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"She...she is far away from me. She walks in starlight in another world...." There's a beat, a breath: "Do you think she could have loved me?"
Fili watched, half holding his breath, as Kili reached for the lady elf's hand. She too seemed caught in her own moment, not quite taking Kili's hand, not quite taking her fingers from his reach. But she stared down at him, her breath lying lightly on her tongue, just as Fili's did.
Oin sidled up to Fili and said, "It’s an honor to watch healing like that."
Fili let out his breath. Yes, of course, Kili was healed, saved. Despite Oin's calls for herbs and salves, he wouldn't have saved Kili's life, not given the strong hold the infection had taken. This elf had answered Mahal's call.
Kili's murmurings became soft noises of calm sleep and his hand came to rest at his side. The lady elf lifted her hand and held her fingertips to her lips as if finishing a distant kiss. Fili didn't think they had ever twined fingers, though he had to admit to himself of needing to look away.
A clamor came from the porch beyond, not unlike the noises that preceded the latest orc attack. Bard stood, placing himself between the door and his children. Bofur scrambled to his feet and held up the large fishhook as if it were his mattock. Fili darted forward towards the door; the lady elf reaching there first.
But they saw nothing and no other noises followed. The sky had turned pitch black and the stars seemed too far away to provide any light to the night.
The lady elf stared off at the distance. Fili wondered what became of the blond elf who'd come with her and left. He figured she wondered the same.
What if she had followed his order? What if she had left with him? Fili looked over his shoulder at Kili asleep on the table, bowls and foodstuffs still surrounding him, those things they hadn't shoved onto the floor in their panic to save him.
Kili already looked healthier and restful. The pallor of before had given way to the ruddy color of flushed cheeks. Small drops of sweat on his brow suggested a fever breaking.
Despite his general unease of elves—and this one in-particular—Fili cleared his throat and looked up at her.
"Thank you. For healing him."
She glanced down, her eyes slightly widened to see him. Had she not realized he stood there?
But her expression softened and she smiled, saying, "How could I not? He's..." She hesitated, then she too looked over her shoulder at Kili, her mouth forming other words that Fili figured he didn't want to hear. Then instead she pressed her lips together in a mild smile. "How could I not?" she said again.
Fili nodded and laughed softly to himself. Of course. He would not be the one to deny his brother's charm and, clearly, this elf had discovered Kili's talent in that as well. He could charm a club from a troll’s hand. Though usually, he’d rather raise his bow.
"Nonetheless, thank you," Fili said and he meant to stop there. But his words seemed so pale. Did thank you truly convey his relief and gratitude to see his brother breathing peacefully again? Fili stared at Kili; he watched the way Kili’s lashes fluttered against his cheeks. “I do not know what I would do if...” He stopped; he couldn’t say the words. It’d been too close, too real. “He means everything to me. More than..." But again he hesitated. How could he explain?
"Just, everything," he said, at last.
The elf’s smile widened and Fili glanced up at her and saw her beauty, maybe for the first time. She looked nothing like lady dwarves. Too thin and sleek and cold like marble. But something did shimmer beneath her skin and twinkle in her eyes. And, unlike the elves of her own realm, she seemed kind, if distant.
“I understand,” she said.
However, distance was not something dwarves knew much of, at least not between each other. “No,” Fili said, “I don't think you do, but I don't expect you to.” He didn’t mean the words to be cruel or condescending. As he knew little of her life, he figured she knew little of his.
If the elf meant to counter Fili’s comment, she was interrupted by Oin. “Fili, he's waking up.”
Fili hurried to Kili’s side. He took Kili’s hand and held it up against his chest and intently watched Kili wake. Kili grimaced and puffed out a breath of air, shaking his head a bit. The elf too had rushed to Kili’s other side. She didn’t take his hand, but hovered much as Fili did. A deep instinct rose up within Fili. He wanted to tell her she’d done her job: she’d healed him and he’d thanked her, so she did not need to still be there, to be that close. He dearly wanted to say the words: “Thank you, but you can go now.”
But then Fili remembered Kili’s half-delirious words. She walks in starlight. Had he truly meant them? Did she have a right to be there, too?
“Fili?”
Kili’s voice cracked with the roughness that illness brought; he slowly opened his eyes.
Fili squeezed Kili’s hand. “I'm right here.”
“I-I'm not dead?”
The relief felt like armor suddenly lifted from his shoulders. Fili smiled. “No, you're quite alive. Thank Mahal.” Though he darted a nervous glance at the elf. He never spoke their godly name in the presence of a non-dwarf! Must she still be here?
Kili let out a long sigh and closed his eyes again, as if it was difficult to keep them open. “I thought maybe I died,” he said. “I had visions.”
“You're all right now.”
Kili continued on: “I saw a spirit. It shimmered like starlight. It looked like that elf with the red hair.”
Fili glanced back at the elf and met her gaze. Her eyes were wide again, shimmering. Fili hated the excitement he saw there.
The elf looked back at Kili. “No, little dwarf, I'm here. It's Kili, right?” Fili watched as she mimicked him, taking Kili’s hand and holding it in both of hers. “We were never formally introduced,” she said, grinning.
Kili’s eyes were open now. “Oh. Oh! Just now, I thought you were our mother standing there.” Kili looked back up at Fili, his brow furrowed in his clear confusion. “I thought we were home.”
Fili squeezed Kili’s hand again and held it even tighter against his chest. “We're still in Laketown, remember? Thorin and the others went on to Erebor. Bofur and Oin are here too.” Fili thought he heard the dwarves move closer at the sound of their names, but he didn’t take his gaze off Kili.
“Erebor...” Kili said, in a whisper, thinking. Then his eyes widened with shock; he stared at Fili again. “You. You stayed!”
Fili smiled. “Of course I stayed. You're...” he hesitated over the Khuzdal affection he usually said to Kili. “…my brother. Where else would I be?”
Kili’s face only twisted further. “Fili, I'm sorry!”
“Shhh, what are you apologizing for?” Fili brushed strands of hair from Kili’s forehead.
“But Thorin...Erebor...”
“We'll get there.” Fili realized he tutted as their mother would, soothing Kili as she had when they were wee darrows. “They should have the door opened by now. When you're able, we'll follow over and catch up with the rest of the company.”
But Kili wouldn’t be soothed. “But I kept you from—“
“Kili.” Fili cut him off, a sharper edge to his voice than he intended. But all his emotions of earlier—banked down because of the elf, because he wanted to be strong for his brother—came surging forward. “I could not be there without you. What would be the point of reaching Erebor and you not being there by my side?” Fili leaned forward to touch his forehead to Kili’s. “When has my dear brother ever not been by my side?” Fili’s voice cracked as he said the last. He saw tears collecting in Kili’s lashes and as Kili touched his face, brushing his lips with his fingers, another kind of relief rushed through Fili’s heart.
After a moment, Fili realized that the elf had backed away from the table. Had she seen too much? Did she understand now? But Kili noticed her growing distance as well. He turned his head quickly and reached out his hand to her.
“Tauriel! Wait, are you leaving? How did you come to be here? I thought I dreamt you.”
The elf, Tauriel, smiled as she approached the table again, though Fili saw how she looked to him first. She regarded him as one might a wild creature, uncertain how it might react. She gaged his response to her proximity. But with the warmth of Kili’s touch still on his cheek, Fili could easily give her a nod of approval. She breached the last distance between herself and Kili; she even took his offered hand.
“The orcs,” she said, answering Kili. “Myself and Legolas tracked them here. They continue to hunt you and your company. There was one who...” She stopped and shook her head, then smiled wider. “It's not important. I am so glad to see you well.”
She spoke so brightly, sincerely, that Fili felt silly for being jealous over innocent affections. She clearly liked his brother and why wouldn’t she? Why wouldn’t Kili be impressed by someone who gave him kindness and fought so well in his presence? Fili smiled at her, then turned to Kili.
“She healed you, Kili. You didn't have a vision; that was her.”
Wide eyed, Kili looked from Fili to Tauriel. “You saved my life?”
She shifted closer. “Your friends...your brother, they cared for you. It was pure luck that I even arrived.”
Fili let out a soft sigh and said: “An answer to a prayer.”
Kili darted him a glance. “What?”
But Fili only smiled. “Nothing.”
After giving them much space and time, Oin shuffled forward, his voice too loud for the small room. “Now now, Fili, let the lad sleep a bit. He's been through a lot.” He clapped Fili on the shoulder as if to comfort against his words.
But Before Fili could even move, Kili tightened his grip on Fili’s hand, his eyes wide as if panicked. “Don't go,” he said.
Fili soothed Kili’s forehead, brushing at dark strands that weren’t even there. “I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be right here, âzyungâl, my nadad.” This time, he didn’t hold back the dwarven endearments. He thought Kili might want to hear them, and he desperately needed to say them.
It didn’t take Kili but a moment to fall back to sleep. Though he’d been healed and he would survive, he still had some recovery ahead of him.
Tauriel drifted away again, back to the door, staring at the dark sky. Fili laid down Kili’s hand, kissed his forehead and then came to Tauriel’s side.
They were silent for a few breaths before she said, “I think I understand better.”
Fili nodded. He thought maybe, this time, she did. “Dwarves will often bond....very closely.”
If she had a comment to that, she didn’t make it. Instead, she looked at him and he met her glance; the twinkle in her eye had returned. “He's quite special.”
“That he is.”
She smiled. “I'm glad I stayed.”
Fili nodded as he looked out over Laketown, his smile soft and calm. “As am I.”
But as he noticed something large and looming coming towards the village, flying over the lake, his smile faded. Tauriel took a step forward and gasped.
They were not out of danger, yet.
The End