would have been like as a child. Whether I would have been allowed to play and have fun; to just be Arthur. But I guess I will never know now.”
“Well now you have me, you don’t have to hide who you are. You don’t have to be anyone, not the King Arthur Pendragon, not the protector, not the knight, just Arthur.” Merlin smiles into Arthur’s neck just feeling the comfort of Arthur’s presence.
“And you have me Merlin, where you can just be yourself. Not the physician’s assistant, or the King’s manservant or even the kingdom’s most powerful sorcerer, don’t panic Merlin, I have known for some time. You don’t have to be afraid to be yourself with me either. I want you to feel you are safe to be who you are with me. Just Merlin, the clumsiest, bravest and most endearing person I have ever known.” He pauses raising a hand to lift Merlin’s forehead to touch his.
“And the one whom I could not imagine ever living without in this life. You complete me Merlin, without you I am only half the man I am today”
Leaning in and meeting Arthur half way their lips touch, softly as if neither of them can believe this is actually happening. He pulls back and Arthur watches as for the first time Merlin’s face is completely free of panic, no signs of secrets and lies, no hurt, no fear, just relief and joy; it is the most beautiful sight he has ever seen. Arthur pulls him up to stand.
“I think it’s time to retire, we can talk about everything another day, next time we come here” he tells Merlin as he leads him to the tent, snuggling closer to him and feeling him relax in his embrace and finally fall asleep.
By the time the sun had well and truly risen the King and his Sorcerer were packed up, on their horses and making their way back to Camelot. No evidence of their time is left except for a burnt out campfire and a snowman adorned with smile and eyes made of coal, sticks for arms, carrot for a nose and a neckerchief to keep him warm in the frigid nights.