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“Why is she so mean?” There is no way to mistake the disdain in the intern’s voice. Owen immediately knows who she is talking about, he doesn’t have the strength to have this conversation today. Not after just losing Mark.
“She's just trying to teach you.”
He hopes she will leave it, and really, it should be answer enough. It is not Dr. Grey’s job to coddle and baby the interns, they will never really learn if that is the case. But of course, luck has never truly been on his side.
“No, why is she so mean? Is it that plane crash? What? I heard she was in a plane crash with some other doctors. They were stranded in the woods for, like, a week. People died or almost died or something.” Jo, the intern, keeps pressing. Her voice still holds disdain, and Owen is shocked by the cavalier way she talks about the plane crash. He doesn’t understand how she can so easily place so little emphasis on such a tragic event, how can she not understand?
“Yeah, yeah, people died or almost died or ... something. Dr. Grey isn't mean.” Owen pauses. He really should leave it at that, it’s not his place to lecture this intern. But, with the loss of Mark still so fresh in his mind, and really, they haven’t even truly lost Mark yet, in some corner of the hospital they are only just turning off life support. The loss is still there, because he knows in just a matter of hours Mark Sloan will be dead.
“No, you know what… Dr. Grey isn’t mean, she is strong. She has lost more than you could ever imagine. and she keeps going, day after day, she keeps going.” Owen is suddenly filled with such passion, he feels the need to make this intern understand. He takes a moment to look at the intern, Jo Wilson, he tells himself. He can see pain in her eyes, he is not trying to undervalue her pain, but in this moment, he needs her to understand.
“People died in that plane crash, we don’t really talk about It, but you need to know. People died” Owen doesn’t know how much more he can stress that. “Her sister died in that plane crash, a sister who she only just got, a sister who taught her to love her own family, she died.” Emotion is dripping into his voice, he wants to hid it but he can’t. He can see the anger deflating from the intern, remorse slipping onto her face.
“And, right now, in this very hospital, A man she considered a brother, A man who was a brother to her husband in everything but blood is dying. Right this minute, they likely just took him off life support and he will die.” Owen’s voice breaks, picturing the life Mark once had to what it is now. He lowers his voice, the anger gone and all that remains is pain. “Everyone in this hospital is feeling those losses, you may not be because you came later- and that’s not your fault, but this hospital is a family.” he pauses, breathing is becoming harder. He, himself, cannot even begin to comprehend all the loss this hospital has experienced.
“Dr. Grey… She has been a part of this family long before me, she has been a doctor here for a very long time- and she has survived the unimaginable. Some of it even I don’t know.” Owen looks down and sighs, looking up again he can see the remorse and humility in the interns face. “She has drowned, she was almost blown up, her mother died in this hospital, one of her friends died in this hospital, her husband was shot in this hospital, and she… She has survived it all.” Owen straightens up, he doesn’t have much strength left within him. He knows what he needs to do, Thoughts of April and Mark flash across his mind.
“So, No, Dr. Grey isn’t mean. She is strong, and she is the best damn teacher you could ask for. Yes, she can be harsh and demanding but she knows you are capable. She knows you can survive. So if you can’t handle that, handle being a surgeon, then you should just leave.” He makes eye contact with the intern, praying that she understands.
“You will survive, you are strong, and this is how you learn. The Appy… It’s designed for you to fail, because you need to know you aren’t indestructible and that you will experience failure. It’s designed to knock you over, so that you will know how to stand up again.” Owen leaves her at that. He didn’t let her dismiss the loss to this hospital, this family. And in doing so he hopes he taught her something.
The intern is still standing in the middle of the hallway, but Owen hopes he saw what he thought he did. Because what he thinks he saw was a determination, and the inkling of humility. He saw a true surgeon.