Archive of Our Own ^beta

When Seth and Ryan finally got married¹, they almost didn't invite Aunt Jess.

"Seth Ezekiel Cohen, you're inviting her, and that's final," were his mother's words on the subject. His father gave him that "I'm disappointed in you; you can do better" look, and Ryan quirked an eyebrow, and that was that.

When the RSVPs began pouring in, Seth was at the mailbox every day mere seconds after the postman arrived. Each day that the letter from Cabot Cove didn't arrive, he breathed another sigh of relief -- until the next day, anyway. It wasn't that he disliked her, or that he was ungrateful for all that she'd done for the family -- it was just that he'd bought himself a new tuxedo for a wedding, not a funeral. Ryan noticed what Seth was doing, of course, and probably knew exactly what was going on in his brain.³ He didn't say anything, though; he just rolled his eyes and offered up a silent prayer for patience, as he had daily for the last ten years.

At last the reply arrived, with a note of congratulations. Of course she would be there; she wouldn't miss it for the world.

On the morning of the wedding, Seth had nearly forgotten his worries about Jessica Fletcher and the trail of bodies she tended to leave in her wake. Those worries were subsumed by the fact that he was getting married. He was going to get up there under the chuppah in front of his family and friends and God and everyone and declare his love for his best friend. Seth wondered if it was too late to elope to the Netherlands⁴.

The big day was a blur of flowers and cameras and bunting⁵ and people; god, so many people. His parents knew everyone in Newport, and everyone had shown up. Seth downed three mimosas before the ceremony⁶ and before he even knew what was happening, he'd said "I do" and kissed Ryan and broke the glass and it was over.

At the reception, when they were making their way around all the tables to greet their guests, Seth suddenly remembered that Jessica was there. He was, however, three sheets to the wind at that point, which made it easy for Ryan to lure him over to her table.

"I read your new novel, Mrs Fletcher. I really liked it," Ryan said after the initial pleasantries. Seth stood behind him, looking over his shoulder and wondering if it was right to be using his husband (dear God, his husband) as a human shield.

"Why thank you, dear. You know, I was thinking, I may set my next novel at a wedding. Weddings are wonderful studies in human nature, you know... people are all gathered together and very friendly on the surface, but there are so often hidden undercurrents when you reunite family and old friends." She'd clearly noticed the tension between Hailey and Jimmy. Or maybe the tension between Hailey and Kirstin. Or the tension between Hailey and, well, half the Newpsies in attendance.

"As long as it's only fiction," Ryan joked. He'd had a fair amount of champagne too.

Jessica smiled wryly. "Well, that's hardly up to me now, is it?" She tilted her head to the side, looking up at the two men. "You know, I almost didn't make it here. An hour into my connecting flight, a passenger found a dead man in the plane's lavatory."

Seth stopped breathing, his arms clenched around Ryan's waist tight enough to make the other man wince. "R... really?" he managed.

Jessica looked up at them with a twinkle in her eye as she laughed. "No, dear. I just wanted to see the look on your face."

¹In California, where the marriage was really called a "civil union."² Massachussetts had ended up deciding not to marry out-of-staters of any gender, and no one in his right mind wanted to get married in New Jersey.

²A term which, if mentioned in front of Sandy Cohen, would get you a fifteen minute lecture on the Equal Protection clause, sometimes with a bonus digression into how the legislative response to Baker v. Vermont was no better than Plessy v. Fergusson as an example of bad legal precedent. Plus a state-by-state update on the ACLU's battle to legalize same-sex marriage.

³After ten years in a relationship, the mental telepathy thing is a given. For Seth and Ryan, it had begun on day one.

⁴Which did have gay marriage, which is why they were going there for their honeymoon. Ryan had suggested Tahiti, which didn't, and Seth had (in a rare moment of activism) rejected the idea.

⁵Seth was never letting his mother decorate anything, ever, again.

⁶It was either that, or become the star of Runaway Bride II: Runaway Groom.